Growing Up Potter
by Birchwood29
Summary: The famous question: What is it like to be Harry Potter's daughter?
1. Chapter 1

I sat back in the uncomfortable chair, my back pressed against the thick plastic. My movements cause my sister to turn to me and give me a look before she directs her attention back at the stage. I scowled and turned my attention back on my father as he gives yet another speech about…well, something. I stopped listening a long time ago.

We do these every week it seems. Everyone wants a piece of the famous Harry Potter. However, this is for the new wing in the hospital my aunt worked so hard to get, so he felt as though he should show up and say _something_.

I shifted again.

"Will you cut it out," my sister hisses, her eyes still fixed on my father. Her legs are crossed, her hands clasped tightly onto of her right leg. Her long, perfect red hair hangs down around her face like a curtain; her green eyes (our father's eyes) watch the stage as though she had never seen him give a damn speech before.

I'm pretty sure I love my sister. I mean, I must. She is my sister, after all, but sometimes I just want to hit her in the face. This just happened to be one of those times. I couldn't stand her face at the moment and wanted to reach into my pocket, take out my wand and turn her into a frog or something.

I'm sure all siblings hate each other during their teen years, though she's about to exit hers, as am I, and I still can't seem to shelve these bitter thoughts about her. For example, I sometimes dream that she'll wake up with a giant, ugly wart in the middle of her perfect forehead and she'll be so ugly she can't go outside. Then maybe she'll be a little nicer.

See, my entire life I've been compared to her. Well, not so much compared to her as someone wishing I _was_ her. If I hear "Why can't you be more like your sister?" one more time I think I will go crazy and kill her.

Why can't I be more like her? Because I am a human being! She is some weird race of species that only exists in horror novels. Elizabeth, my sister, is probably not a real person but some experiment my parent's decided to keep and raise. Because, really, who the hell is that bloody perfect all the time? I've lived with her for seventeen years and I've never seen her so much as stutter.

"Sorry," I replied softly. She tears her eyes away from the _riveting_ scene of my father, pink-faced and embarrassed, to fix me with a cold glare.

"Shh!"

I almost replied with something foul but instead turned my attention back towards the stage where, thankfully, dad's speech was winding down. I could tell because those around him were already poised to clap. I bet he could have ended with, "And fuck all of you, I'm going home!" and he would still get a standing ovation. I'll suggest it for next time.

"Thank you," he concluded. There is an immediate upheaval and everyone begins to go wild. For a moment I thought someone had set off a firework or something, but everyone was going wild for dad.

He disappeared backstage, sure enough to get out of the spotlight, and the crowd began to scatter towards the dinner tables. The speech was over, but the dinner and dancing wasn't. I was in for a looong night.

"So how was it?" dad asked, coming over to us looking quite harassed. He turned towards a crowd of women all looking pouty, quills in hand for an autograph, before looking back at us hopefully.

"Oh, dad, you did wonderful!" Elizabeth supplies immediately. "Really inspiring." Oh, you bitch.

"Yeah, dad, you did great," my brother says. He claps my father on the back and scans the crowd, no doubt looking for his nightly shag. My brother is a bit of a slut, but that's another story. "Like Lib said, very inspiring."

All eyes turn to me, no doubt waiting for me to follow up on Elizabeth's tear-jerker of a response.

"I liked it," I said, smiling in my way.

"Which parts?" Elizabeth asked. See, this is why I hate her. She's such a bitch! What the hell did I ever do to her, you might ask. I'll tell you. All I ever did was be born! And I can't even help that.

"The parts where he was talking," I snarled at my sister.

Mum could already smell a fight coming, for she broke in almost immediately. "Come on, Potter, buy me a drink, will you?" She took dad by the arm and led him towards the bar. Mum and dad are still pretty young, only thirty-eight.

As soon as they were gone I turned to my sister who was searching the crowd for someone. She spotted a friend and left my side without so much as a good-bye. I watched her weave her way towards Stella Grover, who she has been friends with since First Year.

"Well, I think we should-" I began but my brother had apparently spotted something he might like and was walking away. "Hey!" I stepped forward and yanked at his arm. "Where are you going?"

"Over there with Lucy," he said gesturing towards a girl with long brown hair.

"Her name is Lila," I snapped.

"Whatever," he said and began to go forward again and I pulled at his arm. "Will you let off of me?"

"What am I supposed to do?"

"Go sit down," he suggested. "Mum and dad should be at the table already." I gave him a look and he rolled his eyes. "Listen, I've been after Lisa-"

"Lila."

"-Lila for almost six months now."

"I can see she's made quite the impression."

"If I didn't think I'd be having a shag with her in the coatroom I would totally hang out with you, little sister."

"You are such a slut," I said with disgust. He shrugged carelessly as though he could care less. And he probably couldn't care less because he is an air-head.

"Yes, but I'm deliriously happy," he said and walked off, leaving me standing in the middle of the hall by myself. I gave one more look to my sister before I pushed my way through the crowd towards the tables.

"Wait!"

I turned in surprise to see a woman sitting at a table covered with little cards with numbers on them.

"You'll have to sign in," she said as though I were mentally-challenged. "Name?" I went over to her and glanced quickly at the list.

"Roe Potter," I said.

"Hmm," she said quietly and began to scan the scroll. She kept unrolling it until it was hanging off the table. "I'm sorry; we don't have a Roe Potter."

"Rosemary Potter, then?" I snapped. She bent down and looked at the list again. Suddenly her wand shot up and my name disappeared from the list. All the names scurried up to take its place.

"Here you go." She handed me a small card with a number one on it. "That's your table number."

"Yeah, thanks." Idiot.

I walked through the doorway into an elegant ballroom. My heels sunk into the plush red carpet. It had small golden flower thingies in some sort of pattern all around it. I eyed the tables looking for my number. I finally spotted mum's head through the crowd and made my way over to her.

"Oh, Roe, good, I want you to meet someone!" Mum said happily, grabbing my hand and pulling me further a long until I was standing in front of a short, stout man with a mustache and a drink in his hand. "This is Augustus Marks," she said happily, as though I was supposed to know who the hell he was. In my silence she glared at me and then tittered. "You know, head of the hospital. He's hosting the opening for dad."

"Oh, I'm so sorry, of course!" I gushed. I didn't really know who he was but I couldn't very well keep staring at him with a blank look on my face. "How are you?"

"Very well, thank you," he replied. "Your mother tells me you might be interested in the medical field like your sister, Elizabeth." My smile falters. "She's quite the intern, I must say. You'll have some big footsteps to follow."

"Oh," I said, at a loss for appropriate words. "That's nice."

"Excuse me," he said, eyeing someone else in the crowd. He departed quickly, leaving me and my mother alone.

"Could you familiarize yourself with some of these people, please?" she snapped, leading me over to the table. "This is just the kind of place where you might make a first impression with a future employer."

"Mum, I don't want to work in the medical field," I said sulkily. I almost added, "Especially if Elizabeth is."

"Oh, but, dear I thought you wanted to become a medic!"

"That's Elizabeth."

"No, remember, we were standing in the Burrow two Christmases ago and you said that your dream was to help people."

"Elizabeth."

"No, you were wearing that cute little dress with the puffy sleeves-"

"Still Elizabeth."

Mum stops talking as we get to the table with dad. He is talking to a tall black man and nodding along with what the man is saying.

"Oh, there you are, Ginny," he says happily, accepting a drink from mum. "Kingsley was just telling me what a wonderful job James is doing."

"Is he doing well?" mum asks anxiously.

"He's a complete natural," Kingsley replies. "Much like his father." Mum and dad beamed and I wanted to puke.

Probably one of the biggest problems with my siblings is that everyone seems to think they are Lily and James Potter reincarnated. If not Lily and James then surely mum and dad. Everyone fawns on them and treats them as if they did this huge, amazing thing. Apparently everyone is able to overlook the fact that James is a man-whore and Elizabeth is pure evil in heels.

Elizabeth is gorgeous and I'll admit I'm insanely jealous. She has long, silky red hair that comes down past her shoulders. She was the only one to inherit dad's green eyes and she wears them proudly. Also, she has the most perfect skin I have ever seen. There is not a trace of a freckle on her face. Not only is she dead gorgeous, she's also bloody brilliant. I mean, she was one of the smartest witches at Hogwarts while she was there.

James, on the other hand, is an idiot. Of course, if he tried as hard with school work as he did trying to unhook a girl's bra, he'd too be a genius. He figures that he has his inheritance and a job and school really doesn't matter in the major scope of things. So, he floated around Hogwarts in a drunken daze and drove McGonagall absolutely bonkers with his lack of work ethic, yet he was still favored by almost every teacher. He could charm the pants off of Voldemort, I tell ya. He got dad's hair and mum's eyes and, of course, everyone compares him to James Potter. He even has an idiot of a best friend to go along with his little act.

However, I have to excel in everything and be at the top of my game at all times to avoid, "Why can't you be more like your sister?" but I do not receive any recognition for it. If I do badly I am chewed out by everyone, but if I do amazingly brilliant than I am just like Elizabeth.

"Kingsley, you remember my daughter, Roe?" dad says, stepping back and putting his arm around my shoulder.

"Of course," Kingsley says. "How are you?"

"Great," I said.

"Are you excited it's your last year at Hogwarts?"

"Yes," I say a little too quickly. "I suppose I'll miss it some, but I'm just excited to get on with living."

Mum and dad laughed along with Kingsley and then he too left. I was instructed to sit down in between mum and what would be James when he got back from shagging that poor girl in a bathroom or a cloakroom.

"Where is your brother?" mum exclaimed some twenty minutes when he hadn't reappeared. She had just motioned for Elizabeth to join her. She turned to me.

"Do you know where he is?"

I shrugged and felt Elizabeth take her seat two seats from me.

"Elizabeth, have you seen your brother?" She shrugged.

"Roe saw him last." I scowled at her.

"Roe?"

"He left to go meet up with David," I lied.

"Didn't you tell him that we would be eating soon?" mum asked, eyebrows raised. I glanced at her face and then scowled moodily at my plate.

So, apparently, I am supposed to keep watch for my dear older brother. Maybe I should just tell her exactly where he is. My parents are oblivious to the fact that he has a running list of girl's he's shagged. They think he's just as perfect as Elizabeth who will have sex…um, let's see…never.

"I'm sorry," I said tartly. "I don't know what I was thinking. Perhaps I should go without dinner?" Mum glared at me and then looked around.

"Oh, here he is." James came around the corner looking flushed. His shirt was untucked and his tie slightly undone. Mum looked him over, perplexed. "What happened to you?"

"I, er, got hot." Dad eyed him curiously, before deciding he probably didn't want to know. James wiped his forehead quickly and sat down next to me. He glanced around the room once before taking his napkin and shaking out and placing it on his lap.

Soon everyone came and sat at their tables and the food appeared. I shook out my napkin as well and eyed the plates heaped with food.

"Pass the salt, Roe," Elizabeth instructed. I did so without looking at her. It helped some not to see her face when I was about to be in a rage. "Could you pass the butter?" I did so. I picked up my fork. "And the peas."

"Anything else, while I'm handing things to you? I'd like to eat some time tonight," I snapped, finally tweaking.

"Roe!" mum said reprovingly. Elizabeth narrowed her eyes at me.

"No," she snarled. "Just the peas. Thanks."

James seemed to be amused by this, because there was a trace of a smile on his face when he asked me to pass the potatoes. I had obviously picked the dreaded spot at the table in which I was in perfect distance to reach everything, thus I was the perpetual bitch of the table.

"Here," I said, dropping the heavy bowl in front of him. He happily scooped more than his fair share onto his plate before passing it to Elizabeth.

"James," mum said. "How's David?"

"David?" James asked. See, this is how dumb he is. Can't he tell I lied for him? Does he really think I wasn't going to lie about what he had been doing?

Mum nodded and slowly, James cottoned on.

"He's fine."

I don't think David is even at this tonight. Mum seemed to be thinking along the same lines, but she let it rest. Of course she did. I do not have such luck. I would have been thrown into a convent by now if I was doing what James was doing. And of course Elizabeth says nothing about David. She knows he isn't here either and yet she keeps her mouth shut for James. Why? Because she's a bitch.

An hour later and I want to slit my wrists out of boredom. There is no one to talk to, save for my siblings and, please, I'd rather not. I haven't had a civil conversation with Elizabeth in years and what the hell could I possibly have to say to James?

Mum and dad have gotten up to dance and left the three of us alone with nothing to say. Well, Elizabeth has something to say, but she doesn't count.

"So, what was her name?"

"What?" James asked.

"Her name. The poor girl you were with."

"Oh, Lila." Well, I'll be damned. "So wasn't worth it. All I got was a blow-"

"James!" Elizabeth snapped, her cheeks reddening with anger. "For the love of Merlin, keep that stuff to yourself."

Elizabeth got asked to dance ten minutes later and James and I were left alone. I sat with my elbow on the table, head in my hand, staring wistfully out at the dance floor.

He suddenly snorted and shook his head. I picked my head up and looked at him.

"What?" I asked.

He jerked his head towards the kid dancing with Elizabeth. "That kid doesn't have a snowball's chance in hell with her. Look at him. He thinks he's going to get lucky."

"How the hell do you know?" I snapped.

"I can just tell. I'd like to warn him that her legs are tightly clamped together and it will take the Jaws of Life to pry them open."

"You are so crude."

"It's true," he said, turning to me.

"Whatever."

He faced forward again and began to drum his fingers against the table. James and I look alike and that's really the only way I know I'm actually related to any of these people. His eyes are really dark though, while mine are much lighter. Other than that we look scarily alike, as though we were the twins and not he and Elizabeth.

I have long, straight black hair. I keep growing it out as long as I can get away with before mum insists I chop some of it off. So far it's down past my breasts and mum is beginning to complain about it again. My eyes are dark brown, though not as dark as James's. I have thick eyelashes and it always gives people the impression I always have eye makeup on.

"James?"

We both turned around at the same time to see Lila standing in back of us looking incredibly embarrassed.

"Oh, hey," James said. He seemed a bit flustered. None of the girls he shagged ever came up to him afterwards. He was the one who made the second move. "What's up?"

"Do you want to dance?" she asked.

"Actually, I'm kind of talking to my sister-"

"I don't mind," I piped up instantly. He turned to me slowly. If looks could kill I would certainly be dead by now. I smiled brightly at him.

"Are you sure?" It isn't a question, it's a threat.

"Quite," I replied. "Go dance." I gave him a little shove and he got up, still glaring at me and then took Lila's hand begrudgingly, and let them to the dance floor.

It only took me a minute before I realized I must look like a complete freak to be sitting by myself. I got up and quickly made my way towards the bar where I was hoping to get something nice and strong while my family was elsewhere.

"Can I have a firewhiskey, please?" I asked the barman. He eyes me suspiciously.

"Can I see your card?" he counters. I sigh and dig into my bag, looking for my card. I can't seem to find it. Where the hell is it? This bag is tiny! Where the hell could it be…Oh, right, I left it on my bedside table.

"Um, see, funny story," I begin. "I seem to have left my card at home. However, I can totally verify that I am seventeen."

"Right, well, I can totally verify that without a card you can not get a drink," he replied sarcastically and picked up his book again.

I was just about to pull the "Don't you know who I am?" card when a voice in my ear stole the words right from my mouth.

"Excuse me, sir, but don't you know who she is?"

I stiffened.

"No," the bartender says, and without missing a beat the voice says, "This is Harry Potter's daughter!"

I turned around. Sure enough he was standing there, looking down at me. I groaned and turned back towards the bartender, who had already gotten me a firewhiskey.

"Oh," I said dumbly and went for my purse. He shook his head.

"It's on the house."

"Thanks," I mumbled and pushed past Cole Malfoy and tried my best to escape him, though he quickly caught up with Malfoy and I have not gotten along since we were eight and at a function quite like this one. I kissed his cheek and told him I liked him and responded with, "Ew! Girls are gross!" and then pushed me down a hill where I landed in mud. Ever since then I haven't been too keen on him. Also, he seems to think he's God's gift to girls. I swear when he enters a room he must think, "Here I am ladies...worship me."

"You're welcome," he said.

"Yeah, thanks," I said shortly. I made my way outside into the warm summer air. He came to stand next to me.

"Enjoying yourself?"

"Oh, yes," I said sarcastically. "I can barely contain my excitement at being here." He leaned against the railing and turned his head towards me. I quickly looked away from him.

"Want to dance?"

"Sure," I said. "With you? No."

"Oh, come on, Roe," he said, suddenly straightening out and standing in front of me. "You know you want me." I snorted into my drink.

"Please tell me you did not just say that!" I said, starting past him. I managed to get down onto the lawn before he caught up with me again. "Don't you take a hint, Malfoy?"

"Roe, listen, why don't you just admit how much you're in love with me and we can really make this night interesting."

"You really think a lot of yourself, don't you, Malfoy?" I asked, walking along the path. I wanted very much to get out of the light. My cheeks must have turned a dozen shades redder than I had ever been in my life.

I took a sip of my drink, feeling it burn the back of my throat. I made my way down to the lake where a few other people were scattered.

"Aren't mummy and daddy going to wonder where you are?" he asked mockingly, coming to stand next to me.

"I'm sorry, is my evident disgust for you not coming out correctly? What do I need to do to get you to understand my dislike for you? Shall I throw feces on you?"

He said nothing. After a moment he said, "Have a nice night." and walked back towards the stairs and into the ballroom.

I quickly glanced back at the lake.

Stupid prick, I think to myself. I take a sip from my drink before spitting it out. It tastes absolutely vile. Who the hell would drink this on a daily basis?

After a while I go back into the ballroom, out of absolute boredom. I must have been out there for at least an hour, if not more. My heels clicked merrily on the stairs as I hurried up them, careful to hold down the back of my dress. The wind was a bit of a pervert and kept making it fly up.

I came around the corner and there was my entire family standing talking to a man and then a woman with a camera. My sister was leaning against my father smiling dreamily as though she wanted to be nowhere else. The man with the quill says something to my father, who looks at my mother and then nods.

"Excuse me," I said, trying to make my way through the crowd. I stop dead when the flash of a lightbulb goes through the air. Another one follows and I hear from the man with the quill, "Thanks. This will run in the morning's paper. Front page I think. Up close and personal with the Potter family."

I gave a little laugh of disbelief. I'm sorry, are you arrogant, self-centered idiots missing someone? How about the youngest Potter, your other daughter, me?

Do they not realize that I am not pictured? Am I such an insignificant person in the family that my presence isn't even recognized? Could I walk out of the room and never come back and just not be missed? Perhaps when they get a letter from Hogwarts asking where I am will they try and think of the last time they saw me.

Something inside of me snaps. No, no, I do not kill my family though it is very tempting. Instead I glance around the room looking for someone in particular. I see him standing with his group of friends.

I walk up to him and grab his arm, pulling him away from his friends. His drink sloshes a bit onto the floor.

"Hey, Potter, where's the fire? Slow down! Hey!" He stumbles as I pull him into a cloakroom and throw him in. I turn to the door and cast a locking charm and a silencing spell.

I turn back to him and he is staring at me with wide eyes as though he has never seen me before. I in turn gaze back at him for a second before moving closer to him. I grab his hand and bring his head down to mine for a kiss. He pulls back instantly.

"What are you doing?" he asks sharply.

"I thought…I mean, don't you like me?" I asked.

"Of course I like you, you just don't like me, remember?" he snapped. "You said you wanted to throw feces on me."

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that," I amend instantly. He still seems a bit nervous of me as though I've been replaced with a pod person.

"Roe-"

Cole is still eyeing me oddly. Perhaps because to mask my unbelievable crush I have on him I have always been a bitch to him. I don't think he really knows how I feel; I think he might think I like him a little more than I let on. However, I do not think he would ever expect me to pull him into the coatroom for a quick shag.

Maybe it's because it's a Malfoy and I knew it would drive my parents absolute bonkers if they knew what I was doing. I was never going to confront them about the article where I was oddly missing, but I would get back at them by shagging Cole. Sure, it's a bit passive-agressive but it makes me feel better.

"Didn't you just say not an hour ago that you wanted to make this night interesting, or something to that effect?"

"I was joking!"

"Well, I'm not," I say seriously. "Listen we can do this or I'll go get someone else to do it with." I turn as though I was going to leave, though I knew I wasn't. In fact if that didn't work I had planned on just begging him to kiss me. I didn't want to do this with anyone else.

As soon as my hand reached the doorknob he grabbed my arm and wheeled me around to face him. His lips were on mine before I could really comprehend what was happening. I kissed him back a bit viciously, attacking his lips.

He had to bend down to reach my lips. He's probably about 6'4 while I think I barely top out at 5'3.

A part of me was telling me that this wasn't a good idea. I knew I should be listening to it because it was right. I was using Cole, who I knew had a huge crush on me. He had never made it a secret that he liked me more than a "friend" though we were never really friends. I knew that this meant something more to him than it did to me, but he was always so nice to me. I just wanted this to happen with someone who was going to be nice to me.

I yanked his sports jacket off and threw it behind me. My hands flew to his tie and I pulled at it, loosening it before I went for the buttons on his shirt. I was fully prepared to just do this as quickly as possible, but he kept making me kiss him and brought my hands away from his clothes. I in turn placed it on the front of my dress, hoping he was going to get the hint.

Finally, when I felt as though he was going to make this last all night, I reached for his zipper and pulled it down. As I reached in he turned a brilliant shade of red. I was a bit stunned as I had never seen him blush before, and I certainly knew he wasn't a virgin.

"Are you alright?" I asked.

"Yeah," he said with ragged breath. He kissed me again and I pushed aside the guilt that was bubbling up inside of me. After a moment I kicked my heels off, and dropped down about five inches, and then pulled my tights down.

Cole gazed down at the nude tights as I tossed them by my shoes. He caught my eye and I had to stop myself from bursting into tears.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" he asked cautiously. "We don't have to."

"No, I do," I said, and pulled my underwear down and then off. I kissed him as tenderly as I could manage and pushed his pants down.

I nearly jumped out of my skin when his hand made its way to a place that, let's say, no one has ever touched before.

"What are you doing?" I said, unable to keep the panicky tone out of my voice. He nudged my neck and then kissed it.

"You'll like it, I promise."

I relaxed a little and, truth be told, I did like it. It felt bloody brilliant, actually. I've never done anything like this before. My last boyfriend seemed pretty content with having his needs met, so I decided I wasn't going to shag him so he shagged someone else. I am still a virgin. Well, I was a virgin.

As soon as he pushed into me I clenched his arms tightly and sucked in my breath through clenched teeth.

"Sorry," he said. He kissed my neck. I knew he was trying to get me to relax and it made me feel comforted. I just wanted to know that someone needed me and that someone liked me. I needed for someone to show me that if I died I would be missed, even if it was just a little bit.

When it was over I replaced my clothes quickly. I took out my wand and undid the locking charm and the silencing charm.

"Well, thanks," I said, not quite meeting his eye. "I'll see you at Hogwarts. Have a nice summer."

I left the room quickly, still putting my shoes back on as I did so. I figured we were in there for about a half an hour.

"There you are!"

I turned sharply to see my brother coming towards me. I panicked and thought he would know instantly what I had been doing, that he would recognize my appearance as something he saw daily.

"Mum and dad are going bonkers looking for you." He took in my smudged lipstick and mussed hair and frowned. "What the hell happened to you?"

"I'm a bit pissed," I lied.

"Merlin, you look like you've been mauled." He took out his wand and cast a sobering charm on me. I colored, but he seemed to think the idea of me getting mauled was as plausible as Elizabeth getting mauled. "We're leaving."

"Good."

He eyed me in a calculating way before turning on his heel and leading me through the crowd towards the rest of the family. Mum let out a cry of surprise when I got there.

"Where were you?" she snapped, handing me my purse. "We almost left without you." Well, there's a surprise.

"Sorry," I said. I didn't mean it. What I meant was, "Bite me."

"Let's go," dad says suddenly. "I think I just saw Rita Skeeter." Mum blanches and hurries us out of the halls and into the warm night air.

"Roe, you come right home." Where the hell else am I going to go? When have I ever not come home? She seems to think that just because I just got my license I'm dying to take off. I am, but I won't.

Mum and dad leave with a pop, shortly followed by James. I am just about to make my departure when Elizabeth grasps my arm. I don't like the look on her face at all.

"And where were you, Roe?"

"None of your business," I snapped. "Let go of me, I want to go home."

"Fine," she said and released my arm. My heart is pounding in my chest. I know for a fact she's going to say something to my parents.

"You know if you're going to get drunk at a party you might want to get the alcohol out of your breath."

For a moment I am silent and then I burst into relieved giggles. She thinks I went and got pissed, just like James thought. For a moment I was under the impression she knew what I had done with Cole.

"Yeah, I'll do that, Lib, thanks." I patted her shoulder and then left with a pop. I arrived back in my bedroom.

"Is that you?" dad called.

"Yeah, it's me," I called.

"Oh, it's you, Roe. Where's Lib?"

"Coming," I snapped. I closed my door over and collapsed onto my bed. My entire body felt as though it weighed a thousand tons. After a moment I feel a wave of guilt wash over me and I hurry to the bathroom and close the door over.

I ripped the dress from my body and tugged the rest of my undergarments off and stepped into the shower. I didn't even bother making the water warm as I scrubbed down my skin. I couldn't stop thinking about the feel of his lips on my skin and tried to push it from my mind. I didn't want to fall in love with him because, let's face it; he only likes me because he knows he can't have me. It's like some big joke to him. I'm the only girl he can't have…well, couldn't have. I just went and let him have me. Now I had to worry that I was going to be called some big slut when I got back to school.

Wrapped in my bathrobe I fell into bed and let my wet hair rest against my pillow. I sighed sadly and closed my eyes.

The next thing I knew my sister was in my face. I let out a scream and jumped back. The room was flooded with light.

"You had a letter," she said, handing it to me. "It's blank, though." I took it from her with shaking hands and opened it.

_Meet me outside in ten minutes. If you don't come out I'll ring the bell._

A/N read and review.


	2. Chapter 2

I turned towards Elizabeth; not quite looking her in the eye but who I knew was giving me a look of intrigue. She stepped aside so I could make my way to the closet. I felt her eyes boring into me as I slipped on a shirt and shorts. I wanted to turn around and shout at her to leave me alone, go die in a hole, but that would seem very suspicious.

So, I gathered my hair into a braid and threw it over my shoulder. I went to my vanity, which was covered in papers and wrappers. I sifted through the piles of trash for my makeup, what very little I had. My "collection" consisted of some eyeliner and a clear lip gloss. I slowly dragged the ball of the gloss over my lip.

I surveyed myself in the mirror and figured I could have looked worse, and then turned to face my sister for the first time since I got the letter. She was standing with her arms crossed, eyes narrowed at me.

"What?" I snapped, shoving past her to my sneakers. I shoved them on without socks and headed towards the bathroom to brush my teeth and rid my mouth of morning breath. Not that I thought I would be kissing him or anything, but I didn't want him to be repulsed by the smell of morning breath so early.

"What are you getting so dressed up for?" my sister asked, coming to stand against the archway of the door. I turned to her, muggle toothbrush working its way around my mouth magically. I was sitting on the toilet seat cover, my fingers drumming along the edges nervously. "You brushed your hair."

"I always brush my hair," I said with some difficulty. I spit out the toothpaste and ignored my sister's amused glance in the mirror. She thinks she's so smug and that she knows exactly what's going on.

"Yeah, well, you never put it up like that," she said teasingly. "You're meeting a boy, aren't you?" I was silent. Part of me almost said, "Yes, so what…bitch!" while part of me wanted to say, "Oh, please. Me? A boy? Who would date me?"

However, my silence triggered a reaction from her and she clapped her hands together in delight.

"This is wonderful, Roe!" she said happily. I squared my shoulders and turned towards her defiantly.

"I'm sorry to burst your bubble," I said haughtily, "but I'm not meeting a boy. That letter was from Demi."

"Why did she write in invisible ink, then?" Elizabeth asked immediately. Can she just not remember everything for once?

"Because," I said with some trouble, "she's having boyfriend troubles and she didn't want you, or anyone else, to know about them."

Elizabeth seemed unconvinced, but she stepped aside as I went past her and down the hall. I heard her footsteps following me down as I went.

The kitchen smelled like vanilla and cinnamon. Mum was standing at the sink, the whisk working its magic while she read from a book, her brow furrowed in confusion.

"Two tablespoons…that can't be right…oh, well," she mumbled to herself. She zapped her wand at the bowl and the creamy white mixture turned a dark brown color. "Hmm…"

"I'm going out, mum," I said, walking past James, who was reading from Quidditch Weekly.

"Bye, darling," mum called, turning to me with a smile. "Be back before two. We're going to grandma's."

"Right," I replied, not catching anyone's eye as I slipped from the house. I glanced around the yard; half expecting him to be sitting on a lawn chair sipping from a glass with a little umbrella in it, don't ask me why. My eyes quickly scanned the yard, until I felt another pair of eyes on me. I knew without looking that Elizabeth was eying me beadily from the kitchen. Without looking back, I began walking down towards the lake, behind the giant shrubbery, and out of sight.

Once I was positive that no one from the house could see me I began to look around wildly. Half of me wanted to call his name and demand he showed himself, until I remembered that if anyone in my house heard me they'd kill me on sight.

I turned my attention forward, across the lake, where Malfoy Manor sat proudly. I could just barely make out the elegant furniture in the living room. My heart began to beat wildly. I no longer wanted to see him. The adrenaline I got from reading the letter was ebbing away and all I was left with was a screaming urge to run.

"Good, you came," I heard from behind me. I turned sharply, my braid switching shoulders, to see Malfoy standing by the giant bushes behind us. "I didn't think you were going too."

"Well, you said you were going to ring my bell," I reminded him. "I didn't really have a choice."

"You knew I wouldn't ring your bell," he said, raising an eyebrow. "I'd rather not get hexed so early in the day. It would set an unpleasant mood for the rest of the day."

"Why are you here?" I asked him in his pause. He glanced around, and then across the lake at his house before grabbing my arm. "What are you-" I felt the wind knock into me roughly.

The awkward spinning of piggy-backing Apparating is something I will never get used too, that's why I never do it. We landed, myself stumbling over my feet as we did so. I glanced around at a vacant yard and a vast mansion.

"Please tell me this isn't-"

"No," he said quickly, "this is our summer estate."

"Good choice," I said sarcastically. "It isn't summer, or anything."

"Well, I know no one besides a few house-elves are here right now, and they won't say anything if I tell them not to," he snapped, grabbing my arm again and pulling me towards the house.

"I can walk myself, Malfoy," I snarled, wrenching his hand off of me. "I've been doing it for quite some time without a leash."

"Sorry," he said, dropping my arm instantly. I rubbed it moodily, not without his noticing, though. "Did I hurt you?"

"Please," I said with a snort. We walked the rest of the way in silence until we came to a big door. We stood in silence. Finally, when I thought maybe this is what we would be doing for the rest of the day, I said, "I'm sorry, do you have a key?"

"I'm trying to remember the password," he said quietly. "Sal…Sal…Sally." Nothing. "No, that isn't right. Sally…how stupid, um…Sal…Salutations." I glanced at his face, and then the door.

"How about Salazar," I suggested dryly. He turned to give me a look that clearly said, "Are you kidding, as if my father is that unimaginative," but the door swung open before he could say anything to that effect. "Hmm…" I said happily, stepping past him.

The hall was gigantic, with stairs leading down to the main floor, while two side stairs wrapped around in a moon-shape before meeting at the top of the stairs.

"It's smaller than the Manor," he commented as though automatically. I turned to him with my eyebrows raised and he froze. "What?"

"How many girls have you brought here?" I inquired.

"Why?" he asked defensively.

I matched his breezy tone from earlier, "It's smaller than the Manor." I gave him a look and was pleased to see he had colored. "Right, that's what I'm thinking about right now, the size of your house."  
"What are you thinking about, then?" he asked, eyebrow raised.

It was my turn to color. I opened my mouth to say something unbelievably bitchy, but couldn't get the words out. I couldn't say all I could think about was his kisses and how they made me feel as though I was the only person he had ever kissed, ever wanted to kiss for the rest of his life.

Finally, I managed, "Nothing."

He didn't believe me, but pushed the subject no further, to which I was very grateful. I didn't want to blurt out that my heart was beating a mile a minute everytime he glanced my way, or that I was entranced by the slight quirk of his mouth when he was amused. See, I shouldn't even notice stuff like that!

"Let's go into my room," he suggested. Before I could say anything to object that he said, "Just in case." That certainly shut my mouth.

I followed him up the vast stairs to a landing with a giant glass table in the middle of the floor. The flower arrangement was bigger than I had ever seen, adorned with roses and lilies and white daisies. I touched the soft petals of one of the flowers before Cole poked his head from around the corner.

"Come on, then," he beckoned, looking at me oddly. I quickly dropped my hand and followed him down the hall. The walls were filled with pictures of the family on various vacations or at the odd function or two. I nearly missed the last on in the middle, by the bathroom door.

Cole had to be about nine or so, holding a giant fish, a large grin was spread across his face, a tooth missing. I felt myself begin to smile despite myself. Cole poked his head out from his room.

"What are you…" he trailed off and blushed again. "Oh," he said slowly. "Are you coming or not?"

"I didn't take you to be the fishing type," I said conversationally, "well; I didn't think your father would be the fishing type."

"I had to beg him for weeks to bring me," Cole said, turning back to the picture before closing the door. "And then all he did was magic the fish to come to my pole so we could go home."

"Sounds fun," I said sarcastically. I finally registered that we were standing in his summer room. It looked as though this would be the room he slept in, even if it was during the summer.

He seemed to be watching my reaction because he said, "This is more like home to me than the Manor. This is where we stay when I'm back from Hogwarts."

"Oh," I said dumbly, not really having anything to add to that. Silly us, we only had one home in which we lived in.

There was a very long, very awkward silence in which neither of us looked at each other. Part of me could not even believe that I went with him. I should just Appararate home but for some reason I couldn't bring myself too. I wanted to stay because a part of me wanted to know what he had to say.

Finally, he said, "So, are we going to talk about last night?"

"Last night?" I asked, as though I had no idea what he could possibly be talking about. I'm very smooth like that.

He gave me a look and sat down on his bed, still watching me closely. "Yeah, that thing we did in the cloakroom."

I felt my blush start way down at my toes and slowly work its way up to my cheeks and then further up to the roots of my hair. I turned away from him and walked over to the other side of the bed to look out the window.

"That was a mistake," I said carefully. "I was just really upset about my family and…I shouldn't have done that." I forced myself to look at him. He was staring at me strangely. After a moment he got up.

Cole stood in front of me, looking down at me, all the while watching me oddly. I couldn't pinpoint what his expression was.

"So you didn't do it because you really wanted to do it?" he asked in a low voice. I wanted to step back from him and run from the room, but my feet stayed planted firmly on the floor.

"Right," I said, not looking up at him.

"You were just trying to get back at your parents and you figured I would work best because I was a Malfoy?"

I nodded.

I felt him walk away from me, as my eyes were staring at my sneakers. He began pacing back and forth furiously. I closed my eyes and rubbed my brow.

"That was a really awful thing to do," he snapped suddenly. I felt my eyes fly open as I gazed at him in surprise. He looked furious.

"What?" I asked.

He didn't answer me. I couldn't take my eyes from him as he paced back and forth furiously. It seemed as though he couldn't control his actions.

"You know, Roe, you were always kind of a bitch, I just never thought you'd be cruel," he said softly.

"Excuse me?" I asked, flabbergasted. He looked up at me and scoffed, as though I knew what he was talking about but was being decidedly stupid.

"As if you don't know," he snapped. "I've never kept it a secret, have I?" I finally understood what he was trying to say.

"Cole," I started, feeling my bottom lip begin to shake. This was always a bad sign. It meant I was going to cry very, very soon. "I don't know what to say. I'm sorry." He laughed bitterly. "I am! You have no idea how sorry I am."

"Yeah, well," he said. I don't think he really cared how sorry I was. "Roe, I like you a lot." I froze. "I mean, I've always liked you." He met my eyes and I couldn't force myself to drop them. I was stuck staring back at him. "And, at the risk of sounding like a girl, I thought last night meant you like me, too."

I finally regained control of my feet. They moved towards Cole slowly, coming to stand mere centimeters from his own feet. I put my hands on his arms and stood on my tip-toes to kiss his lips.

He pushed me back from him. "What the hell is your problem?" he growled. "Did you have another fight with your parents?"

"No," I said. I touched his arm, only to wince when he yanked it away from my reach. "Cole…I…" I couldn't form the right words. My bottom lip was now shaking harder and I had to fight to remain calm. There was already a sharp prick in the back of my eye where tears were preparing for departure. "I do like you," I finally managed.

He didn't believe me. I was getting slightly desperate to finally get it out. It was always something that sat on me heavily. I could hardly date anyone because all I could picture was Cole. What was worst was I couldn't tell anyone how I felt. My friends would think it was weird that he was _Malfoy_, the arrogant stuck-up jerk from Slytherin and my family…My family would kill me. Their first thought would be to ostracize me, but alas, they've already done that.

"Yeah, right," he said, trying to back away from me, but his back hit the wall and he was forced to stand there as I got closer.

"I do," I snapped. "I like you a lot."

"You've got a screwy way of showing it," he snapped. I nodded in agreement. He frowned at me. "You hate me."

"No I don't," I said, now coming closer to him. "I only act that way because you're annoying as hell."

"Oh, thanks," he said sarcastically.

"But," I amended, "you're also very sweet to me. And I very much like how sweet you are."

We stood staring at each other, unable to do or say much else. I came closer still and he kissed me. He moved me until we got to the bed. I allowed myself to fall into it. My head hit against the blue quilt softly. His legs dangled off of the bed slight, our feet twisted together.

I managed to force the still evident guilty thoughts from my mind as I thought about my parent's reaction if they ever found out what I was doing. However, the guilty feelings were ebbing away until they were a small whisper, barely audible as Cole kissed me again.

My parents hardly ever noticed what I was doing so I'm sure I could walk Cole into my bedroom, announce we would be shagging for the rest of the afternoon, and keep my door open while doing it. Even then, I'm sure my parents would hardly notice.

Sure, Elizabeth would have a conniption because this was Malfoy and Potters do not associate with Malfoys, or so she told me my first day at Hogwarts.

In fact, thinking back to it, she even picked Cole through a crowd and showed him to me. I remember because I recognized him from various things our parents attended and that fateful day I said I loved him, before I knew he was a Malfoy, of course.

"See?" Elizabeth said, grabbing my shoulder and turning me to see him standing by what I assumed (now knew) were his parents.

"So what?" I had asked, completely confused about what she was talking about. I had always figured Elizabeth was a Chaser short of a perfect Quidditch game, but she seemed dead right serious about this.

"He's a Malfoy, Roe," she informed me.

"And, still, I'm not sure what you're talking about." My irritation must have radiated out and enveloped her, because the next thing I knew she was no longer speaking to me civilly.

"Listen," she barked. "Dad and mum are too 'whatever' about this type of thing. They would absolutely die if you were to befriend a Malfoy. They were on the other side of the War, don't forget that. The Malfoy's are known Death Eaters!"

"Yeah, but the War is over," I reminded her.

"Doesn't matter, Roe!" she snapped. "If there was a War still going on then he would be joining the Death Eaters as quickly as he could. They are not a good lot to be hanging around with. Mum and dad told me on my first day and now I'm telling you."

"Mum and dad did not tell you on your first day," I snapped, not believing her for a second. Dad was not the type of person to do that, to restrict who his children could be friends with.

"He didn't exactly tell me," Elizabeth amended quickly, "but he did remind me what side I'm on. Just because Voldemort is gone doesn't mean there won't be Dark Magic and those who think they can be him. The Malfoy's are a bad family, Roe, and hanging around with them will only make you bad as well."

"Dad said he and Mr. Malfoy came to an agreement during the last War," I said, looking at Cole, who had grown since I last saw him.

"Sure they did, you need to in a War. And it was only because dad was going to kill Mr. Malfoy if he didn't go along with it."

I was still hesitant to believe that all Malfoy's were bad.

I didn't believe her until I was reintroduced to Cole that day on the train. We already had a mutual understanding that at the few functions we attended we would talk because it was either stand alone or converse with our family.

As soon as we met on the train his face twisted into a sneer and he said the rudest thing to me, though I can't quite recall what it was; only that it really upset me at the time. After that I wasn't really too fond of him and was quite happy to forget all about him. However, over the summer of our First Year into our Second Year he seemed to have developed a crush for me. I was quite disconcerted seeing as he was constantly being a little prick to me. Oh, and he was so arrogant that it drove me insane. I just wanted to tell him his parents hated him and they secretly moved away so he couldn't find them, just to see if he would cry. But, I controlled myself.

Though, when his arrogance got so out of control in third year that it caused me to aim a Bludger right at his head, the "sexual tension" (though I guess I didn't know what it was until Sixth Year) erupted. I maintained it was an accident, that he's so stupid he flew right into the Bludger. He withheld the fact that we had been bickering up in the sky and I got so furious with him that I actually held the bludger as still as I could and smacked it in his direction with all I had. "Sheer bad luck" I maintained as McGonogall yelled herself hoarse at me.

I think I really realized that I had a small, nearly invisible crush on him when, in Fourth Year, he started going out with that idiot Rebecca Swallows. I mean, what kind of a name is Swallows? And, she's a slut, so it's annoying irony.

I saw them in the Great Hall, kissing before a Hogsmede visit and I clenched onto Demi's arm so hard, as I had been holding onto it to help her up (there had been a big snowstorm and someone tracked in snow and made the floors like an ice rink), that she let out a giant scream and threw my hand off of her. (There was a giant bruise the next day.)

I tried to deny it throughout the rest of the year but I could barely look at him without blushing. I had always been rather civil to him; I had never come right out and been a bitch to him in Fourth Year. That wasn't until Fifth Year, when I think he began to catch on.

To hide my crush, as I feared it must be evident on my face, I took to acting annoyed by him at all times. Some of the times I didn't have to act, as he was a bit annoying, but most of the time I was relatively pleased that he took special notice of me. I knew he had a huge crush on me, and he even asked me out once. However, I was surrounded by my brother and Demi and couldn't very well start jumping around in a blissful fit. I had to put on my best disgusted face and say, "I'd rather not, thanks, though."

He was a bit put off the first time but then he continued to do it as the year went on. We were now in our Fifth Year and I was getting asked out by him almost everyday. I declined every time, though it pained me to do so. I wanted to say yes so badly that I almost asked him to ask me in private and then maybe I'd say yes.

I nearly lost my cool completely when, at a party for the Ministry, he was there with some idiot Fourth Year who I knew he was shagging.

He came up to me and caught me off guard. We exchanged a few angry words and then I walked past him, my heart beating and he caught my arm. I almost slapped him in the face but his words caused me to freeze.

He said he noticed the way I would look at him when I thought no one else was looking. I was mortified because it was true. In class when everyone else was slaving away with their work (and I was already done, depending on the class) I would gaze at him until I felt I was drawing attention and then I would either drop my gaze or act as though I was looking at the wall.

"I do not!" I objected immediately, hoping I sounded convincing. He raised an eyebrow at me and I felt myself flare up with anger. I was furious at him for making me sound so stupid and angry at myself for getting caught. "I understand that with your narcissistic tendencies you think everyone is paying attention to you at all times, but I have better things to do."

I was horrified, my entire cover, nearly five years of work was gone! It was all useless seeing as he was almost positive I had a crush on him and he had a crush on me. I didn't leave my father's side the rest of the night. Let him try and talk to me then, I decided. The rest of the night Cole, and the Fourth Year, snogged and groped off to the side. I noticed, with a sickening sensation in my stomach, that he hardly broke eye contact with me as he did it, as though it were to hurt me. It did hurt me, so I guess it worked.

Demi, my best friend in the entire world, doesn't even have a clue, that's how well I hid it. When I was dating Michael she thought I was head-over-heels for him, which was laughable. I couldn't stand him. At first I thought he was kind of smart, sort of nice and a little cute. I then came to see him as stupid, petty and ugly.

What was worse was that everyone said we were perfect together. I would fight the urge to roll my eyes because I knew for a fact that he was stuck up and so stupid it nearly killed me. I wanted nothing more than to kick him in his balls just so he would stop thinking about shagging me. It got to the point where whenever he would lean in to kiss me I would duck out of his way or pretend I was sick.

I searched in vain for a proper way to break up with him. I couldn't very well say, "I want to fucking puke everytime you come near me!" He was Quidditch captain, for Merlin's sake. It was almost a blessing when I found out he was sleeping with another girl in my dorm. I wanted to kiss her. When he told me, I laughed out loud and then slapped him in the face. You know, I hated him but he was a prick for sneaking around behind my back.

I remember that after Michael and I broke up Cole stopped sleeping around and dating other girls. I never associated it with me. I always figured he finally caught something from one of the girls he went around with and his dick had finally fallen off.

A part of me saw the way he began watching me as we passed between classes. I would keep my head looking straight ahead but I could feel his eyes on me as our arms brushed past each other. He always sought me out and then walked as close as he could before I whipped around and glared at him.

I really did want to date him, to be with him. But I couldn't help that feeling that he only wanted me because he couldn't have me. I thought that he was trying so hard because he was a spoiled brat and I was the only person who ever said no. I figured that if I said yes then he would stop asking me because he got what he wanted, so I continued to say no because then I knew he still wanted me.

Last night was a mistake because and as much as I like him I am afraid of him. He has the power to break me and I do not want him of all people to have that power. He's fickle and he sleeps around with various other girls…well, he did. I don't want to be another girl who thought I meant something more than I did. I don't want to wake up one morning and find myself the center of a gossip ring in which everyone knows I slept with Cole.

My thoughts surge back to the train just before we got off for the summer. My bag ripped and I was one of the last off the train. I took out my wand and magicked everything back into the mended bag. I had turned seventeen in May and was happily using my magic every opportunity I had.

As I left my compartment I came face to face (well, face to chest) with Cole. He looked down at me with an amused expression.

"What are you doing staying behind, eh?" he asked, his eyes searching mine as though looking for the truth if I lied.

"My bag ripped," I mumbled, trying to get past him. "Excuse me." He still didn't budge. I growled in annoyance and looked up at him. "Move, will you?"

He stepped aside and as I went to walk past him he nudged me and I stumbled into the wall, my back flat against it. He face came really close to mine and my heart began to beat a mile a minute. His nose rubbed up against mine and his lips brushed against mine, not touching them. I felt as though I were on fire.

"If you ever change your mind, Roe, you know where to find me." His index finger rubbed up against my cheek. I almost leaned in and kissed him, but couldn't.

As suddenly as he began he stopped and pulled back, watching my expression carefully. He smirked at me and made a motion with his hand.

"There you go." He walked past me, forcing me to follow him the entire way out. As soon as we reached the platform he turned to me with a satisfied smile and walked over to his parents, who were eying him carefully.

"What were you doing with that Malfoy boy?" dad asked me, shouldering my bag whilst still glaring at the Malfoys. I felt that stupid dreamy smile on my face.

"My bag ripped. He helped me fix it," I said goofily. Dad looked down at me, his expression searching. My smile disappeared from my face and I cleared my throat. "Let's get going, shall we?"

My father and I walked the rest of the way in silence until we got to his muggle car, a gift from my grandfather. Apparently it brought back fond memories of school. The light blue car sat in the parking lot, shining in the sunlight. I got in and refused to look at my dad, as I knew he would be able to tell I wasn't saying something I should be.

"You know, Roe," he began tentatively, "the Malfoys say that they've changed and they act as though they've changed, but we can't trust them. It's true that I made my peace with Draco Malfoy, but it doesn't mean he's trustworthy. As long as the memory of Voldemort is alive then there will be those who will want him back. As much as I believe Draco is on our side, his son is in Slytherin. He could be persuaded by the other side. Hell, even Draco might again, we don't know. That's why it's better if we pretend each other doesn't exist."

Still I was silent. It was at that moment I realized Elizabeth had been right. If I were to date Malfoy it would surely drive my parents completely mad. I didn't let on to my father that he had just given me the perfect ammunition.

"Alright, daddy," I said in my best daughter's voice. "I don't want to associate with a Malfoy, anyways. I really did rip my bag."

"Oh," dad said, a bit put off, "alright, then. How was school?"

I told him about my Sixth Year. I left out the parts about the cheating boyfriend and the constant proposals from Malfoy. I also didn't tell him that I couldn't think about anything but Malfoy and the idea of an entire summer without his face was killing me. Best to keep that to myself, I decided. I

I felt like I was an actress, a liar. When I was alone I could be me, Roe Potter, the girl who had the chance to embarrass her family…who sometimes wanted too. But as soon as someone else walked into the room I was Roe Potter, happy, sixteen, perfect. That Roe Potter would never think of dating a Malfoy. She would never dare go against her parents' wishes. She would never shag Malfoy in a coatroom in the middle of a Ministry ball. That's why I loved her. Her life was uncomplicated, but she wasn't me.

Now, as I gazed at Cole, I smiled to myself. He kissed me again and pulled my shirt over my head. His hands undid the clasp to my bra and that too found itself flying across the room. I knew I should be bright as a light at this point, but it wasn't embarrassing to me.

This thing I was doing with Cole felt right, as if I were born to be with him. And maybe I was, I suppose. Who knows? Maybe I'm destined to be the mother of his children so that we can bring forth the smartest witch in history. Suppose I'm supposed to be there for him so he doesn't turn evil (or whatever is the excuse why I can't be with him). Perhaps we're supposed to be together because we're perfect for each other.

My family means well, but in their effort at obtaining the perfect children they've left behind their youngest daughter. I know that they probably can't help fawning all over the twins. I mean, if I had kids like Elizabeth and James, I'd want them to make something of themselves as well. I think my parents take for granted that I'm obedient (well, was) and that no matter how much they hurt me, or how much they make me angry I am always forgiving. My parents think that no matter what they do to me I'll turn out perfect, just like Elizabeth.

Cole's father wants him to be something he isn't. He wants Cole to be this big important person while Cole wants to remain who he is. He doesn't want to be his father.

That's why I really think I can relate to Malfoy. Our families think we're something we're not and they want us to be something we're not. The idea of following in Elizabeth's footsteps makes me sick to my stomach. I want something for myself more than what my parents dreamed for me. I want to make them proud in my own way, not a second-hand, less pretty version of Elizabeth.

No one around me can relate, well, maybe my mom and uncles but that would involve telling them how I feel. Everyone, except my parents, in the Weasley family had just one child. And, as though making up for the hundred years in which there were so many boys, they were all girls, except Ron and Hermione who had a boy and a girl. When my mother got pregnant the first time everyone assumed it would be girls. First came Elizabeth, then James. My parents had planned on Elizabeth and Margret. However, when they saw that it was a boy they couldn't resist naming him James. So, they had Elizabeth Margret and James Evan Arthur Potter. Elizabeth was dad's mother's middle name and Margret after mum's mum. So, out of seven children there were only two boys. John, my cousin, is loved because he is the only one who will carry on the Weasley name and James is adored because he will be the only one to carry out the Potter name.

Like I was saying, all my cousins, except two, are only children and do not know what it's like to fight tooth and nail for attention. Even Demi is an only child, and she came as a blessing to her parents (who were twenty-nine and thirty-nine at the time) that even if she had other siblings she would still be their favorite because it melded their relationship together. Or something like that. That's what she says, and she's a die-hard romantic, so it doesn't really count.

Cole looked at me, pulling back from a kiss to stare into my eyes. I suddenly felt exposed, though I was still partially covered from him. I gave him a small smile and lifted my head to kiss him.

I gripped onto his hair when his kisses made their way to my neck. I wrapped my legs around him and yanked his shirt off. He seemed determined to put as little space between us as possible. I wasn't complaining, though. It felt unbelievably nice to be pressed against him.

Soon there was nothing in between us, to stop us from doing what we were going to do. He nudged my nose and I nodded, unable to do much more.

It felt different than last night. Last night I was so angry I could hardly comprehend what I was doing. I had just wanted to hurt my parents and I figured a Malfoy taking my virginity was the perfect candidate. Now, however, I was conscience of every touch, of every kiss.

I push him further into me, wanting him to fill me as much as possible. His hands are on my head, pushing the loose strands from away from my face. I can barely keep my eyes open. I just want to lay back and let the feel of his skin pressed against me wash over me, but I can't. I force myself to move as he moves and to kiss when he kisses.

I grip onto him tightly, a small noise escaping my mouth as my orgasm washes over me. It certainly did not feel like that last night.

It seems to trigger his because a moment later we're still on the bed, neither of us having much energy to move. It feels as though my arms weigh a thousand tons as I bring my hand up to his hair and sweep it back from his eyes.

He grins at me and then kisses me again. It's gentle and loving. I want to stay right here on the bed, with our feet intertwined and our bodies pressed together, for the rest of my life. At this point, I don't care if my entire family came in to watch us. I don't care if the entire student body was crammed into his room watching us. It didn't matter to me anymore.

He pulled back and got up, tugging me up until my head rested against the pillows. Then he came to lie next to me, our arms touching. I roll over so that our chests are pressed against eachother's and my head rests against his neck.

"So," I begin cautiously, "what are we?"

"Human beings," he answers promptly. I do not give him the satisfaction of an exasperated remark.

"No, I mean relationship-wise, what are we?" I held my breath. I feared for one instant that he would reply we were nothing, just shag partners.

"We're dating, right?" he asked. "We're certainly shagging, I think. We've done it twice now, so I think we can say we're shagging."

"Right," I said hurriedly, wanting to return to the actual "relationship" stuff. "Are we boyfriend and girlfriend?"

"I think so, don't you?" he asked. I smiled into his chest.

"Yeah."

I felt deliriously happy. It was as if everything had been working up to that one moment. Six years (almost) of untouchable sexual tension had finally erupted into actual sex. We were perfect for each other in almost everyway.

A while later, after we dressed and lay back down on the bed, I finally realized that I had been there for some time.

"What time is it?" I asked lazily. He picked up the watch on his bedside table and peered at it.

"Three-fifty," he said.

I sat up slowly, my heart pounding wildly in my chest. "Shit," I whispered, hopping off the bed and tugging on my shoes. "I have to go. I was supposed to be home two hours ago."

My parents must be going insane wondering where I am. Or, perhaps, this was one of the times they didn't even realize I was not with them. For the first time I wish they had just left and not looked around to see if there were three heads as opposed to two.

Cole gets up with me and gives one last kiss before I break away from him and leave with a soft pop. When my feet hit the ground I am standing where I was when Cole whisked me away. How long ago it seemed it was, as if it was years rather than hours.

I cautiously push the door open and glance around the living room. No one seems to be home and for a second I am grateful.

"Where have you been?"

I wince and turn to see my sister, hands on her hips, looking at me as though poised to jump and tear flesh.

"Mum and dad are about to have kittens! They thought you were kidnapped or something. Luckily, I lied for you and told them you were at Demi's. But you weren't there, were you?" Her eyes narrow. "I flooed her after mum and dad and James left and asked if she had heard from you. She hadn't."

"I can explain-"

"You were with a boy, weren't you?" she snapped. I can't quite manage to meet her eye. I would rather this be mum, hell even dad, rather than Elizabeth. Weakly, I nod. "Who was it?" she snapped.

"Michael," I lied easily.

"I thought you broke up?"

"We got back together," I explain, hesitating and then raising my eyes to meet hers. "I guess I really lost track of time."

"Well, come on," Elizabeth says, "I'll fix your hair and makeup so you don't look so sexed-up."

My eyes widen in shock. I am half expecting her to start shouting for our mother and father. Though, I really shouldn't be so surprised. My entire family loved Michael. When I informed them that we broke up they acted as though I said I killed him. Part of me thought that they would rather it be me that left their lives rather than Michael.

I am led into Elizabeth's room, a virtual first from me. She won't allow me in her room, as though I'm going to start knocking things over and spewing blood on her walls, or something. She sits me down in front of the vanity and pulls my hair out of my loose braid and slowly brushes it out.

"I am so happy you and Michael are giving it another go," she said softly, brushing my hair tenderly. "He was so sweet." I don't tell her he cheated on me or that I heard he couldn't shag for longer than a second. "And hot." I almost roll my eyes. He was so damn stupid any cuteness he had couldn't fix the stupid.

"What will I tell mum and dad?" I ask, still disbelieving. Elizabeth is being so nice to me that I am kind of suspicious she is no longer human.

"You leave them to me," she responds immediately. "Don't worry about them." She does my hair in a loose braid and throws it over my left shoulder. She suddenly gives a small laugh.

"What?"

"Nothing," she says, but sighs at my face. "It's just that for a second I was sure you were with Cole Malfoy." My stomach falls to my feet.

"Why would you think that?"

"Well, James saw you talking to him last night. Apparently you two were down by the lake and seemed pretty chummy."

"What does James know?" I asked in an airy voice. "He doesn't know a hostile conversation from a friendly one, probably why he still can't hold a girlfriend."

"Right," Elizabeth says with another laugh. "I am so relieved though." She tenderly touches my hair once more before smiling brightly at me. "Let's go. Mum and dad will flip out even more if I don't get you there soon."

I watched Elizabeth disappear with a pop and let out a giant, shaky breath. I was sure I had been busted. I closed my eyes and thought of my grandmother's living room at the Burrow.

I already couldn't wait to see Cole again.

A/N Read and review, please.


	3. Chapter 3

After Elizabeth "covered" for me (she told my parents I fell asleep reading in a meadow. Um, maybe I'm the only one who sees a problem with this, but no one else seemed to. My parents actually believed her. I was a bit put off by it, actually.) I hurriedly went upstairs to mum's old room where Demi was waiting for me, about to bust out of her skin it looked like. Did I mention that Demi was Demi Lupin, the only daughter of Tonks and Remus?

"Where the bloody fuck have you been?" she hissed at me as soon as the door closed over. She was a romantic but she had the bloody mouth of a sailor.

"I was 'reading' apparently," I said sarcastically. She eyed me critically and then frowned furiously.

"Well, I nearly shit myself when Elizabeth showed up at my house asking where you were! My mother nearly hexed my arse thinking I was covering for you or something!"

"What did you tell Elizabeth?" I asked, curiously.

"That you told me to cover for you in case anyone came looking for you," she said, tugging on her hair nervously. "I just figured you were going to get high or rob the Ministry or something! Where were you really?"

"Don't get mad," I instructed.

"You weren't shagging Frank, were you?" she asked instantly.

I made a face. Frank Longbottom, her boyfriend, was incredibly sweet and very smart, but was completely geeky. Not to mention every time he put a wand in his hand someone ended up with antlers.

"Um, no, I wasn't shagging _Frank_," I said cautiously, waiting for her to catch on. She suddenly gasped and held her hand to her mouth.

"You were shagging someone?" she asked. I nodded weakly and collapsed onto the bed. I was unsure of what her reaction was going to be. "Who was it?" She let out a groan. "So help me if you say it was the twat, Michael-"

"Please," I said with distaste. "Though, my sister thinks that's who it was. Anyways, I heard from Bree that he can't shag for longer than a second." Demi grimaced, but didn't let me off the hook that easily.

"So, tell me, who was it, and why wasn't I clued into this so much sooner?" She sat down on the bed, her big eyes looking at me with rabid interest. I sucked in a deep breath.

"Colemalfoy," I said in one word. There was a predictable silence in which she digested this. I knew immediately that she heard me.

"Holy shit," she said finally. "Wow…I mean…holy fucking shit!"

"Is that a good holy shit or a bad holy shit?"

"It's just holy shit for the moment," she said, shaking her head as though to get water from her ears. "Malfoy? You shagged Malfoy?"

"Yeah?" I said uncertainly. She sighed heavily.

"Really? This isn't one of your jokes, is it?" she asked, almost hopefully. I shook my head no and continued to wait for her reaction. She seemed a bit stunned, not that I could blame her. If she had told me she had shagged say, Bran Montgomery, this really stuck-up Ravenclaw I would have been a bit shocked. "Jesus Christ!"

I winced. When she began using muggle terms I knew I was a bit screwed. She ran a hand through her hair and gave a growl of annoyance when it changed to a bright pink.

"Fucking thing!" she growled, meaning her powers, which she never got control over. Tonks said she gained control at four, but Demi never quite got on with it. She seemed to like it sprouting up.

Her face twisted and her hair turned back to its natural sandy brown. She glared up at it for a moment before turning to face me.

"Malfoy? Oh, Jesus, really?"

"Yes," I said, biting on one of my nails.

"Don't bite your nails," she admonished. "I just…how the fuck did this happen, anyways?"

"Well, last night-"

"You did it last night?"

"Yeah, that's when we first did it."

"Where?"

"At the Ministry ball," I explained. Her eyebrows disappeared beneath her fringe. She let out a whistle.

"I knew I should have gone to that!" She shook her head in disappointment. "Wait a minute, back up! You did it in the middle of the Ball?"

"No," I snapped, "in a coatroom."

"Right, that's so much better," she muttered. "Ok, alright, now tell me why you did it. You know, just so I can try and wrap my head around this."

"Well," I began slowly, not quite making eye contact with her, "my parents and siblings had a picture taken of them and I wasn't in it. It was for the Daily Prophet. 'Up close and personal with the Potter Family' I think they called it."

"Son of a bitch!" she snapped. "I love your parents but they're a bit stupid, aren't they?" She shook her head and began tugging on a strand of it nervously. "I mean, wouldn't they think you might see that and be all, 'Hey, where the fuck am I?'"

"You would think so," I admitted, "but probably not."

"So you shagged Malfoy because of that?" she asked. I nodded guiltily and felt my head hang down in what I assumed was a good impression of shame. "What is that?" she asked suddenly.

"What?"

"That smug little look on your face?" she asked, smirking at it. "Oh, Merlin! You didn't shag Malfoy, you're _shagging_ Malfoy!"

"Shh!" I hissed desperately.

She rolled her eyes. "I cast a Silencing Charm the moment you walked in here," she snapped. "I can do wandless magic now, remember?"

"Right." I still hadn't yet mastered it perfectly. I nearly failed D.A.D.A. because of it. It didn't help that Cole was in my class and insisted he and his partner be right next to me. I could barely concentrate with him so close I could smell his aftershave. Demi only got the hang of it because she would hex Cole and make it look like his partner was doing it.

"I can't believe you finally did something about it," she said, as though in awe. She was now staring at me oddly. I was frozen at her words.

"What do you mean I finally-"

"Oh, please," Demi snapped, rolling her eyes. "You think I haven't noticed? Me, of all people, your best mate, wouldn't be able to see when you were in love?"

"But…"

"You just had this look whenever he came near. It looked like your entire face brightened as soon as he got in a room."

"How long have you known?" I asked weakly.

"Middle of fourth year…no, wait, end of Third Year," she replied, scrunching up her face in thought.

"Why didn't you say anything to me?" I asked furiously. My voice came out louder than I thought it would and seemed to frighten her because she jumped back. "Do you know how hard it was keeping that in for such a long time?"

"Well, I didn't think you wanted anyone to know! I wasn't going to embarrass you with it, Roe!"

"But, jeez!" I said exasperatedly. "At least I could have talked to someone about it! I wouldn't walk around with this giant weight on my shoulders all the time."

"I'm sorry! I just thought it was an embarrassing crush at first and then when you still didn't say anything I figured you either didn't want me to know or you were trying to ignore it. How was I supposed to bring it up? You always acted like a bitch when he was around that I was sure you would have just covered it up."

"If you brought it up then I would have known you knew that way I could tell you about it!"

"How was I supposed to know?" she cried.

"I don't know!" I cried back. We fell silent.

"Well…tell me now," she said, sitting back down on the bed. Her eyes were big and round with curiosity and understanding that I wanted to cry.

I told her everything, well, almost everything. I left out all the gross details about the actual shagging part, but I did let her know some of the stuff she wanted to know. She seemed quite pleased with most of it.

"So this morning you were…"

"At his summer house-"

"Shagging."

"Yes, shagging," I said, blushing a deep red.

"Did you do it once or more than once?"

"Twice," I said, looking at her curiously. "Why?"

"Just wondering," she said with a casual shrug. Suddenly, she clapped her hands together and got a huge smile on her face. "You know what this means, don't you?"

"What?" I asked.

"Now we're both shagging! We can compare and make notes!" She looked so excited about it I hardly had the heart to tell her I didn't want to hear about her and Frank shagging.

"But, you've been shagging for a while now," I said, trying to get her mind away from that idea. She rolled her eyes.

"Only two years," she replied.

"Oh, only two years!"

"Yes, and I'm almost positive that first year didn't even count," she said, thinking about it quickly before nodding. "Yeah, I don't think that can really count as shagging. More like awkward bumping."

I made a face of disgust. "Please don't ever say anything like again. Ever. Please!" She gave me a look.

Don't get me wrong, I love Frank. I love the idea of them together. He is the sweetest person in the entire world and the entire time I was with Michael I was constantly wishing he would say one of the nice things Frank says to Demi. It's just that I've known them both since we were babies and the idea of the two of them shagging is weird for me. It's like hearing my brother and sister—I'm stopping right there.

"Oh, you know you're curious," she said knowingly. "And when you're mature enough to handle it, I'll tell you." I rolled my eyes.

I was kind of grateful she and Frank had been shagging for some time now. It still freaked me out a little, but now I had someone to go to with my problems or questions. I couldn't very well go to Elizabeth, even if she was a nice person she was a self-proclaimed virgin. The next possible person I could go to would be James, and really, is he the person I want giving me dating advice?

"If I have any questions I'll come to you," I promised. "Who did you go to, by the way?" I had always wondered that, seeing as she had no older sisters or more experienced friends.

"My mum," she said as though I were mad.

"I'm sorry, I thought I just heard you say your mum," I spluttered.

"Well, who else was I going to go to? I don't have an older sister like you and I wanted to make sure I didn't fuck up and get pregnant or something. Also, with my parent's knowing I didn't have to sneak around." She gave me a pointed look. "They said they wished I would wait longer, but if I was really sure that I wanted to shag with Frank, they weren't going to stop me. They said they appreciated my honesty and respected that I wanted to be safe about it. My mum showed me how to do the Contraceptive Charm."

I love her parents. They're my godparents. You can tell them anything and they'll listen to you calmly and wouldn't dream of jumping down your throat or cutting you off or hexing you until you begged for mercy.

"You did do a Contraceptive Charm…didn't you?" she asked hurriedly. I glanced at her worried face and almost laughed.

"Of course I did! I wasn't stupid!" Well, last night I told him I didn't know how to do one so he did it last night and again this afternoon.

There was a knock on the door and both of us freeze. I love Demi, but there is a good chance her wandless magic didn't work and then I'm screwed and she's screwed because she knew about it and was going to cover for me.

"Yeah?" I asked. The door opened to reveal my mother, looking very sheepish about something. For a moment I thought she heard us. "Yeah, mum?"

"We're having dinner about something. You two should get down there before there aren't any seats left."

We followed her down the stairs. Whatever she looked sheepish about I wasn't sure, but she didn't say anything and I sure as hell wasn't going to bring it up. If she heard us she was choosing to be silent about it and I did not want her screaming at me in front of everyone.

I took a seat next to Elizabeth and Demi. My sister gave me a twinkling smile and passed me the gravy. I nearly made a face at her, but thought the better of it. I didn't want her throwing food at me.

I glanced around the table at my family. I won't go into a monstrosity of a description but I will list everyone at the table (just so there is a sense of what a Weasley dinner looks like).

There was Bill and Fleur and their daughter Chloe, then Charlie and his wife, Rachel with their daughter Emily, then Percy and Penelope and their daughter Paige. In the center of the table was Fred with Angelina and their daughter, Jane, then George and Alicia and their daughter Rebecca. Towards the end of the table sat Ron and Hermione with their two kids, John and Annie. Then my grandmother at the head of the table and then Demi, me, Elizabeth, mum, dad, James, Remus, Tonks and then grandpa at the other head of the table.

By the way, did I happen to mention that all of them are the same age? There was period of time, between February 24 and April 17 in which all of them, save for me, was born. Chloe was first, then Elizabeth and James, followed by Emily and then Rebecca and Jane (who were born on the same day) and then John and Annie ending with Paige.

I am the youngest cousin because everyone got knocked up—excuse me, pregnant, at exactly the same time! Come on! I can't catch a break for anything!

And even though no one has ever said it, I can totally tell I must have been a mistake. I just know it. There is no way my parents decided to have another child after Elizabeth and James. Why would they need anymore children after Elizabeth? She stands alone.

I have a theory, that I've only shared with Demi, that if James had been Margaret, he would be me and I wouldn't be here at all. Elizabeth is overtly competitive and would have probably killed the sister in the womb, or would have made her life here on Earth hell. I'm absolutely sure it would be Good Twin/Evil Twin.

Finally, next to my dad are Tonks and Remus. They're basically family. They've been coming to everything since my dad's Sixth Year. It would be laughable if they didn't come to a Weasley dinner.

Dinner goes smoothly, it's what happened afterwards that made me want to go crawl in a hole and die. I suppose I should have been aware my family would be curious as to why Michael and I broke up. I just didn't think it was going to be as big of a deal as it was.

"Roe, we were so sorry to hear you and Michael broke up," grandma says as we settle down on the couch for a bit of a chat. "Do you mind if I ask why?"

"We had a fight," I reply, sipping some coffee. I'm really not too keen to broach onto the subject of Michael while Elizabeth is twisting her fingers with her lips clenched tight as though she's going to tell on me any moment.

"Well, darling, people fight, that's no reason to break up with someone!" grandma says, looking quite surprised. "What was the fight about?"

I am silent. I can't tell her what the fight was really about, because people do not say such things to their grandmothers. What was our big fight about? Blowjobs. The last thing Michael and I ever fought about as a couple was blowjobs.

See, he had a problem with the number of blowjobs he received. He seemed to think that if I wasn't going to shag him then I should be giving him blowjobs on the hour. I couldn't possibly give him more than one blowjob a month. I found it so hilarious that I could barely stand to hear the zipper of his pants go down before I was dissolved in giggles. I needed that break in time to forget what happened the last time I did it.

The first time he wanted one I was all too happy to oblige. I didn't want him poking around me with it, so I figured I could give him one. It was at this point that I was still trying to please him. He had met my parents and they had fallen in love with him. It was also at this time that I still wanted to please my parents.

He came up with a compromise for me (which the stupid prick later broke) that he would stop asking me when we were going to shag, if I gave him a blowjob. Demi had already done it with Frank and said it wasn't that bad. I figured, if Demi could do it then so could I. So, I did it.

Awful would not be the best way to describe it. I suppose on his part he enjoyed it. I barely touched it when he came the first time. He wasn't even embarrassed by it, the narcissistic bastard. I was instructed to wait ten minutes and try again. So I sat there, kneeling on his bed, my bum resting on my feet, my hands folded on my lap as I waited for him to calm down.

In the meantime, he thought I would love to hear all these stories about his summer in Ireland. At first I was very interested (as I still thought I loved him). But, as he went on and on (and a blowjob looked like a perfect out from this torture) I started to get very bored.

It should have been at this point in time that I realized I was dealing with a new brand of human. What kind of person can sit there with their pants pulled down to their knees, their privates sticking out after they prematurely ejaculated and still carry on a conversation? Someone who obviously thinks very highly of themselves.

"Alright," he announced some ten minutes after he finished his twenty minute spiel, "I think you can do it now."

I did and I hated it. It wasn't as if it lasted long or anything, (I was going to guestimate about forty-five seconds at the most) but I was nearly being choked to death the entire time.

After that he was nearly insatiable and was like that for the rest of the year. I wanted to contract a disease that would make it impossible for me to open my mouth, but there were none. I wanted to beg someone to hex me so my mouth stayed shut, but no one would without an explanation.

It was then, in the middle of my Sixth Year, that we finally broke up. We had been going out for two and a half years and I was sick of him. I think it was right after the first blowjob incident that I realized I hated him. I just didn't have the nerve or the motivation to break up with him.

We started bickering as soon as Sixth Year started and on the fateful morning of March the third, we finally split up. Split up isn't even really what you could call it. I felt as though I were let out of blowjob prison after being held for a year without any bail or reprieve.

So, this is what happened. I was sitting in his room that morning trying to study for a test. He said he'd help me because he was a "whiz" in Transfiguration. I knew for a fact he was an average student and was full of shit, but I needed all the help I could get. I didn't pay attention during that lesson. (Cole had just gotten a hair cut and I was transfixed by it. I may sound a bit like a stalker, but I'm not.)

"Well, see you have to wave your arm," Michael instructed, "just like _this_." I frowned at him. I was pretty sure he did it all wrong, but I was now about to run late for a planned meeting with Demi, and I acted as though he was doing it right.

I glanced at my watch and decided I should get going. "Thanks," I said, closing my notes. "I have to go meet Demi. Can we finish this later?" I glanced at him hopefully.

"Um, I guess so," he said. "Wait, give me a kiss."

Reluctantly, I leaned over to give him a quick kiss. I was hoping to do it quick and fast so that my lips missed his, but he grabbed my head and held me in place. Next, his tongue whipped out and started molesting my face and lips.

"Alright…alright," I said, pulling back. "Get off of me!" He stopped kissing me and seemed unfazed by my yelling at him.

"Just one more," he said.

"Quickly," I snapped. I leaned towards his head but he stopped me.

"No," he said, shaking his head, "not there. Here." He pointed at his crotch. I glanced down at it and then back at him. He smirked at me.

I shook my head. "I'm sorry, Michael, I have to meet Demi in five minutes." Which, really, is about perfect timing because I could have given him the blowjob and then had the four and a half minutes to get to our meeting spot.

He angrily pushed me back. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes as he began to pout. Sometimes it felt as though I were with a child who I was constantly cooing on and giving unearned compliments.

"You always have an excuse," he muttered.

"Well, I'm sorry my life doesn't revolve around you, Michael—"

"Well, it should, Rosemary!" That was something else that bugged me. He insisted on calling me by my full name. It drove me bonkers! I called him Michael because he asked me not to call him Mike or Mick or Mikey. I asked him not to call me Rosemary and he still insists on doing it. If I wasn't a petty little girl I'd be calling him Michael all the time. "I am your boyfriend, after all."

"I know you are," I snapped. "But I told Demi I would meet her at twelve and I'm not going to leave her standing waiting for me while I give you a blowjob, Michael. I'm sorry."

"You don't sound sorry," he said with a dramatic pout.

Yeah, well, that's because I'm not, I almost said as I gathered my things into my bag. He was driving me insane. I wanted to tear his eyes out.

I guess people would be wondering why I stayed with him if I hated him so much. I can't really answer that only that we've been dating since I was in Fourth Year and it would be like I was missing something in my life if he were to leave. Had he not cheated on me I was sure I would have missed him a little bit, but as it was he cheated on me and I just had enough of him.

I got to the door when he said, "Listen, Rosemary, I'm serious. If you don't give me a blowjob then I'll go get it from someone who will give me one."

I turned to him slowly. He was lying on the bed on his back, resting on his elbows giving me this cocky, son of a bitch look as if this was really the persuasion that would change my mind. A part of me wanted to just give him the blowjob so he would leave me alone, but I had a sudden vision of myself. It was in twenty years. I was married to Michael and giving him blowjobs while he treated me as if any other girl on the planet would die to be in my position.

"Well, you do that," I snarled, and slammed the door behind me. I went and met Demi and didn't tell her about our fight. It was just another one in a growing pile of fights. I didn't think this would THE fight, the fight that would end all other fights. I sure as hell didn't think he was actually going to go out and get some other girl to give him a blowjob. And Bree Harris was such a skank she shagged him when they weren't even dating. And, she knew Michael and I had been dating since Fourth Year, she was such a vindictive little slut she went ahead with it.

The next morning as I sat and went over my homework before breakfast, Michael came up to me. He looked a bit sheepish and rather nervous about something as he sat down across from me. I didn't look up from my work, determined to ignore him until he apologized and promised to stop asking me for blowjobs.

"Listen, Rosemary, about what I said last night," he began. Still, I ignored him and continued to scribble along on my parchment. "About getting blowjobs from other people-" I rolled my eyes. Him and his fucking blowjobs! "I just wanted to tell you that I did and I found that—"

"I'm sorry," I said, looking up from my homework. "What did you just say?" I was not sure if I heard right.

"I said that I…was with another girl last night and she—"

"You what?" I asked.

"I shagged someone else last night," he said, as though this was not something I would get angry about. The look on my face must have confused him. "You should be happy! I decided that I still want to be with you, even if you don't want to give me blowjobs—"

I let out a laugh, perhaps to see if he would join in with me and say it was all a big joke. When he didn't, I stopped immediately.

"Are you kidding me?" I asked. "Are you kidding me?" I found my voice rising as I got up. "ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?"

"I thought you would be happy!"

"Happy?" I screamed. "Why would I be happy? You cheated on me!"

"I didn't cheat on you," he snapped. "We were broken up!"

"When were we broken up?"

"Last night I said I was going to go with someone else and you said fine," he said with a shrug. "I'm pretty sure that meant we were broken up."

"No!" I screamed again. "We had a fight! You don't break up with someone just because of a fight!" He seemed to disagree with me. "And certainly not a fight over blowjobs!"

"I clearly told you I was going to find someone who would give me a blowjob, Rosemary and you told me to go do that."

"Oh, my God," I snarled, running a hand through my hair. I was unaware of the crowd we were acquiring. "I don't fucking believe you! Did you honestly think I was telling you to go out and cheat on me?"

"We weren't together anymore—" He broke off as I started to hit him as hard as I could. He shrank back on the couch, apparently unaware that I would get violent.

"So help me, Michael, if you say that one more time!" I warned, giving him one last punch on the arm before running both hands through my hair. This was, at that point in my life, the most ridiculous thing that could have happened to me. "I can't believe you did this to me, you stupid prick!"

"I'm surprised you're surprised!" he snapped.

I turned to him slowly. "Excuse me?"

"This wouldn't have happened if you just gave me more blowjobs, that's all I'm saying."

"So, you wouldn't have cheated on me if I gave you more blowjobs?" I bellowed.

"Right."

"Do you want to know why you didn't get more blowjobs, Michael? I can't give you blowjobs because I can't stand you, Michael!" I snapped, my voice lowering. "The thought of you in my mouth makes me physically sick. I can barely stand to kiss you, let alone go down on you!" I gathered my books and started towards my room. With one last thought, I turned to him. "In case you're wondering, this is us _actually_ breaking up!"

The next day he brought me a giant vase of red roses (apparently, these were my favorite. I supposedly told him when we first started dating. I don't remember this, i.e. it never happened).

"I know you were a little upset yesterday," he said, coming over to me as I sat by the fire. He thrust the vase into my hands. "I thought this might make you feel better. Now, give me a kiss?"

I looked up at him and glared at him. Taking the vase from him I stood up and threw the vase as hard as I could into him. It shattered and he cried out in obvious pain.

"Fuck you!" I cried, sitting back down and going back to my homework. I picked up my quill with a shaking hand. "Go away, Michael. I don't want to talk to you. I have too much homework to do and you showed me the wrong way to do that spell, retard."

"Rosemary—"

"She said she doesn't want to talk to you." I looked up sharply to see Frank's butt in my face. He apparently came to stand in front of me to stop any further assault from Michael. "Now, leave her alone." I turned to Demi to see her looking up with nothing but awe and adoration for Frank.

"Fine," Michael said grumpily. He skulked away and that would be the last time I would hear from him.

Frank sat back down, looking quite in shock. He, too, was surprised that he had stood up and said something to Michael.

"Wow, Frank, that was really cool!" Demi said in awe. "That was such a sweet thing to do."

"Yeah, thanks, Frank," I said, giving him a smile.

"You're welcome," he replied, giving me a comforting smile. "I was getting sick of listening to him speak."

"Come here," Demi said and pulled him in for a kiss. I watched them for a moment, before I had to look away. It was with a sick sense of realization that I realized I was suddenly alone. Michael followed me everywhere and we did everything with each other and now suddenly, I was very much the third wheel.

I realized that I wasted two and a half years of my life-of my prime dating potential, I might add-on such a mindless creep. I should have broken up with him so long ago when I started getting sick and tired of him. I should have realized that if I couldn't stand to touch him, I probably didn't love him.

Word spread around school that we had broken up. It was at this time, as I mentioned earlier, that Cole and his little mindless Fourth Year stopped seeing each other. It was also at this point that his date requests began coming everyday. They also became increasingly harder to say no to, as I was now single and free to do as I wished. But, he was still a Malfoy, and I was at that time willing to oblige with my parent's wishes.

And that is why Michael and I broke up. Because of a blowjob.

"Erm," I say, now avoiding my grandmother's gaze. "It wasn't really a fight. It was just that he was going to be leaving school and I didn't want to hold him down with my being so far away."

"Oh," she looks quite disappointed. She thought I would be the first of her grandchildren to make her a great-grandmother, I can tell. She has this hungry look in her eyes as she gazes at us. James is the least likely; she already knows this, as she has told me on more than one occasion. She sees what my parents ignore: that James is a man-whore. "Maybe you'll make up?" she asks hopefully.

"I don't think so," I answer. "We weren't really working anymore. He was stressed about N.E.W.T.'s and was thinking about jobs. We sort of said some things we can't take back."

"I saw him in the Ministry the other day," Aunt Hermione says, sipping her tea quietly. "He asked about you. He says he hasn't talked to you in quite some time. I told him to give you an owl."

Bloody fucking great, I think to myself. Now that insufferable little prick is going to keep owling me. Of course, Hermione didn't know we were broken up. I hadn't told anyone but my grandparent's and the family I lived with.

"I'm sorry," Aunt Hermione says, "I didn't know you two had broken up. When did you do so?"

"March," I answer.

Her eyes widen. "Oh, such a long time ago!"

Across the room I see Elizabeth twisting in her seat as though she's going to piss her skirt. She keeps catching my eye as if to say, "Can I tell them? Can I tell them? Oh, please, let me tell them!"

I jerk my head no and take a sip of coffee. I hate tea. I know as a Brit this makes me an outcast-leper, but I can't help it. I'll have it occasionally, but never if coffee is served.

The rest of the night everyone talked about their first break-up, if they had one, that is. All of them said it was awful and they felt horrible afterwards. I was confused. I only felt awful because I had wasted my time on him when I could have been with someone else. That someone else would have been Cole, but still.

I constantly think back to the first time he asked me out. What if I had just said yes, taken his hand, and walked away from Demi and James? What would they have done, really? James wouldn't dare tell my parents and Demi can't hate me, we're buddies. Plus, she already knew I had a crush on him.

"She got so angry with me she tried to hex me! McGonagall had a fit!" Uncle Bill said, speaking of his first break-up in Fifth Year. "We both got detention for a month, which made her even angrier." Everyone laughed.

As we got ready to head home Elizabeth came around a corner and yanked me into a closet. I wasn't really too fond of being in a closet, but she stood in front of the door, her arms pushing against the frame to block me from going any further.

"When are you going to tell mum and dad that you're seeing Michael?" she asked, frowning at me.

"I don't know," I said, hoping she would let it drop. "We're taking it slow…very slow. He didn't want me to tell anyone."

She pushed off of the door and gazed at me. Suddenly, her face split into a giant grin. I didn't like it very much, as it reminded me of someone who was about to kill their child, or sister. I very much wanted to ask her to stop it, as I was sure I was witnessing the final spring to snap from her head.

"What the hell are you smiling like that for?"

"It's just so great, Roe!" She clapped her hands together. "And," she went on, much to my horror, "you'll be leaving school in a year. Maybe he'll propose!"

Great, now I was going to have to break up with him for a second time. This was getting a bit ridiculous.

"Maybe," I say, grimacing at the thought. "I hope not, though. I'm too young to be married!"

"Oh, pish posh!" she says. "Engagements last years!" Not any I've heard of, but I don't say this to her. I don't want this conversation continuing longer than it should. As much as I am loving this new, nicer Elizabeth, it comes with fucking Michael, which is just going to get me into trouble. One day Elizabeth is going to slip up and say something to someone and then one of my million family members in the Ministry (where Michael works) is going to see him and ask him about it and then there goes my cover.

"Elizabeth, I'd say no."

She frowns at me. "It was just wistful thinking." She eyes me up and down and then sighs. "I hope he does go back to you, though. You made such a cute couple."

Sure, we were cute but we were a ticking time bomb. I constantly felt as though any moment I was going to whip out my wand and kill him over the smallest things. I was sure he wasn't exactly living it up with me.

It is a bit pathetic, though. How will I ever explain to anyone why we had the initial fight in the first place? I can't exactly say to my parents, "Um, I wouldn't give him a blowjob so he got it from someone else."

Oh, and another thing, he complained about my lack of blowjobs when he never reciprocated in any way! Never. Not once did he ever ask if there was anything he could do for me. He had a one track mind and it all had to do with his penis. Maybe if he had done something for me in a similar way I would have been more willing to give him his damn blowjobs. We'll never know, though. Luckily.

"Elizabeth? Roe? Where have you girls gotten to?" Elizabeth opens the closet door and calls out to our mother.

"Let's go," she says, turning towards me. "Oh, by the way, your secret's safe with me." She winks and walks out, leaving me behind. I give her a thumbs up sign as she retreats and then turn it into a middle finger.

I walk into the living room where everyone is saying their good-byes. This itself lasts about ten minutes. There are a lot of us to be embraced and spoken to: Nine red-headed Weasleys, seven "married-into" Weasleys/Potter, then the ten grandchildren, plus the three Lupins.

As soon as everyone finished with their good-byes, which seemed to take longer this time, I sought out Demi and pulled her aside. We gave each other a look before stepping further away from prying eyes and ears.

"So, if I possibly need an alibi and a Potter shows up looking for me, make up an excuse," I plead, hoping she'll say yes. She gives me a look but nods all the same.

"Fine, but so help me if you actually go missing and I've been saying that you were at my house and you were really dead, then I'm coming to get you and believe me, I will annoy the hell out of you in the after-life."

"I'm counting on it," I say.

"We'll have to start making a plan or something," she says thoughtfully. "A way to let the other know when your family has come looking for you."

"Well, why don't you spend the night tomorrow and we'll think of something then," I suggest. She nods happily.

"My parents shouldn't have a problem with it."

"Great, just owl me with the time."

Every year Demi comes to my house and stays for, like, weeks at a time and then I go to her house and stay for weeks at a time. I much rather go to her house where there are no other siblings and her parents actually stock up with all of my favorite things.

We part and I leave with a pop and arrive in my bedroom. I tumble into bed, the weight of lying so much physically weighing me down. My face sinks into the pillow and just as I'm about to fall asleep there is a knock on my window. I sit up worriedly and see Cole sitting on a broomstick, smiling as if he's pleased with himself.

Quietly, I go to the window and open it. He crawls in and sets his broomstick against my wall. I glare at him.

"What are you doing here?" I hiss.

"I had to tell you something," he says.

"What?" I ask, worried he possibly told his parents and they were on their way to warn my parents. But, all he does was lean in and kiss me. I resist at first, my fear of being caught slightly overwhelming. "We can't do this!" I hiss again, pulling away from him.

"Why not?" he asks, pulling his shirt over his head. It drops onto the floor. I can't help myself as my eyes travel further downwards to his chest.

"How about because my parents and siblings are in the next rooms?" I ask angrily, bringing my eyes back up to meet his eyes. I bend down to pick up his shirt and thrust it at him. "If we get caught they'll kill you."

Despite my obvious disapproval, he nuzzles my neck and I can feel myself start to give in. My room is completely darkened and the only light is from the moonlight as it streams in. Cole kisses my lips softly and is just about to lift my shirt up when there's a knock on the door.

We spring apart quickly and he rushes into my closet. I slam the door over and turn on a light. Just before I opened the door I notice his shirt and quickly shove it under the bed. I turn the door handle, wondering who it could be.

"Oh, hi, Lib," I say. Reluctantly, I step aside so she can enter. I am really infuriated at this point. Seventeen years of being a bitch to me and then all of a sudden she wants to be my best buddy.

"I'm sorry, were you sleeping?"

"Yes," I say quickly.

"Alright, well, I just came to borrow that book," she says and picks it up off the bedside table. She gives me a quick smile and is about to leave when her eyes snap to something across the room. She frowns suddenly. "Hey, whose broom is that?"

I swear, my entire life flashed before me. The irony and cliché of it is overwhelming. She goes over to it and picks it up, looking at it critically.

"I thought you had a gold one."

"It's Demi's," I lie. I'm actually quite good at it. "She left it here the other night. I was supposed to bring it back to her today but I was…"

"Right." She nods and then smiles at me. "Well, good night, Roe Roe." I fight the urge to grimace at the nickname. Once the door is closed again I perform a locking spell and a silencing spell and turn towards the closet.

I open the door and Cole saunters out, a shirt my grandmother made me in his hand. He raises an eyebrow teasingly.

"What is this?" he asks.

"Give that to me." I snatch it from him and throw it back in the closet. "I hope you're happy. We were nearly caught."

"Here, let me make it up to you." He kisses me and runs his hands over my hair. It feels very nice. So much so that I don't object when he lays me down on the bed and removes my shirt. I don't complain for the rest of the night.

We shag again (the third time for that day) and it just seems to get better and better. I could shag Cole for days on end. I also don't think blowjobs will be a problem for us.

"Can I stay?" he asks after we finish and he cleans up.

"Won't your parents wonder where you are?" I ask.

"I told them I was at a friend's house for the night."

"Oh, so you assumed I was going to let you stay?" I asked, trying to act angry. What a pompous bastard. It was kind of sweet, though.

"Well, more like I was hoping I could stay, otherwise I'd have to sleep in a tree or something." He smiles at me. "So, can I stay?"

I bite my lip and nod. He smiles broader and kisses me again.

"Put your boxers back on, though," I say. He raises his eyebrows at me, which I can't see, but I can just tell. It was almost as though I could feel him doing so. "I want to get some sleep tonight," I explain.

"Fine, fine," he grumbles. He puts them on and turns to me. "But, you have to put something on, too, then."

"Fine," I said without complaint and pull on a t-shirt and shorts. "Happy?"

"No," he says with a smile. "I'd rather you wear nothing." I made a face at him as I slid back into bed.

We kiss for a while. I began to feel very sleepy after half an hour, as I suspected he did, as his kisses came less and less and more slow. Finally, his lips stilled on mine and his breathing got heavier. I got closer to him and smiled to myself as I drifted into sleep.

A/N Read and review.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four: Roe Potter, not pictured

The next morning I was unsure why I woke up so early. I didn't realize it was because a certain someone was a bit of a bed hog. Actually, no, that would be putting it lightly. Cole had actually turned over so much that "my side of the bed" was currently one butt cheek on the mattress while both feet were planted firmly on the floor. My neck had an awful crick in it. I rubbed it moodily and glanced at the clock. It was only five in the morning.

"Cole," I hissed, nudging his shoulder. He didn't stir. "Cole." Still, nothing. He was obviously sleeping very soundly.

I dug my feet into the carpet and pushed back with all my might. He moved over slightly, so that I could at least fully get on the bed. I let out a deep breath and glanced over at his side of the bed, which was enough to fit two other people.

With an aggravated sigh I crawled over him and went to sleep on his side, as he rolled over and completely took over where I had been sleeping. I must make a note to talk about bed hogging and the appropriate role of a guest.

I was trying to go back to sleep when I realized that he had pulled the fitted sheet up. It was bunched around my waist. I tried to ignore it and go back to sleep, but I couldn't. I was one of those sleepers. Almost everything had to be perfect or I couldn't sleep.

I rolled out of bed and tugged on the sheet, drying to drag it out from Cole's body. He lay sleeping. Angrily, I put my foot on his back and put all my weight in pushing on him while pulling the sheet. Soundlessly, he rolled out of bed onto the floor. My eyes widened as he swore out.

"Shh!" I said desperately, dropping the sheet and running around the bed towards the door. I stepped over him as he sat up, obviously shaken and confused. I opened the door and peered into the hall. For two minutes I waited to see if anyone was going to come out and ask what the hell was going on. I closed over the door and placed another Silencing Spell and Locking Charm.

"What was that for?" he asked furiously, rubbing where his head had hit the floor. "This is going to bruise, just so you know."

"I'm sorry," I snapped, "but you are a bed hog!"

"I am not," he objected. "I've never been told I was a bed hog by anyone I've shagged." This caused me to raise my eyebrows.

"So, how many girls have you slept over with?" I asked curiously.

"Two," he answered sheepishly.

"And with how many of those girls did you use that little act last night?" I asked, feeling quite stupid. I should have known the whole showing up at my bedroom with a broom was an act.

"None," he snapped angrily, getting up and twisting his boxers around correctly. "You seem to think that I'm just out to get sex from you, Roe, or something." I blushed but didn't say anything. I could have said that it was working because so far every time he's seen me we've had sex. "Do you want me to go home?"

"No," I said after a moment. "No." I sighed and went over to him. He looked down at me curiously as though he were curious as to why, of all people, it was me that he fell in love with. At least, that's what I thought the look looked like. Who knows what it really was? I stood up on my tip-toes and kissed him. "Help me put the sheet back on."

He helped me and then we crawled into bed again. I lay still for a moment before turning to him and shaking him back awake.

"What?" he groaned.

"Switch sides with me," I instructed.

"Why?"

"You're already pushing me over again," I snapped. I crawled over him and pushed him away from me. "There."

"Sorry," he replied, "this is just my side." He pulled the comforter back over him and fell back asleep, leaving me wide awake to stare at the ceiling.

There was another thing that was keeping me awake. He needed the comforter in the middle of July. I was the person who never needed a blanket except for winter. In the spring and fall I would wear heavy socks and a bathrobe to bed and sleep with my comforter folded down at the edge of the bed. Cole, however, was the type of person who always needed a comforter. I tired sleeping on top of it, but he kept pulling on it until I lifted my butt and slid it down and got kind of under it. I was now sweating profusely.

My thoughts strayed to all types of things, as they tend to do when I can't sleep. Part of me couldn't sleep because I was desperately afraid someone would walk in here and see not only a boy in my bed, but a Malfoy. It was quite silly, that much I was aware of, but it prohibited me from falling asleep.

Soundlessly I turned to Cole and watched the comforter rise and fall as his breathing deepened and became the ultimate calm. I turned completely on my side and watched him sleeping for a moment.

At this point I was fully awake and knew sleep was not going to come easy to me. It would be futile to force my eyes closed, as I would become more awake out of spite.

In his sleep, Cole turned over to face me, his eyes still closed, his mouth parted slightly. I smiled at him and brushed his hair back from his face. I was just about to think some nice thoughts about him when he inched closer and closer until he was on my side of the bed again. His head lolled onto my pillow, basically forcing my head up or I'd be suffocated.

"You've got to be kidding me," I hissed angrily. "Get up." I slapped him arm, though he probably didn't feel it through the cushion of the comforter. He went on sleeping until I gave his face a sharp slap.

His eyes opened and he frowned in confusion. From under the comforter his hand snaked out and went to his cheek.

"Did you slap me?" he asked furiously.

"Yes, you—"

"Remind me never to sleep over here again," he replied angrily, rubbing his cheek moodily.

"Well, see, I gave you your side of the bed and now you're moving onto my side of the bed," I pointed out. "See, your head is on my pillow."

"Sorry," he snapped, taking his head off and putting it back onto his pillow. "I'm a bit of a restless sleeper. I tend to move around a lot."

"Thanks for the warning," I said sarcastically. He made a face at me and closed his eyes again. "Hey…are you going back to sleep?"

"I'm trying," he said desperately.

"Well, I can't sleep," I said.

"That sucks," he replied sleepily.

"No, no, I think you misunderstood me," I said with a laugh. "What I meant was _we_ can't sleep."

"I can sleep fine," he snapped. He sat up in bed and rubbed his eyes twice before letting his hands drop onto his lap. He blinked furiously before turning to me. "Sleepy yet?"

"No," I said. Our voices were still barely above a whisper despite the Silencing Spell. I didn't want it disappearing oddly and then our voices suddenly burst through the door. It was best if we whispered.

"Do you need me to sing to you or something?"

"Very funny," I said dryly.

"I'm absolutely serious," he replied. He looked very different in the morning than he did if we shagged in the afternoon. Perhaps it was the puffy eyes he had from lack of sleep or what, but he looked incredibly delectable.

Slowly, I moved over until I was right in front of him and then I kissed him. He kissed me back, but when I went to sit on top of him he put his hands on my shoulders and pushed me back lightly.

"What?" I asked with a smile.

"I warn you," he began, "there is a very good chance I'll fall asleep in the middle of it." He smiled at me and I couldn't help but give a giggle. I rolled off of him onto my back.

"Good, I didn't really want to, anyways," I replied, pulling my hair out from under me. I reached over onto my bedside table and grabbed a hair-tie and silently put my hair up. Then, I turned to him. "I figured I only went to sleep so quickly was because I was pooped from shagging."

"Pooped from shagging," he repeated, "that sounds unbelievably vile."

"You're funny in the morning," I said sarcastically. Happily, I let out a big yawn that caused my eyes to water. "Brilliant, I think I'm sleepy again."

"Oh, thank Merlin," he said and dove under the covers.

"Just…keep on your fucking side, please," I snapped with a smile.

He cracked an eye open and smiled at me. "I'll do my best."

I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I knew there was a pounding on my door. Normally, I would have ignored it and let whoever it was come in on their own. Usually it was my mother or someone looking for something. They would take it and leave me to fall back asleep. However, I realized, with a sickening sensation, that I had a Malfoy in my bed and whoever it was wouldn't like that very much at all.

I sat up, though Cole was already tugging his pants on again.

"Roe? Are you in there?" It was my father. I began the early stages of a panic attack and rushed to the window and opened it. I thrust Cole's broom into his hand and then, much to my horror much later, I shoved him out the window. Without even turning to see if he ever got on the broom I hastily pulled the blind down and went to my door. I glanced back sharply and pushed his shirt under the bed and then opened the door.

"Dad, what is it?" I asked, doing my best to look exhausted. It was, after all, only eight in the morning. An unholy hour for a seventeen year old such as myself, especially one who wasn't expecting to be woken up for three more hours and had her secret boyfriend in bed.

"Sorry," he said, "I was wondering if you wanted a bagel from down the street. Your mother and I were going to take a walk and grab one on the way back."

"Um, yeah, sure," I said, giving a nervous giggle. "Cinnamon sugar, please. Actually, make it two. I'm very hungry."

"Sure," he said, looking at me oddly. "Were you up late last night?"

"What? Why?" I was wondering if perhaps shagging gave you black circles under your eyes. I was, after all, rather new to the whole thing and could not be sure if there were some things Demi forgot to clue me in on.

"You look exhausted."

Well, lying and constant jolts of panic attacks will do that to a person, not to mention a boyfriend who won't stay on his damn side of the bed.

"I'll catch on my sleep sooner or later," I say with a smile, "I've got all summer." I give him a bigger, more comforting smile. He returns it, though he is still looking at me oddly.

"Well, I'll be going," he says, kissing my forehead. "Come down soon. Don't stay up here all day."

"Alright," I reply. As he walks away I am almost certain I hear movements from out of my window. I close the door as quickly as I can and lock it. Silently, I turn back towards the window, though I am afraid to look out. Would I see Cole lying dead on the ground after I shoved him out of my window?

With my eyes clenched shut, I pull on the shade and feel it come up as the harsh light pricks at my eyes. I open them slowly and glance down at the yard; over the rest of the roof (My window sits on the last slant of the roof. I usually come out and sit on it in the summer or winter or whenever).

There is no lifeless body in the grass, so I can probably take that as a good sign. I am just about to put my head back in when someone grabs my wrist.

I let out a small gasp of surprise as Cole pushes his way back into my room. I turn to the door fearfully, but I am glad at the same time.

"Ok, so at a different time we're going to talk about you shoving me out of windows," he snaps, picking up his shirt from under the bed. "You're lucky I didn't stumble down to my death you psycho!"

"I didn't want my dad to see you!" I whispered desperately. "He would have killed us both—"

"He doesn't need to! You'll apparently do it for him!" He seems quite shaken even as I give him a good-bye kiss and promise to owl him if I can get away tomorrow.

"I'll see you later," I say, giving him one final kiss. He nods sharply and then disappears with a crack. I watch the spot where he stood before turning and leaving my room. Despite the good feelings that came with having him in the same bed with me, almost getting caught shaved a good ten years off of my life. I never want that to happen again. Ever. I don't even want him to owl me while my family is home, though I know I can not resist an owl from him.

"Morning sleepyhead," James says as I pass him towards the living room. I give him a half wave and collapse onto the couch. "Why are you so tired?"

"It's early," I complain, shutting my eyes. I feel James's face hovering over mine, though I refuse to open my eyes. I don't want him to be able to tell I'm freshly shagged.

"Not so early," he counters. "You could be up at six or something." I do not have a reply to that. I almost said, "Try five," but thought the better of it. "Good news," he says in my silence.

I crack an eye open. "What?"

"You have your Coming Out Ball in two weeks!" he says sarcastically. He seems quite pleased he got to break the news to me as I sit up and look at him in horror.

"You're kidding," I plead while he grins broadly. "Please tell me you're kidding!"

"Oh, no," he says with delight. "Here you are. I took the liberty of opening it for you, dear little sister."

"Thanks," I snap. "Oh, um, have you heard of privacy?"

"Never heard of it," he says, walking over to the fridge and opening it. "Besides, what do you have to be private about? It isn't as though you have a boyfriend anymore—"

"James!" Elizabeth's voice echoes around the house. She puts her work papers on the counter and glares at James. "That is so rude!"

Ok, let me try and explain Elizabeth's sudden attitude change towards me. Up until I was fourteen years old she was a bitch and then after Michael broke up with me she was a bitch. Now that we're back together again she's nice to me. She really, really likes the idea of us together, I'm not sure why. It makes her a better person. I think whatever chemical imbalance Michael had he shared the missing piece for Elizabeth and vice versa, making her a nicer person.

"Whatever," he replies, gulping down some orange juice. I glare at him as he drinks all except one sip and puts it back.

"Throw that out," I snap, narrowing my eyes at him. He ignores me and comes to stand in front of my sister.

"Aren't you happy she doesn't have a boyfriend? That she's no longer dating Michael? At least now you're boyfriendless together. It's still pathetic, but—"

"Hey!" I cry, coming to my feet. "Talk about pathetic, Mr. Blowjob in the bathroom!" I shouldn't really be talking, but he doesn't know what he did and I'm not pathetic, dammit!

"At least I'm getting something, as opposed to Virgin-for-life," he says, indicating Elizabeth, "and you."

'And you.' As if that in itself is its own category.

"Oh, fuck off, James," I snap, shoving past him towards the kitchen table. I could feel him smirking at my head as I took a seat and angrily selected an orange from the bowl. "And, by the way, older brother," I snarl, "at least if we're not dating we're also not getting some disease from a shifty, skanky Slytherin." He colored and glared at me. "Oh, yes," I said to his look, "I saw that cream."

Elizabeth laughs and James falls silent, the rude son of a bitch. We are all silent for a moment as Elizabeth sifts through the papers, I peel away at my orange, and James moodily scuffs his foot on the floor.

"Why were you talking about this anyways?" Elizabeth asks, finding the paper she was looking for with a triumphant look.

"Roe's coming out letter came today," James says, still pouting.

I jump in shock as Elizabeth lets out a scream of delight. The orange that was half-way down my throat stalls as if it doesn't know whether to continue or try and come back up again. I cough and force it down, though it doesn't go down easily.

I'm still coughing as Elizabeth grabs the letter from the couch and reads it over. She gives James a look and says with disappointment, "I wanted to be the one to tell her!" As if it's such a treat to make my life miserable people have to beat each other to my embarrassment.

"It's so great though," she continues happily. "You get your hair done and you wear a gown, an actual gown, and not some crappy dress robes. It's amazing! I loved my Coming Out Ball."

This means virtually nothing to me. She also likes dipping her carrots into maple syrup, so I won't take her word for it. I mean, if one were to list everything we had in common (liked, disliked, etc) they would have a list of: family and…that's it.

I have been dreading this letter for some time now, though I forgot about it in the recent days as other things have happened to make me forget. Demi is very excited about it because she has a boyfriend to Come Out with. I don't have anyone I can Come Out with. My parents would die of shock if I chose to Come Out with Cole.

Almost everyone who goes to a Coming Out Ball together gets married. My mother couldn't because they couldn't afford to put her in the organization when she was a child and she dreamed her daughters would go in. Lucky fucking us, I tell you. Why couldn't she dream for us to go on vast shopping sprees?

Well, almost everyone gets married. Elizabeth didn't get along with her date for the evening. They fought and bickered the entire time and she left the party in tears. I had been forced to bring Michael to it and during the night he left my side to go hang out with some friends and I only met up with him at the end of the night, which I quite enjoyed. I wished our entire relationship could have been like that.

"So, who do you think you'll take?" Elizabeth asks suddenly. "Michael?" I freeze and she winces, as she let the cat out of the bag, so to speak.

"Excuse me?" James asks, suddenly perking up. He is such a sadistic prick this is probably bringing about his entire day. "Did I hear someone mention our dear departed friend Michael?"

"Yes," Elizabeth turns to him, giving him a fake smile that doesn't quite reach her eyes. She turns back to me and mouths "sorry."

"Why would Roe take Michael? They broke up, didn't they? Didn't you?" He turns to me, eyebrow raised.

"Yes," I reply, wanting very much to leave the room. "But—"

"But they got back together! Isn't that nice, James?" Elizabeth gives James a pointed look, whilst I glare at her turned head. Stupid cow.

James gave her an odd look before smiling at me. "Sure is."

"We're keeping it really quiet, though," I say. "So, please, don't tell anyone. And if you see him," I think, "please don't mention anything to him. I don't want him thinking I'm running my gob around. I think I might break-up with him again."

"Oh?" Elizabeth looks at me oddly. "Why?"

"We just don't work that great together anymore," I say with a careless shrug. I wish my father would hurry up with those bagels! "He's out of school now and it is a bit hard to carry on the relationship."

"Oh," Elizabeth says.

I turn to James to see him still watching Elizabeth. He catches my eye and quickly turns on his heel towards the couches. The backdoor opens and our mother comes in crying, "Anyone want some bagels?"

I happily accept my bagels and go and sit next to James on the couch. He doesn't quite meet my eye when I offer him the butter.

I'm about to ask him about it, but find the words die in my throat as I gaze down at the paper by my feet. It must have been from yesterday, though I didn't see it as I was too busy shagging Cole.

The picture was the one taken at the Ministry Ball. My dad had his arm around my sister, who was giving the camera her best smile. Next to my dad was mum and James, all smiling happily at the camera. I gaze down at it before picking it up and bringing it closer to me.

I gaze at it for a minute. This is the famous picture. This is the picture that caused me to sleep with Cole and decide to fuck with my family. I continue to gaze at it until my eyes drop to the caption below it.

_Harry Potter, with wife Ginny, and their children, Elizabeth and James (daughter, Roe Potter, not pictured)._

Story of my life.

OoOoOo

Over the next week Cole and I could hardly stand to be apart from each other. We were constantly sneaking out of our respective houses to meet either at his summer house, then his winter house, or even out in the middle of a forest if there were no other places.

And still, I was hesitant to tell anyone else who I was going around with. I didn't want anyone to know because they would just ruin it for us. I enjoyed being with him and knowing that we had this major secret between us. It was a very odd, enjoyable thing to know that you are the only two people who know something.

I am glad I told Demi. I had too! I tell her absolutely everything in my life. Like, I told her when I stole the pair of red panties from that little shop in Diagon Alley because dad wouldn't buy them for me. In fact, he turned bright red and threatened to send me to a convent if he ever caught me wearing those. I slipped them into my bag and we left the store. Now I wear them to spite him. In fact, if they weren't bright red panties (silk panties, mind you) I'd be showing them off all the time to get him angry.

Elizabeth has become quite annoying about the whole Michael thing. I am very tempted to tell her the truth about the whole thing. I desperately want to tell her Cole is Michael and I hate Michael. I hope he gets a disease and passes it along to that skank he cheated on me with.

"Do you think you'll be seeing him Saturday?" she asks curiously as we eat breakfast one morning. I glare at her and she shrugs. "What? I'm just wondering!"

"Well, stop!" I snap. "You're going to slip up and tell mum, if James hasn't already," I add angrily. I don't think he would tell mum and dad, but I'm not sure. He better not or so help me…I'll kill Elizabeth and make it look like he did it.

What's even weirder is that every time Elizabeth brings up Michael in front of James he gets all twitchy and leaves the room immediately. I mention this to Elizabeth and she gives a careless shrug.

"Perhaps he's been with so many girls he's looped around and become gay," she suggests, tugging her hair into a ponytail. "Or, maybe he has a gay crush on Michael."

I really don't care, I'm just worried he knows Michael and I aren't together and that's why he won't stay in the room, because he knows what's going on. I'm almost sure of it, except I am also sure he would have said something to me.

Though there is the ever-constant fear someone is going to mess up and tattle on me, I find it surprisingly easier to slip out of the house. I never say I'm with Michael, I always say I'm going with Demi, though Elizabeth thinks I'm going with Michael.

Now, as I walk across the yard to Cole's winter mansion, I carefully look across the lake at my house, to see if anyone is looking out the window. I open the glass door and hurry in and then out of sight.

I'm a little early, but he likes it when I surprise him, or so he tells me. As I walk up the main stairs I notice something is a little off. I can't seem to put my finger on it until I see a house-elf scurrying across the floor, a large dress in its hand. I frown and then freeze as I hear voices.

"Cole, darling, I just want you to find a proper girl to take to this Ball," I hear coming from on of the hallways. Desperately I look around for a hiding place. I scuttle up the rest of the stairs and hide in a closet off to the side, waiting.

"I will bring a proper girl," he says coldly.

"I mean a girl your own age," his mother says, coming to stand in front of a floral arrangement. She glances at it before turning to her son, so I can partially see her face. "No more Fourth Years, darling, it looks bad."

I can tell he's blushed just by the way he's suddenly standing. He gets all defensive when he's embarrassed. It's kind of cute. "Don't worry, mother," he says through clenched teethe, "I'll bring you a nice girl to torture."

His mother gives him a cold smile and reaches forward to smooth his hair back. He doesn't push her away and I can tell it must be the only sort of affection they've shared recently.

"You're of age, darling," she continues. "Perhaps it's time to think about marriage? Think about it and invite a nice, polite girl to go with you. Someone who can easily transition into the role of a Malfoy."

"Mum, I'm not even thinking about marriage," he says with distaste. She gives a small laugh as though this was amusing.

"Well, darling, neither was I!" she snaps. "I was practically married in the middle of a War when everyone seemed to want your father and me dead. He still realized that he had a task to do."

"Marrying you was a task?" Cole asked cynically. Again, his mother gave him a cold, tight smile.

"Think about it," she says. She reaches down and snatches the dress from the house-elf, giving it a dirty look as she does so. "What were you doing here, anyways?"

"Um," Cole says, "I just wanted to get some work done in peace and quiet. You know, with all the people in and out of the house now it's a bit noisy."

Mrs. Malfoy seems to buy that response because she smiles now, a smile that changes her entire face. It makes her seem as though she were twenty-eight, as opposed to thirty-eight. She comes forward and kisses his cheek.

"Are you sleeping at Edwin's house again tonight?"

"I'm not sure," Cole replies.

"Well, don't come in late if you do," she says, kissing him one more time. "I'll see you tomorrow for tea at noon, nonetheless."

"Yes."

With a wave, she disappears with a crack. I step out of the closet. Cole doesn't hear me as he rubs his forehead nervously. He hurries over to the balcony and glances down at the living room, no doubt looking for me. I come up behind him and tap him on the shoulder. He wheels around, nearly knocking me over as he does so, and cries out in surprise.

"You scared me!" he snaps, grabbing my hand and leading me down the hall. "How long have you been here?"

"Long enough to hear that you should take a proper girl to the Coming Out Ball next week," I say with a smirk. He glares at me and closes his door over.

"Yeah, well, I'd much rather take you," he says, giving me a kiss on the lips. "I shudder to think who I'm going to have to ask."

"Same here," I say moodily. "To hell with them, let's just go together." He gives a short laugh that I don't join in with. I'm half serious, though I don't really know if I would be ready for my lynching.

"I can only imagine how well that would go," he says, giving another laugh and sitting on the bed. "I don't know who would be more upset: your father or mine?"

I shrug and go over to the bed and lay down next to him. He wraps his arms around me and nudges my neck. We're still for a moment before I left my head, pushing his up, and look at him.

"What?" he asks.

"Do you want to go out on a date?" I ask.

"Like…a real date?"

"Yeah," I say, sitting up so my head rests against the headboard. He follows me and turns to sit in front of me. "Like a real couple on a real date."

"Where would we go?" he wants to know.

"I don't know," I say, somewhat sheepishly. I don't really have a place in mind. "Somewhere crowded, maybe?"

"Alright…" he says cautiously.

"Oh!" I say suddenly. "I have a great idea!"

"What is it?" he asks.

"Tomorrow night Demi and Frank invited me to go out to dinner with the two of them in Hogsmede! I said no because I don't want to be a third wheel, but we could go together!"

"Erm," he says, not meeting my eye.

"What?" I ask.

"I don't think your friends like me very much," he says. "Also…um, wouldn't it be kind of a surprise if I just show up all, 'Hey, this isn't weird at all!?'"

"Oh, er, I kind of told Demi that we shagged, so she already knows we see each other on purpose on a regular basis." He suddenly jumps off of the bed. "What the hell—"

"You told Demi?" he cries, causing me to jump.

"I had to! She's my best mate, Cole! You can tell your best mate if you want, but—"

"It's just…" he breaks off with a blush.

"Cole," I say, coming to rest on my knees, "are you afraid of Demi?"

"No," he says, though his cheeks redden further and the tone of his voice suggests otherwise.

"You know she's a girl, right?" I ask, smirking.

"Shut up," he snaps.

"Why are you afraid of her?" I ask. He doesn't answer me and it causes me to laugh. "Is it because she kept hexing you last year?" He glowers at me and I laugh harder.

"It really isn't that funny," he snaps, though I don't hear him because I'm laughing too loud. "You can stop anytime now!" I get off the bed and go over to him. He glares down at me.

"If I like you, then she likes you," I say, kissing him. "That's how we work." His face tells me he thinks otherwise and I sigh. "Well, how about you join me and then you can find out." He glares at me. "She only hexed you because you turned her hair blue." The corners of his mouth twitch at the memory of it.

What happened was we were walking down the hall, Demi and I, and Cole came up to us. He handed me a bunch of different colored roses (so I could pick my favorite color) and asked me to join him on our next Hogsmede visit. I declined and he pressed on in spite of that. Finally, he got so annoying that Demi told him to go jerk off and stop acting like a dog in heat. I laughed and continued on down the hall when all of a sudden I noticed Demi's hair had turned a bright, electric blue. I thought for a moment her powers had gone wrong, as did she, but she couldn't get it to change back. I looked down the hall and saw Cole pocketing his wand. I knew he had done it immediately, so did Demi.

"So," I say, brushing his hair back, "what do you say? It'll be fun. You'll love Demi and Frank."

"Yes, maybe, but they won't like me," he says with a pointed look in my direction. I roll my eyes and hop back on the bed.

"Here, let me convince you."

OoOoOo

The next night I found myself sitting in a small pub just off the main street with Demi and Frank. I kept checking my watch (a gift from my parent's for my seventeenth birthday) and frowning as I saw he was running a bit late.

"He should be here any moment," I said apologetically to Demi and Frank. I bite my lip and chance another glance at my watch.

"It's alright, Roe," Frank says, though Demi gives him a look before sipping her butterbeer. The crowded pub is filled with music and laughing from other, happier tables. I sigh angrily, wishing I had some way of yelling at him.

Finally, when I am about to give up hope, the door opens and he appears, looking quite harassed. He sits down next to me, gives me a kiss on the cheek, and turns towards Demi and Frank, looking quite nervous.

"Sorry," he says, accepting my hand. "My parents held me up with fittings. I finally had to duck out when they weren't looking."

"It's alright," I say, just happy he showed up at all. I turn to Demi, to see her eying Cole oddly, before dropping her gaze down to the menu.

"Can I get you something to drink?" asks the waitress. She gives Cole a look that clearly says she would like to shag him in the bathroom, and then turns to me with a nasty look before quickly returning to Cole. He eyes the table before replying, "Erm, butterbeer?"

She gives him what I think was a very sexy smile and goes behind the bar to get his butterbeer. She returns with the same, broad smile and sets it in front of him, though he's still reading the menu.

"I'm Callie and I'll be your waitress tonight," she says to him. I share an uncomfortable look with Demi before she spits, "Well, we'll call you if we need you." The waitress gives her a slightly affronted look but leaves all the same.

"Great, now our food is going to get spit in," Frank snaps, looking down at the menu. Demi rolls her eyes. "I guess it doesn't matter what I get."

"Oh, Frank, don't be such a worry wart," Demi reproves. "Your food isn't going to get spat in. If anything it's going to be Roe's food that gets spit in."

"Oh, thanks," I reply sarcastically, looking up from the menu to give her a look before going back to the list of food.

"So, Cole," Demi says, an odd tone to her voice. I glance at her curiously, faintly apprehensive. I love Demi and she loves me like we were sisters, and that is exactly where our problem lies. She is very protective of me, as she is a whole month older than I am. "I guess this means you're going to the Coming Out Ball."

"Um, yes, I am," he replies. I can feel his eyes snap to me before turning to Demi, who sounds as though she's loading her verbal guns.

"Who are you taking?"

"Demi," Frank says warningly.

"I'm just curious, Frank," she says, giving him a smile. "I mean, I would want to know who my boyfriend is taking to the most important Ball the Ministry has."

"Demi," I say tightly.

"You weren't curious?" Now all eyes are on me.

"It isn't my business," I snarl at her. "Now, drop it." I widen my eyes for effect and bring them back down to the menu.

There is a tense silence that creeps in between the four of us, broken only by the waitress who comes back to take our order, ignoring Demi's warning.

"Everyone ready?" she asks. We rattle off our orders and she taps her quill onto the pad before glancing at Cole once more and walking to the kitchen.

"To answer your question, Demi," Cole says suddenly, "my parents picked a date for me. I don't really have much of a choice in who I'm going with." She raises an eyebrow as though to ask who it is. "It's Lila Post."

I turn to him sharply. I open my mouth to say something, but Demi beats me to it. "The Minister's daughter?"

"Yes," he replies, glancing at me once more before dropping his gaze. I don't say anything for a moment. A part of me wants to tell him that she blew my brother in the bathroom at the Ministry Ball two weeks ago. "She told her father she was interested in going with me and he asked my parents and they gave their consent."

I feel an odd sensation in my stomach. I knew very well that he would have to take someone else, but I didn't think it would be Lila Post who is obviously very slutty. I mean, she did my brother in the bathroom, for heavens sake! Again, I lost my virginity in the coatroom so I shouldn't talk, but still. I'm not sure if I want Cole, who is very, very good looking, to go with a girl who has no problem skipping first and second base and heading for third right after the hellos.

I smile as though I'm fine with it. Cole grips me hand and I force myself to look at him. He's studying my reaction as though waiting to see if I'm really fine with it, or if I just lied to him, which I did.

I raise my eyebrows with a smile and take a sip of my butterbeer, willing proper conversation to appear. I have no such luck, though, as Demi suddenly turns her attention onto me.

"Who are you going to take, then?" she asks, while Frank gives a her an embarrassed look. I want to tap him on the shoulder and do that shrugging and shaking head thing as if to say, "Where did she come from?"

"I'm not sure," I reply. "I hadn't really thought about it."

"Haven't you gotten any offers?" she asks in surprise.

"Not really," I lie.

In fact, I got an offer today from none other than Michael. He has one hell of a nerve asking me to go anywhere with him. He was such a little prick he's lucky I don't go and kick him in the balls.

Although, I can't go alone and even though I hate Michael with all my being, he would be someone I could go with who would dance with me and then leave me alone for the rest of the night. Any other date would follow me around and expect me to interested in them and stuff. Maybe I if I go with Michael then Cole can slip away from his looser moralled dated and we could go outside or something.

"Actually," I say as our food arrives, "I did get one offer."

"From who?" Demi asks, her eyes wide with curiosity. I avoid her gaze as I stuff as much food into my mouth as I can and answer, "Michael." It comes out very pushed together, though I think everyone got the jist.

"Um, Michael?" Frank asks.

I nod. Demi gives me a furious look. "That scumbag actually had the nerve of owling you! How dare he!"

"Well, I figure I'll just go with him—"

"What?" Demi screams. People around us turn to her in shock, but she ignores their glares as she is too busy glaring at me. "Roe, have you forgotten what that little creep did to you?"

"No, not at all," I say, "but at least I know he'll go away and leave me alone for most of the night—"

"Maybe, or he'll expect you to, I don't know, give him a blowjob or something?" she asks, her voice rising. Frank turns to her, his cheeks reddening.

"Demi, leave her alone," he says warningly.

She ignores him and presses on. "He cheated on you, Roe. He threw away your two year relationship for a blowjob!"

"Good!" I snap. "I hated Michael and I hated giving him blowjobs!" Cole shifts next to me, clearly not loving this conversation, but I too ignore my boyfriend. "Do you think I'm suddenly going to fall in love with Michael?"

"I don't know, are you?" she accuses.

"No! I'm with Cole. I'm happy with Cole. That's why I want to go with Michael because I know I have absolutely no obligation to him!"

She still seems unconvinced. "Well, Cole, how do you feel about this?"

I internally groan. I totally forgot he was even here for the moment. Mortification seeps into me as I realize he was here for that conversation.

"It's fine," he says, though I've heard that voice before. I turn to him and see his jaw clenched tight like it is when he's angry or upset. I want to cry out and tell him I would much rather go with him.

"Well, then, I guess I'm fine with it," she says, though she gives Cole a look that clearly blames him for my going with Michael, as if Cole had a choice of being a Malfoy or not.

The rest of the night passes in relative calm. We all talk and though she didn't at first, by the end of the night I can tell Demi is warming to Cole. I totally know she is still very wary of him, as though he's going to break my heart any moment. Up until last week she was sure I was hurt with the break-up and I suppose it must be a surprise to see me happy all of a sudden.

Demi and Frank leave after dinner as we exited the pub. She gives me one last look that says we'll talk later and then turns to Frank.

"Let's go to my house," she suggests. "My parents are out for the night. If we hurry we can probably shag before they get home."

"Brilliant," Frank says happily and gives Cole and me a smile and a departing wave before they both leave with a crack.

There is silence when they leave. It's tense and unhappy and I can't find the words to say anything to Cole that might clear it up. Though, after we set off down the street, he does it for me.

"So, Michael, huh?" he says oddly.

I wince and turn to him. "Yeah," I say. "I hate him and I like you, so just know I'm not going to cheat on you or anything."

"I know that," he says quickly, "it's just that…" He lets out an angry breath through his noise. "I hate that guy!"

I feel myself smile despite myself, though it disappears at the look he gives me. It takes me a minute to step into his shoes and look at it from his perspective. I can understand why Cole is so upset by this. He's been in love with me since Second Year and for almost the entire time I was with someone else. He must be fairly jealous.

"I know you do," I say softly, "so do I."

"Then go with someone else! Someone gay, perhaps?"

"Cole, my sister thinks I'm with Michael and if my parents do as well then it's the perfect cover for us." I lean against him. "I want to go with you, I really do. Believe me when I say that."

"I do." He hugs me tightly and kisses the top of my head. I sigh happily, happy that this isn't going to ruin us. I don't want Cole to be worried that I'm going to cheat on him with Michael, of all people. "I just hate the thought of you together."

"Me too," I say, walking along the street with him. For once I am not worried someone will see us. It's off season here and though still a bit crowded, I am not scared I'm going to see a family member or a gossip queen from school.

"So, you two broke up because of a blowjob?" he asks, his voice sounds odd. I can tell he's embarrassed.

"Yes," I reply.

"Oh…So, did you give him a lot of blowjobs?"

I stop walking and turn to him. "What?" I ask, raising my eyebrows. His cheeks have turned a brilliant red.

"Forget it. I shouldn't have asked," he says quickly, walking on ahead of me. I catch up quickly and catch his arm.

"Let's just put it this way," I say. "We've been dating for two weeks and Michael and I dated for two years and you've gotten far more blowjobs then he has."

This seems to put Cole in a better mood because he pulls me along with him and then down a sidestreet against the post office. He kisses my neck with more force than usual. It makes me a bit weak at the knees and I grip onto him for balance.

"Hey…" I say weakly, my eyes fluttering closed. "If you don't stop that we're going to have a bit of a problem on our hands." He ignores me and brings his hands under my shirt. "Cole…" I let my head fall back to hit against the wall behind me. I let out a soft moan as he hands reach for my zipper, though the logical portion of my brain is requesting that we stop before someone catches us. "What if someone sees us?" I ask.

"So?" he counters, nipping at my neck. His hands reach for his zipper as I succumb to the nice feelings and catch his mouth for a kiss.

It doesn't occur to me much later that perhaps he wanted to someone to see us.

A/N Read and review, please.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five: The Coming Out Ball

When I got home from dinner I went straight to James and asked to borrow his owl. A reply should probably be sent to Michael so he knows he is taking me. I pick up the little note he wrote me and flip it over. I answer Michael reluctantly. My quill stalls on the parchment as I try and form the proper way that says, "Thanks for the invite, no blowjobs, though."

I give a disgruntled sigh and scribble down a quick thank you, I'd enjoy going with you, all the while fighting the urge to vomit. This would surely be the highlight of his entire life, right here, my acceptance.

I tie it to James's owl and watch her soar into the night air feeling quite as though I've just signed my soul over to the devil. The warm night air does nothing to better my mood as the white owl becomes harder to see.

I slowly make my way back over to my bed and fall into it, the cushion of the bed catching me and wrapping me comfortingly. Perhaps that's why it's called a comforter, because people are usually comforted to be wrapped around it. Insight.

I close my eyes and wish that this week would just end so that I would not dread the Ball and then have to attend it. I envy those who have black-outs. Imagine, dreading going to a Ball and then waking up with it already over. If I could have a specialized power, it would be that. Though, I would not like the idea of not knowing what was going on.

"Roe?"

I turn my head to see James standing in the doorway. He has his hands in his pockets, with his shoulders hunched forward. I recognize that immediately. He gets all sheepish when he's nervous or embarrassed.

"What?" I ask, sitting up to face him. He still doesn't meet my eye and I now know that he must have something big to tell me. Maybe he does have a gay crush on Michael. I'm sure Michael wouldn't have a problem with who he was shagging, just as long as he got blowjobs.

"Can I ask you a question?" He inches into my room, which seems odd to me. The three of us stay in our own rooms. I have never gone into James's room to lie on his bed and hang out. In fact, he would probably not like me in his room, as I would not, either. I don't like the idea of my siblings on my bed or in my room.

"Alright," I agree, anxious to see if this was a "Well, my friend…" situation. I was dearly hoping it was. I so wanted him to tell me he had this gay "friend" whose family didn't know he was gay and blah, blah, blah. I would tell him to tell his friend to tell his parents and "let it all out" to "get it off his shoulders" because I know it would make my parents faint. Well, maybe they'd be accepting, but at first they'd be really freaked out, which would be much to my delight.

I do love my parents, but I enjoy their discomfort more than I enjoy being nice to them. I am constantly coming up with different ways to freak them out. For example, last summer I began leaving old copies of _Playwitch_ in my room (which I stole from James). It took my mother almost a month to catch on and then another month to actually work up the nerve to say something to me.

She sat me down at the kitchen table one day when the rest of the family was out and talked to me about "being who I wanted to be no matter what anyone else said" and that my parents "love me no matter what sexuality I am."

It was incredibly amusing to watch her search the best ways to be politically correct. She would never dream of saying the 'd' word, as she was not brought up to speak like that, let alone think like that. So instead she would say, "Roe, your father and I love you, even if you wanted to be a lesbian witch."

That's right, she called me a lesbian witch. I could hardly contain my glee as she explained that lesbian witches (she continued to add the word witch at the end of lesbian every single time) were no different than any one else, just that they dated women as opposed to men. Apparently she believed I had been living under a sheltered rock and didn't know what a lesbian was. Miranda Kingsburry is a lesbian. I know because she told me and then went on to explain about her trip to a nude beach with a cousin.

Well, the gist of my story is that I told my mother I was only reading the magazine for the articles, which is the same excuse I heard James use the previous week. It wasn't until James told my mother what I was trying to do that she became totally convinced I wasn't a lesbian witch. You could almost hear her screaming, "Thank Merlin!" through the streets that night. I was then grounded for the rest of the summer, though it was really only a week because it was so ridiculous mum wouldn't even tell anyone what I had done to get grounded in the first place.

After that I have been hard-pressed to find something else to freak them out with. Well, I have found Cole, but I don't want to kill them or have them kill me. Plus, as stated previously, I really hated their interference with my relationship with Michael and wanted this with Cole to be as private as possible.

I mean, they would invite Michael over when I wasn't even around and he would tell them when we had a fight. I would be blindsided most times as my parents asked why I did something or didn't do something. Really, it was only a matter of time before I came home and my parents inquired as to why I refused to give him a blowjob.

"So, what's your question?" I ask James as he comes fully into my room. He glances around the room wistfully before turning his full attention on me.

"You know Lila, right?" he asks.

I give a shrug, my anger flaring up at just the sound of her name. I heard from Cole that she had been owling him nonstop all week, something he thinks won't bother me, when in actuality it is driving me bonkers.

So, she's his date! Big fucking deal. I didn't even tell my date he was my date until today and the Ball is in two days. I was so disinterested in what my dress looks like that I told my mother to pick something out for me. She did and it's hideous, we're exchanging it tomorrow.

"Lila Post," he continues, sitting down on a chair by my dresser. "She's in your year and I hung out with her at the Ministry Ball a few weeks ago." Hung out or put your penis in her mouth?

"Right, I know _of_ her," I say pointedly, alluding to the fact that we are not speaking because she's going out with my boyfriend.

"Well," James says, suddenly turning bright pink, "do you know if she's seeing anyone in particular?" He mumbles the last bit, but I get the gist of what he was talking about.

"I don't think she's dating anyone," I say. I may share a dorm room with her, but I have no idea who she talks to or who she hangs out with. The main reason is because I could care less, but still.

"Do you know who she's taking to the Coming Out Ball?"

"Cole Malfoy," I say promptly and then shove my foot in my mouth. I glance at James quickly, to see if he's caught on.

"How do you know that?" he inquires, giving me a curious look.

"Demi told me," I say promptly. Demi has become my scapegoat. No matter what happens now it's all Demi. I got my new top from Demi and I got the hickey from Demi…well, I didn't, but I believe my point is that no matter what happens it was all Demi's doing. This would have been useful ten years ago, but, whatev.

"Oh," James says, looking quite put off. "Are they dating?"

I give a shrug. "I don't speak to Malfoy," I say in my best disgusted voice. It sounds very convincing. I am becoming quite the little liar. "Nor do I care or listen to who he dates," I add for effect. James still looks slightly affronted, as though I should know. So, I ask, "Why do you want to know?"

I've seen James blush three times before.

Once was when he was fourteen and my father found out he was owling one of those parchment sex places. They write you graphic sex scenes in which you apparently masturbate to, at five galleons a piece, mind you. My father had yelled at James (one of the first times I actually saw dad loose his cool about anything) and said it was a waste of time and money, couldn't he just use his imagination?

The second time was when he was actually caught masturbating by my poor mother who screamed, shut his bedroom door and then called for our father. I remember sitting in the living room as she came running in looking all red faced. All the while James was in his room attempting to Obliviate this from his mind or commit suicide. We were all sat down for a brief discussion about the healthiness of masturbating (which I personally enjoyed), and that no, we will not go blind. We will, however, fall victim to carpal tunnel if we do it too often, at this point my father turned to my brother and that is when he blushed.

The third time was the other day when I brought up the "little problem" one of the girls he was shagging gave him. Mum was told it was an allergic reaction to the new soap she made (my mother went through phases of making things: children, scarves, scrapbooks, cookies, soap) and that he needed that cream to help clear it up. Mum actually believed him and purchased it, not paying attention to the label, which told her it was not for allergies. When I found it I asked him about it and he told me to go die, and apparently did not like it brought up constantly.

And now, as I sit in my bedroom, "anxiously" awaiting Michael's reply, my brother James is blushing as though I've just caught him doing something he shouldn't be. His hands are clenched in his lap, his gaze purposely on my floors.

"James," I say cautiously, "do you like Lila?"

The reaction is instantaneous. One would of that I had just asked him if he enjoyed being the bottom to a gay giant shagging. His eyes widen, his mouth opens in defense. However, whatever it was he was going to say apparently will not be said, for he says nothing.

I, personally, am a little confused. This was the same James who has never been on a second date…or a first date, come to think of it. Really, he sets a meeting place for his girl of the week and they shag and then go their separate ways. He has said that he'll never marry because he doesn't believe in one vagina for the rest of his life. Which, really, is a bit funny as he isn't faithful to anyone as it is, would there be a difference between a girl and his wife? I don't think so.

"Do you?" I repeat. This is very bizarre.

"Listen, forget it," he snaps and gets up. As he leaves the room I jump off my bed and follow him.

Before I can stop myself I blurt out, in a sing-song voice, "Are you in lurve?" To which he whips around and glares at me. He does not see Elizabeth coming up the stairs with the dress she got for the Ball and knocks into her, causing her to stumble back against the wall while he falls over.

"Watch where you're going!" she shouts, rubbing her head. It had smacked against the wall behind her. "What the hell is the matter with you?"

"He just got struck by cupid," I quip, enjoying his discomfort.

Pulling himself to his feet, he shoots me a glare that clearly tells me to shut up. I fall silent, though Elizabeth is still having a panic attack over her dress.

"If it wrinkles—" she protests, smoothing it out. "No, don't touch it, James!" she snaps, yanking it away from him.

"I just want to see something," he says, while trying to reach for it. Elizabeth raises it above her head to keep it away from him. He rolls his eyes.

"Will you…just—" He finally reaches for the tag. "Oh, for the love of—Here, happy?" He takes a great handful of it and shoves it in his mouth, while Elizabeth lets out a shriek of horror.

"Get it out of your mouth!" she screams. James releases it as a dog smugly releases a bone and smirks at her. "You are so immature," she snarls, touching the wet fabric tentatively, as though it will give her sluttiness.

"_You_ are uptight," he counters, which is true. "I just wanted to see where you'd be wearing this dress, as it is a bit low cut for you, isn't it? Won't you show cleavage?" he asks in mock horror.

She shakes the hair back and lets it cascade over her shoulders and gives him a look with an arch of the eyebrow. At this point I am incredibly bored with them and decide to leave them to have at it.

Before they can notice I'm gone and then come looking for me, I head back to my room and shut the door. I give a gasp of surprise as I see James's owl staring back at me, obviously waiting for me to return.

"Oh, great," I mutter, grabbing the letter from the owl and opening it. I see Michael's familiar scrawl and feel my skin begin to crawl. He says he would be delighted to take me and that he can't wait. What color is my dress?

What a fucking idiot. All the dresses are white. Stupid son of a bitch.

I give a sigh of annoyance and write back white, like all the others, and then decide to tell Elizabeth. She had asked me to let her know when I got a reply from him. Hopefully they're done bickering.

I trudge down the hall silently and am about to knock on Elizabeth's door when I hear angry voices from the inside. Great, they're still fighting.

I come closer, holding my breath. How many eavesdroppers have been caught because of heavy breathing? Too many to count, I'll say that much.

"This isn't right," James hisses. Elizabeth is ignoring him. She gets up from her dresser and stands in front of the mirror and pulls her dress in front of her to study the effect it has on her. "Are you listening to me?"

"No," she replies easily. She places her dress on the bed and then picks up her hair and twists it up. She turns her head to each side.

"Someone's going to find out," he insists. "Do you really want her to find out about it from someone else?"

"No, she isn't going to find out at all, James," Elizabeth comes back with. "Anyways, it really isn't your concern, now is it?"

"You need to tell her," James snaps. "If you don't then I will."

Elizabeth turns to him sharply and for the first time I see that she looks a bit frightened. Her hair drops from her hands as she comes around the bed. She stands in front of James and looks up at him (as he is about four inches taller than her).

"You're not going to tell her, are you?" she asks, softly. James shrugs meanly whilst looking down at her. This seems to frighten Elizabeth. "Please don't tell her," she begs, her voice wavering. She's going to start crying very soon, that much I can tell. "Please, James, don't say anything."

She goes over to her bed and sits down on it hard, her head in her hands. James actually seems a bit guilty as he looks down at her. Finally, he goes over to her and sits down next to her. His hand awkwardly pats her shoulder.

"Lib what's gotten into you?" he inquires. "This isn't like you—"

"How the hell would you know?" she hisses, suddenly bringing her face up and glaring at him. "Just because I'm not fl-flaunting my escapades all over the place doesn't mean I haven't done something with a boy, James!" James actually seems quite taken aback. "God, I am so sick of this family thinking I'm so perfect!"

"But this is different, Lib and you know it," he says, his voice firm. She gives him a guilty look and lets out a fresh sob. "What are you going to do?"

"I don't k-know," she says angrily, tears still sliding down her cheeks. "I don't know, alright?"

"No, it isn't," James snaps.

"Oh, leave me alone," she growls, getting up and going to her dresser. She runs her hands along the top of it and gives James a quick look before dropping her eyes again. "I just don't know what he sees in her."

"That isn't very nice," James says mockingly. "She is sort of pretty, I guess, if you like that sort of thing."

"I don't know where it came from," Elizabeth mumbles.

"Her parents, perhaps?" James suggests. Elizabeth raises her eyes to meet his in the mirror and rolls her eyes.

"Perhaps," she says, going along with it. She turns around with a sigh and walks over to the bed and stares down at her dress. She lets out an angry hiss of breath. "Great, now I've cried all over my dress!" She glances down at it and moodily rubs the mascara puddle on it.

"That can be fixed," James says, disinterestedly. "Now, I should get back to my room or something. I think I've filled your brother quota for the month."

She glares at him, but I see no more as I scurry down to my room and close the door over. I don't know what they were talking about, nor do I think I want to. It is one of those things one shouldn't inquire about. If either of them wants me to know, I'll be told. Usually I am overtly nosey and curious, but with Elizabeth and James, I really can not care at times (this being one of them).

I decided (seeing as it is very late) that I'll call it a night and try and fall asleep. There is much to do tomorrow, what with my mother bringing home the ugliest dress known to women everywhere. I really want to know where the hell she found it and why she thought I would want to wear something like that. Ever.

What does it look like? I'll give you a hint: bows. Lots and lots of bows. I can say no more, lest the ugly dress will haunt my dreams. Hopefully when I wake up I will be able to forget all about Elizabeth and James's fight.

OoOoOo

"Well, I don't know what you're being so picky for!" my mother hisses as I try on yet another dress. This one makes me look about a hundred thousand tons. I arch an eyebrow to let her know my distaste for her at the moment.

"I'm being picky," I snarl, scooping up my dress and hopping off the platform, "because otherwise I'd wear something like this!" I hurry into the dressing room before anyone can see me, and yank it off.

I am still pulling my shirt over my head as I come back out and leave my mother to tend to the remaining dresses in the fitting room.

"I'm going to look for a dress," I say over my shoulder. She gives me a half wave, all the while mumbling to herself. I can tell I'm about to get on her nerves, but I care not. I want the most perfect dress so that Cole can hardly keep his eyes off of me, and off of that scuzz Lila Post, who my brother happens to be in love with.

I gaze at a few dresses with disinterest. I still have not found THE DRESS, the one I will wear. The one that will make me a goddess, though, really, is that so hard?

I pull out a dress what I thought was THE DRESS only to find it was quite an ugly dress with a bow on the butt. I don't know why one would want a bow on their ass, but to each his own.

"Find it yet?" mum asks, creeping up behind me like a sleuth. She has a bad habit of popping up when I would rather she not be there. Like, now, for example. I really wanted to come by myself, but she would have none of it. She said it was a "bonding" experience for the two of us.

Excuse me, but is nine months in the womb and then an additional seventeen years not enough for her? I think we're bonded. Though, she seems to have bonded with Elizabeth and James more than she has with me.

"What about this one?" she asks, tugging it out and showing it to me. I give it a look and then look at her with a look that clearly says, "You've got to be kidding me."

"Mum, I want gorgeous, not…Victorian," I say carefully. She puts the sea of taffeta and bows back on the rack and scans the room again. Something catches her eye, for she leaves my side quickly. I give a sigh of relief and yank another dress from the bunch. "Oh, gross," I mutter and put it back.

So far, nothing has screamed what I'm looking for. One came very close, but it was two sizes too small. Mum said she could take it out, or take me in, but I refused. The fabric always came out bunchy when she took anything out.

"What about this one?" I hear from behind me. I turn towards my mother, a look of distaste already planted on my face, but it quickly slips off. I stare at THE DRESS in her hands, transfixed by it.

"I want it," I manage breathlessly, reaching for it. Mum gives me a gleeful look and walks around me towards the dressing are and mirrors. I go into the small cubicle and yank my shorts and shirt off and then slip into the dress. I need help getting zipped up, but I can already tell I look amazing.

"Let me see," mum calls impatiently through the curtain. I hesitate while looking in the mirror then pull the curtain back for her to see. She gives a gasp of surprise, her eyes widening. "You look…"

"Amazing, I know," I say. I turn around and lift my hair up. "Zip me up, please."

As soon as I hear the zipper come up I turn around in the mirror and gaze at myself. My mouth drops open at what I see. I mean, I guess I'm pretty, I never thought I was gorgeous or anything, but in this dress it seems to bring out my better features. My eyes, for instance, pop in the dress.

Unlike the monstrosities before, this dress is quite flattering on my body type. I'm really short, so it makes it seem as though I'm four inches taller than I am. It has a nice fitted bodice that hugs me in a nice way. Once it gets down to my hips it sort of puffs out a bit, in a good way and then goes down to the floor.

"Twirl," my mother instructs me. I do so and glance at the way the skirt of the dress spins nicely. "Oh, darling, I think this is the dress."

"Yes, me too," I say, staring dreamily in the mirror.

"Take it off and I'll pay for it," she says.

"Give me a moment," I reply. I collect my hair and twist it up to see what it would look like up in a twist. I turn my head to the side to get a profile of my face and smile a little before turning back to face myself full on.

"Darling, Michael is going to adore you in this dress," mum says suddenly. I feel my smile hitch on my face and turn to her, my happiness fading rapidly. I get off the platform and head back into the fitting room.

Inside I stare in the mirror soundlessly. Suddenly the dress is just a normal dress because it's Michael who's going to dance with me in it and it's Michael who I'll be spending the evening with. The dress was gorgeous because I wanted it to be Cole who saw me in it. Still, it is a pretty dress.

"Ready to pay?" mum asks as I come out of the room, the dress in my hands. I manage a smile and nod at her. "Alright. We'll meet Elizabeth and get some lunch, then."

And a perfect ending to a horrible shopping experience: lunch with my mother and sister.

OoOoOo

"Will you stop fidgeting?" Cole snaps.

"I'm sorry, I can't help it," I reply. He sits up and raises his eyebrows at me, which I ignore. I don't want to tell him what I'm jumpy about because I am not that girlfriend. I know Cole wouldn't cheat on me, but still, I can't help feeling white hot anger at the thought of Lila Post with him.

"What's the matter?" he asks softly. He nudges my nose with his, but with my eyes now closed I can't see the concerned look he's giving me, though I can feel it. "You know, if you tell me I can probably help you figure it out." I know he wants to add, "And then we can get back to sex."

I open my eyes and smile at him. "I…" For some reason I can't seem to get the words to come out correctly. I hate this. I hate going to ball with Michael while Cole goes to the ball with Lila Post. I have to say her last name as well, it just seems so much worse if I say Lila Post. Sounds like a slut's name, too.

"Forget it," I say and roll over onto him. I decide if I can't say what I want to say in words I'll say it in kisses. That way he won't be able to forget the mind blowing sex we're about to have and then maybe he won't think about it with Lila Post. My reasoning is if he thinks I can give him sex like that then he'll be too frightened to cheat on me, least I take it away.

Afterwards, as we lay in bed during the early morning hours (well, like nine thirty or ten, but still), I turn to him and watch him watching me. Mum and dad and James and Elizabeth all left early this morning to get some last minute things for tonight. We are having everyone over for a pre-Ball party and mum insisted everyone help. Well, everyone but me, seeing as I need my rest so I can be at my cheeriest tonight. Mum told me, through the door, that they would be back by eleven, twelve at the latest.

I glance at Cole, wondering if I can find the right words to say what I need to say. Finally, the words I need come to me.

"I know I didn't love Michael, but when he cheated on me it really hurt me, Cole. I'm glad he gave me that excuse to break up with him, but it kills me that he cheated on me. That is the lowest form of betrayal. And I just want you to know that if you cheat on me with Lila Post I will chop your balls off and make you eat them."

There is a brief silence and then he says, in a slightly choked voice, "Good to know. But just so you know," he adds, "I wasn't planning on it."

"Good to know."

"I should go," he says, getting up and pulling his pants on. "My parents will be waking me fairly soon and if I'm not in my bed they tend to panic." I smile and watch him dress in silence, my head resting on the pillow. He leans over the bed to kiss my forehead and then my lips. "I'll see you tonight. Remember, ten o'clock at the fountain."

"I'll remember," I say, smiling as I watch him prepare to leave. He gives me a lopsided smile and then disappears with a crack. I settle into my pillows, fully prepared to slip back into slumber when my door is thrown open and Elizabeth comes in.

I almost jump out of bed, the surprise of the Locking Charm apparently not working, but stop as I realize I'm completely naked.

"Rise and shine, sleepy head!" she says, though she's not really so bright herself. She tosses her things onto my bed and turns to me critically. "If I'm going to get you prepared for this Ball you need to get up now."

"What are you doing here?" I splutter with unease.

"We're back!" she says. "Now, get up so we can get started. We need to get a jump on making you look amazing."

"Lib, I'm kind of not wearing anything," I admit, slinking further under the sheets. She eyes me, perhaps to see if I am lying, and then looks around. She reaches down and plucks a bathrobe off the floor and tosses it to me. "Thanks," I say, putting it on as she turns around.

She seems to think it's best not to pry as to why I'm sleeping naked and instead pops open the lid of a giant makeup container. I give a groan of horror as I realize how much makeup is in there.

"That isn't all for me, is it?"

"Yes, and not nearly enough, I'll say that much," she snaps, taking a few things out and placing them down on the bed. I eye them critically. "Alright, it is now ten o'clock. We have exactly nine hours to get ready before Michael and everyone shows up for pictures."

"Nine hours?" I cry.

"I know, we should have started at seven like I wanted," she says, "but mum insisted I let you sleep in a bit. As it is, this is going to take a while."

"What is?" I ask suspiciously.

I do not find out until we really get started on everything. She starts by placing my face under a mirror and going at it with something called _tweezies_ that she got from our Aunt Hermione. Any stray hairs on my face have now been fully plucked off and disposed of.

After that I have a date with some leg wax which took off the top layer of my skin, along with the stubble. When I pointed this out to Elizabeth, that I no longer have skin on my legs, she gives me a withering look. Apparently I'm supposed to shut up and let her work on me. I do so until she places some of that stuff on my upper lip and then my armpits.

First of all, she insists on doing all of this the Muggle way because with magic there are always a few stray hairs left behind or just the hint of skin in which makeup overlooked. So, in doing it the muggle way, she placed the hot wax on my legs, armpits, upper lip, arms, neck, stomach (she tried to put it you know where, but I freaked out and said I'd hex her if she tried) and then placed these little papers over the wax. It cooled for a moment and then she gave an almighty yank and it came off. The first time I let out a scream so loud my father ran in here thinking I was being kidnapped. This forced Elizabeth to place a Silencing Charm over the room, much to my horror.

Second of all, my skin has turned a nice pink color like I've been sunburned. She says it will clear up as the day goes on (which is why we start early, apparently) and that I'll thank her tonight.

Right, because Michael is going to stare at my neck and say, "Hey, nice smooth skin back here." (He better not.)

"Alright," Elizabeth says, ripping the last piece from my body. I give a whimper, tears or relief in my eyes. She is in turn eyeing me critically. "Have you any thought as to how you want your hair?" she inquires.

"Erm, down, maybe, I don't know?"

"Down?" she asks in horror. She grasps her forehead and shakes her head furiously. "You are so lucky I'm here for you!" I roll my eyes.

For the next hour I am subjected to all types of pain from Elizabeth as she makes me into what she assumes is beautiful. I feel as though I look like a mannequin, but whatever, as long as Cole thinks I look nice I suppose that's all that matters.

She twists my hair up nicely and places a charm on it so it doesn't frizz. As I glance at myself in the mirror I must admit I do like very nice.

OoOoOo

"You look so gorgeous!" mum cries, running up to me and giving me a big kiss. "You are going to be the prettiest person in the entire room!"

It is now five at night and I am sitting in my dress in the living room waiting for all types of family members to show up and take pictures. I am the last Weasley/Potter that will have this and apparently for the first time, I'm a big deal.

I go to reach for a cookie sitting on a tray and feel a sharp stinging pain in my hand. I glance down at it and then to my left before realizing Elizabeth has slapped my hand. I rub it moodily and glare at her.

"What was that for?"

"Roe, you will be in this dress all night," she explains, "do you really want to fill up in a corset? There's no where for that to go, just so you know."

Bitch.

"Fine," I growl, folding my arms moodily.

"And unfold your arms, you look like a child!" she admonishes. I whip around and glare at her evilly, hoping looks could kill. I wish they did, then I would be feared by all and no one would want me to be upset.

Really, it was a much better power than some wish for. I mean, once in school we went around the table and people said what they would want if they could have one magic power they didn't need a wand for. There were some pretty dumb ones, one of them coming from some muggle-born who asked for World Peace. I am pretty sure the world is fine as it is thanks to my dad. What a freaking weirdo.

OoOoOo

After family showed up we all waited for Michael. I couldn't help but begin to chew on my nails anxiously. I haven't seen or heard from Michael since we broke up. After that day in March he pretty much stayed out of my hair and I did the same.

Luckily, Quidditch practices had been cancelled because of a really stupid accusation against the Slytherin team. Apparently they were using performance enhancers when they played, thus we had to shut down so everyone could be tested. Nothing I like more than having Madam Pomfry sniffing around my body for illegal substances. It was so ridiculous that McGonagall decided we would play no more games because we were all idiots, or so I heard her calling us to Flitwick one day. Not that I minded, really. Half the players were idiots.

So, my point is that this will be the first time I will be seeing Michael in a very, very long time. I do not know what we will say to each other, really. He did write to me yesterday and I wrote back, just to keep things friendly. I wanted to ignore it and just act coolly towards him tonight, but I figured if I was sort of nice to him then he would leave me alone when I asked him to.

A pop in the corner of the living room signals Michael's arrival. I feel a knot in my stomach as all eyes conspicuously turn towards me, waiting to see my reaction to everything.

"Hello, Harry…Ginny, how are you?"

Yeah, my parents told him he could call them Harry and Ginny. I had to call his parents Mr. and Mrs. Lang all the time, even when referring to other people or Michael got uncomfortable. As if I wanted to be like, "Oh, yeah, Archibald is a real knee slapper of a comic!" It would have been nice, though, to at least be offered the choice, as Michael was.

"We're fine, Michael, dear," mum says breathlessly. "Roe's sitting on the sofa, why don't you go say hello."

Part of my brain is screaming "Run, dammit, run!" as though a giant flesh-eating zombie is heading towards the couch with eyes only for me. However, my feet remain immobile and I don't think my legs would work very well. I feel nervous, which is very odd to me. I was never nervous around Michael, except a few times when I thought he was going to get shouty or violent after we lost a match.

I mean, there was that one time when we unfortunately lost the match. I still deny that it was my fault, as I can't be everywhere at once. See, what happened was that a bludger that I was supposedly supposed to be watching hit our Seeker and knocked her out, meaning she was out for the crucial three minutes in the game where we would have needed to score 160 points to be safe. I had been distracted by a hair that got into my lip gloss, which Demi thought would be a good idea to wear for the game. "To spice up the air," she said.

I crossed my eyes to get a good look at it and then extracted it from my lips, just as the Bludger whizzed by my head. I looked up just in time to see our Seeker get clunked in the head and slump off of her broom and fall fifty feet until someone caught her and lowered her to the ground.

I tried to go after the Bludger after that, but it was pointless. It also knocked into Michael and then another Chaser before I managed to smack it back at the other team. Everyone, especially Michael, blamed me. Though, in my defense, I was not the only player not paying attention. My fellow Beater was off doing Merlin knows what at the other end of the pitch and our Seeker was busy looking up at the clouds. She was probably looking for the Snitch, but whatever.

Michael was particularly mad at me because he had "counted" on me to win us this game. One of the biggest problems was that everyone counted on me to be basically the only Beater on our team. I had to work twice as hard as the other Beater because, according to Michael, I had more "rage" then he did.

That was the biggest reason I was put on the team in my second year. When McGonagall mentioned to my parents that I had an unhealthy amount of rage (especially for a twelve year old) and nowhere to put it, my dad suggested Quidditch. It was one of the few things we could do together, that we did do sometimes. Elizabeth hated flying and it made her look incredibly funny, and James liked it if he had the motivation, which he rarely did. He would get halfway into the sky, get bored and land. So, because of my rage I was perfect candidate for a Beater, who had to have enough strength and will to knock a Bludger around the pitch for an hour or so.

Anyways, Michael had landed afterwards and glared at me and refused to talk to me. I had to go up to him and apologize and it was at that time that his hand clenched into a fist and I thought he was going to punch me or something. However, he just said he'd rather not talk to me right now, would I come back when I wasn't a failure? See how sweet he was? That was the end of fifth year and the end of us, really, if you wanted to look at it that way.

"Hi, Roe," he says now, holding out a flower for me. "You look amazing."

"Thank you," I say tightly. I stand up and move over to him awkwardly, hugging him quickly before backing away. I notice my entire family looking at me oddly and I wonder briefly if they all know.

This paranoia I have is becoming rather tiresome. I am constantly on edge that someone knows and either hasn't told or has told and no one is letting me off the hook yet.

My fears are absolved when everyone breaks away and gathers their things for "departure" as my brother calls it.

"Who are you going with?" I ask as I slip a shawl around my shoulders. I notice Michael and Elizabeth talking in the corner. Talking about me, no doubt. "You do have a date, don't you?"

"I think I'm meeting her there," he says with a shrug. "I can't really remember." He seems to be saying, "What does it matter?"

"Who is it?"

"No one you know. I met her at work."

"Well, she must like you if she's seen your work ethic," I say sarcastically, eying him critically. "So, how about Lila? You still like her?"

"Shut up," he snaps, stomping away from me. I give a laugh and make my way over to Michael and Elizabeth regretfully. They break away as soon as I get there, Elizabeth turning to me with a smile.

"You two should get going," she says, giving us each a departing smile. I hate to admit it but she looks stunning in her dress. It's weird to see Elizabeth in anything besides a robe done up tightly at the throat. She does have rather large breasts, now that I think about it. I don't know where that gene went with me, though.

"Yes, we should," Michael says, taking my arm. "You both look very beautiful tonight, I must say." I fight the urge to roll my eyes but Elizabeth, who is always polite to everyone, giggles and smiles at him.

"Thank you, Michael."

"Let's go," I say to him. I allow my arm to wrap around his and close my eyes as I let him do all the work and bring us to where we have to be.

OoOoOo

Michael's hand is on my lower back as he leads me into the entrance hall. I gaze around wistfully, hoping to catch a glimpse of a certain someone.

"Listen, I need to say something before we go in there," Michael says, pulling me back along the wall in the corner. I wince, fully prepared at hear him beg me to take him back, but to my utter surprise it's the complete opposite! "I want to apologize to you."

"I'm sorry, you what?" I ask, flabbergasted.

"I want to apologize to you for the way I treated you when we were together," he clarifies, looking down at me.

"Michael, you didn't even apologize when you hit me in the face with a Beater's bat on purpose," I say slowly. "Why are you apologizing now, of all times?"

"I just…want you to know that I'm a different person," he says, smiling at me in a way I've never seen before. "I was arrogant and crass and rude and you were incredibly loving and patient. You didn't deserve to be treated that way. So, I'm sorry."

"Michael," I say, stunned, "that's very big of you, but—"

"Oh, and as I can see you're already forming the words, this isn't some ploy to win you back," he says, giving me another smile. "We ran our course. I think we grew apart from each other. I think I do love you, but not in the way you should be loved. I love you like you were my sister." A sister who gave you blowjobs?

"Well, alright, Michael," I say. This is all very, very odd to me. I wish there was a translator standing next to us so I could turn to him and shrug and he would jump in with the exact meaning of Michael's speech. I feel as though I need to tell him about Cole. "I met someone else, Michael. I'm dating someone else."

He nods. "I assumed as much, though it's a mystery to me as to why you didn't ask Cole here tonight."

"Well, I—" I break off and stare at him, mouth open. "How did you know I'm dating Cole?" Fuck, did a family member see and then tell Michael?

"We dated for two and a half years," he explains, "and you were mentally and emotionally with me for about a year of that. I knew you liked Cole and that was partly why I was so hesitant to give you up. I didn't want to admit that you would choose him over me in a heartbeat, so I never confronted you. I was hoping you hadn't realized what it was, but apparently you did."

I felt a great sense of relief. "I'm sorry, Michael." And this time, I do mean it because I am sorry.

"It's alright, Roe."

"Hey," I say, smiling in surprise, "you called me Roe."

"It's your name, isn't it?" he asks.

"You never called me Roe. You insisted on calling me Rosemary," I explain. He gives a laugh and shakes his head.

"Another thing I'm sorry for," he says.

Overhead a bell begins to ring, signaling that we are to take our respective places on the opposite sides of the stairs. I turn to him and give him a small smile.

"I'll see you soon, I guess," I say to him. He nods and sweeps some of my hair behind my ear and walks over to his side while I climb the stairs and stand in my spot. I glance around at the other girls and their dresses. With my head poked out I see Demi, with her head poked out. She sticks her tongue out at me and laughs while I smile back at her.

I am standing quietly when all of a sudden another body comes and stands in front of me. I stumble back slightly as her hair is thrust into my face.

"Oh, sorry," she says. She turns around and I feel white hot anger bubble up inside of me. I am stuck staring back at fucking Lila Post with her perfect hair and her perfect face. Though, I fully think my dress is prettier. "Hi, Roe! How are you?"

"Fine," I say through clenched teeth, though a smile is planted firmly on my face. I scratch a spot on my forehead and blink rapidly.

"You look gorgeous," she says.

"Thanks," I say and then nothing else. My immature spitefulness will not allow me to tell her that she looks just as pretty if not prettier than I do tonight. She stares at me, obviously waiting for me to say that she looks pretty and then gives a nervous laugh.

"So, who did you come with, then?"

"Michael," I say.

"Oh! Are you two back together? You made such a cute couple when you were together. We were all surprised that you broke up."

"We're not back together," I explain, "he's just my date for tonight." Her brow furrows and she gives me a sympathetic pout.

"Well, hang in there," she says. "Your soul mate is out there." Yeah, waiting for your sorry ass to hurry up so we can go shag down by the lake, I think to myself. Though, I limit myself to a brief smile.

"I hope so," I say tightly.

She gives me a parting smile and turns around to talk to her friend in front of her. I make a face at her turned head and then try to see Cole or someone while peering around the girls. I hear, in the distance, names being called as girls descend the stairs. My stomach gives a jolt of nervousness.

"So, do you think you'll do it tonight?"

"He doesn't know it yet, but if I have my way we'll be back at my house and shagging by eleven. Mum and daddy are staying at their summer estate tonight and said I could invite a few friends over." A laugh. "They would never dream I would invite just him back to my house. He seems totally into me and if the other night was any foreshadowing I think we're going to have a great time tonight."

"Lila, you hardly know him!"

"I know him well enough, and besides tonight will really tell me if I can shag him. It all depends on how he dances."

I feel my stomach drop to my feet and clench onto my hands as hard as I can. I become slightly dizzy and fight the urge to run from my spot and leave the building immediately. I stay because I know my entire family and Michael is expecting me to come down the stairs. I can't just leave them all standing wondering where I am.

"Demetria Lupin, the daughter of Remus John Lupin and Nymphadora Lupin, escorted by Francis Longbottom, son of Neville and Luna Longbottom." I hear the claps from the others and step closer as the line shortens.

All my thoughts are centered on Cole and Lila shagging behind my back. The worst part was that he said he wouldn't cheat on me. He promised he wouldn't cheat on me and there he was, cheating away.

"Lila Post, the daughter of David Post and Clarissa Post, escorted by Cole Malfoy, son of Draco and Pansy Malfoy."

She descends down to meet her father and then halfway he lets her go with a kiss and Cole takes her arm and continues down the stairs with her. I feel myself stiffen at the sight of them as Cole brings her down the stairs onto the dance floor to the claps. I hate to admit it, but they look wonderful together. She is so much prettier than I am and he seems to be enjoying himself.

"Rosemary Potter, the daughter of Harry Potter and Ginevra Potter, escorted by Michael Lang, the son of Archibald and Madonna Lang."

Wary of all the eyes currently centering on me, I take my father's arm and let him lead my down the stairs.

"You do look amazing, darling," he says to me. I smile despite myself and turn to him. He smiles broadly at me and then kisses my cheek as we come to the landing where Michael will escort me the rest of the way. "I love you, Roe Roe."

"I love you, too."

I turn away from him and accept Michael's arm and continue walking down the stairs. My stomach is in knots as I see everyone watching us. A sudden thought occurs to me as we near the last step.

"Why did you ask me, Michael?"

"Huh?"

"Why did you ask me to the Ball?"

"Oh," he says as we reach the dance floor. "Elizabeth told me to."

"Elizabeth—" I begin, but break off as I am led to the opposite side of the dance floor as him and stand across from him. I want to shout, "Elizabeth what?" but know I can not as there are people staring at me and surely that would cause some sort of a scene? Still, I dance mutely until we reconnect with one another. "When did Elizabeth tell you to?" I snapped.

He turned to me, his smile faltering slightly. "She told me the other day," he says, twirling me. Around us the other couples are dancing happily.

"Why?" I ask, but don't hear his response as I catch sight of Cole and Lila dancing just to the left of us. I keep my head turned to them the entire time, despite Michael's voice radiating in my brain. I know he's speaking to me but can not hear it, nor do I care anymore.

Lila's hair twirls perfectly and her smile is so big it's depressing. She seems so happy there in Cole's arms that I want to kill myself. He's smiling as well, which must be breaking my heart. Do people feel homicidal when their hearts are broken?

And, it looks as though Cole is dancing nicely, thus he will be back at her house shagging tonight.

"Roe? Are you listening?"

"No," I say softly, turning back to Michael. "Sorry."

He seems relieved. "It's alright," he says and quickly spins me so fast that when I come back to him the entire room is spinning out of control.

"Merlin," I snap, happy the song is winding down. I feel as dizzy as I did that time Demi snuck some firewhisky up to her room and we got completely smashed, the three of us: me, her and Frank. She told me they lost their virginity after I passed out. Isn't that sweet?

"So, do you want something to drink?" he asks, leading me off the dance floor. "Or do you want to wait for dinner?"

"Dinner," I say, wondering a polite way to say, "Go away now, please." Perhaps I should say it just like that. He knows I'm kind of blunt and get right to the point. "Michael, after dinner could you…I don't know, go away?"

"Erm," he says, holding my chair out for me. "Sure, if that's what you want. I saw some friends so I guess I'll hang out with them." I give a grateful smile and shake out my napkin. Glancing around the room I anxiously wait for Demi to get here with Frank.

A moment later she arrives looking flushed. "Hi, Roe!" She smiles happily at me and then turns towards Michael with a grimace. "Scum of the Earth," she growls.

"Ah, Demi, nice to see you retracted your claws for the evening, do sit down," Michael replies. She gives him a biting smile and plops herself into the seat next to me. "Hello, Frank."

"Michael," Frank says, sounding quite embarrassed. Apparently he isn't very fond of this situation seeing as he's afraid Michael is going to kill him for the things they said to each other during the time we were fighting. Also, I am pretty sure it was Frank who started the rumor about Michael, though can not be sure as I haven't had the nerve to ask.

I see my parents seated across the room and they wave happily at me. My mother looks as though she's working her way through those martinis nicely. Good to know someone's going to enjoy themselves tonight. Well, except my boyfriend when he apparently cheats on me with that whore Lila Post. What a bitch. I should have pushed her down the stairs.

I am just about to drop my gaze back onto my plate when I catch someone looking at me from across the room. Despite myself, there is the feel of a smile coming to my face as Cole makes a fish face. However, it slips away quickly as I realize what Lila and her friend were saying earlier. I glance down, willing food to appear.

"This is fun, isn't it?" Demi asks me doubtfully. "I mean, I'm enjoying myself, but I enjoy almost everything."

"True," I say, folding my arms in a sort of pout. "I guess it's kind of fun, I just wish I was with Cole instead of Michael…no offense," I say, as I realize he can hear me.

"None taken," he says on cue, though he does knock back the firewhisky that arrived a minute ago. "None at all." I notice his eyes roam the crowds of people. Maybe he too, is looking for someone to escape with.

I wince, but turn back to Demi, who gives me a sympathetic look. Suddenly, I want to go home, slip into some old pajamas and curl up in my bed with a book and some chocolate. The dress is making me uncomfortable, the soft lighting is nauseating and apparently, the dishes are just for show because no food has arrived. I am very much upset right now.

"Cole's looking over here," Demi says conversationally. "Now he's waving at me. Yes, hi, Cole. I see you."

"Demi," I snap, "put your hand down."  
"What has crawled up your c—"

"Demi!" Frank cuts in. Frank is very, very good for that. He can sense when she is about to say something gross or uncalled for. That is why they are perfect together. He is nice and polite and quiet and it counteracts with Demi who is kind of nice, kind of polite and not really quiet.

"Sorry," she says to him, but turns back to me. "What is the matter, Roe? Did you two have a fight or something?"

"No, it's just…" I break off with a sigh. "It's just that I was standing in back of Lila Post and she was talking to her friend—"

"Fat or skinny?"

"Skinny."

"Oh, that skank. Go on."

"She was saying that if she had _her_ way they'd be back at her house shagging by eleven like they did the other night." I pause for effect. "She was obviously talking about Cole, Demi!"

"You don't know that," Demi cuts in immediately. "She could be talking about anyone in the world, not just Cole."

"Who else would she be shagging if not her date, then?" I raise an eyebrow but Demi waves it off.

"Anyone. You know that little slut gets around faster than the flu in a dorm, Roe. She could be talking about anyone at all, not just Cole. And, I can't believe I'm about to say this, I trust Cole, Roe. I don't think he's going to cheat on you."

"You _trust_ Cole?" I repeat. "What does that even mean? You trust Cole?"

"After our little disaster of a dinner we bumped into each other outside of a shop in Diagon Alley, remember, Frank?" He gives a nod, while drumming his fingers on the table expectantly. At least I'm not the only one fidgeting for food. "We were getting a present for his mum when we literally bumped into each other."

"What did you say?"

"I didn't say anything," she says, eyebrows raised. She takes a sip from the glass in front of her. "He did all the talking."

"What did he say, then?"

"He said that he cared very much for you and that he realized I was about the most important person in your life. If I didn't like you, then apparently you didn't like me. It's true, isn't it?" I don't want to tell her it is. Partly the reason I stayed so long with Michael (among sheer laziness and the fear of a breakup) was because Demi was apparently mad for him. She hated him, actually, but the fact that she acted like she liked him made me like him. Demi is so hard to impress. We've known each other all our lives and truth be told she didn't really like me until we were six. "And he really wanted me to like him. He said he could never dream of hurting you."

"And then what did you say?"

"I said that if he hurt you I would hunt him down and make him wish he had never been born." She suddenly turns to Michael. "I think you remember the little incident with your toothpaste."

"Vaguely," Michael replies sharply, though it's clear it is never far from his mind. "My teeth came back after a month or so."

"Clearly." She turns back to me. "He said he could never dream of hurting you, and," she leans in close, "he said he might be—"

"Demi-"

She turns to glare at Frank. "Be quiet, I can say it if I like! He said he was—"

"Demi!"

"Falling—"

"Demi!"

"In love with you," she finished, looking quite triumphant.

"Demi!" Frank snaps, looking outraged. "You promised not to say anything to her!"  
"Oh, please, as if he believed I was going to keep that quiet," Demi snaps with shrug. "The point is," she goes on, "is that he's falling in love with you. Why would someone hurt you if they were falling in love with you?"

"I don't know," I say. I don't turn to Michael because he is of no help to me. We never told each other that we loved each other. We came close but I chickened out and gave him a blowjob instead.

I feel very lightheaded. Cole is falling in love with me? An inexplicable question comes to me: Why? I don't answer it, for I don't know. I'm moody, I slap him when he hogs the bed, I'm kind of crazy. But, still, he falls in love with me?

Now it seems very foolish to even think that Cole would cheat on me, especially when I specifically said what I'd do to him.

"Oh, food!" Frank says happily. I glance down at the plates and see the card I filled out last week with my food wants is correctly displayed on the white plate. I pick up my fork and dig in, the food tasting better now that I know Cole wouldn't be cheating on me tonight.

I am a bit embarrassed at the quantity that has arrived on my plate. When we received the checklist it clearly said to check as much as we liked…so I did. At the time the steak and the chicken both seemed good, so I checked both. I probably shouldn't have gotten peas, carrots, mashed potatoes, corn and a baked potato, but is all seemed so good at the time. I glance at Demi's plate to see it filled with a steak and mashed potatoes.

"Hungry much?" she asks, pointing her fork at my dish. "Can I have your peas?"

"Please have my peas," I say happily as they roll off onto her plate.

"Ooh, the carrots, as well?"

"Alright." Good, now I don't look like a heffer with my plate of food. I dig in with delight, the steak tasting wonderful in my mouth along with some potatoes. I swallowed thickly and reached for my glass, sipping deeply. Everything tasted and smelt wonderful that I was sure it must be some sort of spell.

"Cole is waving at me again," Demi informs me some minutes after we finish eating. I am slunk down in my chair, wishing this dress would expand with my stomach. I feel as though I am nine months pregnant trying to shove my body into a size 0. "Shall I see him or not?"

"See him," I instruct, still looking down.

"He wants your attention," she says.

I look up to see him smiling at me and pointing at the clock over the door. I glance at it doubtfully and see it's now nine. I have an hour before I have to slip away from Michael. I turn back to Cole and smile and nod.

"Well, I'm going to get going," Michael says, getting up and pushing his chair in. He smiles down at me and kisses my forehead. "I'll see you around, Roe."

"Bye, Michael," I say, wondering if I will ever see him again.

"Demi, always the pleasure," he says sarcastically, giving her a cheeky smile. "Frank." He departs, leaving a seething Demi behind.

"Pompous bastard, he is," she points out to me. "I don't know what you ever saw in him."

"Um, before he turned out to be an ass you liked him just as much as everyone else, as I recall."

"That isn't true and you know it," she snaps. "I put up with him."

"And just barely," Frank puts in. "She was constantly saying he was such a pompous dick smack." Demi smiles at him.

"A dick smack?" I inquire. "What is a dick smack?"

"When a guy masturbates," she explains. "That is a dick smack."

"I'm totally sure you just made that up, but alright," I say, sipping from my drink. I watch Michael slip through the crowd towards the door. Once he gets there I drop my eyes. I feel some closure. We've come together and spoken and I didn't kill him. I feel very good about this.

The three of us get up and dance to all the fast songs. The good thing about this is that if we all stand in a circle then Cole can come and dance near me. Our arms kept rubbing up against each other so much that I slipped to the left a little and started dancing only with him. No one else seemed to notice, not even my parents.

"I'm thirsty!" I cry over the music. Cole nods.

I stopped to go get something to drink from the bar, Cole holding my place on the floor, and run into my parents, happily making their way through drinks.

"Roe, you look gorgeous!" mum says, petting my head. "Where's Michael?"

"He left, mum," I say. "We didn't work out."

"Oh, dear, I am so sorry about that." She turns to my father. "Harry, say something to her!"

"Er," dad says, promptly turning a bright pink. "There are other fish in the sea, darling, so don't…get discouraged by this. You're still young."

"Right," mum says, apparently liking that little thing dad just did. "Not everyone can meet their soul mate at eleven." She rubs dad's arm with a smile.

"That's comforting, thanks," I say, getting my drink with a nod at the bartender. "I'm going back to dance."

"Have fun, darling," mum says, sipping her drink. "Are you coming home or going to Demi's?"

"Demi's," I say. "I'll be home tomorrow afternoon."

"Right, well, we're going to take off," dad says, kissing my head. "If you see your brother and sister tell them where we went."

"Where are they?"

"Oh, Elizabeth went to the bathroom about…an hour ago," dad says, looking down at his watch with a frown, "and we haven't seen James since the Ball started."

"What time is it?" I ask, peering at dad's wrist.

"Five till ten," he says, sipping the last of his drink. "Good night. Don't stay out too late, now."

"I won't," I say, placing my drink back down at the bar and weave my way towards the dance floor where Cole and Demi and Frank are still dancing to the music. He looks quite funny; actually, to be dancing like that, but it only makes me smile.

I slide up next to him and take his hand to let him know it's me while I act as though I'm dancing with Demi and Frank.

"It's five till ten," I say out loud. Demi turns towards me and gives me the thumbs up sign, which I ignore. I turn to Cole and he nods and departs with a brief wave as I continue to dance. "What time are you leaving the Ball?"

"Soon," Demi replies. "I feel quite ill."

"Stop dancing," I suggest.

"Can't," she replies twirling around with delight as the song picks up even more speed. This is her crack.

"Well, alright," I say with uncertainty. "What time should I be back at your house, then? I'm spending the night, aren't I?"

"I don't know," she says. "Frank? When are we leaving?"

"An hour?"

"Alright, be back at my house by eleven. I think that's when this winds down, anyways. I told mum we'd be back right after."

"Ok. I'll be outside your house at eleven."

She gives me a wave and continues dancing. I slip through the crowd, my arms rubbing up against my many dancing "of-agers" as mum calls them. I ignore the shoves I receive as I make my way into the slightly cooler air.

My heels clink on the stairs as I pick up my dress and hurry down the stairs, anxious to get to Cole. It's odd that we've basically known each other since birth and hardly spent any time together before that night three weeks ago, but suddenly I can't stand the thought of being apart from him. Three years ago I would have killed myself at the thought of spending all of my time with him. It would have been my worse nightmare and now…well, now it was my dream to spend just one minute with him.

The fountain sits on the lawn in the moonlight. I see him leaning against it, hands in his pockets, and feel myself begin to smile again. It only takes me a minute to get to him before he turns to me with a broad smile.

"Cole, before we do this I have to ask…" I say cautiously, afraid of the answer. "Where were you a couple of days ago? Like, all day?"

"With you," he answers. "We went out to lunch, remember?" I do remember. It was awful and he was amazing.

I feel a flutter of relief and fall into a hug with him that instantly envelopes and comforts me.

"Where's Lila?" I ask.

"Ditched me," he says with a shrug. "She was actually quite rude, now that I think about it. I'm sure she was only using me to make her ex-boyfriend jealous."

"Who's her ex-boyfriend?" I ask.

"Not sure."

He kisses the top of my head and glances around quickly before I feel myself lift into the air and spin around to the point of violence. As we land, I put a hand on his shoulder to steady myself.

We walk over to his house and go inside, ignoring the nervous looks the house-elves give me. They are afraid that if we get caught I'll tell on them (that they knew I've been coming here) and they'll get a sock or something.

Hastily, I yank off my dress and shoes and glance at the clock doubtfully. We only have forty-five minutes before I have to go and I really don't want to waste it. This night has to be special or something.

Cole trips over his pants, which are still on one leg, and tumbles into bed. I start laughing and get in next to him as he pulls his shoes off and throws them across the room. They land on the floor with a clunk.

He kisses my happily and holds my hair in his hands for a moment before he brings his hands elsewhere. I sigh happily into his neck and then kiss it, savoring the taste of his neck. It tastes slightly like vanilla (which, he admitted to me, was the scent and flavor of soap he washes up with).

"You look so gorgeous tonight, Roe," he says, kissing me tenderly. "I've never seen you look prettier, well, I have…but, still."

"When?" I ask, pulling my stockings down.

"It's embarrassing," he says, turning bright pink.

I stop and raise my eyebrows at him. "C'mon, tell me."

"Well, alright, if you insist," he says sitting up. "It was really early in the morning and you were late for a Quidditch practice. You were running across the courtyard while pulling on a shoe with a glove in your mouth and I…just thought you looked so beautiful then."

"That's sweet," I say, kissing his temple. "Weird, but sweet."

He pulls of my bra and kisses lower on my neck, stopping every so often to shift or say something to me.

I was really enjoying myself until he did something that completely threw me for a loop.

So, we're right in the middle of shagging when he presses his face into my neck and whispers, "Merlin, I love you, Roe."

I stop dead and then just lay there, but he doesn't notice, which I don't know if I should be worried about or not. My entire body feels as though it's made of stone so heavy I can barely lift my head. He kisses me again.

I don't think he realizes what he's said. "Cole," I whisper, dragging my mouth away from his, "what did you just say?"

He doesn't hear me and a moment later I don't really remember what was going on as that wonderful sensation crashes over me and renders me a bit speechless. I clutch onto his hair very hard and bite down hard on my lip as he finishes.

His movements stall and he kisses my neck again, softer and sleepier. I want to stay in the bed with him all night, but I know I have to go to Demi's. I feel Cole roll off of me and then onto his back. He turns to me with a smile.

"Cole, what did you say earlier?" I ask timidly, pulling she sheets around me as a cover. He frowns at me, as though he can't remember.

"When?"

"When we were shagging you whispered something in my ear," I say, raising an eyebrow. Can he really not remember what he said or is he regretting it and now doesn't want to admit that that is what he said?

"Oh," he says. I can tell he remembers instantly because his cheeks feel hot against my hand. "I said that I…love you, Roe."

"Ah," I say. I can tell he's looking at me expectantly and fight the urge to roll over and pretend I feel asleep. I don't want to say that I love him probably more than he loves me. I do love him more than I can put into words. It's just very scary for me to admit to him that I love him because it suddenly gives him all this power that I'm not sure I want anyone to have. However, I bit my lip and say softly, "I love you too," and kiss his cheek.

He smiles happily and pulls me closer to him. I glance at the clock and sigh unhappily as I realize I should probably get going if I want to be there along with Demi and Frank.

"I have to go," I say, turning to him and kissing him again. "Will you owl me later?"

He nods. "Yes, ma'am."

"Good."

"I love you," he says, as I pull my dress back on and try and make it look less frumpled. I turn to him with a wide smile.

"I love you too," I reply, leaning across the bed to kiss him. "I'll see you later, then?" He gives me a smile and a nod. I shove my shoes back on and give him a wave.

I Apparate back to Demi's house to see Frank and Demi waiting by the door. They see me and wave me over hurriedly.

"My dad already came out to see where we were," Demi says, pulling her face off of Cole's. "We had to jump into the bushes. Not that I minded."

"That's nice," I say. "So, Frank are you heading off?"

"No," he says. "I'm staying here tonight with you ladies." I widen my eyes in surprise.

"Your parents are alright with this?" I ask.

"Yes, as long as he sleeps on the floor and you sleep in the bed with me," she says with a shrug. "They don't think I'll shag him with you in the room and them just down the hall."

"You won't…will you?" I ask doubtfully. She gives a laugh and doesn't answer, which means that she does plan on shagging Frank while I'm here. Great.

I'm first into the house. Remus is sitting in a chair by the fire reading a book. I place my purse onto the table by the door and slip my shoes off.

"Hullo, Remus," I say, giving a wave and heading up to Demi's room.

"Hello, Roe," he says, looking up from his book to give me a smile. "And, Demi," he calls, "get in the house now, please. You've been standing out there for a half-hour."

"Yes, daddy," she calls back, coming into the house. "Goodnight." She gives him a kiss on the cheek.

"Goodnight." He looks at Frank and smiles. "On the floor, Frank." He raises his eyebrows for effect and goes back to his book.

I walk up the stairs and collapse into Demi's bed. I want to stay on the bed for the rest of the night but I know in a minute she's going to ask me to lay on the floor while she and Frank shag.

I sit up regretfully and open the bag my parents dropped off for me and find my pajams stuffed in the bottom of the bag. I walk across the hall to the bathroom and pull off my dress and put it on the hanger Tonks left out for us. She is so thoughtful.

As I walk back into the room Frank is already passed out on his place on the floor, as is Demi.

"Oh, thank Merlin," I whisper and slip onto the bed and the switch the light off. Settling into the pillows I close my heavy lids and let sleep wash over me. Something still keeps nagging me in the back of my mind, however. I can't put my finger on it.

A/N Please read and review.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six: Family

When I woke up this morning Demi was still lying peacefully on her side of the bed just as I left her, much to my relief. I am very much rested as I wasn't fighting combat trying to secure a place on the bed. I am thinking that I shall charm the bed with a magical line down the middle. It certainly helped me get my way when I was younger.

Elizabeth and I used to share a room when we were younger. Apparently when we still liked each other I refused to have a room of my own and Elizabeth didn't object when Mum and Dad suggested I bunk with her. It went on in that peaceful way until Elizabeth went off to Hogwarts and came back a demon.

Gone was the sister I once knew who used to tell me silly stories and make me crack up during Dad's speeches. She was replaced by a snappy, moody bitch who demanded I move out at once because she needed her "privacy." Her privacy to do what, I do not know, but she needed it.

Of course, Mum and Dad sided with her at first and agreed that I would move out. Well, I was not one to go silently. I pitched a complete fit and said that I wanted the room we were in, seeing as I had lived in it for just as long as Elizabeth had. I screamed myself hoarse. All the while Mum and Dad patiently waited for me to calm down. For once, Mum and Dad left it up to Elizabeth and me to pick who had to move. Elizabeth refused and it took us almost a month to decide who would go. In that time she had taken some magical tape she got from a catalogue and placed it along our floor. It split the room right down the middle and she announced one side was hers and the other was mine. I couldn't get to the door and she said she would take it down as soon as I agreed to move out of the room.

Mum and Dad completely stayed out of it and left it for us to decide. Apparently they thought this would mature us and make us better decision makers or something. Or perhaps they thought we would just kiss and make up and never fight again. Really, they can be quite dense sometimes.

First I threatened to pee in the room, which she quickly told our mother. I was instructed not to pee on the carpet or else. I really do not know what my punishment would have been, really. I was nine years old. What life did I have?

Well, I finally got so frustrated I climbed out the window and attempted to shimmy down the house. James told me it was quite easy to do and I figured if he could do it then I should definitely be able to. I fell onto the sloping roof and slid down in slow motion and fell right off the top of the house. Luckily some bushes acted as a trampoline to cushion most of my fall until I rolled off and onto the grass, braking my arm.

I couldn't have planned it better. I got to keep the room because, as Dad said, I fought for it the hardest. Elizabeth was furious, until she realized her new room was much bigger. Dumb bitch. I did win, though, seeing as I got the room.

Anyways, the line would certainly help whenever Cole and I get together. Hopefully he'll subconsciously begin to stay on his side of the bed. Maybe a smack every time he moves will get the point of cross. I'm hoping so. My biggest fear (after getting caught, pregnant or dumped) is that he'll roll right on top of me and in my sleep I will suffocate. He will be none the wiser, of course, and I'll die beneath him. How awful would that be? How could he explain to his parents (oh, sweet Lord, and mine) that we hated each other when I was naked underneath him? "Oh, we were just fighting…naked, and she got tired so we took a nap and I guess I rolled over onto her…er, sorry about that."

Well, that wouldn't do at all. I shall conjure a magical line next time we get together for sure. No way in hell will my parents see me naked ever again. That would kill me! Well…whatever. It wouldn't be good.

"Roe, is that you?" I hear from the kitchen.

"Yes, Mum!" I call back, throwing my bag onto the couch. I head into the kitchen to see her magically mixing something in the bowl. I peer at into the bowl to see if it would be something I might be interested in. "What is that?" I inquire.

"I call it 'Thighs Be Damned!'" she says enthusiastically. "Here, I've already baked a batch. Try some." I turn to where she points and see some fudgy looking things sitting on a crisp sheet of baking paper.

"What's in them?" I ask cautiously, wondering if they just look delicious but really have beets and lettuce in them (a girl's worst enemy).

"Chocolate and peanut butter," she says. "Just try it, it won't kill you…I think." She watches my face as I bite into the small square. Instantly my taste buds perk up in excitement as they taste the chocolate and then the peanut butter.

"Oh, Merlin," I say, taking another bite quickly. "These are good!" I say, wiping my mouth. "I could eat a million!"

"Hence, Thighs Be Damned," she says dramatically, and takes a little bow. "You really like them?"

I nod through a mouthful. I've already eaten three more before I take a breather. "These are awesome. You should market them."

"Merlin, no!" she says with a snort. "I was just trying something out for Dad's birthday. I had some spare time today…Will you kindly save some for your brother?"

"Sorry," I say, moving my hand away as though she's slapped it. "He hasn't eaten any yet?" I inquire.

"No, he's up in his room," Mum replies. "I'm a bit surprised. Usually he perks up as soon as I take out a measuring cup, and I was sure the smell would have lured him out of his room. Elizabeth, though, wouldn't even try them!" She seems quite discomforted by this thought.

"Why?"

"She said she was watching her figure," Mum says as though this is complete crap. "She's thin as a twig already. She watches her figure anymore and she'll disappear before our very eyes…"

That was the good thing about Mum. She never, ever told her daughters we were too fat. Well, she never eluded that we might want to lose weight or watch what we were eating. She indulged way too much herself, and figured that if we had a healthy image of ourselves then we would decide for ourselves when we got too fat. She always gave off the impression that she would always love us whether we were a thousand-ton lesbian-witch.

"You've got chocolate in the corner of your mouth."

"Thanks," I say. I wipe it off and head to the cooler for some milk. It instantly pushes the chocolate away from my throat and leaves a nice, frosty feeling as it glides down. "Where's Dad?"

"In his study," she replies, scooping some chocolate onto her finger and popping it into her mouth. "He's been in there all morning, muttering away and writing out a report on…Oh, bugger, I forget."

I smile at her and spend the rest of the afternoon rolling the chocolate into circles and then cubing them out while she chatters about work and tells me again and again how beautiful I looked last night. As if she even needs to.

"Well, I think that'll do it," she says, wiping her hands on her jeans. "I used up all the chocolate." She hands me the wooden spoon to lick, which I happily accept. I hear footsteps coming down the stairs.

James rounds the corner and seems a bit startled to see us standing in the kitchen as though we were waiting for him. He doesn't say anything as he goes to the cooler and grabs himself a glass.

"What are you staring at?" he snaps, taking a sip from his glass. I shrug and drop my gaze as he makes to walk back out of the room.

"James…" Mum says. He turns to her, eyebrows raised as though saying, "What are you going to bother me with now, you nag?" Mum narrows her eyes and places a hand on her hip. "What is that?" She points to his bare chest and I follow her outstretched finger to where a hickey or love-whatever is sitting proudly on his chest, just under his neck.

He glances down and raises his eyes to meet Mum's a bit fearfully. He's clearly pulling a story together even as the seconds tick by.

"I got hit in the chest," he lies. His eyes meet mine and clearly ask for help, though I am not sure he can get out of this one, even with my help. "Roe and I were horsing around the other day and she accidentally hit me in the chest."

Right, like that's even going to work—

"Oh, my goodness, Roe! What did you hit him with?" Mum cries, hurrying over to fawn over a very relieved James. "Roe?" She turns to me questioningly.

"Erm, I hit him with a…broom handle," I say, glaring at James as Mum turns back to his "bruise" and pushes down on it tenderly. "I guess he bruises like a peach."

"A broom handle?" she says, straightening up. She shakes her head and zaps her wand at the bowl in front of me. It begins to sud and soap itself. "You two are going to kill each other one day and I don't want to hear about it," she snaps, shaking her head as she gathers the little chocolates into some paper and hands them to James. "Give some to your sister, if you see her, please."

"She's holed up in her room," James says, "but I'll try."

I highly doubt those chocolates are even going to reach the end of the hallway, but I say nothing. I have bigger fish to fry with him a little later. In the meantime I take a moment to stare at mother in amazement. Is she really that blind to what was on her son's chest? Does she not know he was probably getting shagged by some dim-witted girl last night, perhaps even while she slept in her bed?

Biting my tongue, for I fear I am about to inform her of exactly what James was probably doing, I decide to head up to my room and write Cole a nice letter detailing my afternoon.

"Mum, I'm going to go write a letter to Demi," I say, grabbing my glass of milk and Mum cleans the counters. "Do you want any help with dinner later?"

"No, I'll call your father for that," she says, kissing my temple. "In fact, if you see him tell him that I have treats for him in the kitchen. Perhaps that will get him to come out of that cave."

Mum hates Dad's study. She thinks it is the ugliest room in the entire house and he won't let her change a single thing about it. For starters, it's pretty small and very cramped. There are built in bookshelves that are bursting with books or files and papers. A small, very old desk sits by the window, always covered in papers and clippings and notes. There's a little lamp that sits on the desk and that is the only source of light besides the sun and the moon. Dad has a cracking leather chair on wheels that he sits in while he does reports and whatnot.

One time Mum thought she would surprise him and fix the place up a bit as a nice present. Well, when he came home she led him to his study with her hands over his eyes and when she took them off with a "Ta-da!" Dad just stood in the doorway and gaped in horror. I remember eagerly awaiting his return because I knew he was going to explode when he saw it.

Dad was the hardest person in the world to get riled up. He had the patience of a saint and never yelled at us (unless we really fucked up). He left that to Mum, who easily got ruffled. There were very few things that would get Dad so angry he would start yelling, and touching his study was right up on that list. He didn't even like us going in there.

So, when he got home, I stood in my doorway and watched as he stood there, robes still on, and gaped in the room. All the while my mother watched for the happy smile that never came. Instead what she got was, "What the bloody hell have you done in here?"

"What?" Mum asked innocently. "I just rearranged some things…and changed the color of the walls, that's all."

"Ginny," Dad said, his voice thinning. I got excited at this point. He was getting angry. I loved when Dad got angry at other people. He usually got so flustered or upset he wouldn't be able to voice his anger and would gesture soundlessly before really going for it and yelling. "It's…it's…crap!" he cried.

"It's elegant!" Mum snapped. "You wouldn't know taste if it came and bit you on ass, Harry Potter!"

"Well, I'm sure taste doesn't have orange walls!" Dad bellowed back. He took a deep, calming breath that only got him angrier. "I've asked…no, no, I've _begged_ you not to touch this room. This is _my_ room. MY ROOM!"

"It was an ugly room!" Mum retorted. "You couldn't even fit in here with all your crap lying on the floor! At least now you can spread your legs a bit!"

"I don't want to spread my legs! I don't need to spread my legs!" Dad cried, going into the room. He let out another angry yell as he realized Mum had completely rearranged his papers and books. "You touched my papers!"

"They made the room look shabby," Mum said, a bit nervously. "I just organized them a bit."

At this point Mum, too, moved into the room and their voices got softer. That was until I heard Dad cry, "What the fuck is that?"

"It's a fucking cactus, and watch your fucking mouth!" Mum bellowed. "If you don't like it all you have to do is say so and I'll change it back."

"I don't like it!" Dad bellowed instantly.

"Oh, you're just being a big baby about it!" Mum snapped, stamping out of the room. They didn't speak all night and James and Elizabeth pretended nothing happened, though I was tempted to bring it up again. I almost said, "Hey, Dad, what the hell happened to your study?" but refrained from it. Mum looked a bit upset and Dad was so jerky that he spilled gravy all over the place.

The next night when he got home everything was back to its original place and the cactus took up residence on the back porch. Mum and Dad made up instantly and never spoke of the fight again.

So, as I reach the top of the stairs, I am a bit hesitant to interrupt him from whatever he's doing. I don't know if he's in the middle of something big, or if he's just reading Quiddich Weekly with his feet propped up on his desk.

"Dad?" I ask, knocking lightly.

"Yeah?" he says from behind the door. I don't enter, as he didn't say come in or enter. "Yeah?" he repeats. I push the door open to reveal him bent over his desk scribbling furiously. "Just hold on a sec, whoever you are."

I lean against the wall and wait for him to finish writing. After about two minutes his hand stops and drops the quill. Almost instantly he spins around and gives me a broad smile.

"Ah, Roe, to what do I owe this pleasure?" he asks, pushing his glasses up his nose. He leans back in his chair and yawns, raising his hands above his head as he does so.

"Mum made candy. It's in the kitchen," I say, glancing at his desk, where a mountain of papers sits. "What are you working on, anyways? She says you've been in here all day."

"Oh, well, I've been working on something for work. A new law they want to pass and I don't really agree with it. I actually have nothing to do with that sort of thing, but seeing as I'm the _famous_ Harry Potter they figured my input would be beneficial."

I try my best not to wince at his words. I didn't miss the sarcasm as he said 'famous' as though it were a bad word or something. He tends to shake it off as though it were an uncomfortable coat he was wearing. He always shakes off the "famous bullshit" as he calls it. He hates talking about his so called fame because, as Mum told me once, it brings up memories of when he was a kid and the events that took place during the Second War.

Dad hates talking about it…Well, you have to get Dad to talk about it, which you rarely can. That has always been a bit or a sore spot with me, personally.

Growing up Potter isn't as many would assume it is. Everyone assumes that we've got all these amazing stories about the battlefield or what Voledmort's final moments were like: what he said, what he did, what Dad did and said. I have none of that. Other Wizarding children know more about it than I do.

From the stuff I've managed to tug from Dad they've been clipped, shortened, probably. He clams up the instant someone asks him a question about the final battle or even about his parents or godfather. Once, when I was about eight, James badgered Dad so much that from my spot next to him I could see a thin line of sweat forming on his forehead as he tried to push off James's questioning. Dad tries not to get angry with us, but he rarely succeeds. At first he gets uncomfortable, then twitchy, then sweaty, then, finally, furious. And, it all happens within a minute, so we're usually wise to stop almost instantly.

I can not understand his refusal to talk to us about the War and what he did. To me, he is the biggest hero I have ever known. I am so proud to have him as a father and it kills me that he acts as though what he did is something to be ashamed of. This shame or guilt, or what have you, is overpowering at times.

He rolls his eyes and pushes his glasses up his nose again. He says, "I was busy writing my thoughts down and just finished when you entered."

"Oh," I say dumbly. I take a deep breath and am about to make my departure when I inhale a very odd scent. I frown and sniff again. "What's the god-awful smell?" To my surprise, Dad seems to blush and averts my gaze.

"Um, well," he says, "I'm not sure I smell anything." For effect he takes a deep breath through his nose and shakes his head. "Nope, don't smell anything."

"Oh?" I ask. "Because it smells like…cigars."

As soon as his hand dove into his hair I knew I had guessed right. Well, Mum was not going to be a happy camper when she found out what he was really doing up here. Writing reports my arse! He was up here smoking!

I cluck my tongue and shake my head as though disappointed. "What would Mum say?" I ask, folding my arms. "And in this day and age, Father!"

He gives me a sheepish smile. "I only smoke when I'm nervous," he explains. "I don't do it all the time. And," he adds, "your mother already knows about it."

"Hmph," I say, giving him a look. "And I suppose you think that makes it all better, do you?"

"No," he says. "I've been meaning to quite anyways, so here." He turns around in his chair and opens a desk drawer and takes out a box filled with cigars. Well, that is cancer sitting in a box. Oh, yes, I've learned all about cancer from Aunt Hermione.

Dad places them in the trash. "There." As if he isn't going to pick them out of the trash the second I walk out of the room. "I promise I won't smoke anymore," he adds, as if reading my mind. "Promise."

"Cross your heart?" I counter.

"Hope to die," he replies.  
"Alright, I believe you," I concede. "Mum wants you to come out of your cave and go see her in the kitchen."

"What does she want?"

"I've already told you, she made candies," I say, nearly rolling my eyes. He hardly ever listens. "She wants you to try them."

"Fine, fine," he says, hoisting himself out of his chair and flicking off the small light on his desk. He always has that thing on when he's in here, even if it's daylight. "Out with you," he instructs, ushering me out of the room. I quickly comply and he shuts the door over. I watch his retreating back as he heads down the stairs. Once I am sure he is down in the kitchen I open his study door and rush over to the garbage. I pluck the cigars out and quickly get out of the room, closing the door over behind me.

The hell I am going to let my father smoke himself to death at just thirty-nine. I'll just stash these somewhere in my room where he wouldn't go if he ever did want to look for them. I mean, he'll probably just buy some more, but if he does look for them I'll place them under my underwear. Perhaps I'll buy some porn and place the cigars under the magazines. That way he'll be so distracted he'll probably forget I went back into his study at all.

An hour later we are all called down to dinner. I am the first one down, as I had been eagerly anticipating whatever Mum was cooking. The smells were making their way into my bedroom as though enticing me to come downstairs and smell them a little better.

Closely behind me was James, who barreled into the room with the blunt force of a charging bull and rammed right into Mum, who was carrying the salad. Some of the lettuce sloshed a bit as though liquid, but none fell over the sides. Mum gave James a glare and set the bowl down.

"Where is your sister?" Dad asks, poking his head through the dining room archway and calling, "Libby, dinner!" He turns back to us with a questioning look. "Has she been up in her room all day?"

James nods. "Yup." He helps himself to some salad. "She said she was writing a report for work."

"On a Sunday?" Mum asks, clearly perplexed. "Really, she works too hard! She's needs a break or a vacation or something. I know!" She turns to me. My first instinct is to bolt from the table and run away as fast as I can before Mum can voice her idea. I already know it has something to do with me and Elizabeth in the same place for a certain amount of time which can only end in disaster. "Why don't you two have a girly day, Roe? I think she'd really appreciate it."

I let the silence sink in, as though I am contemplating it before I say, "Really, Mum? You _really_ think an afternoon with me is going to put her at ease? _Really_?"

"It was just a suggestion," Mum replies with a huff. "I mean, you don't have to if you don't want to." Ah, the guilt. I've already conquered the guilt a long time ago and I am now immune to it. "I just think she'd appreciate it if you showed a little interest in her life, that's all." She shakes out her napkin and I turn to my father helplessly. However, he seems to have gone deaf to what is happening. Puss Maguss.

I hang my head. "Fine," I say through clenched teeth. "We'll go to lunch or something." I look at Mum to see her beaming at me. "Happy?"

"Very," she replies. "Have some lamb."

A moment later Elizabeth comes in looking as though she's been through hell. Her hair is mussed; her face is puffy and red. She's wearing sweats and a t-shirt that is as old as I am. Her hair is in a loose bun.

"What the hell happened to you?" James asks with a laugh. He ignores Mum's, "James!" and continues to look at her in amusement. "Seen yourself in a mirror lately?"

"Ha ha," Elizabeth replies dryly, plopping into her usual seat and reaching for the salad bowl. "I just got up from my nap." She collects some food onto her plate and puts the bowl back down before glancing around the table for something else to eat.

"Well," Mum says, glancing at Dad quickly as though silently asking him what has happened to their eldest, "Roe was just saying she'd love to take you to lunch tomorrow. Doesn't that sound like fun?" I glare at my mother before something occurs to me.

What? I'm _taking_ her to lunch. Great, not only do I have to spend a bogus amount of time with her, but I have to pay for it, too. I'm sorry, where is all this money coming from? Oh, right, I forgot about the money tree I planted in my bedroom. Great, let me just pull a few galleons out of my ass.

Elizabeth slowly glances up at my mother, then at me, before looking back at my mother and then looking down at her plate. I can tell immediately that she doesn't want to go to lunch with me anymore than I want to go with her. For some reason Mum refuses to believe Elizabeth and I don't really like each other. She thinks we're mad, that if _she_ had a sister she'd be best mates with her.

If only Mum knew what having a sister was really like, I'm sure she wouldn't want one. I mean, my sister's a bitch. And, she's kind of weird, and not really in a good way. She's sort of eccentric only eccentric people are usually funny or kind of cute. She's like a moody, bitchy eccentric person whose little oddities are not to be spoken of. Plus, she has this weird thing with her quills. I'll go into that a little later.

"Oh?" Elizabeth says jerkily. "That's nice of you, Roe." I just give her a smile that hurts my face. "Erm, did you have a day in mind?"

"Nope," I say, playing with my peas. "Any day you're free."

"I'm free tomorrow," she says, putting dressing on her salad. "About eleven?"

"Sure."

"Do you want to meet me at work or shall I meet you at…wait, where are we going?" She looks at me with a slightly annoyed look. As though she's saying, "How dare you make plans with me without knowing what we're doing minute by minute. What is the matter with you?"

"Wherever you want," I reply, tossing my mother a look that she ignores. "You should probably keep it close to work."

"Why don't we eat in the Ministry cafeteria?" she suggests. "That way I can just pop in and then get back to the office quickly." While she interns at the hospital she does paper work on Mondays at the Ministry.

"Great. I'll see you then." Ok, so I don't even want to hang out with her, but the Ministry cafeteria? Why don't I just meet her for lunch over a fire so she doesn't even have to leave the office? Damn.

James chose this moment to announce, "I'm thinking of moving out."

"Good," Dad says instantly. "I'll help you pack."

"Very funny," James replies with a nod at Dad. "But I'm serious."

"Well, darling, what brought this on?" Mum asks carefully, obviously choosing her words carefully. "This is kind of sudden, isn't it?"

"Well, no," James says with a shrug. "I'm nineteen. How much longer did you expect me to stay here?" He take a bite of food and continues through a full mouth, "I mean, Libby is only staying until she gets paid and I'm sure Roe is planning on moving out as soon as she gets out of Hogwarts, right?"

I shrug. "I kind of like it here." Dad gives me a nervous glance before sipping from his glass. He obviously hopes I'm kidding.

"Do you have any place in mind?" Mum asks, ignoring me. "Do you have any money saved up?"

"This is in the very early stages," James says. "I don't plan on moving out tomorrow. I just wanted to let you guys know that I'm seriously considering making the move within the year." Mum and Dad exchange impressed glances.

"That's very mature of you, James," Dad says. "We'll certainly help you out money-wise so that you get a nice starter apartment…or home, whatever you so choose."

I sigh and shake my head. I don't have the have the heart to tell them that they will be buying James a sex-den where countless exploits with nameless girls will take place. There will probably be a rubber room and stripper poles all over the house. We'll probably never see him again because he'll be too busy shagging a girl to come see us. I can't wait.

"Well," Elizabeth says cautiously, "you know, now that you mention it, I was kind of hoping to get my own place, too."

Oh, my God! Christmas has come early. A house to myself, well with Mum and Dad but they're oblivious, anyways. It's like a dream come true! No James or Elizabeth? What have I done to deserve this wonderful little gift? Its like angels have smiled directly on me.

"Well," Dad says, "same for you, Libby. If and when you decide to leave, your mother and I will do everything we can to help you." Elizabeth gives him that smile she reserves for our parents. It makes me want to poke her in the neck with those little things you put on the ends of corn.

"Thank you, Daddy."

I scratch my head irritably. Suddenly, an idea pops into my head. "I was thinking of moving out, too," I say casually.

Both my parents start laughing at the same time. "Yeah, right," Mum says. "Pass the rolls." I scowl and pass them to her. Whatever. Fine. At least here someone does my laundry and makes my meals and cleans my room. In a place of their own James and Elizabeth will have to do all of that themselves. I bet they'll regret their decision to move when they have to figure out how to magic the clothes to wash properly.

We're halfway through dinner when Mum suddenly chokes on her lamb and starts beckoning at my father. He gives her a weird look, waiting for her to swallow her food before she speaks.

"We forgot to give Roe her present!" she cries, looking horror struck.

I perk up instantly. I love presents almost as much I love orgasms. I turn to my father expectantly, watching as he slides out of his seat and hurries into the other room.

"We've just been so caught up…" Mum explains, shaking her head in a bemused manner. Dad returns with a box. Maybe it's money. Like a whole wad of money they're just going to plop in my hand. Mum gets up and walks over to me as I unwrap the box. I quickly open the lid and push aside the thin cotton covering.

A gasp of surprise comes out of my mouth as I gaze at my gift. I'm actually not quite sure what it is, but it isn't money. It's a silver bracelet with all these loops connecting it together. I pick it up out of the box and see there is a small charm hanging off of the bracelet.

"It's an eternity bracelet," Mum explains, taking it from me. She unclasps the latch and waits for me to hold out my wrist. I do so without a sound and glance down at it in surprise. "See, this little charm is for your Ball," she says, placing her pointer finger under it, making it flat. It glitters in the light. "You can fill the bracelet up as the years go on. You know, for when you get married…and have babies…" I turn to her nervously. Her voice sounds all choked and tense. I wince as I see she has big, fat tears in her eyes. "And grandchildren…" She takes a shuddering breath and blinks twice. When she opens her eyes again the tears are gone and she is back to normal.

"Let me see," Elizabeth says, leaning over to get a look at it. She sighs. "It's very pretty, Mum."

"Don't look at me," Mum says. "Your father picked it out. I wanted to get her a new broom, but your father would have none of it."

I turn to Dad, who gives Mum a swift glare, his cheeks coloring slightly. He takes a deep gulp of his butterbeer and gives me a smile. "Jewelry is much more appropriate for your Coming Out Ball," he explains.

"Thank you," I say, getting up and giving him a hug. "I love it. I'll wear it always." I kiss the top of his head and return to my seat. I glance at the bracelet once more before finishing dinner.

As Mum and Dad clear the plates away I turn to Elizabeth. She's decidedly looking away from both James and I.

"What did Mum and Dad get you for your Ball?" I ask. She turns to me and pulls down her shirt, causing James to shout, "Whoa, whoa! Some of would like to be able to eat dessert!" She gives him a glare, but pulls her necklace out from under the neck of the tee.

"Oh, yes," I say, eyeing the nice, simple diamond. I remember being so jealous of her gorgeous necklace that I wanted to steal it from her. I refrained of course, because everyone would know it was me and that would lead to awkward questions…I just decided to wait for my own Ball. "What did they get you?" I ask James.

"I don't remember," he says with a shrug.

"They got you the…thing," Elizabeth says, snapping her fingers. "Your watch!" she says, pointing at it. "You wear it all the time."

"That's right," he says, rubbing it as he does sometimes. When he's doing work or thinking really hard (which isn't very often) he twists it around or just moves it back and forth along his wrist. Apparently the circular motion the watch makes kick starts his brain waves.

"Apparently they thought to get you jewelry, too," Elizabeth says, cocking her eyebrow. He rolls his eyes at her, just as Mum burst back into the room with some cake. Mum always bakes dessert. She says it is important for every single meal we have. Some family's get up after dinner, or don't even eat together. Not us. She also insists we all eat together at least five times a week and that we have dessert afterwards. I'm not complaining. I get a nice, hot meal and some cake. I'm set.

"What kind of cake is it?" James asks, eyeing it hopefully.

"Chocolate," Mum says, placing it down. "Your favorite." Really, she shouldn't say that it's just his favorite. I'm pretty sure almost everyone likes chocolate cake. I like chocolate cake. It's my favorite. Elizabeth doesn't like it, but she doesn't like anything so she doesn't count.

Dad comes in with a container of milk and five glasses. He sets on down in front of each of us pours the milk for us, too. He's like a little house-elf sometimes. I mean, he's the one who folds the laundry and when I was younger he used to help me clean my room. That was until he found my stash of magazine cutouts and was too embarrassed to come back into my room again. I had just clipped out hot guys from magazines and kept them in a box so I could look at their pretty faces. He must have told Mum because I got the sex talk that night. As if I needed it. I was fourteen years old and had a slutty brother who didn't mind answering some of my questions. I was good on that.

"Here you go, Roe," Mum says, plopping a piece onto the plate and handing it to me. I dig in greedily, enjoying the sensual taste of the chocolate. "And I dropped an earring in there, so just be on alert."

I glance down at my plate doubtfully. James doesn't seem to mind, as he's still eating his second piece now as if he hasn't heard Mum. Um, yeah, so what I don't need is to worry that I'm going to choke to death on one of Mum's earrings. That would be nice. Perhaps she shouldn't cook with her loose earlobe holes.

"Found it!" James says proudly, holding it up at the light. "No, that isn't it." He rubs it in his napkin and looks at it with narrowed eyes. "That's a ring."

Mum glances down at her hand and gives a laugh. "Oh! My ring fell off. Not my wedding ring," she adds, as Dad gave her a look. "That ring my brother gave me for my birthday when I was twelve. Thank you, James."

After that no one ate their cake. I was afraid I'd find her watch or shoes in the cake next. I mean, really, the bowl doesn't have a suction force field that would cause her jewelry to fall into it.

"Well, I'm a bit tired," Elizabeth announces suddenly. "I'm going to go to call it a night, I think." We all turn to look at her. "What? I just had a late night last night."

"Right," Mum says. "How is Stella, by the way? Is she doing well after her parent's divorce?"

"Yes, yes," Elizabeth says, waving her hand dismissively. "Her parents split amicably. It's really quite odd. Her dad still goes over to visit her mum almost everyday so she says it's just like he was at home."

"Hmm," Mum says, but I can tell she already lost interest. "Well, good night, dear." She smiles brightly at Elizabeth.

My sister kisses each of our parents good night, ignores James and me and heads up to her room. My parents give each other a look, but say nothing. Apparently no one wants to mention it's only seven. Perhaps they don't want to wonder what has gotten into her. I'm hoping its drugs, personally. I think a doped up Elizabeth would be much fun.

"James and Roe clear the dishes, will you?" Mum asks. "Let's go for a walk, Potter." I make a face, but do it without much grumbling. Dad puts an arm around Mum's waist and leads her out the backdoor towards the lake.

I turn on James the instant I hear the door close. "What do you know?" I ask him, placing a hand on my hip. He doesn't answer me right away. James goes around the table picking up plates and squishing down the cake as he does so. Finally, I get irritated. "James!"

"What?" he asks innocently.

"Don't act like you didn't hear me," I snap, eyeing him suspiciously. "Do you know what's going on with Elizabeth? Is it drugs? Do you think she'd let me have some?"

"What?" James cries. "No, Roe, she isn't doing drugs. And no, even if she was I don't think she'd let you have some. You know how selfish she is. And don't do drugs," he adds through the kitchen. I roll my eyes and follow him in.

"So you really don't know what's going on?" I ask. "You're sticking to that story, then?" I raise an eyebrow.

He looks up and gives a look as though he's seriously considering it before he says, "Yup," sarcastically and pushes the leftover cake into the garbage. "Besides, why do you care?"

"I'm a naturally curious person," I say with a shrug.

"Actually, it's called being nosy and people find it annoying."

"Well I find it annoying that you get a disgusting hickey on your _chest_ and blame it on me, you whore." Instead of looking sheepish James actually looks quite pleased with himself. "Who gave it to you?"

"Um, that would be None of Your Business. Know her?"

"You know, I could let it slip that a broom would leave a black and blue bruise, not a red suction mark. Or, even better, I could just tell Mum and Dad about all the gross little things you do when they turn their backs."

James doesn't look too worried because he knows exactly what I know: As soon as I tell Mum and Dad, I lose my only hold over him. I wish I had more on him, but they already know he's porn obsessed. Perhaps I could tell him he occasionally dabbles in pot, but they'll figure that out soon enough. He nearly set the fire detectors off last time he did it.

"Roe, I don't pry into your love-life, not that you have one to pry into. Even if you did, I still wouldn't pry into it. Do me the same respect, please."

"Fine," I say moodily. There's a beat of silence. "So what's got Elizabeth so wired?"

"Like I said, no clue," he snaps.

I smile. "Ooh, did I provoke the dragon?" I ask in mock seriousness. "C'mon, tell me!" He's still silent and I scowl. "Since when have you and Elizabeth been all buddy-buddy."

"Since we teamed forces against your nosy arse," he replies, moving about the kitchen. He looks up at me and gives a sigh, as though he hurt my feelings. "If she wanted to tell you then she would have told you."

"Are you honestly trying to get me to believe that she confided in you?" I ask sarcastically. "I've never seen you two have a civil conversation!"

James doesn't answer. I give an agitated growl from the back of my throat and stamp back into the dining room and bring in the glasses.

"I'd tell you if I had something going on in my life," I say to him. It was a _lie_ but how would he know?

"I'm touched," he says, "but I have no idea what you're talking about. Hand me that sponge, you nosy brat."

I hand it to him and wonder briefly whether or not I should mention their little conversation that I overheard the other night. James scrubs the dishes the Muggle way, which he admitted to me once, was very therapeutic, and ignores my hovering. Finally, I can resist no longer.

"Is she having an affair with someone?" I ask excitedly.

"What?" James asks as though I'm mad. I'm almost about to say something else, but I see the dart of fear that flashes through his eyes. "Where would you get a crazy idea like that, Roe?"

"I heard you guys talking about something the other night," I say quickly.

"Well, we can add eavesdropping to your already growing list of things that incredibly annoy me," James says, avoiding my gaze.

"You said you were going to tell someone what she was doing," I say, cutting him off swiftly. His motions stall and his head hangs down as though in defeat. In back of us thunder cracks threateningly.

"Alright," James says softly. He looks up at me and then around the room. "C'mere," he says, putting the sponge down and leading me over to the table. "What I am about to tell you can not leave this room, do you understand? No matter what I tell you you can't repeat any of it, alright?"

"Yes, of course," I say, taking a seat across from him. I am almost wetting my pants in anticipation. I wonder who Elizabeth is shagging. I wonder if I know him. I wonder if he's married.

James doesn't seem to be able to say it, so I place a hand on his arm comfortingly and silently beckon him to continue. He sucks in a deep breath and looks at me, clearly mustering something.

"Okay, so—"

"We're back!" Mum cries, coming into the kitchen.

"No!" I cry, seeing James come back to his senses.

James starts and pushes me back off of him quickly. I lose my balance and fall to the floor with an awkward thud just as Mum's feet walk past me.

"James, don't push your sister unless she can push you back," Mum admonishes. She shakes out her hair. "The rain is really coming down out there. We only made it halfway around the lake before the thunder came…What is the matter with you?" she asks me. James had gotten up and rushed out of the room, despite my calling his name.

"He was just about to tell me something important!" I snap at her, furious that she stopped James's admission, whatever it could be. Mum, for her part, doesn't look so concerned.

"If he really wants to tell you he'll tell you again," she says with an airy shrug. "Ugh, James! Don't throw away plates, please!" she calls, scooping them out of the garbage. "I think he does this on purpose so I won't ask him to help again." That was actually me, but whatever.

I give one last look and hurry out of the kitchen towards the stairs. Bounding up them two at a time I make it to James's room and see he has locked it. Stupid git.

"James!" I cry, pounding on the door as hard as I can. "Open up! Let me in, please…James!" Still, there is silence from inside his room. "Oi! You stupid git let me in this room this—" I am a bit shocked as the door flies open and James tugs me into the room with enough force to send me flying with my balance lost.

As I turn on my ankle and stumble against his bed, he shuts the door and turns back to me with a giant scowl on his face.

"You have no tact, you know that?" he snarls at me. I ignore this as he glares down at me. "Did you want something or were you planning on standing outside my door banging on it all night?"

"You know what I want to know about," I say carefully. "You were going to tell me all about it in the kitchen."

"I'm not sure what you're talking about," he says, folding his arms. I flare up in anger. I fucking hate when he does this! He acts as though he has no idea what I'm talking about and makes me look like an idiot.

"Really? You have no idea what I'm talking about?" I ask. He nods and raises his eyebrows. "Alright, fine." I walk to his door and throw it open. "Hey, Elizabeth!" I call. I feel his hand grip my arm tightly and he pull me back. His grip is still tight after he slams the door. He releases me with a shove and I stumble onto his bed. I get up instantly and punch him in the arm as hard as I can.

"Ouch! What the hell was that for?"

"I'm littler than you are!" I bellow up at him. "You can't push me around like that! You hurt my arm, you oaf!"

"I'm sorry," he says, looking a bit worried. "Let me see it—"

"You get away from me," I snap, rubbing my arm moodily.

"Don't be a baby," he snaps and pushes the sleeve of my shirt up. "I didn't mean to hurt you, but—"

"I know," I say, snatching my arm back from him. "But if you would just tell me…"

"Why the fuck are you being so insistent about this? Of all things you could worry yourself with you choose this!"

"Because," I say, loosing my footing slightly, "Elizabeth is my sister and I care for her and I don't want her to get hurt." Wow, that even sounded fake in my head. James gives me a look and I sigh. "I just want to know!" I burst out.

"Fine!" he bellows, running a hand through his hair. He glances down at me. "Like I said, you can't say anything to anyone."

"Promise," I reply instantly.

"Elizabeth is planning on…_taking_ someone's job," James says. I raise my eyebrows, not quite sure what he's talking about. "I found out about it and told Elizabeth she needs to let the girl know she might be replaced so she can look for another job."

"But Elizabeth said 'I don't know what he sees in her,'" I say, frowning.

"Yeah, her boss is a man," James says, "and she doesn't know why he is so keen to place this other girl in the higher position."

"That's…so unlike Elizabeth," I say finally. Actually, I'm not that surprised. I'd be more surprised if she wasn't a ruthless, backstabbing bitch. "So, that's it? She's stealing someone's job. That's what you two were talking about?"

"Yeah," James says. "And you can't say anything to anyone because she could lose her job if anyone finds out."

"Wow," I say in amazement, "Elizabeth really is a bitch."

"Yup," James says with a shrug.

"Now, get the hell out of my room, please," he says. "You're stinkin' it up with all your estrogen."

I am forcibly removed from his room and head back to my own feeling slightly better. At least Elizabeth isn't having an affair or anything that serious. That is more like something James might do, not my precious sister. Still, there seems to be something I'm forgetting. I still can't figure out what was on my mind from last night. It must not be that important if it isn't coming right to me.

My room is dark because of the black rain clouds overhead. I flip on a light and close the door over, hearing the reassuring click. My brain seems as though it's almost on deep-fry. It refuses to think about anything too deep and profound at the moment, so I am forced to think about Cole's arms. I really like them. They're very nice.

"Roe…Roe…"

I open my eyes and sit up, startled. Light is streaming into my room and birds are chirping away from outside my open window. I blink rapidly and turn to see my mother standing over me.

"It's ten thirty, darling. Remember, you have lunch with Elizabeth at eleven," she says. "I wasn't sure if you were going to wake up on your own or not."

"Thanks," I say, sitting up and rubbing my eyes furiously. I couldn't believe how long I've been asleep. I must have fallen asleep at seven-thirty! I guess I'm making up for the past two weeks of sleep deprivation.

"Oh, and a letter came for you. It was sitting on your sill," she says, giving me an odd look. "Who's Bob?"

Bob was Cole's codename. Mine was Charlene. It was the funniest name I could think of and thought if I could change my name it would be Charlene for certain.

"A friend. I've talked about him before, Mum," I say, throwing my feet over the side of the bed and accepting the letter from Mum. She seems to wait for me to open it, which I do slowly. "Ah," I say. "He wants to know if we can meet up later. I can, can't I?"

"Of course you can," Mum says. "Who am I to deny you to see your dear friend Bob?" she asks and smiles at me. "Get dressed or you'll be late. Elizabeth has a busy day ahead of her and you shouldn't keep her—"

"Yeah, yeah, alright," I say, brushing my long hair. Mum leaves the room and I pull on a sundress that was at least three years old. I was expected to grow into it in a couple of ways, but it still looked nice on me.

I sigh and gaze at myself in the mirror. There's still some sleep in my eye that I quickly brush away before smiling brightly at myself.

"Hello, gorgeous," I say to myself and then laugh. "Alright, Mum, I'm going!" I call.

"Floo, please!" she calls back. "I don't want you Apparating by yourself!"

She thinks I'm going to end up in a foreign country with half my body still at home. I'm quite capable of doing it on my own, thank you very much.

"Alright," I snap, heading down the stairs. She is sitting on the couch, her feet propped on the coffee table, a giant book open in her lap. "What are you reading?" I ask, picking up some powder.

"It's a gardening book," she says softly, entranced by the words in front of her. "Those bushes on the side of the house are planning on taking over the yard. They must be stopped."

"Right," I say, making a face at her like, "Wow!" She doesn't see it. "I'm probably going to meet up with Bob and Demi after lunch so I'll be home by dinner."

"Fine, fine," Mum says, still not looking up. "Have a nice afternoon."

I give a sigh and throw the powder into the fireplace, dreading the lunch.

A/N Read and review. Cole wasn't in this, but I wanted to add a bit more of her family. He'll be in next chapter for sure.

Sorry for the wait but I can't help that. When I get inspired to write I write and when I'm not it's awful. This came to me and I wrote the entire chapter in like an hour or so. However, I spent over a week agonizing over what to write next.

Same for Kate's Dream. Right now I have only one page written and can't write any more if it. When I get the urge to write that, believe me I will. I'm tempted to give something away in that story and I have to stop myself so I don't give it away too early. I will try and have another chapter for Kate's Dream by the end of July, for sure.

Also, anyone interested in the Moving Out Sequel see my author's bio for details.

Ok, so read and review. Hope you enjoyed it. I can't wait for this story to really get going. I plan on having it go through her entire Hogwarts year and such, so…review!!


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven: Accidentally Meeting the Parents

"You're late."

That is the first thing Elizabeth says to me as soon as I reach the cafeteria floor. At first I didn't know it was her talking, and continued to look around the heads of dining Ministry workers, searching for her red locks.

"I said you're late," she said again, tapping me on the shoulder. I wheeled around to stare at her in surprise. "I thought we agreed on eleven."

"Right," I replied.

"It's eleven-ten," she snapped, placing a hand on her hip.

"Well, see, I was actually here at ten-fifty, but there was this explosion on the fourth floor and they needed me to help clean it up. I was simply walking along the hall and someone shouted for me to come and help them sift through the debris. I, thinking of you, replied, 'No, kind sir! I have a lunch date with my sister!' but he insisted I stop and help. So you see, it really wasn't my fault at all."

"Shut up," she snapped, walking ahead of me. We got in line and remained silent until it was our turn to order. "I'll have the salad, please."

"And you?" the attendant asked.

"Hmm…" I said, switching my weight from side to side. "What looks good? What looks good?"

"Just get anything," Elizabeth snarled.

I glared at her, turned back to the attendant and said, "I'll have the turkey club, please." I pushed some money across the counter and refrained from snapping, "You're welcome, you ungrateful bitch," at Elizabeth as she collected her plate without a word.

We didn't speak until we got our seats. She insisted on sitting across from me, which wasn't that weird, but then she insisted on getting a table in the center of the dining hall that faced the main lobby. She's a freak!

Now, as we sit across from each other, eating in complete silence, she keeps glancing up at a spot behind me. I want to turn around and see what she is looking at but decide not to. Certainly there is a giant clock behind us and she is simply counting the minutes until my departure.

This suspicion is strengthened when she says to me, "I have to get back to the office by twelve."

I want to say, "Great, because you suck," but refrain from doing that as well. Perhaps Mum is right and Elizabeth is very stressed about stealing someone's job from them. I'm sure she must feel some remorse deep down in the shell where a heart should sit. I'm almost fifty percent positive she must feel some remorse.

Finally, I can resist no longer. "What are you looking at?" I snap and turn around to see nothing but numerous people moving around behind me and, as I suspected, a giant clock on the wall. I turn back to Elizabeth with a scowl. "What, are you counting down the minutes?"

She doesn't reply and simply continues to eat her salad as though nothing has happened. She learned that from both my parents, who are pros at that. When something happens that they don't want to deal with they simply pretend it never happened. It's actually quite funny to watch, especially if you aren't involved in what's happening.

James could be a prime example of when this takes place. Mum finds, I don't know, a used condom sitting on his bed and instead of shouting at him about a number of things he did wrong, she would throw it away and pretend it was never there.

Elizabeth seems to take on this tactic, for she doesn't ask me not to snap at her in the middle of lunch. Instead, she sips her drink and we continue to sit in silence, each wishing the other wasn't here at all.

I don't know what I expected from this little lunch but I was sure expecting her to talk to me at least part of the time. Perhaps to bug me about Michael or what I decided to wear here today. Nope. She simply pretends I'm not even here.

Well, that was until she says, "My boss is coming over here. Don't speak unless spoken to. Understood?"

I don't even get a chance to reply before I hear, "My, my, if it isn't Elizabeth Potter! I am so happy to see you taking a break! You work much too hard!"

Elizabeth stands up with a gracious smile plastered across her face. I stare up at the man from the Ministry Ball…I can't quite remember his name, come to think about it. I know it's something familiar. Arnold? Arthur…no, silly, that's grandpa…

"And who might this be?" Well, if he doesn't remember my name, then I shouldn't be able to remember his. We're obviously two important people who have better things to worry about than strangers' names…though, I mean, I would like to think I make a good impression and stand out in someone's mind…

"My sister, Rosemary," Elizabeth says. I fight off a grimace. I hate being called Rosemary. No one calls me that, well, only Michael and he's long gone...hopefully.

"Ah! Yes, I remember you," he says, shaking my hand jovially. "I met you with your mother last month. How are you?"

"Very well, and you?" I ask. Do I really care? No, but it always the polite follow up to that question. You almost always have to ask how the other person is doing if they asked you. Otherwise you look like a douche bag.

"Fine, fine," he replies. What the fuck is his name? It's on the tip of my tongue…Augusten…that sounds right. "Well, I must get going. Elizabeth, stop by my office and we'll discuss that promotion."

Oh, sweet Jesus! She's already done it! She's stolen that girl's job already! Wow! She really doesn't waste time or anything. A bit vicious, actually, to do it before lunch.

"Thank you, I'll do that," she replies, her smile seeming a bit strained. Perhaps she feels a bit guilty for stealing some poor girl's job. I'd be. Well, actually, it depends what the job is. Still, I'd feel some guilt for snatching it away from the other person. Probably.

I watch as her boss walks away before I turn to her with raised eyebrows. She sits down again and ignores my obvious need for a chat. After I realize she isn't going to acknowledge me in the slightest, I sit down with as much dignity as I can and continue to eat my sandwich.

"Well, thank you, Roe," she says suddenly, wiping her hands on a napkin. "This was really nice. I've got to get going, though." She makes to stand when I suddenly throw my hand out and latch onto her wrist.

"I've got till twelve," I hiss at her. "It's…" I turn around to glance at the clock, "eleven-fifty. So, you'll sit here with me until twelve."

She gives me an icy look and sinks further into her seat, staring at me defiantly. I take another bite of my sandwich and wipe my hands on my napkin. Then I take a much needed sip of my ice-tea and stand up.

"You can leave now," I say to her.

"Oh, thank you, Master," she snarls, standing up all the same and stalking over to the trash. She throws her food out and places her plate in the waiting bus tub. We walk to the elevators in silence. She jerkily presses the up button and throws me a glare as we step onto the lift together.

The silence inside the small box is deafening and heavy. It swirls around us and will not be ignored, which makes the entire thing so much more awkward. Finally, she turns to me.

"Thank you for lunch," she says. She doesn't sound thankful. Elizabeth turns back to the front of the doors, which show our reflections perfectly. I take a moment to give each of us a close look.

First of all, we look nothing alike. We each got things from our parents, but not the same things. She got Mum's hair and Dad's eyes, while I got Dad's hair and Mum's eyes. She got Mum's nose, while I got Dad's nose. We don't even have the same smile. Hers is much more refined and held back, while I smile like I mean it. It's the same with our laughter. Hers is soft and twinkling, like bells and mine is what Mum calls a "belly laugh." It comes from deep within me and vibrates throughout my whole body. I've also been told my laugh is very contagious.

As I study our reflections in the mirror I see the only thing that we seem to share is our skin. We are both very pale (as one tends to be when holed up in an English castle and such), but it is not that sickly pale that some people get. We have smooth porcelain skin with no blemishes.

I mean, I know we're sisters and whatever, but aren't we supposed to look at least a little alike? Natasha and Shannon Durray are three years apart and they look like identical twins! They have the same eyes and hair and nose and face, basically. What do me and Elizabeth share, besides parents and a house? Nothing. We aren't even the same height. She's about two inches taller than I am, as is everyone I know.

We don't dress the same, either. I' m more laidback about what I were, i.e., I don't give two shits what I put on. I have had the same clothes since I was twelve (when I stopped growing in height and breasts) and I still wear some of them. Whereas Elizabeth has a hissy-fit if she sees someone wearing the same thing she's wearing. Also, she dresses as though she's constantly trying to impress anyone who happens to look at her.

Take now, for instance. She's got her long hair down with a black headband holding most of her hair from falling in her face. She's wearing a pink sweater seat and a gray skirt with black heels. It's so preppy I want to gag myself with a spoon, or something! Mum is always trying to get me to dress more like Elizabeth. But, as I've told Mum over and over again, I can't stand that style and she should be happy that I even make the effort to put a bra on in the morning.

"What the hell are you looking at?"

I snap out of my trance to look at her again with some more focus. Even when she scowls she still manages to look gorgeous. Her face creases in just the right way and with her eyebrows raised it makes her eyes look bigger and greener than they are.

"Your ugly face," I reply without missing a beat. Her scowl deepens and she moves further away from me, as though I'll disappear if she pretends I'm not here. That's fine with me, actually. "What's taking this lift so long?" I snap.

"They're working on the floor below us," she responds. "We have to wait for them to finish."

"How long have we been stopped?"

"Only a minute," she responds. "It'll only take another minute, though."

"How do you know that?" She doesn't answer me, and points, instead, at the small black screen at the right of the doors, just above the buttons. The message that Elizabeth just relayed to me is lazily scrolling across the screen now. "Oh." Well, isn't that convenient?

The lift gives a shudder and we begin again. I lapse into another thoughtful silence in which I pretend Elizabeth isn't standing next to me, checking her watch every ten seconds.

She's always like this. It's very annoying. She treats time with her as though it was a personal gift from God and we were all supposed to be happy she even glances our way. I see her time as punishment for something I did in my past life. I figured I must have been a real awful person if this is the sister I got landed with this time. James actually suggested I probably killed my past-life sister, which seems a bit odd as I could totally see myself killing my present-life sister. You know, just whipping out my wand when she starts to berate me about the countless things I do wrong.

I could probably get along with her so much better if she was just a better person. But, alas, she isn't. She's actually that brutal and cold and dead inside as she radiates on the outside. Sad, really, because we could be the best of friends if she wasn't such a dumb bitch.

The doors open to reveal a busy hallway packed with dozens of people all queing for the lift. I push my way through the crowd and patiently wait for Elizabeth to follow me. She does so and we continue to walk towards the front doors in silence.

"You know," she says suddenly, "this is the first time we've been in the Ministry together since Dad took us. Remember that day?"

I frown, and then I remember it. The memory comes screaming back at me as one of the most boring days of my entire life. Elizabeth enjoyed it though, and as I recall that was what made me realize how bored I actually was. We were never asked back again after that day by either Dad or Mum and I got grounded for at least a month because of what I did to Elizabeth.

Okay, so what happened was that the Ministry had "Take Your Daughter to Work Day" on Wednesdays, and "Take Your Son to Work Day" on Thursdays. This happened only once a year and Mum was really anxious for us to go, stating that we'd regret it when we were older. I do regret it. I regret I missed an entire day of my life to sit in Dad's office.

Well, at first I wasn't bored. I had never seen where Dad worked and so on. It was the first time I was actually allowed to go, in fact. He had never expressed the want to take us with him before this year.

So we get into his office and he takes off his coat and gestures for us to take the two seats he has in front of his desk. He then picked up a folder, opened it and began to work in complete silence. Elizabeth and I stared at him until he looked up at us, seemingly remembering we were still here.

"Oh, er," he said, looking quite confused as to what to do with us. It was Mum who badgered him into taking us, actually. Well, she threatened bodily harm and nights on the couch if he didn't take us. Which, really, was a bit rude. If he didn't want us to go with him then I see no problem in letting me stay home all by my lonesome. "Here." He reached into his desk drawer and took our two small leather bound notebooks. I accepted mine and opened it, wondering if there were going to be some descriptions of criminals they caught.

Nope. It was just an empty notebook with empty pages. Stupid book.

"And, here you go." Dad handed us each an inkwell and a quill. Elizabeth took hers as though Christmas had come early, while I was giving Dad a look of displeasure.

"What do you want us to do with these?" I questioned irritably. I ignored Elizabeth, who was already writing away as though fighting against the clock. I focused all my attention on Dad whose cheeks were currently burning red. It was obvious he hadn't expected us to actually want to see or do something today.

"Well, do what Elizabeth's doing," he responded.

"No," I snapped.

"Roe," he responded threateningly.

"This is bogus," I responded with as much contempt as my thirteen year old body could hold and opened my notebook angrily. I dipped my quill into the ink and put it to the paper, wondering if I would get a jolt of inspiration.

I glanced up at Dad, who was also scribbling upon a piece of parchment. I watched the way his hand would stall briefly before every new sentence as he thought of the right words to say. He would also mouth the words he was writing, so even if he didn't want me to know what he was writing, I could still tell.

"What are you writing?" I whispered to Elizabeth. She fixed me with a steely glare and I fought the urge to turn to my father and point it out to him.

"That," she responded, "would be none of your business, Rosemary."

"Be nice," Dad said absentmindedly from his work.

"Yeah, be nice," I said snottily. Not one of my brightest moments, but still.

"Shut up."

"You shut up!"

"Hey, you both shut up!" Dad interjected. "Roe, go sit over in the corner." I gave a look of outrage and turned towards my new seat.

"Make Elizabeth go!" I snapped.

"No."

"I'm treated just like the family dog!" I snarled.

"Well, that would explain the fleas," Dad said, smirking at me. I scowled at him and went to my new seat, which was actually more comfortable. However, since I was gone Elizabeth leaned in and started talking to our father in hushed voices. I became insanely jealous almost instantly.

Us Potter children rarely got alone time with Dad. He was usually insanely busy, tired or angry or Mum was getting some alone time with him. When we did manage to get with Dad it was always two or the three of us all together. Some of my favorite memories were when Elizabeth and James were away at Hogwarts and it was just my parents and I.

So as I watched Elizabeth talk to him in low voices as though it were a secret I wanted nothing more than to go back over there and force my way into their conversation. However, they were stopped when a loud knock on the door broke them from their conversation.

"Come in!" Dad said. He looked back at Elizabeth. "It's a good point. I'll look into it for you. You know, see what Mum says. Oh, hello, Kingsley!"

I stared at the man in the doorway and took in his earring and shining, bald head. He radiated cool and I wanted to look just like him. I decided to make a point of asking Dad if I could shave my head. I knew he would get all touchy and say no, but still, he might say yes.

"Hello, Harry," Kingsley said. I desperately fought the urge to ask him what kind of products he puts on his head to keep it nice and shiny like that. Perhaps it was just sweat. I could sweat. I do sweat, a lot, actually. Elizabeth doesn't. She "glistens."

"What can I help you with?"

"I was wondering whether you could help me with our…er, suspect," the older man replied. "He's giving us a bit of trouble and I'm thinking maybe the famous Harry Potter can get him to talk."

Dad sighed and got up. When he reached the door he turned to us nervously and said, "Stay." Elizabeth waved him off but I put on a bright smile for him, which made him even more nervous. "I'll be back in five minutes."

"Alright," Elizabeth said, scribbling on her notebook again. She didn't seem to notice that Dad was talking directly to me, telling me to stay put and warning me that he would be gone only minutes.

The office door wasn't even fully closed over when my eyes snapped to his filing cabinets, which were bursting with papers. I wanted to see if he had anything interesting I could read. The hell I was going to sit around like Elizabeth, scribbling poems or suicide notes or whatever she was writing in her notebook.

"What are you doing?" Elizabeth asked shrilly. "Get out of there!" I pretended I didn't hear her and began to flick through the files slowly, finding nothing of interest. "Dad said not to go in there!"

"No he didn't," I responded calmly.

"Well, I'm telling you not to go in there," Elizabeth retorted.

"Oh, right, okay. 'Cuz I'm gonna listen to _you_," I said sarcastically, placing the folder back and reaching for another. This time I found something slightly interesting involving cats and a warehouse, but it wasn't what I was searching for.

"I mean it, Roe! Get out of there this instant!"

"Or what?" I inquired. I opened the folder and peered at the insides. "Oh, hey, look! You're adopted!"

"I am not!" she snapped, snatching the folder from me as she came over to stand next to me. "This is Barry Butler's criminal record, you little brat." She placed it back in the filing cabinet. "C'mon, I'm serious. Put this stuff back before Dad goes crazy."

For once I listened to what she instructed and then quietly went back to my seat. She sat back down and continued to write as though it was the most important thing on the planet and she must get it out in print.

"What are you writing?" I asked again.

"None of your business," she replied without missing a beat. "Stop being so damn nosy."

"I'm just curious!"

She didn't look up at me again and I continued to shuffle my feet on the floor before she looked up at me with a glare. I sighed angrily and got up again. I walked around the office in wonder until I hear Elizabeth clear her throat.

"Sit down, Roe!" she snarled. "I mean it. I don't want to get in trouble because of you!" I could feel her looking at me.

"Stop being such a bitch!" I barked. "I'm not even touching anything. I just want to soak up all I can for this special day so lay off me, you ugly hag."

"You know," she said suddenly, "Dad didn't even want to take you. He actually begged Mum to keep you at home with her because he knew how obnoxious you were!"

I turned to her furiously and she smirked.

"Don't believe me?" she asked mockingly. "That's fine. But really, Roe, why would he want you here? All you do is make trouble for him and he doesn't need that from you. It would do him a good favor if you went home and left us alone. That way he can be with his favorite daughter and not the one who's nothing but a pain in the arse." With that she turned around and I noticed the way her braid hung low in the back.

I'm not sure how I even got a hold of the scissors without her noticing, but the next thing I knew I was holding a red braid in my hand and a pair of scissors in the other. Also, I could hear a piercing scream coming out from my sister's mouth as she realized I had cut off most of her hair.

When Dad returned he looked a bit flabbergasted and confused, as though he didn't know what to do. For my part I was a bit scared of his reaction as his face got redder and redder until he wasn't even yelling at me, just talking very quietly. He was angry that he had to miss work to take us home and fix Elizabeth's hair, which I still had clenched in my hand.

I was grounded for a month, Mum was furious and Elizabeth never hated me more. After that Dad never asked us to come with him again and Mum never tried to force it. Elizabeth should have thanked me, really. In my eyes I was doing her and James a favor.

Now as we stand looking at each other I see Elizabeth's hand move to her hand as though of its own accord. She clears her throat and forces a smile onto her face.

"Well," she says, "I'll be going. See you later, Roe."

"Alright."

We part and I glance at the watch to my left. If I run as fast as I can I can make it to Diagon Alley before I'm very late for my date with Cole. So, I exit the building and hurry down the streets until I come to the familiar entrance. I tap on the bricks and step through into the crowded street.

I see Cole sitting at a table as I come closer, a smile breaking over my face. He catches sight of me and smiles broadly. I feel all the exhaustion that comes with Elizabeth instantly lift off of my shoulders.

"Hello," I say, kissing his cheek as we take a seat inside the café. It was the least populated place in all of Diagon Alley but it became our place as we were constantly going there just to talk and feel like a real couple.

He quickly raps me into a hug and squeezes me tightly as though we've been separated months rather than a day. He nuzzles me neck and then releases me so I can collapse into the seat across from him, with my back towards the door.

"Are you hungry?" he asks, handing me a menu.

"No, I had that lunch with my sister…though, I could go for a freshly baked cookie," I say as I catch sight of them being tilted into the display window behind the counter. "Those look good."

Fifteen minutes later after his sandwich comes and I am eating my through my fourth cookie I notice his eyes are suddenly locked on a spot behind me. His face has turned an awful shade of white.

"Cole, what's the matter?" I ask carefully.

"Oh, God," he replies.

"Cole—"

"It's my father," he says through gritted teeth. I feel as though I've just been punched in the stomach by a giant. The cookies are suddenly fighting to make their way up my throat. "Oh, shit, he's coming over here."

"What do I do?" I hiss. "Should I get under the table?"

"Right, because finding you under the table is going to make this less awkward," Cole snarls. "Just—shh!"

"Hello, Cole," says a voice from behind me. Hopefully I can stay turned away from Mr. Malfoy and he'll go away. "Fancy seeing you here."

"Hi, Dad," Cole responds and gets up to shake his hand. "What are you doing in a place like this?"

"I'm on my way to meet your mother," he replies. "I saw you through the window and I thought I'd pop in and say hello." There is an awkward silence and then, "Hi, I'm Draco Malfoy, Cole's father."

I freeze. I can't ignore his greeting! So, with as much confidence as I can muster I turn around and stand up. His hand is outstretched and I quickly take it and shake it. He peers at me oddly, as though he can't place me.

"Dad, this is Roe," Cole says for me. "My girlfriend."

"Oh, yes, yes, of course!" he says. "Forgive me. You look so familiar…have we met before?" He must be remembering my face in all those Ministry parties we're forced to go to. I breathe a sigh of relief. He obviously doesn't know I'm a Potter.

I clear my throat. "I go to a lot of Ministry functions," I supply for him. His face clears up almost instantly.

"That's where I've seen you from," he says and turns to Cole with a warm smile. "I won't keep you two any longer…unless, would you like to join us?"

Oh, sweet Jesus. I turn to Cole helplessly and see he's already got the same look on his face as I do. He opens his mouth and closes it.

"Of course we would!" I exclaim with forced delight. Cole turns to me with a frustrated glare that I have no choice but to ignore.

"Great!" Draco says happily. "Your mother will be quite pleased."

We exit the café and walk behind him in silence until Cole hisses in my ear, "What the fuck is the matter with you?"

"What was I supposed to say? No?" I hiss back. I slow a little so that Mr. Malfoy can't hear us. That is the last thing I need: for him to hear us bickering like sailors.

"Yes!"

"Oh, like you were doing any better!"

"I actually had an excuse!"

"Oh." Now I feel quite dumb. "Well, why didn't you say anything?"

"You cut me off!"

"Fuck," I mutter and allow myself to be lead into the dimly lit restaurant. Though I just ate four cookies and a giant sandwich, I can't help but feel my mouth water at the glorious smells coming from the kitchen.

"Here we are," Draco says. "Pansy, look what I found."

For the first time I get a good look at Pansy Malfoy. She looks up from her drink and I can immediately tell she's delighted with the mere sight of her son. Her dark blue eyes suddenly seem shades lighter as they light up with delight. Her smile changes her entire face to one of complete warmth rather than a scowl (which I usually see her in). She stands at once and hugs Cole tightly before releasing him and receiving a kiss on the cheek.

"How nice of you to visit us, Cole!" she exclaims, looking at him. "We hardly see you anymore!" Suddenly, she turns to me and I fight the urge to shrink back. However, she smiles again. "And who is this?"

"This is Roe, my girlfriend," Cole mumbles.

"Hello, dear," Pansy says, wrapping me in a hug. "So nice to actually meet one this time! He never lets us meet any of his girlfriends, you know."

"Mum," Cole warns.

"Yes, yes, I know," Pansy replies carelessly. "I'll stop embarrassing you." She makes a face at me and I find myself smiling back. "Dear, I hope you don't mind me saying so, but you look awfully familiar. Have we met before?"

My breathing stalls once again as I see her eyes narrow in an attempt to place me. I know she's thinking of either a Ministry ball or the Coming-Out Ball. Everyone in the wizarding society saw me there. I am only hoping that when it was my turn Cole's parents decided to knock back their drinks or choke on a chicken leg or something.

"That is exactly what I said," Draco says. "Her parents are involved with the Ministry—"

"Oh, isn't that interesting?" she says, peering at me. "Will you be joining us?"

"Actually, we have plans. We're meeting up with some of our friends. Maybe some other time?" Cole says, giving his mother a very pointed look. She eyes him carefully for a fraction of a second before nodding.

"Sounds like a date." Pansy smiles at me again. "You must come for dinner. Just tell Cole when you're free and we'll set it up."

"I will. Thank you."

"Nice to meet you, Roe."

"Yes," Draco says, "very nice to meet you." He gives me a warm smile and not for the first time I wonder just what Dad and Elizabeth were thinking. These don't seem like the type of people who would suddenly turn into blood-thirsty wizards.

"Nice to meet the both of you," I reply quickly. I feel Cole grip my arm tightly and steer me from their table just as I hear Pansy say to Draco, "Dear, we never caught her last name!"

"That was obnoxiously close!" Cole says as soon as we get into the street. "I think that just shaved about ten years off of my life."

"Same here!" I say as we duck around the corner. "How mad would your dad be if he found out I was Roe Potter?"

"I'm not sure…very, probably," Cole replies, looking around the corner before resting his head against mine. "My mother would probably flip her shit. I don't know. Maybe they'd be fine with it."

"You're lucky that wasn't my father who found us," I say to him. "He actually knows who you are."

"Don't act as though that's a bad thing! If my father had known who you were he'd most likely kill me right on the spot." I frown at him and he sighs. "You know, my parents see you the same way your parents see me."

I guess I shouldn't feel upset that his parents wouldn't like me. He is right, too. I'm sure his parents wouldn't like the idea of him dating a Potter…I don't know why, though. We aren't worse or better than the Malfoy's and I am pretty sure my parents have more reasons to hate a Malfoy.

"So I guess this means we can't go to your house and shag?" I ask.

"I don't think I can," he replies, shuddering. "My sex drive has just been killed for at least a week." I raise an eyebrow at him. "Or, a day."

"I have an idea!" I say suddenly.

"What?"

"What if I met your parents and they got to like me a little and then we could just say that I happened to be a Potter."

"I'm sorry, do you have a death wish or something?" he asks incredulously. "That can only end in disaster, Roe."

"Okay, then how about we never let on I'm a Potter? Make up a last name and that way they'll get to know me and then when the time is right we can say I'm a Potter!"

"How is that any different from your previous plan?" he snaps.

"It isn't," I say, "I just reworded it." I give him a look. "Your parents are going to love me! How could they not love me? I'm loveable. If I were any cuter I'd be a kitten!"

"Just because you're talking really fast and babbling doesn't make me want to give in," Cole says, looking down at me. I pout and sigh heavily, to let him know my displeasure. "Okay, I'll tell you what."

"What?" I ask.

"If and when my parents find out that you're a Potter then we tell your parents exactly what we're doing."

I can't seem to find my voice all of a sudden. I have the vision of my father obliterating me as soon as I utter the words "boyfriend" and "Malfoy" in the same sentence. I take a visible gulp and nod defiantly.

"Deal," I say in a choked voice. We shake on it and then I give Cole one last kiss on the cheek. "I'm going to get going."

"Already?" he complains. "Don't go yet. We can go shopping. You like shopping."

"I suddenly don't find the idea of strolling along Diagon Alley comforting anymore," I confess to him. "And don't your parents work or something? What are they doing here on a Monday afternoon?"

"I think it must be my father's lunch break and the only thing my mother works at is her tan," Cole replies with a shrug. "C'mon, your parents aren't going to see us here—"

"I know, but I've got six other uncles, aunts, cousins and a sister and brother. Not to mention grandparents. The idea of what they'd do to me if they saw us or if someone told them…I don't think they would ever trust me again."

Cole doesn't say anything. We have never really talked about how long we were going to keep it quiet but I always figured it would be forever. As of now we are only seventeen and still in school. When and if we get very serious then we'll deal with it. I don't mean the kind of serious where we gaze all doe eyed at each other and discuss our future. I'm talking about a proposal or moving in together. Even then I think I might just send them an invitation to a party and spring the wedding on them all of a sudden. That way the shock will be so intense they'll be struck silent and immobile in the thirty second ceremony I have planned.

"Alright, we don't have to go out. How about coming back to my place? My parents are here and they already know about you…"

"Okay, but I mean it if they start sniffing around me like dogs I'm out of there. The hell I'm getting hexed just so that I can snog you."

"Hey! My snogs are hex-worthy!" he complains. "I think yours are one hundred percent hex-worthy."

"Oh, that's sweet," I say and kiss his cheek. "Then alright, I'll get hexed for a kiss with you. You're right you are definitely worth getting hexed for. Just not by my parents or your father."

"Deal," he says and leaves me with a soft pop. I stare at the spot where he left and exhale completely. In the minute that I am alone I gaze at the wall across from me, my heart beating a million miles a minute.

I think I am having my first ever panic attack. I've seen Elizabeth have dozens of them during testing periods or when a big report is due, but I've never experienced one with myself. To be quite honest they suck. My lungs seem to have closed off in protest of the sudden acceleration in my heartbeat. Soon I shall have brain damage from lack of oxygen. Taking a steadying breath I lean back against the wall and close my eyes tightly.

Dozens of pictures flash before my eyes and there is nothing I can do to stop them. Most of the time my parents drive me up a wall and back again but there is never any doubt that I do love them and I do care what they think…most of the time. Sure, I usually ignore half of what they say to me, but never about stuff that matters, such as a boyfriend. If memory serves correct I was specifically asked not to hang around with a Malfoy and I promised I wouldn't. And now what am I doing? Shagging a Malfoy, which is so much worse than hanging out with one. I've actually allowed our bodies to connect.

I'm pretty sure if my father saw us together or heard of us together he would have a heart attack and die and it would be my entire fault. Actually, no. This is all Cole's fault. If he wasn't so damn gorgeous and nice and caring then it would have been so easy to ignore him when he started bothering me. If he wasn't so nice to me all the time and very considerate then it would be easy to do away with him. I mean, I know that as of right now we're not that serious ( I mean, it's only been a month for crying out loud) I know that I love him in a way I have never really felt for anyone else.

Growing up when Elizabeth or my cousins or even Demi would talk about their wedding I would roll my eyes and get incredibly bored because to me, a wedding seemed like the stupidest thing on the planet. Before Cole it still seemed stupid. The idea of spending the rest of my life with one person seemed laughable. And not because of sex or anything. I wasn't planning on whoreing it up. It was just that people grow at different times and people change. My parents have been married twenty years and not a day goes by that they don't bicker about something or other. Their perfect relationship should have given me comfort, but it didn't. To me it just made me think only Dad is that way, no one else.

I see old married couples and I have no idea how they've managed to do it. Grandma and grandpa are still so in love after all these years together and I couldn't make my two year relationship with Michael last.

Also, I have always been very skeptical of this whole "The One" thing my cousins talk so much about. Like, "I knew he was The One the moment I set eyes on him." He was the one what? And furthermore, how did you know? Was I supposed to look at Cole and get that feeling as well?

I mean, when I do look at Cole I sometimes still get a little fuzzy around the brain and there tends to be a smile on my face, but does that mean I'm in love? I told Cole I love him and I suppose I do, but I just need to know if I am definitely in love with him. What if I think he's the one and then ten years from now I see someone who is The One? Then what? Am I supposed to leave Cole or whoever I'm married to just to be with The One?

This bites.

I guess the biggest question is: If I am in love with Cole and he is The One then am I willing to risk everything for him? My parents, possibly my friends…Is he worth all of that?

I am about to answer that when I realize I must have been standing against the wall for a good five or six minutes. Jumping a bit I leave with a pop and when I open my eyes Cole is standing as though he's been waiting for me.

"There you are!" he says, looking thoroughly relieved. "I was afraid that you got lost or kidnapped or something." He walks into the kitchen and comes back with something in his hands. "Here." I glance down at the plate and see heartshaped cookies sitting in a circle with some haphazardly strewn across the middle.

"What are these for?"

"You."

"Did you make these?"

"Er…well, I overlooked a house-elf doing them." He gives me that big goofy grin that makes my knees go weak and I find myself smiling back at him. "I had them made this morning in anticipation for our arrival. Have some. I had a few while I was waiting for you."

"Thank you." I take a bit and smile at him. "Oh, I'm free this Friday night."

"For what?" he asks.

"Your mother's dinner."

I don't miss the way he suddenly starts avoiding my eye contact. With a sigh I come to stand in front of him with wide eyes. I grasp his shoulders and force him to look at me. He probably only looked up because he was afraid I was going to head-butt him or something, but still.

"You're worth it," I say softly.

"Worth what?"

"Everything. Anything. You're worth it."

There is a brief silence and then he says, "Seven sound good to you."

I close my eyes and smile. "Seven is perfect."

We spend the rest of the afternoon kissing and shagging and eating heartshaped cookies.

A/N A bit short, but the next chapters have better plot and such.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight: Becky and Emily

The next day, after the potentially life-destructing meeting with the parents, Cole suggests something else that could potentially ruin everything. Perhaps he has begun to do this on purpose and give me anxiety attacks. I shall ask him.

Well, what he says is, "How about since I met your friends, you could meet my friends."

I glance up from the magazine I'm flipping through to stare at him. Hopefully I look as though I'm thoroughly confused or upset so that I don't have to tell him I don't want to meet his friends. I would rather gnaw off my own foot then meet his friends who will hate me. Do hate me, actually. And to call them friends is putting it lightly. His friends are demons.

He glances up at me and sees my expression. "What?"

"Well, Cole," I say carefully, tucking my feet under my bum. "Do your friends…er, like me?"

"Sure they do!" he says too quickly. I give him a look and he sighs. "They don't really _know_ you, that's all. I mean, I'm sure they don't even like me that much." Lie.

I smile slightly and give a hefty sigh. "I suppose that because you went and met my friends I could meet your friends."

Cole's groups of friend's are scary. Okay, maybe not scary as much as intimidating. There was no way in hell they couldn't not be intimidating, actually. All their fathers were at some point Death Eaters, though it isn't clear who switched sides and who is still evil. Therefore, no one knows how these kids were brought up or if they're good or bad or not. So, in essence, I could be meeting Death Eaters.

In Cole's little group there were four of them: Cole, whose parents were Draco and Pansy Malfoy. He was almost like the leader of their little gang. He wasn't mean or pompous about it or anything but it always seemed as though it were an unwritten rule that he made all of the plans for them and that they would follow whatever he said. I'm sure he wasn't a dictator or a controller, but if he was they would most likely follow…Well, maybe not. They are Slytherins after all.

Besides Cole was his best friend Sebastian Zabini. He was very tall and very gorgeous. I'm not going to lie. When he came back from Fourth Year summer he looked like a God or something. I was instantly drooling. However, he's an asshole who I can't stand. I didn't have a crush on him, but that didn't mean I couldn't look and admire from afar.

Sebastian has a twin sister who is just as gorgeous and just as nice to look at. They both have the same milky, chocolatey skin. Petra, Sebastian's sister, has long, silky black hair that she always wears down with a black satin headband. She's incredibly gorgeous and incredibly bitchy. I'm sure she has never said anything nice about anyone. Ever.

And rounding out their little group is Theodora Nott. She isn't the prettiest person in the world but she certainly makes up for it in character. She holds an aura that she's so much better than you are and try as you might you begin to believe her after a while. She has long brown hair and really dark eyes that make her nose look bigger than it is.

When the four of them come walking down the hall one can literally see the sea of students part like that scene from the Muggle Bible. The four of them are always together, too. You can hardly ever catch one of them on their own. If not all four then certainly two or three of them are together.

So, really, my fears are not unfounded as Cole's were. Demi wouldn't actually hex him while I'm not so sure about the others in the group who I've never really had a civil conversation with…ever.

"That would be nice," I lie with great difficulty. I'm only satiated by the look of pure delight on Cole's face. He smiles brightly and leans in to kiss me.

"I was thinking we could do it tomorrow night," he says, resuming his article. "Sab's parents are going out of town and he's throwing a little party at his house. Just close friends. He really wants me to go and I won't go unless you go."

"Oh," I say dumbly. "Do they know I'm coming?"

"They will when I tell them," Cole assures me. He catches my concerned look and rolls his eyes. "You know, they're actually nice people once you get to know them. Just be yourself and they'll love you." Right, be myself. Myself is a Gryffindor and they hate us. Even more, I'm a mother-fucking Potter. I am so sure they'll learn to love me. Not.

"Of course they will," I say with false confidence. "Everyone loves me."

"Yes they do," Cole says and kisses my forehead. He jumps up suddenly. "Do you want some butterbeer?"

I give a vague answer and hurries into the kitchen leaving me to dread tomorrow night, which I know is going to be Hell on Earth. I can already tell they'll kill me as soon as I walk into the door.

Though, another thought comes to mind. What if they convince Cole that I'm not good enough or that I'm not worthy of his love or something and he agrees? What if they take one look at me, burst into laughter, and force him to realize that I'm nothing but a Potter, who in the eyes of Slytherins is disgusting? Then what?

"Here." Cole thrusts the cold bottle into my hand. "What time do you have to be home?" he asks, cracking his own bottle open and taking a giant gulp. "I thought maybe we could get dinner or something."

"Mhm," I say, staring off into space. My thoughts are still rigidly focused on all the possible scenarios that will take place the following night. "Oh, er, I'm going to Demi's tonight." I turn to him. "We could get dinner with Frank and Demi if you want."

"If they don't mind," he says, looking back at his magazine. "We could go to the same place that we went last time. You liked it there, didn't you?"

"Not really," I say, thinking of that whorey waitress and her hungry looks at Cole. The hell I'm going to stand by and watch her skanky ass lust after my boyfriend. MY BOYFRIEND.

"Oh, thank God," Cole says. "The food sucked, the chairs hurt my arse and the lighting made me look like a ghost." He turns a page in his magazine and suddenly looks up at me. "It says here that fifty-six out of a hundred women admitted to looking at porn." He raises his eyebrows at me as though to ask.

"And?" I snap.

"Do you?"

"That's rude," I retort.

"No it isn't!" he objects. "I'm not asking to be sexy or anything, I'm generally curious." I'm surprised that he isn't even embarrassed to ask me that but he can't even see a tampon without having a complete mental collapse. "Oh, come on, Roe!"

"Of course I look at porn, Cole!" I say haughtily. "Lesbian porn. Lots of it, too. Happy?" I glare at him only to see him roll his eyes as though I've annoyed him. "What article is that?"

"'Why Women Look at Porn,'" he replies.

"Glad to know you pool all of your brain cells into something productive and useful," I say, tugging at a sleeve.

"This is useful," he replies without looking up. "I'd want to know if my girlfriend looks at porn—"

"This isn't some sort of macho thing, is it?" I ask. "I'm not tossing myself off to the porn, Cole. I look at it because sometimes it's interesting. Those magazines are filled with important stuff girls need to know. That's why I suggest you read some of those girly magazines. They tell you exactly what women want."

"Hell no am I reading one of those magazines Demi carries around," he replies. "They advertise…women's products right on the front cover!" He suddenly blushes. "Plus, they say crap like, 'How to better enhance your orgasms' and stuff like that. How am I supposed to buy something like that, let alone read it?"

"I read porn to make you happy!" I shout at him in an attempt to refrain from laughing, though I think he can see the way my mouth is twitching upwards. "Besides, not all those magazines have stupid stuff on the cover. You could make it look like a Quidditch Weekly if you wanted to."

"They're still kind of just for girls," he says to me.

"My brother reads them," I say.

"Your brother is weird."

"He isn't weird, he's a slut," I remind Cole. "My brother is a slut and my sister is a greedy attention whore…Actually, you know what, that's very insulting to whores." He laughs and shakes his head. "Lunch with her yesterday was, oh how do I put this?, awesome!"

"Sounds it," Cole says with a smirk.

"She kept glancing at the clock the entire time, counting down the minutes until I would leave." I shake my head bitterly and glance over at him. He's giving me an odd look. "What?"

"Nothing," he says, blushing. "I just…Why don't you two get along? You're sisters!"

I sigh. "Right. The only thing we share is DNA and parents…and a brother and, er, other family members. Other than family we have nothing in common."

"Still, don't you even try to get along?"

"I try!" I snap. "I took her out to lunch, didn't I?" He gives me a look. "Well, alright, maybe I don't really make an effort to get along with her, but that's just because I don't want to. I kind of like not getting along with her."

"What?" he asks incredulously. "You're honestly saying that it doesn't matter that you two fight all the time and will never be close when you move out? I mean, come on, Roe! What happens when you have kids? Will they be close?"

"No," I say. "Elizabeth is very, very weird, Cole. You just don't know her very well, that's all. She's kind of a bitch. All the time."

"I don't believe that," Cole says.

"Trust me," I say angrily. "She's a bitch."

"But—"

"What," I say, stressing the word, "is your problem? You've never met my sister! Take it from me; she's a crazy, moody, evil bitch!"

"Sorry," Cole mutters. "I don't have siblings so I guess I don't know what it's like to have them, but I've always wanted them and I can't see the point in fighting with them all the time." I glare over at him and he recoils slightly. I think he's done, but he goes on. "One day your parents aren't going to be there and all you'll have left will be your siblings."

"Low blow," I mutter, closing my magazine angrily. "Well, thank you, you've bummed me out. I'm going home now."

"Oh, alright, I'm sorry," Cole says hastily. "Stay. We'll—"

"What, Cole? We'll shag? Is that what you were going to say?" I ask with an arch to my brow. "What makes you think I want to touch you right now?"

"Your hand is on my knee," he points out.

"I'm bracing myself to get up," I snap, standing haughtily. "Good day to you. I'll owl you the time for dinner. You can still come if you stop talking about my sister and my brother and basically anything to do with my family." As I try to stalk from his living room with mangled dignity he reaches out and catches my hand.

"I'm sorry," he says sincerely. "I didn't mean to upset you."

"It's okay," I say with a hefty sigh. I bend down and catch his mouth for a kiss. "I know you didn't mean to. I'll owl you the time, alright?"

"Sure," he says. "And don't forget the party tomorrow night. I'll tell Sebastian I'm bringing someone with me."

"Will you tell him who you're bringing?" I ask pointedly.

"I sure will," he replies, though I think he may be lying. He puts on a bright smile and I find myself smiling back despite my better tries. His smile always, always does that to me. It's infectious and heartwarming and all he has to do is smile at me during a fight or a disagreement and I find myself smiling back despite my protests.

"Buh-bye for now, my dear," I say, stepping into his fireplace. I leave with a giant green eruption and try to stay as steady as I can until I come to an abrupt stop. I stumble out of the fireplace and into my own living room.

"Where were you coming from?"

I glance up quickly and see James sitting on the sofa. My stomach clenches painfully as I realize that I should have Apparated. There is no way to check where I came from if I Apparated.

"Demi's," I lie easily, tucking some hair behind my ear. "What are you doing home on a Tuesday morning?"

"It's actually three in the afternoon, Roe, and Demi just came here looking for you about ten minutes ago. So, tell me, where were you really?"

It feels as though my insides have turned to ice. I can not do anything but stand stock still looking at James with complete and utter fear in my eyes. All I can do is hope a plausible story comes to my mind in the next second or I'm completely screwed.

"Don't tell Mum or Dad," I warn, trying to buy time.

He arches an eyebrow at me. "It depends," he says.

"Depends? Depends on what?" I snarl.

"On what you'll do for me," he says with that voice an older brother obtains when he has good dirt on a little sister.

"What I'll do for you?" I repeat angrily. "Well, what I'll do for you is I won't tell Mum and Dad you fucked the Minister's daughter in the bathroom at a Ministry ball."

"Okay, first of all, we didn't have sex and second of all keep your voice down, you spaz. I wasn't serious. Merlin!" He looks behind him to make sure no one else is standing in the kitchen. "I was kidding, too, about you telling me. I could care less where you've been. If I don't know, I can't get in trouble if you get caught. If you're doing something wrong, that is, which I don't want to know about. In fact, I haven't even seen you yet."

"Yeah…thanks," I say to him and hurry past him to the stairs. I go up them two at a time and rush to solace of my room where I have to write an angry owl to Demi about popping up unexpectedly.

As soon as the owl flies out of sight I flop onto my bed, my head still reeling with how easy I got off with James. He could, in fact, hold that over my head. Well, maybe. I don't know how worried Mum or Dad would be if he said I wasn't really going to Demi's. The last thing they think I'm doing is shagging a Malfoy. Until they get suspicious I think I'm set.

I'm still waiting for a reply from Demi when there's a crack to my right and, in the flesh, Demi is standing in my bedroom looking just as livid as I ferl. We eye each other for a moment before we start in on each other at the same exact time.

My, "What the bloody hell do you think showing up here in the middle of my living room, you idiot?" collides painfully with her, "Do you think you could possibly _warn_ me not to come looking for you if you're not going to be here so I don't blow your fucking cover and get blamed, you skanky twat!"

Then, again at the same time, "What did you call me?"

"Oh, this is so stupid," Demi says to me. "Listen, tell me when I'm not supposed to come around here and I won't come around here."

"I'm sorry," I say. "I forgot to tell you that I was going to be at…Bob's today."

"Yeah, you hang out with Bob a lot, lately."

I look over her in shock. I'm sure there is a surprised look plastered on my face so I try to mask it with indifference. "What do you mean by that?" I ask carefully.

She sighs. "Nothing. Forget I even said it," she says, looking sheepish.

"No, Demi, come on! We tell each other everything," I say hurriedly. It is not a good sign if she no longer feels she can tell me everything. We have a very in-depth, unhealthy relationship. We know each other's business all the time and we never, ever answer with "Nothing" when asked what's wrong. We say exactly what's on our minds so that it can be fixed and we can go back to being best mates.

"Ever since you and Bob started going out, Roe, you haven't been around to talk to! I have to hang out with Frank like every day now!"

"Demi, I—"

"No, let me finish," Demi snaps. "When I started going out with Frank I didn't ditch you to make time for him, did I?"

"That's because he was already our friend," I say. "We already hung out with him all the time anyways."

"My point," she snarls, "is that you push me out to make time for Bob—oh, fuck it, Cole when I didn't do that to you. I literally cringe at the way this sounds, but I can't help it. You've backed out of our plans the last three times I've tried to get together with you."

"Demi," I say, coming over to her. "I'm sorry. I really am. I didn't realize what a bitch I was being. I don't mean to do that to you."

"I know," she replies, giving me a smile. "We're still going to dinner tonight, right?"

"Er…yeah," I say, blushing slightly. "And would it be alright if Cole could come, too?" I chance a glance at her to see her giving me a look. She nods nevertheless.

"Sure! The more the merrier!" she says jovially. "However tomorrow night there's no boyfriends, no parents, just you, me and a gallon of ice cream."

"Tomorrow? What's tomorrow?"

"Our sleepover," she says with narrowed eyes. "You said that without a doubt you'd be free for tomorrow."

"Oh, no!" I cry.

"What?" she snaps.

"I promised Cole I'd go to a party with him tomorrow."

"A party? What kind of a party?"

"Well, it's just with some friends…" She raises an eyebrow. "Some of his friends," I amend.

"Ugh!" she cries. "You're ditching me to spend the night with some slimy Slytherins?" She glares at me and I recoil slightly.

"I forgot all about our sleepover, Demi, and I promised Cole—"

"Right, well, wouldn't want our precious Cole to be disappointed, now would we?" she says scathingly. "We're going to be there at seven. Tell him not to be late this time." She leaves with a very agitated pop. I stood staring at the place where she left feeling a bit of shame creeping into me.

She was completely right. Not once in the nearly three year relationship that was Frank and Demi did she abandon me to go hang out with Frank. True, he has been our friend for as long as I can remember and he already hung out with us all the time.

I think we became friends with Frank when we got to Hogwarts. Demi and I had been friends already since diapers so we sat together on the train. The compartment door opened and Frank appeared looking timid and nervous. He fidgeted ever so slightly and pointed to the seat next to Demi and asked, "Is that seat taken?"

Demi had shaken her head and pushed her bag over so that he could have more room. We went on about our conversation as though Frank wasn't there, until he suddenly jumped in and stopped Demi from ranting. She had turned to him, eyebrows raised as if to ask "How dare you?"

Luckily, Frank had a good point to make and Demi simply smiled at him when he finished. After that he hung out with us all the time. We ate together and did everything together as a trio. It was almost an unspoken rule that he was off-limits. When our friendship was still fresh and new in First Year I didn't have any feelings for Frank (never have, actually) and neither did Demi. Neither of us ever got boy crazy as most of the other girls in our Year did.

However, in Third Year I could see our little group cracking right down the middle with Demi and Frank on one side and me watching helplessly from the other. Even though she never really came out and told me I knew she had a raging crush on Frank and he had one just as big on her.

It was a bit odd at first to think of Demi with someone like Frank. Sure, he was sweet and incredibly smart but he was a bit of a klutz and he didn't look like he could win in a word-battle with Demi. He could and can and has, but he doesn't look it to other people who don't really know him. To everyone besides me they seemed like an odd match, but in actuality they were perfect for each other.

So, once they established a relationship in October of Fourth Year it was kind of weird at first, obviously. It couldn't not be weird. I went from not minding if Frank saw me changing in the Quidditch locker room to suddenly being aware that he had his tongue in my best mate's mouth. Frank isn't even really a boy to me, really. He's asexual and I think of him in a romantic way as much as I think of James in that way. Frank doesn't have a penis in my mind.

It was very easy to be with them because they weren't obnoxiously lovey-dovey with each other, as I feared they might be. They didn't stare into each other's eyes for hours on end. Nothing really changed except sometimes they would kiss when the urge struck them.

The only major, defining change came when they shagged in Fifth Year. That was when I knew they were really dating and it wasn't some stupid puppy-love or something. I knew they were both very serious with each other. You have to be if you're shagging someone. Well, as my mother told me in a sly, almost pleading way, you should be in love when you lose your virginity. Oops, my bad.

And they did try their best even after they shagged to keep me involved as if nothing was different. And nothing was different. The three of us did everything together, sometimes with Michael along with us. It was nice and I learned to love the idea of Frank and Demi together. If they ever broke up I think I would cry right along with Demi. Though, even if they did break up they would still be best friends.

Demi has said to me on a once that Frank has already hinted they since they're both of age (Frank in March and Demi in April) and will be graduating in a year that he's going to propose soon.

Don't get me wrong, that would be wonderful, but the selfish part of my brain is stamping its foot and shaking its head. If they get married then what will become of our friendship? Who has sleepovers with their best friends after they're married? No one I know!

My biggest fear is that we'll lose contact with each other because family life is overwhelming. I know I've been a bit lax in my relationship with Demi as I try and figure out my relationship with Cole, but I could not imagine my life without her. Being best friends with her has been one of the best things that could have happened to me and I thank Merlin every day that her parents tried so hard and my parent's forgot to do the spell. If I had never been born or if I was born in a different time I would never have met her. It's kind of funny how fate works. If my parents waited even a second longer than they did I wouldn't be here.

I heave a sigh and pick up some parchment and send it off to Cole with the time and place of our dinner. It is going to be awkward and tense. Can't wait!

OoOoOoOo

Demi isn't talking to anyone. Well, she's talking to Frank, but she has to talk to Frank. He will be the only one to take her side in a fist fight at this point. I can totally tell Demi was surprised we showed up at all. I think she expected me to back out and go somewhere else with Cole.

"Oh, you came" was what she said when we got there at seven exactly. "I didn't make reservations for four, so we'll have to wait."

"That's fine," Cole offered quickly.

So, we waited ten minutes until a table for four opened up and we went and sat down. Demi opened her menu silently and ordered without looking at any of us. Now she's talking to Frank in low voices as though we're not even here and it's just a table for two.

This is the longest fight we've ever had. Wait, no. The longest fight we had was when we were five. She had the last cookie even though she knew I wanted it so I ripped the head off of her teddy bear and handed it back to her after I buried the body. We didn't talk for a whole day. We only made up when James angered a nest of bees and got stung. Demi and I found it so funny we re-bonded over it.

"You know, you can't hate me forever," I hiss at her across the table.

She turns to me slowly. "Watch me," she snarls.

"I will not!" I snap. "I'm sorry, Demi! What would you like me to do to make this right? Cancel? Do you want me to flake out on that, too? Aren't you accusing me of being a flake?"

"No! I'm not accusing you of anything. I just hate that you've turned in to one of those girls, Roe!"

"What kind of girl?" I snap.

"Becky Headings," she snarls.

I open my mouth to reply and find myself closing it almost instantly. Becky Headings was best best best friends with Emily Harding. They did everything together and I was pretty sure they were lesbians until Becky went and got a boyfriend. He was a year older but they managed to see each other all the time. All of a sudden you saw Becky and Daniel (her boyfriend) walking through the halls hand in hand with Emily trailing miserably behind. These girls were so close they had their periods at the same time. Now they barely see each other and have completely lost touch. It's so sad.

"I am not Becky Headings!"

"You're getting there, Roe!"

"Who's Becky Headings?" Cole questions.

"Quiet!" Demi snarls at him and turns back to me. "Really? You're not Becky? Well, maybe you're not yet but you are rapidly heading towards being her and I'll be damned if I'm going to be Emily."

"I don't want you to be Emily!" I say. "I don't want to be Becky! I'm just trying to balance everything out so that I can have both of you!"

From next to me I hear Cole ask Frank, "Do they always speak in codes?"

"Yes," Frank says dully. "And it's a waste of time to try and figure them out. They could be talking about anything right now."

"It isn't hard to try and even us out, is it?" Demi asks angrily. "It's very easy. You stop being such a scatter brain and remember when you've made plans with me and when you've made other plans! How hard is that?"

"I've done it once, Demi! Give me a break!"

"Maybe now it's once but pretty soon you're going to start doing it all the time! I'll have to wait for you to 'check you calendar' to see when you're free before we can hang out and even then something unexpected will come up and you'll bail on me!" she says miserably.

"I will not!" I object. "I forgot this one time and only this time! It will never happen again. I don't want to bail out on you and I don't do it on purpose, you know."

"Of course I know that, you idiot, and I never implied you did," she snaps. "I am just telling you that I will not become Emily and I will kick your arse if you try and become Becky. She has such bad hair."

I give a giggle, waves of relief washing over me. It's over. Our fight is drawing to a close, I can already tell. Demi joking is a very, very good sign. When she's angry it's like the end of the world or something. No one can joke, she doesn't joke…basically, jokes do not exist if Demi is in a bad mood. All around her have to find alternate ways to cheer her up. Sometimes Frank can joke with her, only because he seems to know exactly what to do when I fail, which is not very often.

"She does," I agree. "Stringy."

"Greasy."

"You're right, I don't want to be Becky."

"And I so don't want to be Emily."

"So lets not."

"Oh, agreed."

We go the rest of the night chatting merrily besides one confused boyfriend and one so used to it he isn't bothered to figure out what we were fighting about. No doubt Demi will have told him already or will tell him before the night's close.

"How about," I say as we leave, "you and me have a sleepover Sunday night. We'll get the ice-cream and just lay around my house with no bras."

"Sounds great," she says. She gives me a hug that I happily return and then releases me. "Well, we're going to go. I told my parents we'd be back at ten and we still have forty-five shagging minutes left. We're going to Frank's house."

"Have fun," I say sarcastically. "Bye, Frank." He doesn't quite meet my eye when he waves. Demi totally embarrasses him when she talks about the two of them shagging. He was so mortified when she told her parents; he wouldn't come over for almost four months, convinced they would want to talk about it as soon as he got there.

On the subject of Frank and Demi shagging, I can not help but be a little jealous that they always seem to know when and where they'll be doing it. I mean, Demi gets to wear sexy underwear, probably. I don't know that for a fact, as I don't really want to know what Frank likes or dislikes in the bedroom, but they always know exactly when it's going to happen, how long they'll have, what they'll do after and so on. Cole and I do it when we have literally minutes. And it's always unplanned so the sexiest thing he's seen me in was some pink cotton panties and a white bra. Mhm. I'm delicious.

Also, because they know how much time they'll have together they get to make love more than I do. For example, Demi has confided in me, her best mate, that she and Frank shag several times a week but make love twice a week.

When I asked what she meant she said, "You know, slow and romantic with lots of kissing and foreplay. Stuff like that."

I got what she meant then. Foreplay with me and Cole consists of him making the attempt of pushing dirty magazines under the bed and throwing his comforter over his rumpled sheets. Even when we do get down to it I'm sure we're just shagging, not making love. We do it and then quickly dress and stand apart from each other in case someone walks in. Well, I'll just have to make the attempt of really doing it when there's no chance of us getting caught and with hours to spare.

"I'm sleepy. Take me home," I say to him.

"Right. I'll just casually walk into your house, say a quick hello to your parents and then head on home. Sure, that'll work."

"Ooh, sarcasm, I was kidding," I say, snuggling into his chest. "Fine then. Kiss me goodbye, I'm going home. I have to be home by ten, anyways."

"I wish we didn't have to say goodbye all the time," he said casually, as I prepared to depart. "You know, like married couples get to wake up together."

"I know. It's one of those odd perks of living together," I say, raising my eyebrows at him. He gives me a look.

"I just meant maybe you could tell your parents you're sleeping at Demi's and we could have a sleepover or something."

"When?"

"Maybe this coming Thursday? My parents are going out of town and I'll have both houses to myself. We could lounge around without worrying my parents are going to burst in on us." He grimaces and I know what he's thinking of. He told me (with much persistence on my part) that the first time he ever brought a girl to his room to shag his mother walked in on them in the middle of it. He had been so embarrassed he said he couldn't look his mother in the eye for nearly a year.

That will never happen with me, though I do wish it would happen to James some day. Hopefully before he moves out so they'll know he does it while they're at home, possibly downstairs reading or having dinner. I'll have to set that up.

"Sounds fantastic," I say, leaning in to his kiss. "I'm all excited now."

"And don't forget about the party tomorrow. Where should I meet you?"

"Erm," I say, loosing my verbal footing. "By the lake?"

"Sure. I'll be there at seven."

"What should I wear?"

"Clothes."

"Oh, really? I thought I'd go naked." He gives me a smirk and I fight the urge to smack his arm. "I'm serious, Cole. What kind of party is it?"

"Casual, definitely. Wear pants and a shirt or a skirt or a dress or something." He obviously knows nothing about how the female mind works. You say dress and about a thousand different styles come to mind.

"Right," I say, lost in thought. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Count on it." He gives me a kiss and leaves with a pop, only for me to leave as well within seconds of his leaving.

OoOoOoOo

It's six o'clock and I officially have nothing to wear that would impress people who hate me. I don't even know why I give a fuck, but I fear if they hate me so will Cole. Erg, just the thought makes my mouth run dry. I don't want Cole to hate me, especially since I like him very, very much.

"How does this make me look?" I force my head through the hole in the hanger and dangle it around my neck as I rush into the hall. James eyes me critically before shrugging.

"Like you've got a hanger around your neck."

"I'm serious!" I shout.

"I don't have a vagina, Roe. I have no idea how you look. Nice. Not fat."

"Why did you offer to help me, then?"

"Because I never thought I'd see the day you'd have wardrobe problems! I thought you needed me to uncap your inkwell again."

"Where's Elizabeth?" I snap.

"I have no idea."

"Mum?"

"Same."

"Dad?"

"Kitchen."

"Dad!" I shout, hurrying over to the banister. "Can you tell me how I look?"

"Gorgeous," he replies from within the kitchen.

"You can't even see me!" I wail. "You don't even know what I'm wearing!"

"But I know whatever you're in you look amazing," he replies. Well, if that isn't a conditioned response I don't know what is.

"Where are all the women in this house?" I bellow, going back into my room. James follows me awkwardly. "What about this?" I pick out another dress and hold it up to my body to see how it looks. "Does that look nice?"

"Er, yes, yes it does."

"It doesn't make me look fat?"

"I have no idea. You're holding it over three other dresses. You look a little bulky right now." He dodges the inkwell I fling at his head and scowls at me. "If you have nothing to wear why don't you go raid Elizabeth's closet?"

"Because—" I break off and turn to him. "That's…genius." I yank the hanger off from around my neck and go down the hall to Elizabeth's room. The door is closed over, as usual, but it open when I turn the handle and push.

"You don't think she's got it bugged or booby trapped, do you?" James asks cautiously, looking in fearfully. "Maybe she puts wards up when she's not home."

That does sound like something Elizabeth would do. Before I can say anything back James has picked me up by my arms and chucked me into the room. I stumble on my feet and wait for a giant ball of fire or a trap door to come and get me. When none of these do I turn to James with a glare.

"What have I and mum told you about manhandling me? I'm littler than you are!" I snarl, pushing the hair out of my eyes. "You're going to throw me out of a window one day, James, and will you be sorry then?"

"How little do you think you weigh that I'll be able to hoist you out of a window?" he retorts. "And what are you getting so worked up about?"

"Because you're going to hurt me one—"

"No, I mean running around the house half dressed with dresses hanging off your neck," he says, raising his eyebrows at me. "Do you have a date? Does this have anything to do with where you were the other day when you lied to me?"

"No," I snap, my cheeks igniting. "I'm going out to eat with Demi in a nice restaurant and I want to look nice."

"For Demi?" he asks.

"Yes," I say slowly, "for Demi."

"So, gay now, are you?"

"Just because I want to look my best for dinner with my best mate doesn't make me gay, you homophobic arse."

"Say what you want but you don't see me running around in my knickers looking for the perfect tie when David and I go out." He gives me a pointed look.

"You have knickers?" I ask.

"No," he says, suddenly flustered as his pride takes a slight beating. "I have boxers. Manly, butch boxers." He grumbles at me. "Like I said, you don't see me running around in my boxers to go meet up with David."

"Why would you just be in boxers to go meet David?" I ask, trying to mix him up and get him so flustered he'll leave.

"What? I never said that!"

"Yes you did. Why would you just wear underwear to go see David?"

"I'm not gay!" he bursts out suddenly.

"I didn't think you were," I reply. "I do now."

He glowers furiously at me.

"What I meant was," he says through clenched teeth, "was that I don't see why you're making such a big deal about tonight."

"You're a boy. You don't know that when girls go out with each other they like to be in their best clothing at all times."

"Roe, I've seen you walk out of your room in nothing but a giant t-shirt, no bra, hair and teeth not brushed on your way to Demi's. Are you really trying to say that all of this is for Demi who has seen you first thing in the morning?"

I want to slap him. Of all the days that he has to be on top of everything he picks today of all days when I'm already at wits end. He couldn't have chosen this day to be high or incredibly nice.

"Oh, alright! I have a blind date tonight and I want to look nice because I am in desperate need for a shag. I want to HAVE SEX!" I bellow at him. "Happy? Your little sister wants to look nice so that whoever I'm meeting tonight will want to shag me!" There, at least that's half the truth. I do want Cole to still want to shag me after tonight.

"I'm sorry, did you just ask me if I was happy with that little revelation?" he snarls at me. "The hell I am helping you look for something so some grubby little wanker will put his hands on you."

"You know, for other girls it's _you_ that's the grubby little wanker."

"Yeah, and I know exactly how minds like mine work, thank you very much. You're not going out tonight." He raises his eyebrows to further his point.

"Oh, fuck you, yes I am," I snarl.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Dad!" James bellows, walking into the hallway towards the balcony. "Get up here right now! I need your help!"

"What are you doing?" I hiss.

"You can repeat what you just said to me to Dad and we'll see if you're going anywhere anymore ever."

I hear Dad's footsteps coming up the stairs hurriedly. He obviously thinks we've gotten into such a big fight we've resorted to magic and that I've gained an upper hand, which I'm not sure is at all hard to imagine.

"I'll tell him about all the stupid stuff you do, James, I swear I will." I'm getting desperate. My stupid, huge mouth has mucked everything up again. Oh, why, oh why couldn't I have said anything else in the entire world? Why did I have to tell my big brother I wanted to get shagged?

"Yeah, like what?"

"Like, how about that Dad's Firebolt didn't get stolen, you snapped it in half and buried the pieces down by the lake," I say. "Or that you smoke pot in here all the time. And you have an insatiable porn addiction. Or how about that you let the Minister of Magic's daughter go down on you in the middle of an honorary Ball for something Aunt Hermione put together."

"What's going on in here?" Dad asks as he comes to the doorway, wand already in his hand as though mentally preparing himself for combat. I turn to James worriedly, only to see him fighting an internal battle. I know immediately that I've won. He looks quite downtrodden.

"Never mind," James says in defeat. He glares daggers at me and I mentally sigh in relief as Dad hesitates in the door. "Really, Dad, I figured it out by myself. Thanks, though. Nice reflex time."

Dad eyes me suspiciously before backing away from the door and then walking back down the hall out of sight. I poke my head out and check to see if he's gone and then close the door over, glaring at James.

"I was kidding," I snap.

"And don't you ever, ever tell Mum or Dad anything," he warns.

"Oh, as if," I retort. "Like they need to know they raised a pervert. It isn't fair to them, you know, if I told them. But if I get backed into the corner I will, just be warned." James gives me a look. "I don't want to get shagged tonight. I do want to look good, though and I would like your help seeing as you're a passable example of a male."

"Alright, fine," he mumbles. "Though I have no idea what you're going to find in Elizabeth's closet that even resembles modern clothing. I'm surprised they aren't medieval ball gowns in here or something." He pushes through them with disinterest.

Suddenly something towards the very back catches my eye and I look at it with mounting excitement. It is almost too good to be true, I conclude as I pull the hardly worn dress from the back of the closet.

The dress is really gorgeous and a dark, rich emerald green and was probably bought with Elizabeth's eyes in mind. I hold it up in front of the mirror and look at it wonderingly. What better to wear to a Slytherin party than a bright green dress? It basically says "I come in peace."

"Go away, I've found the dress," I say to James's reflection. I see him staring at the dress in a way that assures me he thinks it's ridiculous. "What?"

"Nothing. That green just reminds me of Elizabeth and Dad," he says. I glance down at it and realize he's right.

"Great, now all I can think of is Dad."

"Job's done," he says with satisfaction and walks out of the room without a backward glance. I glare at the doorway and turn back towards the mirror and then decide to hurry out of here before Elizabeth pops in suddenly.

I scurry back to my room, dress in hand and close my door over. My shirt is yanked over my head and my shorts pushed down so I can pull the dress on. My hips are slightly bigger than Elizabeth's (of course) so it's a little tight there, but my boobs thankfully fill out that area. This has to be an old dress if I am producing Elizabeth-rivaling cleavage. She has really big boobs and I do not. I'm not flat-chested, far from it, but she is much bigger than me.

I grab my brush and pull it through my hair a dozen times before looking back at the mirror critically. I put on the bracelet Dad and Mum got me and slip on some flipflops. I suppose my appearance is passable, but I need some girl confirmation. Dad will just tell me I'm gorgeous as he's been trained to do and James will tell me I look like a hag so that I won't go out and shag my made-up date.

I owl Demi and pray she's home. Meanwhile I pace around my room and stop to glance at my reflection every so often to see if it's changed and I'm now uber-gorgeous or something.

I'm not ugly. I've never been called ugly by anyone except my siblings and at some point all siblings exchange the clichéd sparring words. I've never taken them to heart and I hope Elizabeth and James haven't either. Because neither of my siblings are ugly. They are really, really beautiful people.

But me, I don't know, there has always been something different about me. I'm small in almost every proportion. I'm slender, petite, tiny, whatever you want to call it, I'm a very tiny person. I have small hands and feet with delicate fingers and toes. My hair is really long and silky and that's only because I abuse it with products and threaten it with scissors and hair dye. It rarely listens to me and I'm sure my hair hates me, so I've taken to thinking of it as my first child. The only thing that's really big about me is my laugh. When I laugh I tend to get those around me to laugh despite what's going on around me.

I just think I look a bit plain, or something. As I turn different angles in the mirror I wonder if I'm just another silly teenage girl who thinks they're uglier than they are. I'm not sure though, as I've always been afraid to ask anyone.

I let out a shriek when there is an unexpected pop to my left. I see Demi standing in my room, hands on her hips, in the mirror.

"Well? What is your big emergency, then? I was in the middle of something!" I wince as I see her shirt isn't buttoned correctly. "Roe?"

"I'm pretty, right?" I ask stupidly.

"Did you pull me away from my boyfriend to ask me if you're pretty?"

"Er, yes?" I say. I turn to her. "Am I?"

"Oh, Merlin, Roe!" she snarls at me. "Of course you're pretty!"

"You're not just saying that?" I ask.

"Who am I? Your mother or something? Of course I'm not just saying that. You are gorgeous. Beautiful. You hurt my eyes when I look at you sometimes." She smiles at me. "Happy?"

"Yes. How do I look?"

"Stunning," she says. "Twirl for me." I spin for her and she smiles approvingly. "Where did you get this dress?"

"Elizabeth's closet," I reply.

"That's brave of you," she responds. "It's nice, though. Here, wear your hair up, though. It's a backless dress. Hasn't anyone taught you about fashion?"

"Obviously not," I say. She twists my hair up nicely and pins it back for me. I gaze approvingly in the mirror and smile happily. "Thank you, Emily."

"Very funny," she snaps, smirking. "If you're done having a mental breakdown I'm going to go home now. Hopefully before Frank decides to take a nap or eat an entire gallon of ice-cream again."

"Okay." We air kiss and she leaves with a pop.

I hurry out the door, anxious to avoid James before he decides all the yelling he'll get from Mum is worth it and he tells Dad all I want to do tonight is get shagged, which I totally don't. I just want to leave with a boyfriend still intact, that's all.

"I'll be back by eleven, Dad!" I call, hurrying out the door before he, too, can come and talk to me. I skid down the path and see Cole waiting for me. He looks relieved when he sees me and his face breaks into a giant smile.

"I thought you ditched me," he says. "You look gorgeous."

"Thank you," I say, unable to suppress a blush. "So do you."

"Oh, hush," he says jokingly, acting as though I've embarrassed him. "Are you ready to go?"

"Yes," I say nervously. "They won't throw things at me, will they?" I ask suddenly. I've never been intimately with these people. I don't know how vicious they can be or if they're going to be really mean or nice or what. I am on guard because if their biting comments as we passed in the halls were any indication they're not going to be nice to me tonight.

"No…well, I don't know. Don't make any sudden movements in front of them."

"You're teasing me," I snap. "Very nice thing to do to your girlfriend, Cole."

"Oh, is _that_ who you are? Hmm, and here I was thinking you were just the nice girl who shags me."

"I won't be if you don't cut that out," I warn him.

"Sorry."

"Let's go."

I clench my eyes closed and feel us lift off from the ground, my whole body tight with anticipation.

A/N Sorry, you'll have to wait until next chapter. Hope you enjoyed. Please read and review. Also, can anyone tell me if there is an actual character called Daphne Greengrass or something like that? I've seen that name in dozens of stories and whatnot and I am very confused as to who the hell she is. Thank you.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine: The Slytherin Party

When I open my eyes I am standing in front of quite possibly the most lavish mansion I have ever seen in my entire life. The grounds of the house are breathtaking all on their own, but coupled with the giant house it gives such an impression that I already feel inferior, something no doubt done on purpose.

"Holy shit!" I exclaim, looking up at the giant house. "This is the biggest house I've ever seen in my entire life!" I gaze at it in wonder. Though, I would never want a house this big. For one I would be afraid that someone could break in and then live in my house and I wouldn't even know. How creepy would that be? You know, one day I'm walking down the East wing and some guy comes out wearing a bathrobe and says he's been in that room for a year. No thank you.

Also, what the hell do you do with a hundred rooms (as Cole has just revealed to me is the exact number this house has)? There is only so much unnecessary crap one can have before even that runs out and you have empty rooms. Just vacant, dusty rooms where homeless people come and live.

In our house we have fourteen rooms and even that seems like a lot. Mum did not know what to turn the last room into and she told me they even considered having a fourth child just to have something to put in there. Alas, it simply became a second guest room for when the guests that never visit have a nice place to stay.

"Come on, let's go inside," Cole says, grabbing my arm and tugging me up the pathway. I go along with him silently until he gets to the door and rings the loud doorbell. It has to be loud, obviously. It has to echo throughout a hundred rooms.

"You did tell them it was me who was your date, didn't you?" I ask quickly as I hear footsteps or something coming towards the door.

"Of course I did," Cole says dismissively. "I even gave them three whole days to adjust so they wouldn't kill you as soon as you walked into the door."

I'm about to respond when the door flies open and a small house-elf looks at us nervously. It fidgets with its filthy apron before bowing deeply, its little nose pressing into the lavish tile floor.

"Are you here for Master's party?" it asks in a squeaky, terrified voice.

"Yes," Cole replies.

"Tibby will take you," it says, stepping aside to let us through. It glances back, perhaps to check if we have coats, and then walks in front of us along a hallway. Before we even get to the door I can hear the soft music coming from within the room.

I chance a glance around at my surroundings, noting all possible exits (windows included) and can't help but be impressed by the lavishly decorated home I am standing in. Well, home is a bit loose. I'm basically standing in a castle decorated by angels.

"Here we are," Tibby the house elf says. "Will Master's guests be wanting something to drink?" It eyes us cautiously as though I am going to strike it down for looking at me.

"I'll have a butterbeer," Cole says. "Roe?"

"Erm, same," I say. "Thank you."

The elf gives me a bewildered look and hurries out of sight, presumably towards the kitchen where the drinks are.

"Alright, here it goes," Cole says to me, and throws the door open. It is in that second that I realize perhaps he, too, is nervous about what his friends thought about me. Surely he has some semblance of a best friend thing with Sebastian that mirrors what I feel with Demi. If Demi hated Cole I'm sure I wouldn't like Cole as much as I did and I worry it will be the same with Cole, though I also doubt anyone has such an intense non-gay relationship with their best friend like I have with Demi.

All eyes in the vast room turn to stare at us and most conversations stop so the only sounds come from the record player in the corner. I am just about to start my nervous giggling when I hear, from the corner of the room, "You made it!"

This was followed by, "Finally!"

I glance around and find myself completely dumbfounded. I had expected a _party_ with dozens perhaps close to a hundred people to fill this house. Instead what met my eyes were Sebastian, Theodora, Petra, and another Slytherin from our Year, Holden West, who I knew to be Petra's boyfriend.

"Sorry," Cole says, smiling at Sebastian. "I was a little late leaving the house." He takes my hand and firmly leads me further into the room where we are instantly surrounded by his friends.

"Hello, Roe," says a husky voice to my left. I turn sharply and come face-to-face with Petra Zabini. "You look very pretty this evening." Something about the way she says it causes me to believe she's lying, but her voice is enchanting. It's kind of raspy and husky and very sexy. "Doesn't she, Dora?"

"Very pretty," Theodora agrees. "Cute dress." At least the way she says it makes it sound as though she might actually like my dress, while Petra just sounded as though she were mentally smirking at me. "Sit down, have a drink."

"Thank you," I say, allowing myself to be led towards a plush couch with dozens of throw pillows. I sat down and instantly nestled my way into the comfort that was this amazing couch. I was seriously considering shrinking it and sticking it in my bra to take home.

"So, Roe Potter," Petra says, a smirk now fully on her face. She quirks an eyebrow at me and I swallow nervously before turning to see where exactly Cole was. My biggest fear now, seeing as they haven't killed me, is that he'll leave and then that's when they'll strike.

"Yes?" I say, when she says nothing else.

"Oh, nothing," she says airily. "Here you go." My butterbeer suddenly appears out of nowhere, as though she's plucked it from thin air, and she hands to it me. "So how did you and our dear friend Cole get together?"

I'm midway through a gulp of butterbeer when she asks and for a moment I try to answer with liquid going down my throat and begin coughing. I cough into my hand for a second before I hear behind me, "Petra, be nice."

"I'm being nice," she replies, smirking up at whoever was speaking. I couldn't hear through all the hacking. "I just asked her a simple question, Cole. No need to get defensive."

Cole sits down across from us. He gives Petra a knowing look and turns to look at me, as though trying to cushion the blow that is Petra.

"Maybe you can tell us, then," Petra says. "You never really did tell us how you and Roe managed to get together. I daresay I'm not the only one interested, right Sebastian?" She turns to her brother, who sinks down on the couch next to Cole.

"Right," he replies and gives Cole a bemused look. "You never did say how you two…er, got together."

"I won't say we weren't a little surprised," Petra went on. "I never knew you two even talked to each other, let alone had hidden feelings. Cole certainly never told us he thought romantically of you." She gives Cole a small smile before sipping her drink. For his part Cole gives her a glare before turning to me.

"Er, we," I say, sipping from my bottle comfortingly, "started talking at that Ministry Ball the other month."

"Hmm," Petra says with a smirk, "some Ball, I guess."

"Petra," comes a warning voice and I notice that her boyfriend has spoken for the first time. She gives him a smile before turning back to me as though nothing has happened. As soon as she looked at me I suddenly realized that I was under attack. It was simple, really. She didn't like me at all and I couldn't say I had warm and fuzzy feelings for her. She obviously didn't want me dating Cole and I wanted to date Cole. As girls we knew how to fight so that boys had no idea we were doing it. It was subtle and unique and deadly.

"Yes, yes it was," I say, suddenly on the defense. Well, if she wanted to have a sparring match with me then, alright, let's go. There was no way in hell I was going to be bitched around by Petra Zabini. Especially when I went to all the trouble of stealing a dress out of Elizabeth's closet.

She smirks at me and takes a sip from her drink. It's an ice blue color and is sitting in a martini glass. One look at it and I know it isn't any butterbeer. I want some alcohol! I mean, damn, if I'm going to be verbally attacked all night I want some liquid courage. All I have is this stupid butterbeer in this stupid bottle. A lot of good it's going to do me if Petra is going to badger me with questions all night.

The rest of the night goes on in such a fashion, though it is only tolerable because at least Theodora hasn't jumped in and joined Petra yet, for which I am grateful. In fact, Theodora has been very quiet almost the entire night, piping in only when spoken to directly. Cole told me she's always like this. She observes people, he says, and she's always been like this, even when they were kids.

I'm not fed, though no one else is, either. It isn't that type of party. There are some finger foods that I munch on while the others talk. I'm quite content to just sit back and let the others do most of the talking. Listening, rather than talking, has many, many advantages. I might try this with my friends and see what people say if you just sit and listen to them. Oh, or, I could do this at home and see if my family spills all types of secrets that I might want to know. Such insight.

Once I've stopped talking Petra seems to come out of her shell. Yes, I know. Hard to imagine that little bitch forty-five minutes ago was a girl in a shell, but it was. She's animated and kind of funny, in a mean, bitchy sort of way. She does tell a good story though, and you can tell she sniffs out her audience before she says anything.

Just by sitting back and listening I've learned more about these people in an hour than I've learned in almost seven years of schooling. For example, I never knew that when Cole was eight he and Sebastian were caught and punished severely for attempting to talk the house elves into bringing them Firewhiskey, and again when they were sixteen. As the night goes on, however, I realize there's a lot about Cole I didn't know. I mean, I knew the basics, what a girlfriend needs to know, but I realize there isn't much else I know but the basics.

The realization hits me that these people (well, not so much Holden. He only came into the group a while ago) know more about him then I could ever hope to. I have some catching up to do, if I can even achieve that. We don't really talk about our childhoods because it brings up the subject of our families which brings us to the guilt that we're sneaking around behind their backs.

"So, Roe do Mummy and Daddy know that you and Cole are an item?" Petra asks suddenly, an evil grin on her face.

I gulp down my drink and look over at her. She's eyeing me in a way that lets me know she already knows the answer. So, I answer her with, "No, they don't. We want to keep it quiet because we want them to respect our privacy."

"Ah," she says, smirking. "It has nothing to do with the fact that he's a Malfoy, now does it?"

"Petra!" I turn sharply to see Theodora smiling tensely at Petra. "I have to powder my nose. Join me?"

"Of course." Petra and Theodora leave and exit the room. Meanwhile, Sebastian announces they are all out of chips and he and Holden leave to retrieve some more. As soon as they're gone Cole and I turn to each other.

"What is that girl's problem with me?" I snap immediately.

"That's just Petra," he replies with an apologetic shrug. "She's a bitch. We know that, she knows that." He gets up and comes to sit next to me. "She takes a bit of getting used to and once you do…she's mellow. She doesn't like bringing new people into our group, that's all."

"I don't want to join your group," I say instantly.

"If you're dating me you're in our group, Roe," he says, frowning at me. "These are my best mates. I'm going to be hanging out with them a lot of the time and you're going to be with me most of that time."

"But they make me uncomfortable," I hiss. "And Petra doesn't like me. She's never liked me. It all stems back to that stupid Potions explosion in Second Year."

Okay, what happened was Demi and I had been giggling incessantly over some twelve year old thing we thought was funny and we were broken up because of it. I was placed next to Petra and Demi was placed next to Cole. Petra and I worked in relative harmony until I accidentally knocked my hand into a vial and our potion exploded. Petra said I did it on purpose, which I deny even to this day. So, alright, perhaps most of it—alright, all of it—got on her. It looks a little suspicious, but I retain my innocence until someone can prove I did it on purpose.

"Don't be stupid," Cole says with a laugh.

"It's not stupid, Cole. You know that's why. She's probably told you about it, right? When you mentioned I was coming she probably told you all about it, about how I 'purposely' knocked the stupid thing into the potion."

"I want you to take a moment to hear how ridiculous you sound," Cole instructs me.

I am silent for a moment before I say, "I did and I don't care. It's true and we both know it. Petra is—" I lower my voice and lean in closer to him. "—crazy!"

"I'm thinking the same about my girlfriend at the moment," he says, shaking his head in amusement. I throw him a glare and heave a giant sigh. "Hey, we only have to stay a little while longer, anyways. Sebastian and Theodora are going to disappear in a second and Petra and Holden will probably follow suit."

"What?"

"They break off into couples," Cole replies. "We always do it when we get together. The six of us stay together and chat for a little while and then we break with our dates. Don't you and Demi do that?"

"No!" I cry. "That's weird." He shrugs.

But, an hour later and I am lying in a vast bed with silk sheets and velvet hangings. My head is spinning out of control as I try to remain some semblance of my surroundings. The last thing I want is for someone to hear me or burst in on us or something to that effect. I don't want any of his friends coming to see who's strangling a cat.

"Stop moving around so much," Cole whispers in my ear as he tries to tug down the straps of my dress. I can't reply because all of my thoughts are fixed on a giant painting of a man. He's currently sitting in his chair with a glass of scotch, watching us.

"That picture is looking at me," I mutter in Cole's ear. He pauses, turns to the picture in question and makes a sound of outrage.

"Oi! Get out of here, you pervert!" he shouts, yanking the curtains shut. "Bloody thing," he snarls. "That's why I hate guest rooms. People feel compelled to fill them with pictures to make it homier, but then they watch you in intimate moments." I giggle and kiss him again. We break apart and lay on our backs.

"You're not in the mood," he says.

"No," I admit. "I'm sorry. I can't do it here. I don't feel comfortable."

"It's alright," he replies. "This room is kind of creepy, now that I think about it. I'm sure that picture in the other corner was watching us eagerly when we came in here."

"These beds are very comfortable," I comment, letting my eyes slide closed for what I wanted to only be a moment. However when I open them I notice the sunlight streaming into the room and birds outside are chirping away merrily without a worry in the world. I frown, still somewhat asleep. Suddenly I sit up with a gasp of horror as I realize we fell asleep in the room. "Cole!" I cry, shaking his shoulder as hard as I can.

"Five minutes," he mumbles, his face pressed into a pillow. I slap him as hard as I can and he gives a familiar groan. "Roe?" he asks, turning to me quickly. "What are you doing in my—Oh, fuck!" He sits up quickly and glances around in horror as he realizes we accidentally fell asleep.

"I have to get home," I say, stumbling from the bed and yanking my shoes back on as quickly as possible. "I'm going to be in so much trouble. What time is it?"

"Seven," Cole replies, his eyes fixed on a clock on the bedside table. "C'mon, I'll take you home."

"Right, that'll lessen the amount of shit I'll be in. Oh, while we're at it why don't you come to the door with me and introduce yourself as the boy who deflowered me. They'll love that!" I snarl, smoothing my hair down in the back. I took it down last night so that we could shag, but we didn't.

He doesn't say anything to me but buttons his shirt as I close my eyes and try to leave with some dignity but no good-bye for my boyfriend. I try for a second before I open my eyes and look at Cole helplessly.

"I can't leave," I snap at him, as though it were his fault.

"You can't in the house," Cole coldly. "We'll have to go outside to leave. Why don't you hurry up and gather your stuff so we can leave." I give him a look of outrage but yank my purse into my hands and walk past him, my head raised nice and high.

We walk down the hall in silence and all I can think about is what I'm going to say to my parents. They know I haven't been home, they have to. I told Dad earlier yesterday morning that I wouldn't sleep out. All I can hope for is that my parents assumed I'd stay with Demi or something.

"I don't understand who you're so mad with me!" Cole snaps at me as soon as we get into the foyer. He tried to guide me by the elbow but I yanked it back with so much force I accidentally knocked into his ribs with a painful thud. He rubs them now and walks past me towards the door.

"Because—" I begin loudly when we get interrupted by Sebastian coming out of the kitchen looking sleepy and mussed up.

"Well, well, glad to see you two had as nice a time as I did last night," he says, giving Cole a smirk while my cheeks flush slightly. "I'm heading back to bed…are you two leaving?"

"Yes," I snap, yanking Cole's arm forcefully.

"I'll owl you later," Cole says to Sebastian. He takes my arm gently as he leads me outside but as soon as the door is closed over he drops it and starts down the giant stone steps. As soon as his feet hit the crunchy gravel he whips around and fixes me with a furious glare. "What's your problem?"

"My problem is," I spit, coming down to the last two steps so that I am at his eye level, "is that I didn't even want to come to this stupid fucking thing and now I'm going to get grounded because of it!"

"If you didn't want to come, Roe, then you should have said so!" Cole snarls. "I wouldn't have made you come if you didn't want to!"

"You should know I didn't want to go, Cole!" I snap. "Why would I want to meet your friends? No one was nice to me—will be nice to me and you know that! Why would I want to meet your snobby, stuck-up, assholes of friends?"

"Because I met yours!" he bellows back. He turns sharply and walks forward before turning back so quickly my foot freezes midair from where I was going to step down and follow him. "So are you basically telling me that I have to hang out with your friends but you don't have to hang out with mine—or, better yet, that you refuse to hang out with my 'assholes of friends'?" I am silent because that is exactly what I'm thinking. I drop my gaze guiltily and he gives a disgusted snort. "Well, too bad!" He turns and starts walking down the pathway.

"Excuse me?" I bellow, hurrying after him. "Too bad? For you, you mean. Too bad for you, right?"

"Nope. I hang out with your friends and you'll do the same for me, Roe," he snaps, not turning around. "You're very selfish and stubborn and spoiled. It's getting to be very tiring."

"What?" I screech. "I am not selfish and spoiled and stubborn!" I stop and watch him walk further down the pathway, still not turning back. "Cole!" I call after him. "Cole!" He pretends he doesn't hear me, which, upon everything else that is happening, causes me to snap. Before I can comprehend what I'm doing I bend down and pick up a nice sized rock. "Cole!" I cry and hurl it, aiming for his back. However, this time he turns to me and my aim sucks so it hits him right in the ear.

The moment it happens I am already frozen in shock. He stumbles back slightly as the rock bounces off of him and lands on the ground again, all innocent as though it wasn't hurling through the air fifteen seconds prior.

My hands fly to my mouth and I gape in horror as Cole's hand moves to his ear where I am horrified to see the faint traces of blood on his fingers. I move forward cautiously, wondering if he's going to pull out his wand and attack me or something. He doesn't seem to realize I've moved forward until my hands touch his face gently. He jerks back instantly and tries to pull away, but I move forward as well.

"Stay still," I murmur, seeing a slight bruise where the rock hit. "That's going to swell," I comment as casually as I can, as though I didn't cause these. I bring my fingers up to touch it again but he slaps my hand off.

"Don't touch it!" he says through clenched teeth. "Don't you think you've done enough as it is? Just leave it and me alone."

"No," I say softly. "Here." I go up on my tip-toes and press my lips to the marks the rock left and kiss it. I go back flat on my feet and wait for him to move back from me and disappear or push me back. After a tense moment he drops his head and our foreheads press into each other.

Neither of us apologizes because, quite frankly, what we said was true and we'll have to deal with it on our own. I'll try to be less stubborn and spoiled and selfish and I'm sure he won't force me to hang out with his friends if I don't want to. Or, maybe I'll suck it up and hang out with his friends as he does with mine, though he actually likes my friends and they are nice to him.

I slip my wand from my purse and press it to his temple and watch the wound slowly starts to heal itself. He brings his hand up to touch it before dropping his hand just as quickly. For a second we simply stare at each other, trying to message everything we can't (or won't) say into our looks.

"I should get home," I say softly. "I'm probably going to be grounded. I'll owl you and let you know what happens."

"Alright," he says and holds onto my shoulders and then kisses my forehead. "I'll see you later, then." I tilt my head up at him for a kiss and fight a delighted smile from spreading on my face when he complies.

I wave at him once before leaving with a crack. When I open my eyes I'm standing in my bedroom. The house is completely silent and I feel some relief though I know it's still very early. With a thudding heart I open my door and peek around at the hall. No one in sight. Good sign.

The stairs creak beneath my feet as I go downstairs, wondering if anyone is even up yet. No one seems to be in the living room, luckily. I heave a giant sigh of relief and make my way into the kitchen in the huge silence that follows me.

"Glad you got home okay," I hear from behind me. I whip around to see James sitting on a kitchen chair, a cup of steaming coffee in his hand. I open my mouth to explain (or, really, to make something up) when he raises a hand to interrupt me. "Save it." His voice cuts through the room and causes me to wince as though I was slapped. "I know you didn't go to Demi's and I know that isn't where you were last night, either. Mum and Dad do, though, thanks to me. You're lucky I gave a fuck and came up with a plausible explanation before Mum and Dad really started freaking out. I don't want to know what you're doing but just be absolutely aware that I will not lie for you anymore and I will not make any more of your excuses. If you have a boyfriend, fine. You obviously don't want any of us to know about him, even better. You need to wise up, grow up and get the fuck home on time before you do get caught and Mum and Dad find out what you're really up to." He stands up and tosses the paper down on the table. "I'm going to work." He walks through the door and I feel my shoulders slump in defeat. I think he's gone but he suddenly pokes his head in and says, "And you look like a fucking mess. Get cleaned up before anyone sees you." The door shuts with a sharp snap.

I listen to him for once and make a quick beeline towards my bedroom. I hurry in and shut the door over. It is then that I remember it's Dad's day off so it's probably why I'm still not grounded or being yelled at. Relief is all I can feel at this point because I got away with it again.

A scowl arrives on my face as soon as I glance into the mirror. I literally nearly let out a yell before I stop myself. My hair is a complete mess, as though I've rolled around on the floor instead of slept in a very expensive bed. My makeup is smeared and makes it look as though along with the rolling around I was snogging the crap out of someone. Really, it was my pillow. It was made of silk and smelt like lilacs. What would you have done?

I'm not done, though. There is a giant hickey on the side of my neck where Cole was sucking last night. I gape at it in horror and pick up my hair to look at it closely. Usually I don't allow anyone to suck on my skin so hard that it leaves marks but it's so different with Cole. I actually want him to give me a hickey, I really do. Perhaps it's sick but I don't care. What I do care about, though, is my family seeing me—the girl without a boyfriend—with a giant hickey.

I tug Elizabeth's dress off, wondering if she knows it's missing. It would be just like James to cover for me, but tell Elizabeth I wore her dress so that I would get yelled at by someone. The soft fabric of the dress easily slides down my body before I toss it in the corner wondering if I should just burn it so she never knows I had it.

I run a brush through my hair and tug all the knots out of it before I walk back into my bedroom and pull on a giant shirt and shorts. I fall into bed and close my eyes, suddenly tired from James's little speech. As if he should even talk. How many times have I had to make an excuse for him about almost everything?

If it weren't for me Mum and Dad would know everything that he does because without me coming up with something in a pinch, he'd be screwed. Like, for example, the whole thing at the Ministry Ball. Mum would have found out he was with Lila Post, the Minister's daughter. And she would know all about how he and David would sneak porn and pot into his bedroom to enjoy an afternoon of Merlin knows what.

I am a good sister. I do not pull a complete and utter guilt trip just because he didn't come in the night before. As if he has to do this all the time and he's finally reached the end of his patience and he's not doing it anymore. I've got three years on his dumb arse! Three years where he would have been otherwise grounded or shackled in our basement. I deserve a medal. A big shiny medal that says what an amazing sister I am, dammit!

With my mood slightly improved I think I will go and see if Elizabeth is up yet. Perhaps if she is she can tell me exactly what happened last night so I can see what James told my parents. Hopefully it wasn't something stupid, like I was at a meeting for Over-Eaters Anonymous or something. That would be just like James to help me only to fuck me over even worse. I think if he said it was something stupid I'll just tell them I was with my boyfriend.

Elizabeth's door was closed over so I knock. There is no reply so I knock again…and again…and again. I am just about to think maybe she, too, went into work early when I hear, "Just a minute!" come from behind the door. I wait patiently for a moment and then the door opens and Elizabeth looks at me questioningly.

"Hey, Roe, what's up?" she says, blocking her room from view. I frown in thought and she suddenly snaps, "Hey, zone in or get away from me."

"Sorry," I say. "Can I come in?"

She gives a disgruntled sigh and opens the door. I walk past her and realize that she is still in her pajamas and her hair is a complete mess. I resist a snort as I turn to face her.

"Did you just wake up?" I ask.

"Yes," she replies, smoothing down her hair. "Did you need something or are you just keen on bothering me today?" I notice the way her eyes never leave mine as though afraid I will start looking around the room.

"I just wanted to know if you heard anything Mum or Dad was saying about last night," I say carefully, turning from her to go sit on her vanity stool. It was then that I saw her bed was already made with Elizabeth perfection. I froze in my tracks for a second before planting my butt firmly in the seat and looking at her again.

"I don't know," she says with a shrug. It suddenly hits me that she didn't sleep here last night. I narrow my eyes slightly and clear my throat.

"You didn't hear them yelling about James's pot?" I say in what I hope is a convincing voice.

"Oh, yes, I think I did hear something last night. I fell asleep over a report again. Work is really kicking my ass." She puts on a huge smile I instantly recognize as her fake smile when she's nervous. When she's nervous of you (if she's done something wrong or is going to do something wrong) she is extremely nice to you. I mean she became my best friend when she accidentally killed my pet toad when I was fourteen. She would sleep over in my room and do my hair and giggle with me. Finally, I found out she killed him by mistake and she had been so nice to me I made the mistake of forgiving her. She suddenly dropped the act about three days later.

"I see," I say. I turn my head to her bed slightly and feel a jolt in my stomach as I see the hanger I used last night to hold her dress was laying in the same exact spot that it was last night. I turn back to her. "Did you sleep here last night?" I ask.

She gives a titter and rolls her eyes. "Of course I did, Roe! Why are you being so snoopy?" She eyes me cautiously and then says, "You know what I thought would be a great idea? Why don't we go shopping for Dad's birthday present together!" She smiles brightly and my suspicions are instantly confirmed.

"Sure," I say just as brightly. "That sounds great."

She ushers me out of the room and for the first time I do not fight her as I leave. Instead I walk back to my room in silence and close the door over once I get there. My bed is inviting me to come and lay down on it, to think over the previous night's events and my first big fight with Cole.

I fear I am becoming a bit violent. First I push him out a window then I hum a rock at his head and hit him in the ear drawing blood! What if he thinks I'll get worse and he'll dump me? Even worse, I don't think his friends like me and he knows I don't like them. What if this is what I was in fear of? What if he breaks up with me now because his friends and I don't get on alright?

The next thing I know Mum is shaking my shoulder and handing me a steaming cup of coffee. Her smile instantly lets me know I'm not in any sort of trouble. Well, I if I am then they aren't dealing with it at the moment. Luckily, though, I don't think I am.

"Roe, I just wanted to let you know that we're having Dad's party this Saturday night, so don't make any plans for it, alright?"

Oh, I almost forgot Dad's birthday was Saturday. "Yeah, sure, no problem. Er, Mum…could I sleep at Demi's tonight and Sunday?"

"Sure," she says, shrugging. "If it's fine with her parents it's fine with me. Come downstairs you've slept the day away, my dear!"

"What time is it?" I ask hurriedly.

"Two-thirty, Roe. Get up and I'll make you lunch."

"Who else is home?"

"Everyone except Elizabeth. James is home on a late lunch break and Dad's been working in the garden all day." She watches me pull my hair back. "We don't see much of Elizabeth anymore, do we? I swear, work must really be getting to her! When she's not slumped over in bed from exhaustion she's working on weekends and late hours. She even had to stay over night at a patient's home to make sure they were recovering well enough." I give Mum and incredulous look.

"Oh," is all I manage. Perhaps I'll have to confront James with my little bit of information and see if I can wheedle something out of him. "Oh son of a bitch," I murmur to myself. I am an idiot. Of course James knows what's going on…that little rodent made up the story about Elizabeth stealing some girl's job! What a little dick! I feel all dirty and deceived.

Mum and I make our way into the kitchen to see Dad and James both eating sandwiches, potato chips and talking animatedly about something or other, most likely Quidditch. I am almost sure of it now that I hear, "No way, Mulroney is the best beater ever. Period!" They are either talking about Quidditch or swapping masturbation stories. Hopefully it isn't the latter.

"Afternoon, all," I say, not looking at James as I take my seat.

"Glad to see you graced us with your presence, Roe," Dad says, glancing over at me with an almost questioning look. "You must have been up late last night."

I open my mouth to say something when James cuts in. "Dad, you know Demi. She talks a mile a minute. Plus, Frank snores so you know they weren't getting any sleep at his house, especially with Luna tinkering away in the basement." He gives me a dirty look as I process the story.

"Luna was down there until four this morning," I say, adding to the story. "I don't know what she's doing down there but it was loud and the stink was atrocious."

"Probably a new spell she's got cooking up," Mum replies. "She's going to blow herself up one day." She suddenly turns to James. "You know, I heard Allie might go into the same field. Isn't that interesting?"

Mum has been pushing Alice Longbottom on James since they were born. What she doesn't know is that they actually do get to know each other. Quite frequently when they're both out of relationships and horny. Basically they get together to shag and then part from each other, still friends. They meet up and chat occasionally, but mainly they have sex with each other. No one else knows about it except me because I walked in on them in the middle of it.

I'm kind of a gossip queen, now that I think about it. I can't help it, though. I don't want to know everything about everyone (as it gets very tiring), but that is just how the cookie crumbles for me. Dad says I have an open, inviting face and I look so innocent and nice that people almost feel compelled to tell me about their personal life. I know almost everything about everyone in our Year.

"Really? That's nice," James says, his mouth twitching as though fighting a smile. He looks up at me and narrows his eyes before moving back to my father's and resuming his conversation.

"Oh, Roe, I almost forgot! You got your Hogwarts letter today! Open it up," Mum says excitedly. "Maybe we've got our final Head Girl in the family!"

"Mum, Chloe wasn't a Head Girl," James reminds Mum.

"Well, really who cares about—" she stops herself with a nervous giggle. "She didn't go to Hogwarts, darling, so that's why."

"Still, why would they make Roe a Head Girl? Their jobs are to regulate the school population, not screw it up even more," James says.

"Oh, suck my dick, James," I snap.

Instantly I hear, "Rosemary Ginevra Potter!" from both my parents. They each give me a look of complete outrage and it is my father who continues with, "You are a lady! Act like it, dammit!"

I am forcibly reminded of a previous even where he uttered these words.

When I was eleven I nearly got my arse hexed off after a particular bad run-in with a few reporters. Dad and I were being quite harassed while trying to walk along Diagon Alley. Supposedly it was the anniversary of something and everyone was keen to know what Dad was doing at this time. Wouldn't they like to know he was taking his daughter to buy her first training bra because her mother had to rush into an emergency Hogwarts meeting about something James blew up. It was an end of the year prank he pulled in May (which is also my birth month) and got caught. No one was happy.

Anyway, these reporters wouldn't leave us alone. No matter how many questions Dad answered they had three more to ask. Finally, they all rounded on me once Dad let them know he was finished answering questions.

I got all types of questions hurled at me and I guess perhaps I finally snapped after a minute of this, especially when I was blinded by a photographer.

A reporter asked me, "What was it like growing up Potter?"

I replied with, "I don't know. What was it like growing up ugly?"

Can you believe I got grounded for that? Dad said it was rude and I was a lady, dammit, can't I act like one?

One would have thought I ran that woman down with a muggle car or something the way my father was going on about it. At one point, after he brought me home and sat me in a kitchen chair, he got so angry all our cabinets flew open. Dad didn't like to yell and he tried to repress all of his anger every time he got angry. It probably wasn't healthy, hence our cabinet doors hanging off their hinges.

According to James, who eavesdropped when I wasn't around, Dad doesn't like to punish us because he says there are other, better ways to deal with a misbehaving child. I highly doubt that and I am all for corporal punishment for my children. But, Dad is Dad and no matter what we do or say he will always be like that and is too damn stubborn to change.

However, I have to love Dad for being so naïve about almost everything about us. He truly thinks his children are angels. For the most part he's right because one third of his children are angels. James and I just strayed a bit somewhere along the line and wound up being a couple of sluts. Well, I'm pretty sure I'm in love with Cole, so I don't think I'm a slut if I'm in love…unless I'm a slut in love…See, there should be guide books for crap like this.

I always wonder what Mum or Dad would do if they knew half of what their kids did behind their backs. Well, of course, this excludes Elizabeth who is little Miss. Perfect with her perfect job and her perfect hair and her perfect damn boobs.

Mum would surely combust. I can see it now…Oh, she would die of embarrassment if she knew that James screws around in his bedroom while she's home. Sometimes when she's right down the hall sleeping or cleaning. However, that is simply a reflection on James and James alone. We were certainly not raised to believe sleeping around with dozens of girls was alright. In fact, it was highly frowned upon by our parents. We even had a delightful little speech that went along with it when I was fourteen.

What happened was Mum and Dad heard James was dating a Fifth Year and decided to give us an updated sex talk. I was kind of hoping they would get all twitchy and embarrassed about it. I wasn't disappointed. At one point Dad got so flustered he revealed that it wasn't a bad thing to remain a virgin until marriage.

At that point I asked, "Did you?"

Both my parents turned bright red and remained silent for what I assumed to be three full minutes before turning to each other with doubtful expressions. Whatever they had expected from this little chat they certainly did not expect that question.

"Well, er, no we weren't," Mum replied, her cheeks rivaling in color with her hair. "But we lost it with each other and we got married, so that's different."

"So, you're saying I can sleep with a girl now, I just have to marry her later?" James piped in suddenly.

"Yes," Mum said, looking even more doubtful. "But you're still very young, James."

"And if you go on that basis you're treading the waters of polygamy," Elizabeth hissed at him. That earned her a smirk from James, who looked quite pleased with himself. He thinks shagging a girl is like some big obstacle he overcomes.

"I think we need to get back to what I was trying to say," Mum said, looking nervously between the three of us.

"Which was?" Elizabeth asked.

"Sex is…like a gift," Dad said awkwardly. "A very special gift that you give someone only when you know that you will spend the rest of your life with them." He looked briefly at James. "You shouldn't give this gift to just anyone at anytime just because you want to. That's how you accidentally get another gift nine months down the line."

"So," I said, "let me get this straight." Mum and Dad looked at me worriedly. "I can shag say, Frank, as long as we get married sometime in our lives?" (This is why my Dad doesn't really like Frank. He thinks we've shagged or something.)

"No," they said together.

"But you said—" I began to protest.

"DON'T HAVE SEX!" Dad bellowed. "Just…don't do it, alright? At least until you're older…er, thirty, perhaps?"

Anyway, I didn't get Head Girl, much to my relief. It was actually my biggest fear that I would get that stupid thing. Thankfully McGonagall read my mind and decided to give it to someone else. Hopefully it's that stupid bint Lila Post. I hope she has a mental breakdown and rips all her hair out.

Mum is disappointed, but I can just toss that onto the pile of stuff I've done to disappoint my parents. It's kind of growing steadily now, more so now that I'm out of school for the summer. Most of it involves Cole and what we do, but if I take that away then it's only a few things.

The rest of the day I spend doing some homework I've neglected until now. Stupid Potions, though. If I knew what I wanted to be then I would know what I don't need to take, but I don't so I have to take almost everything. There is no time-turner needed, luckily, but still. I'm getting my arse kicked daily even on a summer break!

James and I don't speak all day after he leaves for work and returns for dinner. This is fine by me as I need some time to work out my strategy for getting the information out of him. So far I am either going to get him: drunk, high or laid. One of them just _has_ to work!

I also don't see Elizabeth all night. According to Dad she's working late and is staying in London for the night with some friends from school. Right, I totally believe that.

At nine o'clock I announced I was tired and headed up to bed. I went straight for my owl and pick her up. She eyes me cautiously as I tie a letter to her leg.

"Send this to Cole, please," I say to her.

I release her and she flies into the night sky. It is ten minutes later when I hear a tapping on my window. I go over to it and open it. My heart begins to beat wildly as I see it is Cole standing on my roof, a giant basket under his arm. He hurriedly comes over into my bedroom and places the basket on the window sill.

"Lock and silence your door," he instructs softly.

I go over to my door and poke my head out. "I'm going to sleep!" I call to the house. I hear my parents answer and then close my door and lock it. I turn back to Cole hesitantly and see he has pulled my vanity away from the wall and has swept everything on the surface into a box he conjured up.

"What are you doing?" I ask questioningly.

"Well, I figured if you were grounded then I'd have to come to you. I also figured we should have a nice candle-lit dinner for once." He walks over to my light switch and flips it off, just as the candles on the table erupt with flames.

"This is very nice of you, Cole, but I didn't get grounded," I say to him, my heart swelling with joy. Cole is absolutely amazing and I am so in love with him it physically hurts sometimes. "But, still, let's enjoy."

"So you can still come over tomorrow night?" he asks.

"Yes. And I look forward to it very much," I say, leaning in to kiss him.

A/N Please read and review. I so enjoy getting them and reading what you guys think of what I'm doing so far. The next chapter is going to be the last summer chapter and then Roe and crew will be going back to school. After that the whole family dynamic will be lessened, but her parents and siblings will not be non-existant, at all. I plan to take this through her year and then back into the summer with a short break for Christmas in between. I have all the plot twists planned out and written so it should keep moving along nicely. Always expect an update within a week unless I've gone away or have writer's block, like I did with this. So, hope you enjoyed it, please review!!


	10. Chapter 10

A/N Due to the release of Deathly Hallows my story has become unbelievably AU, as I suspected it might. However, I hope that perhaps those who truly love the story line may be able to continue along with it.

"What is that?" I inquire eagerly. "It looks like a giant penis."

"That would be our seaside home in Ireland," Cole replies, glancing at the tall tower. "I think it was made to look like penis, actually. My grandfather had it erected—" He breaks off at his choice of words and scowls.

"I couldn't have said it better myself," I say, a smirk coming to my face as I sip my butterbeer. "And where would this darling little…now, what would you call that, a cottage?" I ask, pointing at the rather modest looking house sitting along a country lane.

"That's our shack," Cole says, playing along. "It's where we go to remind ourselves that life could be much worse. We could be poor. Or, worse, Muggles."

"Oh, horror of all horrors," I say sarcastically, giggling. "Not muggles! Anything but muggles. What _would _you do?"

"Kill myself," he replies promptly with a shrug. "Want one?"

I turn to see him extending a glass with steaming liquid inside of it. For a moment I hesitate. I have not been known to hold my liquor rather well. In fact, I can't hold it at all. I glance at an alcoholic beverage and I'm already hammered before my first sip. It's rather dreadful but, funnily enough, has yet to keep me from drinking.

"Oh, yes, thank you," I place my butterbeer on the table and take the glass from Cole. "Where was this?"

"In the liquor cabinet downstairs. It's filled with loads of stuff to drink," he replies, sipping from his own glass. He winces slightly as it goes down, obviously feeling the effect. I don't want to feel left out, so I quickly gulp down three sips to make up for lost time.

Fifteen minutes and two refills later and I'm feeling quite ill. Perhaps I should have mentioned to Cole that I didn't eat today, so the only thing entering my body is alcohol. I'm pretty sure Brandy Hall left in Fourth Year from some sort of poisoning not unlike this. She came back with an alcohol tracking device strapped to her wrist and a stutter.

"Fill her up," I say thickly, thrusting my glass at Cole, who gazes at it hesitantly. I can tell he obviously thinks I'm smashed, but is that any reason as to why I can't have some more? Like, if there's already a gaping hole in a boat what's another few holes going to do?

"Are you sure? Perhaps you should have something to eat?" He offers me what I assume, in my drunken haze, to be an appetizer. "They're good. My house-elf made them just before you got here."

I take one blearily and put it in my mouth and let it sit there. I forget how to chew. Whatever it is gets soggy very quickly. It does taste good, though, which is a definite plus in my books.

Okay, ten minutes later and I'm officially drunk. Cole hasn't had anything to drink, except the initial drink he had, because he seems to be afraid I'm going to pass out, choke on my own vomit, and die all while he's too drunk to realize it. I try to reassure him that I don't get sick when the twenty thousand appetizers I shoved in my mouth suddenly want to come back up.

"Oh, I don't feel so hot," I inform him, clutching my stomach as hard as I can. "I think I may be sick." A plant is shoved in my face.

"Get sick in there," he pleads, "and not on my mum's brand new carpet. She'll kill me for sure. I may be her only child, but this was purchased in India."

I laugh despite my nausea, which recedes as soon as he mentions dinner, which is supposedly my favorite. Apparently he made food.

I stumble blindly into the kitchen and find myself being led, instead, to their very fancy dining room. I want to take my shoes off so that I don't smudge mud or twigs or whatever is on the bottom of my pumps onto their gorgeous white carpet.

"It's so pretty in here!" I stage whisper, tiptoeing over to a chair and throwing myself into it. I nearly topple over onto the floor again when Cole catches my arm and pulls me back upright.

"This is a bad idea," he informs me. "You're far too drunk to eat a meal, let alone sit up. Oh, by the way, lightweight, we're never drinking together again. Totally unfair for you to get drunk off of three—"

"Five," I interject moodily.

"Alright, five, drinks before I could even finish my first one," he finishes.

"Well, I was nervous!" I exclaim angrily, puffing my hair away from my face. It comes back and settles against my lip gloss. I don't even know why I wear the damn stuff. It only ever gets me into trouble.

"Of what?" he exclaims.

"I didn't want you to think my vagina was gross," I say, gesturing wildly. I knock a wine glass filled with water over and it falls onto the plush carpet. "Oh, fucking arse." I bend down to get it and when I come back up Cole is gazing at me with an odd expression. "What?"

"Repeat why you were nervous," he says, the corners of his mouth twitching.

I open my mouth and then close it. Then I open it again and say in a dignified way, "No."

"Fine. I believe what you said was that you thought I was going to think your vagina was gross," he says, his mouth obviously trying very hard no to curl into an amused smile. "Is that right?"

"I don't remember," I say, my cheeks lighting on fire. "Perhaps," I mumble.

"Why would you be worried that I would think your vagina is gross? I've shagged your vagina loads of times!"

"But you've never seen it up close," I say quickly and promptly blush. I can not believe I just said that to Cole! Oh, and I know he's going to know exactly what I was thinking about, too. In my drunken haze I can see him piecing it together. He gives me a devilish smile that makes me squirm.

"And why would I be seeing your vagina up close?" he asks, inching closer. I fight the urge to jump up and run from the table. With a steadying hand on the table I rise slowly, my knees weak as though injured.

"What do I know?" I snap. "I'm drunk!"

"Did you think we would be…doing stuff like that tonight?" he inquires, coming closer still. His face is only inches from my face. "You know, I wasn't the one who had the problem with it the first time. I don't see why you're so embarrassed!"

"I'm not embarrassed—"

"You're blushing."

"It's a drunken tinge," I retort, my cheeks deepening. "And I know you don't have a problem with that kind of stuff, especially because I'm the only one who does that kind of stuff!"

Cole steps back and glares at me, his cheeks flushing. "I tried before, remember? That time in your room. You kicked me in the face!"

"I was surprised!" I snap, walking around the table. "You could have warned me that was what you were going to be doing!"

"I thought it was pretty clear where I was going with it," he says to me. "And I heard you women tend to like that! Apparently not, seeing as you dislocated my jaw."

"You startled me," I snarl, my cheeks getting redder with every passing second. "I didn't know you would be doing that…"

"Well, surely you're familiar with the process, Roe," he says.

I avoid his gaze and take another reassuring gulp from the firewhiskey that is sitting on the dinner table. There is a long pause.

"Right?" he asks. I don't reply. "Roe—"

"No! Alright? No, I am not familiar with the process!" I bellow at him. "Are you happy?" With my wild gestures I've managed to splash firewhiskey along a portrait on the wall. The man inside hops up instantly and disappears, swearing in a foreign language. "Oh, fuck." I rub at the picture hastily, hoping the paint doesn't smear.

He takes me by the shoulders and spins me around to look at him. I see that his eyes are wide with surprise and horror.

"Didn't you and Michael date for three years?"

"Two and a half," I say. "What's your point?"

"And he never…did that with you?"

"No," I say, frowning slightly. It never seemed like a big deal before, to be perfectly honest. Demi talks about it all the time but she also says lots of things are nice and they aren't. I take what she says with the grain of salt. "What's the big deal?" I snap, coloring.

"It's just…" he breaks off and looks at me helplessly. "Well, it's like a blowjob—"

"Oh, yes. I've had tons of those—"

"I can't describe it if you don't know what it is!" he barks. "It's like sex…only different, I guess. I don't know what it feels like for a girl. I just can't believe you haven't done it yet! I mean you and Michael dated for ages! How selfish could he get?"

"You know, you and I have dated for quite some time and you've never done it to me!" I snarl.

"Right. That's because I was busy putting my jaw back in its rightful place. If you remember you kicked it clear off of my face!"

"For the last time I was surprised!" I bellow with all my might, trying to raise myself to even half his size. I don't manage it, but I think I get the desired effect. It's quite hard to tower _under_ people, but I think I am effective when I need to be. Like now, for instance. We are silent for a moment.

"Let's just eat," Cole says after a moment.

I sit back down in my seat with as much dignity as I can muster, though I am sure once I sober up this is going to be completely mortifying. As it is I am pretty embarrassed. And shitfaced.

Dinner goes by in a complete blur. Probably because, if possible, I've gotten even more drunk just to try and forget our little conversation from earlier. Cole seems to have decided it won't be any fun if he's sober and I'm stumbling around like a toddler, so he in turn drinks a little more, perhaps to acquire a slight buzz. I know for a fact he wasn't as drunk because someone was leading me upstairs.

Once we got into his bedroom I turn to him with a smile on my face as I sway as though on a boat. It's just the amount of liquids in my body that is causing me to think I am on water.

"Sit down," I instruct. I can hear the slur in my voice when a moment of sobriety comes over me. It fades as quickly as it came and all I can concentrate on is Cole and how gorgeous he looks tonight.

He sits on his bed, across from me, dutifully, though with an apprehensive look on his face. I think he can tell I want to do something, and he isn't sure he wants to do it.

"Okay," he says, looking at me expectantly.

"Hold on," I snap, trying to gather my thoughts. "Oh, right." I start swaying as though there is music in the room, though it is all in my head. I reach behind me to unzip my dress and ignore the amused look on Cole's face.

When my dress drops he gives me a sympathetic look. "Roe, stop."

"What? Don't you think I'm sexy?" I ask, though it comes out as shecksy.

"Yes, very much so," he insists, coming to me and placing his hands on my shoulders. "But I can not have sex with you while you're so drunk."

"You don't have to feel guilty—" I begin quickly.

"Oh, I don't. I'm just afraid all that movement is going to make you puke in my bed," he says. "Or on me." I can tell he's kidding.

"I won't puke," I insist. "Let's make love." But, instead it comes out as loooooooove as I stumble over air and nearly land flat on my butt. He catches me and gives me a look to which I push him roughly on the bed. "Stay down."

"Roe—" he says. I reach behind my back and undo my bra as quickly as I can. I start swaying again. I don't even stop to realize that I'm going to have to break up with him in the morning because I will never be able to face this or live this down. He will bring this up for the rest of our lives.

"Oops," I say in my best sexy voice as I toss my bra on his head. I imagine it sounds husky, though I am not quite sure. He picks it off and I notice the still doubtful look on his face. An idea suddenly comes to me and I give him a giant smile, which he seems to take as the last string of my sanity snapping. "Hey, why don't you get more drunk then we'll both be pissed!" He looks at me with a doubtful expression. After a moment he relents.

"Alright," he says and conjures himself another drink.

"Oooh, let me have one—" He slaps my hand.

"If you drink anymore you're going to go into a coma!"

I make a noise that sounds like, "Pssh!" and wave my hand dismissively before stumbling over my mobile feet and falling against the bed. I quickly pick myself up and glance at Cole hopefully.

It is another fifteen minutes before he really starts getting drunk. I realize that I've never seen Cole drunk before. He's just as fun, but there is something to be said about him when he has no idea where he is or who he's with.

"What are you doing?" he asks blearily as I tug his pants down.

"We're going to have sex," I say to him matter-of-factly.

"That's nice," he replies.

"Alright, let's go," I say, settling into the pillows. "C'mon, Cole!"

He slides on top of me and kisses me. His breath smells like firewhiskey, though I'm sure so does mine. We kiss for a few minutes before everything goes completely black.

OoOoOo

The first thing I feel in the morning is pain. Actually, it feels as though my head is going to completely burst into a zillion pieces, splattering the walls with bits of skull and brain. My hands on my forehead are the only things keeping me from dying.

I let out a groan and slide out of bed. I turn to see Cole passed out on his side of the bed on top of the covers, completely naked.

"Cole," I hiss at him, walking around the bed and bending down before standing up right very quickly. I let out a whimper of pain and turn towards my clothes, which are all over the place.

I slide my wand out of my overnight bag and place it against my temple. Cole stirs on the bed as my head slowly begins to clear of pain and fog.

"Oh, that hurts," I hear him mumble against his pillow. I hurry over to him and place my wand against his temple, muttering the spell under my breath. A moment later he picks his head up to look at me. "Hello, my little lightweight. Shall I give you a minute or should I immediately start teasing you?"

"About wha—?" I let out a groan as it all comes rushing back to me. I put my head in my hands and let out another groan.

"I take it its all come back to you?" I don't answer, instead busy myself searching for my knickers. "Oh, c'mon, Roe. I'm just teasing!"

"Yes, yes, and it's very funny," I snap, my cheeks a brilliant shade of red. I find my knickers lying against the carpet by the door and hurriedly pull them up.

"You know, I wouldn't mind a striptease now, now that you're sober," he informs me with a broad smile.

I throw him a dirty look. "Cole," I say, looking back over at him after a moment, "I'm a little embarrassed about last night so if you would just—"

"What is there to be embarrassed about?" he says innocently. "All you did was say you wanted me to give you oral sex and then did a very nice strip tease for me before getting me drunk and then having your dirty way with me."

I gape at him for a moment before pulling on a pair of shorts and a shirt I packed for today. We just planned on hanging around until his parents get here, but I now plan on going home and never seeing him again.

"Where are you going?" he asks, as I pack my things and search for my missing shoe.

"Home. We can't see each other again," I say, locating it by the dresser.

"Oh, come on! All because you got a little drunk?" he asks, getting out of bed and giving me a look. "Hey, it's me." He grabs my shoulders and forces me to look at him. "You don't have to be embarrassed around me."

"Cole, last night was completely embarrassing," I say to him. "If you did half the stuff I did last night you'd be completely embarrassed, too."

"Perhaps," he admits, "but I wouldn't go so far as to break up with you because of it."

"I don't know what got into me," I moan to him. I finally remember what happened after I blacked out, and it wasn't very lady-like, I'll say that much.

"I kind of liked that," he says jokingly. "Don't go. I won't say another word about it ever again. I promise."

"Promise?" I press.

"I promise," he says, taking my hands. "Never again will I utter what happened last night. I can't promise I won't think about it when I need a laugh or a wank." I glare at him.

"Very funny," I say sarcastically.

But, he doesn't utter anything about it for the rest of the day. He actually makes no mention of us even shagging or having dinner last night. I am grateful that he is pretending as though the entire thing never happened.

At four o'clock his parents came unexpectedly. They couldn't have picked a worse time, either. I was wearing only an oversized shirt of Cole's and my grossest, oldest pair of socks that I stole from Dad's collection. They were too big, but nice and comfy, which my feet enjoyed. Oh, did I mention I was dancing like an idiot to one of Cole's records?

I let out a yelp when they came in, wondering if I could make a dash to the stairs before they realized I was sitting in nothing by a giant shirt and socks.

Two hours ago Cole decided we needed to go for a swim in his pool. It was quite nice because I got to wear my new swimsuit, which kept riding up my arse, but still. Afterwards I took a shower and didn't feel like wearing pants, so Cole handed me a giant shirt to wear. I had my knickers on and all, but they didn't know that. They probably thought we were just done shagging and I had come down to dance it off.

"Oh, hello," Mrs. Malfoy says, glancing at me in surprise. "And how are you, Roe?"

"Very well, thank you," I say, trying to tug Cole's shirt further down. "How are you?"

"Fine."

"How was your trip?"

"Delightful…"

"Cole," Mr. Malfoy calls imploringly. "My dear son, where are you? Your mother and I are home so put on your pants if need be." He gives me an awkward smile before hurrying to search for Cole.

I turn towards Mrs. Malfoy, to see her glancing at me in a weird way. I was almost sure it was in a very bad way. The kind of way that would soon let me know she didn't think I was any good for her son, or something. Instead she lets a small smile grace her face before saying, "You have lovely cheekbones."

"Oh, thank you," I say, touching them gently.

"I'm going to inform the house-elves that we're home. It will give them a chance to get dinner ready, which should be in a couple of hours." She gives me one last smile before walking past me towards the kitchen. I let out a sigh of relief that is cut short when I hear, "Oh, and Roe, darling?"

"Yes?"

"Pants would be appreciated." She disappears leaving me standing in her living room with a very red face.

Cole hurries into the living room and lets out a groan of horror when he realizes I didn't make it upstairs in time. He did, luckily.

"Great, now my parents know we have sex," he informs me.

"What?" I hiss, hurrying over to him. "Why do they know we have sex?"

"You're in nothing but my shirt and my dad caught me putting my pants on!" Cole snaps. "I didn't walk up to him and tell him we did, I think he pretty much assumed that's what we were doing."

"You couldn't have denied it?" I ask angrily.

"Sure," he says sarcastically. "He really would have believed that." He gives me a look. "What purpose would that have served?"

"This was a bad idea," I tell him. "Last night and tonight was a bad idea! Nothing good has come from this sleepover!"

"It isn't so bad," he says.

"Your parents know we have sex," I say to him.

"My parents have known that I've been having sex for a while," he tells me. "My mother walked in on me."

"She didn't walk in on _us_!"

"Alright, so you aren't making the greatest second impression, but if you go put some pants on I'm sure she can overlook the fact that you were just in a shirt in her living room with her only son."

"Right," I say and hurry up the stairs two at a time. As soon as I get into Cole's room I close the door over and hurry towards my overnight bag. The dress I had especially for tonight is still laying at the bottom with the wrinkle-free spell Mum taught me still working. I had to tell Mum that I was going out to a fancy dinner with Demi and Frank.

I quickly slide the dress up until I'm snuggly shoved into it. I hastily zip it up and then run my fingers through my hair trying to make it look presentable.

My mood was completely awful. I was sure I had blown the entire thing, but funnily enough his parents seemed to love me! Even Cole seemed a little surprised at how warmly they were taking to me. They didn't mention what they saw in the living room and I sure as hell didn't bring it up.

"So, Roe, if you don't mind me asking, what is it that your parents do?" Mr. Malfoy asks as we are about to start our main course.

I glance up at Cole fearfully for a moment before clearing my throat. "They're Unspeakables," I say to him. Though he caught me off-guard, this was a planned story that Cole and I came up with today. Usually wizards didn't know exactly who was an Unspeakable because what they did was…well, unspeakable. So, really, if the Malfoy's have never heard of my fake family, then even better for me.

"Oh," Pansy replies excitedly. "Both your mother and your father?"

"Yes," I reply.

"Do you have any siblings?" Draco asks.

"An older brother and sister," I say. Regardless, it's still safe to say. How many people in the world have an older brother and sister? It isn't as though my parent's were the only ones who had a girl and a boy then another girl.

"Are they working in the Ministry?" Pansy asks.

"Yes," I say. "They're going to be Unspeakables."

"Oh," Draco says, exchanging a look with his wife. "What did you say their names were?"

"Dennis and…" I can not, for some reason think of another female name. My brain fart has spread and all I can think of is the name Roe. Of all names in the world, millions of plausible female names I could not think of one besides Roe. "…Maureen," I say eventually. What felt like a year was really only fifteen seconds, but still. I must have looked like a complete spaz that I couldn't remember my sister's name!

"And is your name a nickname for something?" Pansy asks.

"Yes," I reply. "Rose." I don't add the Mary. It's too risky.

"Very pretty," she says. "I prefer flower names for girls. If Cole was a girl he was going to be Iris."

"That's a pretty name," I say conversationally.

The rest of the night goes one with a little small talk, but no uncomfortable silences, which is good. Pansy Malfoy actually asked me to "assist" her in the kitchen (which was really just me sitting next to her as she watched the house-elves work and grilled me). She wanted to know how long we have been dating, when we met, etc. I told her all I could before I got a bit uncomfortable.

Finally, Cole came and found us and announced that it was time for me to get going. He wanted to take me for a walk before I Apparated home, so I said goodbye to his parents at the front door.

"You must come again," Pansy said. "We so enjoyed having you here."

In the kitchen she also confided to me that Cole talks about me all the time. She also wanted to know if I was the same Roe from a few of his earlier Hogwarts stories. I blushingly admitted I was.

"That was an interesting night," Cole says as we walk down the dark path towards the lake. As we get around the giant tree the moonlight bursts across the yard. "My parents took to you well, though, wouldn't you say?"

I turn to him with a broad smile. "You like me," I say.

"Of course I do!"

"No, you really like me." I smile at him. "You talk about me all the time, says your mother. You've been talking about me since First Year." I don't need the moonlight to tell me Cole's blushing.

"Goodnight," he says, attempting to hurry past me. I grab his arm.

"Oh, I'm just teasing!" I say, kissing him. "I think it's very sweet."

"I think I need to have a talk with my mother."

"I also think it's very sexy," I say to him.

"Oh? And not shecksy?" He smirks.

I hit his arm. "No, sexy." I kiss him again. "Very sexy." We kiss again. "Oh, darn. I have to get home. Too bad. I was going to shag you on this very shore, but it's late and my parents will wonder where I am. Another time?"

"Count on it," he says, kissing me again. "You'll owl me and let me know?"

"Most definitely," I say, kissing him. After a moment I hoist myself up and wrap my legs around his body. "Okay, now I have to go." He puts me down and I kiss him one last time.

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

We smile at each other as I leave.

OoOoOo

When I get home Mum and Dad are sitting at the kitchen table going over something or other. I notice there are a few people gathered around the outside of the house.

"What are they doing out there?" I ask, peering out the window. A flashbulb nearly blinds me and I stumble back to the table where Mum leaps up to close the drapes.

"Fucking reporters here for my fucking birthday tomorrow where I turn fucking forty," Dad snarls.

"Looking forward to it, are we?" I ask sarcastically.

"Oh, please don't," Mum breathes in my air as I get towards the stairs. She grips onto my arm. "He's depressed as it is!"

"He's only going to be forty!" I exclaim.

"He's just a little depressed, so please, whatever you do, don't tease him or make a big deal about this."

"I wont, I wont," I say, rolling my eyes.

"I mean it, Rosemary. This is your one and only warning," she says in a low voice.

"What do you think I'm going to do? Tell him his life is over just because he's now completely old and rotted?" I snap.

"I can hear everything you're saying, you two! Your voices aren't even lowered!" Dad calls from across the room. Mum and I turn to look at him. "Ginny, I'm fine with turning forty. Really, I'm alright with it. It was coming eventually."

"I know you're alright with it," Mum says, going to him and putting her hands on his shoulders. "I just don't want you to be upset tomorrow during your party." She kisses the top of his head. "Just think that this September Hermione's going to be forty-one."

"Thank you. That does cheer me up some," Dad says, turning his head to kiss her. I watch them with a small smile on my face. If I hadn't just spent nearly forty-eight hours with my boyfriend, I might miss him some.

"I'm going up to bed," I say to them. "I'll see you in the morning."

"Goodnight, love," Dad says, turning to me with a smile. "Oh, how was Demi's?"

"Fun," I say to him. "As always."

I head up the stairs and bump right into my sister, who was coming down to the kitchen to say goodnight to our parents. Right behind her is my brother who is no doubt looking for a snack. I avoid his gaze, as I've been doing since the other day. We haven't even spoken since then.

"Oh, Roe! Good, there you are. Listen, I know I said we'd go and look for Dad's present together, but I went today and got one already. I hope that's okay?"

"Yeah, sure," I say. "I'll just go tomorrow before Dad's party."

"See, James! I told you she'd be going. You two can go together, then!" she says enthusiastically. "This works out perfectly."

I glare at Elizabeth, though I know it isn't really her fault. She didn't know we weren't speaking, I think. If she did and this is an attempt to get us to talk to each other again it isn't going to work. James and I can go for up to a year without talking, just pointing and grunting. We aren't the type of siblings that thrive on intimate conversations. Sure, I would prefer that we were talking because he is a laugh when he isn't shagging some poor girl or lecturing me in a hypocritical way, but I don't need to talk to him.

"What do you say?" she turns to James, who shifts awkwardly. Elizabeth punches his arm really hard. "James."

"I say…great," he says through clenched teeth, glaring at her. He turns to me and I fight the urge to look away. "Wake me up early?"

"Fine," I reply coldly.

"Great." He pushes past us and heads down the stairs.

Elizabeth clucks her tongue and looks at me with raised eyebrows. "Now, why aren't you talking again?" she asks curiously. "You two never fight!"

"We always fight."

"You never fight like this, though," she reminds me. "He's pretty pissed at you about something, Roe. Maybe you should apologize."

"Maybe you should bite me," I reply hotly. "Mind your own damn business, Elizabeth!"

"All I'm saying," she continues as though I haven't yelled at her, "is that you two are siblings and siblings should share everything with one another."

Like where you sleep at night? I think to myself, but hold my tongue. I could have said it to her, but it is much more fun to find out on my own and then blackmail her with it later. I am thinking I can get her to move out or get fat if I could just find out who it was. Perhaps it isn't even with someone. Maybe she's in a cult and she's sleeping at their nest or den or whatever the hell they have where they all gather and chant. That might even be better then a hidden boyfriend.

Though, I could figure out how Mum and Dad handle her sleeping around with a hidden boyfriend. If they take it badly then I'll never, ever tell them about Cole. However, if they are supportive and whatnot, then maybe I'll slip it in that I, too, have been seeing someone secretly. Cole's last name might have to change to something a little less intimidating than Malfoy, though. Smith, maybe. Or Donaldson. Basically anything that isn't Malfoy…or Weasley…or Potter.

"Right, well, thank you, Elizabeth, for that uplifting message. I'll store that somewhere special." I give her a sarcastic smile and go past her towards my lovely bedroom. All I want to do is collapse into bed. I got no sleep last night; instead I made a fool out of myself.

The only bright spot that happened is that Cole's parents are in love with me. I can totally tell they are way into me. Which is good, because in a couple of…er, years, when Cole and I are far more serious we'll have to tell them that their little Rose No-Last-Name is really Rosemary Potter. That'll go over very nice, I imagine. There will be a good amount of alcohol, obviously, to cushion the blow of who I really am. Perhaps I'll tell my parents the same night I tell his parents.

My bed is so inviting and cozy that, for the first time, I slide under the covers and close my eyes. Cole's habits are starting to rub off on me, though thankfully not some of the more annoying ones like bed hogging.

OoOoOo

My alarm, which I set for seven-thirty, begins blaring loudly and wildly. I hit the snooze button and attempt to go back to sleep before it barks, "Get up, you lazy bum! Get up! Get up!"

"Alright!" I snap at it and turn it completely off. I am half tempted to fall back asleep, but I know I need to shower, do my hair, brush my teeth, get dressed and find a present for Dad before noon. Oh! And wake James. Almost forgot him. That would have been quite irritating for him, which is a bonus for me, but I don't want him to look like the cheap bastard he is without a present today.

After I yank my hair into a ponytail, put some shorts and a shirt on and tug some sneakers on it is already eight. I needed the extra half an hour to fully wake up and get going. The shops in Diagon Alley open at eight-thirty, and I do want an early start.

I hurry down the hall to James's room. I throw the door open, foregoing knocking, and keep my eyes clenched tightly shut. I don't know what I expected to see, perhaps a donkey and someone strung up by their toes with a red ball in their mouth, but when no cry of outrage or neighing comes, I open my eyes to see him sleeping peacefully in bed.

A sigh or relief, which is putting it lightly, escapes my mouth as I close the door over and walk towards the bed cautiously. As I am never in his room I do not know if there are, like Elizabeth's might have, boobytraps, and I don't want to find myself in some sex dungeon a hundred feet under the house with some Fifth-Year he convinced to come up to his room.

"James," I say in his ear. "Wake up. We should get going. The shops open in half an hour." He doesn't stir, though I didn't think he would. I nudge his bare shoulder with my pointer finger, and still he doesn't stir. "James!"

I slap his shoulder a few times, to which he slumbers through. I then take to shaking him roughly, which he also sleeps through.

Finally, I say to him, "James, I'm going to throw back the covers and drag you from bed if I have to!"

"Fine, but I should warn you I'm not wearing anything," he mumbles into his pillow while I instantly leap back with a cry of disgust.

"You are so disgusting!" I snap.

He sits up, carefully keeping the comforter wrapped around him as he wipes the sleep from his eyes. His eyes meet mine and he frowns slightly.

"What time is it?"

"Eight."

He groans and falls back against the pillows. "Eight?" he cries. "I haven't seen eight o'clock in two years!" James usually doesn't leave for work until eleven. I don't know what training program he's been put on but it allows him to drink all night, wake up at ten, come home at four and then repeat the circle.

"Well, the shops open in half an hour and we need to get Dad something before the party! What if it takes us that long to find something to get him?" I reason. "Then you'll thank me for bringing us out early enough so we aren't late!"

"I guess you're right," he snaps. He sits up and blinks rapidly.

"Are you going to get dressed?"

"With you standing there?" he barks.

"Oh, right. I'll wait outside. Hurry, though." I open the door and step into the hallway. "And don't," I warn, "fall back asleep."

He gives me a look and waves his hand as I close the door over. It takes him about fifteen minutes to get ready, in which time I'm pacing up and down, skipping up and down the hall, and attempting a cartwheel, which nearly broke Mum's favorite vase. After I tired of moving I plopped down on the carpet and started at his door, willing it to open.

When it finally did, he came out looking as he usually did with his hair a complete mess and clothes slightly frumpled. I stood up and smooth my shorts down.

"Okay, let's get this over with," James mumbles and extends his hand to me. I glance at it. I didn't realize I might have had disgust on my face until he snaps, "Fine. You can Apparate yourself, you snob."

"I will," I reply coldly. "Try and aim for the Leaky Cauldron, please."

"Will do, mother," he replies sarcastically and leaves with a crack. I glare at the piece of carpeting he recently vacating, hoping all my negative energy made him splint.

However, once I get outside the Leaky Cauldron I see that James is standing waiting for me impatiently.

"Well, that only took you ten minutes!" he snaps as soon as I get there. "What were you doing?"

"I had to pee." He glowers at me. "What? I can't Apparate when I have to pee, James, or I'll end up in a river or something."

"Let's just…get going, shall we?"

We walk along the streets in complete awkward silence. It seems that all we have to say to each other is mean, hurtful things, which we are both trying hard not to do. I don't want him telling me he thinks I'm a slut and I'm sure he doesn't want to hear the same from me so early in the morning.

"Do you know what we should get Dad?" James asks after ten minutes of strolling aimlessly up and down the streets. I shrug. "Did you have anything particular in mind?" I shrug again. "If I wasn't here what did you plan on getting him with Elizabeth?" I shrug for a third time. "Can you please stop shrugging?" I shrug and we go along for nearly an hour in silence. In which time the streets have become mildly crowded with eager shoppers hoping to get the shopping done before the heat comes in full swing.

"Oh, look!" I say excitedly, grabbing his arm.

"What?"

"A Harry Potter Birthday Special!" I exclaim in delight. "We should go in and get something for him!"

"As if he wants knickers with his face on them," James snaps.

"It'll be fun, novelty stuff. We'll get him something else, something bigger, obviously, but this will be fun stuff."

"How about we come back if we don't see anything else," James suggests and we head off again. "I hope you brought money. I don't want to spend my whole lot and just have you sign the card."

I gape at him. Finally, I find my voice. "James, last year for my birthday you gave me an I.O.U. I'm still waiting for that hug, by the way. No, don't touch me," I snap as he moves to hug me. He smirks and moves away from me, his goal obviously reached. "Bastard," I mumble under my breath as we make our way around the corner.

"I have no idea what to get Dad," James admits some ten minutes later.

"Maybe he needs a hug," I say snottily, pushing some loose hairs back from my face.

"You know, if I wanted to go shopping with a snotty, moody, pms-ing bitch, I would have brought Elizabeth," he says.

"That's a very nice thing to say about our sister," I retort, though I would have been thinking the same thing. It's nice to know that at least I'm not the only one who thinks Elizabeth can be and usually is a bitch. "Oh," I say angrily, "and me!"

I catch James rolling his eyes and let out a giant sigh. This entire thing is a huge disappointment, to say the least. Not only that but James and I are getting dangerously on each other's nerves. This is not going to end well, I can already tell.

"What about a book?" James suggests.

"No."

"A new broom?"

"No."

"What about—"

"No."

"You don't even know what I was going to say!"

"I bet it was stupid," I reply instantly. "I'm hungry. Let's get something to eat."

"No."

"You're only saying no because I just said no a second ago," I snap.

"So?"

"You're not hungry?" I ask skeptically. "The boy who binged through the flu. You're really not hungry?"

"Nope."

"Well, I am." I walk across the street towards the small little café. I am half expecting James to stomp on along the road where I'll have to frantically search to find him in twenty minutes. However, I find him by my side a second later, treading on the back of my foot as I make my way into the small café. "Watch it!" I bark, kicking my foot up to rub the back of it.

"Sorry," he mumbles, pushing me along until we get to the counter. He eyes the girl behind the counter with a broad smile before glancing down at what they half to offer behind the glass display.

"Um, I'll have a chocolate chip muffin and a peach iced-tea," I say to the girl, who seems to be studying the top of James's bent head. My eyes flick from her to him to her again before I ball my hand into a fist and hit his arm.

"Oh, and I'll have…the same, thanks," he says, giving the giggling girl what I guess must be a sexy smile. It makes me want to vomit, so I'm sure that's what it is.

We wait at the counter for a moment before she slides our food along on trays that we take to a nearby table. All the while she's staring wistfully at James as we take our seats. She actually glares at me once or twice and I have the strongest urge to tell her we're brother and sister privately and then start smoothing James's hair down and fawning all over him so she gets grossed out and tells the world James Potter is a pervert.

"These are good," he says, gesturing to the muffin. I make a noncommittal noise in my throat and rip off a giant chunk of muffin, which I eagerly chew down. "I think I'm going to get another one."

"Shocking," I mumble as he gets up to go get another muffin from what I hope is an of-age girl. I should probably mention that he's already done with his muffin and I've only had a few bites. And these aren't those little mini muffins, either. These are the big, plate-sized muffins.

I glance up at the counter to see James and the girl talking. She glances at me a couple of times before leaning in closer to James and saying something. He turns to look at me, turns back to her and laughs. Then he says something and her face instantly clears up. If possible she gets even more flustered and giggly.

I roll my eyes and take a giant sip of my tea as James takes his seat across from me, a smile plastered on his face.

"What are you so happy about?" I growl.

"I have a date for this Friday night," he replies.

"How old is she? Twelve?"

"Seventeen," he replies. "She thought you were my girlfriend."

I begin coughing on my muffin. "That's ridiculous!" I cry.

"Right. I would never date someone like you!"

"Exactly—Wait, what?"

"What?"

"What do you mean, you would never date someone like me? What's the matter with me?" I raise my eyebrows at him. "Am I not pretty enough? Or am I not funny enough? I sure as hell know it isn't my intelligence that would be a factor."

"Roe, do you hear yourself?" James says to me, lowering his voice. "Do you forget that you're my sister?"

"Of course I know I'm your sister!" I snap. "Just tell me. What's so wrong with me that you wouldn't date me?"

"Besides the fact we share parents? Um, you're _crazy_!"

"I. Am. Not!" I cry.

"Uh, yeah, just a bit," he says.

"I may be crazy, but—"

"I don't want to talk about this anymore!" James snaps. "I'm getting very uncomfortable with this whole conversation."

"Fine," I say moodily. I pick at my muffin for a moment before I feel James's eyes on me. I glance up at him. "What?" I snarl.

"Nothing," he replies. "What the hell crawled up your arse?"

"Oh, nothing really," I say. I do not tell him that him yelling at me the other day is doing nothing else but driving me completely bonkers. I am so insulted and humiliated that he yelled at me like that and all I want to do is take my bottle of crappy tea and smack him over the head with it.

And it isn't even his scolding that is causing me to get angry. He also knows what Elizabeth is doing and he won't tell me what it is exactly! We both know she's not sleeping at home anymore, but he knows with who and where and won't tell me! I tell him almost everything in a kind of truthful manner and for him to completely disrespect me like this is totally—

"Is it because I said wouldn't date you?"

"No!" I snarl forcefully.

"Then what is it? You've been pissed at me for three days!"

"James, do you remember when you were fourteen and you broke that gorgeous serving platter Mum and Dad got for a wedding present?" I ask.

He nods.

"Do you remember how hard you tried to glue it back together so it looked sort of like it did when they got it?"

He nods again.

"And do you remember what happened when they found out it was broken?"

He nods again.

"I took the blame for you. I said I was the one that broke it and you were trying to cover for me by gluing it back together."

"What's your point?"

"My point is that I do that kind of stuff all the time. I never make you feel guilty if I have to make up a story for you or pretend you're somewhere you aren't. I've been doing it since I was four, actually. And I'm pissed because you had to do it once and suddenly you're not alright with it."

"Roe, that's because I was never sneaking around," he says. "I tell you exactly where I'm going and what I'll be doing and it's always you that decides to make up some elaborate story."

"You would rather me tell Mum you and Alice are shagging upstairs instead of hanging with David down by the lake?"

"Sometimes," he admits. "It would make it so much more easier for me sometimes. You know, sometimes I think Mum still thinks I'm a virgin."

"James, I don't think Mum has thought you were a virgin since you discovered Playwitch in Fourth Year. I don't think she knows what a perverted slut you are, but I don't think she thinks you're a virgin."

"That's encouraging," he says jokingly. He suddenly becomes serious. "I know how Mum and Dad can be. Believe me; no one knows more than me how they can get sometimes. But do you really think sneaking around behind their backs is going to make it any easier?"

I lower my head and feel my heartbeat quicken as it always does at the mere suggestion of Cole.

"They were so involved with Michael," I say finally. "I just want to be with who I'm with without everyone's involvement all the time."

"I understand that," he replies. "But I think perhaps they would respect you more if you told them you were dating someone."

"Okay, can you tell them you and Alice have casual sex?" I ask in a perky voice. "Or that your most serious relationship is with yourself?"

"Fine," he snaps. "You don't have to take my advice, but I think when they find out you've been sneaking around their backs they're going to be pissed."

"Well, why don't you flit that information on over to Elizabeth," I say.

"I've tried," James mutters and then looks up at me quickly. "How do you—"

"I just do," I say. "I know she isn't sleeping at home. Who is she sleeping with then, might I ask?"

"I don't know," he replies. "She isn't saying and I've decided to keep my nose out of her business and dive right into yours."

"I'm touched," I say sarcastically. At this point I've finished my muffin and tea. "Let's go get Dad a present. If we don't hurry I'm afraid the only thing we're going to be able to get him is a hug and knickers with his face on the crotch."

"He might actually like those," James says as we start off down the street.

Finally, we find a present. I'm sure Dad will like it very much, as he had been staring at it the last time we came to Diagon Alley. It's a really gorgeous chess set that he said he would like to get.

"Are you sure he wants this?" James asks doubtfully.

"Positive," I reply.

"Does this mean we're going to have to play with him?" James asks moodily as I pay for it.

"Yes. What is that? Twenty minutes of your time?" I snap. I hand him the bag and we set off down the street. "What time is it?"

"Eleven," he replies.

"Well, let's see. We can go and help set up…or, we can stay here for another hour and let Elizabeth do it all by herself."

"I very much like that idea," James says, sitting himself on a bench in a shaded part of the street. He spreads his legs out and lets his head hang back. "So," James says as we sit in awkward silence. "How did you meet your mystery man?"

I stiffen and give a small cough. "You know, I really don't want to talk about him."

"Right, of course," James says. A moment later, "Are you embarrassed by him?"

"What? No! I just don't want to talk about him with you, that's all."

"With me?"

"Yes, with you," I snap. "You know, your judgmental type."

"My judgmental type?" James asks, eyebrows raised. "You think I'm judgmental?"

"Very. I can't stand your type of people. Judgmental people are so not my type."

"No, Malfoys are, apparently."

A/N Sorry for the wait! I get writer's block in waves. Sometimes I can sit down and write twenty pages and sometimes I can't get past the first page. Once I get past the ten page mark I usually get into the swing of things.

Okay, well, hope you enjoy and the next chapter is coming probably next week or so.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven: The Birthday Party Surprises

"Wha—What?" I ask dumbly, my mind suddenly blank. All I can concentrate on is what James said just seconds before. "I didn't hear what you said."

"Yes you did," he replies.

"No—"

"Cut the shit, Roe," he snaps. "You know very well what I just said. You don't have to lie anymore. I already know about you and that Malfoy kid."

"I don't know what you think you know—" I begin.

"I saw you guys," he says softly, not unkindly. I don't reply, but maybe he hears my inner question, for he says, "About a month ago. You guys were here in Diagon Alley in an alley around the corner."

My first thought is that he saw us shagging that time, but he continues with, "You were kissing and laughing."

"You must have seen him with someone else because it wasn't me," I say in a choked voice. My throat has run completely dry and is now cracked and brittle. My only thoughts seem to be, "Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit!" which doesn't couple well with, "Run! Run! Run!"

"Well, then, the girl had the same outfit on that you were wearing right now and she looked and sounded exactly like you. Even funnier, she responded to your name, too!"

I am not sure what to do. Dad's present is sitting uselessly at my side, the plastic pressing against my bare leg. The blood that is pulsing through my head is making a gigantic headache, which will soon erupt into full blown pain. I am shocked and embarrassed.

I have nothing to say to James, nothing I can actually put into words. All I can think of is that it's all over. James isn't going to let me continue on with this. Worse still, he might tell my parents, who I've been getting on with really well.

My stomach churns painfully as I think of the horrified looks on their faces when I am forced to tell them, or when James beats me to it and tells them himself. They are going to get all quiet and then Dad is going to get his mouth into that stupid pinchy thing he does with it while Mum starts screaming at me. And then when they're done screaming, they'll either flat out disown me and throw me out, or force me to choose! The thought makes me sick. Actually, I feel as though I'm going to throw up.

"I'm going to be sick," I mumble, standing up and hurrying down the street. Before I can fully comprehend what I'm doing I stumble into the Leaky Cauldron. I can hear James calling my name as I run, but I do not stop to look back.

I literally throw myself into the fireplace and snatch some floo powder as quickly as I can. Just before I swish away I see the door open and James's baffled expression. I can not Apparate when I am distracted or upset. I can barely do it as it is without the added pressure of other things.

My feet hit the ground and I tumble from the fireplace to see my living room filled with balloons and streamers. I hurry through it and into the kitchen towards the stairs.

"There you are! Where the bloody hell have you been?"

"Language!" Mum calls half-heartedly from the counter where she is magically chopping vegetables and mixing something in a giant red bowl.

"I've been decorating for hours!" Elizabeth rants, ignoring Mum. "You and James purposely stayed out, didn't you?"

"No," I snap. "Move."

She blocks the stairs. "No. I need your help hanging this."

"Move, Elizabeth!" I shout angrily.

"Roe…" Mum says concernedly. I am shocked to feel tears falling from my eyes. "What's the matter?" Her voice becomes high with worry.

"Nothing is the matter, I just want her to move!" I say, struggling not to start crying. James is going to get here any minute and tell on me. I at least want to gather my thoughts and plan a plausible defense.

"It'll only take you a sec—" Elizabeth doesn't finish because I roughly shove her aside and push past her. Her shoulder thumps into the wall.

"Rosemary!" Mum cries in outrage. "What has gotten into—" Her voice fades as I reach the top step and sprint into my room.

As soon as I am in there I quickly try and remember the spell to keep people from Apparating into my room. When that fails me I shove my vanity in front of my door and lock it. Then I dive into my closet (my hiding place since I've been three) and shut the door over. I crawl into the very back corner and bring my knees to my chest.

My head and heart are pounding together as one, like one big drum causing vibrations to emit from my skin. I place my cheek onto my knee and start to cry, my entire body shaking with fear.

I do not know what James is going to do, whether he's talking to my parents as I sit here and cry, but I know he will not keep my secret. He hates Malfoy as much as Elizabeth does, simply because of who is father is. It's an old, stupid prejudice that I am frankly getting sick and tired of. I mean, Cole's parents got to know me and they love me! Oh…right. Well they got to know Roe No-Last-Name. I'm sure if they knew I was a Potter they would no longer be fond of me. Son of a bitch.

There is a sudden, almost frantic, knocking on my door. Mum's voice comes through loudly. "Rosemary Ginevra Potter, open this door right now!" she says.

I let out another sob and let my head thump back against the wall. I want to tell her to go away and leave me alone, but she won't. She never does and never will. Mum is really big on not being in the dark about most things. Sure, she would rather we not say when we're having sex or getting drunk, because she likes the nice image she has in her head of who her kids are. However, when we are clearly upset about something, she wants to know all about it. Usually she listens with out interruptions and never, ever judges us about how awful we cocked up, but she won't stay quiet and reasonable about this. I don't think she'd be able to keep her mouth shut about this.

Her voice becomes softer and I can barely hear her. "Roe, please open the door and talk to me. I just want to know you're alright, darling."

"Mum, I'm fine!" I shout, crying. "Just leave me alone. I'm fine!"

"Sweetheart—" Suddenly her voice drops and I hear the faintest of murmuring from the other side of the door. I listen curiously and when I no longer hear my mother's voice I give a sigh of relief. Surely my father heard about what happened and came to fetch her.

But, my fear increases when I hear a pop right outside of my bedroom door. I sink further into the closet, wondering who it could be.

A second later my closet door is flung open, spreading the small are with the late morning sunlight. I wince slightly as James peers down at me in a way I've never seen him look before. He promptly shuts the door behind him and settles himself down on the floor, looking around.

"It's gotten a bit smaller since the last time we've been in here, hasn't it?" he asks as though the little thing in Diagon Alley hadn't happened. After a moment he turns to me, a sympathetic look on his face. "I'm sorry, Roe, I shouldn't have done that. I shouldn't have just sprung that on you like that. I had a whole little speech prepared."

I don't say anything. Partly because I have no idea what to say and partly because anything I would say would only stop him from speaking and I am keen to know what he plans on doing with his information.

"You ran away before I could say anything else," he says, eyeing me oddly.

Finally, I can contain myself no longer. "Are you going to tell Mum or Dad?" I sob, my shoulders shaking pathetically.

He is silent for a long time and I am afraid of the answer. However a moment later he says softly, "Of course not."

I let out a shaky sob of relief and press my face against my knees. After a moment I calm myself to look up at him. "Are you mad at me?"

"Why would I be mad at you?" he asks, surprised.

"Because," I say as though it should be obvious. "I'm dating a Malfoy."

"Roe, you can't control who you fall in love with," he says in a soft voice. "Things like this tend to happen when we aren't paying attention. I'm sure you didn't start this with the sole intent to try and hurt the family." I let out a mortified groan and let my head knock against the wall. "What?"

"That isn't true," I moan, fresh tears springing into my eyes.

"What isn't true?"

"That I didn't intend to hurt you guys," I say.

James looks surprised again. "What do you mean?" he asks. "Did you purposely choose to date Malfoy because you knew it would drive Mum and Dad nuts?"

I give an embarrassed nod and he snorts. "But," I say hurriedly, "I do love him. Now I do. When we started fooling around I was angry at you guys that I wanted to hurt you." I can't quite meet James's eye.

"Why were you mad at us?"

"Oh," I say, "it was that stupid picture that was in the paper. I wasn't in it and I saw you get it taken. I think perhaps I just snapped. Cole was at the party and I took him into the coat room and I…I…"

"Yeah, yeah, I get you," James says hurriedly, apparently not wanting me to say 'shag.'

"But I do love him," I say anxiously. "I really do." We are silent for a moment. A thought comes to my mind. I look at James. "Why did you wait so long to tell me you knew?"

He sighs with a shrug. "I didn't know if what I saw was a one time thing," he says. "But then you were sneaking out all the time and spending nights somewhere that wasn't Demi's. And your lies weren't adding up and it was becoming harder and harder to pretend I didn't know what was going on. I did see you and Malfoy talking at the Ball and I knew you kind of had a thing for him." I look up at him in surprise. He, in turn, seems surprised by my surprise. "Roe, I may not be the most sensitive guy in the world, or the man most in tune with emotions, but I know the look of lust on a face when I see it. Believe me, I've seen plenty of girls look at me with that same face."

"Way to toot your own horn," I snap, playing with a loose thread in my shorts. I hear him snort, but he doesn't snap at me for butting in.

"Anyways," he continues, "I had a hunch that if it was anyone you were sneaking around with it would be him. I knew it wasn't Michael or Frank and you really weren't that close to anyone else."

"How did you know it wasn't Michael?" I ask curiously.

"That twat I have for a friend?" James asks. "Because he happened to tell me you ended it because he cheated on you." He raises his eyebrows at me. "I knew you better than to sneak around with him after that." I heave a deep sigh. "And Frank? Please. Demi would kill the both of you without batting an eye. Also, you're not a backstabbing whore-friend like some people."

We are silent for a moment. "Do you think Mum and Dad will be mad if they find out?" I ask after I can no longer keep the question to myself. "When. When they find out," I correct.

James hesitates for a moment. He gives me a quick look before saying, "I think they will for a bit." When he sees that I am visibly shaken by this he sighs and scoots closer to me. His hand clasps over mine and I look him in the eye. "They love you very, very much. No matter what you do, they will always love you. That is the wonderful thing about parents: They are the only people in the world who can be forgiving about everything."

I am still not soothed by this. To this day Dad can barely look at Frank without wondering whether we've done something all because of a three year old comment. How is he going to feel when he knows that the boy who I'm shagging is none other than Cole Malfoy?

"They're going to be mad, though, right?" I ask timidly.

James hesitates again, as though carefully choosing his words. "I don't know, Roe. They may or they may not. They may not be crazy about the idea, but they'll get used to it. If you truly love him then they'll learn to love him, too."

I let out a shaky breath. My head thumps back against the wall for what feels like the hundredth time today. My head hurts terribly as though I have a head cold, but I know that is just my brain trying to digest this information.

James and I sit in a comfortable silence for a moment. I already know without asking that he'll cover with me if I ever need him to. It is with this thought that another one comes to me. "James, why did you get mad at me the other day?"

"Oh, no reason really," he says easily. "I was just pissed you couldn't see that I knew exactly what you were doing. That whole thing was supposed to tell you I knew exactly what you were doing."

"You weren't obvious with it," I snap. "How the hell was I supposed to know that was you telling me you knew?"

He shrugs and says, "I don't know. You're a smart girl, though."

"Why aren't you more angry with me?" I ask curiously. "I've been lying to you." As soon as I say it I wish I hadn't. I didn't want him to come to the sudden realization that he should be furious, but wasn't and then become furious.

He shrugs again. "I don't know. I think maybe because I know you aren't the type of girl who would ever do something she wasn't ready for. Sure, you've been lying to me, but you were right."

"What was a I right about?" I wonder aloud.

"What you said today in Diagon Alley and all the other times," he says. "You've been a much better sister than I've ever been a brother." I quirk an eyebrow. "You stick up for me and cover my arse even when we're in a fight and not speaking. You're very loyal and I suppose I figured you needed some repayment." He takes a breath and then says in an airy voice, "I have no doubt in my mind that I would have been thrown into priesthood if Mum really knew what Alice and I get up to…among other things."

I nod in agreement. "So…we're alright?" I ask carefully. "You aren't going to tell Mum or Dad or Elizabeth?"

"Of course not," he says. "Listen, I know we're not the closest of siblings, but you don't have to be afraid of me. I will never tell a sole what we've just talked about."

"Thank you," I say softly, tears of gratitude coming into my eyes.

James sees them with much displeasure and says, "Hey, now. You keep crying like a fucking baby and I'm going to have to tell!" I laugh and hastily wipe them away.

"Thank you, James," I say.

"You're welcome," he says and looks at me. In the dim light I can see that his cheeks have deepened in color. I am about to question him when he beats me to it. "I just want to tell you to…be careful," he says, clearly embarrassed. "You don't want a baby or some disease. It would be hard to deny a relationship with a baby popping out of your cooch come this June."

"Oh! You are so gross!" I snap, hitting his arm. I can not stop a giggle, though, from escaping my lips.

I sink back into the closet, literally bogged down with relief. Everything is going to be alright…for now. James isn't going to say anything to anyone and he knows so I don't have to feel completely guilty for running around behind everyone's back. I can always say that James knew the entire time and didn't say anything.

"Did you really slam Elizabeth into the wall?" James asks me curiously a moment later. I give a noncommittal shrug. "She's really pissed off, cursing and muttering under her breath and stuff." I shrug again, though a slight smile comes onto my face. "Roe," he says, suddenly very serious, "you have to tell them."

I glance up at him fearfully. He is staring at me intently, obviously watching for my reaction to what he is saying. I can tell that he senses my fear, for he sighs heavily and grasps my hand again.

"They're going to find out," he says. "Someone is going to see you and say something to Mum and Dad and then you're going come off looking bad. It will be much better if you just tell them that you're dating Cole Malfoy."

"I can't!" I wail, suddenly crying again. I bury my face in my hands and start sobbing at the mere thought of what my father would do if he knew. I honestly do not want to tell my parents. I didn't want anyone to know because it is my business, my thing. Whatever my parents have to say is only going to hurt our relationship, not better it. Why doesn't James understand that?

"Roe!" James snaps. "Do you know what Mum and Dad will think when they find out that you've been sneaking around behind their backs and fooling around with Cole Malfoy? They are going to think that you obviously know it is wrong to date him. If you keep it secret then you obviously think, somewhere deep down, that what you're doing isn't right."

"That isn't true!" I cry angrily. "I don't want to tell them because of what Michael was like!" I yank my fringe out of my eyes. "They liked him more than they liked me and it was so annoying! Is it so wrong to want something all to myself for just once?"

"Yes!" James snaps. "You are going to hurt their feelings and embarrass them. That is most definitely what you are going to do. Believe me or not, but when they find out you didn't come to them and talk to them they are going to be hurt."

I slump back against the closet wall. Maybe he is right, but I frankly do not give a fuck. Cole is my business, my relationship. Whether or not Mum and Dad know is not really a big deal.

"You filthy little hypocrite!" I shout suddenly. "Here you are again telling me to be honest with Mum and Dad and come clean when all you ever _do_ is sneak around and lie to them! How about you tell them a little something you do?"

He is silent. Finally, in a low voice he says, "You're right. I am a hypocrite." I raise my eyebrows. Well, admitting it is the first step to recovery. "Did it ever occur to you that maybe I'm just as scared of Mum and Dad as you are?"

"What?" I cry. "You are not!"

He glares at me. "Do they really know anything about me?" he asks.

"I think Dad knows far more than he lets on," I say seriously. "He was your age once, too, before."

"Yeah, fighting Dark Lords and saving the Wizarding world," James replies dryly. "I think it's safe to say I'm a bit different than Dad was at my age. I'm sure Dad never snuck pot into his bedroom and nearly burnt down the house."

"That wasn't your fault," I say. "How were you supposed to know that the charm you put on the pot to make it not smell like pot would cause a giant ball of flame when lit? No one could have possibly known that."

"Yeah, well, still," James says moodily. "You aren't half the screw up I am."

"You aren't a screw up," I say kindly. "You just don't take anything seriously, that's all. James, a screw up is someone who never gets anything right, and that simply isn't you." He looks at me questioningly. "I have never seen you screw up a joke, or blunder a date."

"I can't exactly make a career in jokes and sex," he snaps.

"Sure you can! Not a respectable or normal job, to say the least, but you could certainly do it." I keep my face straight for as long as I can and then feel my mouth twitch. "And you aren't stupid," I say, hearing his internal monologue as though he were speaking it aloud.

"I didn't get the good grades you or Elizabeth get," he says instantly.

"That's because you either didn't show up or went straight to sleep," I reply. "But, James, when you did you were the top of everything! You never had to study!"

"Oh, sure I did," he says modestly.

"Elizabeth was insanely jealous of that," I add, talking over his objection. "It used to drive her absolutely bonkers that you could sleep through a class, wake up and take the test and get an O on it." I see that he is instantly pleased. It must have been Elizabeth that did it, so I continue: "She had to study her arse off for her grades, and all you had to do was show up." That isn't completely true. Elizabeth studied, but it didn't make any difference. She already knew all the material like the back of her hand.

"Thanks, Roe," James says.

"Don't mention it," I reply.

"Do you remember our fort?" James asks, looking around at my closet.

I smile instantly. Of course I remember our fort. It was something James and I came up with as a place to get away from anything and everything. Elizabeth never joined. She was always far too old and mature for silly little games like that, but before James went to Hogwarts he wasn't.

When we were six and eight we used to put a blanket over the top of the closet like a canopy and tell scary stories. Sometimes Dad would come in and try and tell us a scary story, but he could never do it right. He always forgot a detail and had to go back and change the story around, but we didn't mind.

As kids we idolized our father, I still kind of do, actually. Anything and everything he did seemed like it was the way the entire world should be doing it. He could do no wrong in my eyes…and still can't, come to think of it. So the fact that he couldn't tell a proper story never bothered any of us. We were just happy to be around him without interruptions from work.

James and I had our fort until he left for Hogwarts. I was, of course, heartbroken at the sudden loss of my siblings. I did not know what to do with myself. Mum tried to busy me during the day with my lessons, but for the first few days after their departure I was having none of it. I wouldn't do anything she set in front of me, I refused to listen when she was instructing and I was completely uncooperative. Mum got so frantic she finally had to get Dad, which immediately made me start working. The last thing I needed was for her to pull Dad out of his study, make him cross, and then unleash him on me.

The worst part of it all, though, was that I now had a room all by myself. For a nine year old who was still afraid of the dark and thunderstorms that was not something to be happy about. Usually when we had a thunderstorm I would creep out of bed and get in with Elizabeth. She would grumble and make room for me, but I knew she didn't really mind.

Well, once she was gone, I did not know what to do. The first thunderstorm we had, which was a bit late in the year, without my siblings left me terrified. I sat up in bed for a full hour before remembering that I was not alone in the house, I still had my parents.

I leapt out of bed and ran with all my might down the hall to their bedroom and flung the door open. Both my parents were sleeping soundly, obviously unaware that their youngest daughter was currently having her very first panic attack.

My body flew through the air before I realized my feet had pushed off of the ground and I landed on the other side of my mother, who awoke with a shout. She looked over and saw me cowering pitifully next to her. With a heavy sigh she broke away from my father and shook him awake.

He cracked an eye open and through the haze without his glasses listened to my mother telling him that I was afraid of the storm and wanted to sleep with them. He pushed over a little and Mum yanked me over her back into the space in between them, smoothed my hair down and kissed the back of my head, and wrapped her arms comfortingly around me, enclosing me in her body warmth. She instantly fell back asleep, but Dad stayed up with me, telling me stories incorrectly and trying to get me to laugh. I fell asleep giggling and when I woke up I no longer missed my siblings or the fort. It would be eight years before I needed the solace of my closet, or James's presence for comfort.

"We should get downstairs," James says now, squeezing on my hand. "Elizabeth is going to kill the both of us if we don't hang a balloon or throw a streamer over the rafter."

I sigh, knowing he is right, that she is probably plotting our deaths as we sit in the closet. If I know her, and I am pretty sure I do, she is saving all the worst stuff for us to get done because she's pissed we're up here chatting instead of working.

We leave the closet, me wincing in the sunlight, James picking his wedgie like a true gentlemen, and head downstairs where I can already hear Elizabeth furiously helping our mother arrange food on trays.

"Oh, look who decided to join us," she snarls as we enter, giving me her best glare before turning sharply and flouncing back into the kitchen for another tray.

"Are you alright?" Mum asks, coming to me and smoothing my hair down around my face. "Do you need something? A cookie, chocolate, pregnancy test?"

"Mum!" I cry.

"What?" she asks. "Just tell me it's not the last one. That's all I want."

"I'm not pregnant," I hiss at her.

"Oh, thank Merlin," she breathes. She seems to think that also means I am still a virgin and I am not about to correct her. "Then you can help James bring in the tables from the shed. Without magic," she adds, giving us each a look, "seeing as you waited until the last minute to buy Dad a present." Her mouth twitches in a smile as I look down and realize that my wrist is still through the handle of the bag and it's hanging by my side.

"Can you wrap this?" I ask and hand it to my mother. She glances at it and then at me with a sigh. "Please? I don't have time."

"Of course I'll wrap it!" she snaps, shooing me outside.

James and I manage to bring in all the tables without breaking a sweat. Partly because he used magic despite what our mother said and brought them all in at once. I in turn waved my wand and set the entire table in one swoop. Elizabeth was not impressed. In fact, she was absolutely furious about it. Shocking.

The first of the guests start arriving shortly after I got dressed. Mum made me go upstairs and change out of my "hideous" outfit and into something far more proper for Dad's birthday, even though he said he didn't mind what I was wearing. He would say that if I was wearing a burlap sack. However if I even look at a bikini I'm hit over the head with a rolled up newspaper.

"Mum! Dad!" Mum cries, running towards Grandma and Grandpa. They embrace her enthusiastically. Unlike some families, my family sees each other all the time. We're all a little too close to each other and we're always in everyone else's business. Going a week without seeing at least everyone in the Weasley family was like not seeing them for fifteen years. As it is we hadn't seen my grandparents for almost a week.

I anxiously await the arrival of Demi and her parents. She's dying to know what exactly happened last night with Cole. She pretty much wants all the gross details, not that I could ever bring myself to repeat what happened, I know I'll have to say something to make her happy. She informs me about everything, every detail, even if I have no desire to hear it. She doesn't care about that, though.

When she finally does arrive, however, she's already with Frank and they seem to be fighting. What is unusual about this, however, is Frank's appearance. For the first time since I've known him he actually looks livid enough to kill Demi. I've never seen him look at her so angrily. He never gets angry at Demi! They fight all the time, sure, but it is usually Demi venting her frustration and Frank sitting calmly listening to her. He never, ever gets worked up, much like my father, so Demi hates to fight with him. On the few occasions I've seen him get really angry it's been because of Demi.

They stomp past me without even looking at me, still bickering in low voices, oblivious to the fact that they totally just blew me off. I don't get a chance to pout, though, because a second later my mother beckons me from the kitchen and I am suddenly in the middle of Weasley women. They are all staring at my eldest cousin's ring finger where a giant diamond is sitting. I see Elizabeth staring at it wistfully.

"Now, isn't this the most gorgeous ring you have ever seen?" Aunt Hermione says, holding onto it as though it may jump away from her and turn into a fake. She hands it back to her niece. "It's gorgeous, Chloe."

"Thank you," she replies happily, staring down at it.

My cousin is marrying some rich French wizard that she met at her school. Apparently his parents are very rich and plan to leave it all to their one and only son. Chloe is totally being my firstborn's godmother. I want her to give it a trust fund I have access to. Or, possibly just a house on the beach in France or something.

I gaze around the kitchen and see Frank and Demi still bickering heavily by the counter. He goes to touch her hand and she jerks away. I frown. I've never seen them act like this before. Frank has seemingly calmed down, though, which is good. Frank can take care of Demi if he's level-headed.

"Hey, guys," I say, walking up to them. "What's up?"

They both turn to me fearfully and then say at the same time, "Nothing."

I frown and feel the slightest pang of jealousy. As much as I love Frank I want him the fuck away from Demi right now. She is my best mate, dammit, and we tell each other everything! How else would I know every single, disgusting, embarrassing detail about their first time? How would I know that sometimes Demi doesn't shower for three days or that she will go weeks without shaving? Or that until we were seven years old she was convinced she was a boy trapped in a girl's body and that she had a big crush on me? We tell each other everything—the good, the bad, the embarrassing, the weird—everything!

"Demi, what is it?" I ask softly, locking eyes with her. I am hoping my brown ones fixed on her blue ones will be like some sort of hypnosis. I am soundlessly commanding, "Tell me. Tell me. Tell me!!"

"It's nothing," Frank says.

"Oh, be quiet, Longbottom!" I snap, breaking my concentration to look over at him with a dirty look. He gives me a surprised look, but not one that necessarily says he's angry with me.

"Roe, it's nothing," Demi says, breaking in swiftly. "We're just having a row about something."

"About what?" I ask quickly. "Maybe I can help."

"I don't think you could," Demi says. She shrugs apologetically. "It's between the two of us. Sorry."

She mine as well have slapped me across the face with a spiked wooden paddle the way her words sliced through the air. I can tell that Frank felt their effect, for he shifted awkwardly and avoided my look.

"I see," I say tightly. "Well, then." I turn and say over my shoulder, "Enjoy the party!"

Great. Great. Motherfucking great!!!!

Now what am I going to do, huh, hang out with my family? This party officially sucks balls already. I glance around hopefully. Maybe James is still in a Roe-loving mood and will hang out with me, only to find that Alice, too, is missing.

I heave a great sigh and look to my left. I am jolted to the core to see Elizabeth staring morosely at Chloe from across the room. The look on her face is what a puppy looks like when you've scolded them. It is the saddest looking face I have ever seen on a human being. My heart, though cold and small towards Elizabeth, gives a mighty tug and I find myself striding across the room towards her.

I plop into the seat next to her and she turns to me in surprise.

"Oh, hi, Roe." She turns away and sighs again, her shoulders rising and falling rapidly, her entire body bogged with what I am assuming is some sort of sorrow. "Really great for Chloe, isn't it?" she says with false cheer.

I am silent for a moment. Then I say, "Dumb bitch."

"Oh, thank Merlin," Elizabeth breathes.

"Who would marry her?"

"Someone who likes big boobs," she answers viciously. "I know we should be happy for her, but I don't want to."

"Then don't," I reply.

"But I should," Elizabeth muses as though I haven't spoken.

"Then do."

"But I'm really not," she continues, as though I haven't spoken. Apparently I do not even need to be here for this conversation. She turns to me and gives an apologetic smile. "Sorry. I'm thinking aloud."

"I can see that," I say. "I just came over here because you looked so sad a second ago."

It happens so fast and suddenly that if I had not been looking directly into her eyes I would have completely missed it. Her usually gorgeous green eyes (so close to our father's I am sure she stole them right off his face) suddenly flash a dark, murky green before turning back to their gorgeous color. The stab of fear in them does not go unnoticed by me, though.

"Sad?" she asks, crossing her legs. "I'm not sad, Roe, just thinking."

"Oh," I say. "About what?"

"My stuff," she replies not unkindly. "What's up with Demi and Frank? They look like they're fighting."

I can't say I don't know. I can not force myself to say that words out loud, lest my best friend status becomes threatened. What if this is Demi showing me that she needs Frank more than she needs me? What if she doesn't need me anymore? Who will pluck my eyebrows? Who will switch bras with me in the middle of a party if mine gets uncomfortable? Not Cole!

"Oh, you know them," I say breezily. "It's always something."

"Hmm," she says, smiling at me. "What did you and James buy Dad? I hope it wasn't anything out of that stupid little shop on the corner."

"No, it wasn't," I snap. "We bought him a chess set."

She looks mildly surprised. "That's interesting," she says.

"Roe can I talk to you?" I look up to see Demi standing in front of me, twisting her fingers around. She yanks my hand and drags me upstairs before I can even say goodbye to Elizabeth. A moment later we are standing in the middle of my bedroom. She is pacing back and forth in a frantic fashion.

"Demi, what is it?" I ask slowly. "Oh, God. Are you pregnant?"

"What?" she asks. "No! No. Oh, goodness, no! It's just—oh, fuck!" She suddenly bursts into tears as her hair turns a brilliant shade of teal. "It's just…it's just…" She lets out a long wail and plops down onto my bed.

"Tell me, Demi!" I cry frantically. "I can help you!"

"F-Frank…" she moans.

"Do you want me to get him?" I ask quickly.

"N-no!" she sobs. "H-he…He…"

"What? What did he do?" I am suddenly gripped with the fear that he cheated on her or something, but I know she wouldn't be crying with me up in my room. We'd be in some field digging a deep grave to hide the bodies.

"He…p-proposed!" she sobs.

I can not speak. I always knew this day would come, but I somehow thought that it would be when we were older. In fact, I always figured Demi and I would spend our adulthood together, perhaps being a sort of lesbian couple that dated other men. I figured that Demi and I would get an apartment together and live the first few years of adulthood with each other! It's only been our plan since we were two!

"Roe, say something!" she says sadly.

"What did you say?" I ask.

This is when she starts crying again. "I said I didn't know!" she wails. "And he got all quiet. Oh, and it was awful! He was down on his knee with the ring in his hand and I knew he was really nervous and everything, but…" She takes in a deep, shuddering breath. "I said I didn't know. We're barely seventeen and we have our whole last year to worry about!"

"Demi," I say softly.

"I know!" she sobs, shaking. "And I can tell he needs an answer. I'm scared he's going to break up with me, Roe! What if he breaks up with me because I'm not ready?"

"He wouldn't do that!" I cry.

"You don't know that! He looked so h-hurt." She sniffles. Her big, blue eyes are filled to the brim with tears as she turns them to look at me. "I lo-love him so much!" she says, her breathing so hard it's starting to be hard to understand her. "I just didn't see this coming!"

"I saw this coming since Fourth Year."

"I meant I didn't see it coming so soon," she says. "I thought we'd have the rest of the year to fool around before we decide if we want to spend the rest of our lives together." She gives me a helpless look. "I don't know what to do, Roe! Frank is my best friend and I don't want to lose him!"

"Hey," I say in outrage. "I'm your best friend."

She rolls her eyes at me. "Frank is my best friend who I can also shag."

Damn Frank and his penis!

"Well, what does your heart tell you to do?" I ask carefully. "Is it your heart that's doubting Frank's proposal or is it your brain?"

She is silent for a moment and then she says, "My brain. I do want to marry him." She breathes a loud sigh of relief and looks over at me. "I really want to marry him."

"There you go," I say softly.

"I guess I should tell Frank that I accept," she says thoughtfully. "Whoa." She looks at me again with wide eyes. "I'm engaged." She shakes her head as though ridding it of cobwebs. "I'm _engaged_."

"I know," I whisper.

There is a knock on the door and we both turn. It opens and Frank pokes his head in looking timidly between us.

"Oh, sorry. I'll come back," he says and makes to leave when Demi hops up.

"No! Don't leave!" she cries. He turns back to her apprehensively. "I accept," she says softly.

"You accept?" he repeats.

"I accept."

A second later and she has flung herself into his arms so forcefully his back slams into the wall and one of my pictures is dislodged. They do not take any notice of this, however, but continue to kiss. I stare at them wistfully, wishing my own boyfriend would be here.

It only takes Demi a minute to pull back from him, adjust her legs, and reach down for his shirt. I notice what is happening at just the right time.

"Oi!" I shout, standing up. "You two can't shag in here! I have to sleep here!"

"You shag here," Demi counters.

"Yeah, well it's me and you're you!"

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing!" I cry angrily. "It means I can do anything I want in my bedroom and you can not do anything you want in my bedroom."

"Fine," she says, pouting slightly. She extracts herself from around Frank's waist, but stands on her tip-toes to resume kissing him. Their faces bump together in an almost painful way, but they continue on.

"Oh! I almost forgot." Frank backs away from Demi and reaches into his pocket. He takes out a ring and hands it to her. "Will you marry me?" he asks her.

"Yes, yes, yes, yes, and yes!" she cries, flinging herself back into his arms. "I will marry you. I would love to marry you!" They kiss again and I watch them wonderingly.

We are called downstairs a minute later to watch Dad opening his presents. Demi and Frank have decided not to tell anyone about their engagement tonight, not until they can tell their parents in private. I am the only one who knows.

I stand around in the party. Demi and Frank "went for a walk" and left me to tend to myself for a half hour. I guess I should get used to it.

I turn to my right and find a smile hopping onto my face almost instantly. Standing by the fireplace are my parents and my Aunt Hermione and Uncle Ron. My Uncle Ron says something and they all burst into laughter. Aunt Hermione clutches onto him, tears popping from her eyes as her body shakes with laughter.

I look at them and though I fear I'll become second best with Demi, I see that Dad and Uncle Ron seem to have survived the test of time. I look them over with intense scrutiny. Hermione, Ron and Dad were all best friends before Ron and Hermione got together. Their friendship has never been affected by anything—marriage, kids, jobs. Why should it be any different for Demi, Frank and I? Aren't I just like Dad was? Am I not finding myself the sudden third wheel of the trio, the other two sharing in something I can never be apart of. Maybe that is what makes me so jealous. Frank and Demi get to be with each other like I could never be without it being quite odd.

Dad doesn't look as though his two best friends getting together and getting married so young hurt their friendship. He, Ron and Hermione are still the best of friends. If I think about it, I am Dad and Cole is Mum. She sort of had to weasel her way into their close group and look at them now! It's like she was never not a part of it from the beginning.

Who knows? Maybe I'm looking at my future. Maybe these four hysterically laughing, drunk off their arses people are what Demi, Frank, Cole and I are going to be like in twenty-two years. Who knows?

After the guests leave Elizabeth disappears and James has been missing the entire damn party except for, what else, cake time. I take my parent's exhaustion as an excuse to owl Cole and sneak out for a little while. This way James knows where I am going and I do not have to worry about an alibi!

OoOoOo

Later that night as I am laying by the lake under the canopy of the tree leaves I turn to Cole, who is staring up at them soundlessly.

"Frank and Demi are getting married," I say to him.

He turns to me, eyebrows raised. "What?"

"He asked her to marry him," I say and turn back to the tree leaves. "She said yes. They're getting married."

"Are you jealous?" he asks.

"Very," I reply.

Suddenly his voice takes on a different tone. "Because you want to get married?"

"No," I snap. "And calm down, by the way. Your voice just went ten octaves higher." He grumbles at me. "I'm jealous because I feel like I'm going to lose my best friend. What if she starts having babies and then has no time for me anymore?" I let in a shuddering breath. "They've been my best friends since First Year and I feel like I'm going to lose them." I notice he doesn't seem very moved by my words. "Well, how would you feel if Sebastian and Theodora were getting married?"

He snorts. "I don't think I'd care very much," he replies. "Though, I do fear the day that happens."

"See, because you're afraid you'll lose your best friends."

"No, because they already fight like crazy and break up and make up every other day. It's harder to do once you're magically bonded."

I scoff at him and cross my arms. "You guys aren't as close as Demi and I."

"Yes we are," Cole replies. "We just didn't become unhealthily obsessed with each other like you two are. I'm actually surprised Frank didn't check to make sure you were alright with them getting engaged."

"Yeah!" I say, thinking about it. "How rude of him. I should have put my stamp of approval on their engagement. I think I deserve it."

"You're crazy," he says.

"You're the second person to call me that today," I say. "Oh, which reminds me." I sit up and turn to him. "My brother kind of knows we're dating."

In an instant Cole is on his feet and looks petrified.

"Is he mad? Where is he? Should I leave?" He hurriedly bends down and attempts to shove on his shoes, trips, stumbles and falls over onto the blanket. I giggle and grasp his hand.

"He's fine, Cole," I say. "He isn't mad."

"Should I leave?" he asks, looking around wildly.

"No! Sit down," I snap and yank at his hand. He lowers himself down on the blanket slowly. "He's known for a while, actually."

"How long?"

"Over a month."

"That's half our relationship," Cole says hoarsely. "Are you sure he isn't going to see us and kill me?"

"No," I say jokingly, which Cole takes seriously. He stands up and starts to put his shoes on as fast as he can. "Cole!" I cry. "He's really alright with it! Why would he choose tonight of all nights to come down here and blast you to bits?"

"I don't know," Cole says worriedly. "Should I talk to him?"

"No."

"Should I ask…permission?"

I snort. "No."

"Then what should I do?"

"Shut the hell up and kiss me," I snap.

Cole turns to me with an odd look. Finally he seems to succumb to me and lowers his face to kiss me. I smile against his lips and feel him slowly relax. Another second later and we're lying on the blanket kissing deeply.

The two of us lay on the blanket, occasionally kissing and laughing and talking until the early inklings of dawn start to arrive. We watch the sun slowly come over the hills in the distance.

My parents got completely wasted, and I doubt they even realize I didn't come up to bed. I'm sure I can tell them I was laying outside all night looking at the stars.

"We go back to school next month," Cole says to me as he prepares to leave. I groan.

"Don't remind me!"

"Do you think it'll be different?" he asks.

"I don't know," I say with a shrug. "We won't see each other as much."

"We'll just have to find a way," he says firmly, "because I really love you, Roe. I want us to be like this throughout the year."

"We will," I say firmly. "Kiss me again and then go so I can go to sleep."

Our kiss turns into a very quick shag under a Cloaking Spell.

Cole leaves me with a lingering kiss and a smile and disappears. I smile at where he left and vow to myself that we will not grow apart like Michael and I did. We will be shagging best friends, which is what Frank and Demi are.

This year is going to be my best yet. I can feel it.

A/N Read and review. Next chapters will start Roe's Seventh Year. Because my chapters are usually pretty long there will probably only be about five, six or seven with her at Hogwarts and then the rest will be after she graduates. I don't know how long this is going to go yet. I do know that in about five or six chapters will be Christmas time where, let's just say, I have three things planned that will be very important to the entire plot of the story. Then of course the last chapters will be another surprise, one HUGE surprise and then, of course, Demi and Frank's wedding! Please review and give me feedback. Oh, and I hope you enjoyed!!


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve: Arriving Back at Hogwarts

"We're going to miss it!" I wail angrily from the bottom of the stairs. "Can't I just go on my own? Must you make me wait for you every single bloody fucking year?"

"Yes, you have to wait—What the bloody hell did you just say?" Dad bellows, running down the stairs whilst attempting to tie his tie. He gives me a haughty glare as his fingers fumble around it. "Do not swear, Rosemary!"

I sigh and slap his hands away and messily tie his tie so that it looks passable, though I might have yanked it against his neck a bit hard. He's now all red and coughing up a lung in the kitchen, which gives me the opportunity to stick my head around the stairs and bellow for my mother.

She comes hurtling down the stairs looking quite cross. Her air is a complete mess, as it is every year, and she keeps glancing down at her watch in disbelief.

"Is this the time already?" she asks.

"Yes! Yes it's the time! You do this every year!"

In Third Year I actually missed the train and had to floo into McGonagall's office with James and Elizabeth four hours before everyone else showed up. She didn't mind though, because Dad came with us and chatted with her until it was around dinner time. Then I had to stand next to her and when everyone came we slipped into the crowd like we had been there the entire time. McGonogall thought she lost us until she saw us, chatting with our friends and basically running away from her.

"I don't want to miss my last train ride into Hogwarts!" I wail again.

Quite suddenly Mum slows down even more and gets all teary-eyed. "I forgot this would be your last train ride. This will be the last time we take our children to the train station!"

I watch in horror as she throws herself against Dad's chest and begins to sob loudly. It would have been comical, had I not been twisting around in blind panic. The holy fucking hell I was flooing four hours early all because it only took Mum all damn summer to realize this was my last train trip! The hell!

"Can we please do this in the car as we drive?" I moan, tugging on my trunk for good measure.

"Of course!" Mum says, sniffling. She takes my hand as we leave the house and I shudder as I feel tears and mascara leak onto my hand. She never wants to hold my hand when it isn't covered in snot.

Mum takes her seat as Dad gets into the driver's seat and I take the back seat. I glance down at my watch and begin to twist my hair nervously. Every year Mum and Dad act as though the train is going to wait for them to arrive at the train station and ignore the other hundreds of students on board. I can still remember their shocked and baffled faces when we missed it. I can tell they were thinking, "_What_? But this is _Harry Potter's _kids!"

When we arrive at the station forty-five minutes later I glance at the clock and see we have exactly eight minutes before it departs. I am hoping and praying that Demi and Frank saved me a seat, or at least asked where I was, unlike Third Year. Demi admitted she was glad for the time alone with Frank. I pretended I didn't mind, but later that night I stamped on her favorite Quidditch figurine and said Frank did it. They didn't speak for a week.

"Roe, stop running!" Mum snaps as we hurtle through the station. My hair is whipping out in back of me as I streak through the crowds, dodging someone here, side-stepping someone there. Finally, I get to where I need to be and literally hop through the barrier, Mum and Dad quickly behind me. "What's the hurry?" she asks as the whistle sounds.

"Bye, Mum, bye, Dad," I say, giving them a kiss in turn.

"Have a wonderful year, darling!" Mum says, kissing both of my cheeks earnestly. She smoothes back my fringe to look at my face clearly. "Write often."

"I always do," I say, though it isn't really true. Mum writes weekly and I scribble back occasionally when I get the chance. Usually it was just a quick hello, how are you, how is everything and then I'm done. I never delve into what goes on at school because, quite frankly, I can not see myself writing the words blowjob or Cole to my mother.

"And be safe," Dad warns.

I freeze, my guilty mind instantly leaping to something Cole related, like shagging. I wonder for a second if my father is asking me to be safe in my shagging.

"About what?" I ask nervously.

"Well, anything. Quidditch, mostly," he says, peering at me questioningly. "Don't want to fall off the broom. What did you think I meant?"

"Quidditch," I lie, giving him my best, winning smile.

"Roe!" I hear from behind me and see Demi leaning out the window looking quite relieved to see me. "Hurry it up!" She rolls her eyes and then smiles at my parents. "Hi Harry! Hi Ginny!"

"Hi, Demi," Mum calls back, holding up her hand in greeting. She turns to me and smiles warmly. "I love you, Rosemary."

I wince at the use of my full name, as it is only ever used when I am in the deepest of troubles. I'm sure Mum and Dad do not know that is what I associate it with, for I know they would not use it if they did. For me it's like when a dog does something wrong, like pees on the rug, and their owners say, "Bad Sparky! Bad dog!" in that voice dog owners get. That is usually the tone I am hearing my full name in. Well, my full first name. If my middle name is involved I'm usually grounded within minutes. I have only had my entire name used four times in my entire life. It never ended well, except the last time when I told James to suck my dick. Usually, though, they reserve it for when I'm in real deep shit and I should consider dropping off the face of the Earth.

"You'll be home for Christmas?" Mum asks earnestly.

"Of course!" I say with an exasperated smile. From behind me I can hear the train gearing up to pull away from the station. "I love you guys!" I say to them and hurry towards Demi's compartment.

As soon as I step onto the train I feel as though an entire weight has been lifted from me. Here it doesn't matter who I date or when Cole and I see each other because the chances of someone relaying it back to my parents is very dim. Frank's dad teaches Herbology, but I don't plan on snogging Cole in the middle of class, so I'm safe there. McGonogall doesn't give a crap what I do or who I do it with, as long as I kick Slytherin ass on the Quidditch field. (Oh! Did I forget to mention I made Captain? I'm very excited about it. My first job as Captain is to find myself a new Keeper. The one we had last year was a fucking arsehole—wait, that was Michael.)

"Finally! I thought you were going to miss the train," Demi says snappishly as I seat myself across from her, "again." I knew she was going to add that last little bit. It's been exactly four years since it happened, but it will be another forty until she stops telling that story every September 1st.

"Nope," I say. "I just had to say goodbye to my parents." I turn to her. "And how are you and your parents?"

"Still tense," she admits with a sigh. She glances over at Frank, who is reading the paper. "They still haven't exactly warmed to the idea of us being married."

"Well, they would probably have been more alright with it if you didn't lie and tell them you were pregnant," Frank says without looking up from the paper.

Demi turns to him indignantly. "I was nervous and they were getting angry!"

"They were angry because you said you were pregnant," Frank replies, looking up at her momentarily. "It doesn't matter, though, it's over and I'm sure when we set a date they'll be alright with it."

Demi beams at him and then turns back to me. "Frank's mum sent me the most…er, _interesting_ tiara to wear for the ceremony."

"Did she?" I ask, a slight teasing note in my voice as I raise my eyebrows. Demi smirks at me and then glances over at Frank quickly. "It couldn't be the one with the golden radishes, could it?"

By now Frank can tell we're kidding and he gives us each a glare. "Alright, so she can be a bit odd, but the sentiment was nice," he snaps. I feel a little guilty. Frank is a little sensitive when it comes to his mother's…er, craziness. He certainly took after his father far more than he took after Luna. The only one to actually resemble her in any way is Frank's little sister, Leonora, who has Luna's blond hair and giant blue, batty eyes.

"You're right, Frank, I'm sorry," Demi instantly amends, leaning over to kiss him. He complies, acting as though doing it grudgingly, but I can tell he would kiss her after their unlikely divorce.

Demi turns to me with an amused smile and swiftly glances back out the window, intent on not giggling further. I know she may mock the tiara now, but I know Demi, and she is a true romantic at heart. She was probably wishing Luna would give something to her, as she would be marrying her only son. However, I do not think she expected golden radishes.

Frank's parents were much more receptive to the idea of Frank and Demi getting married. Demi told me that the first thing Luna did was rush into the kitchen to make them a drink, which tasted like rose water with lemon. Neville congratulated them and his only advice was to wait until they were out of school and on their own two feet, which they readily agreed upon.

Demi tries to act as though it isn't any big deal that she's getting married, and she tries to act as though she could get married tomorrow or in ten years, that she doesn't care, but I know that she does. I catch her gazing adoringly at Frank or at her engagement ring and I know she would do it right here in the compartment if she could. I'm sure it will be a matter of days after graduation before their wedding. Over the past month she has already decided on what kinds of flowers she will walk down the isle with, though she changed her mind about a thousand times before she finally made a decision, and so far she hasn't changed it again.

As I said before, Frank's family was much more receptive to the wedding. Alice, Frank's older sister, has already owled Demi five times about cakes and took her out to gaze wonderingly at wedding dresses, which I thought was a bit premature (I was also jealous I wasn't invited, but whatever).

It isn't that Remus and Tonks don't want them to get married, it's just that they do not want Frank and Demi to rush into anything. When Demi pointed out that Remus and Tonks were barely dating four months when they got married and they've now lasted twenty-one years, she was promptly sent to her room to "calm down."

"Have you talked to Cole yet today?" Demi asks.

"No," I say with a sigh, breaking out of my thoughts. "We were supposed to meet before the train left, but my parents woke up late, again." I roll my eyes. Usually we have Elizabeth screeching from the bottom of the stairs, but she has gone missing again.

She has been doing this dozens of times over the past month. I am not sure she has slept in her own bed for more than one night for the entire month of August! When I asked James about it, for what felt like the thousandth time, he told me to bugger off and get him a tricycle. I refused and he fell back asleep.

I no longer care what she is doing. She is an adult and can do what she wants, when she wants, and with whom she wants. I should just be lucky she doesn't wonder where I disappear to a few times a week, or I think I might be in real trouble. She is a far better detective than I am, and I have no doubt she would have figured out what we were doing almost immediately.

At Demi's mention of Cole, I am suddenly very curious as to where he could possibly be. I turn towards the door, willing him to open it and sit down next to us as though he does it every year. Perhaps he doesn't want to leave his friends. Maybe I should go and seek him out?

The mere thought of Petra's face when I come to their compartment to sit keeps me sitting in my compartment with Frank and Demi.

I turn back towards them and watch as they bicker over the crossword puzzle. Demi should listen to Frank, as she sounds a bit foolish.

"Demi, that is _not_ how you spell it!" Frank says, tugging the paper back. "And even if it were, which it isn't," he presses, "it wouldn't fit with Grindewald in forty-seven down!"

Demi can smell defeat, for she slaps the paper away from her. "Who needs that stupid puzzle anyways?" she asks moodily, crossing her legs with a flop. "It's for stupid people."

"You liked it when you thought you knew the answer," Frank replies calmly. I do not know why he does this, why he provokes her. Perhaps he likes to fight with her…which is kind of weird. All I know is that sometimes we'll be all sitting around and Demi will make a comment and Frank will comment on that comment and a moment later they are fighting.

So, I swiftly cut in before they can start fighting. "You know, James is going to be moving out by next summer," I inform them. "I'm thinking of turning his room into a closet for my flip-flops or a room full of mirrors so I can see myself at all angles."

Demi turns to me, surprised, and ignores my zany ideas for a spare room. "He's moving out?" she asks, perplexed. "Well, I shudder to think what he'll do in his own home, seeing as he does almost everything with other people living there. It's a dangerous thing when you have no modesty and humility. It makes you crazy," she says sagely. "Especially when you just start tossing off all the time!"

"Oh!" I say, rolling with eyes. "He was not tossing off that time."

"All I know was that when I opened the bathroom door he slammed it shut and went ballistic on me."

"That's because he was in the bathroom!" I cry. "His private bathroom, I might add."

"Yours was taken by Elizabitch!" she snaps, giving me a glare before continuing on with her points. "Well, I went back and checked in his cabinets and there was tons of porn," she says to me. She shrugs and leans back in her seat. "Enough said."

I am a bit embarrassed by this conversation but figure I must continue. "Demi, do you really think he was going to toss of with his little sister and her best friend in the _next room_?"

She raises her hands in innocence. "I don't know. I'm not a boy." She turns to Frank suddenly and he goes on reading as though he doesn't know our attention is suddenly turned to him. "Frank…" she calls.

"Why do I have to be the only boy in this group?" he groans, looking at Demi. "What, Demi? What do you want to know?"

"Do you think it's wrong to toss of if your little sister is in the next room?"

"Yes," he says and looks back down at his paper.

"But you did it for me that one—" His hand is on her mouth immediately and half his body is leaning on her. His face seems to get redder and redder as the milliseconds count down until he is totally beet red.

After a moment he lowers his hand from Demi's mouth and she brings her bottom lip under her teeth, which is a sure sign that she is embarrassed. There is a tense, awkward silence for a moment and then we all go about our business as though that little thing has never happened. I am actually thinking about Obliviating it from my mind as soon as we get back to school.

I don't look at Frank and he doesn't look at me. His red face disappears behind his paper, though I know he is probably no longer reading it as much as trying to regain some composure.

The train ride goes on for an hour and I am just wondering if I am ever going to see Cole, and whether I should go and see him myself, when someone pokes their head into our compartment and smiles happily at me. It's Cole.

"There you are!" he exclaims. "What happened to meeting me on the platform?" He leans down and kisses me tenderly. His lips always feel so nice and warm and soft that I could simply melt further into them.

"My parents ran late," I murmur in between kisses. "I'm sorry." We kiss longer this time and then after a moment he plops down and I chase after his lips, not yet ready to rid myself of them.

"Oh, gross! Get a room!" Demi calls across the compartment. "We're engaged and you don't see us going at it like horny chipmunks."

"Is that what we look like?" I ask her mockingly. "Horny chipmunks?"

She sniffs at me with indignation and turns away from me. "Yes, and ugly ones at that."

I giggle, but turn back to Cole and kiss him again. His hand goes from the back of my head to rest on the tops of my leg, just near my hip. He grips it as I kiss him harder, making me slowly lose touch with my surroundings. My hand goes to the back of his head and I hold him in place, for I do not want his lips reaching my neck. If it does then I will have no choice but to shag him right here in front of Frank and Demi.

"Seriously, guys," Demi says angrily, "get a room! You're disgusting!"

"Sorry," Cole mumbles, though his mouth detaches from my mouth to kiss along my jaw line. Perhaps we seem like a bunch of hormonal teens, but we haven't seen each other in nearly three weeks. He went away with his family and family friends and the boy was clinging to Cole so much that he could sneak off. He told me that he suspected the boy waited outside while he went to the bathroom.

"Yeah, sorry, Demi," I say insincerely and shift closer to Cole.

Demi sat in furious silence until Cole nibbled on my earlobe and I let out a load groan. She jumped up, started screaming at us and made us leave the compartment.

So, this is why I now find myself in the tiny Hogwart's Express bathroom, my back pressed against the wall and the toilet. The only good thing about the small size is that Cole and I have no choice but to be pressed against one another, which is quite nice when you've been wrenched apart for three weeks.

We stay in the bathroom for nearly any hour and kiss ourselves to the point where we either have to stop or just shag already, when that annoying knock begins to sound at the door. Cole and I ignore it at first, as we are so wrapped up in each other we do not notice our surroundings. Though, it gets louder and more frequent and then we hear, "Oi! There are other people who need to use to loo!"

I am assuming from his tone that he is probably a Second Year who figures we're a scared First Year hiding in the bathroom afraid of the other students. I remember what it was like to be a Second Year and no longer be a walking target for the older students. Ah, the good old days.

Well, Cole and I continue on with our snog session as though the boy hadn't spoken, that was until he says, "If you don't come out I'm going to go get someone to bring you out!"

At this point Cole breaks away with great difficulty and turns towards the door. "Hold on," he said to me. He unlocks it and pokes his head out. "Hey! Listen. I'm in here right now and when I'm done then you can have the bathroom for the rest of the trip if you feel like it. For now, use the other bathroom. Please," he adds. There is a tense silence and then Cole turns to me. "Give me some money."

"What?" I hiss. "No!"

"Roe…" Cole says.

"Oh, this is ridiculous," I mutter angrily and search my pockets. I come out with nothing more than a galleon and a sickle.

"Well, you're just rolling in dough, aren't you?" Cole says sarcastically, and turns back to the boy outside and says, "Here are six galleons and three sickles if you leave us alone and keep your mouth shut."

"Wicked!" I hear and then Cole turns back to me look quite harassed.

"Stupid Second Years," he growls. He turns back to me and smiles. "Where were we?"

"Leaving," I say regretfully, twisting my shirt around.

"What? Why?" he asks indignantly. "I just paid that kid to leave us alone!"

"Cole!" I say in surprise. "Did you really think I came in here with you to shag? It's the _bathroom_ in the _Hogwarts Express_! I am not shagging in here!"

"But! But…" he trails off miserably. "I haven't seen you in _ages_!"

"Three weeks," I remind him as he nuzzles my neck in a way that will very quickly have me doing whatever it is he wants. I try to twist away from it, but in the cramped space we're in, it isn't very easy.

"Still," Cole mumbles against my neck. He kisses one sensitive spot on my neck and for a second I swear I see white spots behind my clenched eyes.

"Cole…" I protest again. "Oh, bugger."  
OoOoOo

An hour later and I am sitting very quietly across from Demi, who seems furious, as though she knows I just acted like a total slag and shagged Cole in the bathroom. Well, not exactly, but pretty close. I'm not sure if it could be considered shagging…well, anyways, Demi's pissed.

She and Frank apparently continued to bicker the entire time we were gone, so at least all the tension isn't because of me, and I can blame Frank a little bit, which I am. Stupid Frank.

"We should get into our uniforms," Demi says to me a second after she got so furious with Frank that she slapped him over the head with a magazine. "I think I can see the castle from here."

"Wicked," Frank says, "I'm starving."

"There's a surprise," Demi snaps.

"Well, aren't we just a ray of fucking sunshine," Frank replies irritably. I jump in surprise. Frank never swears! I have heard Frank swear on four different occasions and it was completely called for every time! If Demi and Frank are so angry at each other that it's causing Frank to swear at her then they must really be mad at each other! What if they break up because Demi is such a bitch? She'll be devastated!

"Are you guys going to split up?" I blurt out before I can stop myself.

I am met with two bewildered and baffled expressions. Finally, after a full minute of silence, Demi finds her voice and says, "No! Why do you say that?"

"Frank swore!" I cry, pointing at him. He sits back and gives me a look that I know is asking me what planet I came from and why wont I got back.

"Well, people swear, Roe," Frank replies.

"Not you! You never swear!" I say earnestly. "You didn't even swear that time you fell off your broom and broke your arm! And that was a _long_ fall."

He shrugs, but does give Demi a slightly sheepish look. "We're just…bickering," he replies. "Everyone does it."

"No they don't," I reply stubbornly.

"I'm sure you and Cole do it, Roe," Demi says, speaking for the first time.

I say, "No we don't!" just ask Cole says, "All the time."

I wheel around to glare at him. "We bicker?" I ask him.

"Sometimes," he replies looking apprehensive. I've been known to go from zero to sixty in one second or less with him. He can be so damn annoying sometimes, the way he knows exactly how to push my buttons effortlessly. Some people need to try a few statements out to see what would get me angry, but not Cole. He already knows what will make me angry or annoyed without even thinking about it.

"When do we bicker?"

"I said we bicker sometimes," he replies as calmly as he can manage.

Though, the same can be said for me, I guess: I also know how to get on his nerves without any effort. It can be good fun if there isn't anything else to do, because he usually gets so fired up he doesn't know what to say and stumbles over his words and finally looks like such a fool that he gives up.

"We don't bicker," I reply in a very sweet voice.

"We are now," he points out.

"This isn't bickering," I snap.

"Yes it is," he replies.

"No it isn't," I snarl.

"Yes," he says, slowly and pointedly, "it is."

"No it isn't!"

"YES IT IS!" three voices shout. I turn in surprise to Demi and Frank, who are looking at us wide-eyed. Finally, after glaring at Demi and Frank as best I can, I turn back to Cole.

"No it isn't," I hiss and then stand up quickly to yank my trunk down from above me. I get up as high as I can on my tip-toes before I feel someone next to me.

"Let me get that," Cole says, reaching up effortlessly and bringing down my trunk as though it was weightless. I can not suppress a smile at how polite and gentleman-like he is with me. Sometimes. There was that one time he refused to kill the spider that was in his room. So it was his pet, big freaking deal.

"Thank you," I say in my best dignified voice and place it on my seat. I flip it open and find my uniform waiting for me, folded to perfection. I take them out and then turn to Frank and Cole. "You have to leave."

"I've seen you naked dozens of times," Cole says to me.

"Well, you haven't seen me," Demi says, turning to him with her eyebrows raised. "And you aren't going to start today. Leave."

"C'mon, there was a free room right next door, I think," Frank says, grabbing his pants out of his trunk. He finds his socks and then turns to Demi, his face pushed forward. She looks at him for a fraction of a second before she understands what he wants and kisses him with a smile. "I'll be right back."

"Alright, love," she says, watching him and Cole leave. As soon as the door closes over she turns to me with a smile on her face. "You're crazy, you know that?" she says, shaking her head. "Frank and I are the farthest people away from splitting up!"

"He never swears!" I snap.

"He swears plenty," she replies. "You just never hear it."

I almost ask why I wouldn't hear it but think the better of it and yank my uniform on. I give a sigh as I realize I will never do this again. This will be the last time I will ever sit in the train compartments with Demi. Unless we both become teachers who take the train every year…which I highly doubt will happen.

My heart gives a painful wrench and I have to fight off another wave of unease as I roll the itchy wool socks up my legs. I turn to Demi briefly before bending down to tie my laces with numb fingers.

Before I was so happy to come back and get this damn year over with so I can start with my life, but now as I reflect back on it I know I will always miss moments like these, the simple ones where Demi and I are are dressing for the Welcome Feast.

I want to voice my concerns and fears with Demi, but I fear that she will no longer sympathize or share them with me. We used to fantasize what it would be like to be grown up and on our own for the first time. This was before Frank and she were a couple and when we still thought we'd live together. Now it seems as though everything is different and nothing will be the same again.

For me, it is really different. I no longer see us as the same people that started out in First Year. I'm not the same person anymore, frankly, and neither is she. Frank definitely softened her up a bit if not completely. Demi used to be so bitchy and headstrong and stubborn. The only people who could fight with her and win were Frank, her parents and me. Even with me, the girl who knew every little secret and fantasy Demi had, I still had trouble winning a fight. She would get violent.

Now as I look over at her she's pulling her hair back into a braid and smiling vaguely out the window. She always vowed that nothing would be different between any of us if she got married. Had I known at that time that she and Frank were slowly creeping towards dating I might have chosen my words differently, for I would have definitely made her make the Unbreakable Vow with me that nothing would change and we'd stay the same as we were.

I would never do anything to hurt Frank or Demi's relationship, and this might seem just a bit weird, but I feel jealous of it sometimes. Not because I am yearning for a relationship like theirs, because I already have it with Cole. No, I am jealous mainly that we were all best friends, equals. But now they love each other in a way that they don't love me and I will never know what it feels like to be loved like that be either of them. This is where it may seem weird, but Frank gets to love Demi and be with Demi in a way I could never be without crossing some very life-altering lines. Demi is my best friend and I am supposed to be the one person she goes to for all of her problems and I am supposed to help her through them because Frank doesn't understand, he's a boy. There is an unwritten rule in the world that if you have a penis then you are no use to a girl for some if not most of her problems! Also, boys should never, ever take away from a girl's friendship with her friends because you never know if that friend is plotting your death or not as it is. Demi used to go to me for everything!

However, it's changed now. Demi goes to Frank with her problems and I feel as though I am slowly losing my best friend to some familiar yet unknown force. I wonder what we'll be like ten years from now and whether we'll still be the best of friends or if we'll be the type that owls every once in a while but doesn't keep in touch. The type that may bump into each other in Diagon Alley and will suffice with a quick hello and a chat before merrily going on their ways. The thought makes me sick because Demi and I were so close. We still are, just not the same as we used to.

It might seem plausible that I could very well hate Frank for partially stealing my best friend, but I can't. Demi would be miserable without him. Even if they hadn't dated I know she would be looking for someone that was just like him because it is like he was made just for her, as though the starts aligned and fate stepped in and guided them to each other. Frank had dozens of compartments to choose from and Demi just happened to be nice and warm that day, I still don't know why. Perhaps fate put a rare smile on her face because it was tired of seeing her scowl, who knows. All I know is that they both got lucky, because, really, Demi is really gorgeous, but a complete bitch sometimes and Frank is sort of dorky and not the usual type someone who looks like Demi goes for. They got to know each other and fell in love…which is how fate wanted it, apparently.

Maybe Demi and I were meant to support each other during our teen years and help guide each other towards our soul mates and then we would gracefully part each other's life on good but distant terms. Perhaps we are the type that fades away as the years go by. Again, the thought makes me sick. The idea of not being Demi's best friend anymore makes me feel as though I don't know what I'm doing. I can not remember a time in my life where Demi wasn't there and to try and start is like wondering what the world was like before it was created. I can not even fathom the image of it.

I have never liked Frank in a romantic way. Ever. From age eleven I always had a feeling that he was somehow Demi's, as though she peed on him and marked him as hers or something (and I wouldn't put it past her, either). He was always something unattainable, and that was fine. Frankly, the thought of Frank and I dating makes me giggle uncontrollably. It is so ridiculous. However, I do stop and it hits me, the unavoidable question I must ask myself: Why Demi? What made her so special that Frank chose her over me? I think we are just as pretty, though I'm sure she's a little prettier and her boobs are bigger than mine, and sure, her hair does change colors when she sneezes or is angered, but other than that, I was sure we were the same. But, somehow, something about her struck Frank and he chose her over me. I'd ask him about it, but I'm not sure how it would sound, to be quite honest, and I do not want Demi to think I am trying to weasel in with Frank or something. I know it's crazy, but I do wonder why her? What does she have that I don't have?

I also ask myself the same question when it comes to Cole. He could have had any and every willing girl in the castle and of all of them he continued to seek me out and pester me for dates. At first I simply assumed it was just because I kept saying no. However, he's proved that that wasn't the reason at all. So, I must ask myself: Why me? What did I have the other girls didn't have? I'm sure there are other girls out there that aren't half as crazy as I am, and I'm sure there are girls who would not only shag willingly in the bathroom but also on rooftops or in classrooms. Cole could have anyone and he chose me.

"What are you thinking about?" Demi asks me.

I turn to her sharply. Should I ask her and voice my fears?

"Nothing," I reply with a short smile. I glance back down at my shoelace, which I haven't been able to tie through my thoughts. "Nothing."

OoOoOo

I didn't want to lay a guilt trip on Demi with all of my crazy ramblings and thoughts, so I keep them to myself and make a note to voice them to Cole as soon as we get a moment alone together. I can't burden Demi with them, but it is Cole's job as a boyfriend to not only listen to my crazy ramblings, but to search for a solution with me even if there is no plausible one in sight.

"Did I mention how unbelievably amazing you look today?" Cole asks as we wait for a carriage a few steps behind Frank and Demi. "And I'm not just saying that because you're my girlfriend. If I were some random boy on the street I would be struck by your beauty and possibly be rendered unable to talk anymore."

"Very nice," I say to him, amazed to find my cheeks caught up in a deep blush as he kisses my cheek. I glance over at Demi and Frank again and sigh.

"What's the matter?" Cole asks and I fight the urge to dance in delight. Demi taught me that there are three sighs a girl can do to alert her boyfriend to her mood. She said they usually pick up on your mood and if not, dump them because they're probably not good lovers.

"Well," I say, fighting the urge to say 'nothing' again. I think 'nothing' must be a conditioned response. Even for a girl like me who doesn't like to leave their boyfriend in the dark I fight the urge to do so and make him guess. "I'm just feeling a bit sad about this being our last year and not seeing everyone everyday for nine months. You know?"

"Yeah, I guess," he says, shrugging his shoulders. "I'm just excited to get out on my own for the first time. Aren't you excited to see what it's like without the safety net of your parents or Hogwarts?"

I think about it for a second. "I guess I am," I say eventually. "I haven't really thought about it like that."

"Just think, Roe," Cole says, excitement creeping into his voice. "You can do anything you want to. Not to sound corny, but the world is your oyster. You have thousands of possibilities and choices. Doesn't that excite you?"

"No," I admit. "It did…but now it doesn't." I find myself glancing back over at Demi and sigh again, heavily.

"Roe, come on, what's the matter? You've been off for almost a month now!" Cole says, turning me around to face him completely.

I open my mouth to say something else, but instead find, "What if everything is _too_ different and open and stuff?"

"What do you mean?" he asks.

"What if you decide you want to do one thing and I want to do another and we grow apart from each other?" I ask and then plow on before he can realize that I think about me and him in the future…many years in the future with kids and maybe a dog…or a dragon. "Or…what if Demi—" I suddenly burst into those awful, gulpy tears. I can not believe that I chose this moment among the thousands I've had the past month to start crying. I couldn't have chosen to cry last week when I was in the beginning process of packing, or last night when I finished packing and was moping around my room with nothing else to do. Then would have been a good…nay, _awesome_ time to start crying.

Now, in front of Cole, is not a good time for many reasons. For one, I've never cried like this in front of Cole and it may scare him a little if he hasn't seen a girl cry like this before. Also, I do not want Demi to see me, for she will instantly want to know what's wrong and I'll be forced to tell her.

"Roe…?" Cole says, and I can hear the apprehension in his voice.

"Just…_hug_ me," I sob and then a second later I feel my face pressed into his chest. He wraps his arms around me and I feel as though everything I've been afraid of is slowly creeping away. His arms wrapped around me makes me feel as though he wouldn't ever leave me. It is almost like he is reading my mind and he knows what I am afraid of. His embrace is comforting and warm despite the lingering heat in the air. Snuggled against him, my shoulders shaking as I release the tension in my body, I feel safer and comforted somehow, and I didn't even have to tell him about it.

Another great thing about Cole is that he knows the best way to comfort me. I hate when I am crying and people tell me in that obnoxious, "comforting" voice that it's "alright, stop crying…shhh…" I'm sorry, but all I can think is shut the fuck up, I want to cry!

Cole just holds me and lets me cry until all my tears dry up. I finally find the courage to glance up at him and see that he staring down at me in concern. I see that some of my makeup has smeared onto a part of his white shirt and I curse myself for trying to look pretty.

"I'm sorry," I whisper thickly.

"Are you alright?" he asks. His thumbs come up to my cheeks and wipe the tears away from my eyes. Then he cups my chin and looks into my eyes.

I sniffle and nod jerkily and take out my wand. His shirt is back to normal and my tears have cleared up and dried by the time Demi whips around and says, "Finally! Those damn carriages only took a freaking hour! Why are your eyes all puffy?"

"Denise Henning's cat was near me a couple of minutes ago," I lie easily. I'm slightly allergic to cats, though not in the usual sense. Most people get sniffly and their eyes water whenever a cat comes near me. I, however, feel the strangest urge to shove it down the stairs or drop-kick it or something. Oh, and I sneeze.

"That cat is a menace to society," she says after a fraction of a second. I can tell almost immediately that she doesn't believe me. Her eyes lingered on mine for longer than they should have before she spoke and the look in her own eyes told me everything I needed to know. "I think this will be the year I petrify it. Frank, help me?"

"Of course," he replies.

"Roe can lure it away from Denise, I'll bag it and you can hold it down while we kill it," Demi says.

"And after we're caught?" Frank asks.

"Cole's dad can bail us out!" she says with a broad smile.

"It'll be his finest moment as a father," Cole replies, hoisting himself into the carriage. I snuggle next to him and simply need to be near him. He is now what I think of when I want comfort.

I realize with a jolt that perhaps I am a bit daft. Demi obviously must feel for Frank the exact same way I feel for Cole. She probably sees him as someone who can protect her and comfort her in a way that I know Demi couldn't for me. For a start she's the type of person who will never, ever go check out a noise with me. Also, we're about the same height though, as usual, she's got about an inch or two on me. Cole, however, is like nine feet taller than I am. I measured myself last week and I am a healthy 5'4. Cole also measured himself and he is 6'2. That is a very big height difference sometimes, especially if I'm trying to look up at him to yell. Sometimes my neck cricks or the sun gets in my eyes and I decide it is no use. Well, he being so tall and so much bigger than me makes me instantly feel at eased, while Demi makes me feel as though she isn't going to be any help.

I glance over at Demi and Frank for what feels like the millionth time and see them snuggled close together, whispering and giggling. Once or twice he'll pull at the hand that has her ring on it and she'll raise it slightly so they both can see it. This does not go unnoticed by me and I find a smile coming to my face.

"Hey," Cole whispers to me and I turn to look at him. "How are you feeling? Better?"

I think about it and then I smile. "Yes," I reply. "Better."

OoOoOo

Cole and I have to say goodbye at the door and we sneak a quick kiss before he is lost in the crowd. I feel a slight sense of loss at his sudden departure, but instantly Frank and Demi surround me and walk on either side of me as we head into the Great Hall.

They seem to be in the middle of a conversation, but continue on.

"Whatever," Demi says. "I just don't want Herbology first thing in the morning. I smell like earth for the rest of the day."

"I'd rather Herbology than Transfiguration," Frank replies with a slight grimace. "You need to be on top of everything in that class or you miss out on everything! And with N.E.W.T's this year, I'm not taking any chances."

"As if you have a choice," Demi replies with a smirk. "What about you, Roe? What would you rather?"

"History of Magic," I reply. "For me it allows me to catch up on my sleep that I may have missed from the night before." Demi scowls heavily. She is the only person I know who _can not_ fall asleep during Binns's class. It isn't that she doesn't want to or try to, because she really does, she simply can't. So, she's the note-taker for the three of us. And it is a very good thing that I already speak and read Demi because her notes are almost in a different language. For the first couple of weeks in First Year Frank had a hard time and looked to me as the expert in this area, as I had much experience with Demi. I quickly translated for him and eventually he found his own way and now we both speak and read Demi.

"It's a stupid class," she replies moodily.

We sit down at the table and, as always, I am shunted to the side slightly so that Demi and Frank can sit together. It was different until Fourth Year. I was always in the middle, because I was usually mediator for the two of them. They never fought, exactly, but I could tell that they wanted to…or they wanted to do _something_ and my body in between them would probably help them out. Otherwise they could have been shagging since Second Year or something!

We sit down on the benches and I gaze longingly at the empty platters and plates. I am hoping that McGonagall decides to forego the usual speech and let us eat. I do this every year and every year she gets up and does a speech anyways.

My stomach rumbles loudly. I didn't get to eat anything on the train because I was being held hostage in the bathroom by my boyfriend and my friend was too mad to secure me a pumpkin pasty.

"Oh, hurry you old woman!" I hiss angrily and, as though someone heard my plea, the doors fly open and the First Years file in. "Damn it all to hell!" I forgot about them.

"What is your problem?" Demi snaps finally. "You sound as though you're having a damn psychotic breakdown!"

"I am!" I reply in a sort of moan. "I'm so hungry!"

"Here," she snaps and hands me something under the table.

I instantly feel it with my fingers of my hand and feel my eyes widen in delight. It's a pumpkin pasty! I turn to Demi, beaming.

"I love you, Demi!" I say sincerely and hastily open the wrapper while turning back to the Sorting.

See, this is why I simply love Demi. She always knows what I want sometimes before even I do. In fact, when I was little, I actually wanted to _be_ Demi.

Mum had me write an essay when I was eight that would explain to her who I would choose to be. I could be any singular person in history and I had to give valid examples and reasons as to why I would choose this person.

My immediate thought was to be Demi. If I couldn't be myself then the second best person to be was Demi. Plus, to me, she had it all: her own room (I was still sharing with Elizabeth at the time), her own set of parents she didn't have to share, a new broom, fabulous hair and really pretty eyes. Plus, she always felt as though she were already a part of me that it like I could cheat Mum's dumb essay and still write about myself.

Mum, to say the least, was a bit put-off when she read my essay. She asked me why I chose Demi of all the thousand people in the world while James chose Dad, which made Mum cry and Elizabeth chose Mum, which made Mum sob.

I almost said because I'm not a kiss ass like some people, but instead I said because I wouldn't want to live in another time period and we were pretty close to the same person as it is. Mum gave me a C and it is still a sore spot between us.

The Sorting ends, to my enthusiastic applause. Now all I need to sit through is McGonagall's speech and then I get me some good old fashioned Hogwarts cuisine. I can almost taste the roast beef now.

"You're drooling," Demi points out to me halfway through McGonagall's speech. "I sincerely hope you're dreaming of food, and not something else sitting at another table." She nods her head at Cole. I gaze over at him only to see him staring longingly down at his plate. "It's good to see bright minds think alike," Demi says sarcastically.

I toss her a swift glare but as soon as I hear applause I perk up instantly and begin clapping and cheering as though McGonagall just secured me the Quidditch Cup and told me I no longer had to do homework in any of my classes.

"Finally!" I say as the food appears.

The food is amazing, as usual. The only thing I look forward to more than Hogwarts dinner is Hogwarts dessert. It is the epitome of delicious heaven in my mouth and I am almost positive it is all baked with me in mind. It has to be. How else would my nine favorite desserts wind up on the same table right in my reach?

I am shoveling food into my mouth when I feel eyes on me. I glance up and see Cole gazing at me with the faintest hint of a smile. Self-consciously I drop my fork, only to see him smile wider at me. I shrug my shoulders in a dignified way and see that Cole is tapping to a place on his mouth.

I give him the thumbs up to tell him he has nothing on his face. He frowns at me and then taps at the corner of his mouth. Again, I give him the thumbs up and he rolls his eyes. He points at me and then at his mouth. My hand flies up and I feel whipped something in the corner of my mouth. I am a bit surprised I did not feel the giant glop that was on my face.

I blush and wipe it away from my mouth as hastily as I can and then find myself smiling bashfully at him from across the room.

"C'mon, Roe," Demi says some ten minutes later after she has finished and I have been eye-flirting with Cole. He gives me what I have come to know as his "seducing face" which he says he only reserves for me. I am pleased, because if anyone got to see it then it would lose its novelty. I haven't had the nerve to tell him I find it more funny than sexy because I am sure there are hundreds of things I do that I think are sexy but he thinks is funny…which actually isn't a very comforting thought. Oh, bugger it all to hell! I will now think of this all night.

I walk along the hall with Demi and Frank until I feel someone slip their hand into mine. I almost yanked mine back, afraid of who it might be, but then I see it is Cole and I relax instantly. My body almost melts against his smile.

"I just wanted to say goodnight," he says to me, leaning down to capture my mouth for a kiss. I kiss him back tenderly and we still manage to keep walking without bumping into anything.

Suddenly, though, we come to a stop and I know we are standing outside of the Fat Lady. I hear her muttering darkly about Cole and I and for a moment I am tempted to break away from him and make a hasty retreat.

Though, ten minutes later and I'm glad I didn't. Demi and Frank have gone in already and they promised to wait for me. Though, if I go over twenty minutes they're going to bed without me. Not that we sleep together, but they will depart without waiting for me.

"I should go," I say regretfully, stepping back from him. His lips stay glued to mine until there is too much space between us and they do not connect any longer. "It's going to be hell for me to wake up and I have to unpack."

"Okay," he says, kissing me again. He steps back and smiles down at me in that way I know is just for me. "I'll see you tomorrow maybe? Maybe we'll have some classes together."

I smile at him until he rounds the corner and turn back to the Fat Lady. My smile fades instantly at the look on her face.

"What?" I snap.

She looks affronted. "This isn't some brothel, young lady! Do your parents know you kiss a boy like that?"

"Yes, they do," I snap. "And mind your own damn business!"

She gives a shriek of outrage, but I say the password and she has no choice but to swing open and let me in. I stumble over the threshold and look back once with a look of annoyance before I spot Demi and Frank on a couch by the fire. I walk over and plop onto the couch next to Demi.

"What took you so long?" she asks.

"The Fat Lady wouldn't let me in for a sec," I say, glancing down at my nails, which are in desperate need of attention. I can see that perhaps Demi and Frank want some alone time. "I'm going up to bed."

"I'll be up in a second," Demi says.

"Goodnight, Frank," I say, waving before I head up the stairs and into our dorm. I see my stuff is already in front of my usual bed. I flop onto my bed with all my clothes on and snuggle down into my pillow, images of Cole in my head. I can feel the slight lull of sleep approaching when something snaps me away from it.

"Er…Roe?"

I pick my head up and look over my shoulder to see Lila Post standing in front of my bed, twisting her hands around in front of her nervously.

"Yeah?" I ask, wonderingly.

"Can I talk to you for a moment?" she asks, coming around my bed.  
"Um…sure," I say, sitting up hastily and sliding down the bed in case she wants to sit down. She doesn't, but she stands in front of me looking down at her hands. "What did you want to talk about?"

"How's your brother?" she blurts out suddenly.

Oh, sweet Merlin. "He's…fine," I say awkwardly and let it hang in the air. I glance at her and see her cheeks are red with embarrassment.

"Oh…good," she says with false cheer. She turns to walk away, but then turns back so sharply and quickly I give a start and my heart rate accelerates. "Well, see….I do realize how awkward this is going to be," she says to me, "but I need to ask you something."

Is it rude to deny her?

"Alright," I say grudgingly.

"We've sort of been seeing each other loosely on and off during the summer and then all of a sudden he stopped answering my owls and he's never home when I floo," she says. "I was just wondering if…maybe, he got another girlfriend?"

Why me? Of all the people in the world, why did I have to get James as a brother? Why does he have to be such a damn slut? He couldn't have chosen another girl, perhaps one I didn't ROOM with. No, he had to choose not only a roommate but stupid Lila Post.

"I don't know," I tell her. "He hasn't said anything…though he didn't say anything about you guys either." I wince immediately. That might not be what she wants to hear at the moment.

"Oh," she says and I can tell she's hurt. "Well…alright. Thanks anyways." She turns away again and then turns back to me in the same quick fashion. "Sorry for bringing it up. I shouldn't put you in the middle of all of this. I'm sorry."

"It's fine," I say, desperately wanting her out of my sight. I am already planning a nasty howler to send to James to tell him to end it properly with this girl. And, no, before I am being mistaken as a compassionate person, this is simply for my own benefit. I do not want nor need Lila bloody Post bugging me monthly, weekly, daily, or by the hour as to why my whorey brother didn't write her back.

I'll tell you why he didn't call you back, Lila, because you gave him a blowjob in the bloody bathroom!

Demi rushes over to me the second Lila walks away, her eyes wide with wonder.

"What was that about?" she asks breathlessly.

"I'll tell you later," I mutter and flop back down on the bed. I let my eyes fall closed for a second before I get into my jammies. I see that Lila is no longer making eye contact and that dumb whore-bitch Bree isn't saying anything to us, either, though she doesn't have the balls to. Demi has already vowed to kill her if she says one thing to me.

"Goodnight, Demi," I say as I pass her. I sink back into my comfortable bed and let my eyes roam around the dorm room. It is with another sad jolt that I realize this will be the last year I will spend in my dorm.

My eyes fall closed and instead of focusing on the bad I try and focus on what else life might hold for me outside of Hogwarts. With a faint blush to my cheeks I allow myself to think of my future with Cole and possibly our children.

I fall asleep with a smile on my face.

A/N Review and give me feedback! This chapter was written as a sentimental look as soon as one enters their school for their last first day. As someone who is experiencing something just like this, I can totally relate.


	13. Chapter 13

Early the next morning I meet up with Cole. He promised me he would sit with me at breakfast this morning but I want to tell him not to bother. I'm ditching the breakfast table and hiding out in the library until Demi comes and gets me. Why, may you ask?

Lila Post.

Lila fucking Post.

I woke up this morning to light crying. At first I assumed I was hearing things and turned over to go back to bed when I heard soothing voices and a great deal of shooshing. My eye cracked open on its own accord and I found myself staring at the ceiling, wondering who could possibly be crying.

"Oh, don't do this to yourself!" I heard a voice say.

"But I thought he liked me!" a sobbing voice returned.

"Fuck him," another said passionately. "Who wants an arse for a boyfriend, anyways?"

"And didn't you even tell me he wasn't that great of a shag?" the soothing voice asks. "Do you really want someone who can't even shag you properly?"

"No," the sobbing voice says quietly. "I suppose not." There is suddenly a large, suction noise as though someone just vaccumed up a pair of wooly socks and the voice says, "He had a small willy, too."

Half asleep I smirked into my pillow. That is, until I heard, "Screw James Potter!"

My eyes flew open and I nearly fell out of my bed in my haste to block my ears from anymore oncoming information. My heart was pounding violently in my chest.

"Are you coming down to breakfast?"

Another sniffle. "Not yet. I think maybe I'll wait for Roe."

There was a groan. "Lila…"

At this point I was furious. What part of my distantly cold answers last night did not get the point across that I wanted nothing to do with her whatsoever? Leave me alone, damn you! I do not control my brother and I do not control his penis or who he puts it in so all girls leave me alone! I swear I'm going to rip it off and bury it down by the lake so it stops bothering people!

"I know, I know!" she said. "I just have to ask her one thing and then I'm done. I'll move on from this entire thing."

There was a sigh. "Alright. We'll come fetch you if you're not down in a half hour."

The door closed over and then I could feel Lila's eyes on my bed. A fleeting thought entered my mind: how crazy, exactly, was Lila Post? Would she, say, stab me to death in my bed just to spite my brother? Because, really, James and I aren't _that_ close. We're a bit closer, but I am still not taking a nail file to the back just because he's a narcissistic slut.

I hear Lila get up from the bed and walk across the room and through the bright, early morning light filling the room I glanced through a crack in my drapes and saw her enter the lav and close the door over.

I hopped out of bed, nearly tripping and breaking my entire body, and wrenched my trunk open. I tossed a skirt, shirt, tie and sweater onto the bed and dressed quicker than that time Mum knocked on the door while Cole was over. As I was yanking my socks up my legs I heard Demi stir.

"Roe?" she asked, clearly still half asleep. "What time is it?"

"Seven," I hissed in return.

Her eyes widened. "What are _you_ doing up at seven in the morning?"

"Escaping before Lila can stab me to death with her nail file!"

"You're _what_?" Demi nearly screeched.

"Shh!" I begged furiously. "Shut up, Demi! I don't want her to know I'm up. Listen, I'll be in the library. If Lila wants to know where I am tell her I'm eating or something. Come fetch me when she's disappeared."

"Alright," Demi replied in that 'suit yourself' tone. She flopped back into the bed and closed her eyes. Lucky bitch.

So here I am now, scurrying down the halls hoping Cole chose this hallway to go down as opposed to the dozens of others. Just my luck, though, he would have chosen today to scale the castle walls and jump through my window.

As I turn around a third corner my chest begins to tighten in protest. This is the most exercise I've gotten in quite a bit and I don't think my body appreciates it very much.

I take a moment to lean against the wall. I had currently been sprinting at top speed through the hall, getting odd looks from everyone I ran past (which was a lost First Year and a ghost). They must think I'm being chased when, in reality, I kind of am. How am I to know if Lila is right on my trail with a pointy nail file in her hand?

With that thought in mind my body regains some energy and I am able to hurry along down the hall. Just as I round the corner I see the top of someone's head that could be Cole's whip around the corner at the end of the hall.

I pick up speed and make it around the corner just as the person is about to descend down the stairs.

"Cole!" I cry.

There is a moment when the head disappears and I slump in defeat that is quickly quelled when the head suddenly reappears.

"Roe?"

"Oh, thank Merlin's balls!"

"Why?" Cole asks curiously, a slight smile on his face. "What have they done now?"

I simply shake my head and try to get some much needed oxygen into my deprived lungs. It takes another minute for my body to calm itself down before I can form more words.

"Lila Post is trying to kill me," I inform him.

There is a moment's pause and then, "Ah, I see. Of course." He does not do so sarcastically, but in a tone that implies he has come to complete terms with my zaniness. "Well, then, shall we retreat into the Great Hall?"

"No," I reply.

"What? Why not?" he asks quickly. I hear his stomach growl loudly.

"She's waiting for me!" I say and tug at his arm to lead him down a flight of stairs. "I can't let her see me, Cole!"

"But…" Cole says desperately and glances down the other end of the hallway towards the Great Hall and a steaming plate of bacon.

"You can go, of course," I say suddenly. "You don't have to hide with me."

He turns to me, his brow furrowed. "No," he says in defeat. "I'll hide with you."

"Good boy!" I say with a smile and take his hand. I begin to lead our way towards the library when my stomach gives a rumble of protest. I cough to cover it.

"I heard that," Cole mumbles as we open the library doors. It is completely deserted and filled with the echo of silence. "Here, this table." He pulls out my chair and sits across from me.

It is a moment before he begins to twiddle with his thumbs and then another minute for him to sit back in his chair with a puff of air.

"Did you bring homework?" he asks.

"We've just started."

"Right. Well, do you want to talk about anything?"

"No."

"Right."

It isn't an uncomfortable silence, but it is filled with two very hungry people who desperately want a piece of buttered toast and some jam…perhaps some bacon wrapped up in a nice, warm pancake dripping with syrup….Oh, bugger.

"You know, how big of a wound could a nail file really make?" I ask Cole, already standing. "At most it'll leave a tiny little prick mark."

"I agree with you completely."

We hurry down the hall and with his legs much bigger than mine, he gets there seconds before I do. He opens the door for me and we enter the vast hall which is filled with rich smell of breakfast.

I get to our table and pull a plate up to me and begin to pile heaps of bacon onto the plate. I feel someone sit next to me, and figuring its Cole I say, "Do you want some syrup?"

"On my diet? Are you kidding?"

Merlin's shorts! She's like some super-freak!

"Oh…er, hi, Lila!" I say and turn to her with a small smile on my face. I glance behind her to see Cole giving me an apologetic look before going over to his table and sitting between Sebastian and Petra.

What a nice boyfriend I have, leaving me to be stabbed to death over my eggs! We are definitely having a little chat about this as soon as Lila leaves my sight or my impending wounds have healed.

"Listen, Roe, I don't want to be a pest," she says. Too late, you slutty pest! I think savagely. "I just need to ask you something…"

"Lila. You listen," I say in my calmest voice. "James and I don't speak much if at all. I'm very sorry that you two were together and now you're not. Life sucks. Shit happens. I didn't know you were dating and even if I did I still couldn't comment or answer any of your questions. He's seeing someone else." Okay, lie, but whatever.

"He is?" she asks, looking heartbroken.  
"Yes. A boy, actually." Another lie, but this one is sure to have hilarious results. I hope this teaches James a little lesson…though I don't think he cares much about Hogwarts gossip anymore.

"A…boy," Lila repeats looking dazed. "Are you serious?"

"Yes," I reply, taking a much needed bite of bacon. "His name is…er, Al. Alan…Greenpot. He works in the Herbology department at the Ministry." I don't know if that exists, but Lila looks like she's buying this.

"He didn't…_seem_ gay, though," Lila says to herself. She then looks at me. "Are you sure?"

"He _is_ my brother," I say, a bit affronted.

"But you just said you two weren't close," she reasons. "Isn't possible you're mistaken?"

"Lila…trust me, he's gay. All those suppressed feelings he must have had with you probably erupted onto this Alan fellow." I turn to her, licking my fingers free from maple syrup. "Or, perhaps you turned him?"

Lila glares at me and then reaches into her robes pocket. My first instinct is to scream murder and leap away from the table. However, she hands me a small gold locket and gives a little shrug.

"He gave this me in June. He probably wants it back. It was your mother's."

I glance at it and frown. This wasn't our mother's…In fact there are a box of these in his room. He must use these to get sex. What a…_genius._

"Er…thank you. She probably wants this back."

"Well…bye, Roe. Sorry to bother you again. I won't do it anymore." She slides away from the bench and my first instinct is to go back to my breakfast when I feel another urge kick in, this one more pink and fluffy.

"Lila! Wait!" I get up from the table and see her turn back towards me. I hand her the locket. "You keep this. To remember what you guys had. James isn't all that special, but if what you guys had was special then you should have something to remember it by always."

She smiles at me with wet eyes and then, much to my horror, throws her arms around me and gives me a giant bear hug. All my gooey feelings fly out the window and I now want to shove her off into a mud puddle.

"Ah…yes….there, there," I say as she sniffles. "Well, I best get on with my pancakes…They're cooling…Lila, get off—"

"Sorry." She wipes her eyes and gestures with the locket. "Thank you, Roe. I'll remember this always."

"Great," I say dispassionately and plop back down onto the bench, eager for her flower-scented presence to be gone from my life forever.

A half our later Cole and I are still bickering off his abandonment when Demi and Frank arrive, hand in hand.

"What are you doing here?" Demi asks. "I thought you were hiding in the library?"

"No, I got too hungry," I say.

"Well, I could have told you that much!" she snaps, shaking her head. Demi always said that she always feared being locked in a room with me without food. She says, oh-so hilariously, that I'll feel hungrier before I'm actually hungry and kill and eat her before she falls asleep. Which so isn't true!

"Oh, calamity! Here comes our schedules. Hum for something easy first period."

Demi and I begin humming as Cole looks on in confusion.

"What are you--?"

Frank shakes his head. "Don't even ask."

As my schedule is handed to me, and a glare is tossed at me for ripping it from McGonogall's hands, I glance down hopefully.

"What the fuck?" Demi cries. "This is the horse's balls!"

"What?" Frank asks, choking on his pancakes.

"Potions…Transfiguration…Charms…Lunch…History of bloody Magic and then D.A.D.A. today. This day sucks." She folds it up and folds her arms, pouting.

I glance down at mine and feel the same.

"Wait…Demi!"

"What?"

"We don't…we don't have Potions together!"

"WHAT?"

My schedule is now being compared to hers.

"We don't…" she says in disbelief. "We also don't have Charms together!"

"Oh, no!" I wail.

"What's the big deal?" Cole asks and Frank winces.

Demi and I round on him, both glaring. "What's the big deal?" Demi snarls. "Try masturbating without your penis, you dolt! That's the big deal!"

"What?" Cole cries and Frank shakes his head.

"Or…or…try playing Quidditch without your broom!" I pipe in.

"Yeah!" Demi agrees, "Try doing that!"

"What the hell are you two going on about?" Cole asks.

"It's called an analogy—"

"No, no. You misunderstand me. I grasp the concept of an analogy quite well, I don't understand what you're trying to compare."

"We don't work unless we have each other," I answer him.

"Duh," Demi says and shakes her head.

Cole shakes his head and looks at Frank for help, only to be shrugged at. Really, Frank is so used to us that it isn't much use asking him. He probably hasn't realized something weird has occurred.

"Well, who am I going to have Potions with?" I wonder aloud.

OoOoOo

At first, it wasn't that bad, really. I set my things down and was completely ready to take notes and just seep into my Potions work. It wouldn't be so bad except the person I share a table with obviously does not share my concern with Potions work.

I grit my teeth at the sound of his quill scratching on the parchment as he sketches something, probably obscene, into the paper as the professor instructs us through the Potion.

"Hey! If you don't cut that out then we both won't know what we're doing and we'll fail this potion! I'll be damned if I'm going to fail because—"

"Roe, look at this. Tell me this does not look like McGonogall," Cole says, pushing it towards me.

"No, Cole, I will—Oh, hey!" I can not help the smile from creeping across my face as he takes it back and gazes at it with a look of accomplishment on his face.

"If you two will kindly pay attention!" Slughorn cries across the room. "I'm about the demonstrate step two."

Great. I don't even know what step one was. Stupid Cole and his stupid drawing of an eerily accurate McGonogall in cowboy boots.

We finally get to the bottom of this illusive step one and begin making our potions after Slughorn released us from his droning voice. He shouldn't even have to give out strenuous detentions for us. He should just read out loud from a book and we'll behave for the rest of our lives.

Great. Our potion is hardly done and Slughorn is waddling through the isles glancing in our potions with looks of hope that turn to distaste.

He walked by our table and said to me, "Now, Miss. Potter, I hope this year you may improve on your Potions abilities?"

"Maybe," I say with a smile. "I wouldn't count on it."

He shakes his head. "I don't know what went wrong! Your father was such a _brilliant_ potion maker!" He walks away, still shaking his head. I make a face at the back of his head and turn back to Cole.

"Let's just get started, alright?" Cole asks.

"You were supposed to get it started, Cole," I snarl at him.

"When did you tell me this?" he snaps.

"Fifteen minutes ago! I said get started and you said, 'Sure, I'll get right on that, Chief!'"

"I was being sarcastic!"

"How was I supposed to know that?" I very nearly shout.

"Well, for starters, when have I ever called you Chief?" he asks. "And second of all, I couldn't make a damn potion if you put a wand to my head and said you were going to kill me!" He rolls his eyes. "You're the potions expert! You always did really well when you were with Demi! How did you do that?"

"I read the instructions out loud and Demi made a potion," I say.

"Ah, same with Sebastian and I."

"Great," I snap. I throw some ingredients into the potion and pray it doesn't explode all over me.

OoOoOo

I didn't blow up the castle, but I came close to it. Cole and I managed to make a passable potion that Slughorn looked mildly surprised about. So all in all it wasn't a total disaster, just close to one.

The rest of the day goes smoothly enough, though I hardly got to see Cole. I did manage to corner him outside of Transfiguration just before his last class. I made him a pretty tempting offer to skip and come shag me. He was pretty torn and looked to be seriously considering it, when I cracked a smile. He scowled and went into class. I expect perhaps we'll make up later.

Now, at dinner, I recant for Demi my disasterous Potions lesson.

"I think that's absolutely hilarious," Demi says when I tell her about it. "Maybe now you get a taste of your own medicine!"

"What?" I ask angrily. "I didn't purposely suck at potions to piss you off, Demi. It just worked out that way for me."

"You know what I mean," she says haughtily.

I don't, but I do not want to fight with her at this moment. I go back to my sandwich just as a hoot directs my attention to the sky. I see the familiar form of the Potter family owl making its way down to the table. I frown.

"Hey, is that Hercules?" Frank asks.

"I think it is," I reply. "I wonder what he's doing here." My parents barely even write me anymore, so this must be important. My mind instantly leaps to the worst possible thing that could have happened.

"Open it," Demi instructs as soon as the letter from my mother is in my hand. I fix her with a glare. "What's that for?" she snaps.

"You're making me nervous!" I reply angrily and rip the letter open. My eyes scan it quickly and get to a certain part of the letter that makes my heart skip a beat. "Oh…"

"What?" Frank and Demi both ask at the same time.

"Elizabeth moved out of the house," I say softly.

"Really?" Demi says with interest. Frank resumes eating, no longer interested. "That's odd. Did she mention anything to you over the summer?" I fix her with a look and she nods. "Right."

I look back down at the letter and feel a slightly uneasy feeling creep into my stomach. Something is telling me something is off about this. According to Mum, Elizabeth was supposed to get a flat with our cousin Annie (Hermione and Ron's daughter), but she bailed the last minute and got a place of her own.

What's even weirder, she won't let Mum and Dad come visit her. Or, at least, she's been avoiding Mum's letters. Her secretary writes back to Mum and Dad and says Elizabeth is very busy with work.

Mum says that she would just pop in and surprise Elizabeth, but Elizabeth never told them where it was! Mum's quite pissed about this and wrote so, though in language I'd rather not repeat.

She asks me if I know anything about this. Ah, what to tell her? For starters I'm going to tell her to bug James (as punishment for the whole Lila thing) and then I'm going to inform her that I don't know anything about Elizabeth's love life.

I wonder why she's being so secretive about all of this? The logical thing would be to show Mum and Dad where you live so that they'll get off your back, not avoid them so they pester you more than ever. A rookie mistake, really.

"I wonder why she moved out," Demi says curiously.

I keep my eyes on the letter, faint color coming to my cheeks. I have not told Demi about Elizabeth sleeping around with someone. Part of me can't stand the idea of it itself. Sure, I should be happy that she's human and likes to shag as much as the next nineteen year old girl. But a part of me is saddened that she's just like me and I can no longer look at her as a role model. I mean, sure, I did use her as a role model of how not to be, but still!

"Maybe she just wanted to be closer to work," I lie. It sounds heavy and fake in my voice, but Demi seems to buy it and shrugs.

"Maybe."

"It was probably different now that James is going to be leaving as well."

"Right."

I can tell that Demi knows I'm trying to convince myself of that more than I'm trying to convince her, so I quickly stop talking and resume eating in the tense silence that follows.

I glance at the letter again and can not believe that all of this has taken place one day after I have left home! Of course I would miss out on all the big drama.

"Maybe this move will be good for Elizabeth," Demi says. "Who knows? Maybe she'll finally get a boyfriend. Merlin knows someone needs to loosen her up."

I laugh, but I wonder if perhaps someone loosened her up too much.

A/N I know it's short, but I am leading up the next two chapters. Next chapter is going to be a month later around the first Hogsmede trip. And then the next two or three chapters will be over the Christmas break where there is a very BIG surprise about something.

Sorry about the wait. Writer's block is a bitch.


	14. Chapter 14

_One month later…(ish)_

We have our first Hogsmede trip this morning. It is going to be a really nice break from the bleak atmosphere of studying until you pass out, which is very uncomfortable. My poor neck has been bent into a permanent bending position from falling asleep on a table over my arms. Also, I haven't seen Cole outside of class in a while. We constantly miss each other at breakfast and when we do meet up in class we're too busy to do anything else.

Currently I am sitting at breakfast next to Demi. We're waiting for the mail because, as she says, we're "expecting" something. I have no idea what, she won't tell either me or Frank.

"Where is the bloody mail?" she seethes furiously. "It's twenty bleeding minutes late today! Of all days it's today!"

"What are you expecting?" I ask curiously.

"Don't worry about it," she says evasively. "It isn't that important."

"So we can leave to go get ready for Hogsmede?" See, I plan on slamming Cole against a wall or a building and shagging his brains out as soon as we get into Hogsmede if we have to. I can't wait. I especially planned this entire day to be about shagging Cole. Great, now I'm anxious.

"Oh! Here we go!" Demi cries enthusiastically.

I glance up and then down at my orange juice only to snap my head up a second later. A familiar looking owl floats down to my table and sticks his leg out right at me.

"What are you doing here?" I ask the owl. My brother's owl hoots softly and shakes his leg for emphasis. "Oh, right!" I take the letter. "Have something to eat," I say, offering the remnants of my plate. He pecks at some bacon.

"Who's that from?" Frank asks.

"My brother," I reply. I rip it open and gaze down the letter, my eyes widening slightly. "He moved out of the house," I say. "And he wants me to come visit today because it's the Hogsmede trip. He wants me to meet him outside Honeydukes at one."

I gaze across the room at Cole's back in disappointment. How can I say no to James, that I want to shag my boyfriend instead of hang out with my brother? Actually, I can easily see myself doing it, but I won't.

I pat down my shirt and pockets for a quill but come up empty.

"Hey, Demi, do you have a—What's the matter?" I look in surprise at her sad, sullen face. She has her arms folded and is staring evilly at my letter.

"What? Nothing," she replies, snapping back to a subdued Demi. "Just tired."

"Did you get what you were waiting for?" I ask.

"No," she says, putting on a strained smile. "Not today. Maybe tomorrow."

"Oh, alright," I say, shrugging. "Do you have a quill?"

"Yeah. Here." She throws it onto the table and gets up. "I'm going to get ready for Hogsmede. Frank."

He looks up at her and then gets up, realizing she meant for him to follow. I, in turn, scribble a hasty reply to James and then catch Cole leaving the Great Hall.

"Here you go, boy," I say to the owl and hop up and run down the tables until I get outside the door. I see Cole's body whip around the corner and pick up speed.

It goes on like this for a minute before he stops to tie his shoelace and that is when I pounced. I got right behind him and leaped onto him.

"Hello, Cole," I say as huskily and sexily as I can manage.

He turns to me in surprise. "Oh, Roe! It's you!"

"Who did you think I was?" I ask indignantly.

"I honestly don't know," he says with a laugh. "What's up?"

"I can't wait to get to Hogsmede," I say tugging him closer. I waggle my eyebrows suggestively and he frowns at me.

"Why?" he asks.

"Because—"

"Oh, I forgot to tell you. We have to meet later," he says. "I totally forgot that I had a lunch planned with Petra and Holden and the rest of the group. I can't cancel on them. I already blow them off a lot as it is."

I frown, wondering if he is implying I cause him to ditch his friends, but shrug. "Oh. Alright. I have to meet my brother at his new apartment anyway."

"That works out perfectly!" he says, kissing me. "We'll meet at, say, five?"

"But we have to be back at school by seven," I say weakly.

"That's plenty of time to check out the shops," Cole says.

"No, Cole, see I thought we'd f—"

"Hey, Cole!" We both turn to see Sebastian hurrying down the hall. He gets to us and smiles at us in turn. "Hi, Roe."

"Hi," I reply grumpily.

"Are you ready to go, Cole? I want this thing over as soon as possible." He turns to me. "We have to finish a project and then we're heading out the lunch."

I simply nod. "Have fun."

Cole gives me a confused look and departs with a half wave. I think he can sense I am absolutely furious and horny. Or, I'm hoping he feels the same as I do.

OoOoOo

Demi and Frank have left already by the time I make my way out of the castle and head down the long path towards the town. Crowds of people pass me as I go. Being alone makes me very self-conscience. I am wondering if people passing me think I have no mates to come into town with, that is why I am walking aimlessly alone.

In actuality I am a bit early for my meeting with James and he is not yet here. It is typical that the one time in my entire life that I am early it is to meet up with James who comes "fashionably" late to everything. Mum even jokes that he was supposed to be born first, but he didn't get there fast enough and Elizabeth beat him to it. I can see that happening only with Elizabeth forcibly shoving him further into the womb to make her way out first.

After twenty agonizing minutes in which I am tempted by the constant clamoring of the overhead bell and the sweet, sugary scents of the insides of Honeydukes, James shows up. He has a scarf wrapped all the way up his head, just under his nose and a pair of giant sunglasses on. I wouldn't even know it was him except for the fact that Mum made him that scarf.

As soon as he gets close enough to me I snap, "Late much?"

"Sorry," he says.

"And what are you wearing? It's fifty degrees out, hardly scarf worthy weather."

James grabs my arm and pulls me up the path for a bit until we reach the edge of the town. As soon as we do he unravels the scarf and gives me a broad smile.

"You look nice," he says, eyeing me critically. "Being fed well, I see."

Self-consciously I place a hand on my hips and glance down at my body.

"What is that supposed to mean?" I ask haughtily.

"Nothing," he says, shrugging. "You just look like you're being fed well."

"Are you saying I got fat?"

"A little," he replies seriously. "But, hey, if Cole likes that sort of thing…"

"I sincerely hope you're kidding," I snarl.

James gives a short laugh. "Of course I am! Growing up with two sisters taught me at least that!"

"Where are we walking?" I ask, glancing around at the scenery. We are walking along a dirt road surrounded by fields of flowers. I am tempted to pick some just to walk around with. Sometimes the feminine part of my brain that usually lays dormant will spring to life, hungry for some female activities.

"My house," James says. "It's a little further down the road. I have to be honest, it wasn't my first choice, but I couldn't pass it up."

I am about to ask why when I suddenly spot an odd little house sitting amongst the field. It is small, not shoebox small, but small enough for James. It has a sort of sunken roof and looks like a quirky fun place to live.

"Is that yours?" I ask, stunned. I would assume he would move into the city next to a brothel with a runny tab and a built in hooker.

"Yep," he replies. We get to the front of the house, which is surrounded by a little white picket fence. I push it open and gaze around in complete surprise. "See why I couldn't resist?"

"You live on Toad's Breath Road?" I ask. "Are you serious?"

He nods enthusiastically. "Come in! Come in!"

James pushes the giant front door open and we step inside. My eyes take a second to adjust and when they do I find my mouth dropping open in surprise. Unlike what I assumed it would be (shag carpets, mirrors on every ceiling) it looks quite homey.

"I had Mum come in her last week and really spruce the place up. She and Dad pitched in money to get me most of what I might need…"

"It's really nice!" I say enthusiastically, glancing around. I sit down on the couch and sink completely into it. I shift once or twice before hoisting myself out of the in-between and fully onto one cushion.

Our afternoon goes by smoothly and surprisingly enjoyably. I didn't know what I thought James was going to be like but he seems pretty relaxed and actually a bit fun. We chat about all types of things.

As the early afternoon turns into two o'clock, I find myself glancing around at his living room curiously. There is something a bit off about it and I can't really put my finger on it. It isn't until James gets up to get me another butterbeer that my eyes land on something on a chair in the other corner.

A pink, frilly looking pillow with flowers on it is sitting directly in the middle of the chair. I gaze at it, almost confusedly. With the pillow on the chair like that…it seems so…so…feminine.

Actually…now that I think about it…this entire room seems as though a woman has definitely been in here or is in here…It's probably just Mum trying to make it look more homey.

It will be a snowy day in hell when James asks a girl to move in with him—

"Alright, I'm all out of butterbeer how about some fire—"

Suddenly the door gives a rattle and the handle turns. A moment later a head pokes in and smiles at us.

"Oh, hey, Roe! I didn't know you were coming today." She places the bag she's holding on the table.

"Er…hi, Alice," I say awkwardly and fix her with a forced grin. "How are you?"

"Fine," she says. She walks over to James and kisses the top of his head and goes into the kitchen, and begins to unpack to bag. "I know I'm home early, James, but I couldn't stand walking around aimlessly all day. I thought I'd make us lunch. Roe, you're more then welcome to stay."

I look at James with a dazed look. He in turn fixes me with a look that tells me I better not, under any circumstances on Earth, accept her proposal.

"Alice, that's so sweet, I'd love to!" I say, smiling brightly at James. "Here, let me help you."

James pinches my arm as I walk by, which I think is very immature of him. It's not my fault that his GIRLFRIEND came home early and I found out it was Alice Longbottom. Maybe if he wasn't so damn secretive then I wouldn't have to find out from Alice herself! Though…I think all three of us Potter siblings are secretive. I lie about Cole, James lies about Alice and Elizabeth lies about…well, she lies about everything, really.

"James I got some really nice candles for our bedroom—"

. "Are you two living here together?" I hiss furiously at him as he steps into the kitchen. He shoves me harshly.

"Oh, bugger, I let it slip, didn't I?" Alice says, looking apologetically at James. After a second she shrugs. "Hey, what's one person who knows? I think when you've got a huge secret then you should share it with at least one person. Don't you, Roe?"

"Oh, yes," I say, grabbing a plate and placing lunchmeat on it.

"You told James that you're shagging that Malfoy boy—"

The plate in my hand drops onto the counter, my fingers suddenly gone slack. Hearing it out loud like that, so out of the blue, actually startled me. No, startled isn't the right word…it frightened me. It was the reality that people are starting to find out about Cole and I that frightened me.

Luckily Alice is prattling along with whatever it is that she's saying and the only person who sees my suddenly collapse in fear is James, who takes the plate away from me before I can smash it over his head.

We eat with Alice leading all of the conversations. James and I are silently warring with each other, which I believe Alice must have sensed. She never actually invited us into a conversation, merely had it all by herself.

"Anyways, it was blue, not black. I had to take it back."

That's where I came in on her. I don't know what she's talking about, but I figure it's got to be something to do with a blue object not being black. Which is very discrimitory. Blue is just as nice as black in almost everything. Shoes, hats, mittens, purses, shirts—

"Well, Roe, are you sticking around for dessert?" Alice asks.

"No," James answers for me. "I'm going to walk her back to Hogsmede before anyone notices she's been missing." He gives Alice a look and then gets up from the table. With a wave of her wand, Alice makes everything disappear from the table.

"Bye, Roe," she says, giving me a big hug. "Say hello to that brother of mine who never writes."

"I will," I say, giving her a small smile. "It was nice to see you Alice."

She nods and then glances around at the room. "We should do this again soon."

"I agree—"

"Roe."

I turn to see James waiting by the door with my coat.

"Coming," I snap. "Bye, Alice."

I walk to the door and snatch my dress from James and tug it on. We exit the house and are greeted by the harsh October winds. I wince and shove my hands into the pockets to warm them up. Glancing up at the sky I can see the faintest hint of dusk approaching in the unusually sunny sky.

"You don't have to walk me," I snap. "Go back inside. I can find my way fine."

"No, it's fine," James says and follows me down the path.

We walk in silence until we get to the border of Hogsmede.

"Alright, thanks, James—"

"Don't tell anyone."

"Huh?"

"Don't tell anyone about Alice and me."

"Oh…alright, then. No problem."

"We don't want everyone to know about it and make a big deal about it," James mumbles. I notice the way he keeps shifting away as though anxious.

"I understand exactly how you feel, James," I reply. "That's why I would greatly appreciate you not telling anyone else about Cole and me. It would be a shame if Mum and Dad found out about you and Alice."

"Right, fine."

"Bye."

We turn from each other and I start off down the path when I feel an arm grab me. My hand, still in my pocket, clenches around my wand as I wheel around. Warm relief spreads through me as I see James standing in front of me.

"I've made a huge mistake," he says to me, sounding very nearly desperate.

"What are you talking about?" I ask.

"Moving in with Alice was a huge mistake."

"James—" I say breathlessly.

"I…She's always there," he says to me. "I didn't know she was always going to be there. Every time I turn around she's doing this weird ritual thing where she walks around the flat twice or standing behind me or sitting in a chair! There's no escaping her."

"Of course not! You live with her!"

"I didn't know…"

"Why did you ask her to move in with you?"

"I don't know." He looks at me desperately. "It seemed like the right thing to do…but now I'm not so sure."

"Why? James, what's really the matter?"

"She's going to want to get married."

"That's nothing to worry about! Every girl wants to get married."

James shakes his head. "I cheated on her. Well, I don't think it can be considered cheating…we weren't really that exclusive, but…I shagged Lila."

"Oh, yes, thank you for that, by the way," I say, stepping back from this conversation for a second. "She won't leave me the fuck alone now."

"Alice knows."

"Then what's the problem?"

"That's my problem! I really like Alice and I keep putting off a relationship with her just to shag other girls!" He fixes me with a sad look. "She forgave me."

"That's great—"

"No, don't you understand? She didn't care! She said as long as it was over and I was ready for it to just be the two of us."

"And it is now, right?" I ask warningly.

"Yes, of course, but…I think I love her."

"Aw, James, that's—"

"No!" James says, stepping back from me. "I don't fall in love with anyone! Girls are just things you have sex with."

"That isn't a healthy outlook—"

"Will you stop speaking for one second?"

"No. Listen to me, James, before you do something stupid. You love Alice and for whatever reason she seems to really like, if not love, you." James blanches and I hurry up. "What's the problem, then?"

"I don't want to get married and I sure as hell don't want kids. Ever. I have vague memories of you as a baby."

"Great, thanks." I roll my eyes. "Stop jumping ahead ten years. Stay right here and think about Alice right now. She's in your kitchen washing dishes and reversing some fucked up spells you placed on the house. Isn't that sweet of her?" I wait patiently.

"Yes, I suppose." He shrugs.

"Just take this one day at a time, James." I touch his shoulder. "She's been very patient with you. Any other girl would have fucking killed you years ago. Be lucky that Alice is warm and kind and forgiving and she obviously really loves you." I cock my head to the side and study his face. "Don't pull away from her because maybe in five or ten years she'll want babies and marriage. Who knows? Maybe you will, too. Take this one day at a time."

"But…"

"James, do you want to look back one day and wish you hadn't of pushed Alice away? Do you want her to marry someone else and have someone else's babies? Do you want her to fall in love with someone else because you refused to?"

"No," he replies sourly.

"Good answer. Just be patient with each other. Talk to her and work everything out. Don't break up with her or anything."

"I wasn't going to," he snaps. "I just want to know that I'm doing the right thing."

"I can't help you with that. Unfortunately it's one of the things a person has to figure out for themselves without any outside help. In your case it usually means you're screwed…" I crack a smile at him. "Cheer up. This is a good thing, James. I'm just glad I talked you out of making the biggest mistake of your life. You'll thank me some day."

He rolls his eyes but a second later I am enveloped in such a tight hug that I feel the pressure crack a few ribs.

"James…you're touching me…"

"Oh…er, right. Sorry." He instantly puts me down on the ground as I wince and rub my ribs. I'm sure at least four of them must have splintered into my lungs, easily killing me. For all I know I'm dying right now as I stand and stare at my brother in bemusement.

"Alright, well, I should be going—"

"Wait!"

I turn back to him. "What?"

"No matter what happens we're family, remember?" he says, looking at me imploringly. His comment causes me to blink in surprise.

"Of course we are! Why? Is this a 'get a shovel and dig' sort of conversation?" I ask.

"No," he says and glares at me. It instantly melts as soon as we lock eyes. He looks at me in such a way I get the vague feeling them I'm being stared down. "Just…remember that. We're family. All of us."

"Who's all of us?"

"Me, Dad, Elizabeth, Mum, you…We're the only Potter family you have…"

"I know that James. What the hell is the matter with you? Are you dying?"

"No! Why do you have to always make jokes about everything?" he snaps suddenly. "Not everything is funny, Roe!"

"I know that!" I bellow angrily. "I'm making jokes because you're scaring me! I don't know what's the matter! I feel like I'm about to be ambushed and you're asking my forgiveness…You aren't…right?"

"What? Ambushing you? No. I'm not," he says. "I don't mean to scare you I'm just trying to remind you of something."

"Well, thanks, James. I'll keep that in mind. I'm going to go."

I stand there and stare at James for a moment. He looks at me imploringly still, as though I should be saying something to him in return. His behavior is a bit unsettling and I decide to leave it (whatever 'it' is) to itself.

"I'll see you at Christmas," I say edging back towards the path that leads into Hogsmede. "You will be at Christmas, won't you?"

"Yes, I'll be there," James says, looking a bit worried.

"James, before I go, is there something the matter? Is everyone alright? Mum—"

"No, everyone's fine. It isn't something like that. I'm just being weird. Sorry." He turns abruptly and hurries away from me before I can say anything else. I watch him go, my head spinning in bemusement.

Heading back into town I take a moment, albeit a small moment, to reflect on James's sudden turn of crazy. It isn't like him to hug me or burst into family-matters spiels and take it upon himself to remind me who my family is. I know very well that we're all a family. I've seen the baby pictures.

Us three siblings, however, probably wouldn't even talk to each other if we didn't share a home and parents and such. If I had met James in the halls of Hogwarts I would have hated him within seconds, same with Elizabeth. Though, thinking about it, I did kind of really hate them for a while when I saw them in the Hogwarts halls anyways, so I guess maybe that isn't right…Hmm…

I mean, it was like over night Elizabeth just really _hated_ me. As I said before we were buddies up until she left for Hogwarts and then we kind of grew apart, but it wasn't until I got into Fourth Year that she just really couldn't stand me. I was a bit surprised when it happened over night. We were talking and chatting aimlessly about stuff that night and when I woke up she refused to look or talk to me.

And, though I might not like to admit it, among countless others, it really hurt me that she refused to talk to me. I didn't say anything to anyone about it, not even Demi. I hoped maybe it would go away and she would become my friend again, but she never did…not like she was. There has always been some animosity between us, something I can't see nor correct that causes Elizabeth to act the way she does.

By the time I am done thinking all of this over I see Cole standing outside the Three Broomsticks waiting for me. He raises his hand to wave at me and I smile instantly, happy to be back and away from my weird brother.

"How was lunch?"

"Erm…it was alright," I say evasively. "How was your lunch?"

"Same," he replies. "Do you want to get something to eat?"

"I just ate!"

"I'm paying!"

"Don't have to tell me twice," I say, tugging the door open and walking into the warmth of the pub. Kids roam around and take seats and take a breather from the anxiety Hogwarts inadvertently can cause.

"Demi and Frank were in here earlier looking for you," Cole says. "I said we'd be back in here after you had lunch."

I nod and glance around the room anxiously.

"So, are you hungry? I'm starved! I could barely eat anything with Petra and Holden screaming at each other across the table…I think I'm going to get—"  
"Do you want to shag?"

"What?" he asks, glancing up quickly, causing his neck to snap. He rubs it and looks at me with wide eyes. "Here?" His voice cracks.

"No! Let's go around back or something! Can we just shag? I can just sit here. I'm antsy."

"Uh…yeah, alright," he says and hops up, grabbing my hand as he does so.

We rush up the road and around the corner and walk for about a half mile when a small inn comes into view.

"We don't have to pay for an inn!" I say incredulously. "There's a perfectly good bed back in my dorm! Or hey, that alley right there looks nice!" I am so anxious I can barely stand the wait.

"Where we could be barged in on at any moment. I won't be able to concentrate if I think it's suddenly going to become a public showing."

"We've shagged loads of places that people have seen us," I argue.

Cole rounds on me. "You are the only girl I know who would argue with a boy when he wants to get you a nice room to shag in. Only you, Roe Potter."

I roll my eyes and sigh at his disgruntled face. "I'm sorry! I'm just…antsy."

"So I've heard," he says and opens the door for me. A woman sits behind the counter, a lit cigarette in her hand. As soon as she sees us she sits up excitedly and stubs it out.

"Hello! Welcome to Hollows Inn!" she says jovially, her eyes roaming first from me then to Cole. Her smile falters slightly. "Erm…may I see some identification, please?"

I instantly reach into my back pocket and bring mine out and hand it to Cole who shows it to the both of us. The smile instantly returns to the woman.

"Wonderful! Two rooms…or the one?"

"One," Cole answers and hands her some coins. "We won't be staying the night, though." The inn keeper's lips purse in disparagement, but she gives us a key and a smile as we walk up the stairs.

The inns aren't really supposed to let students stay the night or rent a room during the Hogsmede trips, but if you're overage they usually don't put up much of a fuss when you come in.

"Here we are," Cole says. "Eleven."

He turns the key and opens the door to a decent room. I instantly dash in and rip off my coat, eager for a distraction. My mind keeps wondering and worrying over James's words. Perhaps I'm reading way too into this, but I can't shake the uneasy feeling it's been giving me.

"Take your coat off," I instruct to Cole the moment the door is closed and locked. "Hurry up! We have to be back to school in a little over an hour!"

"We've done more stuff in half the time. Just calm down!"

"Will you just hurry your stupid arse up and shag me already? I'm getting bored!"

"Keep talking dirty, I like it," Cole snaps.

I immediately sense a fight coming and try to backtrack on what I was saying. I don't think we could fight, shag and get my mind off of James at the same time. Unless we bickered as we shagged, which we sometimes do.

It's been over a month since Cole and I have shagged. It's been a weird sort of month, to be honest. For the past four months I have been used to getting a shag whenever I so wanted and all of a sudden it was gone. I no longer had the ability to owl Cole and have him meet me somewhere then either depart or spend the rest of the day together.

Our homework load has been rude, the teacher's even ruder by assigning all this work. I have not gotten a proper night's sleep in the entire time I've been here. The fact that I'm horny as hell probably isn't helping anything either.

Finally, after what seems to take him at least a century to kick his shoes and his pants off, Cole comes onto the bed next to me. I attack his face with my mouth the second he turns to me. He didn't expect it, for he fell back against the pillows with a grunt.

"Anxious, are we?"

"Ansty," I say in between kisses. "Very, very antsy."

"Well, then, let's try to alleviate some of that, shall we?" he says, rolling me onto my back and kisses me. I sigh happily and close my eyes.

Ten minutes later I'm completely undressed and under the covers. And fifteen minutes after that we're done.

I'm still breathing deeply as Cole rolls off of me and then onto his back. It was so good I feel as though I need a cigarette to legitimize how amazing that was. Well, after one month of barely kissing, anything felt nice.

"That was nice," I say to Cole.

He turns to me with a smile. "I sure thought so." He takes my hand and kisses it. "We have time to do it one more time."

OoOoOo

An hour later finds me hurrying through town with Cole right behind me as we pray and hope they haven't locked us out of the castle. Our one more time turned into three more times and then we feel asleep. Alright, I fell asleep and Cole didn't have the strength or patience to wake me.

When we arrive at the doors it's to see Filch closing them over.

"Wait!" I cry, picking up more speed and fighting the dying feeling in my chest. "Don't shut the doors!"

Filch turns to me with a disgusted look and pushes the door open another fraction of an inch. Cole and I squeeze through it, ignoring Filch who is muttering and swearing under his breath.

Cole takes my hand and walks me all the way to Gryffindor tower even though it is miles out of his way. He even shows enough patience to let me kiss him all over his face before giving me a smile.

"I'm going to bed," he informs me.

"But it's only half past eight!" I say.

"You wiped me out," he says, raising his eyebrows.

"Lazy."

"Slag."

I raise my eyebrows threateningly at him and he quickly amends with, "I was kidding! You know I was kidding!"

"Hmm," I reply coldly and go to turn away when he catches my arm. He spins me around and kisses me in that unbelievably gentle way he has. "Ah," I sigh when he pulls his lips away from mine. It has times like this that have me believing that if it weren't for classes and eating I would definitely spend all day shagging Cole. If not shagging then kisses and touching and cuddling.

Some people have one kind of relationship with their friends and another with their boyfriends. I guess I'm lucky that I see Cole as my best friend just as much as Demi is. I got really lucky with Cole, actually. He's like the male Demi that I've always been searching for. It's wicked, like I'm shagging Demi, if Demi had a penis and talked and acted just like Cole.

"Goodnight," I say to him, kissing him one more time. "I love you."

"Love you, too," he replies and kisses my forehead before walking away down the hall. I watch him go with what I assume was those big, watery puppy dog eyes that always seem a bit magnetized.

I turn to the Fat Lady to see her staring at me with the same wonderment and awe that I was feeling. I feel it instantly ebb away.

"You've got it good," she informs me.

"Spattergoat," I say, ignoring her and quickly hop through the opening and into the Common Room. It is almost deserted except for the wonderful Demi Lupin who is sitting by the fire with a notebook in her lap. Her hand is clenched angrily around a quill and she's scribbling just as furiously.

"Hello, my dear fri—"

"Shh! I'm trying to concentrate!" she snaps angrily.

I stop in my tracks and gaze down at her in wonderment. In all my years she has never snapped at me like this unless thoroughly provoked…with a stick.

"What's the—"

"Listen, Roe," she says sternly, looking up at me angrily. "I said I was busy. Just leave me alone for right now, okay?" She glances back down at the paper and raises her quill to her chin in thought.

I stare at her for a second longer before I pluck the quill out of her hand.

"You need a little break, I think," I say and throw the quill into the fire. I would have thrown the paper, too, but I don't know how important it actually was. Perhaps it was some of her Transfiguration homework? I know that essay is kicking _my_ ass.

"Wha…Hey! Why did you do that?" she demands. "I was busy writing something!"

"And it's obviously stressing you out very much, Demi!" I fire back. "That's why I took it from you. You need to take a break or a chill pill or something! You're freaking out!"

Demi sits back into the seat with an angry huff and turns away from me, muttering, "It's none of you bees' wax."

"I know it isn't," I reply good-naturedly. "But we're best mates because we no longer care that we over step our boundaries far too often."

She rolls her eyes. "Whatever, Roe." She turns to look at me and sighs heavily. "I guess I am a little stressed," she relents. "I've got so much to think about that it doesn't always fit in my head at the same time. I have to keep shifting thoughts around and…I'm about to snap."

"Tell me what's stressing you," I say.

"School, for one," she says, ticking them off on one hand. "Frank, my parents, the wedding…Everything is getting very complicated very quickly." I give her a sympathetic look and she looks at me near tears. "It's only been one month since we've been back at school and I can't wait for this year to be over already! I just want to graduate and get married all ready!"

I give her a look of surprise. I had no idea she was so anxious to become Mrs. Frank Longbottom. It certainly wasn't a name I would clamor in line to get.

"I know you do," I say in a comforting voice. "But just think," I say, "as soon as this year is over you get to be married!"

"Exactly!" she cries. "I have to wait nine whole months to get married!"

"Well, more like seven…perhaps six if you do it right after graduation." She gives me a look and I relent. "Isn't it better to have this huge build up of anticipation?"

She contemplates for a moment and then says, "No. It's absolute horse shit to sit around and wait for the wedding." She turns to me suddenly and sharply. "Oh, and did I mention I have to plan a wedding? Me! I have to do all the planning because, let's face it, Frank is absolutely no help with this kind of stuff."

"Well," I say, "he'll probably be way more excited once he realizes it's only six months away."

Demi turns to me again with a guilty look on her face. "Here's another thing I'm stressing about," she says softly. "Frank wants to wait a while to get married. He wants to live together first and get better acquainted with each other. He said he wants to wait at least three years. Three bloody years before we get married! Can you believe that? Three years?" She shakes her head. "I've sort of been planning for a summer wedding…this summer."

"Er, Demi…"

"I know, I know," she says sadly. "I'll eventually have to tell him."

"You don't really," I say, shrugging. "I'm sure he won't question why he's in a suit and you're in a giant white dress…"

"Ha. Ha. Ha," she says sarcastically and sinks further into the chair. "What am I going to do?"

"Just tell him, Demi!" I say comfortingly. "This is Frank. He won't mind in the slightest when you get married because he wants to be with you just as much as you want to be with him. Trust me, this will all work out fine."

"You're sure?"

"Yes. I'm a hundred percent positive everything will be fine."

"Oh, good…one crisis averted," she replies.

"Yes, that's—What? _One_ crises averted? How many crisis's are you having?"

"Like twelve," she replies.

"Holy Merlin!"

"Yes, thank you! That's why I'm all upset! The wedding is just a drop in the ocean compared to everything else." She looks at me sadly. "My parents still are very awkward with me and they hardly write and…and…" I watch in horror as she bursts into tears. "My dad doesn't even write anymore! I know he's busy but I think he hates me now!" she sobs. "I don't want to make him hate me but I want to marry Frank! I just feel so lo-lost!"

"Oh, dear," I say and get up from my chair and budge in with her. It is a very tight squeeze and her bony hips poke into my hip. I'm sure there is going to be a large dent when I get up, I am almost certain. "Firstly," I say, "your dad doesn't hate you. There is no way on the planet that you're father could hate his only child! Demi, your dad bloody loves you."

She sniffles. "But he hasn't written to me."

"You haven't written to him," I point out. "You two never correspond regularly."

"But sometimes he'd write me these funny little notes and he hasn't done that this year!" she protests. "I swear it's because of the wedding. He doesn't approve."

"He approves," I reply confidently.

"Maybe I just won't invite them," she replies grumpily and sniffly. "Then we'll see who hates who!"

I blanch. "Demi, don't. Trust me when I say your dad and mum will come around as soon as they see how happy Frank and you are going to be for the rest of your lives. Your parents only want you to be happy and they'll support anything you do that makes you happy!"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

It's weird that I can connect with someone else's family and easily see the solution to make things better, but when it comes to my family I'm completely lost. I have no idea how to talk to them or cope with them. It's sad irony.

OoOoOo

The next day Demi received a joke about an owl and three penguins from her dad.

A/N Read and review! Next few chapters will have major, major things happen! These chapters are what I had in mind when I wrote the story! I've been building something up for a while now. Some of you may guess it, but I don't think everyone is going to guess everything!!


	15. Chapter 15

Demi isn't very excited to go home for Christmas but I'm freaking excited as hell! My mouth waters at the mere thought of grandma's pies and her roast chicken with just the right amount of basil.

"You're drooling."

I turn to Demi, my brow furrowed.

"So?" I reply indignantly. "I'm allowed to drool."

"It's gross."

"Since when has Roe not been gross?" Frank asks. "It's your turn, Demi, move."

She moves her chess piece while I glare at the both of them in turn. I swear they wake up, talk to each other and decide what days to gang up on me over something as trivial as a little drool. It's bloody unfair if you ask me. I have had to put up with Demi (who is really a disgusting person if I think about it) for more than seventeen years and a little bit of drool causes her to show disgust towards me? What bloody nerve!

"Bloody piece," Demi snarls after Frank knocks out another of her pieces. "This game is stupid." She swipes her hand along the board and knocks most of the pieces over.

"Hey! Demi!" Frank cries furiously. "We were in the middle of a game! What are you, two years old or something?"

She shrugs again indifferently. "Oh well. I win."

"You do not win," Frank snarls.

"Yes I do," she says evenly. "I win because I said so." And with that she sticks her tongue out at him.

This is Demi and Frank being quite passive-aggressive (though with Demi there is never any passive with her aggressiveness) with each other and, by default, me. Last week Demi informed Frank that their wedding may be pushed up sooner than he wanted. When he realized she had set the date for June 30th, he nearly hit the roof and Demi.

They screamed at each other for well over an hour before someone came and fetched me and had them break it up. Apparently they were so loud that by the time I got back there McGonogall was standing in the middle of the hall looking positively livid.

"I walk by here and all I can hear is you two screaming at one another!" she fumed at them. "Now, both of you air your dirty laundry elsewhere and in a quieter manner! Immediately!" She rounded on me. "And you, Miss Potter," she said. I jumped. "Try and keep your friends from killing each other!"

She stomped off and left me to be the negotiator between a near tears Demi and a beyond furious Frank. They were both sitting on the bench in opposite directions. I sighed and walked over to the bench. Gracefully, I wedged myself in between the two of them.

"Tell him that I think he doesn't want to marry me and that's why he keeps pushing the date back," Demi said to me, her back turned away from Frank.

"That's not true!" Frank protested almost immediately. "Roe, tell her that's not true."

"That isn't true, Demi," I said to her. She merely sniffed.

"Well, Roe," Frank said with clenched teeth, "tell her I think it was a bloody awful thing to plan the wedding without even consulting me! I have a right to decide when we get married, too!"

"Frank says—"

"Well, tell Frank that I'm the bride and I want to get married in June!"

"Frank, she says—"

"Tell her that we can get married any June she likes, just not this coming one."

"Okay, Demi, Frank wants me to tell—"

"Tell him to shove it up his fat ass!"

"Frank, Demi wants you to—"

"Tell her to bite me!"

I winced. "Er, Demi, Frank wants you to—"

"You want me to bite you?" Demi cried, peering around me. "You want me to bite you?" Her voice began to rise slightly. "I'll bloody bite you!" She punched his arm. "You arse!" And then, suddenly, she burst into tears and sprang off the bench and sprinted from us.

"That went well," I said brightly.

"Shut up, Roe," Frank replied wearily.

That was one week ago and they have barely talked since! It's been awful for me because they continue to use me as some sort of bridge between them. Also, I think they are trying to use me to hurt each other. Like the other day Frank pulled me aside and talked to me about meaningless drivel; something about the weather. The next thing I know Demi wants to talk to me about something. She pulls me aside and wants to know what Frank said. This goes on for most of the day until I pretend not to see them beckoning me over.

Now they are sitting against the cushions with their arms crossed, not speaking to each other or me. Which, really, is great. I have other, better things to think about.

For example, James wrote a letter inquiring as to whether or not I was coming home for Christmas. He told me that I would be better off staying at school, because it was going to be fairly boring what with all the non-exciting stuff happening at home.

I told him that I wanted to go home because Demi and Frank were going home and I didn't want to stay behind without them. Also, Elizabeth received another promotion and they are honoring her at this award ceremony thingy December 27th. Apparently someone thought it would be a nice idea for me to write a speech and present it in front of what appears like is going to be a pretty good size audience. Besides that little speed bump, my entire break looks as though it's going to be a good one.

Well, there is another Ministry party on Christmas Eve, but I suppose I'll be able to escape within a few minutes to hang out with Cole. Maybe we can take a trip down memory lane in the coat closet.

I am brought back to attention when Frank stands up to go to the bathroom. As soon as he is gone Demi stands up and locks the door. She turns back to me and shrugs.

"He's being an arse and I don't want him in here," she says to me. "Do you have a problem with that?"

I raise my eyebrow at her. "Did I say I had a problem with that?" I ask in return.

"Good," she says and opens a magazine. We hold eye contact and then she drops it to read an article. I quickly roll my eyes and sit further into the cushion of my seat.

I hate when Demi and Frank fight because, not only am I quite literally jammed into the middle of it, but they fight with me as well. Just because Frank is pissed at her, Demi will picks fights with me to vent some bubbling frustration. Frank doesn't exactly do the same thing, but he will leave me alone with Demi for long periods of time.

I can't wait to get home. Christmas is hands down my favorite holiday and the mere thought of the Christmas tree with gifts underneath it makes me shiver in delight.

Unlike most families, which have the presents delivered to the beds of the children, Mum always said that she wanted us to sit around the tree as a family and open gifts together. I personally like this, as I can judge the reactions better if I see it as soon as they open it. Plus, I usually buy Elizabeth something stupid or silly, and I like to see her reaction immediately. Usually, if surprised, she can't hide her reactions quick enough and I know exactly what she is feeling.

Cole and I have decided that Christmas night we will get together and exchange gifts. Christmas Eve is the silly little ball, and though we may see each other there, we won't be able to exchange gifts with each other. I am very excited to see his reaction when I give him his gift. I think he will like it…I hope he likes it. I'm sure he'll like it…He has to…

"What's the matter?" Demi asks me suddenly.

"Huh?" I ask. "Nothing."

"You're mumbling to yourself like you've gone batty. What's the matter?"

"Cole will like what I got him, right?"

"Of course," she says dismissively. "He's your boyfriend. Though my significant other isn't getting a damned thing this Christmas," she snarls viciously.

"Demi…" I say wearily and then sigh. "Give him a break, will you?"

"Excuse me?" She turns to me and attempts to stare me down. "So you're going to take his side, then, are you?"

"No." I shake my head emphatically. "I'm not taking sides. It's just I think you forget that this is his wedding, too. Why should he be forced to get married this June if he doesn't feel you two are ready?" Her eyes flicker while holding contact with mine. They drop suddenly. "You don't really want to fight the entire first couple years of your marriage, do you?"

"I suppose not," she says, shrugging. "I just don't see what the big deal is with this June or next June."

"If there's no big deal then you should be able to set the wedding back to next June no problem."

She glares at me. "I meant I don't know why he has such a problem with this June."

"What do you have a problem with next June?"

"I just…" She breaks off and swallows. "What if he doesn't want to marry me next June either?"  
"I don't know what you—"

"What if he doesn't want to get married to me the June after that, or the one after that?" Her voice begins to rise hysterically. "What if he doesn't want to get married any June?"

"Then you can get married in July," I say, though I know the joke isn't going to go over well.

She glares at me. "What if it isn't the month or the time he has a problem with? What if it's me he has a problem with? What if he wakes up one morning, three years down the line and realizes he doesn't want to marry me at all?" She sniffles. "I figure at least if we're married and have a baby then he'll have to stay married to me, even if doesn't want to."

"Demi!" I say in surprise. "Are you pregnant?"

She rolls her eyes. "Don't be stupid, Roe. Of course I'm not pregnant, but I want to be. I don't just want to marry Frank just for the hell of it. I have this burning, unstoppable obsession with having a family with him. It's all I ever think about!" She turns to me. "Is that weird?"

"Kind of," I say. Wow, she really is mad.

"Well, I think about it all the time. I want his babies and I want to be with him when we're young and especially when we're old. I don't ever want to be away from him and I am petrified that he's going to come to his senses one day."

"And realize you're really as crazy as he thinks you are?" I ask.

She nods. "Yeah."

"He knows," I inform her. "I think by now he realizes you're the craziest person he will ever come into contact with, besides his Mum, of course. I don't think he minds, though. If he did I don't think he would have stuck around this long. Why did he propose to you if he didn't want to marry you?"

She shrugs. "People fall in and out of love all the time."

"Not Frank. He's stuck, whether he likes it or not, in love with you. I don't think he could not love you, Demi."

"Really?" she asks doubtfully.

"I'm a hundred percent positive that Frank will want to marry you next June, or even the next June after that. He isn't pushing it back because he doesn't want to marry you, he's pushing it back because he wants to _stay_ married to you. You have to admit that you two would tear each other apart if you hopped into a marriage and then into living together. You're both only seventeen, almost eighteen. You'll probably be married for another seventy or eighty years."

She sniffles again. "I don't know what's the matter with me lately. I've been so off about everything!"

It's true. I've never seen Demi doubt her self about anything and all of a sudden, as though a flip switched, she turned into this crying, sniffling person that I, of all people, have to give advice to and pick up off the ground!

Cole and I don't have these types of problems. In fact, I'm starting to doubt my relationship with him just a bit. The more I hear Demi talk about her adult relationship with her fiancé, I am starting to wonder if Cole and I are just two frivolous teenagers.

I mean, I love him. I know I do. It's just that so far we haven't been tested the way Frank and Demi are right now and I'm starting to wonder if maybe, like Demi fears, we'll fall out of love. What if it all gets to be too much. Or even worse, what if it never gets to be enough?

I begin to chew on a fingernail as I think about it. Cole has to be with me and he has to love me a whole lot, because when my parents find out what we've been doing and who I've been seeing there is going to be a real rough patch with us. I need to feel that he's going to be there no matter what. He says he will all the time, but I can never tell if we'll withstand the strain of what is eventually heading our way. There is only so much more time before it becomes quite obvious I'm seeing someone. What if I get pregnant? Or worse, what if he asks me to move in with him?

The door slides open and Frank comes back in. He plops down onto the seat and rubs his eyes wearily. His hand drops onto the seat cushion. Demi looks down at it and then, tentatively, picks it up to slip her hand into it.

Frank's eyes fly open and he looks at her. She only smiles in return before facing the other way and looks out the window at the urbanizing scenery. I can tell just by the scene outside that we're getting closer to the city. The fields are becoming smaller and the amount of farm life is diminishing.

I am drifting off into what I was hoping would be a very quick cat nap when the door slides open again and I am faced with the one person who has been consuming my thoughts lately.

"Hey, Roe."

"Hi Cole."

He comes into the compartment and shuts the door over. With a wave at Frank and Demi, who both acknowledge him with a distracted nod, he plops down next to me.

"How are you today?" he asks me.

"Fine," I reply and clear my throat. "We're still getting together Christmas night, right?"

"Of course," he says. "I've got a surprise for you, too. I think you'll like it."

I raise my eyebrows. "What is it?" I ask. I know he won't tell me, but I always feel compelled to ask anyways.

"I can't tell you," he says. "Then it isn't a surprise."

"I'll act surprised, though," I insist.

He frowns at me. "But I'll still know you know. This isn't like a surprise party I told you about that a bunch of other people will still think you're surprised."

"You're throwing me a surprise party?" I ask, latching on that example.

"What? No! I didn't say I was—"

"Then what is it if it isn't a surprise party." I frown and play with my bottom lip, pinching it together and then pulling it away from my face. "What is as fun as a surprise party…or not as fun," I add, giving Cole a critical look. "A puppy? Puppies are fun."

"I didn't buy you a puppy," Cole says.

"A kitten?"

"No."

"Is it a new broom?"

"You don't need a new broom."

"So? I can still want one. Isn't that the biggest surprise? Giving me something I already have. That's certainly surprising!"

"I didn't buy you a broom," he snaps, turning to Demi pleadingly.

She merely raises her eyebrows and shrugs in a condescending way. "I told you not to tell her about the surprise at all."

"Wait, you know what the surprise is?" I ask, flabbergasted.

"I helped him pick it out for you," she says.

"I think you're going to like it," Frank informs me.

I turn back to Cole. "Even Frank knows?" I jab a thumb in his direction while he says, in an affronted tone, "What the hell does that mean?"

"Can you give me a hint?" I ask Cole, trying to put on my seduction face that I still don't know if it looks as though I'm about to have a seizure or not. I did it for Demi once and she said that while she wasn't seduced she was certainly intrigued.

"No," he says firmly.

"Fine," I snap, folding my arms. "See if I tell you what I'm getting you for Christmas."

"You know, Roe, I had to think really hard about what to get you, seeing as you were obnoxiously vague about what it was I was supposed to get you. I think I found the perfect gift for you and I don't want to ruin it by telling you four days before Christmas!"

I sniff, touched. "Alright, then." I realize what an annoyance my lack of a list did to my family. The truth was that I didn't really want anything, though I do regret it slightly. I'm absolutely petrified to see what people came up with. Especially James or Elizabeth. For all I know I got a joint pack of socks from the two of them.

For Elizabeth I actually tried this Christmas. Usually I take the last item off her list and purchase it, as well as a gag gift like the edible underwear last year. No one but James and I thought it was the least bit funny.

However, Mum says that she was hinting at this new collection of books that just came out. When I went to look at them they were bloody expensive, and heavy as all hell, but I purchased the first three anyways. I don't know what she wanted with them though. They weren't even any spell books or anything. They were a collection of stories and fairy tails that Mum used to tell us when we were kids. Far be it for me to criticize her for being sentimental. At least it proves there's a human underneath her perfect porcelain façade.

"Are you looking forward to the Christmas Ball?" Demi asks us in the comfortable silence that settles upon the four of us. "I know how you two like having sex in the coatrooms there." She smirks at me. I am about to open my mouth and return it with a witty reply when an outburst to my left interrupts me.

"Roe!"

I turn in surprise to see Cole looking at me, aghast.

"What?" I ask.

"You…told her?" he asks, though I can tell he knows how it sounds, for his voice falters at the end. His cheeks suddenly turn a brilliant shade of red.

"What do you mean I told her?" I snap. "Of course I told her!"

"I am her best friend," Demi replies coldly.

He gives her a look that clearly tells her to shut up, which she silently digests, stewing angrily next to Frank.

"I just…never mind," he says and turns away from me.

I wince and turn to Demi and Frank for help.

Frank shrugs and gives me a sympathetic look. There is about five minutes of tense silence before Demi says, "Dude, strap on some balls! Seriously!" and the rest of the trip goes on in the same tense silence.

By the time we get to the station I do not know who is more happier to get out of the tension filled compartment, Frank or me. Demi and Cole continued to glare furiously at each other from across the compartment, neither saying a word. I didn't exude the effort or patience at the moment to perform an intervention. Frank, as well, didn't seem too keen to play referee.

"I'll see you tomorrow," I say to Demi and Frank as they gather their things. I give them a look that tells them to leave so I can have a moment alone with Cole.

"Right," Demi says. "I'll be over earlyish."

"No earlier than eleven," I say. Early to Demi can be anywhere from four in the afternoon to five in the morning. She never sets a definite time and it is always what she considers the appropriate time to show up.

"Okie dokie artichokie," she says, giving me a quick hug before turning to Cole. "I'll see you ladies later."

Frank tugs her arm and gets her out of the compartment as Cole turns to me, his eyes flashing.

"How she has managed to escape being bludgeoned to death by someone she has spoken to amazes me," he snarls angrily. This is the first time I've seen him really angry.

"She's pretty fast," I say, inching towards him. I am afraid he's going to lash out at me because Demi has internal censor that says, "Hey, hey! Way out of line. Check yourself."

He scoffs and gathers his stuff.

"Are you mad at me?" I ask cautiously.

"No," he says, but doesn't meet my eye.

"I'm sorry I told Demi about the coatroom," I say quietly, shutting the compartment door over. "I didn't think it was that big of a deal, that's all."

"Do you…er, do you tell her _everything_?" he asks in a small voice. He looks at me.

"Why?" I ask tentatively.

"It would be mortifying," he says.

"Guys do it all the time!" I argue.

"I don't!" he retorts.

"Aw, really? Thank you!" I say and rub his arm.

He rolls his eyes. "What…what do you say about me?"

"What does it matter?" I ask.

"Because Demi is the person who will bring it up at dinner somewhere," he snaps.

"She wouldn't," I say with a laugh. "She doesn't do stuff like that."

"Two months ago she started talking about her womanly problems at dinner."

"That's different," I say.

"How?"

"That's her own vagina," I explain. He gives me a look. "I tell her how amazing you are," I say to him, moving even closer. "I say you're mind boggling and toe-curling."

He looks down at me and I can see a quirk to his lips as though he is seconds away from smiling at me.

"Thank you," he says and kisses my forehead.

"Well, if I've done enough ego-stroking for the day, I'd like to say goodbye to my boyfriend before I see him again."

"Alright," he replies and kisses me. "I'll see you when? Christmas night?"

"Yes." I kiss him again.

"We should go," Cole says opening the compartment door. "Have a wonderful week without me."

"I'll try," I say, pouting slightly. He kisses me and it relieves some of my sadness at being away from him for a week. "You have a wonderful week as well."

"Ok, love. One last kiss. I can see my parents waiting by the barrier." He kisses me for about a minute before he grabs his bag and leaves. I wait a moment and then I exit the train in back of three Fourth Years.

I glance around the platform in time to see Cole turning his mother sharply by the shoulders and facing me. He waves his hand jerkily while he gives her a hug, as soon as he catches my eye. I hurry into the crowd.

"There you are, Roe!"

I turn sharply to see Dad standing by the wall on the right. His face lights up when he sees me and he pushes his way towards me. I in turn push my way through the crowd and throw myself at him. He catches me into a hug and kisses the top of my head.

"What took you so long?" he asks as he sets me down. "Frank and Demi came out ten minutes ago!"

I look down immediately. Keeping eye contact when telling a lie is crucial, I know, but I can not bear to look my father in the eye and lie to him.

"I think I ate something bad for breakfast," I say. "Or dinner, I don't know. I was in the bathroom."

He scrunches up his nose, though he doesn't look like he believes me much.

"And I've got an awful period this month," I say as a last ditch attempt. He immediately winces.

"Yes, well, best not to talk about it, I think," he says, steering me through the crowd. We pick up my trunk and wheel it out through the platform and into the crisp winter air. I take a deep breath. Winter is my favorite time of year.

I get into the car as Dad loads my trunk. I watch him walk around the car in my side mirror and turn when I hear his door open. He settles into the seat and smiles at me. I do the same. Dad always picks me up from school. Mum never joins us because she is always at home fussing away in the kitchen, positive that we starve without her hovering over us with a plate of steaming bacon to rely on. Though I will never say it to her face (nor will anyone else), I must admit that Mum has turned into Grandma, no matter how much she may have fought it.

"So…er, is Elizabeth going to be there?" I ask awkwardly.

Dad clears his throat as he starts the car and I can tell he doesn't much want to talk about it. "Erm, yes, I believe she is," he says. "Well, she was there when I left the house to come get you. Who knows if she's still going to be there," he adds in a mutter.

"Oh. And James?" I ask.

"Yes, him, too."

"Have you seen his new flat?" I ask, teetering on the edge of blurting out what could possibly be James's biggest secret.

"Yes, I have," Dad says as we come to a stop at a red light.

"Do you think it's…nice?"

"Roe," Dad says in a warning voice.

"What?" I ask defensively. I haven't even done anything!

"I know and I know you know," he informs me in the same warning voice. "And I mean it, if I hear one word even whispered about whom your brother is living with I will hex your lips shut until the end of Christmas break."

I sit back against the seat in a huff. "Merlin's pants, Dad! You don't have to be so mean about it! He isn't even around!"

"Just a warning," he says as the light turns green.

"And I believe it's _who_ he's living with, not _whom_."

I can feel his glare piercing through the side of my face and a delighted smile comes to my face.

We travel the rest of the distance in relative silence which is broken every once in a while when I start humming or Dad starts cursing at Muggle pedestrians.

"Watch where you're bloody going! Wanker!" Dad roars out the window as we turn onto the last main road before our dirt road comes into view.

"I always thought I got my dirty mouth from Mum, but now I can positively tell her it's you who has been the bad influence. She'll be very delighted."

"I'm sure she will," Dad says sarcastically. "I still don't know where all that uncontrollable, Turrets-like sarcasm came from, though." He peers at me over his glasses as we turn onto our road.

I shrug indifferently. "I don't know, but I'd surely like to thank them for it," I say. "It's such a wonderful gift. Imagine, I can say exactly what I think of people, but with a little sarcasm it comes off as a joke. I'm untouchable!"

"Yes, well, I'll remember that when I'm nursing the bruise you receive by someone who has finally had too much of your sarcasm," Dad says.  
"That isn't a very nice thing to say to me!" I say indignantly.

"But I was being sarcastic," Dad says in a surprise tone. "Couldn't you tell?"

I glower at him as we come to a stop outside the house. I am nearly blinded by all the snow that glints furiously in the bright afternoon sunlight. It must have snowed quite a bit because when I open my door, I brush off a layer of snow that is next to the car.

Dad helps me get my trunk and various other bags to the front door. He turns the knob to find it locked, rolls his eyes, and reaches into his pocket for his wand.

"And I mean it, Rosemary," he says, peering at me again from over his glasses. "One word."

"Yeah, yeah. Let me in, it's freezing."

"I'm dead serious," he insists.

"And I'm about to be dead from hypothermia if you don't open the door!" I snap. "Am I some sort of little child that can't be trusted with a secret? I understand that this is a big deal and I had no intention of saying anything, thank you very much! So you can stop treating me like a child because I am far from a child!"

Well, that little hormonal outburst certainly wasn't expected to rear its head for a few days now, but I'll take it now. If anything, the look of surprise on Dad's face does amuse me slightly, though I can still feel some anger lingering. Does he really need to tell me how to keep a secret? I'm keeping only the biggest secret of my life from him!

"I didn't imply you were a child, Roe," Dad says, looking down at me. "And I know you aren't a child anymore…" He gives me an odd look and is about to open his mouth when the front door is thrown open.

"Roe!" Mum cries and wraps me into a deep hug. "Give your mother a kiss!" She kisses my forehead and hugs me again. I am still looking at Dad, though he has turned away and is now tugging my truck into the house. "How was the train ride?"

"Fine," I say, smiling at her. "Uneventful." If you count Demi and Frank nearly killing her and my secret boyfriend being furious that I have told Demi every single dirty, sordid detail of our sex and relationship life as being uneventful.

"Wonderful!" She pulls me inside. "What were you two doing out there in that cold?" she asks, but doesn't wait for an answer, as she has already bustled off to do Merlin knows what.

I turn to look for Dad or my siblings, but find most of the noise coming from the kitchen. I heave a deep sigh and walk into the kitchen. I immediately see the back of Elizabeth's beautiful head and the front of James's.

"Ah, there she is now," James says.

I feel a stab of unease that they were talking about me earlier. I don't know what it is, but when my siblings are together without me it makes me very nervous. They don't like each other much, but I wouldn't put it past them to use each other to turn against me. It may seem a bit much, and I may seem a bit paranoid, but I always feel as though James and Elizabeth are in on something I'm not.

Elizabeth sees me and stands. She's wearing a very cute dress that I must have to borrow sometime…or steal it before I leave, whatever happens.

Awkwardly, Elizabeth and I embrace. We never really press against each other and today she seems even more than keen to keep me far away from her. That is completely fine with me, as I am sure touching her will surely rub some bitchy off on me.

"James, help Roe take her bags to her room," Mum calls across the kitchen. "Elizabeth, you, too."

Elizabeth turns to James and as though they talked to each other silently, he jumps to attention. "It's alright. I've got both of them." He gives Elizabeth a look and she gives him a small smile in return. I frown. For some reason my siblings seem to have grown closer to each other in my absence. As weird as it may seem, I feel a pang of jealousy.

The three of us walk to my room and James tosses my bags onto the floor and then kicks the trunk over the threshold.

"How was the train ride?" Elizabeth asks me as I plop onto my bed in delight. There is nothing like the feeling of my mattress. It makes me feel so comforted to know that I am home.

"Fine," I say with a shrug. I glance at her and notice that she's wearing a bit of make-up and a wonderfully brilliant smile. Her teeth glint in the dull light of my room and I feel another stab of jealousy. She is just too perfect, even if she is sneaking around with a boy. "Normal."

She gives me a small smile and sits down on the stool across from me. Elizabeth glances up at James and he gives her a look. She sucks in a deep breath and is about to say something when Mum bursts into my room.

"There you three are! Hurry and get downstairs! Uncle Ron and Aunt Hermione are here. We're going to decorate the tree in a little bit. And don't anyone disappear," she warns, looking directly at each of us in turn. "We're going to my parent's for dinner."

"We know, Mum," Elizabeth says, getting to her feet a bit shakily. "And I, personally, can not wait for it." She gives Mum a dazzling smile and I scowl into the carpet. As soon as I feel some sort of sisterly warmth towards her, she has to go and ruin it by being such a suck-up.

Mum smiles back at her tensely. I notice immediately that Mum never quite meets her eye and hurries out of the room. Elizabeth turns back to me with another wonderful smile on her face.

"So, how's the wedding plans coming with Frank and Demi?" she asks, linking an arm with me and pulling me to my feet. "A date set?"

"Erm, I'm not sure," I say awkwardly as we walk down the hall. "They can't decide."

"It's a pretty big decision," she informs me as though she herself confronts the same problem daily.

"I suppose," I say. To be quite honest, all this sugary niceness is starting to give me cavities. Once again the nice personality of Elizabeth has decided to show up and smother me. I suppose I am just hard to please and already have a strong dislike for Elizabeth. I hate her when she's mean and I hate her when she's nice. I guess, then, that I'm the bitch in this situation.

As we get into the living room I hear laughter coming from near the fireplace. When we turn the corner I can see Dad's feet sticking out from the fireplace. A great deal of cursing is emitting in an echoey growl.

"Ginny! What the hell did you stuff up here?" Dad bellows.

Mum hovers over him, twisting her hands as she does so. "Just a few presents!" she insists.

Dad emerges, covered in soot and tosses a rumpled present into Uncle Ron's hands before he goes back up there.  
"Harry, just magick them out," Aunt Hermione suggests.

"Oh," Mum moans, "I've charmed them not to come out that way!" She bites her lip as Dad tosses another present through the air. It hits the wall with a sooty thud and falls onto the carpet.

"Why are there presents up here, anyways?" Dad asks Mum in a practiced patience.

"Well, I have to hide them somewhere, don't I?" Mum retorts.

"But the fireplace?" Dad asks furiously.

"It was the only place I could think of! Besides, Roe's a snooper!"

I feel all eyes turn on me and look over at Mum with a glare. "I do not snoop!" I insist. "Last year I just happened to find them."

"In the loose floorboard in the attic?" Mum retorts. "There was a desk on top of them and they were shrunken!"

I roll my eyes. "Pish posh," I say with a sniff.

"Here, budge over, let me try," Uncle Ron says and pushes Dad out of the way. He disappears into the fireplace and is then seen on his tippy-toes.

"Shall I make some tea?" Aunt Hermione asks, glancing at Dad cautiously. "Tea, Harry?"

"No," he replies grumpily. "I'm going to shower." He walks past Mum and shoots her a furious look.

As soon as the upstairs bathroom door closes over, Aunt Hermione turns to Mum with raised eyebrows. "He's in a festive mood," she says sarcastically.

Mum sighs. "He'll get over it," she says with the wave of her hand. Dad is notorious for getting furious with Mum and forgiving her in the next breath. He can't stand to be mad at her for any amount of time.

"Maybe we should go then," Aunt Hermione says, already tugging on Uncle Ron's pant leg. "Let's go, dear."

"What the bloody hell did you stuff up here, Ginny?" Uncle Ron cries. He emerges, covered in soot. "There's one I can't even reach. How did you get them up there?"

"Canon," she says seriously.

"Excuse me?" Ron and Hermione ask at the same time.

"Oh, George gave it to me," Mum says dismissively. "He didn't give you one?" Ron scowls at her.

"Let's get going," Aunt Hermione says. "I still have to bake a pie to take to your Mum's."

"Right," Uncle Ron says. They both wave and Apparate with a sharp snap.

Mum turns around and sighs. "I should go get your father in a relatively good mood before we go see the family." I wrinkle my nose as she departs.

When I turn around I notice that Elizabeth has disappeared. I hear voice from the kitchen and inch closer, hoping I'm as quiet as I hope I am.

"…no! I said on my time, James! When I'm ready!" Elizabeth hisses furiously.

"She's going to find out sooner or later, Elizabeth!"

"Exactly!"

"Do you really think Christmas time is the best time?"

"I've finally worked up the courage, James. Just leave me alone!" Elizabeth snarls forcefully and glares at him. "And back up, you're breathing on my neck."

I step back from the doorway and frown. Are they talking about me? If so, tell me what? I can't think of anything Elizabeth would need to tell me, let alone work up the courage to do so.

I hear footsteps coming closer and quickly step away from the scene of the crime as Elizabeth and James come through the living room. James walks right past me, but Elizabeth smiles at me.

"Do you have a dress for the Ball tomorrow night?" she asks curiously.

"Yeah," I say, looking her right in the eye.

"I'll do your hair," she offers.

"Thanks." I am silently screaming _Tell me! Tell me!_

She hesitates and then smiles at me. It is a completely different smile then I am used to. It isn't the usual smile that usually graces her face. This one is sad.

"I'll be in my room. Call me when we start decorating."

"Okay," I say, watching her leave. She glides perfectly to the stairs and ascends them silently. The quite in the living room is disconcerting and I walk towards the couch to give myself something to do.

I glance down before I sit, and just in time, too. I nearly squashed a present.

"'To Roe,'" I read out loud. "Hello, early Christmas present."

"And don't you dare touch those presents, Roe!" I hear Mum bellow over the banister.

I scowl and drop it.

A/N We are getting very close. Next chapter _something_ happens that is pretty significant, but it is going to be Chapter Seventeen where everything comes out. Patience with me while I try to work out the perfect flow of it. I get so excited that I am tempted to just get it written half-assed just so I can post it for everyone. I am trying to teach myself to write patiently and precisely, that is why I am updating less regularly. I don't know if it's working or not, but hey! I still update at least once a month!


	16. Chapter 16

"Wake up, Roe."

In my dream I am being tapped in the shoulder by Brant Howard, star Quidditch player. He's being very rude about it, telling me that I didn't catch the snitch when I know full well I did. It was currently in my hand.

"Wake up, Roe." He shakes me harder and I feel my body resist a jump. It is so comfortable here. "C'mon, Roe! Wake up!"

"Why are you telling me to wake up?" I ask him.

"I made breakfast."

"That's polite of you," I reply to him.

"Roe!"

Suddenly sunlight is blinding me. I groan and roll over to escape the harsh glare coming from my drawn curtains.

"Roe!"

"Brant Howard?" I ask, wondering if he really is in my room offering me breakfast.

"Who?" Mum's voice asks. "Who's Brant Howard? You're not having some sort of sex dream, are you?"

"Honestly, Mum!" I cry angrily once I see that it is her and not the star Quidditch player standing over me. Shame, really. I could have sold his autograph for a nice pair of boots, or rubbed it in Elizabeth's face. "It's eight in the morning! Let me sleep!" I throw the comforter over my eyes, only to have it wrenched off a moment later.

"Absolutely not, Roe! It's Christmas Eve! Come down and have pancakes."

"No!"

"Eggs?"

"No," I say firmly, settling into my pillows. My eyes are already droopy with sleep.

"Bacon?"

"Well, alright." I throw the covers off and shiver. "Don't want to waste it." I stick my hand out and Mum seems to read my mind.

"Here you are, love," Mum says delightedly, and throws me my bathrobe. I put it on and slip my chilled feet into some slippers. "I have to go wake James, but I think Elizabeth is already downstairs."

"Okay," I say. As if that really makes any difference…well, that's not exactly true. I do want to get back to bed now, bacon be damned.

I can tell Dad is still asleep because the bedroom door is closed over and it is quiet, so I creep down the stairs into the even quieter house. I smell bacon as soon as I round the corner into the kitchen. Elizabeth is sitting on a stool reading the newspaper and sipping orange juice.

"Morning, Elizabeth," I say as I pad into the kitchen and grab a mug from the rack. I pour some steaming coffee into my cup and take a grateful gulp. The caffeine works wonders almost instantly and tired no longer causes my eyelids to droop.

"Oh!" Elizabeth says. I've obviously startled her. "Good morning, Roe!" She smiles at me and I am struck with the oddest sensation that she's nervous. "Merry Christmas Eve morning!"

"Er…right," I say. "Merry…" I trail off and take another, bigger gulp of coffee. It doesn't feel as good as it did the first time, and burns my tongue and throat.

Elizabeth looks at me and smiles timidly. She opens her mouth just as James stumbles into the kitchen looking like death.

"Good morning!" Elizabeth bursts out, chipper as ever.

"Bugger off," he replies furiously.

"Hello, Sunshine," I say, gesturing with my mug and smiling broadly as he reaches past me and snatches a mug off the counter. He grunts at me and grabs the coffee pot. Some coffee slashes onto his slippered foot but he takes no notice as he takes a sip of coffee and waits for the caffeine to kick in.

Elizabeth ruffles the newspaper and opens it again.

"Do you want some coffee?" I offer her politely.

"Erm…"

"Right, that's all we need: Elizabeth even perkier at eight in the morning. No, I think you better leave her alone with the coffee," James interjects.

He does have a point, I think to myself as both Mom and Dad burst through the door in an angry huff. They seem to have been bickering over something and instantly fall silent as Dad glances at the three of us.

"Later," he mutters to Mum through clenched teeth.

"Yes," she replies with a forced smile. "Who wants bacon?" she asks. "Not you." She slaps Dad's hand as he reaches for some and distributes the meat onto the three plates at the kitchen table. She returns the empty plate to the island counter. "This is for you," she says and hands Dad a grapefruit.

"Are you bloody kidding me?" Dad cries indignantly. "Who am I? Dudley?"

"Who?" James asks.

Mum ignores James and turns back to Dad. "Well, your tummy seems to think so," she says and as she walks by she pats it.

Still a bit stung at the words Dad and I exchanged yesterday, I jump off the stool I was sitting on, give him a great, big smile and sit down next to James and Elizabeth. I hear Dad scrape the stool close to the counter and open the drawer in search of a knife.

We all eat in silence until Dad and Mum leave to run some errands before the Ball tonight. This stupid, bloody thing! I wish I didn't have to go.

"I wonder if I have to—"

"Yes," James and Elizabeth say at the same time.

Well, no matter. Cole and I will meet by the back exit at nine and then maybe we can pop off or something. Who knows. I just hate the thought of putting on the ridiculous dress Mum bought for me. I won't go into much detail except: taffeta. Elizabeth tried to reduce most of it, or so she said, but it's still ugly as sin.

"Hey! Where are you off to?" Elizabeth asks as I stand up and bring my plate to the sink. I glance at my watch before I turn back to her. I have to meet at Cole's house in four hours for a nice Christmas Eve brunch with his parents.

"The sink," I say, narrowing my eyes at her. "Why? Should I be going somewhere?"

Elizabeth rolls her eyes. "Put this in the sink as well, will you?" she says and hands me her plate. "That's a good girl," she says mockingly.

I try not to go for her bait, as I think she may be looking for a fight. I'm telling you, only pure evil would pick a fight with someone at eight in the morning on Christmas Eve. Oh, and if it hasn't already been clear, she told me about Santa's little secret when I was eight.

"You might want to watch what you're eating," I retort furiously.

"Oh?" she asks, raising a delicate eyebrow. "And why is that?" I hate her sometimes. I don't know why she has suddenly changed her demeanor with me! One minute she's nice to me and the next it's like she hates me again.

"Well," I say slowly, "if you can't manage to wrench your fat arse out of the kitchen chair then maybe you better lay off the sweets!"

Out of the corner of my eye I see James's hand stall, the fork almost to his mouth, syrup dripping lazily onto the plate.

There is a full thirty seconds of silence that is broken when Mum comes back in, fully dressed.

"I forgot my…" She glances at the three of us. "What did I miss?" She turns to me. "What did you do?"

"What did I do?" I cry incredulously.

"She didn't do anything," Elizabeth said, standing. "Well, above her normal bitchy self," she adds in a snarl as she stalks from the room.

"Me? Bitchy?" I call at her back. "Ha!"

I turn back to see James glaring at me furiously and Mum giving me a wondrous look. She shakes her head.

"What is the matter with you, Rosemary?" I cringe at my full name. "The way you antagonize her!"

"I don't antagonize her!" I cry furiously. "She's the mean one!"

"You two are always at each other's throats." Mum opens a drawer and searches through it while talking to me.

"That's because she hates me!" I fume at her. "I would be a lot nicer if she didn't hate me so much."

"She doesn't hate you," Mum says. "I found my glasses. We'll talk later." She turns from the room and I see her head toward the stairs, no doubt on her way to talk to Elizabeth. She could punch me in the face and it would somehow be my fault. I probably _antagonized_ her.

I turn in a huff to see James giving me a look.

"What?" I bark at him, my defenses up.

"Why would you say that to her?" he asks me. "She wasn't doing anything."

"She was being a bitch!" I growl.

"Hardly," James replies. "You're the one who—"

"You know what, James? Bite me!" I cry furiously, the cover of my temper flying off and spinning through the air. "What is with you?"

"What's with me? What's with you?"

"You've never stuck up for her before! You used to pick and pick and pick on her until she was in tears and now you're giving _me_ the evil eye for her calling her fat?"

"That was like twelve years ago when we were kids!"

"That was like six months ago during the summer," I hurl back. "You are such a hypocrite!"

"And you are such a bitch!"

"Takes one to know one," I snap before I can stop myself. I hadn't realized how stupid it sounded until James smirks at me.

"Well, as much as I would love to stand here and fight with you, I must be going," he says. "I have some errands to run before the ball."

"Good. Get out!"

"Don't tell me what to do!" James snaps, glaring at me.

"Why are you even here? You don't live here anymore!" I snarl. "Go back to your stupid little house and your stupid little girlfriend."

"Go to hell, Roe," James snarls. "And shut your damn mouth about Alice."

"Make me," I say.

I am not sure at what point our little bickering match escalated into a full out battle, but I would have to say it was at this exact moment.

James, clearly taking my words literally, hurls a bagel at my head. I inch to the left and it sours right past me, knocking into the pots hanging from the overhead rack. One falls onto the counter with an almighty clang. Neither of us takes notice.

"Nice aim," I say to him. "You throw like Elizabeth."

"I'm leaving," James repeats to me.

"Toodles," I snarl.

"Oh, by the way," James says, reaching into his pajama pocket, "an owl swooped into your room yesterday. I picked it up for you."

He holds it for me to see and I reach for it, but he snatches his hand back.

"I wonder who this could be from?" he asks in a mocking voice. "Surely not Demi. Her family owl is black. No, this was a big brown owl."

"Give it to me, James," I snap at him.

"And Demi wouldn't seal your letters like this. We all know Demi really doesn't have a bone in her body that would be embarrassed about what she says."

"James, I'm serious! Give it to me!"

"Perhaps I should go show this to Mum or Dad and see what they say about it," he says, stepping closer to the hallway.

I swallow thickly. I am unsure whether or not he is kidding about going to Mum and Dad about the letter. If he isn't kidding then I am going to snatch it and give him a paper cut. If he is serious, and he is on his way to see Mum and Dad, then I am going to kill him.

"James, I'm not kidding. Give me the letter," I say as calmly as I can manage.

"No," James says, tucking it into his pocket, "maybe while I'm on my damn way out, I'll hand this to Mum. I'm sure she'll like to know what you're boyfriend is saying."

There are footsteps in the hallway to our left a second Dad and Mum enter.

"What on Earth was that banging…Do not throw stuff in the house!" Mum cries when she sees the fallen pans. "These were my mother's! For you to just—"

She is cut off when I lung at James for the letter. I am midway through the air when Dad catches me perfectly and easily as though I were a Quaffle. He holds me half over his shoulder as James stumbles back against the wall, startled.

"Roe!" They all say together.

"Give me the letter," I hiss at James, looking over my shoulder and struggling in Dad's arms. "And put me down, Dad!"

"Absolutely not!" he says. He whirls around so I am now facing James again. "Are they fighting?" he asks Mum.

"I suppose," Mum says, clearly shaken. She cannot be blamed. I have never acted this way before. She comes and gets right up close to me and whispers in my ear. "Roe, do you want to talk? Is this a woman type of problem?"

"No," I snap, wriggling free of Dad's grasp. I land on my feet and shake my hair back from my eyes. "I'm going out."

As I walk by I feel someone tap my shoulder. I turn sharply and James hands me the letter. I accept it numbly and hurry through the rest of the house. As I pass by Elizabeth's room I feel a slight pang of regret that I instantly quell as soon as I shut my door over and rip the seal off the letter.

_Hey Roe! _

_I just wanted to say, firstly, I love you. But I suppose you already know that. Anyways, we have to push our brunch up an hour early. I hope that's alright. If so, I'll see you at eleven instead of ten. Oh, by the way, my Mum is going to be out all morning tomorrow…you know, in case you wanted to come over earlier. That would be fine with me. :) See you tomorrow!_

_Xxxooo_

_Cole._

I run my fingers over the dried ink of his handwriting, a giant smile spread over my face. I place the letter down on my bed and dress quickly. I actually put a little effort into it this time. I magically removed the hair from my legs and then, as an afterthought, I rubbed some lotion on them. Not a good idea. It burned like crazy.

"Shit! Shit! Shit!" I said through clenched teeth. I tugged on a pair of jeans and a sweater. When my hair is brushed back and a touch of makeup is applied to my face I take a moment examine myself. I smile. I don't look half bad. Glancing around the room one last time I Disapparate with a crack.

When I open my eyes again I am in Malfoy Manor. I smile at the familiarity of it and head up the stairs, towards Cole's room.

"Cole?" I call, pushing the door opens.

There's a yelp from the other side and Cole, who had been standing in his room starkers, grabs a towel off his chair and wheels around.

"Mum, I told you to—Oh." he stops. His face breaks into a wide grin. "Hey.

"What were you doing?" I ask, arching an eyebrow.

His face colors slightly and I am even more intrigued.

"Nothing," he says unconvincingly.

"You were just standing in you room naked….doing nothing?" I ask, coming to sit on his bed. "That isn't weird or anything."

Cole doesn't respond and walks into his closet. I hear him rustling through his clothes and pick at a thread on his comforter. If I point out that there is a loose thread, he'll have a new comforter tonight. He's very weird about that type of stuff.

I turn to catch a glimpse of him browsing his wardrobe and feel a wonderful rush of pleasure at the thought that that wonderful backside belongs to me and no one else. Well, besides Cole, but let's face it, I basically own his arse now.

"Where's your Mum?" I call to him.

"Out shopping with my aunt," Cole replies. "Well, she was at a spa yesterday, to relax herself, and then was going to shop a little bit with my aunt. She promised to be back in time for brunch…"

I kick off my shoes and settle back into the bed. As an afterthought I unzip my jeans and begin to tug them off. I toss them across the room and then go for my shirt. It is only when I glance down to take off my socks that I see my legs.

"What the f—"

My jaw drops down onto my horribly red, swollen and blotchy knees. My legs look absolutely awful.

I close my eyes and then open them again, hoping this awful rash thing will disappear. It doesn't.

I rub at my legs frantically, though if anything, it has made it much worse. It must have been the lotion! That stupid lotion that I bought on impulse. It must have a weird scent or ingredient that is causing my legs to look like…I don't even know what they look like. I have never seen anything this gross.

I only know one thing and that is that I need to put my pants back on immediately before Cole sees me and never wants to shag me again. That is probably the last thing I need.

I am about to get off the bed and dash for my pants when he says, "Hey, what do you think about this shirt?"

I scramble under the covers and hold them up to my chest. My legs seem to be expanding now that there is no more constriction of a size four jean.

"Hmm?" I say as he comes out.

"What are you doing?" he asks me.

"Making myself at home," I say, giving a false laugh.

"Um…okay," he says. He holds up a shirt. "What do you think about this shirt?"

"I don't think I've ever seen such a repulsive shade of yellow in my life. Why?" I shift under the covers. After I rubbed them they began to itch a bit, it seems to be steadily getting worse.

Cole looks at the shirt doubtfully. "I love this shirt," he says. "I was going to wear this shirt tonight…Perhaps..."

"I don't see the point of this," I say, desperately wanting to throw the covers off my legs and itch freely.

Cole sighs. "I think I have to get rid of a few things and this shirt—I'm sorry, are we going to shag or were you just hot or something? You're being very distracting."

"What?"

"I can't talk to you with your breasts in my face."

I glance down. "Oh, sorry they offended you," I snap.

"They don't offend me!" Cole says. "The last thing they do is offend me, they're just distracting."

He tosses the shirt aside and pads over to the bed. With a jump, he lands next to me and turns on his side to look at me.

"Merry Christmas Eve," he says and gives me a soft, gentle kiss.

I smile. We start full on snogging at this point and really, I lose my head completely. I forget to realize that at some point he is going to want to get under the covers with me so that his thick comforter isn't between us.

Cole grabs the corner of the cover and tries to pull it back but I hold onto it with all my might and keep it where it is. Obviously thinking I have done this by accident he does it again and again and again until he breaks away from my face.

"What's the matter?" he asks.

"Nothing," I say and kiss him again, unable to help myself. I know we must shag way more than we just sit and talk, but I can't help myself. This sense of connection I feel with him is so strong that I have to…er, literally connect to him almost every chance I can just so that raw emotion has someplace to go before it overwhelms me.

Cole grabs the cover and pulls it, but I keep it in place.

"Hey, really, what's the matter?" he asks and sits up on his elbows. "We don't have to, if you don't want to." He looks imploringly at me and I know in an instant that he actually means it. "I was going to do that thing you like…you know…" He rubs his hand along my duvet-covered thigh and I shiver when it reaches the highest point. I am tempted to toss the covers aside and let him see, but I don't want him to see my huge, swollen thighs.

"I do want to do that…and I always want you to do _that_, it's just…"

"What is it?" he asks. He sits up and looks at me. Concern is etched in every single inch of his face and I bite my lip in resolve.

"Do you really love me?" I ask.

"Yes, of course I do! What's the matter?" His voice sounds thin and panicked.

"Okay," I say and sit up with a shaky sigh. "Here." I take the covers away from my legs and he sees them fully and clearly. The cool air makes them feel a little better, but they still look absolutely gross.

"What the hell _is_ that?" Cole bursts out.

"Cole!" I cry out, mortified.

"I'm sorry!" he says, staring down at the rash or disease or karma or whatever it is. "Does it hurt? Are you in pain?"

"It itches," I say, my eyes welling up. My hand starts scratching at a random spot and I feel Cole's hand come down and catch my hand.

"Don't itch it!" he cries and stares at it.

There is a long moment where he stares down at my rash. I begin to feel a bit uncomfortable with his eyes peering at me like that.

"Cole, cut that out!" I snap.

"I think you're having an allergic reaction," he informs me. "To what I am not sure of. Did you use anything different?" He looks up at me.

"That lotion I bought last week." I glance at him. "Could that be it?"

He shrugs. "What do I know? I'm not a Healer or anything."

"Well, great! I'm going to be all puffy and ugly and…and…mis-miserable all day!" I say, breaking into a wave of sobs. Part of it is to make Cole feel slightly guilty, but it is mostly real tears of sorrow.

"No, don't cry," Cole says immediately. "I'm sorry. Hold on." He jumps off the bed and dashes out the door.

I glance down at my legs and instantly begin to scratch like a mad-woman. It feels so much better. I rub my fingertips along my leg and feel no bumps. Perhaps it's an internal rash? I knew I shouldn't have been so mean to Elizabeth. This is karma coming to bite me on my antagonizing ass.

Cole comes back just as I am about to completely freak out and sits next to me on the bed. His boxers feel itchy against my thigh. "Can I rub some of this on your…thigh?"

I frown at his hesitation at thigh. No matter how large, it is still a thigh. "Yes, sure. It can't be much worse than this. Right?" I add hurriedly as the cool liquid from the opaque bottle drips onto my thigh.

I wait, praying for relief and dreading the awful burning sensation from earlier. My eyes remain closed as Cole's fingers gently spread the liquid along my legs and around to my thighs. I shiver when his fingers brush on the underside of my knee.

"How does that feel?" he asks softly.

"Good," I breathe, my eyes still closed. Honestly, this is the most sensual thing we have ever done with each other. Had it not been for my ugly, red, flabby thighs I would have said it was the sexiest thing we had ever done.

"Oh, good," Cole says and my eyes fly open. "The swelling's going down." I glance down and see that he is right. "Thank Merlin for that!"

The blotchy areas have smoothed out some and the real color of my skin is slowly coming back.

Cole rubs some more lotion around with his fingers and says, "Where did you get that stuff, anyways?"

"Erm," I say watching his fingers make slow, lazy circles along my inner thigh. "Zonko's I think."

His fingers stop moving and he glances up at me.

"You bought lotion from Zonko's?" he asks.

"Yes," I say. My defenses are already raised high because he is giving me that look. It is the same look he wears whenever I do something stupid and I'm embarrassed and he seems to really like that.

"Was it by the counter?"

"Yes," I reply, my cheeks already heating up and I am not sure why they would be. "It was buy one get one free!"

Cole throws his head back and laughs. He laughs so hard he has to sit up and hold his side.

"What is so funny?" I snarl.

Cole wipes a tear from his eye and shakes his head. "You bought a gag gift for yourself," he says.

"I did what?"

"That lotion. It's supposed to give you this type of rash."

"What!" I cry.

"It's a practical joke!"

"Well that's stupid!"

Cole begins to laugh again. "You pranked yourself," he says, wheezing slightly with laughter.

"Stop laughing!" I snarl.

"Oh, come on! It's funny," he says and kisses me gently on the lips. "You need to have a sense of humor with yourself, Roe."

I roll my eyes at him. "Yes, thank you," I spit.

He raises his eyebrows. "Someone's a little grumpy all of a sudden."

"You just…you look at me like I'm an idiot!" I say. Instantly I regret it.

"I look at you like you're a what?" Cole snaps, sitting up again. In his rudish laughter he fell back on top of me.

"Not all the time…but, when I do stupid stuff you just give me this…look!" I say. I suddenly don't like him looking at me or the fact that I am completely out in the open. I pull the covers back around me.

"Roe…" Cole says and then shakes his head. "That isn't a bad look! When you do stuff like that…" He sighs. "I think you're at your sexiest when you do silly stuff. I love that you make mistakes and that you still get embarrassed around me." His face comes closer to me and my breathing hitches slightly. "Like a minute ago…" He gives a soft groan. "When you bite your bottom lip and your cheeks get red and you avoid eye contact…"

"Yeah…?" I breathe.

"I don't think you realize just how sexy you look," Cole says to me.

We gaze into each other's eyes for the briefest second before I say, "Like this?" And slowly take my bottom lip under my teeth. Cole nods furiously and moves even closer to me so that our noses just barely touch.

"You can do that thing to me now if you want," I say to him.

"Okay," he breathes and slowly tugs the covers down. His kisses leave my mouth and my neck and slowly travel downward until they reach exactly where I want them to be. Cole knows exactly where to kiss and at what speed and for how long until I am biting my lip to keep from screaming out loud.

I have broken out into a slight sweat by the time his mouth reaches my neck again. I shiver, my body still shaking from his actions only a minute previously.

"Cole…" I say in a small voice and he reads my mind and inches in, slowly, tenderly and just right.

That is one thing I must say about Cole. He seems to be able to read my mind and do what I want him to do without ever saying it out loud. He knows where to press or stay that will drive me crazy, or how to move that is simply amazing.

I love that no matter how awful a day I have had at home, I can easily hurry over to Cole and simply escape. Here, lying beneath him as he does wonderful things, I do not remember the fight I had with Elizabeth or how Mum and Dad immediately take her side. No, I do not remember any of this, because I know Cole is all I would ever need. Well, except for Demi. And, let's face it, if Demi was a transsexual, I'm pretty sure I'd be dating her, not Cole. Still…

It is in the middle of our shag that I suddenly realize I am not doing anything. I am simply lying on the bed letting him do all the work. I open my eyes and try to look at him but his head is buried in my neck.

Do I always do this? Do I always just lay here and let him do all the work for me?

Then another thought occurs to me: Am I a bad shag?

Another, awful, worse thought enters my mind: Does Cole only shag me because I let him shag me all the time?

Filled with new determination I try to move my hips to match his rhythm, wondering if he would like that. It does make a slight difference and I am thinking I am doing such a wonderfully good job, until Cole's hips still.

"What's the matter? Am I hurting you?" he asks.

"No! Of course not!" I say. "Why?"

"You feel like you're trying to jump out of the way or something."

My cheeks instantly heat up. "No…I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive," I reply.

He gives me a wonderfully brilliant grin and then resumes at a delightful pace. I am momentarily paralyzed as warm fuzzy feeling envelope me. It is only when I remember that I am once again laying there, corpse-like, that I take a different approach and move my hips in a different way.

It is a bit awkward and I try and move my legs so that I can better leverage on the bed. It is then that I accidentally hit Cole in his bullocks with my knee.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," I cry in his ear the moment it happens. I seem to have felt it before he felt it.

He lets out a small puff of air and rolls off of me, red in the face.

"What the hell were you doing?" he snaps.

"I was trying," I reply, "to heighten your pleasure."

"Well, I'm simply soaring now," he hisses through gritted teeth. "You with your stupid bony knees!"

"I'm sorry!" I wail. I do have bony knees. "I just wanted you to feel nice!"

"I was feeling fine until you kneed me!" Cole says furiously. "Merlin, you're a spazz sometimes!"

"I know!" I say and slide closer to him. "I'm really sorry. I was just lying there and I thought maybe I was being lazy."

"You are lazy," Cole says to me.

"I do that all the time?" I ask, slightly mortified.

"No," Cole says. "Sometimes you just lay there, but it's alright. If you weren't constantly muttering things in my ear I'd think I was boring you."

"I'm sorry," I whisper. "Am I an awful shag?"

"No." Cole looks over at me. "Don't be stupid. If you were an awful shag I'd have told you so."

"You would tell me if I was awful?" I ask, aghast.

"How else would you know to change?" Cole asks.

"I don't know," I say, shrugging. "I guess you're right." I cringe at the mere thought that he may turn to me one day after we're done and tell me that I'm awful. I make a split decision now that I should probably take a more aggressive approach to love-making. Perhaps I'll have to train and really work at it, like doing daily squats and push-ups?

"Why do you have that look on your face?" Cole asks me suddenly.

I realize I've been picturing myself waking at dawn and training myself to be most sexually amazing. The thought of a hundred squats make me want to go celibate.

"No reason," I say. "How do you feel?"

"Better," he says and turns to look at me. "Why? You want to kick me again?"

"No," I grumble.

He picks his head up to kiss me and I instantly accept it.

"Hey, what are you doing?" he asks a moment later. He tried to roll on top of me, but, in deciding to do something a bit different, I flipped over again so I was on top.

"Trust me," I whisper. "You can just lie there now."

He makes a weird noise in the back of his throat as I kiss his neck.

A thought enters my mind mere seconds before we actually get down to shagging, and that is that we've never done it like this before…

OoOoOoOoOo

It's like shagging backwards. That's all I have to say. It was a bit weird and very different than when Cole is on top. Not to say I didn't like it just as much, but it was definitely different.

I know for a fact that Cole seemed to like it more. His finger nails dug into my hips so hard that when I screamed out, he took it as encouragement and…well, we're just going to have to work at it a bit.

As we sit in the living room waiting for his mother to come back, he keeps glancing over at me and smiling. I smile back, wondering what is going on in that brain of his. James once told me that a man will think about sex with a woman twenty times in an hour. As it is Cole and I have been sitting here for fifteen minutes. That means he must have been thinking about sex at least five times!

"What are you thinking about?" I ask him.

"You," he responds.

"Am I clothed?" I ask him.

"Er…"

"Brunch!" Pansy cries, coming back into room carrying a tray filled with cookies. Cole and I both stand as she walks in, he out of habit and I because he stood.

After out little experimentation upstairs, Cole and I showered and dressed and got downstairs just as three house elves carried in bags packed to the brim. Pansy walked into the hall and whipped off her cloak.

"I'm not nearly ready for human interaction!" she called to us as she rushed up the stairs towards her bedroom. She came down an hour later and went straight into the kitchen to oversee the cooking.

Cole widens his eyes when he sees Pansy. "Mum, you're carrying a tray! Don't stress yourself!" he says sarcastically.

She makes a face at him and then turns to me with a wide smile. "Sit down, Roe. Please." She gestures to the giant chair next to the couch and I take a seat dutifully. I sink into the cushions and take a deep breath before reaching for a cookie.

"So, Roe, what are your plans for the day after Christmas?" Pansy asks me.

"Well, my family usually just hangs around the house," I say with a shrug. "Nothing special."

"Wonderful!" Cole's mother replies and I feel a twinge of apprehension. I turn to Cole, but he is staring at his mother expectantly. "Your family should join us for dinner!" My head whips around to stare at her. She smiles at me.

"Erm…yes, well, I'll…see," I say and then shove a cookie in my mouth. I turn to Cole and plead with him silently and through my eyes.

"You know, Mum, there isn't much room at the table for five extra people," Cole says. "And, Roe hasn't seen her family since September. They probably want to spend their time together."

Pansy narrows her eyes at him slightly and then turns to me with a bright smile. It sends a chill through my body and I repress a shiver. "Of course," she replies and takes a sip of her tea.

The three of us wait in a tense silence until Draco, Cole's father, joins us, fresh from work.

"Hello, hello, hello!" he says, throwing his cloak over the back of the chair. He bends down to kiss Pansy and then turns to Cole and I with a giant smile. "How are we this morning."

"I had just mentioned to Roe, not ten minutes ago, that her family should meet our family," Pansy says to Draco. "I mean after all, our son is dating their daughter. And they've been seeing each other intimately for some time now."

Cole and I choke on our tea.

"Mum!" he cries incredulously, his face beet red.

"What?" Pansy asks, turning to him with raised eyebrows. She seems to understand what we think she means. "Oh, you two! I just meant you two are serious about each other." She turns to Draco and I see him give her a very clear warning look.

"More tea?" Draco asks, clearly trying to steer us away from this conversation.

"Yes!" both Cole and I nearly shout and thrust our glasses at him. He waves his wand and our cups refill and we both gulp instantly, eager for some sort of a wedge in the conversation.

It is halfway through brunch that I glance over at Draco and my instant wonderings surface. I wonder how many timeS he's thought about sex with a woman…

"Stop it, stop it!" I hiss to myself.

"What?" Cole asks.

"Nothing," I say and give him a giant, false smile. "Just thinking…"

OoOoOoOo

_I am swimming in my ocean of taffeta when the first beam of support fell out from under my very feet. It happened at the Ball. Looking back on that night, it couldn't have seemed more perfect…_

We arrive late, as usual and separate almost instantly, us Potter's. The foreshadowing is great, but no one notices.

I don't see Mum and Dad for the rest of the night and busy myself with Demi and Frank, who are talking over what they want to do after graduation.

"Travel," they say together and then smile.

"This is why I love you," Demi says and kisses Frank. "Hey, Roe, why don't you and Cole come back to my house? Dad and Mum will be here for the rest of the night. Us kids can hang out."

"Cole?"

"Yeah, sounds great," he says, standing against the wall. To an outsider it would appear he was observing the crowd, oblivious to the three loud, laughing people in front of him, but I noticed his eyes kept coming back to me.

"Sure, let me just find my parents and tell them we're leaving."

I spot Mum and Dad across the room and slowly make my way to them. They are talking to someone as I approach them.

"Yes, yes," Dad is saying with a tense smile. He spots me and smiles broadly. "Oh, here she is!" He grabs my arm. "I want you to meet my youngest, Roe."

I am shoved next to Dad and his arm is placed over my shoulders almost like a seatbelt. My eyes are fixed on my drink, that just sloshes too close to my dress.

"Draco, this is our youngest daughter, Roe. Roe, this is Mr. Malfoy."

"Hello," he says in his familiar voice, the voice that sounds so much like Cole I almost forget who I am looking at. And as I stand there, I feel that small beam of support snap and break, fall out from beneath my control and safety, and come crashing to the floor. And it was only the beginning…

A/N….this is where it begins to get good. More soon…


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N If I am correct I believe this is the chapter everyone has been waiting for…**

I glance up slowly. In fact, the entire room seems to have slowed down. The sound has gone on mute and the only thing I can hear is my heartbeat accelerated and my pulse quicken as Mr. Malfoy and I exchange looks.

He is staring at me as though he has been hit on head by a mallet or something. His eyes have gone wide and his hand has frozen mid-air in what I suppose was intended to be handshake. The surprise in his eyes is so definite and so obvious I am sure Mum and Dad must have noticed it.

"Roe…" Mum says when I still haven't said anything. "Roe!" she nudges me hard.

"H-hello," I say, recovering my voice. "Nice to meet you," I mumble.

"And nice to meet you, too," he says. His voice sounds odd to my ears, and I know he is just as uncomfortable as I am. Perhaps he's even furious. The selfish little girl who lives in my body returns and I can think of nothing else except whether or not he's going to tell my parents. I brace myself.

"Well, it was nice to talk to you," Draco says. "If you'll excuse me, I think I see my wife across the room."

I blanch and nearly spill my drink, but as he leaves he gives me a look. I'm not sure what he meant with it, but it comforted me. It seemed to promise me that he wouldn't say anything. I could be wrong, though.

"Did you need something dear?" Dad asks.

"No…" I whisper.

"Roe, what's the matter?" Mum asks suddenly. "You're white as a sheet!" She puts a hand to my face and pulls me in closer. "Is something the matter? You can tell me."

Oh, how I wish I could!

"I'm fine," I say, trying to gently pry myself away from her with ease and grace. "I wanted to ask if I could hang out at Demi's house for a little bit. I'll be back by midnight."

Mum and Dad exchange looks and then Dad nods. "Be back before midnight, please, though," he implores as I turn sharply and hurry back towards the table. I spot Cole almost instantly, as he is standing against the wall, glaring down at Demi's head.

"Did they say yes?" Demi asks as soon as I return.

"Yes," I say and glance around the table. I spot Frank's firewhiskey in his hand and snatch it away before he can realize what I'm doing.

"Hey!" he cries in outrage. "You could have asked first, you seagull." The achingly familiar liquid burns my throat.

"I've got some at my house," Demi says. "Let me go find my parents. Stay here and wait for me…Frank!" He heaves himself from the table and follows after her dutifully.

"What's the matter with you?" I hear Cole's faint voice from across the table.

"Follow me," I say as I pass by him. I lead him into a familiar looking cloak room and whirl around, waiting for him to follow me. He opens the door a second after I closed it and then closes it over himself.

"Will you tell me what's the matter?" he asks and take a gulp of butterbeer.

"My father just introduced me to your father," I say to him and hear him choke on his butterbeer. He begins to cough violently.

"What?" he splutters finally. "When?"

"Oh, about five seconds ago," I say, my voice feeling distant and numb in my throat.

"What did you say?"

"I said it was nice to meet him." I turn to Cole and see that his face is as white as my face.

"Let me go find him," Cole says to me. He sets his drink down on the table and scans the room.

"No, Cole, I don't know if that's a good idea…" I say. I feel myself begin to break out into a sweat and I wonder if I'll faint.

"Well, I've got to talk to him! Explain it to him!"

I place a shaky hand against my forehead and exhale loudly. "Alright," I concede. "But, please, don't make him angry. I don't want him to tell my parents!"

"Right, well, as long as you're the only one who comes away from this unharmed I guess we can call this whole thing a success," Cole says, his voice dead and hard.

I whirl around. The force of his words feel as though they've hit me in the face, as though he's hit me in the face.

"I didn't mean—"

"I know what you meant, Roe," he says dismissively. "I'll find him and go talk to him."

"But what am I supposed to—"

"I don't know, Roe!" Cole bursts out. "I don't know what you're supposed to do! How about be a grown-up? You are seventeen years old! I do not have the time or patience to constantly soothe your ego and guide you around telling you what to do! Figure it out for yourself! Merlin!"

He strides away from me and throws the door open before I have a chance to react to anything he has said to me. When the door closes over I cringe, but still do not move. His words continue to play over and over and over in my mind.

I understand he's angry and he's scared and upset, but at the same time so am I! I thought we were in this together. I thought we agreed that when we told our parents that we would support each other. I thought we agreed…I thought we agreed to be nice and kind to each other. Or was that just me?

Finally, after what seems like ages, I open the door and step outside into the light from the hallway.

"Excuse me," I say, as I bump into two people attempting to get into the coatroom.

"Oh, sorry," the girl says. She gives the boy's arm a tug and he comes closer.

I stare at them for half a second before I say, "Good luck with that…" and continue on walking.

It is only when I get outside that my despondence with Cole's angry outburst at me turns into anger, then fury and then rage. I decide I am going to talk to him. How dare he talk to me like that? I am his girlfriend, damn it, and I do deserve some, if not a lot of, respect!

I wheel around and charge back into the ballroom, my ugly dress feels as though it weighs tons. By the time I get towards Cole my hair should be cackling with electricity. He is standing in the corner with Sebastian, both looking solemn.

"Roe…" Cole says as soon as he sees me.

"No. Shut up," I say firmly.

"Wha—"

"I said shut up!" I snarl at him. "I understand that you're angry, and I understand that we are completely and utterly fucked, but if you ever talk to me like that again, Cole Malfoy, I will…I will…" My cheeks turn red as I realize I hadn't really thought that far. "I will chop of your balls and make you go bald!" I finally say, regaining my angry stance. "Is that understood?"

Before he can answer I turn around and stomp away, not at all aware of where I am going.

"There she is!" I hear from across the room. "Roe!"

I turn to see Demi coming over to me, Frank just behind her, with an angry look on her face. And then, suddenly, I feel ready to fight with her, or to justify my actions with Demi.

"Where have you been? I thought I told you to wait—"

"Yes, well, I'm sorry I didn't sit there like an obedient dog while you went and got permission from your parents!"

"What is the matter with you?" Demi demands. "Just because you and Cole had a fight—"

"Actually, Demi, we didn't have a fight. Has it ever occurred to you that angry feelings towards you are probably far more normal than warm, fluffy ones? Has it ever occurred to you that maybe people don't like that you're bossy and nosy and rude? Has it ever occurred to you that maybe I didn't sit there and wait for you because I am not your damn slave like Frank is?"

There is a stunned silence from the both of them and as much as I would like to try I can not make the words stop flowing from my mouth. I can't stop saying these awful things to Demi, my best friend in the entire world. I am such a horrible person and I want to stop, but I can't.

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going back to my house to sit in my bed and relax! I'll talk to you later. Maybe, if you can stop ordering me around and expecting me to be at your every becking call!"

My chest is heaving up and down by the time I reach the front door of the Ministry Ball Room. Time seems to have slowed down as I slowly make my way down the steps, my heart thundering painfully into my chest.

"What have I done?" I whisper to myself holding my head.

I finally regain some sort of semblance of where I am, and decide I better get home before I fall apart, lest I wind up without a leg or boob.

When I am home, however, it doesn't feel any better than I thought I might feel. The house is oppressive and much like a cage. It closes in on me and holds tight, a bear hug that only makes me feel pain.

I stumble into my bedroom, my dress dragging me down and causing the run up the stairs to feel like a workout. Collapsing onto my bed is the only thing that feels good about this whole night. I lay my head against the pillow, sinking into its depths.

"Roe?" I hear from outside my door.

I sit up, my senses on high. I can not differentiate the voice. "Yes?" I ask shakily.

The door creaks open slowly and Elizabeth pokes her head in and studies me. She seems nervous.

"Are you okay?" she asks.

I try to nod, but my mouth decides to answer for me and says, "No, I'm not okay, actually."

Elizabeth inches into the room and shuts the door over. She leans against it, her back flat against the door, her eyes wide with curiosity.

"Is there anything I can do?" she asks timidly. "I'll help you…"

I shake my head and let out a short, bitter laugh. "Yeah, right, you'll help me," I say sarcastically. "You'll run and tell Mum the second I confide in you."

Her brow furrows and she tilts her head slightly. "Of course I wouldn't," she tells me, surprise evident in her voice. "I wouldn't do that to you, Roe." And, just as timidly as she's been speaking to me, she inches away from the door and over to my bed. She sits down and turns to me, her eyebrows raised and her mouth daintily closed as she waits for me to begin.

"I'm having…" I begin and then trail off. I wonder if it is even safe to tell Elizabeth that I have a boyfriend. Suppose she will tell Mum and Dad?

No. A strong, firm voice in the back of my head tells me that Elizabeth wouldn't dare, wouldn't stoop as low as to, tell Mum or Dad.

"I'm having boyfriend troubles," I say in a low voice.

"Ah." Her right eyebrow is raised and her face is thoughtful. "What kind of trouble?"

The tiny knot in my stomach relaxes as I realize she isn't going to ask me details, such as who he is, how long we've been dating and where we met. All of those couldn't be answered.

"We can't be together," I say carefully, wondering if I've given too much away.

"Why not?" Elizabeth asks, curiosity dripping from her voice. It isn't malevolent, though, simply innocent curiosity.

"It's complicated," I say.

"Is he seeing someone else?" she asks.

"Like dating someone else as well?" I ask in return.

"Yes."

"No! I'm not a slag, Elizabeth!" I cry, furious.

Her face turns bright red. "I didn't say you were," she mumbles and breaks eye contact with me. For a moment she is silent and then she says, "Well, then, why can't you see him? I don't understand."

"It's just complicated!" I burst out.

"Why?" she asks, equally loud. "Roe, if you really like this boy then you shouldn't let anything stand in the way of how you feel!"

"His parents don't like me," I admit. "At all."

"So?" she says. "You aren't dating his parents." She smiles slightly. "And if this boy has any brains he won't care that his parents don't like you."

I sigh. "It's still not as easy as that," I say to her.

"Listen to me," she says firmly. "I know what it's like to be in an awful, uncomfortable dating situation."

My heart begins to beat just a little faster and I turn to look at her, trying to conceal my unadulterated curiosity.

"Oh?" I say casually, though it falls flat.

She turns to look at me, leveling me. "Yes," she says. "I have been dating someone for a while now."

"I did not know that," I say coolly.

"Well, I didn't say anything because…well, we were afraid that our being together would hurt someone else. But…we just couldn't stand to be apart from one another. Do you and this boyfriend of yours have that raw, animal attraction with each other?"

"Elizabeth!" I cry, very nearly mortified.

"Sorry," she says, though she doesn't sound or look sorry. "But there is so much chemistry between the two of us. Don't get me wrong, though, it isn't all about sex. Not at all." Suddenly her eyes get a cloudy look of thought about them. "I love him very, very much. And I know he feels the same way." She turns to look at me. I find my breath halting within my throat at the intense gaze she's giving me. "And I hope that the girl we have been hurting will understand and forgive us…when we tell her." She drops her gaze. "Does that help?"

I am silent for a moment, thoughtful. "No. Not really. Sorry." I shrug. "But thanks for trying."

"Well, I've done all I can," she says, getting up off of my bed. She is about to walk through the door when I call her name out loud. "Yeah?" she asks, turning to me.

"I lied."

"Oh?"

"It did help."

She beams at me. "I know."

"And…if that girl really knows how you feel, then she will forgive you."

"You really think so?"

"Yeah."

"I hope so."

With her usual air of know-all, she strides from the room and lets the door shut with a tight pop, leaving me to slump against my pillows, suddenly weary.

I think about what she has said to me and wonder who the boy is that got Elizabeth to open up with someone more than she has with anyone in our family. Then, I wonder if I have met this boy. Perhaps he was someone I easily dismissed because he never had a chance with Elizabeth. I didn't think anyone did!

After I think about Elizabeth and her animal attraction to her boyfriend, I decide to go to bed. Mum and Dad think I am at Demi's, so they may not come home for a while yet. It is only a little after ten.

"Stupid ball," I mutter, wrenching myself free of my dress. It pools at my feet and I kick myself free from it. It must be bad luck. I think I'll light it on fire tomorrow and rid myself of its bad energy.

I head into my bathroom and drop the dress in the corner. It deflates and seems to sink into my carpet, an ugly mass of teal and pea green evil.

I wash my face and brush my teeth and my hair. My face seems pale and sickly, though it is probably because I am worried. My mind wanders over to Cole almost constantly. I wonder what he is doing. I wonder if his mother knows. I wonder if they are insisting he break up with me immediately. I wonder if he agrees.

I feel ill. I don't want to think about something like that. I don't think Cole would break up with me. I don't know, of course, he might. Maybe he has been looking for a chance for ages?

I think back to this morning and I wonder if he really loved me when he said he did. I can't help wonder if he only said it because I was on top of him. I can't help wonder if he would say it to anyone in the middle of sex.

My hands shake as I pull back my comforter. I know I will not sleep at all tonight, which is fine with me. I enjoy lying in my bed, staring up at the ceiling and thinking. My thoughts will not be enjoyable, but I still like to think them. The little voice in the back of my head, the one that narrates things for me, and speaks while I think of things, is soothing and velvety. She will not tell me nasty things. She will keep me happy.

However, I do not lie awake thinking. I am much more exhausted then I originally thought I was. My eyelids droop every once in a while and I fight to keep them open. I usually always watch the clock for it to chime midnight. I like to know that Christmas morning is there when I fall asleep and it will still be there when I wake up.

As soon as the clock on my bedside table chimes twelve times, my eyes close automatically. I feel myself sinking into sleep. It is comforting and familiar and oh-so wonderful. I love to sleep. I can finally forget about how when I wake up my best friend may still hate me and my boyfriend is going to break up with me. Now, I can dream in peace.

But my dreams aren't peaceful. I am plagued with dreams of Cole kissing other girls, of Demi and Frank glaring at me across the room, of Elizabeth whispering in Mum's ear as I watch all of this helplessly, unable to move. And in the background in an annoying, consistent tapping that I want desperately to stop.

It is just about the time in my dream when Cole reaches up the other girl's shirt that I awake with a thin exhale and hold my head.

"Roe?"

I whirl around to see Cole sitting outside my window, looking in at me. I watch him for a moment before slipping from beneath the covers and walking towards the window.

"What do you want?" I ask him angrily.

"Let me in," he says.

"Why should I?" I ask. I realize I sound childish, but I do not, and will not, care.

"I think we need to talk," he says.

I swallow to cover the sudden choking sound in my throat. I can feel it coming. I can feel the breakup coming before it even happens. It seems to radiate off of Cole's body.

With numb fingers I reach for the small latch on my door and slip it off. My double windows open wide to let him, and a cool gust of air, in. I shiver and watch him come through my window for what I assume is the last time. I pick up my wand and cast a silencing spell, then I turn back to him.

"What is it?" I ask him.

"It's cold out, isn't it?"

"Cole…"

"I mean, I know it's winter and all, but—"

"Cole!"

"What?"

"Are you breaking up with me?"

Cole's head looks up so fast that I am sure it must have hurt him, but he shows no notice of it. His eyes gaze at me intently and I am waiting on pins and needles for his answer. If it is yes then I will let him go with dignity. I will smile and hug him and tell him that I understand. I will let him off the hook and wait for him to leave before I will cry. I will show him that I _am_ a grown-up who can take care of herself.

"No," he says firmly. "And that is exactly what I told my father. I told him that I love you and you are the most important thing to me."

"And what did he say?" I ask quietly.

"Nothing," Cole says. "I just left and came here."

"Oh." I turn and walk over to my bed, unsure of whether I should be happy or not. Sure, he told his father what's what, but Mr. Malfoy could very well tell him off in the morning. "Did he seem mad?"

"Not really," Cole says and gazes at me warily. "Not as mad as you seem, at least."

I turn slightly, and arch and eyebrow. "Who says I'm mad?"

"I think I know you well enough to know you aren't exactly happy with me right now." He comes to sit next to me. "And I know it's because of what I said to you."

I sniff and look away, his words still ringing in my ears as though he keeps repeating them.

"I cannot take them back," he says, "but I can tell you that I said them in the heat of the moment. I didn't mean them the way they sounded. All I can say is that I'm sorry if I hurt you."

"You did hurt me," I say, feeling myself well up, but fighting the tears. I do not want to guilt Cole into further apologizing. "You can't talk to me like that!" A traitorous tear leaks from my eye and my nose begins to clog. I now have to breathe through my mouth in fear of sniffling, a dead giveaway.

"I know and I'm sorry," Cole says immediately. His palm comes up to touch my face and I know immediately that he feels the tears. He inches closer. "Don't cry…"

"I can't help it! I have a vagina and my vagina makes me c-cry sometimes!" I very nearly wail.

"That's awful!" Cole says and then kisses me. "Come here…" He tugs my arm and pulls me closer to him. My head falls onto his shoulder. "Everything's going to be different…" he says softly.

Those words cause my stomach to crunch painfully and I fight to urge to pull back from him and wail into my pillow. I lay against him and stay strong, to be the support he needs.

"I know," I reply, "but it'll be alright. We'll be alright."

"I hope so," Cole says, his voice hollow. It scares me.

We fall back against my pillow, head next to head, with his arm thrown out across my hair. Cole and I both stare up at the ceiling and do not speak, for at the moment there are no more words to be spoken. There is nothing else to say on the situation. We've been caught. It was eventual and long coming, but it is still scary.

About an hour or so later, as Cole and I lie on our backs and do not speak, Cole nudges me with his elbow.

"Hmm?" I ask, turning my head under his arm.

"Merry Christmas," he says and plops something onto my stomach.

I reach for it and immediately feel rough material against my hands. Staring down at it, it seems distorted in the dark.

"What is it?" I ask curiously.

"Here, maybe this will help. _Lumos_."

Small light comes from the tip of his wand and I sit up from under his arm, as does he. Sitting on my lap is an old, battered backpack.

"It was my mother's," he informs me.

"Er…thank you, Cole!" I say brightly. I knew I should have given him a fucking list. This is what you get!

Don't be such a spoiled bitch! A voice in the back of my head screams, This obviously has sentimental value!

Right. It is meant to be…sweet, I suppose.

"Open it," he says and sounds amused. "You don't really think all I bought you was a dirty old backpack, do you?"

"Of course not!" I say, delirious with glee. I don't have a stupid boyfriend after all!

No matter what is going on in my life, as long as I have a present to unwrap, it keeps me sane.

I pull the strings of the bag and dump it upside down. Five wrapped object fall into my lap and I set the bag down beside me.

"This one first," Cole says. He gestures to a thick, red box with gold foil ribbon. "It's like putting the pieces of a puzzle together…"

"Okay," I say and carefully rip the paper open. There is a plain box now, still waiting to be open. I tug the handle up and dump a heavy object into my hand. "It's a—"

"Camera!" Cole finishes for me. I turn, an amused look on my face and see that he seems fairly embarrassed with himself. "Well, you can see that," he says gruffly and gestures to it. "Look at it."

"This is beautiful," I whisper.

"It takes both Muggle and magical photos. The potion is really easy to make. I think the two of us could manage it."

I beam at him. "Which one next?" I ask.

"This one," he says and hands it to me.

It is thin, but rather large, and sort of heavy. I move it around in my hands before opening it and can feel it bend with ease.

"What is it?" I ask.

"Open it and find out," Cole says.

I do, tearing at the paper with less care and discarding it just as easily.

"Oh!" I say.

"It's an atlas," Cole informs me.

"I see that," I say to him, becoming increasingly more confused. I open the book and flip through the pages. Something bright and yellow catches my eye in Ireland and I stop on that page. "What are these giant X's for?" I ask curiously.

"It's where we're going," Cole informs me.

"Huh?"

"Wait, open the last three," Cole says.

The next present is a tent and then a giant, never-ending photo album.

"Cole, what do these all add up to?" I ask him.

"Just…open the last one," he says imploringly. He hands it to me and I stare down, my breath becoming short and shallow.

Sitting inside my hand is a tiny, black, velvet box.

"Cole…" I whisper.

"Open it," he commands softly.

I shut my eyes and open it. It takes every ounce of self control not to run around my room shouting yes.

That is, until I open my eyes.

"Oh."

Sitting inside the plush contents of the box is a gorgeous, antique locket. The outside has the carving of a pink rose with a faint green stem and a single leaf.

"It's beautiful," I whisper. Beautiful, but not a ring.

Cole can sense some sort of disappointment on my part and shifts uncomfortably. "Well, I saw it in the window of a shop and I thought it was perfect for you…" he says fast.

"Thank you," I say and kiss him. He becomes silent. He has no choice. My hands are holding his head still and my lips lay on his, immobile. I pull away when I realize I have been doing this for a few minutes. "It's so gorgeous."

"You're welcome," he says sheepishly. Perhaps he realizes what I thought was inside the box, for he says, "Do you want to know the explanation for the presents?"

"Yes," I say, sitting back on the comforter. I feel a single, happy tear run down my cheek and hastily wipe it away.

"These," he says, and gestures at the camera, atlas, tent, photo album and backpack, "are for the trip I planned for us after graduation."

"Trip?" I ask curiously.

"Yes," Cole says. He looks at me and then say breathlessly, excitedly, "if you're willing that is, I would like for us to take a year off and travel all around the world." He opens the atlas. "That is what these X's are for. Where we'll go. It doesn't have to be in this order…it doesn't have to be these places. We can go where ever you like! And this…" He picks up the locket and holds it in his hand. "This is a promise."

I gaze at him without blinking. "What are you promising?" I ask.

"That I will be with you this summer…and every other summer afterwards for as long as you want me," he says.

I exhale and feel myself overcome with such wonderful emotion I could burst. I kiss him again, hard and passionately. When we pull away, the both of us are panting.

"Cole…everything is….perfect," I inform him. I think of his presents sitting on the bottom of my bedside table drawer and blanch. "My gifts are silly…nothing as…_wonderful_ as this…"

"That's okay, Roe," he says and leans forward to kiss me.

I take a deep breath. "Okay."

I lean over the bed to grab the handle of the drawer. It slides open and I reach inside. With a last sigh I pull out the three packages. I turn back to him and hand him the first one.

"That one first, I suppose," I say to him.

He unwraps it with amazing care to the paper and slides the gift from beneath the cover. I wait, breathlessly, for his response.

It was a picture of me that I saw him admiring a few months back. I had gone to the bathroom and came back and he was staring at it. He stared at it for a full five minutes before I tiptoed out and then clonked loudly back in. When I asked him what he was looking at he got completely embarrassed and wouldn't tell me. I went back after he had left and saw that there was only one picture of me on the table. At first I had the very same picture wrapped, but Mum started looking for it, claiming it was her favorite photo of me, so I had it copied for Cole.

"Do you like it?" I ask timidly. I can see that Cole has flushed all types of red, but I think he likes it.

"I do," he says softly and finally raises his eyes to meet mine. "How did you…"

"I saw you staring at it," I tell him. "I figured you should have something of me to look at."

"Thank you," he says.

I think maybe the picture is like receiving underwear on Christmas morning. You need underwear, you want underwear, you like underwear, but you don't like other people seeing you get underwear.

"Now this one," I say and hand it to him.

He opens it and I wait with bated breath to see what he says.

"Thanks…Roe," Cole says.

"Well, I saw your di…er, your journal on the floor of your room a while back. It looked pretty worn out so I figured you could use one."

"It isn't a diary!" he cries suddenly.

"I didn't say it was!" I cry back.

"Did you…did you read it?" he asks, his face flushing again.

"No," I say honestly, and mentally add, I will now, though.

I've only gotten close enough to read it twice. Once when Cole got up to get us some drinks and I saw it poking out from beneath his bed. He came back before I could open it and I had to pretend to look for my bra, which I was wearing. The second time it wasn't under his bed and was no where I looked. Again when he came in I told him I was chasing a fly.

"Why?" I ask. "What's in it?"

"Nothing," he snaps.

So far all I've done is embarrass him with my gifts. Great! I officially suck as a girlfriend.

"I'm sorry," I say. "All I've done is embarrass you."

"I'm not embarrassed!" Cole says.

"You're blushing!"

"I'm not…I'm not blushing!" he snaps, blushing further.

"Here, this can't possibly do any more damage to my awful presents!" I toss the last gift at him and watch him open it with dull excitement.

"Wow, Roe!"

I perk up at his genuine outburst of excitement.

"Do you like it?" I ask.

"Yeah! I've been meaning to get a new one for ages…It's amazing!" He slips his old watch off and puts mine on his wrist. It twinkles in the dim light. "Thank you."

"You really like it?" I ask happily.

"Yes."

"Thank Merlin!" I cry and throw my arms around him. "I don't suck!" I pull back, but keep my arms firmly around him, and kiss him. "Put the locket on me."

"Okay," he says.

I turn away from him and hold my hair up on top of my head and wait as he undoes the clasp and then wraps it around my neck and links it. The cold silver falls down my neck and causes me to shiver.

I turn to face him again.

"How does it look?" I ask him.

"Beautiful," he whispers. "Really…amazing."

I blush almost instantly. I hadn't expected him to say something like that.

"Thank you," I say, almost uncomfortably.

He bends down to kiss me, and it catches me off guard. I nearly fall backwards, but reach onto him to steady myself.

A moment later he pushes me back against the pillows. I reach for the buckle of his pants, but his hand catches mine. I look up at him, only to see him staring down at me with such an intense look on his face that I feel completely naked.

"Not tonight," he whispers. "It doesn't have to be about that tonight…That isn't why I gave you those gifts and it isn't why I say the things I say to you. You know that, don't you?"

I do now.

The part of me that was still holding out, that wasn't sure, suddenly cracks into a billion pieces. The girl who was shattered by Michael is healing and I find myself plummeting in love with Cole even more. Whatever childish doubts I had, whatever was holding me back is suddenly gone, never to return. I finally know that what we are doesn't have to be about sex. I don't need to have sex with Cole to get him to say nice things to me. He means them. He doesn't need motivation.

I nod, my nose moving against his.

"Good," he whispers and then wraps his arms around me. His mouth kisses my neck and my back is pressed against his front. "I love you so much," he whispers to me.

"I love you, too," I tell him, my heart swelling and expanding so much that I fear this emotion will have no where to go. It suddenly unleashes from my eyes as tears roll down my cheeks. "Thank you," I say, my body beginning to shake with sobs. I turn towards him. "Thank you," I cry and bury my face into his chest.

Cole knows to grab me almost immediately and pulls me in as close as he can. I lean my cheek against his shoulder, tears still flowing uncontrollably.

It is unimaginable to think that I am lying here with a boy who loves everything I hate about myself. He loves my bony hips and tiny breasts and pointed chin. He loves that I trip and I swear and I say what I think. He loves that I make mistakes and I still get embarrassed and I'm overly emotional. He puts up with my best friend and stood up to his father all for me.

I can not believe that last year at this time I was trying to pretend that I loved Michael and not Cole. I was trying to pretend that Michael wasn't fooling around on me. I was trying to pretend I was happy, when really, I was miserable. I couldn't stand myself at times. The sound of my voice, the feel of my skin, everything. I picked on myself sometimes.

I was drowning and Cole was like fresh air.

Cole manages to make every bad thought I had about myself slowly disappear until they are far and few between. He knows what to say to me that makes me realize I am beautiful.

Cole puts up with me when I'm at my craziest. Here I am, sobbing uncontrollably into his chest and he hasn't pushed me away or dashed off or reached for my breast. He has stayed still and stroked my hair. He has known well enough not to tell me not to cry. He knows I need to cry.

"No," Cole says to me. "Thank you."

He holds my face in his hands and tilts it so that I am staring up at him. I realize with a start that he knows exactly what I meant by it.

I do not know when I fell asleep, only that I feel Cole's lips against my temple kiss me once, twice and then a third time.

I crack an eye open.

"No, no," he says hurriedly. "Don't wake up. Stay asleep. It's early."

"How early?" I croak.

"Six," he says. "Go back to bed. I'm going to sneak back into my house."

I am already slumped against my pillows in reluctant sleep.

He tugs on his shoes and then kisses my cheek again.

"Happy Christmas, Roe," he whispers in my cheek.

"Happy…" I trail off, my eyes sliding shut again.

"I'll see you tonight?"

"Mhmm," I mumble and slip back into sleep.

"Wake up, Roe! It's ten o'clock! Santa came!"

"Get _out_ of my room, James!" I groan.

"C'mon," James says, tugging my arms. "Mum's about to have kittens in the living room. There's a small box with her name on it from Dad. She thinks it's jewelry."

"Okay…okay," I say and heave myself out of bed. Depriving Mum of her gifts is not exactly a smart thing to do.

"What the hell happened to your face?" James asks.

"What?" I ask, my hand flying up. I immediately feel puffy skin, a tell tale sign that I've been crying. "Nothing!"

"Have you been crying?" he asks.

"No!" I lie and hurry past him. "Come on!"

He follows and does not question me further, though that does not go for the rest of my family. I finally burst out and say that I had a bad experience with Muggle marijuana and that shuts them all up, except James who says, "I hope you didn't buy it from Arty Douglas. That stuff will send you tripping for days!"

"Now I know where all your allowance went," Dad says dryly and hands James a box. "Merry Christmas. You make us so proud."

"What?" he shrugs at Elizabeth. "It does."

"Just open your gifts," Mum snaps, rolling her eyes at Dad. "Here, love, this is for you."

We open our gifts quickly. We're all adults, but we still get overly excited about Christmas.

"Roe…what is this?" Dad asks, unwrapping the first of my two gifts for him.

"Oh my…Roe!" Mum says and then bursts into laughter.

"What is it?" he demands of my mother, his cheeks already coloring.

"It's a girdle," Mum says, stifling her laughter.

"For your Dudley tummy!" I say. "The lady at the store said this was the best for maintaining your hour glass figure, which I knew was the only thing on your mind."

Elizabeth giggles behind the sweater she is holding up and James smirks at me before opening the rest of his presents. Dad frowns at it in confusion, but decides he'd rather just accept it, and thanks me with as much maturity as he can muster.

By the end of the hour I have a new package of underwear, socks, a sweater, two scarves, a new poster, a new art set I've been lusting at, which Elizabeth bought me, a new school bag from James, and a pair of pearl earrings of Mum's that she has always refused to let me even touch and a silver anklet from Demi. I feel a twinge of guilt as I look down at it and know I will have to talk to her.

The gifts from my family are simply amazing, and truly the best. Usually James patches together a card and maybe something stupid, and Elizabeth almost always gets me something practical. This year has been a nice haul, actually.

The rest of the day goes by without much concern. It is not until the next morning that the final leg of support snaps from beneath me. It is not until the next morning that my life takes a cheesy, dramatic turn and, like Cole said last night, everything is going to be different.

OoOoOo

I wake up and I feel normal. Cole slept over again last night, but we didn't make love. He just held me for a while and then rolled over onto his stomach and spread out in my bed. I slept on his back, which was just as comfortable.

"Good morning, Roe!" Mum says as soon as I walk into the kitchen. Everyone is already sitting at the table. "Here's some juice."

I look around at the food at the table. Mum has made all of my favorites: bacon, pancakes, bacon, French toast and waffles.

Midway through breakfast Elizabeth stops eating. Towards the end she is completely still. And then at the end she speaks.

"I need to tell you something, Roe," she says.

"Elizabeth…" Mum says in a warning voice. I look at Mum, but she is staring hard at the plate in front of her.

"What do you need to tell me?" I ask. I realize the entire room has gone completely still. I also realize that Dad and James are staring at me.

I look at Elizabeth and she finally raises her eyes to mine.

"I'm sorry," she says, her beautiful eyes filling with tears. "I just want you to know that. I am sorry about everything…"

"About _what_?" I am nervous now. "What's going on?" I look at James and he drops his gaze guiltily.

"Roe…I'm pregnant."

I am silent for what feels like a full five minutes. No one else speaks, everyone is staring in different directions, except for Elizabeth. She is starting directly at me.

"Erm…alright…" I say awkwardly. I suddenly realize that the weight she has put on has been all in her stomach. Merlin, I am such an idiot sometimes. "Who's the father?"

"Oh Merlin," James mutters.

"It's…it's Michael, Roe."

"Michael?" I repeat. "Michael—my Michael? You slept with Michael?"

She nods miserably. "I'm sorry, we didn't want to hurt you so I never told you."

"We've been over since…March," I say, loosing my footing. The air in the room seems nervous and I can tell there is more to this than it seems.

"Right, you have," Elizabeth agrees. "And this is the part I'm sorry about." She glances down at her hands. "We've been seeing each on and off for about two years."

I may not be a math whiz, but that would put the beginning of their relationship around…

"WHAT?" I cry out. "While we were dating? You and Michael got together while we were still dating?"

"Maybe we should go," Mum says suddenly and nudges Dad. "Cutlery, cutlery, cutlery," she hisses and Dad grabs my silverwear.

When the door closes over, and the three of them leave, I glare at Elizabeth.

"Mum and Dad…they knew?" I glance down at my breakfast feeling sick. "Is this what this is all about?" I gesture at my plate.

"Yes," Elizabeth says. "I told them last month."

"And James…"

"Caught us two years ago. I told him it was a one time thing. He believed me…until he caught us again." She bows her head. "I'm so ashamed, Roe."

"How did this even happen?" I ask.

"It was at my Coming-Out Ball," she moans. "My date ditched me for someone else and I was crying in the garden and Michael came to comfort me…" She looks at me sadly. "The next thing I knew we were kissing and then we were…" She doesn't have to finish. I know what she means.

"How could you do this to me, Elizabeth? I'm your sister! _Your sister_!"

"How could I do this to you?" she cries. "How could you do that to me? Like you didn't know I had a huge crush on Michael, and there you were, flaunting it under my nose every chance you got! How do you think I felt to see my little sister dating the boy I've been in love with all my life? Do you have any idea what that feels like?"

I am taken aback by the bitterness etched in her voice and face.

"I didn't…I didn't know!" I cry. "If I had known I would never have—"

I didn't know that Elizabeth had liked Michael, I really didn't. Had I known I would have backed off within seconds, there is no doubt about it. Actually, I wouldn't have even thought about dating him because even if we didn't get along, she was my sister. There was a loyalty with blood that runs so much deeper than anything else in the world.

Michael and I had known each other kind of before we started dating. I knew that he was friends with my brother and sister and that he was actually only five months younger than them. In Hogwarts your birthday needs to be before September 1st for you to be put in a certain year. His is September 27th, so he was put in the Year after them. Still, he stayed friendly with both of my siblings and that was when I met him in the beginning of my First Year. He asked me out after we hung out at a party in Gryffindor in my Fourth Year and I only accepted because at the time he seemed nice and polite and sort of funny. I wish Elizabeth had said something to me. I would have declined…though, if Elizabeth had simply _told _Michael or anyone how she felt instead of cooping it up like a combustible freak, then he wouldn't have even asked me. No one would pick me over Elizabeth ever. There is no way in hell. It completely apparent right here in this little shit-fest. He cheated on me with Elizabeth. Constantly, apparently.

"It doesn't matter," Elizabeth says suddenly. She gazes at me. "I just need to know that you forgive me."

"Everyone knew?" I ask.

"Everyone knew," she confirms.

"And this is why James is acting so oddly towards me?"

"He knew I was going to tell you," she admits.

"He knew all this time," I say in disbelief. "Everyone knew and no one told me. No one told me not to bother, not to cry, not to waste my time on someone like Michael who only wanted my sister."

I feel an awful sensation wash over me as tears prick my eyes.

"Roe…" Elizabeth moves, as though to hug me, but I push my chair back.

"Don't you dare come near me!" I shout. "You stay the hell away from me. I don't ever want to talk to you again!"

"Oh, no, Roe…please," Elizabeth says, tears flowing down her cheeks. "Please, no."

"Do you know how I thought about myself? How I viewed myself because someone cheated on me? Do you know what that makes me feel like?"

She shakes her head sadly.

"I feel like shit sometimes!"

"But you have your new boyfriend!"

"And that makes it okay?" I bellow. "It makes it alright that you two fooled around behind my back? What kind of a monster are you?"

I am about to reach the door when she says, "But you said you would understand!" she cries in defeat.

"What?" I cry, wheeling around.

"Last night, you said that you would understand if you knew how we felt!"

Cold disbelief shoots through me. Did she really just…

"You're fucking unbelievable."

"Roe…You don't know how sorry I am!"

"Yeah. Alright. Congratulations, Elizabeth."

I turn on my heel and slam through the kitchen door.

"Roe…" Mum says, holding out her arms for me.

"Don't you touch me either! You knew and you never told me?" I turn to gaze at James, my head filled with bewilderment. "You knew all this time?"

"Roe…what was I supposed to do?" he asks dejectedly.

"Tell me!" I shout furiously. "I wasted two years of my life with Michael and he didn't even…" I am horror struck when I start to sob, anger and frustration seeping out of me.

"I'm sorry, Roe!"

"I hate all of you!" I scream. "I hate this fucking family!"

I get to my room as fast as I can and slam the door with all my might. A picture on my wall rattles and falls to the floor with a crash. I jump and turn towards it.

All my insecurities that my family has hated me, does hate me, suddenly resurface. What kind of people let their daughter stay with a boy who is cheating on her, just to appease another daughter? Of course, it was Elizabeth, their favorite.

I start to cry uncontrollably. It hurts, my body contorting to meet my rapid breathing and heaving.

How could I have been so stupid? I think to myself. When he came over during the summer he and Elizabeth would disappear all the time! I mean, yeah, it was only for twenty or thirty minutes, but still, I should have realized he wasn't here to see me.

I shake my head bitterly.

Suddenly almost every summer visit I received from Michael is under scrutiny. He would floo over and we'd kiss hello and then we'd hang out in the living room or the kitchen. Then, now that I think about it, almost like clockwork Elizabeth would come down after he was there almost fifteen or twenty minutes, say hello and go into the kitchen. Michael would ask her if she would help him with an assignment. They would go up to her room while I stayed downstairs, oblivious. Then they'd come down twenty, thirty, sometimes forty minutes later. He was always suddenly tired or distant and then he would leave.

What a fucking idiot I am! I should have realized it almost immediately. He wasn't there to see me! He hardly spent any time with me at all! He was there to see Elizabeth and Elizabeth only. That should have been obvious when he started spending time with her even when I wasn't there. I mean, I know they were friends and stuff, but they used to hang out with James, too, and then he stopped joining them. He must have realized what was going on and felt too uncomfortable to continue hanging out with them.

How could I have not known? I think desperately.

This house is too oppressive. I can't stay here any longer.

I can't go to Cole's, because he is with his parents today. He told me last night when he came to see me.

The only other person I can think of is Demi. She must hate me right now, what with the way I was talking to her, but she's the only person I can go to.

I arrive outside her house with a crack and stand on her front step for a full minute before I raise my hand and knock. It echoes in the silent street and I wait patiently.

"Hello, Roe!" Remus says. "Come on in." He steps aside and I hurry into the warmth of the living room. There is a fire crackling in the fireplace and the sound of Tonks bustling around in the kitchen. "Demi's up in her room."

"Thank you," I mutter and hurry up the steps, grateful he didn't notice my puffy eyes. Or, if he did notice them, he kept silent about it. That is tact.

I knock on Demi's door instead of bursting into the room as I usually do. I do not know what she is doing and though she normally wouldn't care what I saw her doing, I know that she is furious with me.

Her door opens.

"What do you…Roe, what's the matter?" Her furious expression instantly melts as she takes in the sight of my face. "Tell me what's the matter!" she cries nervously.

She wraps her arms around me and I begin to cry again. Big, gulpy breaths come out of my mouth as she guides us to her bed. She sits me down and continues to hug me, her hand coming to the back of my hair and stroking it.

"Are you using a new conditioner?" she asks me conversationally.

"Yes," I say wetly, "Tammy-Tangle-Free. It's really nice."

"It feels amazing. I bet you could get loads for hair like this."

"I never thought about that," I say and smile slightly. Demi always knows what to say that makes me feel better. I sniffle again.

"Shh, don't cry, Roe! I hate to see you cry! Do you want to tell me what's the matter?" she asks.

"Elizabeth and Michael are going to have a baby," I say with a sniffle. Demi stiffens against me. "They've been seeing each other for two years now. She was the one he was cheating on me with. My whole family knew and no one told me."

There is a stunned silence. Demi finally says, "Well, you just cry!" and holds me tighter.

An hour later and I have finally pried myself from Demi's comforting embrace. She ran downstairs and brought back comfort food. We eat cookies and drink cocoa. At one point Remus comes in and Demi bursts out, "Not now you, male!" and he quickly closed the door, quite used to Demi's outbursts.

"Do you want to sleep over?" Demi asks, handing me another tissue.

"Yes," I say and nod. Then, I am reminded of the task set in front of my tomorrow. "I mean no. I can't."

"What? Why?" Demi cries.

"Elizabeth's thing is tomorrow!" I say moodily. "I have to make the stupid speech!"

"Don't go!" Demi says immediately. "Or better yet, tell them every awful detail about her!"

I shake my head wearily. "I can't do that," I say. "I would love to, but I can't."

"Promise you'll come straight from the ceremony back here?"

"Yes, I promise." I sniffle. "Can I write a quick letter to Cole?"

"Of course. Let me go find Ares." She hops up and hurries from the room. A moment later and she returns with her owl. "Here you go."

"Thank you," I say and take it from her. "Hello, girl." I stroke the silky feathers and place her on Demi's footboard on her bed and scratch out a letter to Cole.

"What did you write him?" Demi asks after Ares has taken flight.

"I asked him if a year could turn into forever," I reply.

"Oh," she says, her brow furrowed. "Very sage."

"It's something he said last night," I whisper. "He'll understand."

I spend the rest of the afternoon with Demi, the sister I should have had, deserved to have had, but didn't. Once, Demi found a quote and we constantly use it: We're best friends because our mother's couldn't handle us as sisters.

"What are you going to do?" Demi asks me a while later as we paint our toenails.

I glance up at her and sigh. "I have no idea…" I shrug. "I'm just so angry at her!" I burst out. "Why did she do this to me?"

"Because she's an evil whore, Roe," Demi says immediately.

"I don't love Michael anymore, but I did, you know? And she completely sabotaged everything! I'm so embarrassed!" I begin to tear up again.

"If she never shagged Michael, then you never would have gotten together with Cole," Demi says suddenly. I turn to look at her in surprise, which she sees and says, "I don't want you to be so sad. Think of it like that."

"So I should be…happy?" I ask in disbelief.

"Abso-fucking-lutely not!" she cries. "Be mad. Be furious! Don't be sad. They are not worth your tears."

"You're right…" I smile at her.

OoOoOo

When I get home that night I walk through the empty living room and into my bedroom. I don't bother to close the door as I take off my socks and turn down my covers. I plop down, face first, onto my bed.

"Roe… Are you okay?"

I sit up quickly and turn around to face my sister. She's standing in the doorway with a hand on her stomach in an almost protective manner.

I don't answer her, so she asks another question.

"Are you going to bed?"

"Yes," I answer.

"I just wanted to say goodnight."

"Thanks," I reply somewhat harshly and get up and stride over to the window. I glance down but I can see nothing but my sister in the precise reflection in the window.

"Roe…I'm so sorry…"

"So I've heard."

"I just—"

"Listen, Elizabeth, I am in no mood to talk right now. Just leave me alone. I'll be ready by eight, like you asked."

I turn to her to see her face falter. "You're still coming and giving your speech?" she asks in a worried voice.

"Oh, don't worry," I say brightly. "Your dedication tomorrow will go off without a hitch. I'll say all the right things and I'll smile and say what a wonderful person you are. I'll pretend like everything's ok." I look her directly in the eye and say harshly, "But right now, tonight, I'm not going to pretend it's ok. It isn't ok. It will never be ok."

I watch as she lowers her eyes and then sadly, nods, and exits my room quickly and swiftly. Perfectly.

A/N Next chapter up soon! Hope this was as great as everyone hoped…


	18. Chapter 18

The next morning I oversleep. I didn't get much sleep last night, as I had been turning over thoughts in my head. Everything seemed to be all wrong that when I finally did open my eyes, James was leaving my room telling me to wake up, they would meet me at the Hall.

Last night, just before I finally retired into my bed, I saw Dad in the hallway, heading towards his room. I set my jaw when our eyes met.

"Goodnight, Roe," he said to me.

"Night," I replied coldly.

"About tomorrow…"

"I already told Elizabeth not to worry about it, I'd be there."

Dad was surprised. "Okay. If that's what you want."

"Yeah, _that's_ what I want," I snarled sarcastically and slammed my door shut as hard as I could.

Now I rush into the hall to find it packed with people. My heart is beating wildly, wondering if I missed my speech.

"Now, we have someone very close to our dear Elizabeth to give a speech…Rosemary Potter?"

I weasel my way through the crowd, slipping off my coat as I do. My hand goes into my pockets and I find my index cards covered with scribbles and writing. I take a deep breath and walk up to the podium. I turn to my right and see my parents giving me a sigh of relief. Elizabeth is sitting up at the grand table looking at me with fear in her eyes.

I get to the podium, give a gracious thanks to the wizard who begins the clapping for me. Turning towards the crowd is one of the scariest moments in my life, seeing all those eyes staring straight at me. I quickly glance back down at my cards to begin the speech.

"Erm…" I give a small cough into the silent, expectant hall. "I, er, I was asked to write a small speech about my sister, Elizabeth." I glance around the room. "I was supposed to talk about what a great person she is. Boy, can I tell you how hard that was!" There is a slightly awkward silence. Mum and Dad both drown their drinks in unison and I hurry to continue. "I didn't know where to start," I say quickly and the awkwardness instantly melts away. "How much time did you have to listen to all the wonderful qualities about my sister?" I turn to look at her now.

"Her warm heart. Her thoughtfulness. Her brilliance and her balance…"

My speech goes on for another five minutes. There is a fair share bit of laughter and at the end my applause is quite loud. I turn to look at Elizabeth to say one last thing, "And as hard as it might be to imagine, Elizabeth is all of these things. She's perfect."

Elizabeth isn't smiling. She's just looking at me.

I step down from the stage and walk straight to the bar, my eyes set on five or ten shots of firewhiskey. It is there that I feel someone tap my shoulder. I wheel around to see Elizabeth looking down at me.

"That was a really nice speech, Roe…thank you."

"Yeah, well," I say, "that was what I thought of you." She glances down and I stand up, grabbing my coat off my lap. I place my hand on her pregnant stomach. "And this is what you thought of me."

Her eyes widen in surprise and her mouth opens as though to speak, though nothing comes out from them.

"Goodbye, Elizabeth."

I pass my parents who are too busy talking to Elizabeth's boss to notice that I am currently escaping into the busy London streets. It doesn't matter, at any rate, if they told me to stay I'd still leave.

Perhaps on their own accord my feet begin to take me by Michael's apartment.

When I finally get to his apartment building I manage to hold the door for an old woman and then go in without having to alert Michael of my presence. I walk to the second flight and go the end of the hall.

I remember James informing Dad of Michael's new apartment some time over the summer when he was planning on staying in the city for the night. I hope he is still here and not somewhere else. Confrontation seeps from my very core.

When I get to the front of the door I raise my hand and knock twice. There is instant movement and then the door opens and I am greeted with the one and only Michael Lang.

"Roe…what are you doing here?" he asks, stepping aside to let me in. The second I walk across the threshold into his apartment I realize Elizabeth lives here. I can feel her presence from hours before. Her neat little touches are nestled everywhere.

"Is something the matter? With your…er, family?" He seems to catch himself from saying something.

"You mean my sister? Is anything wrong with my sister?" I ask calmly.

He looks at me sharply and shrugs. "I mean, sure, we're friends…Do you want something to drink? I don't think I have much…" He hurries into the kitchen, leaving me alone in the living room.

I glance at the couch, around to a coffee table littered with books and magazines. My eyes come to rest on an armchair near the fireplace. Nestled into the chair is a small, yet bright pillow.

I hear Michael come back as I walk to the chair and pick up the pillow to examine it.

"Here, I brought you some water, it was all I had…"

"Where did you get this?" I ask, showing him the pillow.

His face seems to freeze in the friendly face he's forced on. I can smell the heightened sense of worry emitting from him now.

"My parents brought it back from Russia."

"Wrong. I won it at a fair for Elizabeth when we were nine."

He swallows. "There's probably thousands of those."

"But they all don't have a letter E stitched into it," I say, showing it to him. "My mum showed me how to stitch in the E and I gave it to her as a present," I snarl, tossing the pillow back into the chair.

"Let me explain…"

"No. You don't need to explain. I know you cheated on me with Elizabeth. I also know about the baby, in case you're wondering. I just came to give my congratulations."

"Roe…"

"Goodbye, Michael."

"Roe!"

"What?" I snarl, turning around. "What could you possibly have to say to me?"

"Let's sit down. I want to explain—"

"There's no reason—"

"Please, Roe."

"No, Michael! I'm over it! I'm over the fact that you cheated and I'm over the fact that you were in love with Elizabeth during our entire relationship!"

I begin to walk to the door when Michael says, "You're one to talk about being in love with someone else during our relationship!"

"Excuse me?" I snap, turning around. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Cole Malfoy."

My cheeks blush a deep, rose red. "I don't see how he has—"

"You can say I'm an arse for being in love with Elizabeth, but you weren't so innocent yourself."

"I never cheated on you with Cole."

"But you would have if you could."  
I open my mouth and close it again, my defense lost completely. I can not pretend that he is wrong, because he isn't wrong. If Cole had kissed me even once when I was with Michael I would have completely lost it, like I did in the coatroom. I wouldn't have been able to control myself.

I blush even redder.

"That isn't the point."

"Isn't it that one of us had more self-control than the other?" he asks.

"If you were so in _love_ with Elizabeth," I ask furiously, "why did you constantly ask for blowjobs?"

"I wanted you to break up with me."

His answer was simple. It was straight to the point. He didn't lie, he didn't make it less or more than it was.

It still stung worse than anything else in the entire world.

"What?" I ask in disbelief.

"I thought if I continued to pester you enough than you would—"

"Michael!" I shout. "That's so…What the hell is the matter with you?" I scream. I reach for something to throw, but all that meets my hands is a pillow, which bounces off him with ease.

He cringes. "Listen, let me explain!"

"Absolutely not!" I cry, ready for the door.

"Roe, please!" He catches my arm and I turn in a huff. "If not for my sake than for Elizabeth's sake. I think you should hear the whole story."

I clench my jaw, wondering if I should hear it or not.

"Talk fast," I say finally.

"Thank you," Michael says gratefully.

"Faster."

He leads me to the couch and then sits across from me.

"We didn't plan to cheat on you, Roe. Neither of us wanted it to happen. It just did." He pauses. "We were best friends. We've known each other for ages. My dad and your dad work in the same department. The three of us, Elizabeth, James and I, were the best of friends. I never felt anything more than platonic, friendly feelings towards Elizabeth…until her Coming Out Ball."

In spite of myself, I find myself sitting forward in interest.

"Her date was a complete arse and ditched her midway through. She caught him kissing some girl against the wall outside the Hall. Naturally, I went outside to see where she had gone and saw her crying…For some time I had been feeling…er, differently about her." He quickly glances at me to see if that's alright for him to say. "I couldn't stop thinking about her. She was always in my mind no matter what I was doing. I could barely stand to be around her. Everything drove me crazy about her."

I watch as his eyes suddenly became a bit dazed as though he's thinking about her right now. I find myself wondering what will happen next in the Michael/Elizabeth saga.

"I comforted her," he continues. "I said all the right things and the next thing I knew…I kissed her. She pulled away, but a second later we were kissing again. It was like everything I had ever dreamed it was, only better." Again, he pauses. "That was the night we…er…"

"Shagged," I supplied for him.

"Right," he says, hurrying forward. "We were both virgins and it was awkward, but it seemed right. We had known each other for such a long time that it seemed as though we already knew what the other wanted.

"After that it got really bad. We told each other it was a one time thing. It meant nothing and you didn't need to know about it. I was drunk and she was upset. That was it. But then…it happened again. I came over to ask her for help on an assignment. The next thing I know we're shagging against her wall."

"Michael!" I cry. "That's my sister!"

"Sorry!" he says, coloring. "Can I continue?"

"Yes," I find myself saying.

"Again we told each other it would never happen again. But it did. It was like we couldn't stop ourselves. As awful as this sounds, I didn't think of you. Not because I didn't care," he says pointedly, "but because I couldn't let myself think about you. I know I did love you, but not the way I loved Elizabeth.

"And then one day while we were home alone James walked in on us. He was furious with the both of us and threatened to tell you. Elizabeth begged him not to. I begged him not to. We told him it was a one time thing…He agreed, but we still haven't talked since. He said it was too uncomfortable to be around me." Michael looks at me sadly. "Elizabeth promised that he'd come around…and then he caught us again…" He takes a second to form his thoughts.

"She began dating someone from her office, as a distraction she told me, and I continued to date you. School began and I was able to pretend that the summer had never occurred. Elizabeth broke things off with me and told me that we could never do it again. She refused to talk to me or to see me. Finally, I began to get over her.

"It went fine until the Hogsmede visits began. She owled me a week before then and told me we had to talk.

"I went, fearing what had happened would happen again. But she didn't seem interested in shagging. She wanted to make sure I hadn't told you and that I was treating you well enough. I said I was. When we finished lunch, she stood and we hugged as friends…but I kissed her. It seemed such an immediate response and I couldn't help myself.

"She kissed me back, as passionately as I could have hoped for. When we pulled away the two of us stood there for minutes. I tried to gather some self-control, to stop myself from kissing her again. I didn't have much self-control, however, and we wound up in a room.

"Elizabeth stopped me, just before…er, the act. She began crying and told me that we couldn't do it anymore. I agreed, but as soon as I said it, she began to cry even harder. She told me she loved me and wanted to be with me. I informed her that I felt the same way. I wanted to march straight back to school and break things off with you…but she stopped me again and begged me not to do that. She said she didn't want you to be hurt because of it, that it had to be your decision."

"So blowjobs were the obvious choice," I bark.

He looks at me guiltily. "I didn't know what to do! I didn't think I could become more obnoxious. I started calling you Rosemary, because I know you hate it. I got pompous and rude…nothing seemed to work! Honestly, Roe, I didn't think you'd give me a blowjob. You can't understand my horror when you agreed."

Instantly, the memory of the first blowjob comes back to me. I do remember he had been incredibly rude about it and when I agreed, his face fell. I thought he was just anxious to get one. By the time I got down to the actual job he was completely silent. His jaw was set. He clenched his eyes closed and clenched his fists next to his legs. When I was done I expected him to smile at me or thank me…anything.

He basically pushed me off and turned on his side away from me. He refused to talk to me or make any eye contact whatsoever.

"Did Elizabeth know?" I ask.

"Not at first," he replies. "She refused to see me until we were officially broken up. She reminded me again that I had to be gentle. She didn't want you hurt. I confessed what had happened." He cringes at the memory. "She went ballistic. I've never seen her so furious in my entire life. It was over Christmas break and she Apparated within minutes of me telling her. This is from her," he says and points at the scar on his head. "She flung a lamp at me.

"She told me I was not to make you do something like that, that it was wrong. I promised I wouldn't do it, but I had to try just one more time. I thought you wouldn't do it again because of the first time…but you did."

In our entire relationship, I gave Michael five blowjobs. The first two was when I was sober, the second two when I was drunk, and the fifth on his birthday. It would have been six, but I had to meet Demi that fateful day.

"I was getting desperate," he tells me, "and then I saw the perfect opportunity." He looks at me again and this time I don't break eye contact. "Bree Harris started to flirt with me as soon as my Seventh Year started. When I provoked that fight in March, I already had the perfect plan, I just needed you to say the right things. You did."

I watch him carefully.

"Bree didn't want to have sex with me. She wanted to be able to tell her friends that she had sex with me. It was perfect. We both agreed. You ended it just as I hoped. In case you're wondering, I did feel immense guilt that night, knowing what I was going to do to you in the morning. I agonized over whether you would be alright…I knew you were only half in love with me, or not even in love with me, by that time…

"The next morning I saw you sitting in the armchair and I went to you. I have never been more nervous about anything in my entire life. I'm surprised you didn't hear the quiver in my voice, that you believed me. You were as angry as I had hoped…and then you broke up with me.

"I felt another surge of guilt. I felt as though I were the worst person on the planet. The thought that you would ever find out made me want to vomit. I couldn't stand the thought of you hurt. I do love you, Roe, you must believe that. I just don't love you like that."

"Like a sister," I say.

"Right." He nods. "But I was happy it was over."

"But you brought me those flowers…" I recall.

"I _brought_ them to you," Michael says. "They weren't from me. They were from Elizabeth. I only said I wanted you back just to cement that you didn't. She bought you the flowers and sent them to me to give you."

"Oh…" I say numbly.

"We didn't get together right away…Elizabeth still felt way too guilty to even look at me. I wrote to her constantly until she agreed to see me. She was a mess. But then I told her you weren't heartbroken. You were furious at me, but you weren't heartbroken. I then confessed everything I had to do.

"She sat and she listened, but she was just as angry. It took another month for her to forgive me. And then we started dating, really started dating, that is. I saw her every chance I got. Graduation couldn't have come sooner. The first thing I did was buy my own place. We began dating…Then she told me the most curious thing…" He suddenly turns to me with a slight smile on his face. "She told me that you and I were dating again."

I blush furiously.

"She didn't believe you, though." I look at him questioningly. "On the morning you said we were together, she and I were together. She knew it must have been someone else. So, she played along with it. And when the Coming Out Ball notice came, she convinced me to take you.

"Things got serious between us. I knew I was more in love with her than ever before. I wanted her to be around every single day…I asked her to move in with me and she agreed. She found out she was pregnant two months ago…" A smile suddenly comes onto his face and when he sees I see it, he quickly drops it. "Roe, we really love each other. We let it get the better of ourselves…but I love her more than anything else in the world. You have to understand that."

"Why did you even date me?" I ask furiously.

"I don't know…You were cute and you laughed at all my jokes…and I think you reminded me of Elizabeth…"

I sit back and digest everything. I rake a hand through my hair and close my eyes. When I open them again, I see that Michael is staring at me expectantly.

"Is everything you just said to me true?" I demand. "Every single pause, every minute detail down to what underwear she was wearing? Is everything true?"

"Yes."

"Are you telling the truth?" I ask.

"Yes."

"Promise?"

"Yes, Roe!" he says.

"Damn it," I curse and fall back against the seat cushions. He just made it that much harder to hate her. "Fucking arse!" I cry angrily.

"What?" he asks.

"You've just made it near impossible to hate the both of you, you fucking jerk!"

Immense relief seems to come over his face as I stand suddenly.

"Does that mean you're going to forgive her?" he asks hopefully.

I am at the door when I turn to him. After a moment I say, "Just…give me time. Tell her to give me time. I'll forgive her sooner or later." I open the door. "You, too, you jackass."

"Bye, Roe."

"Whatever," I say and close the door over.

With as much lingering anger as I can muster, I head home.

OoOoOo

I go straight to Cole's and tell him the whole story. He listens as I vent and complain. I manage to retain some anger, though it takes more and more effort to recall it.

"You're sister really is a bitch," Cole says to me.

"Yes," I say wistfully. "A pregnant bitch now."

"Are you alright?" he asks, putting his arm around me and kissing me on the forehead.

"I am now," I say and kiss him back. "You know, it's just six months until our little trip." I get a tingly, happy feeling at the thought of being alone with him for a whole year.

"I hope you're brushing up on some languages," Cole says.

"Si," I reply. "Although, the only thing you really have to know in any language is 'I come from money.'"

"And when they find out you have a million knuts, they'll what? Escort you to the Muggle banks for convert it?"

I sniff.

Cole and I sit for an hour against his bed, talking about the next six months and how they'll drag on and on and on.

Draco isn't mad at us. He wished we didn't lie, and he isn't pleased that we're dating, let alone that his only son chose a Potter to shag, but he wouldn't try and break us up. He isn't going to tell and he wishes us the best. He does, however, caution us at keeping it a secret for much longer.

"Thank you," I say to Cole some time later. His arm is over my shoulder and our fingers are intertwined together as we hold hands.

"For what?" he asks.

"I haven't thought about Elizabeth or Michael or Bastard Baby once."

"Did you just call your unborn niece of nephew 'Bastard Baby'?" he asks in disbelief.

I smile brightly at him. "Do you like it?"

He kisses my head and mutters, "How do you survive in public?"

"And I love you," I snap moodily.

He kisses my head and we resume our discussion about what to bring on our trip and what excuses will do well with my parents. As Draco already knows we are dating, Cole thinks his father will help with keeping Pansy's curiosity at bay as to where he is going. It will not be as easy with me, though.

"Tell them you're studying abroad," Cole suggests.

"I don't even study at home! They'll never believe that."

Cole frowns in thought.

"We'll think of something," he says.

"And if not…I'll just leave."

"No." Cole looks down at me firmly. "You must tell your parents where we're going."

"So they don't worry?"

"No, so I don't get thrown into some foreign wizard prison for kidnapping," Cole replies seriously, but I see the corner of his mouth twitch.

"Right. That would put a wrench in the lovemaking."

"Ri—What?"

"Well, what else am I supposed to do in all these foreign countries?" I ask, gesturing at the map at his feet.

"Um, I don't know? Explore," he says in disbelief. "My God, you are one randy bastard!"

I hit him in the arm as he laughs and settle back down in a huff. "Well, if I'm venturing out in any type of foreign country I want mucho sunscreen and bug spray."

"Done," Cole replies and kisses my head. "And just so you don't worry, there will be plenty of love making."

"We'll see," I say in a clipped tone, though he catches me as the corner of my mouth turns up in a slight smile.

OoOoOo

When I get home that night it is to an empty house. I stop short as I hear familiar, yet unwanted, voices from the living room. I look in the room in horror and fury as I realize Elizabeth and Michael are sitting on the couches together.

I hear a grand sniffle from Elizabeth. Michael guides her head onto his shoulders and kisses the top of it.

"It's going to be alright," he tells her.

"No, it isn't," she tells him in return. "We're not nice people! I'm not a nice person!"

"Of course you are!"

"I'm really not," Elizabeth says mournfully. "I spent most of my time at Hogwarts hating her because of something she didn't know, couldn't control. And then, to top that off, I fuck around with her boyfriend and get pregnant!"

"We weren't…" Michael seems to be struggling for the correct words. "It felt right."

"But it wasn't," Elizabeth says softly. I lean in to further hear her. "My parents will barely talk to me and James is furious with me and Roe…well, she's never going to talk to me again and I can't even blame her! I wouldn't talk to me."

"She will."

"She won't." Elizabeth's firm, confident tone seems to register with Michael, who very well knows how stubborn I can be.

I am ready to walk away and remain just as angry, and just as furious as I was when I walked into the room, when everything turns ass-backwards.

"Please don't cry," Michael begs her. "I love you so much." He kisses the top of her head. "And despite what you think…I believe Roe will forgive, at the least, you."

Elizabeth looks up at him, hopefully. "Why?"

"She's a good person," he tells her. "A better person than either of us could ever hope to be. Just give her time, Elizabeth."

"She has no idea how I felt! She looks at me as though I wanted to hurt her, as though it were my plan all along!"

"No she doesn't," Michael says. "She's just upset."

"True," Elizabeth admits. "I just…" Her voice seems to quiver again. "I wish it had been me first and then we wouldn't be in this mess. You have no idea what it was like!"

Michael glances over at her. "And you have no idea what it was like for me," he tells her. She gives him a questioning look. "I didn't know what to do! One day you're just Elizabeth, probably my best friend in the entire world. The next day…" He pauses and swallows thickly. "The next you're someone completely different. I couldn't believe myself. All I could think about was you. I couldn't get you out of my head. I was horrified. Here I was, dating your little sister, and all I could think of was what it would be like to kiss you instead. And then when I did…" He lets out a shaky breath.

"What?" she asks. I can tell they've never talked about this type of stuff.

"I knew it had to be you. Something wasn't right with Roe, I could never put my finger on what it was…until that kiss. She wasn't what I wanted. You were what I wanted." He picks up her hand and looks into her eyes. "And that was when I tried to break things off with her."

"And I feel guilty for that, too!"

"Elizabeth…she came to see me today."

I cringe as Elizabeth yelps, "What?"

"Around noon. She wanted to yell at me, I think, but I managed to get her to sit down and listen to me."

"What did you tell her?" Elizabeth demands.

"Everything."

"Michael!" Elizabeth cries.

"She had to understand that we didn't want to hurt her. That it wasn't as though we ignored her feelings."

"Did she…How did she take it?"

"Just…give her time…"

Michael kisses Elizabeth again. She rubs her nose against his and smiles slightly.

"I can finally feel a little bump," Michael tells her. He puts his hand on her stomach and smiles broadly up at her. He sighs and then says brightly, "I can't imagine we did anything so bad that this baby is coming along. If we weren't meant to get pregnant, then we wouldn't be pregnant."

Elizabeth places her hand on top of his. "Maybe…"

Michael rubs it happily and then bends down to kiss it, then kisses Elizabeth. She giggles when they break away and Michael places his hand back on the baby.

I back away. With horror I realize the last of my fury with them is slowly leaking from my body. I desperately try to cling to it. I want to stay mad at her!

_They cheated they cheated they cheated!_ I mentally scream at myself, but it does no good. I feel, if at all possible, sympathy.

As I arrive back in my room I finally feel anger again, at myself.

"You stupid witch," I say furiously to myself, "be angry!"

I conjure up an image of Elizabeth and Michael sneaking away to her room, but it is overshadowed by the look of utter joy on his face when he places a hand on her pregnant stomach.

I growl in defeat. Why am I such a good fucking person?

I can not deny that the words Michael spoke today have touched me. Everything seems completely different. Another, stronger, emotion moves its way into my heart and sarcastically waves goodbye to the anger and fury. I am…happy for them. I'm still angry at them, obviously, but I am also happy for them. It'll be a while before I can really, fully forgive them.

Well, I still hope the baby is huge.

OoOoOo

By the time the end of break comes around I am more than happy to get the hell out of my house. It is currently the night before and I am tossing everything into my trunk, ready to leave tonight if I have to.

I hear the knock at my door but I continue anyways, as though I don't hear it. Frankly, no one has really spoken to me since Elizabeth's revelation, apart from James, and I am more than happy to keep it that way.

"Roe?"

"I didn't say come in," I snap furiously. I throw a shoe into the trunk and try to keep from turning around.

James sits down on my bed, directly in my line of vision.

"I just wanted to clear a few things up before you go off to school tomorrow," James informs me.

"Not you, too!" I cry out angrily. "Are you having a baby with Michael also? I don't think I have enough joy in my body for two bastard children in the family."

"You're funny," he replies.

"I try."

"Mum and Dad knew Elizabeth was pregnant," James says, "but not by who. They didn't know until the day before you did. And let me be the first to say they weren't happy about it. They kept nothing from you, Roe."

I clench my jaw, determined not to break my icy façade.

"But you did," I snap at him. "You've known for two years and you said nothing."

"In case you've forgotten, I also know about you and Cole," James snaps. "And when Mum and Dad find out—which they will, by the way—they will say the exact same thing to me. They will be furious that I knew all this time." He pauses. "But I am not going to tell them because it isn't mine to tell. So you can be mad at me all you want, but you and Elizabeth were in the same position."

I clench my jaw, if possible, even tighter. Stupid git has a point.

"Perhaps it was different, and I should have told you, but Elizabeth made me promise." He hands me a shoe.

I open my mouth to yell at him, but find myself saying, "It's okay, James."

"Roe, I said I was—What?"

I exhale deeply and say, "I forgive you for not telling me. I…I understand why you didn't tell me."

"Oh…okay." He seems a bit put out. "I had a big long speech all planned out and everything."

"Sorry," I reply. "Now, get off of my bed. I'm going to sleep."

"Do you forgive Mum and Dad?" he asks.

"Yes," I reply exhausted.

"And Elizabeth?"

I stop and turn to him. "I hated her last night and I hated her this morning…I went to talk to Michael…and now I don't hate her anymore. I'm still angry and I still hope she has a twenty pound baby…but I don't hate her anymore. The one time I get an excuse to be furious at her and I can't even muster it! The one time!"

"You'll get over it," James says and then kisses the top of my head. He has never done that to me before.

"James!" I wail.

Then he hugs me.

"Get off of me!" I cry. "Go to Alice with those types of emotion and leave me alone!"

"I love you, Roe."

"Yeah, thanks," I say, smoothing down my shirt. "Goodnight," I say dismissively and he smirks at me before closing the door.

But I can't sleep. No matter how many times I close my eyes, they only pop open again to stare at my ceiling. Normally I would love this, but I want to sleep tonight, not lay away until four in the morning.

I slide out of bed and head downstairs for something to drink when I see a fire crackling in the dining room and the top of Mum's head from the couch.

"Mum?" I ask quietly, creeping into the room.

She turns sharply and, upon seeing it was me, says, "Oh, Roe, you came home!" She looks mildly surprised. "Are you going to bed?"

"Yeah," I say, glancing down at the books in her lap. "What are you looking at?"

"Oh," Mum says, glancing down at them as well, "just some old family photographs. Do you want to look at them with me?"

"Sure," I say warmly, slipping my shoes off and sitting next to my mother. She instantly tucks me under the throw blanket and hands me my own book.

I open it slowly and see it is as all the albums are: completely disorganized and random. One never knows what years are strung together in which book, which is how Mum likes it. At first, when Aunt Hermione compiled all of these for us, they were one for each of us. Mum thought that was too confusing, especially as there are many with all three of us, so she rearranged them as she thought they would make better sense. Now they're random.

I flip the pages and then stop when I come to what looks to be James and Elizabeth just after they were born. Already you could tell their differences. They weren't even lying near each other on the blanket, with Elizabeth rolled away from James and he the same.

Usually twins are supposed to be closer than normal siblings because they shared a womb for nine months. Not my siblings. I can honestly say it must have been torture for them to be cooped together for such a long amount of time. They could hardly stand to be around each other as it was and the thought that they were lying on top of one another is kind of funny.

I touch the pictures of the sleeping babies and gaze down at them with a sharp eye. Elizabeth already had her red hair that hung is loose curls around the top of her head. I bet if she opened her eyes they would have been bright green…or about to be bright green.

James had the rich black hair that was sticking up all over the place. Unlike Elizabeth, who was sleeping soundly and peacefully, he was kicking his arms and legs around as though trying to escape something. His little face was scrunched up in anger. A moment later a calm hand, probably Dad's, came down to rub his arm and he subsided almost immediately.

"Mum, why did you decide to have James and Elizabeth?" I ask

"Well," Mum says thoughtfully, "we didn't plan for them. They were a complete surprise for us."

"A mistake, you mean?" I ask quickly.

"Er, if you want to look at it that way," Mum says evasively. "What twenty-year old decides to get pregnant on her second anniversary? Not this one, that's for sure." She picks up another stack of photos. "Your father took me for this wonderful little weekend on the coast of Ireland. Of course, we ended up staying far longer then we planned. You know how he is. I found out as soon as we got back. I had been sick for a long time and thought it was some bad seafood."

"How long was your vacation?" I ask.

"Three months," she replies. "Look at this one. You kids looked so happy here…oh, wait, that isn't you." She squints at it and flips a page quickly. She suddenly turns back to me and realizes I want to go on along with this conversation. "Well, I was a bit shocked, to say the least. I had planned years with just your father and me together with just the two of us…Alas, that wasn't to be."

"What about me? Another mistaken pregnancy?" I ask with a smile.

"No, no, no," Mum says, looking at me oddly. "We tried for five months to conceive you, kiddo."

"Wait, what?" I splutter.

"Oh, Roe! Surely you knew at least that much?" Mum snaps. When I shake my head no she sighs. "Well, we had Elizabeth and we had James, but Dad wanted another. He said that a boy and a girl were nice, but three was a nice number. Dad wanted to give them a brother or a sister."

"Oh," I say dumbly.

"You're surprised?" Mum asks.

"Well," I say, "I always just assumed…"

"What? That we made the mistake with you?" Mum gives me another weird look and places the pictures in her hands back in the box. "Hate to break it to you, Roe, but we very much wanted you. Dad and I tried every month for another child and we were so happy when it was positive."

She goes back to her photos and leaves me lost in thought for a good twenty minutes. It seems as though almost everything I've ever thought about my life is somewhat different. I wasn't the mistake, Elizabeth was. Mum and Dad wanted me…but they got stuck with Elizabeth. The thought is very…_liberating_.

"Well, how did you name me?" I ask.

Mum glances up at me. "Erm…Oh, I don't know. I don't think we could decide so we just picked something at random. We landed on Abigail, which I liked, but then Dad suddenly decided it had to be Rosemary. I don't particularly like Rosemary, so we call you Roe."

That sounds more like it.

Mum sighs heavily as she comes to a particular page. I lean over to see which one it is and find myself looking Elizabeth and me holding hands. She must have been five or six judging by how old I looked. How I wish I could go back to that time when a fight between us was over nothing more than a stuffed animal.

"Mum, I know you Dad didn't know any more than I did," I say to her.

She nods. "Roe, can I just say something?"

"Sure."

"I knew Elizabeth liked Michael for a long time. She came to me one night over Christmas vacation, sobbing, and told me he asked you out. I didn't think they would…well…I should have been more careful with her. James I have no control over anymore. He thinks I am the stupidest person on the planet."

"What?" I ask, breaking away from my thoughts on what she has told me about Elizabeth. "What do you mean?"

"Like I'm not supposed to know when he brings a girl into my house?" I ask. "For the love of Merlin, I did his laundry up until this summer when he moved out! With the number of bras I found under his bed it's a surprise he hasn't fathered several dozen children by now!"

"You know and you don't say anything?" I ask.

"Like what? 'Oh, James, please, dear, don't shag someone on the new sheets I put on your bed!' He'd be mortified."

"Dad knows, too?" I ask.

"Of course. We're not stupid. We know more than we let on."

Her words cause me to stall in my movements.

"Oh? Like what?" I ask innocently.

"I knew Elizabeth was seeing someone this summer…just not Michael. What an awful mess… Will you ever—"

"I don't know. Probably," I reply. "I love you, Mum."

Mum smiles happily at me and pulls me closer to her. She kisses the top of my head and continues to flip through some photo albums.

"Oh, here's a nice picture."

I glance at it. "When's that from?" I ask.

"Easter, I think, when you were three. Grandma made that dress for you. And the hat. I bought the purse one day while I was out. You were so cute! This is Dad's favorite picture of you, you know…"

"I didn't know that!" I say.

Mum nods. "Oh, look at the time…Let's go to bed."

"Alright," I reply, feeling a bit more tired. "I love you."

"And I love you," she says. We head up the stairs and she comes into my room and tucks me in. "Sleep tight, Roe."

"I'll try," I reply.

OoOoOo

We rush around again in the morning, but this time Mum isn't as late as she usually is. I quickly give James a one-armed hug as I tug on my shoes. We are at the door when I catch sigh of Elizabeth standing in the hallway watching us. Dad and Mum are busy trying to drag my trunk into the car through all the snow to notice.

"Bye, Roe," she says timidly.

"Bye," I say.

I am at the door, prepared to walk away without a backwards glance, to let her stew for the next six months, but my feet won't let me leave. I turn back to her.

My feet begin to move and I walk towards her and hug her. She seems too surprised to react in time and I release her and then kiss her cheek.

"I'll see you in June," I say and walk from the house. As soon as the cold air strikes my face I feel as though all the bad energy has gone from my body.

I'm still angry at her and a part of me will never forgive her, but she doesn't deserve to be in so much pain while she's pregnant. I'll resume being furious after the baby.

"Ready to go back to school?" Dad asks, glancing at me in the rearview mirror. I see that he is wearing the new glasses I bought him for Christmas. They make him look five years younger.

I beam at him.

"Yes."

A/N The next chapter will take place at graduation…


	19. Chapter 19

"You did _what_?" Demi had screamed when I told her. "You forgave them? Just like that? You didn't make them…"

"What? Get down on all fours with a red rubber ball in their mouths?" I asked, arching an eyebrow. "No. I am trying to be a better person."

"Why?" She asked. She seemed genuinely devastated.

"Because…" I replied weakly. I didn't really want to think about why I was letting them off the hook because I feared I would find no other reason other than I felt some sympathy for them and then I would be back to hating them. It was very unhealthy.

"You are so stupid!" Demi had bellowed then. "Don't you want revenge? Don't you want them to pay for what they did to you?"

I stared at her in shock. "For the love of Merlin, Demi! What was I supposed to do? He cheated on me. She…well, she assisted him in cheating on me. They aren't nice people, but I'm trying to get over it. I want this all behind me."

"No!" she cried. "Write her a letter and tell her you're furious. Don't you respect yourself enough to do that? Don't you want them to know that they hurt you? What the hell is the matter with you?"

"I am trying to be a better person, Demi!" I screamed back, my face turning red. "I am trying to not let this ruin the rest of my fucking life! I don't want to feel bad and I don't want to be furious with them! I just wanted to enjoy my holiday season!" My throat burned as I finished. "I want to be the better person," I said in a calmer voice. Both Frank and Demi had been subdued then.

And for all of January I was able to keep that frame of mind.

But by February my mood had soured. It was then that I got the letter from Mum and Dad. Demi had intercepted it.

"Let me just make sure it's alright for you…" She ripped it open and her eyes scanned the page.

"Well?" I asked wearily.

"Nothing," she said brightly, folding it back up and putting it in the envelope. "No news. Nothing important." She gave me a huge smile.

"Give me the letter," I said firmly, extending my hand.

Her face fell as she handed it to me. I opened it and let my eyes scan down the page. It basically contained normal, every day occurrences until Mum informed me that Michael and Elizabeth eloped two weeks ago.

"They got married," I said out loud and closed the letter. "How nice."

And by April I was back to being near furious at them again. Demi was pleased.

OoOoOo

Winter faded out rather quickly leaving us with a wet, enjoyable spring time. I enjoyed going down to the lake and lying on the shore with a book to read. Lately everything I do is to keep my returned anger for getting the better of me. I'm sure stifling it doesn't do any better. Oh well.

"This one? Or _this_ one?" Demi asks, holding up two dresses. She is peering at herself in our dormitory mirror, but every once in a while she'll glance up at me for an opinion. "Roe, please concentrate! This is what I'll be wearing when I walk across stage to accept my diploma. This is what I'll be wearing when I really, fully become an adult! When the world sees me as a full grown witch!" Her cheeks are tinged with color, her voice rose with each word and her eyes were bright with color.

"Calm down. You're going to hyperventilate again."

"Right," she says, and turns back to the mirror.

"Wear the blue dress. It makes you look taller."

"The blue?" Demi asks critically.

"Oh, Demi, what does it matter?" I burst out wearily. "You'll be wearing your school robes over the dress anyways! No one will know what you're wearing!"

"I will!" she retorts. "I'm wearing the pink."

"Awesome."

I've had my dress picked out for weeks now. I saw it in a catalogue Demi was flipping through and knew it was my dress almost immediately. I ordered it and it arrived three days ago.

Demi pulls on her dress and examines herself critically.

"Put your dress on. I want to see what I look like next to you."

I sigh, but get up and tug my dress from beneath my uniform for the morning. I turn, my back towards Demi, and tug the dress up my body.

"You have to zip me up," I say to her.

"Sure," she says and comes to the back of me. Her hands reach out and I hear and feel the zipper slip up my body.

We both turn back to the mirror to examine ourselves. Demi's dress is a soft pink color. It's strapless and sparkly. It makes her dark eyes and hair seem softer and her usually pale skin shine. She looks stunning and I tell her so.

"Not compared to you," she breathes. "It was like that dress was made for you!"

I look at it critically. It's also strapless. It's a rich sapphire blue color. It comes to just above my knees. It has a bit of a corset feel on the top and then floats out for the skirt.

"Too bad we already have boyfriends," she says to me, "we could have gotten _laid_!"

"I have a boyfriend," I remind her. "You have a fiancé."

"Oh, yes, him," she says and then smiles. "That reminds me. I have an early birthday present for you."

"My birthday isn't for a week!" I say.

"I know but graduation is tomorrow and…well, this is a little present for you. I think you'll like them."

"You bought my puppies!" I say happily.

"Yes, I bought you puppies. I also shoved them into a jewelry box."

"There's organizations for people like you," I mutter. I open the box and gasp, "Holy shit, Demi!"

"Do you like them?"

"I can't wear these!"

"They'll look beautiful with your dress!" she snaps. "Put them on."

"Oh my God," I breathe as she hands me the two sapphire earrings.

"Now mind you, they cost enough that if you loose them you owe me your first born, and they aren't mine, they're my mother's, but I want you to wear them for graduation."

"Where did Tonks get such gorgeous…" I ask in a whisper.

"They were my grandmother's and so forth backwards," she explains as I place them on my ears. "There. You officially look stunning. Thanks to me, that is."

"Of course," I reply dutifully.

OoOoOo

I am sitting in the bright sunlight waiting for my name to be called and feeling as though seventeen years, almost eighteen years, of my life has been coming to this one point. Everything I have worked half assed for is for this moment. For when I receive my diploma. It used to seem so daunting and scary, to walk across the stage in front of everyone you love and accept a piece of paper that tells you you didn't fuck up at Hogwarts as much as you might have thought.

And then when I McGonogall begin with the Ps my heartbeat accelerates. Demi, sitting five rows in front of me and four seats over, cranes her neck around the smile at me.

"This is scary, right?" I hear to my right.

"Yes."

"It's okay to feel as though my stomach is about to drop onto my feet?"

"Definitely."

"Okay…good. Thank you."

"You're welcome, Lila," I say, never turning to look at her.

"Matilda Patterson!" I hear and then much applause.

And then, finally, it gets to me.

"Rosemary Potter!"

I manage to stand, my legs feeling rather weak, aware that all eyes are on me at the moment. I walk to the stage and up the five steps without tripping and falling on my ass. I stride across the stage confidently and get to McGonogall.

"Congratulations, Miss Potter," she says to me. And then she hands me my diploma and shakes my hand…and that's it. It's over. I'm free.

With a wide smile on my face I turn back to the crowd, all of them clapping, smile and walk off the stage, back to my seat just as I hear, "Lila Post!"

I sit back in my seat and watch Lila walking to the stage. I want to tell her that it isn't as scary as you think, but she's just about to find that our for herself.

OoOoOo

"Oh, Roe!" Mum says with delight. "Let me see it." I hand it over to her and she jumps with joy. "You graduated!" she says with delight. "I am so proud of you."

Dad wraps me in his arms. "I'm proud of you, Roe."

A small tinge of guilt seeps into me as I think about what I am going to tell them tomorrow. I have decided, with so much happiness on their part as my cushion, that I am going to tell them about Cole and me.

"Thanks, Dad," I say softly.

"Are you spending the night at Demi's?" Mum asks.

"Yes. But I'll be home for a breakfast tomorrow."

"Okay."

We take pictures and James, Mum, Dad and I ignore Elizabeth's absence. Demi and I hug and scream and jump around and try to believe that it's over. We packed our things last night and they are waiting to take us home on the train, but I am not going on train.

Dad has my stuff shrunken in his pocket.

I spot Cole standing off to the side, his green robes twinkling in the twilight. I beam over at him and he smiles back at me.

"Mum, we're going to head out."

"Roe, we're going to be at your grandparents for the night. If you need anything just come to us."

"I know, Mum. I will."

"Kiss me." I do so. "I've never been more proud of you in my entire life!"

I am genuinely touched. "Thank you, Mum."

She smiles at me. "Let's go, Potter. Let's let the kids have their fun…"

"Don't have too much fun," Dad warns. "Do I have to repeat the story about the girl who had too much fun and booze and sex and wound up a potted plant?"

"Not now, maybe later, though. It always puts me in a better mood." I kiss his cheek. "Don't worry, Dad, I won't do anything irrational."

"I know. I trust you."

My smile falters slightly, but then he and Mum leave Demi, Frank and I to dance around where we stand, completely free.

"I'm going to go congratulate Cole. I'll talk to you tomorrow." I hug Demi and then Frank. "Later, gators."

"Buh-bye, dear heart," she says to me.

"See you later, Roe."

I wave behind my back and head over to Cole who is waiting patiently for me. As soon as I get close enough I run and leap into his arms, laughing in delight.

"We're officially adults," I say in delight.

"Free from school!"

"On to a life of working in a job we hate!"

"But first…take a walk with me," Cole suggests.

"Sure."

So we walk until we get to a quiet, deserted place almost on the boundary of the Hogwarts grounds.

"Where are you taking me?" I ask curiously.

"I found this place in my Third Year," Cole says. "We used to sneak firewhiskey down here at the end of the year. I want to show you before we leave."

We finally arrive at an enclosed little corner. We are surrounded by trees, the green and the brown surrounding me. I can not even see outside the small circle, especially with night having arrived.

"Here we are."  
"It's gorgeous," I breathe.

"I want you to marry me."

I turn around abruptly, eyes wide, my lips parted in shock. I wasn't quite sure what was going on…was I hallucinating? I had to be. There was no other possible explanation for this situation.

"Marry me."

"I'm sorry…What?" I ask quickly.

"I want you to marry me. Soon. And I'm proposing to you. Right now, ring me damned. It all be damned. Just…marry me."

Cole looks at me, his eyes wide and hands shaking as they smooth out his hair.

"I want you to marry me. We could have a huge, horrible wedding and invite all our relatives, then watch them argue and fight and get drunk and tell stories about our childhood. Demi could be your maid of honor, and she can tell this awful story that was meant to be sweet but ended up being gross and inappropriate, just like Demi. It'll horrify everyone in the room except for us. I could wear an awful, itchy dress robe that makes me completely irritable and uncomfortable. But I'll wear it for you, because you're worth it.

"We'll go away for our honeymoon and get out of England if even for just a night. We'll rent a ridiculously priced hotel room and stay in all day and night just shagging for hours on end...No…not shagging. Married people don't shag…they make love… I'll feed you chocolate covered chocolate bars even though they make you desperately ill. You'll get sick and throw up, and I won't complain, I'll even hold your hair back.

"Then when we get back, we can have children. Lots of children. We could have one baby…or perhaps two? Five even. I hate children. They despise me, to be quite honest. But…I want your children. I want to have babies with you, Roe. I'll love your babies…our babies.

"Demi and Frank can watch them and completely traumatize them for the nights when we want to go out and reclaim our relationship.

"We'll live out in the country if you want. Somewhere small and cozy, the perfect place to raise our five children. Then, maybe if we were daring, we could get a dog. A great big, slobbery dog that ruins the furniture and drools all over everything. But…we'll love him anyways because he's ours.

"When the kids go off to Hogwarts in September we'll be heartbroken, of course, but only for a second. We'll remember there is so much we haven't done and so much we have left to do. We can make love on the kitchen floor without worrying someone is going to walk in on us. We'll take up a ridiculous hobby that will have no use in the real world, like scrapbooking, but it won't matter because we're doing it together.

"We'll be horrified when our daughter gets a boyfriend. Even more so when she gets a fiancé, but we'll be delighted when she gives us our first granddaughter. And the rest will follow suit as well, as we will have had a warm and loving family for them to use as an example.

"Then, when we're old and forgetful and completely senile, we'll die. Together, of course, because we'd have been together so long that even a day apart would be hell. Our children would mourn us, but also find peace in that we went together, holding hands and embracing, like how we first met.

"Roe, I've loved you from the second I saw you. I want to marry you and have babies with you and spend the rest of my life with you. Roe, I've been in love with you before I realized that I was in love with you. When the other girls had cooties I knew you didn't, you couldn't possibly have those disgusting germs because you were the prettiest girl I had ever seen. You still are. I've wasted every spare moment I ever had on you: wondering what you were doing, who you were doing it with. I wanted to be with you all the time. I missed you insanely seconds after you left." He comes to me and grasps my shaking hands in his bigger hands. I see that his are shaking, too. "You're all I ever think about and I know I won't be happy unless I'm with you. I don't want to lie anymore and I don't want to sneak around anymore." He takes a deep, shuddering breath. "Let's just get married.

"Marry me. Tomorrow. Or next weekend. Or three weeks from now. It doesn't matter when we get married just as long as you spend the rest of your life with me, because I want to spend it with you."

He reaches into his pocket and brings out a box and I find myself sobbing to the point of hysteria when he opens it and shows it to me.

"Say you'll marry me, Roe."

"Yes," I sob, my shoulders shaking horribly. "I'll marry you."

There is the briefest of moments where he wavers as though he was going to fall and then I find myself lifted into his arms and spun around. He gives a shout of delight and kisses me gently and excitedly.

"You did say yes, right?" he asks quickly, placing me back on the ground.

I nod and sniffle. "Yes," I say thickly. I use my entire hand to wipe my nose. "Ugh, I've got snot everywhere!"

"I don't care," Cole replies and kisses me again. He pulls back and wipes his nose. "Alright, I care a little, but it doesn't matter."

I rub his shoulders as he looks down at me. "I love you."

"I love you, too," he says and kisses me again.

"Those things you said to me…"

"I meant every one of them," he replies.

I nod. "They were…perfect. They've been what I've wanted to hear my entire life. I feel the same way."

Cole beams at me and bends down to kiss me again.

I am lowered to the ground and my clothes are removed from my body with gentle ease. I don't care if the entire world sees us now, it no longer matters to me.

Cole kisses my shoulder. "I love you, Roe," he whispers.

I close my eyes and smile contentedly.

"Let's get married tonight," I say as we dress.

"Tonight?" Cole repeats.

I nod. "Everyone's busy…no one will notice we're missing."

"You don't want anyone there?"

"Like my parents?"

"Like Demi," Cole says.

I think about it. "It's romantic, isn't it? Eloping…To be able to leave your everyday life for even a minute and get married…"

"Roe…if that's what you want…"

"You don't want to do it tonight?" I ask, my euphoria faulting.

"I do!" Cole says quickly. "But will you regret the decision in the morning?"

"I don't think so," I say confidently. "I'll wake up tomorrow morning and wish I were married…"

Cole kisses me. "If you really want to…if you're sure."

"I am," I reply.

"Alright."

"Where do we go?" I ask.

"Erm…" Cole frowns. "I know…"

An hour later we went to the Ministry and petitioned for a wedding. As we sat in the small, enclosed waiting room waiting for our name to be called I only briefly thought that no one else was here…But as soon as we walked into the small office of the Ministry and a notary signed his name on our paper and we were married…it didn't matter.

"And you, Rosemary Potter, take Cole Malfoy to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"I do," I said softly.

"And you, Cole Malfoy, take Rosemary Potter to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

Cole looked at me firmly. "I do."

"Then I do declare this marriage legitimate and binding." He waved his wand over our hands. Gold sparks shot from his wand and a tingle went up my spine…and we were married.

Now we're sitting on the grass outside his house. My eyes are transfixed on my ring finger, which twinkles in the light.

"Do you want to come inside and go to bed?"

"Your parents—"

"Who cares?" Cole asks.

"Oh." I think for a moment. "Okay, then."

We walk through the grand doors and see his parents sitting in their den. Draco is reading from a book and Pansy is talking to him. He nods every once in a while and she seems to be content with his grunts instead of answers.

"Mum…Dad…" Cole says.

"What are you doing," I hiss, trying to break free from the strong grip his hand has on mine. "Are you crazy?"

"No, I'm just not hiding anymore," he says confidently. "Mom! Dad!"

We walk into the room and Draco glances up as Pansy stops talking.

"Cole, darling, where did you run off to? I couldn't find you after the ceremony! I wanted to…" She breaks off as Cole raises his hand.

"I need to tell you something."

Pansy's eyes snap to mine for the briefest of seconds before they go back to Cole's.

"Of course," she says.

"This is Roe."

"Yes, darling, we've met her…" Pansy says and then glances at Draco for any inkling of where this is going, but he is staring straight ahead at Cole.

"This is Roe Potter. My wife."

Oh, for the love of all that is holy.

Pansy turns back to us and then her eyes snap the mine and they stay there for longer than a second.  
"Oh, hello…" I say into the silence.

"Your…your…your…_wife_?" Pansy asks.

"Yes. We got married an hour ago."

"Draco…do something!" Pansy suddenly rounds on her husband.

But he doesn't do anything, not yet at least. He stares at us for minutes and minutes until he drowns the last of his drink and turns to his wife with a shrug.

"What is there to do?" he asks her. "They're both adults. They can make their own decisions."

"Draco!" Pansy shrieks furiously. "Our only son just got married to his girlfriend without telling us! Say something!"

He contemplates her and then turns back to us.

"Congratulations," he tells us. "Happy?" he asks his wife.

"Do I look happy?" she retorts furiously.

"Not particularly," he replies indifferently.

"Mum, don't be mad," Cole interjects before Pansy can fire something else back at Draco. "I love her."

Pansy turns to him and I can almost see the love and pain in her eyes radiate over to him. She contemplates him and seems more subdued.

"You love her?" she asks him.

"Yes."

"And you love him?" she asks me.

"Yes," I say in the most confident voice I can muster.

Pansy takes a deep shuddering breath and stands. I think she is going to walk from the room, but she comes to me and after another deep breath, she wraps me into a hug and says, "Then welcome to the family, Roe Potter."

And just like that I am part of her family with no more questions and no more accusations. The Malfoy's found out I was a Potter and now I am a Malfoy and no one got hurt, I didn't die, Cole didn't break up with me…

Just as I hoped, everything was alright.

And just like that I am ready to tell my parents.

OoOoOo

But the courage that I went to bed with wasn't there when I woke up. I woke the next morning in Cole's bed and felt an immense amount of guilt wash over me.

"What did I do?" I whisper to myself, thinking of my parent's who expect me to be waking at Demi's and then coming home for a congratulatory breakfast. They don't know the shit bomb I am going to drop on them. "Oh, shit!" I hold my hands over my face as I think of Demi.

"What's the matter?"

How do I tell Cole that I somewhat regret last night. That I regret marrying him without my parents or Demi by my side.

"Nothing," I reply softly. "I overslept," I say.

"Are you leaving?"

"Yes," I say.

"Are you telling your parents today?"

"Yes," I say, a fresh urge to vomit overtaking me.

"Will you be back later?"

"Yes."

"Then I'll see you later, Mrs. Malfoy."

I stop, a wide smile suddenly overtaking my face and kiss him.

"Yes, you will, Mr. Malfoy."

"I love you."

"I love you," I reply. "Sleep. I'll be back in a little bit."

"Don't forget to tell your parents about the trip."

"I won't," I say, my stomach crunching.

"Do you want me to come with you?" he asks.

"No!" I shout. "No…that's ok. I can do it by myself." I smile. "Bye."

With a pop I am in my living room again.

"Roe, is that you?"

Mum comes around the corner and her face suddenly breaks into a bright grin.

"Hello my little graduate! I made your favorite! Come into the kitchen."

"Wait…" I say to her. "I have to tell you something."

"Sure…Do you want some—"

"No, Mum, I need to tell you something. Sit down."

"Ok…"

"Roe? Ginny, is that Roe?"

"Yes, Harry! Come down here."

No, no, no, no! I can not possibly face my father and tell him. I can't do it. I won't do it. Telling Mum is one thing…Dad is like a completely different task.

"Good morning, Roe," Dad says.

"Roe has something to tell us," Ginny says to Dad.

"Oh…Let me show her first."

"Good idea."

"Show me what?" I ask.

"Wait here," Dad says.

He rushes from the room and Mum and I are left alone.

"Is everything okay, Roe?" Mum asks me.

"No…I mean yes, everything's fine…"

Dad returns, carrying a rather large box with him.

"We got you a graduation present."

Oh, no…Please be something stupid and awful.

But it isn't awful. Well, unless puppies are awful.

"It's a puppy!" I screech in delight, loosing my head a bit. I pluck it out of the box and hold it close to me.

"Mrs. Hatchet down the street breeds chocolate labs. Your Mum and I were walking by and we saw all the puppies."

"Dad asked if one were for sale and she said she had one left for sale."

"So we bought him," Dad finishes. "He's about ten weeks old."

The puppy licks at my chin and I am distracted from the task at hand.

"We've already had him for about a week now. He's trained and has his own little cage in the corner," Dad says.

I stroke the puppy's silky fur and feel the restlessness her had soon turn to calm as he drifts to sleep.

"Where is it?" I ask.

"Over here," Dad says and leads me around the corner into the kitchen where the cage sits. Inside are a pillow and a bowl of water and a bowl of food. "He's such a good dog. He sleeps in it all night without so much as a sound."

I get down on the floor and put the resting puppy back into the cage. He shifts a bit but continues to sleep.

When I stand back up I look Dad straight in the eye.

"I need to tell you and Mum something."

"Oh, yes, of course."

When we get back into the living room I look at them each in turn.

"First of all…Thank you so much for the puppy."

"You're welcome," they say.

"You deserve it," Dad says.

"I don't," I reply.

There is a long silence.

I open my mouth to tell my parents everything. I open my mouth to tell them that I got married last night to Cole Malfoy and we've been dating for a year now. I open my mouth to admit that I've lied to them and have been lying to them since I got home. I open my mouth to tell them what an awful daughter I've been, and how I've gone behind their backs and snuck around when they trusted me. I open my mouth to say this to all of them when the fireplace suddenly emits a wondrous green flame and someone's shouting voice comes over the threshold.

"Harry? Ginny?"

"Michael?" Mum cries, turning towards the flame. She gets up from the couch, giving me one last look and kneels down by the fireplace. "What's the matter?"

"The water!" he cries.

"What water?" Mum asks.

"It broke! Her water broke!"

Dad hops up and hurries towards the fireplace and I sit back further in the couch. I do not know what to feel: relief that my confession can wait another day or two, or pure anger that Elizabeth has thwarted me from doing something once again. She's like my arch-nemesis or something! I fold my arms and decide to feel both.

"Where is she?" Dad asks quickly.

"On the couch," Michael says, turning behind him to look, his neck twisting around in the flames. "She says it's time to get to the hospital."

"Alright, we'll meet you there," Mum says, looking up at Dad a mixture of anxiety and excitement on her face. He extends his hand to help her up and she gazes at him for a moment before hurrying into the kitchen. Dad follows her without a word.

After a second I get up and follow them in as well, wondering how they are going about this. Maybe they'll leave me home so I don't have to go watch Bastard Baby being born.

"Alright, we'll need a camera for the pictures…and the baby blanket. Elizabeth asked if the baby could come home in her blanket…where did I put it? Oh! Here it is." Mum puts it into the bag she's packing. "I suppose we should bring a book to read. First babies can take days."

"I'll go floo James and let him know," Dad says and hurries back into the living room leaving Mum and I alone. I watch her pack quickly. She tosses odd things into a bag and then brushes her hair back from her face with a frown.

"Am I forgetting something?" she asks.

"No," I reply.

"Alright. Roe, do you want to bring anything?"

"I'm not coming!" I say as though it should be obvious.

Mum turns to look at me, stunned. "What? What do you mean you aren't coming? Of course you are!"

"No, Mum, I'm not," I reply coldly. "Why do I want to watch Elizabeth give birth to the baby she had with my ex-boyfriend that she cheated with for our entire relationship?"

"Because she's your sister!" Mum cries angrily. "This has gone on for too long, Rosemary!"

"I haven't forgiven her yet!" I shout.

"What's all the yelling for?" Dad asks, coming back into the kitchen. He looks to me immediately because of course, if someone's yelling it must be my fault!

"Rosemary says she isn't coming," Mum snarls, glaring at me.

"Of course you're going!" Dad says in surprise.

"No!" I shout and walk around the island counter to look at both my parents. "I'm not going."

"Listen to me, Rosemary, and listen very closely," Mum says in a tone I have never heard her use. I can tell she's too furious with me for words, but she is trying her best. She points at me with her index finger. "You two are not speaking now, right now in this moment, but someday you're going to be talking. Someday you two will make up and put this horrible thing behind you. And when you do, you're going to kick yourself for not seeing the birth of your sister's baby. Believe me, Roe; you will regret it for the rest of your life. Despite everything that is going on between the two of you, you're sisters. You will always be sisters no matter how much you deny each other and pull away from each other, you share a blood bond.

"Elizabeth wants you there, Roe. She's sorry and she feels horrible about what happened and she wants your forgiveness more than anything else in the entire world. She may not have been the best sister in the world, but she's all you have. I don't have a sister so I do not know what it's like to have one, but I know if I did I would want to be there for the birth of her first and maybe only child."

Mum looks at me imploringly. And then she says, "Be the person I know you are Roe. Do not punish Elizabeth for the rest of your lives. You have to forgive her. You _have_ to forgive her." The pleading tone in Mum's voice is heartbreaking.

I hang my head down. The tears that are in my eyes press against my lids and threaten to escape. I do not want to cry because of Mum's harsh words. I know she wanted me to feel their full effect and I do, but I do not want to cry because it would show that I miss Elizabeth as much as I've been trying to deny.

I hate it when Mum's right. She always seems to know exactly what to say to reveal it to us, too. She knows that as much as I hate Elizabeth right now I'd regret it someday. My pride is simply refusing that I be the one who ends our silent fighting.

I decide to tell Mum and Dad now. They're already mad at me as it is so I figure I'll just get it all out. Perhaps they'll get distracted by Bastard Baby and forget all about this.

"I have to tell you both something," I say, my head still bent.

"Can't it wait?" Mum asks anxiously.

"No," I say firmly and look up at them. "It can't wait."

They both stare at me and I do not miss the stab of fear in their eyes. My posture has changed and my voice has changed. They know what I am about to say is very important.

"I lied to you," I say finally, unaware of how to start the awkward conversation we are about to have.

"When?" Dad asks.

"Last year," I say. "All year, actually, since last June."

"About what?" Mum asks quietly.

"I had a boyfriend," I say.

"Okay…" Mum says slowly and carefully.

I hang my head again. "And I…married him last night," I say.

Mum opens her mouth as though to speak, but nothing comes out of her mouth. For a moment I think I may actually laugh, but then her legs seem to give out and she collapses against the wall, all the things in her arms falling to the floor.

I cringe and I wait.

"You did _what_?" she asks, her voice piercing my ears. She shakily stands upright and clenches a hand down on Dad's shoulder.

"I got married."

"What?" she shouts again.

"After graduation. He asked me and I accepted," I say weakly and then I hold up my hand to show them the ring Cole gave me. "It was nice."

"It was nice?" Dad repeats. "Well, everything's better! Our youngest daughter's wedding was nice."

"Don't joke," Mum snarls at Dad. "Roe…how could you? How could you…we weren't even…Grandma…"

"I wanted to get married!"

"Why?" Dad shouts.

"Because I wanted to!" I reply loudly.

"Oh. My. God!" Mum bellows and jumps. "What the hell were you thinking?"

"I was thinking of myself, Mum! No one else does!" I reply furiously. "I'm sorry I didn't have the perfect wedding you wanted like Elizabeth!"

"It didn't have to be like Elizabeth's!" Mum shouts at me. "And what the hell do you mean no one thinks about you?"

"I'm surprised you even realized I come home at night! You never, ever notice me! Not until I do something to grab your attention! I've had a boyfriend for a year and you didn't even notice!"

Neither of them says anything for a while. I'm breathing much too heavy and I suddenly fear I'm going to cry. Already I can feel the tears getting ready to fall, the traitorous bastards.

"Roe…of all the _stupid_ things to do…" Dad says.

"It wasn't stupid!" I shout. "It was perfect in my way, the way I wanted it to be! I didn't make a mistake and I wasn't acting irrationally! I wanted to get married!"

"I can't even think straight," Mum growls at Dad. She runs her hands through her hair and glances up at the ceiling. "I think I'm having a panic attack," she says suddenly.

I watch in horror as her cheeks loose their color and turn an ashen color. She begins pacing back and forth as I wait for her to say something else. Finally, after she hyperventilates for another five minutes, she whips around to look at me.

But it is Dad who speaks when he says, "You're right. Maybe we didn't pay as much attention with you as we did with the other two. It is inexcusable, but it happened."

"He's right," Mum says. "I always figured you didn't need as much attention. When you were a baby I could just place you on the floor and I wouldn't need to worry about you. I never worried about you. I knew you didn't need constant attention like James and Elizabeth did."

"That doesn't mean I don't want it!" I snap. "Merlin's balls!"

"Watch your mouth!" Mum shouts.

"Roe…We know you're here and we know when you're not here. There's an incredible amount of silence in your absence, so we're always sure when you're gone. And just because we don't dote on you, doesn't mean that we love you any less!" Dad says.

"I know that," I say, twisting my hands. "I just think that sometimes you forget you even have me."

"Oh, Roe!" Mum says, softening for the first time. "I could never…" Her eyes suddenly fill with tears and she opens her arms for a hug. I fall against her and then feel Dad hug around us.

For a moment they stand there and hug me, just the two of them in our silent kitchen, and I feel as though everything is better. I just forgot that they have yet to find out the identity of my husband.

Mum backs away and wipes her eyes.

"So who is he?"

"Huh?" I ask, also wiping my eyes.

"Your boy…your husband," she says with as much enthusiasm as she can muster. "Who is he? Do we know him?"

"Yes, you know him," I say.

I take a deep shuddering breath. This is the moment that I have been dreading for a year now. This is the moment that they are going to find out everything. I have been afraid of this moment for such a long time. And yet, in the seconds before I tell them, I feel an odd sense of calm, as though they won't hate me, they'll be happy.

It all goes to shit, though. Should have known.

"It's Cole Malfoy."

There is a tense, stunned silence. I don't want to look up and look at my father. All this time it's only his face that I can see when I tell my parents the truth. All this time it's only been him that I've really been afraid of. Mum will understand, I have no doubt, but Dad won't understand. All he'll see is a Malfoy. Mum reads those trashy romance novels, so she'll think it's romantic or something. Hopefully.

The silence stretches on into a minute when Mum finally says, "Oh, fuck."

"Cole Malfoy?" Dad repeats in a dangerous voice.

"We got together in June and we've been seeing each other since then. He asked me to marry him last night and I accepted." I show them my hand again as though this will help them understand.

"Well," Mum says in a tight voice. She stops and turns to Dad helplessly.

"We don't have time for this," Dad snarls. "We need to get to the hospital."

"Right," Mum replies, glancing gratefully at my father. She gives a small, nervous giggle and quickly heads into the living room leaving Dad and I alone.

"Dad…" I say after a moment. My voice cracks and I fight the urge to run to him and beg for forgiveness.

"We're going to the hospital. You can come or not. I don't care," he says and I stop at the tone of his voice. Its cold tone literally makes me shiver. I feel as though I've had ice dumped on me or as though I walked through a ghost.

He turns sharply and follows Mum out the door. I stand in the kitchen for a moment before I finally sink into a chair and cry. My shoulders shake uncontrollably and my body tries to make itself feel better as though the more tears I cry the better it'll make me feel.

I sit in the kitchen for what feels like years when someone puts their hand on my shoulder. I glance up hopefully, praying it's Dad and that he's come back to fetch me. My disappointment must show on my face because James gives me a look and sits down next to me.

"You got _married_?" he asks incredulously. "What on Earth was going on in your mind, Roe?"

"I don't know!" I start sobbing again and I rest my head in my hands as my elbows rest on the table. "It was spontaneous and…"

"Dumb," James finishes for me. "It was very, very dumb."

I sniffle and then I nod. "But I don't regret it," I tell him. "I love Cole more than anything else in the world." I turn to glance through the archway where the fireplace is visible and I let out another sob. "They hate me."

"They're pretty pissed," James admits. "Well, Mum is hyperventilating in Elizabeth's hospital room. At least that's where I left them." He smiles at me slightly. "I do want to congratulate you, though."

I snort and feel snot come out of my nose. James grimaces and hands me a napkin. "Why?" I ask as I wipe my nose.

"Well, I've honestly never seen Dad look so angry," he replies and I let out another sob. "Oh, sorry! I meant that as a joke, Roe!"

I start crying harder. "I just feel as though everything is all wrong!" I wail. "I just wanted to get married and be married," I say. "I've wanted to get married since last July when Frank and Demi got engaged!"

"Don't you think maybe Mum and Dad would want to know that you've had a boyfriend?" James asks mockingly. "I mean, usually, parents like to meet who their children marry before the marriage. It gives them a chance to make sure their children don't marry circus freaks."

"Cole is not a circus freak," I snarl angrily.

"I know he isn't," James says, "but look at some of the people kids bring home. Look what Michael was bringing home."

I shoot him a furious glare and replace my head in my hands.

He isn't comforting me, and instead makes me cry harder as I picture what might have been if I had just talked to Mum and Dad before hand. I realize that Dad didn't even get to walk me down the aisle. He didn't get to walk Elizabeth down the aisle, either.

"I've been so upset since Christmas," I say finally, crying softly. "I felt as though I didn't know what the hell was going on anymore, like everything was completely out of my control." I look to James. "How can I ever look at her again the same way? How am I supposed to go stand in the hospital room and watch her give birth to that baby?" I shake my head and look away from him. "She was my sister! My _sister_!" I wipe my tears. "How can I ever trust her again?"

"Roe," James says slowly. "They love each other very much."

"Why does everyone keep saying that?" I cry angrily. "That doesn't change what they did to me! Does it mean that they never screwed around behind my back just because they're in love? Does it mean they didn't have sex while I was sitting in the living room just because they're in love? Does it mean it wasn't cheating because they were in love?" I glare at James. "I know you treat relationships like you're on the clock or something, but Michael meant a lot to me. Elizabeth meant a lot to me."

"You have to forgive her, Roe," James says.

"No, I don't," I snap. "I don't have to do any such thing."

"Yes you do," James says imploringly. "She's moved out and you're obviously going to be moving out…how would you feel if you never got to talk to her again?"

"Amazing," I snap.

"You don't want to watch the birth of your niece of nephew?"

"Bastard Baby?" I ask. "No, I don't."

There is a moment's silence and then James reaches across the table to clench onto my hands. I look at him and the look he has on his face is one I've never seen before. It must be the day for those.

"You have to go," James says. "She wants you to be there. She needs you to forgive her, Roe."

"I can't," I whisper morosely.

"Yes you can, Roe, yes you can. You are a sweet, kind, caring person and I know deep down inside that tiny little button-sized heart you have that you want to be there. I know you want to be there when she gives birth to the baby. Don't deny it, Roe."

I slump back in my seat and snatch my hands out of his grip. We sit in a silence so loud and deafening that I can barely hear the sound of the ticking clock over it.

My brain and heart are having an all out battle against one another. One wants to be there for the baby, that would be logic giving its argument from the top. From the center of my body comes my heart's argument that I'm too hurt to go and watch Michael and Elizabeth have their baby.

"I can't," I say again.

"Roe." James sounds furious. "You dumped Michael, remember? You have been dating Cole for a year now. You are _married_ to someone else! What the fuck does it matter anymore? I can understand if you were in love with Michael—"

"And I was!" I screech. "He sabotaged out relationship on purpose!"

"SO WHAT?" James bellows. "WHO GIVES A FUCK?" I jump in surprise. "Do you love Cole?"

"Yes."

"Do you want to spend the rest of your life with Cole?"

"Yes."

"Then what does it matter what happened with Elizabeth and Michael? Can't you see that as a blessing? Don't you think maybe fate wanted you and Cole to end up together and that's why it had Michael cheat on you?"

"I—"

"Don't you ever stop to think that maybe you were supposed to have Michael cheat on you so that you would meet up with Cole and realize how good he is for you? Don't you ever think that maybe Michael was with Elizabeth for a reason?"

"I haven't ever really—"

"You and Michael wouldn't have worked, Roe," James says to me. "And you have Cole now. Why can't you forgive Elizabeth?"

"You make me sound like a dolt," I snap.

James is right, though. I don't care that Michael cheated on me so much, because I have Cole and I count every day with him like a blessing. I am just so infuriated that I wasted my time on Michael. I wish he would have just broken up with me in the first place, not try to piss me off so I'd end it with him instead. I could have had years with Cole.

"Alright," I whisper. "I'll go to the hospital."

James sags in relief. "Oh, thank Merlin. I don't think I was allowed back into the hospital unless I brought you with me." He gets up and pushes the chair in. "I really respect you for doing this, just so you know."

"Coming from you that means almost nothing," I say and he scowls at me. "I'm kidding. That does mean something. Thank you." I let out a shaky breath, my stomach crunching with nerves. "Let's just get this over with." He holds out his hand.

I take James's hand and we Apparate to the hospital. I crack an eye open to see the white halls the white floors shining with sunlight. I am almost blinded by it, but James takes my hand and leads me down a slightly darker hallway.

"She's got a private room," James says to me. "You know, because she's Harry Potter's daughter. There was a reporter here when I left and Dad was busy shooing him out of the room and threatening jail time. Ah, here we are."

We come to room 211. I am gripped with sudden fear again, not just of seeing Elizabeth for the first time in six months but also because I do not know what I am going to say to Mum or Dad. Will they even speak to me while I'm here?

"Aren't you coming?" James asks as he turns to knob. I jerkily shake my head no and he sighs. "Roe, we're family. We love hard and we fight hard. It's the way we are. Mum and Dad will forgive you."

"Promise?" I ask, though it sounds more like a beg.

"I promise."

"Okay, let's go in."

He opens the door and for a moment I can see and hear nothing. As the seconds creep by I take in the green wallpaper on the walls and the white linoleum floors flecked with blue and green and red. My eyes skate over my parent's who, despite their fury, manage to have surprised looks on their faces, and over Michael, who is averting my gaze. I settle on Elizabeth who is lying in bed with her head on the pillow, her eyes closed.

"Is she asleep?" James asks.

"Yes," Michael answers. "She fell asleep about a half hour ago." He looks at me guiltily and for the first time I do not feel the usual stab of anger or annoyance. I feel nothing for him anymore. I realize that we were over before we even began. The relationship was a learning experience and a stepping stone for me, and that's all. Michael loved and loves Elizabeth. He's going to have a baby with her today. And I'm alright with that. I can forgive him someday. I can forgive the both of them, maybe. The annoying part is that I feel as though I've already forgiven Elizabeth. A part of me, the spiteful part that lives within us all, just wanted to punish her.

"Well, I could go for a cup of tea," James says loudly, rubbing his hands together. "Michael?"

"Oh, no, thanks—"

"Yeah, that wasn't a question," James says, grabbing Michael by the shoulder. He turns to Mum and Dad. "You two look like you could use something to drink."

Dad eyes me then Elizabeth. "Yes, sure."

Mum looks at me for a second before turning and walking after Dad. I do not know if she wanted to say something to me, but I choose to ignore it and instead walk towards the bed where Elizabeth lay sleeping.

Her stomach is huge, far bigger since I've seen her last when she was only four months along. The hand with her wedding ring is on her stomach, lightly cradling the baby as she sleeps in the few painless minutes she has.

I hover over her for a second before I reach out and touch the hand that is holding her stomach. I turn it over and then place my hand on it and wrap my fingers around her until I am holding onto her hand very tight.

My eyes go to her eyes and I see that hers are now open and she is looking at me as though she can't quite believe her eyes.

"I didn't think you were coming," she says weakly.

"Me either," I reply. "I didn't want to."

"Why did you, then?" she asks.

"Because," I say weakly. "You're my sister," I say, as though it should be obvious. "If it were me lying in this bed I'd like to think you'd come to be by my side, too."

She is quite for a moment and then she hiccups and I know she is about to start crying.

"I'm sorry, Roe, I'm really, really sorry," she says, tears in her eyes. "I didn't want to hurt you. You have to believe me. I never wanted to hurt you." She looks at me imploringly and her hand clenches down on mine. I know she is trying her all to make me believe her. She wants me to forgive her. I can feel her craving for forgiveness.

"I know, Elizabeth," I say softly. I take my other hand and place it on top of hers. "I…I forgive you, Elizabeth."

She looks at me for a moment and then she croaks, "Really?"

"Yes," I reply.

Her big, beautiful green eyes look away from me and then her shoulders begin to shake and I know she's crying.

I want to put this behind me. I want to start over and live my life with Cole without this hanging over my head all the time. They betrayed me, but I do have to get over it. I need to move on with my life and not let this consume me. I want Elizabeth and Michael to be happy. I want the baby to be happy.

Elizabeth turns to me. "Do you really mean that?" she asks.

"Yes," I say. "I want you two to be happy—I mean, you three." I place my hand down on her stomach.

She glances down on it and then her eyebrows crease into a frown. A second later her hand comes down and picks up my hand.

"Is that…is that a _wedding ring_?" she asks me, her eyes looking up at me questioningly, though the shock is also present.

"Oh…er, yes, funny story," I say awkwardly. "I…I got married last night. Right after graduation, actually."

"What?" she splutters. "To who?"

"Erm…Cole Malfoy," I say, gazing down at my ring. I glance up at her and see that she looks as though she's about to have a stroke. "We started dating last June—"

"I knew it!" she cries. "You lying little wench, I knew you were sneaking around with him," she says, her tone teasing and joking.  
"You should be talking," I reply and she blushes. "And yes, I was sneaking around with him."

"Let me see the ring again," she says and takes my hand. I let her glance at it and then she whistles. "Did you tell Mum and Dad yet?"

"Yes, I did," I say.  
"How did they take it?" she asks.

My mind flashes back to the scene in the kitchen and I nod my head. "Pretty good," I say. I don't tell her that our parents are probably never going to speak to me ever again, despite what James says and believes. He wasn't there. He didn't see Dad's face.

Suddenly Elizabeth clutches her stomach and winces in obvious pain. I hover awkwardly and wait for her face to relax and her muscles to stop crunching up or adjusting or whatever it is they're doing now.

"Where is everyone?" she asks with difficulty some minutes later. She doesn't look as though she's quite recovered from whatever pain that just went through her body, but she tries to relax herself and breathes out deeply.

"They went to get tea," I say.

"You can pull up a chair, you know, so you don't have to stand." She points to the chair in the corner and with a wave of her wand it floats over to her bedside. She gestures at it and I gently lower myself into the chair.

"I missed you," Elizabeth says. "Well...that isn't true. I mean," she says quickly as I look at her in surprise, "I guess I missed you. We weren't exactly close to begin with." She sighs sadly and looks over at me again. "I wasn't a good sister, Roe. I'm not a good sister. I'm a bitch. No, no, don't protest."

"Oh, I wasn't," I say. "I was going to agree whole-heartedly with you."

She gives me a small smile that tells me she agrees with me and she probably deserved that. "Alright," she says. "Then we're in agreement. I'm a big bitch."

"Ah, yes. I think that's the first thing we've agreed on since…well, I guess since forever." I frown at her and she gives a little laugh.

"I want us to start over," she says suddenly. "I want us to turn a leaf or a book page or whatever they call it. We're the only sisters we've got. We shouldn't hate each other or…be mean to one another."

"No, we shouldn't," I say in agreement. "See, we're already agreeing on stuff."

"I'm serious."

"No, you're Elizabeth. Sirius was Dad's godfather."

She snorts. "That was awful and you know it," she says. Her smile turns into a grimace and she clenches her stomach again, forcefully. Her breath comes out from between her teeth until she relaxes again.

"We can start over," I promise when she looks at me again. How am I to deny her at a time like this? At a time when she is trying to push a baby out of her…well, not a very big place.

OoOoOo

It's an hour later and I am staring, with full horror on my face, no doubt, as my sister's legs are put into these things called stir-ups or something. I was, at first, standing against the back wall with James, until our sister's vagina came into full view. I do not know who yelled louder or scrambled out of the way quicker, but we both decided up by Elizabeth's head was better.

She's now grunting and panting her way through a push and I am certain that childbirth isn't for me. I do not see how anything could possibly be worth the screams that are emitting from Elizabeth's mouth. I've never heard anything like it. It sounds as though I got my wish and a big, toothy baby is about make its way into the world. Of course _that_ would be the only time my wishes came true. Of course. Not when I wanted bigger boobs or prettier eyes, no.

"Oh, Merlin," Elizabeth pants and her head flops back against the pillow. "I can't do this. I can't do this! No, don't touch me!" Michael hastily moves to the side and Elizabeth clenches her eyes shut.

"Mrs. Lang, I need you to push for me," the Healer says, glancing up Elizabeth.

"I can't!" Elizabeth wails.

Michael quickly walks over to her and climbs into the bed behind her. She is quickly propped up against him as he pushes her towards the end of the bed. He whispers something into her ear and after a second she nods and grasps onto his hands as tightly as she can.

I turn to look at my parents who are watching all of this with a look of pure excitement on their face. This will be, after all, their first grandchild. And, judging from James's horrified expression and the absolute disgust in the pit of my stomach, their last. There is no way in hell I am ever having a baby. I'll buy one or something. Ooh, or Demi could have it for me!

"Alright, one more push," the Healer says, with a small smile on her face. "The baby is almost out. Alright…alright…Good…good! It's a girl!"

The baby is placed against Elizabeth's chest and Michael moves back so she can lie down. Elizabeth is sobbing. Michael looks down in awe at the baby that is currently screaming louder than Elizabeth was.

I turn to look at Mum and Dad and see that they are both crying as well and for the first time since I've gotten here I feel ecstatically happy, as though I am on some sort of drug or something. My eyes are suddenly clouded and I realize that there are tears in my eyes as well.

I can't believe that Elizabeth is a mum. I truly cannot believe that she actually has a baby or a child. It's hard to imagine that just hours ago she was my bitchy sister who stole my stupid boyfriend and got knocked up and then had a shotgun wedding. Now, she's my amazing sister who pushed a human being out of her and is now a mum. A _mum_. I am a bit flabbergasted, but so deliriously happy that I even jump into James's arms when he extends them and allow myself to hug him.

"What are you going to name her, love?" Mum asks, wiping the tears out of her eyes. "Did you two pick out any names?"

Elizabeth nods and strokes the baby's hair. My nieces' hair.

"Yes, we have a name picked out," she says and turns to Michael as though asking to make sure he's positive this is what they will christen their daughter. "We're going to name her Violet Ginevra Potter Lang."

"That's beautiful!" Mum whispers, tears fresh in her eyes. She glances down at the baby with a small smile. "May I hold her?"

"Of course!" Elizabeth says and instantly hands her over to our mother, who accepts her carefully and skillfully.

"She's a big baby," Mum says softly. Thanks to me, I think to myself.

"Mhmm," Elizabeth says sleepily. She yawns and then smiles up at Michael with such a sense of joy that I am once again touched by it. I guess it may take a while for me to actually realize that they are a couple.

"Harry, do you want to hold her?"

Dad steps forward and accepts the baby. She lies against his arm and he smiles down at her proudly. I wonder if Dad ever gave me that look. The look that is filled with so much pride and unimaginable joy and happiness that it looks as though he'll love you no matter what, no matter how much you try to test that. I wonder if he ever gave me that look…and if he'll ever give it to me again.

"She's gorgeous," Dad says. "I think she'll have red hair."

Elizabeth smiles. I agree, though. Michael is fair-haired and in our family it took black hair and some vela to keep the red at bay.

"I think Michael's eyes, perhaps," she says and yawns again. "Blimey I'm tired!"

"You just had a baby," Mum says, stroking Elizabeth's hair. "We'll leave soon so you can rest."

"Not yet, though. Please," she replies and looks over at me dazedly. "Do you want to hold her?"

I look at Dad quickly but he is still looking at the baby.

"Sure," I say.

Dad hands her to me, though he never takes his face off of his granddaughter. I can understand why, though. She's unbelievably gorgeous with red hair and the sweetest nose I have ever seen. She has chubby cheeks and rosebud lips.

"She really is beautiful," I say to Elizabeth, looking up at her. I turn to James, who has been uncharacteristically silent throughout this. "Do you want to hold her, James?"

"Erm…no, it's alright," he says awkwardly. I frown at him until he relents and holds out his arms and accepts Violet. He holds her awkwardly as well, and looks uncomfortable throughout the entire thing. He is such a weird character, he is.

OoOoOo

I open my eyes as I lay in bed, unable to sleep. Mum and Dad haven't talked to me in a week now and I am wondering whether I should tell them that I'm planning on leaving in two days for the trip. Mum isn't so bad, but she still only talks to me about frivolous things and won't let me get on the subject of Cole. She wants to pretend it isn't happening.

I thought that maybe when we were leaving Elizabeth's hospital room that Mum and Dad might want to talk to me, or even look at me in Dad's case, but no. Dad simply pushed past me without a look and Mum sighed heavily and followed him quickly, catching his hand when they met.

I turn on my side and stare at the empty hallway outside of my bedroom. I've been in my room all day unable to come out and face my parents. It's been like this all week and I am beginning to tire of it. I miss my parents and I want them to talk to me…to forgive me. I now realize how awful it must have been for Elizabeth to not have my forgiveness for six months. A week knowing my parents hate me has been enough to drive me bonkers. If they don't forgive me by tomorrow then I am going to fling myself upon my father and beg for forgiveness.

With a start I realize that the light down the hall just came on. I push off the bed and sit up, listening intently. I hear nothing. My feet press into the carpet as I get up and look down the hall and see it comes from Dad's office. I walk down the hall quietly and stand in the doorway. He seems to sense my presence and begins speaking.

"The War just started to get bad and I honestly didn't know whether I would win or not. I was exhausted and a part of me seriously considered giving up despite everything Voldemort put me through… I just wanted it to be over. Not a day went by that I wasn't afraid I was going to lose someone: your mother, your aunts and uncles, your grandparents…Remus, anyone, really. Mostly I feared that I would get killed and I wouldn't be able to continue on in the War. I feared that I would die and it would be the end of everything for everyone.

"One day after a particular awful battle where we lost dozens of innocent people, the twins, your uncles, slipped me a little pick-me-up, as they called it. It was supposed to give me a glimpse into my future. I was pretty sure it was something they had just started inventing. There was no doubt in my mind that it might not even work, but I took it anyways. I was slightly desperate." He turns to me now, brief smile on his face. "Do you want to know what I saw when I took it?"

I don't dare speak. I manage to nod my head ever-so-slightly, indicating that I did indeed want to know what he saw.

"I saw a little girl standing in a blue dress with matching shoes. She had long, silky black hair under a giant white hat and big, gorgeous brown eyes that I knew she got from her mother. When the little girl saw me she extended her hand and she said, 'Daddy.'" He raises his eyes to meet mine again. "And that was how I knew I won." He reaches behind his back and picks up a picture frame and extends it to me.

I walk across the small room soundlessly and take it from him. I eye him once more before dropping my eyes to the picture. The moment I see it my bottom lip starts shaking uncontrollably and tears prick my eyes.

The picture he has is of me one Easter when I was three. His favorite picture. I was wearing my new blue dress with matching shoes. A small white purse hung off my arm and my long hair was hanging loosely under a white hat. I am smiling a giant, happy smile.

I clutch it to my chest as I start to cry with big, heavy sobs that wrack through my entire body.

He gets up and starts to walk past me, though just as he does he stops and gives me a kiss on the forehead. "It was from that moment I knew I could never hate you, Roe, no matter what you did. I didn't even know you yet, but I already knew I was going to love you more than anything else in the world when you got here." He clenches onto my shoulder painfully before walking through the room and out the door, his footsteps echoing on the wood stairs.

I don't know how long I stand there, clutching my picture with tears streaming down my face, but I know it's a while. I finally find the strength to place the photo back on the desk and walk from the room. I head back to my room and collapse back into bed when I arrive there.

My hand goes to my ring finger where my wedding ring sits. I twist it around on my finger and let out a giant sigh.

"Everything will be better…" I say to myself over and over again until I fall asleep.

A/N More chapters soon. The last bit with Harry and Roe is the idea that made me want to write this story, in case anyone cares. :)


	20. Chapter 20

_I am pressed against the wall, the bottom of my dress is scrunched around my waist and Cole's breath is in my ear. It blows against my ear in shaky waves as he steadies himself and tries to get comfortable against me._

"_Are you sure?" he asks and I shiver at the huskiness in his voice, something I've never heard before. "We don't have to."_

"_No, I do," I whisper, though my heart is beating too fast and my palms are sweatier than they've ever been. _

_Cole's cool hand lifts my leg and I tense, immediately fearing what is going to come next, but he doesn't press in. First, his hand travels up my leg and disappears under the bottom of my dress until he's touching me somewhere no one has ever touched me. _

_I gasp audibly as he finds that perfect spot. _

"_What are you doing?" I ask in a panicky voice._

_He kisses my neck and says, "You'll like it, I promise."_

_He shifts and moves closer still and continues to rub that spot until I am breathing erratically. It seems as though everything in my life is centered on that one feeling, the feeling that happens when Cole moves his fingers this way or that. _

"_Merlin," I whisper and let my head fall back. _

_It is only a minute later that I suddenly feel it. I've never felt it come so suddenly or so strongly and I am a bit scared by it._

"_I'm going to—" I say more to myself than to him._

_Just as I reach a wonderful peak I feel a quick, sharp pain coming from my center and I suck in all the air my lungs can take._

"_Ouch!" I cry, scrunching my eyes closed and grabbing at his arms._

"_Sorry," he whispers. He kisses my neck. "Relax and it will feel better."_

_I do relax, though it takes me a minute. My legs begin to shake uncontrollably and I slip down the wall, and Cole lifts me back to where I was, only for me to slip again._

"_Can we…lay down?" I ask, avoiding his eye._

"_Sure," Cole says and I feel him slip out of me. "Here." He turns behind him and tugs some coats down and lays them down for me. "I know we kind of already…You don't have to finish…you know. You're not a virgin now."_

_I blush a million different shades of red and meet his eye. _

"_Why not finish it?" I ask with a shrug. "Come here." _

_He inches closer and kisses me softly and I don't feel the panicky feeling in my stomach any more. I'm still far too swept up to really realize what I'm doing._

_I grab at the hem of my dress and quickly tug it off before I think about what I am doing. Then my hands reach for my bra and remove them, as well. Cole stares at me in a transfixed way and I am not sure he hears me when I say, "Your turn."_

_I nudge him and he brings his eyes back up to mine, as I feel slightly panicky with him looking at me, well, at my breasts. _

"_Your turn," I say again. _

"_Oh…okay." He seems embarrassed as he unbuttons his shirt and lets it fall to the floor. He kicks off his shoes and his pants go next. _

_I lay down and, staring up at the ceiling, wait for his weight, which settles pleasantly on top of me. _

"_Are you ready?"_

"_Yes," I reply shakily. "Wait! Can we…turn out the lights?"_

"_Huh?"_

"_The lights."_

"_Oh…sure." I hear him reach for his pants and then whisper, "Nox." _

"_And the spell…the Con—"_

"_I've already done it."_

"_Okay."_

_I wait breathlessly as I hear him come down next to me. His mouth meets my cheek and I feel them ignite again. I never realized how much I've actually wanted this until it happened._

_Again I feel him press against me and I immediately tense as he slides in. I stretch until I think my hips will surely hop out of place and expand further. It still hurts, though his hand quickly returns to that place. _

_Cole's mouth is everywhere. He keeps whispering things in my ear, but I can not hear them. I can only concentrate on the dull, throbbing sensation that is slowly building to be something quite possibly amazing._

_But, before it can turn into that amazing bliss, Cole tenses and shakes and then I feel, for the first time in my entire life, real life boy juice, as Demi calls it. _

"_Thank you," he breathes in my ear. _

"_Um…you're welcome…" I say awkwardly. I pat his shoulder._

_Without much thought I bring my hands to his back and run them up and down them. I give his shoulder a gentle kiss and then I freeze. It hits me then. I am laying under Cole Malfoy, the boy I have been lusting after for three years, completely and utterly naked. Not only that, but he's currently inside of me. _

_Panic mode returns and I have to get out of this small, cramped room. I have to get away from Cole's gaze. I have to leave immediately. _

_A minute later the lights are on and we aren't even looking at one another. I am searching in vain for my bra and I hear the sound of his belt re-buckling. Finally, I find it near the door and put it on, backwards for all I know. _

_My dress is yanked over my head roughly. It is then that I reach for my wand and undo all the spells Cole and I had placed over the small room._

"_Well…thanks." I don't quite meet his eye. "I'll see you at Hogwarts. Have a nice summer." _

_I open the door and as I step through it I see that Cole looks very nearly devastated. I close the door with a snap_

OoOoOo

I blink in confusion. The sunlight streaming into my room is blinding. I frown and then feel a yawn make its way out of my mouth as my head sinks back into the pillow.

My thoughts return to my dream. It is the first time I've ever dreamed about the first time we had sex. I don't usually think about it much, because I am still mortified by how we acted. How I acted, really, like a complete nut.

It's an honest wonder to me how Cole could have ever wanted to stick around with me after that. If I were a guy and the girl I was in love with shagged me and then ran off I would be pretty ticked off.

I relish again in how patient Cole is with me. He was patient then with the embarrassing sex and he is patient now with my fear of moving in with him and wanting to stay with my parents.

Well, it isn't really I fear moving out from my parents, just that I can't leave them angry. It seems so simple that we would never speak to each other again. I had a nightmare the other night that I was sixty and I got an owl from Elizabeth telling me Mum and Dad had died and I hadn't spoken to them in forty-three years. I woke up sobbing into my pillow. It was awful.

Cole understands, though, that I need to work on my parents a bit. He knows how much of a shock it must have been for them. At least his parents knew who I was. They got to meet me and see that I wasn't some freak who was going to rape their son and leave him tied to a bed post…though we may have to try that one of these days.

I heave a giant sigh and throw the covers back. Yes, I started using covers. Cole finally rubbed off on me. I'm glad it wasn't some of his other, odder habits. None of which I'm allowed to disclose because he is a freak, really. Let's just say one has to do with lotion and some mittens and I will say no more on that.

The smell of bacon assaults me as soon as I reach the bottom step of the stairs. This will be the first time in a week that I've come down for breakfast. I've stayed up in my room until hunger threatened to overtake me and then I snuck down and grabbed whatever I could find and run back up to my room. A few times Dad has caught me and given me an odd look, but said nothing. Last night had been our only contact in nearly a week.

I round the corner into the kitchen and see Mum at the stove and Dad at the table reading the paper. I instantly turned, prepared to run up to my room when Dad catches sight of me.

"Good morning, Roe," he says pleasantly.

I mumble something and begin to turn when Mum says, "Sit down, Roe."

I cringe and turn back to face them. Never in my life had anything they could do or say to me ever scared me that much. Dad would feel bad after punishing us and apologize and Mum's voice went hoarse after fifteen minutes of screaming and she needed to take a break.

But it was different this time. I didn't break their wedding vase and I didn't drag mud all over the carpet and leave it to bake into it from the summer sun. This time I did something I can't take back. I lied and I deceived them and I got married without their knowing. I realize now that I really hurt them in a way I may never be able to fix.

I sit in the chair furthest from them and watch Mum sit down next to Dad as my heart rate accelerates.

"We need to talk this out," Mum says, sliding the plate of bacon my way. "You should eat something other than fruit bars."

I gratefully grab a fistful of bacon and shove it into my mouth as Mum and Dad give me a look.

"Yes…" Mum says, a bit distracted. "We need to say some things, get them off our chests. Dad is going to go first."

I cringe, my mouth failing to chew that much bacon at once.

Dad sighs and then, to my horror, takes his glasses off and wipes them with the bottom of his shirt.

Through my bacon packed mouth I say, "Oh, please don't disown me!"

Dad took off his glasses the day he caught James smoking pot and the day he had to explain to Elizabeth about getting your period, because Mum and Aunt Hermione went on holiday. It was actually quite enjoyable. I got to listen to it. He stuttered on for a good ten minutes before finding the right words. Or the wrong words for that matter, for I was a bit confused until Mum and Demi sorted me out.

"We're not going to disown you," Dad says, replacing his glasses. He frowns at me. "You're our daughter. Legally, we can't disown you."

"Then what are you going to do to me?" I ask, swallowing thickly. I was finally making clear words instead of bacon riddled noises.

"Nothing," Mum says, frowning in confusion. "Listen, Roe…" She sighs and I wait. "So you got married without telling us, it was rude and selfish, but it can't be undone. We just feel hurt that you felt you couldn't come to us and tell us you had a boyfriend…"

"It isn't that I had a boyfriend, it was who it was," I say, quickly looking at Dad before looking back at Mum. "I know you guys don't really like the Malfoy family."

"Still…" Mum says, and I feel her kick Dad under the table. "You can always come to us…though I can't see what else there could be…"

"We also want to ask you if the…two of you have thought anything out," Dad says suddenly, as I am about to tell them about the trip.

"Like what?"

"Where are you going to live?"

"A tent," I say.

"A tent," Mum repeats. "That's…simple."

"We're going abroad for a year."

"Oh, you are, are you?" Dad asks and I can hear his tone is getting more and more impatient. "How are you paying?"

"I don't know…"

"What are you going to do when you get back? Where are you going to work?"

"I don't know," I admit.

"Where are you going to live after the trip?"

"I'm not—"

"What happens if you two split up, then what?"

"I don't—"

"Well, Ginny, I can see they've really thought about this," Dad says and I hear the angry tone in his voice.

"Harry." Mum's voice is cold. "Shut up."

"Dad…we don't know what we're going to do. We just want to get out and see the world."

"In a tent?" Dad asks.

"As opposed to…?" I ask.

"Hotels."

"Really, now, Harry!" Mum snaps. "We wanted to do the same thing! We had everything all planned out."

"Why didn't you go?" I ask quickly.

"I believe you've met your brother and sister," Mum says.

"You never wanted to go after they were born?" I ask. "Take them with you?"

"We thought about it," Dad replied grudgingly.

"Why didn't you then?" I ask.

They both turn to me.

"Hello, Reason Number Two," Dad says to me.

"So you two didn't see the world because of us?" I ask. "That's so…sad."

"Well, I don't think it was that sad," Mum says. "I had three beautiful children…for the most part. There was that one awkward year with you…"

I look up quickly and open my mouth to persist when Dad interrupts and says, "We would like to meet him."

"You…you would?" I ask dumbly.

"Of course," Dad says.

"You want to?"

"No—If you kick me one more time, Ginny, I swear I'll—"

"Of course we want to meet your husband, darling," Mum interjects after elbowing Dad in the ribs. "I want to know who my daughter is going to be with for a year."

"Life, actually."

Dad makes a noise and Mum shoots him another furious glare.

"Right…life. My apologies."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." She smiles at me, though it doesn't reach her eyes. "And I want you to know that…I support you." She half turns towards Dad. "We both support you."

"Wow…okay, then. I'll tell him. I am going to see him today."

"Great," Mum replies.

I stand, ready to leave, when my entire body sizes up and a giant sob surges from my body, without any stopping it.

"Don't cry, Roe," Mum says, getting up and hurrying to my side. Her warm embrace doesn't make me feel better, only worse. "It's alright, love."

"I'm sorry!" I cry. "I'm so sorry."

"We know."

And then I feel Dad hug me and I cry even harder.

"We forgive you."

And just like that everything is better.

OoOoOo

"They want to meet me?" Cole asks in disbelief.

"Apparently."

"Wow!" He seems a bit dumbstruck. "When?"

"I'm not sure. They didn't say," I reply. "Before the trip, I suppose."

"You told them about that, too?"

"I had to," I reply with a shrug. "Like we decided, I couldn't just run away."

Cole turns to me. "How's Violet?"

"Gorgeous," I say with a sigh.

I went to see my darling niece the other day and had to fight the urge to steal her right off of Elizabeth's breast. She is so gorgeous and adorable and yummy. I can barely contain myself.

"I wanted to steal her," I confess.

"Please tell me you didn't," Cole says.

"Don't be stupid," I say.

"Saying that to anyone else would be stupid. Saying that to you is just being on the safe side." Cole nudges me and I find myself smiling.

"You're right. No I did not steal her. We'll just have to have our own, I suppose."

Immediately the air in the room grows tense and I realize I have to seriously begin backpeddling. Cole has just tossed me a terrified half-glance and I can see I've spooked him.

"But…I mean, obviously not for a while. Ten or twenty years, perhaps. Not in the immediate future."

He clears his throat. "Right."

"I'm not pregnant," I assure him.

"Okay. Good to know." His voice is high and slightly squeaky.

We sit in awkward silence for a few moments.

"I missed you," he finally says.

"I know. I'm sorry." I turn and give his cheek a kiss. "I just had to sort everything out with my parents."

"Are you going to your house tonight?"

I nod. "But you're coming with me," I say. "And this time you're going to use my front door and not talk in a whisper."

He frowns until realization hits him. He realizes I mean meeting my parents.This seems to frighten Cole.

"You really think they want to meet me tonight, just after you're talking again?"

"This is the best time! They're both trying to get me to think they're very supportive of my decision. Trust me, it will be perfect."

"I don't know," Cole replies looking dubious.

"If I didn't know I wouldn't be bringing you," I say to him. It's a lie, but it's one of those white lies that is being told to make my nervous husband feel better. "I'll let them know ahead of time."

"Well…okay, if this is what you really want."

"More than anything," I say and kiss his forehead.

"Okay then."

"Oh, hey! I forgot to tell you. Guess what I had a dream about this morning."

"I don't know, what?" he asks.

"Our first time."

His cheeks tinge with color. "Why would you dream about that?" he asks.

I shrug. "I'm not sure." I smile at him. "Maybe it was trying to tell me how much better we are."

"You know…we haven't…consummated…"

"Really?" I ask incredulously. He nods.

Without much thought to it at all, we get onto his bed and lay down together. And then, for the first time since we got married, we make love. But we aren't doing it as two horny, lustful teenagers. We're married and it somehow feels different. It feels better and even more special.

OoOoOo

"Harry, Ginny, Elizabeth and James," Cole mutters to himself. "Michael, Alice and Violet."

We are standing outside my house, waiting to go in for dinner.

"Anything I should know?" Cole asks, fiddling nervously with his shirt collar. I reach up and adjust it for him. He looks absolutely breathtaking. I can barely stand to keep my lips off of his mouth.

"Yes," I say. "No sudden movements. And don't look my dad in the eye."

"Right. Got it."

"I'm kidding."

He whirls around to glare at me. "Don't joke!"

"Did you honestly think I was being serious? My father isn't a bull, Cole!"

"I'm serious!"

"And I'm Roe. Glad to make your acquaintance."

"I didn't put you through all this hell when I was telling my parents," Cole replies looking annoyed.

"No, you're right. You burst into you're living room screaming, This is Roe Potter, my girlfriend!" I quirk an eyebrow. "Would you like me to do that as well?"

"Yes, very much actually," Cole replies, turning to face my door again. "Please answer me seriously: Is there anything I should know?"

I sigh. "My parents have been married for twenty-one years. They fight and they make stupid jokes. They have very intense personalities and my Dad is probably going to try and stare you down. He's harmless, though, like a puppy."

Speaking of my puppy…He is such a little bastard that I am growing to hate him. The other night he peed in my bed. It was such an invasion of space! I don't even pee in my bed!

Anyways…

"My Mum giggles when she's nervous or uncomfortable, so expect to hear it all night." I pause, thinking of something else to say. "My brother and Alice live together, but they are pretending no one knows that they're living together. It's all very lame. Elizabeth and Michael had Violet. We're pretending they never cheated on me and will not mention that. Also, don't stare at Elizabeth's boobs. And yes, I know they are so much bigger than mine, but there's milk in there for her child, just remember that. Any questions?" I turn my face up to face him. He is staring at me incredulously.

"What the hell is the matter with your family?" he asks.

"Nothing," I say defensively. "You've got the freaky, perfect family, not me!"

"My family isn't freaky," Cole protests.

"You don't fight."

"We just get along."

"No one gets along that much," I say, shaking my head. "You're pod people."

"Ring the doorbell."

"We're just walking in."

I open the door before Cole can respond. I step into the hall and turn to see Cole hovering outside nervously.

"It isn't booby-trapped," I inform him.

He puts one foot over and I give a thin, whining sound and he jumps back in alarm.

"That was a joke. Another ice breaker."

"You sound like you've taken some sort of Muggle drug!"

"I can't help it I'm nervous," I admit.

"I can tell. You haven't stopped shaking since we left my house."

"Please laugh at their jokes and don't let them offend you. We can't help it."

"I'm prepared," he says, gazing around at my living room and it strikes me now that he has never seen anywhere outside of my bedroom.

"Ready?" I ask.

"Huh?"

"Mum!" I holler. "We're here."

"In the kitchen!" she responds.

"Come on," I say and take Cole's hand.

"Wait…" He digs his feet into the carpet. "If they don't like me…?"

"They will."

"If they don't?"

"They will."

"If—"

"I like you," I say firmly. "And they usually like me. So, in turn, they will like you."

"Okay."

"Roe?"

I turn and see Mum come around the corner and into the living room where we've been half arguing, half talking. She's wearing her hair down and I can tell she made an effort with the dress she is wearing. She looks very pretty, very nice, very approachable and no where near forty years old.

"Oh…hello." She giggles.

"See?" I mutter to Cole and go to hug Mum. "Please be nice," I breathe.

"Uh-huh," she says equally soft. "Hello, Cole." She pulls back from me and smiles warmly. After the briefest of pauses she walks up to him and hugs him. He seems a bit startled, but hugs her back.

"Hello, Mrs. Potter."

"Call me Ginny."

"Okay…Ginny," he says awkwardly.

"Where's Dad?" I ask.

"In the kitchen," Mum replies. "Come on." She releases Cole.

She walks down the hall and Cole and I have a second alone.

"Well, my Mum likes you," I say.

He seems relieved.

"Now…you just have to woo my dad." I smile up at him. "No pressure."

"Thanks," he says, his jaw tight.

Dad is standing over something cooking on our Muggle stove. He glances up when we come in and smiles brightly at us.

"Hey, guys. Dinner's almost ready. Cole, I hope you eat meat."

"Er…yes, I do," Cole says and gives me a half glance. "I eat meat. I eat everything—"

"Stop it," I mutter. He falls silent.

"Great. Are you thirsty?"

I nod. "Very."

"I'll get—"

"I know where they are, Dad," I say and go and fetch us some butterbeer. "Here you go." I hand one to Cole and give him a reassuring smile. So far so good. My parents have not killed Cole. They have not killed me.

"This just has to come to a sizzle and then it's done." Dad reaches for a timer and taps it with his wand. "There. Now we can go into the living room and chat."

Somehow I forgot that my parents were going to want to talk to Cole at some point during our little get together. I somehow forgot that we would have to explain some things.

Luckily James (and this will be one of the few times I say James's presence was a lucky occurrence) burst into the house, closely followed by a nervous Alice.

"Hello, family!" He says, his arms laden with flowers and wine. Oh what the fuck has he done now?

"James!" Mum says happily and goes to him, giving him a giant kiss on the cheek. "How are you?"

"Fine." He gives her another kiss on the cheek. "We're not late I hope?" Alice twitches.

"Don't worry, the food isn't even done yet," I inform him. I stand up to hug him and then hug the still nervous Alice. She gives me a thank-you smile and then sits down next to James, across from Mum and Dad and next to Cole and me on the other couch.

"So…" James says, sensing Mum and Dad want to chat with Cole and me alone. "I'm going to get myself a drink. Help me, Alice."

"Okay." She jumps up in relief and hurries after James.

The living room sinks back into awkward silence.

"So, Roe tells us you're going to live in a tent?" Dad says cheerfully.

We all jump and turn to look at him and for the first time tonight I realize he isn't quite himself. He is smiling way more than he should and hasn't pounced down on Cole yet.

"We're going abroad," I remind him, a bit irritated. "It isn't as though that is where we chose to live."

"It's exciting, isn't it?" Dad says in a very happy voice. "Ginny, isn't it exciting?"

"Oh, yes, very." Mum gives him a smile and then turns to look at me. I am trying to give her a look that tells her to get into the hall so we can chat.

"Mum, help me with something, will you?" I ask sharply. "I'll be right back."

"Don't leave me," Cole breathes furiously as I place my drink down and ignore his pleading gaze.

"So, Cole, have you ever been abroad before?" I hear Dad ask as Mum and I make our way into the den just off the living room.

"What did you do?" I ask Mum as soon as we get out of ear shot of both Dad and Cole. "And do not say you have no idea what I'm talking about."

Mum winces and twists her hands for a moment before saying, "I just loosened him up a bit." She shrugs. "He's not that different, is he?"

"He's like James on pot!" I hiss furiously. "He isn't himself!"

"It'll wear off later on tonight," Mum says quickly. "I did this for you, darling daughter."

"So you're blaming this on me?" I ask incredulously.

"I had to give you two a fighting chance in here!" Mum snaps. "Dad was ready with all these questions and little jabs…I didn't want you two to feel attacked the second you came in here so I…" She shrugs.

"What did you do?" I ask fearfully, seeing Dad laugh with a still nervous Cole.

"Well, first I made love to him—"

"Mum!" I explode, my cheeks igniting. "What have we told you about talking about that kind of stuff?"

"You asked!"

"Not about that!" I cry. "I meant what potion or spell did you use?"

"I'm not sure the exact name of it. I just brewed up what the book suggested…I think I used a bit too much of _something_ because he seems a bit too chipper."

"You think?" I cry.

I look back out into the living room and see that Cole's hunched shoulders have relaxed somewhat and wonder if Mum maybe did act with our best interests in mind. Dad does seem to be quite taken with Cole and it is much better than the screaming, mean Dad I was fully prepared for.

"Will he remember tonight?" I ask.

"I think so," Mum says. "If not, I'll just remind him."

"Okay, then…let's go back in."

We arrive just as James and Alice come back into the living room and the front door opens, bringing Elizabeth and Michael with the baby.

"Oh, there she is!" Mum says happily, scooping the sleeping baby out of her carrier. "Hello, my gorgeous darling!"

"Hi, Elizabeth, Michael." I smile at each of them.

"Hello Michael. Hello Boobs," James says to Michael and Elizabeth respectively. Elizabeth throws James an offended look and glances down at herself self-consciously.

"Hello," she says, a hand covering her breasts. I know she must have found the highest cut top she could find, but those momma bombs still found their way out somehow. "Hi, Alice. Hi, you stupid jackass. Hi Roe."

Mum has handed the baby to Dad and come back to usher everyone onto the couch. We all listen to her instructions on where to sit and file back into the small, couched-in enclosure.

As soon as Elizabeth sits down across from me my eyes, on their own accord, I swear, snap right to her breasts. I can't even defend myself because how could I not gawk? They were huge and in my face. Like two giant melons from the market down the street.

I turn to say something to Cole to see him glance at Elizabeth's breasts, away, back, away, back and then finally fix his eyes on his hands.

"Stop looking at them," I hiss as Elizabeth and Mum chatter loudly across from us. "What did I tell you?"

"I'm sorry!" Cole looks panic-stricken. "I didn't mean—"

"I think dinner's ready!" Dad says happily, literally bouncing off the couch as he heads towards the kitchen. He comes back in a moment later and says, "Did someone spill half of my sauce or something? It's almost gone!"

Alice shoots James an I-told-you-so look.

"Um…yeah. I just wanted to try it and I knocked it over." He seems to wait for a blow. "Sorry."

"Well…how was it? Good?"

"Er…fine."

"Great! I'll just whip something up."

We are silent until he leaves before James says, "Right, now who the hell is that man, because that isn't the father I know."

"Mum roofied him up," I supply helpfully.

"Honestly, I did not!" Mum snaps, her cheeks igniting. "And shut up." She gives me a warning glare.

"Mum, how could you?" Elizabeth cries. "That could be really dangerous! What if he's stuck like that?"

"Who the hell cares?" James says. "I'm taking his broom for a ride."

"Emotions are not something to be toyed with, James."

"Thank you, Elizabeth, supreme ruler and worrier over everyone's feelings."

Dad comes back in and settles himself between Mum and Elizabeth just as Elizabeth was about to come back with what I wanted to be a spectacular comeback, which would have resulted in their fighting. But just then, the baby began to sniffle and cry.

"See, you've upset Violet!" Elizabeth accuses. "It's alright, love," she coos, suddenly turning all maternal and whatnot. "Hold on, darling." She takes her out of the bouncer Dad put her in.

And then…she does the unthinkable. The unforgivable. The unsanitary and the unwanted. She whips out her boob in the middle of our living room.

"Woah, woah, woah!" James cries, covering his eyes as though blinded. "What the hell are you doing?"

I have also slammed my eyes shut and stood up. My body reacted to this fearful situation and decided to settle on the flight part of 'fight or flight'.

"It's just my boob," Elizabeth says, as though she can't figure out why we're yelling.

"This is natural," Mum says.

"But…" I open my eyes to see Violet sucking away, not aware of the havoc she has created. "We have company!" I gesture at Cole and all eyes turn to him.

"I'm sorry, how impolite," Elizabeth says. "Cole, do you mind if I breastfeed?"

"Er…um…I…" Cole stutters, startled by the questions.

"Yes he minds!" I snap. "Your boob is showing! This isn't a brothel!"

"Really, Roe, calm down!" Mum says, shaking her head. "I used to do the same thing. Elizabeth should not be ashamed to breastfeed her own child in the living room where she grew up in."

"So I can just whip out my boob right now?"

"Please don't," James says, "I'm going to be sick as it is." He does look nauseous.

"It's just my boob!" Elizabeth cries.

"I'm not bothered by it," Alice says timidly.

"Thank you, Alice!" Elizabeth beams at her. "Alice doesn't mind my boob."

"Alice isn't related to your boob," James replies, "I am."

"Dad doesn't mind!"

"Dad isn't going to react to anything!" I retort. "Hey, Dad, Cole and I shagged today!"

Cole makes another startled noise, as though he can't quite believe I just uttered those words. All eyes turn back to us and Dad says, "Well, you two are married. It is to be expected, but congratulations anyways."

"See?" I say to Elizabeth triumphantly. "Nothing fazes him."

"What is he on, exactly, because I've been looking for something new. Can I have the exact name and ingredient list for that spell?" James says to Mum.

"No!" Mum and Alice snap.

"James, you pothead, it's a relaxer!" I say to him. "All it did was relax him."

"I can use some relaxation."

"What does that mean?" Alice asks in a sharp voice. "Why aren't you relaxed?"

"I was just saying what with work and—"

"And…what?" Alice asks, her voice growing a bit dangerous.

"It isn't you, Alice," James says exasperatedly.

"Yes it is!" she insists.

"Earth to Alice!" James cries. "The world does not orbit around you. I have other things bothering me besides you!"

"I bother you?" she cries.

"Very nice, James," I say to him. "Way to fuck up cleanly and smoothly."

"Well at least I didn't lose my virginity in a coat room to a boy I wasn't even dating!" James hurls back.

My mouth falls open in horror as Mum cries, "Roe!"

I open my mouth to say something, but Mum cuts in, "You two waited until you were married, didn't you? Isn't that what you told me the other night?"

I am about to tell her the truth when Cole cuts in, "That is right." He nods. James rolls his eyes and takes a gulp of his drink.

"Cole…" I say.

"We waited."

"No we didn't," I say.

"Yes we did."

"No we didn't."

"Shut up, Roe," Cole pleads.

"James is right. I lost my virginity in a coat room at the Ministry Ball last summer right after Dad's little speech." I turn to Dad, who hasn't batted an eye and say sarcastically, "How's that one feel, Dad?"

"I hope you were careful," is all he says.

"Well, that's just wonderful!" Mum snaps. "Your grandmother hangs her cloak in that room!"

"In all fairness we've shagged in there as well," James says, gesturing between him and Alice. "It was very cramped."

"You know, I really didn't mind it," I say to him.

"Enough!" Mum bellows. "I will not hear another word about my children's deflowering in cloak rooms."

"Oh, that wasn't where I was deflowered," James says.

"Of course not," Mum snaps.

"Well, we didn't do it in there," Michael interjects.

"Not in front of the baby!" Elizabeth cries.

"It's attached to your boob," I say. "I don't think she cares."

"Still." Elizabeth adjusts Violet. "We shouldn't talk like this in front of her."

"So what if she hears the words penis or vagina or…nipple?" James asks, causing everyone in the room, except for Cole and Dad, to shout his name in horror.

"Never say nipple in front of me again!" I cry.

"What's the big deal? It's just a word. Nipple."

"Stop it!" Alice cries.

"We've all got them."

"For the love of all that is holy, shut up, James!" I snap.

Across from me Mum refills her wine glass and downs it all in one gulp. She then refills it again.

"Mum, make him stop."

"Stop saying nipple, James."

"Fine." He rolls his eyes. "I can still say penis and vagina, right? How about pussy?"

"No!" we all scream.

"My baby is going to be scarred for life!" Elizabeth groans, gazing down at Violet's nursing head.

"They're just words!"

"Stop saying them!" we bellow.

"Isn't it just great when the entire family comes together like this?" Dad asks, a huge smile plastered on his face.

OoOoOo

"So that was your family?" Cole asks as we lay in bed together.

"Yes. I'm sorry."

"No, it's fine…I like them. I had fun tonight."

After we all screamed ourselves hoarse in the living room we went in and ate a relatively peaceful dinner and dessert. By the end, though, Mum was completely smashed, what with all the wine she ingested to forget the earlier conversations.

And by the time we were cleaning up, the effects of Dad's potion wore off. He burst into the kitchen and yelled, "You did what in the cloak room? After my speech?" before a tipsy Mum managed to drag him off to bed. It is probably the only time in my life I hoped she thoroughly shagged him to help him forget what he heard.

"Well good, because that was a tame night. If Violet hadn't been there…"

"You always fight like that?"

"It's the only way we know how to communicate with one another. The higher and louder our voices get the more of an understanding we gain."

"It's funny."

I smile at him and turn over in bed, where he's laying next to me. I kiss his nose.

"You don't know how much of relief that is."

We lapse into silence until something begins to nag at me.

"…How many girls have you been with?"

I am currently thanking the heavens that I thought to switch out the lights, lest Cole see how red my cheeks have become. Though it would be near impossible for him to clearly see my face I turn it to the side.

"Does it matter?" he asks carefully.

"Kind of," I say quietly.

"But I'm married to you and I don't sleep with anyone else now."

"I should hope not," I say. "Just tell me."

"Why?"

"I know I lost my virginity in a cloak room…but I don't know where you did."

"Does it really matter who I've shagged before?"

"Yes!" I say.

"Why?" he protests.

"Cole, since I let you inside me, I care where you've been."

"Well for the past year and a half I haven't been anywhere else."

"Aw. That's sweet, but I'm not dropping it."

"Fine." He pauses. "Three."

"Three?" I ask, flabbergasted.

"Three," he confirms.

"That's it?"

"Wow, thanks," he says sarcastically.

"No," I say quickly, "I was just sure there were more!"

"Why?"

"Because Hogwarts was fairly small and gossipy. Word traveled."

"No. Only three."

"Who?"

Cole sighs. "You, Rebecca Swallows—" Oh, that skank…stupid bitch. "—and Petra."

"Petra?" I repeat numbly. "You shagged Petra?"

"We were fifteen," he says quickly. "And she dumped me for Holden and because…I think that's when I really started liking you and she sensed I wasn't into her anymore." He shrugs. "It was a summer fling before Fifth Year that lasted three weeks."

"You never told me that," I say weakly.

"Well, you've been with Michael and he was sitting in your living room."

"That's different," I snap. "We never shagged."

"You gave him—"

"Five," I snap. "Once before he cheated on me, one when he wanted to break up with me, two when we were way too drunk to notice, and another because I was bored." I give him a look, though he can't see me. "I never shagged him."

"Well, Petra and I shagging was embarrassing. We did it once and it was so awful we couldn't even talk to each other. She dumped me and we pretended the entire thing never happened."

I give him a hard look. We can just barely make out our faces in the dim moonlight coming in from my window. "Okay."

"You're the only person I've ever enjoyed shagging," Cole tells me quietly.

"Really?" I say breathlessly.

"You're the only person I've ever wanted to be with," he admits.

My cheeks light up and I find myself saying, "When did you know you had a crush on me?"

I feel him shrug against the covers. "I don't know. One day you just looked different to me. And then I couldn't stop thinking about you. I used to tease you just to get you to notice me. A glare from you was better than nothing." His head turns. "And then one day I realized you liked me back."

I blush again. "You did?"

"Uh-huh." He nods. "And I knew that there was hope."

"How did you guess?" I ask.

"I caught you looking at me one day," he says and I groan. "It struck me as a bit weird, kind of creepy, but you blushed when I caught you. You immediately looked down and then you knocked a vial over. Demi started freaking out and you looked up at me twice before helping her clean it up." He is silent for a moment. "I used to look at you, too. That's how I knew. You did the same thing I did."

"I didn't know how to tell you," I say to him.

"Me either."

"Yes you did!" I say to him. "I knew you liked me almost immediately. You were always asking me out and telling me how pretty I was."

"That was me being stupid. I knew I was messing up, but I couldn't help it. I desperately wanted you to take me seriously."

I sigh. "I did, but it was complicated."

"Indeed."

And then another questions pops into my mind, but I find myself way too embarrassed to ask it. I know we're married, but I still feel a bit shy about telling each other absolutely everything.

"How did you feel when we first shagged?" I ask quietly.

I can almost feel Cole's blush radiate onto me.

"Amazing," he breathes.

"Really?"

"I couldn't believe it," he admits. "Here we were standing in this small, cramped cloak room and you were telling me you wanted to shag me. I couldn't believe that the only thing I had been thinking about since I was thirteen was standing in front of me removing her dress. And suddenly I felt nervous and frightened and embarrassed as though it were my first time. The only thing that helped me was that you seemed just as nervous, if not more so.

"I couldn't wrap my head around the idea that you were letting me touch you and kiss you in ways I only ever dreamed about in private. For a moment I was almost positive that you were just kidding or playing some sick joke, but then I knew you were serious."

"I didn't choose you because you were a Malfoy," I say. "Well, maybe at first that was my intention…but something snapped inside of me. I just felt as though I needed to do this with you before all my courage left me again. I knew you would be kind and nice and sweet. I knew you wouldn't hurt me. I could just tell it would be fine with you…and it was." I touch his cheek and feel its warmth. "You were the only person I could see myself loosing my virginity to." I kiss him. "I hope I wasn't as awful as I think I might have been."

"Are you kidding?" he asks incredulously. "You could have punched me in the nose and I still would have…well…" He trails off. "The second you slipped your dress off I almost lost control. It was almost too much…being inside of you. It's like heaven. It was like every dream I had ever had only better because it was real and you were encouraging me."

"I'm sorry I panicked."

"It's alright."

"I just suddenly realized I was lying under the person I was in love with and I freaked."

"I understood then and I understand now…A part of me knew I shouldn't have shagged you in the first place. I sort of guessed you weren't doing it just for the hell of it…but I was a horny teenaged boy."

"I understand that as well," I say with a smile and kiss him. "I would have probably done something stupid if it weren't for you."

"What…erm…" He clears his throat. "What was it like for you?"

"Scary and intoxicating," I whisper. "Overwhelming. I had to keep reminding myself that I was letting Cole Malfoy touch me. That you were really touching me. I felt a little guilty. I knew how much you liked me and I knew I wasn't being completely honest with you…but the second you…touched me I couldn't find the strength to pull away from you." I turn to him. "Regardless of how I was feeling, I knew deep down that I wanted it just as much as you did."

"I love you."

I beam at him in the darkness.

"I love you, too."

I kiss him, but a second later the door flies open and light from the hallway blinds us.

"What the—" I blink rapidly. "Dad!"

"You don't mind if I just…" He places a chair in front of our door. He turns back to us. "And I'm keeping my door open as well, so no funny business. I have excellent hearing."

"Funny business?" I ask, blushing. "How old are you? Ninety?"

"Goodnight," he says and walks out of the room, flips the hallway light off and goes into his room.

"He's crazy," I fume to Cole.

"It's okay," he says, snuggling further against me. "Go to sleep."

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

I turn over after Cole has fallen asleep about fifteen minutes later to see Dad hovering outside my bedroom, looking embarrassed and nervous.

"Oh, Merlin…I love you, Dad. Go to bed. You'll give yourself wrinkles."

"He makes you happy?"

I freeze, startled by his question. "Very."

"Right…" After a brief pause he takes the chair away from my door. "Goodnight, Roe." He smiles at me and I smile back as he shuts the door over.

Enveloped in the darkness I feel more loved and sated than I've ever felt in my entire life.

OoOoOo

A/N Not the end, a few more chapters to go. Hope you enjoyed the meeting of the family with Cole.


	21. Chapter 21

"If you put the tent up like that then it is going to fall over and smother us to death in the middle of the night, you stupid son of a bitch!" I holler for what feels like the thousandth time today. "Can't you just read the instructions?"

"I know what I am doing, you whiny nag!" Cole snarls. He untangles himself and steps away from the tent to gaze down at it in disgust. "If you could kindly shut up for two seconds then I could hear myself think."

I close my mouth for a full minute before I say, "Is your inner voice telling you to use the instructions?"

Cole glowers at me and then says in a small voice, "Yes" before snatching the instructions from me and reading over them. 

"I don't know why you wouldn't ask that kind wizard we saw a while back what the spell was!" I give another giant huff as the summer sun begins to assault me. "It was no big deal and he was happy to help."

"You don't understand," Cole replies in a mumble. "It's a guy thing."

I give a giant groan and roll my eyes. "That is your pitiful example of an excuse?" I place a hand on my hip. "Men have been using that for ages and as soon as a woman tries to then we're labeled as cold hearted feminists."

"Or nags," Cole mumbles loud enough for me to hear. "Hand me that crooked bar over there, will you?"

"What do you say?" I ask mockingly.

"Now before we have to sleep in a bug infested field," Cole snarls. 

"Here," I snarl and toss it at him. I hear it clink against the ground and turn my back on him. The sun begins to dip slowly into the sky. "Maybe I should owl my dad to come out here and show you?"

"And then I can take off my clothes and have a nightmare," Cole responds in a mutter. 

"Why won't you accept any help? From anyone? Even me?"

"I'm a man. I can do this all on my own."

"What is this, your first day shaving? Strap on some balls and be a man by asking someone how to put this fucking tent up so I don't have to sleep out here!"

"I'm doing my best. I want to do this, the first thing we do as a married couple, by ourselves. So, please, take a minute to enjoy your surroundings and experience the beauty of Mother Nature."

"Oh, yeah, she's a beauty," I mutter sarcastically as I slap a mosquito on my neck. 

"If I can't get this by nightfall then I'll owl someone for help."

"If our owls even come back," I say. "The stink of failure might have been way too much."

"Your support is staggering."

Cole and I got into a major row about a half hour ago. It was probably due to the fact that Cole wanted to enjoy the entire day with me. He surprised me by Apparating a four hour hike from where our tent was going to be set up so that we could bond out in nature. I fell twice, skinned my knee and had a branch dipped in sap slapped into my face. Plus, we were in the sun all day and I think I may have gotten a pretty bad sunburn. My entire body aches. 

After we finally got to the little field near the lake, six hours after we Apparated to this god-forsaken country, Cole informs me that he doesn't know the exact spell to bring the tent upright. He tried about, I don't know, a million, before giving up and attempting to do it the muggle way. 

A nice wizarding couple (dressed in long, flowing robes) passed us about three hours ago and asked if they could help us. Cole, being the "manly man" he is, refused quite rudely and they left in a huff before I could tell them that I did not have too much dignity to refuse free help. 

I could be more supportive, but I am covered in bug bites and what seems to be a vicious sun burn. I stopped smiling down at him about an hour ago.

I sit down in a huff and watch him struggle for another minute before my heart gives a tweak at just how frustrated he must be. 

"Let's try another couple of spells," I suggest. I slide my wand from my bag and shake my wrist to get into the groove. 

"It won't work."

"Start saying as many as you know," I say and then start. 

It is about two seconds later, and various spells, that the tent suddenly pops upright and perfect.

We both stare at it for a second before I hear Cole ask, "Which spell was the right one?"

"I have no idea," I reply. "Let's go in."

I grab my bag and stumble into the tent. For a second I am stunned as I straighten up and gaze around at the inside of the tent. It is one room. There is a small kitchen area to my right and across the room is a giant bay window. There is no furniture.

"Where's all the furniture?" I ask, looking around. 

"Fucking street vendor," Cole swears. "Told me it came fully furnished! I paid an extra four galleons for some crappy, nasty furniture and there's nothing!" He walks in and looks around in anger. "There isn't even a cushion on the window seat!" He gestures at it and I see it's true. 

I walk over to him, leap into his arms and wrap my legs around him. 

"It's perfect," I inform him. 

"It's crap."

"It's perfect crap." 

"Where are we going to sleep?" he asks, glancing around at the empty space. 

"On the floor."

"Were you not complaining just a second ago that you didn't want to sleep on the ground like a dog?" 

"Look around, Cole; this is where we are going to spend an entire year of our lives together. We can get furniture in the morning."

"I guess so," he says. He places me back on the floor and looks around. 

We had planned to spend the first night getting settled in the tent and enjoying the quiet of the surrounding field. However, with no furniture to sit on, and only a giant comforter around us, it wasn't very comfortable. Plus, it had taken about three hours longer than we expected to get the tent itself up, and it was now too dark to enjoy the surroundings. 

"What the hell is that sound?" I ask shortly after nightfall. We had been sitting in complete silence. 

"Huh?"

"That sound. Listen." He does so. "What do you think that is? It isn't a bear is it?" I ask nervously. I grip my wand tightly and wait for his response. 

"Chirping?" he replies. "No, I think it's a group of crickets."

"Why are they being so loud?"

"I haven't a clue," he responds. 

I sigh and then look down at my arms, which have been throbbing for five minutes. My sunburn is incredibly awful. I look exactly like a tomato. 

"Look at me!" I say. "Stupid sun!"

"Don't curse the sun," Cole says. "It isn't the sun's fault you refused to put sunblock on."

"I never burn!" I snap. "I always tan."

"You are the palest person in the entire world. Ghosts and corpses admire just how translucent you are. On top of that, you are never tan, you liar."

"I tan in the summer!" I object. 

"No you don't."

"You've only seen me this past summer and I wasn't tan because I was inside all the time!"

"That isn't true, either. We were out plenty of times," Cole reminds me. "Just admit that you're wrong and burnt."

"No," I say. "I will be tan by the end of this year if it kills me."

"Heat stroke has proven fatal before."

"Shut up, Cole."

"They are pretty loud."

"What are you talking about?" I snap.

"Those crickets."

"Sure. I guess."

"You just said so yourself."

"I'm not objecting with you! I just said sure!"

"You had a tone," Cole says. 

I groan and hang my head. "Why are we fighting?"

"Because you're burnt, grumpy, hungry and tired. I'm tired, hungry, angry at the street vendor, and uncomfortable."

"I won't be able to sleep for hours," I say. 

"Me either." Cole suddenly turns to me, a smile on his face. "We could…you know."

"Not tonight, Cole! I'm all burnt!"

"I don't mind."

"I do."

"It always conks you out and the sooner you're asleep the sooner we can wake up and buy furniture and food."

It takes him a few more minutes to convince me.

"Fine," I say and roll my eyes, "but be careful!"

"Uh-huh," Cole says, though I don't think he hears me. He is too busy yanking his shirt off and tugging his pants down. 

I slowly peel off my shirt and slip my shorts down. I wince when I reach around to get my bra unhooked. My skin feels as though it is pulled too tight. Every touch aches an awful amount. 

When I glance at Cole it is to see that he is eyeing my discomfort with an amused face. I clench my jaw and ignore him as my bra finally comes undone. 

"Ouch, ouch, ouch," I say as I get the straps off of my shoulders. "Just for this time we are doing it when you have a stomach ache or broken ribs."

"No problem," he replies. 

"I could say anything right now and you'd agree to it," I mutter to myself as I yank my knickers down. I glance down at myself and feel my mouth drop open just as I hear a stifled laugh from Cole. "So help me—"

"I'm not laughing," Cole says immediately. 

I wore a tank top and short-shorts today. There is literally one giant white area on my body and then the rest is completely red. My chest to the cleavage of my breasts, my arms, my upper thighs and legs and face are completely burnt while my breasts, stomach and knicker region is completely white. 

Cole gives another laugh and I glare at him. 

"It isn't funny! If this were you you'd be screaming at me to stop laughing! You're being so unsympathetic, Cole, not to mention a jackass."

"I'm sorry. You're right." The smile on his face disappears, though the corner of his mouth twitches as though he desperately wants to laugh. 

"Let's just do this so I can go to sleep," I snap. 

I slide next to Cole and he goes to kiss me, but I turn my face away and he comes in contact with my neck. 

"You're not even going to kiss me?" he asks. 

"Nope, Giggles, I'm not."

"Fine."

He kisses my neck and tries to wrap his arms around me but I cringe and pull back. His hand touches my shoulder a bit too enthusiastically and I cry out. 

"Sorry, sorry, sorry!" he says immediately. 

"That hurt!" I bellow.

"I know, I'm sorry," he says again. He gives a giant sigh. "Do you want to stop?"

I, in turn, sigh as well. "No." I figure if we stop then we are going to sit in angry silence for the rest of the night. 

"Then can I kiss you?"

"If you have to," I say.

He does kiss me, but keeps his hands very far away from me until I feel him begin to lose balance. I slide underneath him and he rests his weight on his arms. 

"Okay…" he says slowly and slowly begins. 

He slips and grabs at my shoulder to steady himself and I cry out again. 

"Cole, that hurts!"

"I'm sorry. Okay, it's in. Everything's alright."

"That's easy for you to say, your skin isn't on fire!"

"Oh, is that what I do to you?" he asks, shooting me a brief smile. 

"Shut up, Cole," I say, rolling my eyes. 

The entire time we're shagging the noise the crickets are making is almost a distraction. They get softer as I reach a climax, but as soon as I do the sound begins again with a vengeance. 

"That was nice," Cole says, a goofy smile plastered on his face like usual. He sits up and yawns and clearly looks ready for bed. "I'm going to use the loo." 

"Where is there a loo?" 

"Right over…" Cole glances around. "Are you kidding me?" He lets out a stream of colorful curses.

"Didn't you ask to look inside when you bought it?"

"They guy said it would ruin the magic!"

"I think he meant the transaction." I tap my bags and enlarge all of the things I have packed for the trip. Sifting through the folded clothes I find a giant t-shirt and yank it on. 

"Well, I've got to pee. How about you?"

"Yeah," I say. 

"Okay, we'll go together and in the morning I'll find out how to install a bathroom on this piece of crap tent."

"Fine."

Cole gets up and stalks up out of the tent. I stand, wincing the entire time, and follow him out. 

"Aren't you going to get dressed?" I ask as he glances around for a private spot. 

"It's only you and me out here," he replies. "I think I'm going to start walking around nude. It's very freeing. You should try it."

"No thanks," I say. My sunburn is starting to make me feel a bit ill. 

"I'm going to go through these bushes over here. You go somewhere else."

"You're going to leave me alone in the dark?"

"I don't want you to hear me peeing," he says. 

I turn and start walking, all the while mumbling, "He can shag me, but Merlin forbid I hear him peeing."

I hear Cole push his way through some bushes. My reluctance to stray too far from the tent causes me to pee out in the open. I hope I pee on some of those fucking crickets. 

When I get back inside the tent I see that Cole has made us two beds. He gives me a smile that I do not return. My grumpy demeanor will surely last for a few days until my sunburn goes away. 

"So that we don't rub against each other I made us two separate beds."

"Thanks," I snap. 

He kisses my forehead. "Goodnight."

"Uh-huh," I reply. I glance around again. "Where are we supposed to bathe?"

"I'll figure it out in the morning."

I get down on the makeshift bed he has made and place a hand under my head. My eyes droop shut. 

A while later, though I think it may have only been forty-five minutes later, I half wake to feel Cole stroking my hair, before I fall back asleep again. 

When I open my eyes again it is to see the tent filled with soft light and the sound of Cole moving around hurriedly. 

"Are you awake?" he asks me.

"Kind of," I mumble. "What time is it?"

"I don't know…I think I did something stupid."

"More stupid than buying a tent without seeing what was inside of it?" I ask. 

"We should have taken our wands to see where we were going," Cole says instead of answering my question. The tone of his voice causes me to instantly become alert. It's high and panicky. 

"Why?" I ask, turning over. I blink rapidly. 

When I finally focus on Cole it is only to gasp loudly and exclaim, "What is that all over you?"

"I think it's poison ivy," he moans. 

"How did you…Where did you get it?"

"I think it was from the bushes last night when I went to pee!" 

I stand and go over to him to see the extent of the rashes that have spread all over his body. 

"It's everywhere!" 

"I know," he moans pitifully. 

"Cole! It's even on your—"

"I know, Roe!" he snaps. 

"I think you should see a doctor or something! I don't know how to treat poison ivy! I mean…to this extent!" I walk around him to see that most of his back is covered in it. "Did you roll around in it, or something?"

"No!" He glares at me. "I must have rubbed against it when I pushed through them."

"I told you to put clothes on!" I stand back and eye him. "Why don't you listen to me?"

"Believe me. If I thought I was going to get poison ivy then I would have peed somewhere else!"

"Or put clothes on!"

"Being naked is freeing!"

"Being naked gets you poison ivy on your willy!"

We both stand, glaring at each other. 

"What are we going to do?" Cole asks finally. 

"You aren't going to do anything. I'm going to Apparate to the drop-off from yesterday and then I am going to take the fireplace to Diagon Alley to find you and me some medicine. You stay here. Do not itch anything. If it gets really bad then I want you to go for a swim or something in the lake."

I walk over to my bags and tug them open and begin to search through them. I have a bit of a headache and a stomachache. All I want to do is take a nice long, cold bath and forget all about yesterday. Instead I am wincing in pain as I pull on a pair of knickers. My skin hurt so bad I can not even put on a bra. I tug a sundress over my head and then yank my hair back into a knot. I then grab the small change purse with some money.

"I'll be back. Please stay still and don't touch any of my things."

"Bring back food!" Cole cries as I leave with a crack. 

When I open my eyes I am in the small building in the town where Cole and I arrived this morning. The wizard behind the desk glances up at me and raises an eyebrow. 

"Suntan lotion usually prevents such extreme sunburns," he informs me. 

"I usually tan," I snap. 

"Mm-hmm. They all do," he says sarcastically and rolls his eyes. 

I ignore him and walk over to the fireplace and step in. After taking a handful of floo powder, I cry, "Diagon Alley" and get swept off towards London. 

After painfully bumping my way past countless gates I finally feel my feet land. Wincing and swearing in pain, I step out of the gate and brush myself off. 

Diagon Alley is relatively deserted as I head up the street towards the Apothecary. The bell above the door clinks as I walk in and the small woman near the back waves to me. 

"Good morning!" she says cheerily. "Can I help you with…Oh my…" Her eyes widen as she sees how red I am. 

"I got a bit burnt yesterday," I say in a dignified manner. "Do you have a remedy?"

"This right here works," she says, snatching a bottle off the shelf. "Dab lightly on the burnt area and it should be gone in twelve hours…or fifteen, in your case."

"Thank you," I say gratefully, taking it from her. 

"Anything else I can help you with?"

"My husband has poison ivy."

"Oh, dear," she says, giving me a sympathetic look. 

"It's pretty bad and it's everywhere."

"We have basic calamine lotion which helps a bit…but if it is really extreme then we have this potion he can drink. How much of his body is covered?"

"It's everywhere," I say pointedly. 

"Right…The potion then." She hands it to me. "Anything else?"

As though being covered in poison ivy and sunburn isn't enough. 

"No, that's all." 

I pay her and head back into Diagon Alley. My first stop is a small bakery where I pick up a few essentials: cupcakes, brownies, bread, two strips of pizza and a jug of pumpkin juice. 

When I get back to the tent it is to see Cole busily scratching at a patch of skin on his arm. 

"I said don't scratch, Cole!"

"You have no idea how much this itches!"

"Here." I thrust the potion in his hand. "Take this and relax."

He downs it in one gulp and winces. "That tasted awful!"

"Can you rub some of this on my back?" I hand him to lotion and he does so. It starts to tingle the moment it makes contact with my skin and a second later begins to freeze. I rub the entire bottle on my burnt body and then stand in the middle of the room until it dries. Once it does so I sink back onto my makeshift bed and grab the giant bag of bakery goods. 

"What's in there?" Cole asks. 

"Breakfast," I respond, handing him a cupcake. "Your favorite."

"Thanks." He eats it in one gulp. "I'm sorry I was being an arse yesterday."

I smile at him. "We were both being mean."

He leans down to kiss me, but I shake my head. 

"Not until you're ivy free." I give him a sympathetic look. "Sorry."

"It's fine." He eats another cupcake and sighs as he gazes around the room. The inside of tent is very much like a studio apartment in the city, now that I think about it. "I like it here."

"In this one bedroom, no bathroom but two stoved tent?"

"Anywhere with you is better than anywhere else."

"Aw, Cole! That's sweet." I lick frosting off my finger. "We're still not having sex."

"Fine." He moodily digs into another cupcake. 

We spend the rest of the day lounging around, napping, eating, bickering and swimming. When the sun finally sets, Cole lays out a blanket and we lay next to each other watching the stars. The crickets begin to chirp again. 

"It's nice out here," I say softly. 

Cole turns to look at me. "I did mean what I said, Roe. It is better wherever you are."

"I know," I reply, "and we're still not having sex."

Cole grins at me. "Let's go to sleep."

"Okay."

My sunburn feels better, but he still has some poison ivy that is slowly fading away. 

I push our blankets together and lay down next to him. 

Just as we are falling I sleep I mutter, "Why are you still naked?"

"It's my new thing," he mumbles before we both drift off.

OoOoOo

When I wake up in the morning my sunburn is completely gone and Cole is completely poison ivy free. 

We dress and ready ourselves for a full day of shopping and building a bathroom onto our little tent. I can already tell that it is going to be another strained day between the two of us. Cole can feel it, too, because he's being extra nice to me as we prepare to leave. 

"You look beautiful this morning."

"Thank you. You look very handsome."

It's all complete bull shit. We're trying to keep a good attitude before we start shopping. 

We head out. 

I want to get everything ready before I see Demi and Frank again. She took the news of our marriage a bit badly. In fact, it was worse than my parents. I had put it off as long as I could, but when Cole found out I hadn't told her, he got pretty angry, so I had to cave and do it. 

I took her out to lunch; figuring witnesses might be needed, depending on what mood she was in. 

We said our hellos and then we ordered. I nervously drank two waters before I worked up the courage to confess to her what happened. 

"Demi—"

"Roe, what do you think of this coming December?"

"I have to…For what?"

"My wedding, silly!" she had responded. "Frank finally agreed to do it this year, as long as I sacrificed a few things on my own end. Let me tell you, I definitely won." She beamed at me. "So, December…what do you think?"

"A winter wedding," I replied. "It'll be pretty."

"I know it will be cold, but we'll do it inside and everything." She sucked in a deep breath and beamed across the table at me. 

"You look so happy."

"I am so happy!"

"I got married, Demi."

"I think I'm going to get a salad here, it's great." Her eyes snapped down to the menu as though I haven't spoken. 

"Demi…"

"Yeah?"

"Did you hear me a second ago?" I asked.

"Yes, you said you wanted to get married." She gave me a sympathetic look. "It'll happen for you soon. Maybe not this year, as you two still need to get your stuff together, but soon."

"We have our stuff together!" I retorted furiously. 

She gave me a look. "You know what I mean!"

"I don't, actually," I replied coldly. "What are you implying?"

"Didn't you mention a while ago that you wanted to live with him first?" she asked. "That is only why I mentioned anything."

"Oh." I took another sip of water. "We did—"

"See! Wait a while."

"We can't," I replied. 

"I know it can be tempting. Believe me, I was offering Frank millions of things before he decided to get married this year. Sex five times a week is a small price to pay for a December and isn't that big of a deal, anyways. It's only Tuesday and we've done it four times already."

"Four times?" I asked, completely distracted. "How is that even possible?"

"Once before I came here, once yesterday and twice on Sunday."

"Twice on Sunday?" I asked, flabbergasted. 

She shrugged. "We got bored. Anyways," she rolled her eyes and smiled at me, "I don't mind having sex with Frank. Just don't promise Cole anymore than five. I was dead tired last week by Thursday." She took a sip of tea. "Hey! Maybe you two should wait until next spring? Wouldn't that be cute? A nice, spring wedding?"

"We can't wait," I replied. 

"It's exciting, isn't it?"

"No. We can't wait because…we got married, Demi."

She stared at me for a moment before bursting into laughter. I cringed and waited for her to stop. When she saw that I was serious she stopped laughing almost instantly. 

"You what?" she shouted. 

"We got married," I repeated. 

"When?" she bellowed. 

"Last week. Right after graduation."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I…forgot," I said weakly.

She sucked in air like a raging bull and said in a deadly tone, "You forgot?"

"I got so swept up with the baby and then my parents were so pissed about it! We hardly talked all week and only really started yesterday when I took Cole to meet my parents."

"You forgot?" she snapped. 

"I didn't do it on purpose, Demi!"

"How could you do that to me! I thought what we had meant something, Roe! I thought I meant something to you! I guess it didn't and I guess I sure as hell didn't!" 

"Demi, what the heck are you talking about?"

I realized halfway through her screams that the entire restaurant was staring at us in shock. 

Demi stood to leave as I watched in shock. 

"I'm going!" She threw down some coins and I jumped as they clinked against the table. "You are dead to me, Roe Potter. Dead!" 

The glass doors nearly shattered when she slammed out. I could only stand there and gape at her in horror as I watch her back walk down the sidewalk and then out of sight. Once she was gone from my sight I slumped back into my chair and put my head in my hand. 

"Dear?" I glanced up at the sound of a timid voice. "I'm sorry to be a bother, but I couldn't help overhearing you and your little friend a minute ago. I just wanted to say that I that I have a daughter who could be perfect for you! She's quiet and polite!"

"Wha—Wait, I'm not—"

"It's alright, dear."

"No! No! I'm married!" But she walked away from me to go fetch her and apparently didn't hear me. Red-faced, I gathered my things and walked from the little pub, desperate to get home.

Demi wouldn't answer my calls and I finally had to floo my way in and then press myself past Frank who had been ordered to keep me out. He's pretty strong, but I know his weak points and quickly had him backing down. 

She listened as I explained the whole thing, but didn't really seem to forgive me just yet. She did agree to come to our new place last week and we decided on a date next week for lunch. 

OoOoOo

"That's ugly and impractical."

"You're ugly and impractical."

"That's not a very nice thing to say to me," Cole says as we decide over which bed to get. "Roe, it is going to take up the entire space we have."

"So?" I ask for the thousandth time. "It's a freaking water bed! How kickass is that?"

"You get seasick!"

"That was one time on a stupid boat tour and it was probably because I was sick and James was there. This bed will not make me sick."

"It's orange."

"You like orange."

"No I don't."

I fold my arms. "Fine. But just you wait until you find something you want and then we'll see what happens."

"Happily anticipating it," Cole replies as we move further into the store. "How about this—"

"No," I reply immediately. 

Cole turns to me with a forced smile. "I can see this is going to be a very fun marriage."

"Fine. Which one do you like?"

"This one." He points at it. "It's big enough for the two of us and it isn't orange."

I go over to it and then sit down. "Comfy," I say. I lay back and feel Cole climb in next to me. "Much more comfortable than a floor."

"It is," Cole agrees. 

"I could fall asleep," I say with a yawn.

"So we'll get this one?"

"Whatever," I say sleepily. 

OoOoOo

Cole had to wake me up ten minutes later and we finished our day of shopping. We bickered insanely over everything, but once at home with everything set up, it looked fantastic. 

We bought a fun little rug that lies below an antique coffee table from a tiny store just off the main road in Diagon Alley. There is a giant, over-stuffed green couch in front of the coffee table. We bought a small kitchen table and four chairs that sit near the kitchen area. On the other side of the room is our bed, my vanity, an armoire and a small closet for Cole. 

A "specialist" had to be called in to help get a bathroom added. It was worth the money to have it built in knowing I would never have to pee outside again. Well, unless I was drunk. 

I made a special request that we have a nice, large bath. As soon as the man was gone I sat inside of it in my clothes and thought of how much I was going to love taking baths in here.

Cole and I stocked up our fridge and cabinets with food and dishes. We ate a nice meal that Cole cooked for us. I have tried cooking on more than one occasion and though I am not exactly bad at it, it tends to make me very nervous. I usually end up sipping wine to calm myself down and by the time dinner is served I am so drunk I pass out. Well, at least that's what happened the last time I tried to cook for Cole. He thought it was funny and insists I am a very hilarious, horny drunk person.

After dinner we stood and surveyed our little space. It already has a homey, lived in feeling that I so desperately wanted. It looks as though we've lived in here for years as opposed to two tense days. 

"What happens when we pack up?" I ask.

"Everything stays the same," Cole replies. "When we go to Greece next month everything will be the same when we reopen the tent."

"Nice!" I say excitedly. I nod happily. "This is going to be nice."

Cole nods as well and surveys the room through his own eyes. I could only wonder what exactly he was thinking, as he wouldn't fess up on the details.

"I'm going to take a bath," he announces suddenly. "I smell like sweat."

I lean in to take a whiff and reply, "Not bad."

"Yeah?" He lifts an arm and sniffs. "What do I smell, then?"

I am about to shrug when he leans in and sniffs me. He instantly snaps back and plasters a smile on his face. 

"You should probably take one after me," he says kindly, patting my arm. 

I open my mouth in offense as he walks into the bathroom. As soon as the door closes over I lift my arm and sniff for myself. 

"I guess I forgot deodorant," I say, shrugging. 

I pad over to my vanity and quickly apply some. Oh well. No one ever got divorced over a little sweat. Plus, Cole sweats more than I do. I, as a lady, glisten if at all. 

I am sponging down the table when a pop to my left causes me to let out a shriek of horror. I stumble back towards the counter, my back coming into contact with it painfully. 

"Whoa. Did I scare you?"

I stare at James in horror. 

"Yes you scared me!" I say, holding my heart. "How the hell did you think I was going to react?"

"Sorry. Hey."

"Hi, James…how are you…?"

"Fine."

He pushes past me and for the first time I see the giant bag strung over his shoulder. I gape at him as he brushes past me into our small living area.

Cole comes out of the bathroom, a towel wrapped around his waist and his wand in his hand. 

"Is everything okay?" he asks, his eyes glancing from me to James. 

"Hey, Cole!" James gives him a half wave. "Er…did I interrupt something?" He glances at Cole in his towel.

"No," I say, my cheeks coloring. "He was taking a bath."

"Right…" James smiles.

"How are you?" Cole asks as James's eyes rove over the enclosure. 

"Fine thanks." He gestures to the room. "Nice," he comments. "Can I lay out my stuff here?"

"What is that?" I ask sharply, pointing at his bag. "Is that a suitcase?"

"Yeah. Can I bunk with you for a while? Alice and I are kind of going through a rough patch."

"What?" I cry. "Why?"

"Just some stuff," he replies evasively. "So can I stay?"

How am I supposed to say no and still sound like a good person?

"No." There. Blunt and sharp, like a bee sting. 

"Roe!" Cole snaps. "Of course you can stay, James."

"Thank you, Cole, my new favorite person." James sits down on our couch and puts his feet up on our coffee table. "Do you have something to drink?"

"Huh?" I ask, distracted by my stupid husband. 

James points at his mouth and says, "Cotton-mouth."

Overwhelmed, I hurry to the cabinet and pull a glass down and then fill it with water. I hand the cool glass to my older brother and watch him down it in one go. 

"James," I say, trying to sound as sympathetic as possible. "Will you tell me what happened?"

I fix Cole with a look and shoo him away so that James will open up to me without an outside person hovering. 

"I'm going to take a bath," Cole announces and hurries back into the bathroom. 

"James…"

"We just got into a very big fight," James says grudgingly. 

"About…?"

"Stuff. I don't really want to talk about it, though."

"You can't stay here," I say desperately. 

"Why the bloody hell not?" he replies, clearly affronted. 

"This is my honeymoon!" I cry. "We've only been out here for a couple of days and you're bursting in here!"

"You're the only one who will understand," James replies. "I need to be here."

"What was the fight about?"

"I don't feel comfortable saying."

"Then you can't stay here."

"That isn't fair!"

"Oh, James," I say sympathetically, "tough," I say, my voice hardening. "Life isn't fair. Nothing is fair. Go stay with Elizabeth."

"Fuck that shit!"

"Watch your mouth!"

Both James and I come to a screeching halt as my mother's exact voice comes shooting out of my mouth. 

I open and close my mouth, flexing my jaw and clearing my throat, trying to clear my mouth of Mum's voice as James says, "She'd be yelling at me over everything. Plus the baby would be crying and I'd have to change a diaper—"

"And you can't go to Mum and Dad's because…?"

"I just walked in on them shagging."

"You poor thing!" I cry and wrap him into me. "Of course you can stay here! I'll unpack your things. You need to recover."

James pats my arm. "Thanks, Roe. You won't even know I'm here."

But I do know he's here. His entire presence seems to make Cole a bit uncomfortable. He's also a bit chuffed he can't walk around without pants anymore, but after I reminded him about the poison ivy incident, he cheered up. 

"Okay…erm, goodnight James," I call as Cole and I slide into bed. James decided to kip out on the couch. 

"Goodnight." 

I turn to look at Cole, my eyes wide. 

"What did they fight about?" Cole breathes. 

"I don't know."

"He had nowhere else to go?"

"No. He walked in on my parents shagging."

"Oh."

"I'm sorry you can't walk around naked anymore."

"It's okay. It was getting old."

"He will only stay a couple of days and we won't even know he's…"

Cole and I both sit up as a god-awful sound emits from the couch area. We lean in and listen and a few seconds later it happens again. 

Suddenly, with a jolt, I remember how much I hated sleeping in the same room with James. We used to make tents and sleep in the living room with Mum and Dad, but half way through the night I would end up back in my own bed because James would snore so loud it kept me up. 

"I forgot he snores," I say, grabbing my wand. I quickly place a silencing spell over him and fall back against the bed. "This is a nightmare."

"I'm sure he'll be ready to get back to his own house by tomorrow," Cole replies confidently. He kisses my temple. "Go to sleep and don't let this stress you out."

"You're right," I reply with a nod. "Goodnight."

We kiss and I settle back into the pillows. We bought amazingly puffy, thick pillows which were made for my head in mind, I think. They mold perfectly to my head. 

Cole, who always, always falls asleep first, is breathing steadily not two seconds later and I am left to lie in bed, staring at the ceiling while millions of scenarios run through my mind. I can't help but wonder what, exactly, James did to make Alice throw him out of the house.

OoOoOo

I blink rapidly and sit up in bed. I yawn and stretch my arms to get the sleep-kinks out of them. Soft sunlight streams in from the windows near the couch. My eyes travel around the small enclosure of the tent before I realize that neither James nor Cole is here. 

I throw back the covers and get out of bed, my brow furrowed. The bathroom door is open and it is empty. There is no note and no sign of either man. 

"Where in the hell could they have gone?" I wonder aloud. I place a hand on my hip and then glance at the clock on the wall. It is half past eleven. A bit later than I usually sleep, but as Cole wasn't here to wake me up with his singing or clinking, I guess I could see why I overslept.

I go to the table and sit down. For fifteen minutes I tap my fingers and exhale loudly, but when that suffices no longer, I get up and go outside. It is still a bit cool as I survey the small field where we've set up camp. As promised, there is no one around for miles. 

I go back into the tent, a worried feeling filling my stomach. This isn't like Cole to just take off and not tell me where he's going. I expect as much from James, but as he is with my husband, I want to know where they are. 

I look over at our bed and notice a small piece of paper lying on Cole's side. I hurry over and pick it up and notice his familiar scrawl. 

_Gone fishing._

I stare at the two words, willing them to become more and tell me something else. I crumple the note up and sit down on the bed in a huff. 

Well, if he's going to go off and leave me completely alone, then I am going to have a girly day. I will paint my nails and brush out my hair and take a nice, long bubble bath…mhmm…

Once the bath is drawn, I strip down and sink to the depths of the bath, a giant smile on my face. All the muscles in my body that are tense from marriage and James seem to unwind as I rest my head against the wall. 

I must have dozed off because a sudden banging wakes me and before I can stop it, the bathroom door is flung open and James hurries into the bathroom.

"I'm not looking! I'm not looking!" 

"James!" I scream, arranging more bubbles to cover me. "Get out of the bathroom!"

"I have to brush my teeth. Cole is going to take me to Diagon Alley. You can come. You know, he's really a cool guy. Nice choice." James begins to floss. 

"Get out!" I screech.

"Like I even care," James scoffs, his back turned to me. 

"Cole!" I scream. "Cole! Get in here!" My face is completely red. Well, what can be seen, as I have sunken down as far as I can go. 

"What's the matter?" he pokes his head in. 

"Get him out!" I bellow. 

"Here." Cole reaches out and slides the curtain shut. "Anyways. Finish your story."

"So then when she was eight years old she had this imaginary friend that would follow her around everywhere and she would talk to her all the time. Then one day my dad caught her kissing her reflection in the mirror. Apparently, she thought that her mirror image was her imaginary friend, who conveniently looked just like here. Dad got all freaked out and—"  
"Are you talking about me?" I ask furiously.

"I'm just telling him some funny stories about when you were little, Roe."

"James!" I cry. "What is the matter with you?"

"They're funny!"

Suddenly, Cole's head pokes in as I hear James begin to brush his teeth with vigor. 

"Do you want to come to Diagon Alley with us?"

"You two get the fuck out of here," I snarl. 

Patiently, Cole asks, "Alright, but is that a yes or a no?"

"It's a no," I snarl, "for the both of us."

I stand suddenly and wrench the towel down off of the wall and wrap it around myself. I shove Cole out of the bathroom and into the living room area. The bathroom door is slammed behind me as I give Cole what I hope is a death stare.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" I ask in a whisper. "I was in the tub!"

"He was just brushing his teeth!"

"I was in the tub!"

"He's your brother! He's going through a rough time, Roe, you should lay off of him."

"Well, I think—Wait, how much of a rough time?"

"He asked me not to say." Cole walks into the kitchen and opens the wizard version of a Muggle fridge. "Do you want some breakfast? We didn't catch anything in the water." He rustles through our food. "You're brother's really funny. I know where you get it now."

"Did he tell you exactly what happened with him and Alice?" I ask, coming into the kitchen and raising my eyebrows at Cole's bent back.

"How about pancakes?"

"Cole!"

He straightens. "I promised I wouldn't tell, Roe."

"That's my brother!"

"He's also my friend, and I promised I wouldn't say." He turns to meet my glare.

"Your friend?" I whisper furiously. "You've been friends for two minutes!"

"We bonded quickly," he snaps indignantly. 

"Are you really not going to tell me what is happening between my own brother and his girlfriend?"

Cole avoids eye contact and nods. "I promised."

"You aren't going to tell me?"

"No, Roe! I made a promise and I'm sticking to it. And I'm going out with James when he's done." 

I place my hands on my hips, rest my weight on one leg and raise an eyebrow and say in a soft, deadly tone, "Fine. Go ahead."

This, as many will soon come to find out, is not an okay, but rather a dare. I do not really want him to go out and I do not really want him to stick to his promise, but I am daring him to go ahead and continue with it. 

"Fine," Cole replies, sounding slighted. He knows exactly what my tone and word choice means and I can see he is desperately trying to stick to his guns. "I will."

"Great."

I tug on a summer dress and a pair of knickers just as James opens the bathroom door and wipes his mouth with his hand. 

"Where did you get that soap? It smells brilliant."

Cole and I do not answer him. 

"Right…well…are we ready?" he asks awkwardly. He can tell we've been fighting.

"I'm not going," I snap, stalking past James and slamming into the bathroom. 

When I emerge twenty minutes later I see that they are gone. I sigh angrily and fold my arms. 

I am just about to begin a mass cleaning of the entire area when a pop to my left startles me. I turn around to see James standing in front of me. 

"I forgot my wand," he says with a short laugh. "Can't forget that." He picks it up off the coffee table and shows it to me. "Well…I should get back. Are you sure you don't want to come?"

"No," I snap. "James, I think maybe when you get back you should pack up and stay with Dad and Mum."

"What? Why? I thought we were having a good time! I've been trying not to be a pain in the arse—"

"Cole is keeping something from me," I reply. "It may sound stupid to you, but I don't want us to keep secrets from one another."

James sighs heavily. "I didn't want anyone to know."

"You told Cole!"

"He's like a buddy."

"You two have barely spoken a day in your entire life!"

"Roe, I don't want to get into this—"

"Why can't you just tell me what happened?" I snap. "If you can tell Cole, then you can tell me!"

"No, I can't," James snaps. 

"Of course you can!" I cry.

"No I can't!" James snaps louder. 

"Why not?"

"I'm embarrassed, alright?" he bellows furiously. "I'm embarrassed."

He walks past me to the couch and sits down in a huff. I slowly walk around the couch until I am standing in front of him. His shoulders are slumped and his head hangs low. 

"I proposed to Alice," James says softly. 

"Oh, James, that's—"

"And she said no."

The smile on my face slips off and I watch as his shoulders begin to shake. Gathering my senses, I go and sit next to him, wrapping him into a tight embrace. After only a short while he regains some control. 

"I broke up with her and packed some of my stuff and left," James tells me. "I mean, what's the point of having a relationship with someone if you know they never want to marry you?"

"Maybe it isn't a never," I say quickly. "Maybe it's just for—"

"She made it clear that it was never," he says thickly. Then he shrugs. "Serves me right for thinking I could ever have a serious relationship with someone. It isn't worth it."

"James…"

"Listen, I should get back to Diagon Alley. I left Cole outside the Quidditch shop."

"Well, okay." 

I watch as he stands and hastily wipes his eyes before giving me a quick smile.

"Don't tell anyone I cried or I'll kick the shit out of you," he says, a sort of sad smile on his face. 

"No, of course not," I say bemusedly. "See you later."

He disappears with a crack and I stare at the spot where he stood for what seems like hours. My mind is reeling with the new information presented to me. Part of me refuses to believe that they would have broken up, but another part of me isn't surprised. I have known James since I was born and he was never one for monogamy. Maybe this is a good thing?

Then why does he seem heartbroken?

OoOoOo

Cole and James arrive around dusk. They are loud and laughing and I am instantly glad that James has cheered up. They brought me something from the little bakery on the corner of Diagon Alley. 

Waiting on the table for them is a freshly cooked dinner that I had all day to prepare. It is all of James's favorites, which I instantly know he knows. He pretends he doesn't and so do I. 

"Well, come on, I'm starved!" I say, steering James into a seat.

I go over to the sink and grab some cups down to fill with fresh pumpkin juice. 

"I thought he couldn't stay," Cole whispers in my ear. 

"Don't be stupid! He's my brother, of course he can stay. Here. Put these out." I give Cole a look, but he simply grins at me and kisses me. 

"I love you," he says to me softly.

I smile at his back and sit down in between Cole and James, who instantly begin to bicker good-naturedly about Quidditch. 

Taking a sip of my juice, I can't help the happy smile spread across my face as I look at Cole and James fight. 

Even with James and Alice not speaking, I have to believe that things will get better. 

They have to. 

oOoOoOo

A/N Not the end! More coming soon!


	22. Chapter 22

A/N: I am trying to incorporate some flashbacks of how Roe and Cole were before they were dating. So, I thought I'd have Roe dream of a different encounter once or twice through a chapter to give a little background.

OoOoOo

James has been here an entire week. I want him out.

He uses the last of the toothpaste and doesn't tell me until I go in to use it. He left his wet towels on the floor of the bathroom, after he didn't wipe up all the water he sloshed onto the floor. I almost broke my neck slipping to pick up the towel. He ate all of our food and hasn't offered to replace any of it. He snores like a beast. He and Cole get all buddy-buddy and seem to leave me out of almost everything. And I have zero privacy.

Despite all of that, I don't have the heart to throw him out.

When he doesn't think I see, I see him pause in whatever he's doing and just stare down at his hands, or out the window, or a spot on the wall, and I know he's thinking of Alice. My heart completely wrenches in my chest and I want nothing more than to go to him and comfort him, but he won't let me.

The last time I tried we got into a shoving match and he ended up on the floor after he pulled my hair. I had screamed that all I wanted to do was give him a hug, while he screamed that he didn't need or want one.

It is now the night before Demi and Frank come for lunch and I am lying in bed, staring at the ceiling. Cole and James are on the couch playing cards and I am trying to sleep. I can't seem to stop the restless feeling that is boiling in the pit of my stomach.

"And that's how you do it," I hear a triumphant voice say from across the room and pick up my head. James is sliding some coins into his hand with a triumphant smirk on his face.

"What are you guys doing?" I question sharply.

"Playing cards," they reply at the same time.

"You aren't gambling, are you?"

"No." The unison voices cause me to roll my eyes as I realize they are lying.

It is with a second male presence in the house that I really pity Mum. I can barely stand living in a house with my brother and my husband, while she was living in a house with six brothers at a time. To be quite honest I do not know how she managed to keep her cool.

"It's late," I say. "Why don't you go to bed?"

"Oh, alright, Mum," James says sarcastically. "It's nine-thirty."

"I'm tired," I say, "and the light bothers me."

I sit up in bed to glare at James. He rolls his eyes at my glare and begins to shuffle the cards again. I turn to Cole for support, to see him staring fixedly at his hands.

We've already had this fight and I do not want to have it again. If I did ask him to step outside and fight, it would be the third time this week. We have been fighting about how he usually wants to do what James is doing and won't back me up or even take my side! I am constantly getting ganged up on!

"James, if you're going to orchestrate when I sleep and when we turn out the lights then maybe you should start contributing to some bills or the food shopping?"

"Nah. I'm good, thanks."

I sigh heavily and fold my arms. I could kill him sometimes. He is such an inconsiderate git and just an all around arse sometimes. If it weren't for silly little rules and laws then I probably would have killed him by now.

"Goodnight."

I lay back down in a huff and turn on my side, completely blocking off the view of James and Cole with my hip. I stare at the picture on the wall for a few minutes before I hear mumbled voices and then, to my surprise, the light switches off.

I slightly lift my head to see James settling down into the couch as Cole puts away the cards and comes across the room towards the bed. He takes off the watch I gave him for Christmas and places it on the nightstand like always and then slides into bed.

He turns towards me, but I snap my eyes shut and pretend that I'm asleep.

"I know you're not asleep, Roe." I can feel the weight of his stare.

Finally, I open my eyes to glare at him. "He has to go."

"What? Why?" Cole seems devastated at the thought.

"We're going to kill each other with him here!"

"I don't want to kill you."

"Then I'm going to kill _you_ with him here," I clarify.

"He isn't that bad."  
"It's exactly like when we were kids," I say to Cole, "only my parents aren't here to referee. He's being disrespectful to me!"

"He's just upset, Roe."

"I know he is. And I sympathize with him, believe me, I do, but I can not let him stay here and mooch off of us."

"He isn't mooching. He tried to give me some money this morning, but I said we didn't want it."

"Why would you do that? If people give you money then you accept it!"

Cole gives me a look. "We don't need the money, but he needs our hospitality."

I give a heavy sigh. "I know he does." I sit up on my elbow. "And I'm being as hospitable and understanding as possible. You don't know how hard that is for me."

"And I'm very proud of you," Cole says, sweeping some of the hair out of my face. "Just give him some more time."

"How much more time?" I ask, my eyebrow raised.

"A week? Two weeks tops."

"Two weeks?" I explode quietly. "You've got to be fucking me."

"I wish I was," Cole mutters. He then fixes me with a look. "Is that a yes?"

"I don't have a bloody choice, do I?" I snap. "It seems you two have made up my mind for me."

"Are you mad?"

"Furious," I say, sighing. "But what can I do? He's family."

"Exactly. See, I knew you would understand."

"Shut up," I snap. I turn over on my side and ignore Cole, even as he rubs my arms and nuzzles my neck. "Goodnight, darling," I say sarcastically.

Obviously we have not had sex since James has been here. I may not have many standards, but the few that have remained intact have known that shagging Cole while James is ten feet away would be tacky and slutty, even for a married lady. At first Cole tried to find a way around it, but I flat out refused if I knew James would even be coming back.

"We don't have to do that," Cole begins quickly. "We'll just kiss. I promise that's all."

"Sorry," I say, a wide smile on my face. "Not with my brother here."

"It's just kissing! A little groping, tops."

I give a fake yawn. "I'm exhausted. Any kind of groping will have to be done solitary." I pat his arm. "That's my policy on sex while guests are here."

Cole turns over in a huff and lies flat on his back. "I hate being nice."

"Don't worry, sweetie, it's only two more weeks," I say sarcastically and roll back over as I hear Cole huff angrily.

Just before I go to sleep I pick my head up to see that James is fast asleep, our fight going unheard by him. I exhale loudly and shake my head. I wish he would stop being so pathetic so I can throw him out.

"Pecking and that's all. That barely counts as kissing!"

"No Cole."

"Fine!" He turns over, his back now to me and I turn, my back to him.

We lay like that for a few minutes before I cave and turn over. I grab his shoulder so that he rolls over onto his back and then lay my head on his shoulder and throw a bare leg over his shorts. A second later his hand comes down to rest on my shoulder. And just like that we've made up.

OoOoOo

_Demi, Frank and I are sitting around a giant table, wishing this stupid Christmas party would end already so we could leave. I had been violently shoved into a tight, green velvet dress that made even my barely-there chest seem like double-ds by my mother who insisted I looked adorable. _

"_I can't breathe," I inform my friends. "This dress is literally crushing me."_

"_Probably, but you have the most fantastic cleavage of anyone I've ever seen," Demi says. "I would kill to have cleavage like that." She looks at it admiringly. "Switch dresses with me."_

"_No," I say, rolling my eyes. _

"_Oh, come on! I want to try yours on," she says. _

"_Your boobs would not even come close to fitting in this dress," I inform her. "They'd keep popping out all night."_

"_Let her try it on," Frank pipes in._

"_Don't be gross, Frank," I snap. I turn my attention back to Demi. "No."_

"_Please?"_

"_You are so spoiled!" I say, laughing. _

"_I am not spoiled," she retorts. "I just want to try on the dress."_

"_No."_

"_Fine." She folds her arms. "It's an ugly dress, anyways."_

"_Ooh, ouch," I say, sipping the remains of my drink. "I'm going to get another. Do you want one?"_

"_Yeah, I'll take another," Frank says. _

"_Sure, if you're buying," Demi says._

"_Of course," I say, collecting their glasses. _

_I walk along the crowded hall until I get to an empty table and dump the glasses onto it. It will soon be filled with empty glasses, which helps the waiters at the end of the night clear the tables. _

"_Hi," I say to the bartender. "Can I please have three butterbeers?"_

_He turns away and begins to fix them as I survey the crowd._

"_Miss?" I wheel around. "Here you go."_

"_Thank you," I reply. _

_I take a minute as I sip from my drink to survey the crowd of people dancing for the millionth time tonight. Everyone, besides me, it seems, has a significant other to dance with. I have the other, I just don't know where he is. Stupid git probably left to go home or something. It would be just like him to desert me without so much as a courtesy good-bye. _

_I am thinking of breaking up with Michael. I think the time has probably come that we part ways amicably. For starters, I don't think we really like each other anymore. Whatever has kept us together is coming apart at the seams and neither of us is willing to grab a needle and sew it back together. His cheating on me doesn't help, either. At least I think he is cheating. I can't be sure, but he is just being way too mean to me. He pushes me away one moment and then the next moment he is like a blow-job devil, persisting and persisting and then becoming furious or running from the room when I agree. Something isn't right with him. I am tired of pretending to be in love with him when really…I can barely even stand to think it to myself…_

_On top of that I am sure I have a crush on Cole Malfoy, though it isn't that big of a deal. I'm sure it isn't even a crush, but lust. I mean, he's tall, with gorgeous sapphire blue eyes and dark brown hair that always falls into his eyes in just the right way. I've just turned him into the main character of a romance novel, but I don't care. One look at him causes me to, well, completely heat up as though I will soon lose control of my actions. _

_But, again, I'm sure that every girl in Hogwarts, except Demi (who is a distant, estranged cousin), has had romantic, or rather, sexual, thoughts of Cole Malfoy at one point or another during the day. Sure, he does talk to me more than any other girl, but he also shags almost every girl he talks to._

_Regardless, nothing could ever happen between us. He thinks I hate him. Well, I hope he thinks I hate him. I'm sure I'm slipping in my attempt to remain hostile towards him. It's hard when all I want to do is pin him up against a wall and shove my tongue so far down his throat…_

_And now I'm all hot in the face and need another drink. I drink one of the ones I got for Frank and Demi. _

_My eyes rove around the room again on their own, looking for Cole without my brain's consent. He doesn't seem to be here tonight, which may or may not be a good thing._

"_You look very deep in thought."_

_Immediately my cheeks flare up in embarrassment and lust. I clutch onto my drink as firmly as I can without breaking it. That voice…that deep, sexy, unbelievably attractive voice sends shivers down my spine and other pangs elsewhere. Isn't that awful? The effect he has on me is almost immediate and unable to ignore. _

_Bitching Roe instantly rears her ugly head and says, "I'm surprised you can spot it. It's such a foreign occurrence for you."_

"_Well, hello, Roe. I'm glad to see the Christmas spirit is doing nothing to damper the bitch who seems to have burrowed her way into you."_

"_She's a fighter," I say, and walk away from the bar empty handed. I realize about three steps away that I forgot the two drinks on the bar, but would rather chew off my arm than to turn around and face him. _

_The path back to my table is blocked by various bodies. I sigh angrily and try to fight my way through before giving up and heading outside into the cold, yet refreshing, night air. _

"_Hey! Potter!"_

"_What?" I ask, whipping around to see Cole coming towards me, two drinks in his hands. He offers them to me and I take them grudgingly. "Oh. Thanks." _

"_I saw you watching everyone dancing," he says to me, not unkindly. _

"_Creepy much?" I ask him. _

"_I'd dance with you, if you wanted."_

_My mind is instantly overcome with thoughts of being pressed against him, feeling his arms wrapped around me as our hips move to the music. _

"_Are you okay?"_

"_What?" I ask, snapping back to attention. I suddenly couldn't take my eyes off his arms. I wonder what they feel like. _

"_You look like you dazed out."_

"_I'm fine." I fix him with a smile. It isn't my usual sarcastic, bitchy smile, nor is it a friendly smile. "And I'll have to pass about the dance. Thanks, though."_

"_Right, because you don't like me," Cole says obviously. _

"_That's right," I say, giving him a cocky smile. "Happy Christmas, Malfoy."_

"_And that's why you won't go out with me."_

"_Right."_

"_You know what I think?"_

"_What? What do you think, Cole?"_

"_I think you don't go out with me because you like me," he says. "In fact, if I had to guess, I'd say you liked me a lot."_

_I choke out a laugh, my cheeks flaming up in humiliation. _

"_Cole, poor boy, I'm sorry. If I've ever given you any reason to think that way, I'm sorry. I don't like you. Not even a little."_

_He catches my arm just as I am about to walk away and leans in close and says, in a low, husky voice, "Even though I see you staring at me all the time."_

_I yank my arm back._

"_W-what?" I say, losing my verbal footing. _

"_I see you staring at me all the time, Roe." The triumphant look on his voice informs me that he knows. It would be futile to resist. "When you think no one else is looking."_

"_I understand that with your narcissistic tendencies you think everyone is paying attention to you at all times, but I have better things to do."_

_Cole grabs my arm and pulls me against the stone wall of the gate. It is like a three walled room with some flowers and a fountain, which he maneuvers us around. My back is suddenly against the hard, cold stone of the wall as Cole steps in front of me. My hands drop to my sides and the glasses crash to the ground, which goes unnoticed by the both of us._

_He leans in close and my eyes flutter closed. But, when the kiss I have been waiting for, does not come, I open my eyes to see him staring at me thoughtfully. _

"_I'm not going to kiss you unless you tell me you want me to," he says softly and I resist a moan of irritation. _

_Unable to stare into his eyes any longer, I turn my face away, leaving my neck open. I feel his lips go to my neck, and I think perhaps he'll kiss me anyways, but he sticks true to his promise and simply runs his lips along my neck, never actually kissing. I erupt into goosebumps and violent shivers. _

_Unlike Michael, who stopped kissing me romantically at all about three months ago, Cole seems patient and gentle, which makes it even harder to keep my mouth shut, as a groan is attempting to make its way out, especially when his lips tread upon a place which causes me to let out a squeak. _

_I run my hands all along his arms. They feel just as I dreamed and suddenly wonder if anything else will feel like I dreamed it would. Not for the first time in my teen life I wonder what it would feel like to shag him. I wonder what it would feel like to have him touch me in places no one else has ever touched me. _

"_Do you want me to kiss you?" His hand slips down my chest and comes to rest just above the new cleavage I have gotten, just as his lips hover mere centimeters over mine. The other hand clutches onto the side of my hip. "Roe?"_

"_Yes. Okay," I say, clutching onto the back of his head and bringing it further down to come as close to kissing me without actually doing it. "Please."_

"_Please what?" he asks. _

_I give a moan as I lift my leg to wrap around him. The moment his hips come in contact with mine I let out a breathy moan. _

"_You can kiss me," I say. _

_He brings his lips down to mine and, like a jolt of electricity shocked me, I jump. Every nerve in my body ignites and I let out another moan. It is exactly what I thought it might be, what I wanted it to be like. _

_It is hard to wrap my mind around it. My mind vaguely wonders how far this will go…how far I'll let it go._

"_Doyle, you stupid bastard, how dare you embarrass me like that in there! In front of everyone!"_

"_It was just a joke! Don't be so uptight!"_

_The sound of the voices causes me wrench my lips from Cole's and say, "No, Cole! Stop!" _

_As quickly as he can he pulls back from me looking flushed and surprised. _

"_What's the matter?" he asks. _

"_I'm sorry. I just can't," I say fixing the strap to my dress, which seemed to have fallen down. I see that Cole looks angry and confused. "I'm sorry. Please don't tell anyone," I beg as I run for the door. _

_I get back into the warm air and look for the table Demi, Frank and I was sitting on, only to find it empty. Worried beyond belief that Cole is going to try and talk to me, I spot my dad and nearly run over to him, grabbing him by the arm. _

"_Oh, hello, Roe," he says, peering down at me in confusion. "I haven't seen you all night. You just missed Demi and Frank. They left…Where were you? Why aren't you with them?"_

_Sometimes I wish Dad would stop asking so many questions. Which one do I answer that doesn't end with me kissing Cole Malfoy against the wall just outside the Ministry doors?_

"_I was in the bathroom," I lie. _

"_Do you feel alright? You're all flushed!"_

"_And I was outside," I say feebly. "I needed some fresh air."_

_For about an hour and a half I stand by Dad and watch as he talks to an endless amount of people. I had a sneezing fit for about ten minutes and when I turned around I saw Mr. Malfoy retreating from Dad and going to over to a table where Cole was sitting. And there was the stupid, slutty Fourth Year. She was clinging onto Cole as though he were some sort of life support. Dumb twat. _

"_Stay here. I'm going to find the rest of the family and then I think it's time we left. I've had about as much as I can stand of Ministry Christmas cheer."_

_I fix my eyes back on Cole and mistakenly catch his eye. He gives me a look before turning to the Fourth Year and peppering kisses along her face before kissing her. I feel myself begin to breathe deeply as anger runs through my veins. I understand he's angry, but I think he is purposely trying to hurt my feelings, or something!_

_I clench my jaw, but relax it a moment later when I see Michael coming inside. His tie is undone and he, too, looks red in the face from the cold. Catching Cole's eye with a triumphant glint, I hurry over to Michael and throw my arms around him, giving him the first kiss in months. _

"_Hi, darling," I say huskily. _

_I stumble back as I am roughly pushed off of him. _

"_Jeez, Roe, what's the matter with you?" Michael snaps angrily. He looks embarrassed and uncomfortable._

"_I'm sorry, I just thought—"_

"_Not in front of everyone! My parents are here for Merlin's sake!"_

"_Sorry, Michael. What's the matter? Do you feel alright?"_

"_I'm fine." He gives me a guilty look. _

"_Hey, guys, what's up?" _

_Both Michael and I turn to see Elizabeth giving us a timid smile. _

"_Nothing," I say to her. "Michael was just leaving."_

"_I'll see you later," he says to no one in particular and hurries from the Hall. I watch him go to the door. When he gets there he turns around and raises a hand in good-bye. _

_It takes all my self-control to keep from running to him and breaking things off with him, but I can't. Tomorrow there will be a letter apologizing for being such a dick. Then it will be better for a few weeks. However, the way Michael treated me a minute ago alleviates any guilt I was feeling at having kissed Cole. I don't feel guilty at all._

_As I look at Cole kissing his date I feel a pang of jealousy and anger. If he can replace me that easily then maybe breaking up with Michael isn't the brightest of ideas. _

"_Where were you?" I ask Elizabeth. _

"_I was strolling the grounds with Michael and David," Elizabeth says. She gives me a bright smile. "James was there for a while…and then Alice and he disappeared."_

"_Speaking of Devil," I say as James appears as though out of thin air. "Was your nose itching?"_

"_Huh?"_

"_Nothing."_

"_For Merlin's sake, Roe, is there any toilet paper left in the bathroom?"_

"_Huh?" I ask, glancing down at me chest. "I did not stuff my bra! This is my own beautiful gift."_

"_That's shoved into a dress I haven't worn in six years," Elizabeth butts in. "It's a little tight around the hips. And the butt. And the stomach. And you wore your hair all wrong. I won't even start on your makeup."_

"_My makeup!" I accuse. "It looks like you made out with your dinner! Your lipstick is all smudged."_

_James shifts next to me as Elizabeth quickly wipes at her mouth. _

"_David gave me the grossest tasting caviar and the flavor wouldn't come out of my mouth," she explains, "no matter how hard I rubbed."_

"_David's a dick," I say. _

"_He is not," James replies. "Elizabeth is just stupid for putting something in her mouth that doesn't belong there." _

_James and Elizabeth spend the next minute glaring fiercely at each other._

"_There you are! I thought I told you to stay right there! It's like herding cattle, with you three!" Dad gives me a glare as though it were all solely my fault. _

_Just before we leave I give another glance at Cole, and he looks right back at me. If only I had known that on the other side of the wall, where Cole pressed me against and kissed me, Elizabeth and Michael were shagging, I could have spared myself so much time and effort. _

"Wake up, Roe."

I jerk awake to the sound of Cole's voice in my ear.

"No! S'early," I mumble, rubbing my eyes and trying to roll over to go back to sleep.

"James made us breakfast," Cole says, shaking my shoulder harder.

Fully awake, I sit up and gape at Cole.

"He did not," I say.

"He did. And there's a note."

I scramble out of bed and hurry over to the table to see a platter of bacon and French toast on one side of the table, two plates, two glasses and two forks on the other, set at each place. And there, in the center of the table, is the note. Fearing the worst, I pick it up and read it.

"What does it say?" Cole asks.

"He's going into London and running errands all day," I tell Cole. "He won't be back until tonight, so don't worry about making dinner for him."

"He'll be out all day?"

"That's what it says," I say to Cole with a shrug. "Good, because I need him out of my hair for when—" I break off when Cole suddenly attacks me with his face. "What are you doing?"

"He'll be out all day," Cole says to me. "An entire day alone, to ourselves."

"But the bacon," I say helplessly as he leads me to the bed.

"It'll be there when we're done."

"I can't shag on an empty stomach, Cole."

"You've got to be kidding me right now!"

"No."

"Just give me ten minutes."

"And what will we do with the other seven minutes?" I ask as he tugs his pants down.

He gives a laugh, but also glares at me at the same time and says, "Very funny. I like that. If we weren't seconds away from shagging I might be offended."

"Hurry up! I have to clean."

"Okay, where's your wand."

"I don't know, check on the table right there."

"It isn't there," Cole says.

"Well, then, I don't know. Just use your wand."

"I don't know where mine is either."

"Cole, you have nine minutes to get this done."

"Okay…hold on, hold on. Okay. We're good to go." He turns back around and climbs into bed. He kisses me. "You get on top…"  
"No!" I protest. "I'm in a lazy mood."

"Please?"

"For the love of Merlin's baggy shorts," I snap, straddling his hips. "Okay, let's go."

"Thank you," Cole says exactly nine minutes later, giving me a kiss on my cheek.

I head into the bathroom and clean up. When I get out of the bathroom Cole is hurriedly making the bed. He then proceeds to look all around our sleep area.

"What are you doing?" I ask, bending down and collecting some of the laundry that collected over the week. I throw it in the basket in the corner. "What are you looking for?"

"I'm not looking for anything," Cole says, bending upright. "I'm cleaning."

"Oh…okay, then. You clean over here and I'll tackle the kitchen."

I walk into the kitchen and clean around the counters and the table the Muggle way. There is something very cathartic about dragging a sponge around the counters and watching them sparkle as they are cleaned.

However, I draw and a very thick line when it comes to actually touching around where James has been sleeping. I walk back to the kitchen where my wand was laying on the counter and grab it. Cole is still cleaning up around our bedroom.

I wave my wand and the magazines, James's clothes, and Cole's wand drift to various places.

"Cole, come get your stuff please," I call over my shoulder as I magically send a vase of flowers to sit on the coffee table.

"What stuff?" Cole asks cautiously.

"A deck of cards and your wand," I say, picking them up and handing them to him.

He shuffles forward and hesitantly takes them from me.

"Thanks," he says.

"You're welcome," I say, shaking my head in bemusement. Boys can be really, really weird sometimes. Almost not worth it.

Fifteen minutes later the entire space is literally sparkling.

OoOoOo

Demi and Frank arrive late as always, but I wasn't that bothered. Cole helped me make the lunch, and I tried to include something everyone would like.

"We have a game to play with you guys!" Demi says, releasing me from her hold. "Dad and Mum were playing it with your parents and I asked to borrow it. It's called the Newlywed Game!"

"Our parents aren't newlyweds," I say.

"Well, that's even better. They're sure to win. However, you and Cole are, and Frank and I practically are, so I thought it would be fun."

"Um…alright, I guess so," I say as we all go to the couch and sit down. The only person who looks excited about the game is Demi.

"Okay, so here are the rules of the game," Demi says to us, standing in front of the coffee table. "A card is pulled and you both answer the question at the same time. You tally up your points and it counts as the first part of your final score. The second part is where you write down your answer on this white board-thingy and hold them up at the same time. The couple with the highest score wins."

Leave it to Demi to come up with a stupid game.

"First question," Demi says, conjuring a card from the bowl. "How long should foreplay last?" She smirks at us. "One, two, three—"

"Two minutes," Cole and I say in unison.

I turn to him excitedly as I realize that we've just won a point.

"Okay, our turn," Demi says, handing the bowl to me.

I pull one out and read it out loud.

"How many times a week is the appropriate amount to make love?" I say, rolling my eyes. "Demi, this is such a stupid—"

"Up bup bup," she snaps. "I used to play all types of stupid games with you, Roe Potter. You owe me."

"Stupid games?" I snap. "Like what?"

"Uh, how about _house_," she cries. "And you always made me be the mother to your father, which we could go into right now, or you could let us answer the question."

I blush as I feel all eyes on me, especially Cole's.

"One, two, three—"

"Four," says Demi as Frank says, "Seven."

"Seven?" I ask.

"Well, we're already doing five—"

"What have I told you about airing our dirty laundry?" Demi snaps.

"Oh, hello, pot," Frank retorts. "And in exchange for five times a week, you get a wedding this year."

"You could try to be more enthused," Demi snarls.

"The same could be said for you, darling."

"Okay, how about you ask us the next question," Cole says quickly.

Twenty minutes later Cole and I are both up by fifty points.

"What is your wife's favorite fruit?" Frank asks dully.

"Apples!" Cole and I cry excitedly.

"Yes!" I stand and high-five him. "This game is amazing."

"Whatever," Demi says, thrusting the bowl at me. "Just ask the fucking question."

I sniff at her poor sportsmanship and ask, "What is your husband's favorite color?"

"Navy blue," both Demi and Frank say dully. They instantly perk up as they realize they've just gained their first point. "Oh, yes!" Demi says, hugging Frank happily. "Finally!"

"Us! Us!" I say, bouncing up and down on the couch. "Ask us now."

Demi takes the bowl from me and rifles through for one of the last cards. She reads it silently, and then, with a giant smirk on her face, reads it out loud. "How many years is a good amount to wait before having kids?"

I say ten as Cole replies one.

"Yea—What?" I cry.

"Ahaha!" Demi practically cackles. "How does that feel?"

"One year?" I snap at Cole, ignoring Demi. "One year?"

He shrugs. "What's the matter with that?"

"Well, on your schedule I only have eleven months left before I'm sperminated."

"It is my opinion, Roe."

"Yes, yes, I know," I say awkwardly. "Everyone's entitled to their opinion…" I suddenly feel hot in the face and slightly panicky as though I'm seconds from a panic attack. "Who wants something to drink?"

I spring up from the couch and grab a tall glass from the cabinet and fill it to the brim with firewhiskey. It only takes me a minute of pure energy to down it and the refill it again.

My mind is racing. Does Cole really intend for us to have children in the next year? I don't even want children, to be quite honest, and up until today I thought Cole felt the same way I did.

What if this drives a wedge in between us, or—

No. I'm freaking out again. Remain calm, go sit down, and smile at your husband, who promised to love you despite all your flaws.

"Isn't that a bit—" Cole begins, staring at the glass with a worried look.

"Huh?" I ask, after giving a few dignified burp. "A bit what?"

"Much?" Cole asks. "You don't want to get completely pissed."

"I won't, don't worry," I reply, patting his shoulder. "Who's hungry?"

Half way through lunch I realize that I am so completely pissed that there are two of everything: two tables, two bowls of salad, two Coles…which, actually, isn't a bad thing.

My balance is somewhat off, which I am sure everyone has noticed. I miss my mouth when attempting to eat my salad.

"I'm just going to address the big, pink suede elephant in the room," Demi says some minutes later. "Roe, you're completely drunk."

I am somewhat offended by her comment and retort, "Who are you? The pissed police?"

"Come into the bathroom with me and we'll do a sobering charm," Demi says. She stands and places her napkin on the table. "Come on, Roe."

She finally coaxes me into the bathroom and sloppily seats me on the closed toilet while she sits on the edge of the tub. Her eyes are not filled with mockery or amusement as I am sobered up, only sympathy and kindness.

"What spooked you?" she asks.

"Nothing spooked me," I reply in a mumble. I can not believe that I can not even have a sip of something without becoming completely pissed.

"Roe." Her voice is again loud and commanding. "I have known you for eighteen years. Something that happened in the living room spooked you. What was it? The fantasy question?"

"No," I say, smiling slightly. "That I have no problem with."

"Really? Because I would," Demi says, smirking.

"No…The how long should you wait to have children," I reply. "That question."

"Ah," Demi says, nodding. "My second guess."

"One year?" I hiss. "Is he serious?"

"Maybe he was speaking in general terms," Demi suggests. "It was a general question, not specific towards the two of you."

"Still," I say, shaking my head. "We're a month in already. If we were going by Cole's plan then I would need to get pregnant in the next few months." I laugh. "I'm eighteen years old! There is no way in hell I would be ready for a baby!"

"You'd be surprised," Demi says quietly.

"No one at eighteen is ready."

"No?" she asks.

"We're way too young!" I reply. "We've got our entire lives to be parents and to have children. I've got thirty more child-bearing years before I have to hand in the towel, or whatever that phrase is. Why would I want to waste my youth on raising youth?"

"Some women are content having children young," Demi reasons.

"No thanks."

"I mean," Demi continues, ignoring me, "you are more likely to have a greater relationship with them. It would be like having a little brother or sister."

"Did you just say having a child now would be like giving birth to your own sibling?" I ask, aghast.

"What is that matter with you? I just meant—"

"In my heart I know that we are not ready. Anyone who has children now is foolish."

"Is that what you really believe?" Demi whispers.

"Definitely. Instead of going out and exploring the world, you'd be at home changing diapers and raising a child who could very well grow up to hate and resent you. Or, by default, you could resent your own child for ruining your youth. Isn't that even worse? Isn't there a law of life that says your child can hate you at their own free will, but you are not allowed to hate them?"

"I'm not sure," Demi replies weakly.

"And I'm just getting started," I say, shaking my head. "I mean, how about—"

"No! Stop!" Demi raises a hand and her voice. For the first time I see that her face has gone pale and she looks like she may be ill.

"What's the matter?" I ask, worried.

She shakes her head and quickly wipes at her eyes.

"Demi, tell me, I'm your best friend I tell you…" I trail off as I see her bite her lip and avoid my gaze. "Holy shit, Demi." I sit back against the toilet. "You're pregnant, aren't you?"

"Two months," she replies in a whisper. "Found out two weeks ago."

"Have you told Frank yet?" I ask.

"N-no."

"Demi!"

"Shut up, Roe," she snaps. "I'm getting around to it."

"What in the devil are you waiting for?"

"Courage?" she asks weakly. "I don't know. I'm waiting for the right time. He's trying to wrap his head around a December wedding. I don't want him to think I'm purposely trying to trap him…"

"You do have to tell him," I say to her. "You know that, don't you?"

"Of course."

"Because there will be a belly…Demi…you're going to be fat in your wedding dress."

"Oh, I don't think…Oh, bugger. I am." She frowns. "Shit!"

"Don't worry about it," I say quickly. "It isn't normal fat. It's baby fat."

"Right. Even better," Demi says. "You've pretty much made your thoughts clear about having babies young."

"But…but…" I desperately want to say something to soothe her. "Maybe for you, it'll be…" Even as I say it (and meet her rolling eyes) I know I can't backtrack. Luckily I'm not wearing shoes, so my foot easily slips into my mouth.

"You'll be seven months pregnant by December 21."

"I know, Roe." She gives me a smile. "I'm confident everything will be fine." She stands and takes my hand. "Just…don't tell anyone."

"Of course not."

OoOoOo

The rest of the day, after Demi and Frank left, Demi's secret tried to escape my lips. Each time Cole looked at me I wanted to burst out and tell him that Demi was going to be a mother.

"Cole…"

"Yeah?" He looks up hopefully.

I didn't speak to him all day. Frankly, I didn't want to talk about the baby situation because it would cause me to blurt Demi's secret.

"Nothing," I say after a moment's pause and drop my eyes. I can feel his disappointment, but ignore it as I pick at the wonderful dinner he made.

"Roe—"

"Lucy, I'm home!" James calls as he steps into the tent.

I jump up and gratefully fuss about getting him a plate of something to eat. Anything but Cole's talking to me is better. Even if we have to sit in silence for the rest of our lives.

"Who's Lucy?" Cole and I ask.

"Remember from that show Grandpa and Dad would watch on the Muggle box about some crazy Muggle," James explains, unloading his bags onto the counter. "Each time the husband would come home he would yell, Lucy, I'm home." He looks at our blank stares. "Never mind."

"Where did you go today?" I ask him.

"Just around," he says. "I stopped by Grandma's and then Mum's and then Elizabeth's—"

"Why?"

"Just to visit," he says with a shrug. "Mum invites you two to dinner this Sunday, by the way."

"Okay."

"Then I went to Diagon Alley to look at apartments."

"James, there's no rush—"

"Yes there is," he says with a laugh. "You want me out and you know it. Don't even try to deny it. I'm overstaying my welcome." He sighs. "I just have to find a way to get back into the house and get all my things."

"You're going to let her keep the house?" I ask.

"Well…of course," he says with an uncomfortable shrug. "I love her. I don't want her out on the streets."

There is a sudden knocking from the outside and we all look around to see who it is.

"Erm…who is it?" I call.

"It's Alice," returns the voice.

Cole and I both exchange bewildered looks before turning to James, who is staring at the door as though it were a three-headed dog.

"James…"

"It's okay," he says to me.

"Come in," I call.

Alice comes into our house and instantly fixes her gaze on James.

"I was wondering if maybe I could talk to you…" Alice shifts uncomfortably. "You don't know how hard it's been to find you. Your family doesn't know you moved out and…then Roe owled me and told me where you were…and here you are…I've missed you." Oh, bugger. I forgot I owled her.

I look over at James to see that he, too, is very uncomfortable. His jaw is set, his arms are crossed, and his entire body is rigid with restraint. He gives me the worst glare I have ever received from a human being and I gulp.

"We'll just step outside," I say, grabbing Cole's shirt and pull him outside.

"That was awkward," Cole says as soon as we're in the warm night air.

"Shut up, I can't hear," I whisper, leaning closer.

"Don't snoop!" Cole admonishes.

"Be quiet!"

"Come over here."

"No," I snap, swatting him away, though it is of no use.

Cole lifts me into the air and carries me across the cricket-filled field until we're down by the water. I, of course, as a lady, struggle at being thrown across his shoulder. Once I am set down I punch his arm. "Ouch!"

"Do not pick me up as if I am some damsel in distress, you oaf," I snap, leveling him with a glare. "I, being a human, have legs that are fully functioning and can be properly used."

"You can't listen to their private conversation!" Cole replies. "It's rude."

"You are such a pain in the arse sometimes!" I fold my arms. "That is my brother in there. I have the right to know if Alice is coming in here to stomp all over his heart again. In case you've forgotten, that is our house."

"Really? Well, thank you, Roe. As long as I know that that place we've just come from is our house, it makes you right."

"You're infuriating!" I snarl. "Why do you insist on picking on me lately? It isn't even mature of you! We don't even have mature, grown-up fights! Frank and Demi fight over their wedding and all we fight about is the last piece of bacon or your constant picking on me!"

"I'm sorry I can't supply you with more problems to nag me about, but I'll think some up." And with that Cole turns on his heel and walks towards the shore. I glare at his retreating back for a minute before turning my attention back to the tent. I wait until he disappears from site before turning and inching towards the tent.

With a crack, Cole is in front of me again.

"I knew you would snoop. It's in your genes or something."

"Cole, I'm serious—"

"Let's go for a walk."

"No."

"Come on."

"I don't want to walk with you," I reply sulkily.

"Sure you do," he says, giving me a smile. "Let's go."

I roll my eyes and place my hand in his. "A quick walk," I say. "I don't want to miss any of the juicy stuff."

"I promise to make it quick."

We walk down to the shore and then along it for about ten minutes before Cole stops and turns to me.

"Did I do something wrong to upset you this afternoon? You barely talked to me after the game."

"N-no," I say weakly. "I was just drunk."

"For about five minutes until Demi sobered you up." He gives me a look. "I think that game proved we know each other pretty well, Roe. I know when you're upset and you were upset."

I swallow thickly. "You want to have kids in a year?" I say in a rush.

"What? When did I say that?" Cole asks.

"This afternoon!" I cry. "Demi asked when the appropriate time a couple should wait for kids—"

"Right," Cole says. "I didn't really mean it. It was kind of the first thing that came to mind...We shouldn't try for kids for a very long time."

"What?"

"Any couple should wait about a year. We, however, should wait at least seven. At least. No, make it eight. That's if we even have kids."

"Thank Merlin!" I breathe. "I was so scared for a second…"

"We are in no way shape or form ready for kids." He smiles down at me. "Feel better?"

"Yes." I give him a kiss and then step back from him. "I'm going back," I say and Dissapparate with a crack.

I land in front of the tent and hear Cole land a second behind me, just as I was about to run into the tent. He catches me around and the middle and we get into a mild slapping match before I elbow him in the ribs and run into the tent so find it empty.

"Where are—" I begin, only to be shoved aside roughly as Cole stumbles into the tent. I nearly stumble and fall, but catch myself just in time. I fix him a glare that goes unnoticed as he glances around the empty space.

"Where are they?" he asks me.

"I have no—"

We both turn as a thud comes from the corner of the room. Cole and I turn our attention towards there and see that the bathroom door is closed over.

"You don't think…"

"I don't know," Cole replies.

I creep over to the door and listen for a second before I knock and say, "James…Alice? Are you guys in there." When I get no answer I turn the handle and cautiously walk in. "James—" I break off with a shriek as I see them shagging against my bathroom wall. My bathroom wall! My bathroom where I have the bathe. My bathroom where I will always stare at that wall and remember what they were doing.

I slam the door back over and cover my eyes as Cole drags me away from the door.

"I told you not to go back over there," he snaps at me. "This is what you get for snooping."

"We have to move," I tell him. "Or fumigate the house. Not to mention burning out my eyes and Obliviating this from my memory."

"What am I supposed to tell you when we've moved?"

"That a terrible thing happened in this house and we had to move!"

The bathroom door flies open and James and Alice spill out looking embarrassed. Alice is furiously trying to work her hair back up into its ponytail. Her shirt rides up and for the first time I see the familiar swell of her stomach.

My eyes seem riveted to it, before I glance back up at James, who is busy zipping up his pants.

"Roe, I am so sorry!" Alice says, tugging on a sneaker. "I can not even begin to express how sorry—"

"It's okay," Cole says, cutting her off.

I am too distracted by Alice's stomach to object to Cole, the apparent all-forgiving man.

"I'm just going to wait outside," Alice says, ducking outside.

"Are you moving out?" I ask James.

"Yes."

"Cole, help him bring his things outside," I say, indicating I would like to talk to James alone.

"Er…sure." He takes out his wand and waves it. Just like that, all of James's things are neat and shrunk and on their way out.

Once Cole is gone I whip around to glare at James.

"So, you're back together?" I ask him.

"Yes, Roe," James snaps. "It's obvious, isn't it?"

"Are you mad at me, or something?"

"You're so nosy!"

"I said one day you'd thank me for my nosiness!"

James rolls his eyes, though a slight smile comes onto his lips.

"Is she…is she pregnant?" I ask.

James's smile freezes on his face and he hesitates before he nods.

"Almost five months."

"Merlin's shorts, James!"

"We broke up because I only proposed after she told me she was pregnant. She refused because she thought I was only asking because of the baby. I actually had the ring for ages, probably since we were still seventeen."

"Are you getting married?" I ask, dumbfounded.

He smiles again. "Yes. Right now, actually."

"Good for y—What?" I cry.

"Yeah. Thought we'd elope. It worked out so well for you two we figured what the hell?" James hugs me. "Do me a favor, will you? Tell Mum and Dad for me."

"What? What?" I cry as he walks past me.

He hurries from the house and I follow him.

"James, you fucker, don't you dare—"

"Bye, Roe."

"Thank you so much, for everything, Roe," Alice says. "I love you like a sister."

"Yeah, thanks," I say. "James, I mean it—"

He and Alice leave with a crack. There is a full minute of silence.

"What in the hell just happened?" Cole asks.

"They're pregnant and eloping," I inform Cole. He whistles. "Because of us."

"Huh?"

"They're eloping because of us," I say to him. "We're fucked. My Mum is going to kick our arses."

For about ten minutes we stand in the warm night air.

"Well, if they're gone I'm not wearing pants anymore," Cole says stepping back into the house. I stay out for another minute, staring up at the night sky, listening to the crickets, before Cole pokes his head back out. "Come on. You be nude, too."

I smile, my head still bent towards the sky.

"Okay."

A/N Please read and review!!


	23. Chapter 23

Nearly choking back vomit, I pull my hair back and bend over the toilet, puking out everything I have eaten in the past month it seems. Clutching onto the cool, porcelain surface, and resting my head against the side of the counter, I try and relax myself, even the slightest amount.

"It's okay, it's okay, it's okay," I chant to myself. "Everything is going to be okay." I try to reason with myself that there are a million and one reasons why I am so sick to my stomach, and that being pregnant is probably somewhere along number forty-seven.

Cole and I are always, always careful. There has not been one time in my entire memory of shagging that Cole and I weren't careful. We always do the spell and I sometimes take the potion. So, chances are I have a stomach bug.

Feeling better than I have all morning, I make my way back out into the living room, where Cole is napping on the couch, oblivious to my crisis in the bathroom. Seeing his chest rise and fall gracefully and peacefully puts me at ease. We aren't pregnant. If we were pregnant, than it would be a complete miracle. Cole would have to have super sperm or something. And I don't think he does have super sperm.

I probably ate something bad. Cole did try and make me eat sushi for the first time yesterday and I was sick last night. Sure, this will be the third morning in a row that I have puked, but it doesn't mean anything. I probably have a stomach bug.

I will not worry about it, I decide. I am going to get dressed and get ready for my lunch with Demi. Then the two of us will stop by Mum and Dad's to visit with them. Supposedly, Mum managed to get James, Alice, Michael and Elizabeth to agree to come today and she said I absolutely must come. I am going to swing back and pick up Cole on my way home from lunch with Demi.

"Cole," I whisper, bending down and pushing some hair out of his eyes. "Hey, love, I'm going out with Demi. I'll be back in two hours to come get you. Alright?"

He mumbles sleepily and promptly falls back asleep. Cole has become quite fond of his mid-day naps, which he takes almost everyday now since James has been gone, which is exactly five weeks from today.

About three weeks ago I finally got around to telling Mum and Dad that James eloped, though I told James I told them right away. Mum started sobbing and was actually quite offended with the idea.

"But…who would want to marry him?" she kept asking over and over and over again. Her shoulders shook and her eyes flowed heavily with tears. "He can't even do his own laundry!"

"Mum, he and Alice have been living with each other for a while," I said to her. "It was about time that they got married."

"What is the matter with my children? This is all your fault, you know. If you and your husband hadn't of eloped then he never would have gotten the idea into his head!" She let out a fresh sob and I nodded.

"If it makes you feel better to put all the blame on me, then that's fine, but James always marched to the beat of his own drum. If he knew a traditional wedding is what you wanted then it made eloping all the more appealing."

"Why would you say something so awful?" Mum cried, and then began crying again. "That's an awful thing to say to me! James LOVES me!"

"Mum, I didn't mean—" I started, but she had already run from the room and left me and my puppy, Scooter, alone.

I decided not to take Scooter with us after Dad practically begged me not to. After Cole and I were packing up and readying to leave, he came to me, holding the puppy and began telling me about all these awful things that could happen to the dog.

For example, that an alligator could come up on shore and eat the dog while we were sleeping. Or, if we were not in a climate for alligators, bears could eat the dog. And, while Scooter could be a little bastard at times, I surely did not want him eaten by another, bigger animal while Cole and I slept.

So, we let Mum and Dad keep the dog and they seemed to enjoy him way more than Cole and I ever could. They walk him and they talk in baby voices to him, which I could never see myself doing.

Anyways, I promised Demi I would meet her for lunch, so I find myself Apparating to our favorite eating spot.

Not for the first time she's beaten me to a meeting place. She raises her hand in greeting and smiles broadly at me. I notice the way her engagement ring glints in the soft sunlight coming in from the windows.

"Hey, Roe," she says, beaming broadly. "I already ordered a drink, but I think I can get—" She snaps at someone's turned back and they turn to her wearily. "Hello, could we please have another sweet tea?"

"Demi, what have I said about ordering for me?" I ask dully.

"Don't do it," she answers promptly, sipping from her straw. "And I wouldn't if I didn't know what you wanted. I do, so I do."

I let her win. It isn't worth it, partly because she's right, and partly because she's buttering her roll with a rather sharp knife. I, instead, glance down at the menu and carefully read through it, wondering what exactly my stomach will hold down.

"We have to eat light," I warn her. "My mum promised a fantastic lunch."

"I could eat an entire hippogriff and still have room for dessert," Demi says. "This baby must be a big fat man."

"Are you always hungry?" I ask wondrously.

She nods wide-eyed. "I've eaten four times already today. And I'm not talking snacking, either. I'm talking actual full-blown meals."

"How is that possible?" I ask. "You're still rail thin!"

She beams at me. "Why, thank you." She shrugs. "I don't know. Good genes, I suppose." She pats her stomach. "Can you tell I'm pregnant yet?"

"Not really."

"Mum said probably another month," Demi says, glancing down a bit worried. "She's dead excited for the baby, though."

"That's good," I say, smiling at her.

"Dad, too. Again, he said we're doing everything a bit early, but I can tell he's secretly excited. He started buying the baby clothes."

Everyone surprisingly took the news of Demi being pregnant rather well. No one freaked out all that much except Frank, who hyperventilated and then fainted. I had the pleasure of being there and it was quite funny for the first five minutes until Demi started sobbing and screaming and someone went and got a bucket of water and threw it on him. Then it got hilarious.

Frank woke up and tried to reason that they couldn't possibly be pregnant, which is when Demi blurted out that at five times a week it wasn't all that ridiculous. Poor Remus, who had thrown the bucket of water, totally freaked out and got all red in the face.

It was actually a wonderful, memorable experience that I happily got to be apart of. Cole was, as to be expected, a bit uncomfortable. He isn't exactly comfortable with everyone in my life. He still calls my parents Mr. and Mrs. Potter, though they've asked him to call them Ginny and Harry.

"Demi, how did you know you were pregnant?" I ask her as we get out salads.

"Could I please have an extra dressing on the side?" she asks the waiter and then turns to me. "Did you say something?"

"When did you know you were pregnant?"

"When did I know?" she asks. "Probably after I took the test and it said I was," she says, giving me a bemused look.

"How did you know to take the test?" I ask.

"Well, I got morning sickness for about two weeks straight and then I realized I had missed my period. It all seemed to add up, so I took a test." She digs into her salad at an impressive rate.

"You missed your periods?" I ask, a wondrous feeling crashing over me. I feel as though there is a giant strobe light at the end of this pregnancy scare tunnel. I have not missed a single period! I'm doing a little happy dance inside.

"Oh, yeah," she says, nodding. "At first I was excited. I thought maybe I stopped getting them. I wasn't going to complain…then, the morning sickness kicked in. And life as I knew it went to shit. For two weeks at least, until I told you and Frank. Now I'm back to loving life and loving this salad, I might add. My God this tastes fantastic!"

We continue on with lunch. I am so far beyond relieved that I even say that lunch is on me, my treat. Demi beams at me again and allows me to pay. I say it is for the baby.

It is when we are eating the dessert Demi insisted we get that she asks, "Why did you want to know?"

"What?"

"Why did you want to know when I found out I was pregnant?"

My cheeks instantly heat up and I fight for a plausible explanation. "I was just curious. You know, in case it ever happens to me. I just want to know what to look out for."

"Oh. Okay." She goes back to her cupcake, but glances up at me a second later. "I don't believe you."

I sigh. "Listen, Demi, it's really nothing. I just thought I might be. But I'm obviously not!"

"How are you obviously not?" she asks, frowning at me.

"I'm still getting my period," I say.

"Is it heavy?" she asks.

"Is this proper dessert talk?" I ask, scrunching up my nose.

"Is it?"

"I don't know, Demi! I don't remember!"

"Roe, sometimes women still have their periods while pregnant. Not everyone goes without them. Have you been spotting?"

"I don't—"

"Check!" Demi calls. "We're going to get a pregnancy test."

"I don't need—"

"Come on, he's taking forever." She plops some coins onto the table and stands up. "Let's go, Roe."

"I really don't think this is—"

"I don't care. Come on!"

She pulls me into the street and begins talking a mile a minute. "Now, I want you to start drinking this." She hands me a water bottle. "Drink up. You're going to need to pee for this. Also, we should probably buy a few of them. You never believe what the first test tells you."

She tugs me into the Apothecary. I hurriedly glance around to make sure I don't see anyone I know. I would simply die if I saw someone I knew whilst buying five pregnancy tests.

"These are bloody expensive!" I snap, staring at them. "What in the world does it do?"

"Well," says Demi, "you pee into the little cup it has and then add the pee to the potion. If it turns blue then you're pregnant. Red means you're not."

"This sounds messy. Maybe I should just wait."

"For what? 'Till you're crowning?" she asks. "Come on, don't be a baby. Here, I'll buy them for you."

She gathers five tests in her hand and brings them up the counter where I recognize someone from Hogwarts. The girl, sitting on a stool and popping her gum, raises her eyebrows at Demi and says, "Weren't you just in here a couple of months ago?"

"What can I say? My man loves him some loving."

I cringe the entire time we are paying. I glance around nervously, dreading the sound of the bell, for every time it rings I jump into the air.

"Alright," Demi says as we get back into the hot sun. "Let's go into the Leaky Cauldron bathroom. There's a lock on the door and we're sure to have some privacy."

I let Demi take the lead, a modest brown bag clutched firmly in her hand, and trail behind her as we weave our way through the afternoon crowds. We finally make our way into the Leaky Cauldron and head straight to the bathroom.

"Is anyone in here?" Demi calls, bending down to look under the stalls. "I've got explosive diarrhea. Anyone would be wise to leave now." She straightens up. "Okay, we're alone." She locks the door and turns back to me. "Don't look so nervous." She hugs me. "I'll tell you what. If you are pregnant then I'll buy you those really expensive shoes you were eying in the window on our way here and every other time we've come here." She smiles broadly. "It's a win-win situation."

I smile at her. "Okay." She must be pretty confident that I'm not pregnant. Those shoes were bloody expensive!

"Here." She rips the box open and dumps the contents into her hand. "Go into the stall and pee while I mix the potion. Oh, and be careful. It can get a bit messy."

"This is a very gross experience for nothing," I tell her.

She gives me a sympathetic look. "If it's nothing then it's nothing. But the morning sickness…"

"Or morning nausea," I say.

"It's just a bit fishy, Roe. Don't you want to be completely sure?"

I sigh. "Yes."

"Here. Pee into this."

I go into the stall and shut the door over. Immediately my nerves begin to react and my bladder constricts and I can not force any pee out.

"What in the name of Merlin is taking you so long?" Demi calls after ten minutes.

"I'm pee shy," I say. "Always have been."

"Do you want me to sing?"

"Maybe it will help. Nothing too boppy, I don't want to slosh," I say.

She breaks into a chorus of Happy Birthday and as soon as her voice begins singing I am able to pee. I pee as much as I can into the little cup and waddle over to the stall door, crack it open and thrust it at Demi. She, in return, hands me another cup.

I drink more of the water and sit on the toilet seat, my hear pounding wildly.

"Shit!" she says.

"What? What's the matter?" I cry.

"I dripped some of your pee on my hand!" she cries. "This is officially the grossest thing I've ever done for you!"

"I'm sorry," I say. "What does the test say?"

"Hold on," she says. From outside the stall I hear a faint pop. "Huh," she says.

"What does that mean?" I ask nervously.

"Give me more pee," she says.

"Hold on," I snap. "Start singing."

She does so and I hand her another small test cup of pee.

"Demi, don't make me wait, what does it say?"

"Take one more and I'll tell you," she says.

When I have given her a third cup of pee, I tug my underwear and pants back up and come out of the stall. There, along the sink's edge, are three vials filled with bright blue liquid.

I swallow.

"I wanted you to take it three times," Demi explains, "because now the odds are against it being wrong."

"I understand," I say. I swallow thickly again. "Give me the fourth one."

Demi cringes. "Roe…even if the fourth one was a negative you have three positive ones to cancel it out."

"But…this doesn't make sense! We're always careful!"

"Roe…maybe on time you weren't careful. Things happen. You might have thought you were being careful, but—"

"No, Demi, Cole doesn't get to get inside of me unless I am sure he has done the spell! Maybe…"

"Don't be too upset," Demi says. "Believe me, I know how you feel. At least you're married!" She smiles sadly at me. "It sucks. It will suck for a little bit. But don't let it suck too long. Get happy about it. Once you do, everything is mountains better."

"I don't know what to think," I admit. "I'm just so surprised!"

Demi glances down at her watch. "Shit, we're late for lunch with your mother."

"I can't go there!" I cry. "I can't go knowing I'm pregnant!"

"You have to! Your mother will skin you alive," Demi says. "We'll go get Frank and then we'll get Cole—"

"Oh, no! Cole! I have to tell Cole!"

"Roe calm down. Do you want my advice?"

"Yes," I say.

"Soften him up first. Don't just spring it on him."

"Right…" I pause. "When should I tell him?"

OoOoOo

I decided I was going to tell Cole tonight. It was as good a night as ever and I really wanted to get it off my chest. If Cole was happy about the baby, then I as well, would be happy about it. Right now I didn't know what to make of it. We're married, so it isn't like it would be some sort of a scandal, but at the same time we weren't exactly planning for one, which everyone knew.

Even with Demi and Alice being pregnant and Elizabeth with a newborn, it didn't really give me much baby hunger. Sometimes, when Cole was still asleep, I would stick a pillow under my stomach to see what it would look like, only to promptly take it out as I saw how ridiculous I will look pregnant.

The entire idea of pregnancy scares the shit out of me. While it was fun getting the baby inside of me, it won't exactly be much fun getting the baby out of me. I have already talked to Demi, who is also scared of giving birth. I was there with Elizabeth and it looked like it hurt like a bitch. I'm not sure I will be able to do it. I'll have to, obviously, unless I can find a very good way of not having to actually give birth. Perhaps I'll make enough of a fuss and they'll conk me out for it.

Lunch with the family was dead awkward. All I could think about was the baby currently growing inside of me. I didn't eat anything, I wasn't listening to anything anyone said to me, and I think Cole noticed. Regardless, I am going to tell him right away. I want to talk about it with him. I need to know how he feels about it.

So, when Cole and I get back from my parent's house I start kissing him the way I know he likes. There is a sure fire way to Cole turned on within seconds and I am using it to the best of my advantage. I need him to be too far beyond comprehension when I drop this little bomb shell. The best way is to get him right after mind blowing sex. That way he'll be half asleep and mumble an 'okay' like he does when I say anything after sex. In the morning when I bring it up again and he starts freaking out I'll simply explain that I've already told him and he can't be angry with me.

"Let's go to bed," I whisper in his ear.

I lovingly remove all of his clothes before removing mine. I trail kisses everywhere and kiss on particular spot on his neck which is a place I found soon after dating. Cole and I made a deal that I would never kiss that spot in public because you can instantly tell he's turned on. I kind of embarrassed him one time while we were out to lunch. We were just kissing in a corner booth and I accidentally tread upon that particular spot. I remember that he jumped as though electrocuted and his knees knocked against the bottom of the table, causing our drinks to slosh a bit.

I kiss him lovingly on the mouth before trailing my kisses downwards. Unlike with Michael I don't really mind giving Cole blowjobs. It's probably because I'm really in love with Cole, while I had to tell myself to be in love with Michael, especially towards the end. Cole certainly doesn't mind receiving them, though he did confide in me that I was the first person who had ever done that to him.

It makes sense, actually, as the first time I offered to do it he got all clammed up and nervous-like before agreeing. He buried his hand in my hair and nearly yanked out a chunk of it towards the end, but I didn't mind. I never mind.

He never lets himself finish that way, though, unless I make it clear that I really want him to. Generally I don't, just so that we can immediately begin shagging. The first time I did let him finish we had to wait about ten minutes before he could even think about it again. All the while I was trying to keep him from doing the same thing to me and accidentally-on-purpose kicked him in the face.

"I love you," I whisper in his ear.

"I love you, too," Cole manages through ragged breaths.

"I really, really, really love you, Cole," I say staring at him dead in the eye.

He gives a short laugh and says, "I know, Roe. Hey, are you alright?"

"I'm fine," I say, smiling down at him. "I just…" I give him another smile. "Forget it. How do you want to do it? You get to choose."

"I get to choose?" Cole asks. "What have I done to get such an honor?"

I laugh, but kiss his neck again. "No, tonight is all about you."

"All about me?" he questions.

I nod enthusiastically. "All about you."

"It isn't my birthday," he says.

"Spot on, smarty," I reply. I laugh at his bewildered face. "Can't I just show you how much I love you?"

"Not without making me nervous," he replies, smiling all the same.

"No. Don't be nervous, Cole," I say, feeling slightly nervous myself. "I don't want to shag tonight—"

"What? I thought I got to—"

"No…let's just make love, okay?" I say, resting my hands on his shoulders. "Is that alright? We'll just do it nice and slow."

"That's fine," he says, picking up his head to kiss me.

Nice and slow gave me plenty of time to pluck up the courage to actually say the words that were buried in the pit of my stomach. Even if I don't get the courage tonight, we'll just make love every single night until I get a baby bump and don't have to say anything.

"Well," Cole says, cocking an eyebrow at me, "if we are going to take this slow, and we are going to make it last a nice, long time, then you should have something done for you."

I smirk down at him. "You don't have to—"

"I want to, silly. I don't do anything I don't want to do," he says, flipping me onto my back.

"Sure you do," I say, giggling at he kisses along my neck. "Like family lunches."

"Don't be silly, I love your family."

"Ha! Now I know you're lying," I say, pushing some hair out of his eyes.

"What's not to love? You get to have this big, loud, dysfunctional family! You get to fight with siblings and cousins. You don't know how jealous I am of you."

"Of me and my loud, obnoxious family?"

"You've been to my house. We all get along and my parents never fight with each other or me. I am the only child of only children. My parents are all I have. Well, besides you," he says, kissing me. "Now I have you."

"I love you."

"I love you," he replies. "I love you and your giant, obnoxious family."

I raise an eyebrow at him and smile. "I love your tiny, quiet family," I return. "With their house elves and foreign tea."

"You can't possibly mean that inky black tea they served last week?"

"Yes! That exact tea."

"It tasted like…I don't even know what. The main course of Hell, I suppose."

"It tasted like black licorice!"

"Exactly my point."

"You don't like black licorice?"

"No. It's the Devil."

I throw my head back and laugh at him. I laugh at my adorable husband. The same husband who is about to find out that I have his child somewhere inside of me, growing into a baby as we speak. Poor boy doesn't know that probably in an hour's time he will be a father.

So, even though I wanted this entire evening to be about him, for about four minutes it was all about me. And I am not ashamed to say I very much enjoyed it, as I do all the other times he does it for me.

"See, wasn't that nice?" he asks, kissing my neck.

"I love that you need some ego coaxing seconds after the fact," I reply with a breathy laugh, trying to catch my breath. "It's always nice."

"I knew deep down you liked it when it's about you, too," he says, smiling at me.

"Human nature," I reply.

"Hmm," Cole murmurs.

"What did you think about Violet today?" I ask, kissing his nose.

"What about her?" he asks.

"She's cute, right?"

"Very. You know, I must admit. I don't really like babies, especially since they turn into snotty little First Years, but she is really cute. At first she kind of looked like an old Polish man, but she's cuter now."

"So you think babies can be cute," I say. "That's what you're saying."

"Sure they can be cute."

"And you like cute stuff."

"I like you," Cole says, kissing my forehead. "Is that what you're fishing for? A compliment?"

I force out a laugh. "Caught me."

"You just need to ask. I think you're cute and sweet and incredibly attractive. Not to mention funny and amazing—" And pregnant, I think to myself, a nervous swoop racing through my stomach.

"You're the greatest person in the world," I say to him, cutting him off.

"What have I done to achieve such a high honor?" he asks, giving a soft laugh.

"You're here when I need you," I say.

"Of course I am," he replies. "You're my wife."

"And you love me."

"What is the matter with you tonight? Of course I love you. I've been making that pretty clear since Second Year."

I give him a broad smile and then kiss his nose again.

"I'm sorry. I'm being silly," I say and hug him closer to me. "I just love hearing you say it."

"There's nothing wrong with that," he says, kissing my neck and down to my shoulder. "I love saying it to you."

No matter what happens in the next few hours it will never compare to what I am feeling right now. All of my nervousness instantly evaporates. He does love me, and even if the baby was unplanned, he'll love me with the baby.

"Make love to me, dear husband," I say, smiling up at him.

"Gladly," he replies, kissing me. "Oh, wait! Can't forget to do the spell, can we?"

"Right…that would be a _damn shame_," I say. I want to tell him that it is futile, but I don't want all the build up of sex, just to abruptly stop it. For his sake, at least.

"What say you, my lady, is this slow enough?" he asks, easing in.

I laugh. "Perfect," I reply as I brush the hair from his eyes.

Shagging is nice when you're in a rush, or if both of us need an instant release, but it wouldn't do tonight. Tonight was about touching and talking and kissing slowly as though we had all the time in the world.

We try to do this at least once a week.

As much as we love being out in this field doing nothing all day, it does get a bit boring and shagging and making love seem to be the only things to do. We've explored all we've cared to. And Cole and I are a bit reluctant to move. James and Dad both reminded us of the spell, but I like the field we're in. Also, neither of us really cared about other places in the world, which we admitted to each other a while back. So, until we're ready to purchase an actual house, we'll stay here.

"Oh my goodness," I say into his ear, clutching onto his hair.

But after my little outburst, there isn't much more talking, aside from the sporadic cry from one of us, for some time.

"Why don't we do this more often?" Cole grunts against my neck, breaking the silence.

"I don't know," I reply.

"We should…"

"Okay," I say, feeling the familiar tingle start at my toes.

I arch into him and feel him kiss me on the lips, hard and demanding. I relax and let myself melt into the bed below me, feeling absolutely loved.

"I love you, Roe," Cole says, leaving small kisses wherever his lips fall. I smile against his hair.

I nuzzle his neck and then, working up as much strength as I can muster, whisper in his ear, "I'm pregnant, Cole."

It was so soft, my admission, that I was sure he wouldn't hear it over his own breathing. He did however, for he tensed and then, after a seconds pause, raised his head to look at me, wide-eyed.

"What?"

"I'm pregnant, Cole," I say to him.

"You're…sure?"

"I took a test while I was out with Demi this afternoon," I say to him. "It was a positive…so were the other two I took. You know, just to make sure."

He rolls off of me and then sits up and rests his elbows against his knees over the blanket. I can tell he's thinking furiously.

"Oh, God," he says finally. He sounds rather horrified and I feel a pang of nervousness.

"I know. Listen, I was just as surprised as you were. It was an accident."

"This can't be happening," he says out loud.

"Hey, Cole." I go to him wrap my arms around him and kiss the side of his face. "Don't worry. We'll figure this out."

He turns to me. "I have to tell you something."

"Oh…sure. Try and top this, though," I quip, watching as he gives me a nervous look.

"Okay, listen, Roe, just promise me one thing." He turns towards me.

"Okay, what?" I ask.

"Please, whatever I am about to say, don't get mad at me, don't hit me, and don't scream at me. Promise?"

"Um…okay, Cole, sure," I say, shrugging. "I promise not to get mad at you or scream at you."

"Or hit me."

"We'll see." I smile at him again, but he does not return my smile and I find myself nervously waiting to hear what he has to tell me. What on Earth trumps baby?

Cole takes a deep, shuddering breath and then releases it. He then looks at me and I see for the first time he seems incredibly nervous about something.

"Cole, what's the matter?"

"Your being pregnant may be my fault," Cole says.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean…it may be more of my fault than it is your fault."

"I don't understand," I say. "It really isn't anyone's fault. It was an accident."

"Erm…Oh, Merlin," Cole sighs, rubbing his temples. "No. It's my fault. It wasn't an accident."

"Cole, did you purposely get me pregnant?" I ask.

"Well…no, but—"

"Then it isn't anyone's fault."

"But it is."

I sigh heavily and roll my eyes. "Cole—"

"Do you remember the day James left?"

"Uh, yeah…we also had lunch with Demi and Frank."

"Right…Do you remember how we also shagged that day?"

I frown. "Vaguely."

"Do you remember being really rushed because you only gave us ten minutes to do it?"

"Not particularly—"

"You kept telling me to hurry up, hurry up, hurry up! That I only had nine minutes left to get it done or we couldn't do it at all?" Cole begins to explain.

"Cole," I say softly.

"And remember how I couldn't find my wand?" Cole says.

"Cole," I say louder.

"And you kept telling me to hurry up or I'd have to do it myself…"

"Cole!" I shout. "Did you do the spell?" I ask loudly. He purses his lips together. "Cole!"

"No, alright? No. I couldn't find my wand and you were rushing me…so I just did it."

"Did what?" I ask.

"I kind of made it seem like I did do the spell," he says softly. "But you were on top!"

"What?" I cry.

"You can't get pregnant on top…at least, that's what James told me—"

"Cole!" I scream. "You can too get pregnant on top! You can pregnant doing it upside down in space! As long as semen enters me there is a good chance of getting pregnant!" I begin breathing heavily. "Why would you listen to James? Why would you do something so stupid?"

"He said he'd done it plenty of times and no one's gotten pregnant!"

"How about Alice, his pregnant girlfriend?" I ask. "What about her?"

"She's actually his wife right now," Cole informs me.

"Cole!"

"Alright, alright…I'm sorry, Roe. I wasn't thinking straight and it was in no way acceptable…"

I watch his sorrowful expression and feel my heart melt. I'm a bit angry, but at the same time I realize it's my fault as well.

"Come here," I say and he cautiously edges towards me. "I won't rush you anymore," I say to him. "I'm making a promise to you now, that I won't do that anymore. It isn't fair to you either. And on that note, it isn't exactly just your fault. I was being a bitch and I was rushing you."

"It's more my fault," he says.

"Yes it is," I reply, but catch his chin in my hand and turn it towards me. "There's nothing we can do now," I say to him. "I'm pregnant."

"You're not angry?" he asks.

"I don't know," I say. "A bit, I suppose. There's just nothing to be done now. The baby isn't going to go away. We're stuck with it." I smile at him. "Let's go to bed. We'll talk in the morning."

We clean up and get into bed separately. When I finally slide under new sheets, I know Cole still feels completely guilty. He usually washes up last so that I change the sheets and he can come right to bed, but tonight he offered to go first and let me lie in bed.

As I flip off the light and turn towards him I think to myself that I don't want Cole to feel guilty for the rest of his life. I wasn't overjoyed to find out I was pregnant, but I'm not heartbroken, either. Everything happens for a reason.

"I love you," I say sleepily, resting my head against his chest.

"I love you, too."

And though we both pretend to, neither of us falls asleep for a long, long time.

OoOoOo

The next morning I wake to absolute silence. I timidly raise my head and see the familiar soft light fluttering in from the windows. It drifts across the living room area into the kitchen, and splashes against the kitchen table, where a plate of food sits invitingly.

I yawn and raise my arms over my head, working out all the kinks. One glance around the house tells me that Cole isn't here. I sigh heavily and throw the covers off of me and pad my way into the kitchen. I sit down at the table and immediately have to fight the waves of nausea that make themselves present at this time every morning.

I stand up, already knowing I am going to vomit in seconds, and walk towards the bathroom. Sure enough, as soon as I open the door I feel the hot, burning sensation of vomit begin to creep up my throat.

I bend over the toilet and let it out, as I have no choice in the matter, and, when it is finally finished, rinse out my mouth with mouthwash. I then wash my face, as I broke out in a slight sweat.

When that is done, I make my way back out into the kitchen and over to the plate of pancakes and bacon that is still sitting, still waiting to be devoured. I sit down again and pick up the fork that was helpfully laid next to the plate, on top of a crisp white napkin.

Directly across from the plate is a folded piece of paper. Dreading what it might say, I pick it up and unfold it.

_Roe, I went for a walk. I don't know when I'll be back, but don't worry, I will be back. I just want to think. I love you…and the baby. Love, Cole._

I fold it again and set it next to the plate and dig into the cooling breakfast. It tastes so much better than I could have thought. I always surprise myself by the amount of love one girl could have for a pile of bacon. If I were to think about it, I would probably gross myself out, seeing as bacon is merely dirty, filthy pig fat, but wrapped around a steaming pancake and dipped in sweet maple syrup it tastes better than anything else, no matter what it is.

When I'm done I wash the dish and then make our bed. Once that is done I sit down on the couch and put my feet up on the coffee table. There isn't much else to do when Cole isn't here, which is why I wish he wouldn't just leave. I will now ask that he brings me along on these walks.

After a few minutes of just sitting on the couch, letting my body digest the ten pounds of bacon fat I just ate, I get up and head back towards the bedroom. I go to the full length mirror in the corner and drag it out to the center of the room. I then go to the couch and pluck a pillow off of it and stand in front of the mirror again.

Holding the pillow at my side, I turn and survey my stomach. I can't see anything yet, though I know there is something there inside of me. I lift my shirt up and stick the pillow under it. I turn to the side again and sigh.

"I'm going to look so ridiculous…"

"You'll look beautiful," Cole's voice says from behind the mirror.

I glance around it and see him sitting on a kitchen chair, watching me with a slight smile on his face.

"It isn't polite to stare," I say to him, a bit red in the face as I take the pillow out from under my shirt. "How long have you been there, anyway?"

"Only about a minute," he says. "But just long enough."

"I just wanted to see what I was getting myself into," I reply. "Or what you got me into," I say. I instantly feel guilty, my joke not going over so well with Cole. The smile slips off of his face and he stares at his hand.

"Roe, I'm—"

"I know you're sorry and I don't want to hear it anymore. Let's face it; this was bound to happen one way or another. We're not exactly celibate people. And, plus, you had solid evidence that it never happened if I was on top." I quirk a smile, but Cole does not return it. I get all nervous again. "Cole!"

"Huh? What?"

"Are you going to act like this for the rest of our lives?" I ask.

"Act like what?"

"Like some sort of a zombie, or something," I say. "Stop feeling guilty! It's just as much my fault as it is yours, and I'm not upset by it so I see no reason why you should be!"

"You're really not angry?" he questions.

"No, Cole!" I say, giving a laugh. "I'm really not. I would have let you know if I were." I go to him and place my hands on the side of his face. "I don't know…aren't you kind of excited?"

He shrugs. "I don't know. I guess so." He looks at me for a second before he says, "I have a surprise for you."

"A bigger one than getting me pregnant?" I ask.

"Will you stop saying that?" he snaps.

"No, I will not," I reply. "It's funny. We'll laugh about it some day, you'll see."

"I don't think it's very funny," Cole replies.

"Right, you're still immensely guilty," I say, rolling my eyes. "Fine. What kind of surprise is it?"

"Get dressed," he says.

"Where are we going?"

"Just get dressed and you'll see," he replies.

"I hate surprises," I grumble, going over to armoire where I keep all of my clothes. I sift through them for a minute before turning back to him. "Do I have to look fancy?"

"If you want to," he says.

"Do I want to?" I ask.

"I don't know, what do you think?"

"I don't know what to think because you won't tell me!"

"Just dress casual, then," he replies. "We're not going anywhere fancy."

"Is this okay?" I ask, tugging out a black dress.

"Erm…sure? I don't know!"

"If you would just tell me where we were going then I could properly pick out an outfit! I mean, am I supposed to look cute or sophisticated?"

Cole comes over to peer into the small space where I have crammed an entire wardrobe. He sifts through it before pulling out a pair of plaid shorts and a purple shirt.

"There."

"Cole, that doesn't even match!" I snap, snatching it back from him. "In what world does green, red and navy blue go with purple?"

"How am I supposed to know? They all fit nicely together in the rainbow!"

I roll my eyes and pull on the purple shirt with a pair of jean shorts. I then brush out my long hair and stare at it in the mirror for a second.

"Do I need a haircut?" I ask Cole.

"No, I like your long hair."

"But is it too long?"

"Did I grow a vagina overnight that I'm not aware of?" he asks. "How am I supposed to know these kinds of things? Your hair looks great, you would look great in a burlap sack and, no, before you even ask, I do not know what shoes will go with that outfit. Come barefoot, I do not care."

"Do not snap at me, mister," I snap. "I just wanted your opinion on what I should wear. I do not want to get there and find that I am severely overdressed or underdressed. Shoot me over it."

"Look, I'm sorry," Cole says immediately. "I just want to get there."

"The surprise is a there?" I ask, a smile on my face. "Very interesting."

I decide to leave my hair down and watch, somewhat amazed, as it flutters down almost to my butt.

"I'm going to get a haircut next week," I announce as I grab our change purse. "Oh, and Cole…when we get back I think we should talk."

Cole swallows and nods. "Sure."

"And we should probably make a doctors appointment."

"Right," he says. "Sounds good."

We exit the tent and I turn back to him. "Are we flooing or Apparating?"

"Apparating," Cole says. He extends his hands towards me. "Let me show you the way."

"Obviously," I say, smiling. I feel his bigger, warmer hand enclose around mine and smile up at him. He returns my smile, a bit nervously.

"Ready?"

"Yes," I say.

"Close your eyes," he instructs. "And keep them closed until I say to open them."

I sigh. "Fine." I close my eyes.

"Here we go," he says and I feel us lift off. Our shoulders bang together at first and I struggle to breathe. On top of that, it is very difficult to keep my eyes closed with all this jostling and lack of air.

Finally, after many minutes, our feet land a bit awkwardly on my part, and Cole grabs a hold of my shoulder to keep from falling over. I wipe all of my hair out of my eyes and squeeze my eyes shut again, as they had opened a bit on their own accord. I didn't see anything, though.

"Where are we?" I ask.

"Are you peeking?" he asks.

"No, Cole, I'm not."

"Okay. I was up all night last night after you fell asleep just thinking. So, this morning at about three o'clock I got up and went to see my dad. I told him what happened and asked for his advice. He said living out in a field in a tent wasn't where we needed to be. He said we should start our family living in a house…Open your eyes."

I open them and look up at the house in front of me. My mouth drops open as I take in the vast size of it. There are four columns on a front porch and what seems like thousands of windows. It sits on acres and acres of land.

"What do you think?" he asks. "This is just the first one I've got planned for us."

"Erm…it's a bit…big, isn't it?"

"Huh?" he asks.

"It's very big."

"I guess so…"

"Cole, I appreciate what you're doing, but this house isn't what I've ever dreamed of."

"Oh," he says and frowns. He glances back up at it. "You're right…I guess it is too big. We can go see the next one if you want."

"Cole…darling, love of my life, are we ready to buy a house?" I ask. "Are we ready to choose the place that we'll live in for the rest of our lives?"

"Roe, I was born and brought up in the houses that my parents split their time between. I think we owe it to the baby to pick a spot that it will live in until it moves out. The tent will be too small for the three of us. And I want to be near our families."

I sigh. "This isn't because you still feel guilty, is it?" I ask.

"No. I want to buy a house and move out of the tent. We should be closer to our families during this time."

"Okay…What else do you have?"

What he has were three other colossal mansions that would fit my entire Weasley family along with half of Hogwarts…comfortably! I do not come right out and tell him that we obviously have different tastes in where we want to live, but I think he figures it out.

One landlady was giving us a tour and I accidentally got lost. It took me fifteen minutes to find Cole again, and by that time we had lost the landlady, who was staying in the house until she found a buyer.

"That one was nice," Cole says as we head out towards the last one.

"I like the carpeting," I say, pulling my hair back. "It was certainly interesting."

"It would be big enough so the baby could have a bedroom and a playroom all to itself. We wouldn't even know it was there when it got older." Oh, Heavens! Our baby was going to spoiled.

"I want to know where the baby is. That house was scary. I had a feeling it was purposely trying to lure me away from you so it could eat me or something."

Cole sighs. "Too big?"

"Way too big! I actually got lost in it."

"You just took a wrong turn," Cole says.

"Yes, into a whole another wing with bathrooms and bedrooms and drawing rooms—"

"Alright, I get it. I picked all the wrong houses to look at." He sighs heavily. "Let's go get something to eat. There's a wizarding town around here somewhere."

We walk down the path into a small town. I can immediately tell it's a wizarding town just by glancing around at it. There are people in robes bustling around and the odd cracks and pops coming from a corner shop while the children inside giggle. It was no Diagon Alley, but it was cute and homey just the same.

"It's a nice town," I say to Cole as we sit down at a table. He hands me a menu and merely grunts in response. "It would be nice to get a house close to here." I look around, wondering if there is a map anywhere. "Do you think they sell maps?"

"Why?" Cole asks.

"I want to know where we are exactly. How close to my house, your house, you know," I say, turning in my seat to stare at the people in back of us.

"You look crazy," Cole informs me.

Our waitress comes to take our order. "Um, actually, can you tell us where we are?" I ask. "How close to London?"

"I guess about five minutes," she says.

"Hmm…thank you. I'll have some tea—" which I've been hella craving lately—"and a turkey club…and some cookies."

"How many?"

"Six."

"Um…okay…And you, sir?"

"I'll have some tea, a BLT and a cookie as well," Cole says.

"Okay. Seven cookies. I'll be right back."

I watch her walk away with narrowed eyes.

"What did she mean by that? Seven cookies?"

"Didn't you order six?"

"Yes."

"And didn't I order one?"

"Yes."

"Well, if my basic math is correct, six plus one is seven."

"Tell her I'm pregnant," I say.

"What? Why?"

"So she doesn't think I'm fat!"

"You aren't fat!"

"She doesn't know that!"

"She's got eyes, Roe!"

"Shh, she's coming back over here!"

Cole glares at me as our selected lunches are set in front of us.

"Darling, here you go," I say, sliding four cookies onto Cole's plate. I turn to the waitress with a smile. "He's a bit shy." She gives me a bewildered look and walks away.

"Yes, thank you," Cole says.

"Okay, she isn't looking, give them back," I say.

"Oh, no," he replies. "You gave them to me. I'm eating them."

"Cole!"

"Sorry, Indian giver," he says as he begins to eat the cookies.

"You brat," I reply. "Don't you dare eat another cookie! I mean it—Cole!"

"For the love of Merlin, here!" He tosses two cookies back onto my plate and raises an eyebrow at me. "Happy?"

"No, I am not happy," I reply. "Cookie eater."

"Indian giver."

We finish lunch in silence. I do not look at Cole and he does not look at me, which we both seem to find just peachy. He can be such a little brat sometimes that I could kill him. All he had to do was hand back the cookies!

"Are you ready?" Cole asks, reaching into his pockets. "Wait…is this place Muggle or magical?"

"Magical," I reply. "I think." I glance around but do not see any tell-tale signs. There seem to be a lot of kids hanging around and I try to recognize anyone from Hogwarts. "Oh, wait! Isn't that…oh, shit, what's her name?"

"Who?" Cole turns around.

"Right there, with the braids. Wasn't she in Hufflepuff?"

"I don't know…maybe," Cole says. "It doesn't matter. I'll leave one of each."

"That doesn't make sense!"

"Roe don't worry about it," Cole says, tossing down some coins and paper. "See, no harm no fowl."

"Where are you getting all this money?" I ask as we walk back into the street. "You keep taking me to this big, sprawling mansions and you're paying with both Muggle and wizarding money…Come into some money I'm not aware of?"

"Yes, actually."

"What?" I ask. "When?"

"This morning."

"This morning?"

"Yes."

"Yes?"

"Are you going to repeat everything I say in question form?"

"Am I going to repeat everything you say in question form?" I ask and then catch myself. "Sorry. You came into money?"

"When I turned seventeen I was legally entitled to my inheritance. I decided not to take it until I got out of Hogwarts. Then we graduated Hogwarts and it's just been sitting in the bank. Dad and I went this morning and collected it."

"How much?" I ask.

"Enough," he says, quirking a smile. "I knew you only wanted me for my money."

I roll my eyes. "Right, darling, only for your money," I say.

"There's this last house we can look at. If we don't like it we can always come back again next weekend. Dad made a few calls this morning to different wizarding towns. This is the last house…"

He takes my hand and we stroll along the quaint little cobblestone path until we turn a corner and cross the street. We walk for a while down two neighborhoods before Cole frowns.

"I could have sworn it was over here somewhere," he says to me.

I do not answer, for my eyes are riveted to a house just up the hill. My first impression of it is that it's old and has been lived in and probably needs some work, but it could surely be something special. It's certainly smaller than what Cole has been showing me today.

"Is that it?" I ask, pointing at it.

"I don't know," Cole says, glancing down at the list, which has scribbled addresses all over it. "I can't really read my own writing."

"It's for sale," I say. "Come on."

We walk up the hill until we are standing in front of an old, Victorian-style house. It's surrounded by trees. From the sidewalk there is a rosebush-lined path to the small porch in front of the front door. It is a white, ivy-covered house with black shutters.

"I don't think this is the one I had in mind," Cole says as I peek into the windows. "We can't just knock—"

I knock on the door and turn back to Cole with a shrug.

"What's the harm?"

"Aren't there supposed to be open houses and stuff? Is it right to just barge in on these people's lives?"

"We aren't really hurting anyone. If they want to give us a look then they will."

"It's quiet," Cole says as I hear footsteps come to the door. "And green. I like the yard."

"See?" I say.

The door opens and a woman in a plum colored jacket and matching skirt stands across from us, a lit cigarette in her hand.

"Are you the Plimptons?" she asks.

"N—" Cole begins.

"Yes, we are," I say, extending my hand and giving her a warm smile. "How are you?"

"Fine, fine. Come on in." She steps aside and I tug Cole inside with me, though he digs his feet into the porch floor.

"We are not the Plimptons, you liar," he hisses in my ear as I let my eyes travel over the foyer and into the sunny living room.

"Be quiet," I snap, swatting at him. "We'll only stay for a couple of minutes. I just want to look around."

Cole obviously doesn't know that we are currently standing in one of my dream houses. Since I was very little I've always wanted to live in a house much like the one I am in right now. Whether it is because of the old, homey feeling these houses always have, or the plain beauty of them, I don't know.

"I'm so glad you two could make it out here on such short notice," the woman says as we look around. "I was afraid you wouldn't be able to come what with all your traveling, Mr. Plimpton."

Cole doesn't realize that he's been spoken to, so I nudge him, hard, with my elbow and he immediately snaps to attention.

"Oh…erm, yes. I found myself back in the country."

"I must say, you two are much younger than I thought you were going to be," she says, peering at us in turn. "You sound much older on the phone." She takes a drag from her cigarette.

Crap, she's a Muggle! Muggle's must have wanted to buy this house. The woman must not know she is currently a five minute walk from a very busy wizarding town.

"May we look around?" I ask cautiously.

"Of course! Of course," she says, waving her hand emphatically. Ashes from her cigarette jostle off and float to the ground. "I'll be down here if you need me." She reaches into her purse and brings out a small compact.

"Come on, Cole," I say, taking his hand and walking down a hallway towards the back of the house. I pass a sunny atrium with potted plants and stain glass windows. Brightly upholstered wicker furniture sits on white tile floors.

"This is big, too," Cole informs me.

"Not as big as what you were showing me earlier," I say, getting defensive. "Will you just give this place a chance?"

"I am giving it a chance!" he retorts. "I was simply saying—"

I stop listening to him as we re-enter the foyer and go back even further towards the kitchen. There is an island with a Muggle stove, which I think I could learn to work. Not to mention various other Muggle appliances I haven't even seen before.

"Nice sized kitchen," Cole remarks.

I smile at his turned back. "Let's go upstairs."

We walk back into the foyer and take the big staircase as the realtor's voice says, "There's also a back stair in the kitchen!"

We reach the top of the stairs and, to my surprise, see that there must be a third floor, as the stairs keep going.

I walk along down the hallway and poke my head in the first door that I find. It's a large bedroom with light blue walls and shiny wooden floors. I close the door over and head down the big hall and peek into the next room. This must be the master bedroom, I decide. It's bigger than the last. I step inside of it.

"Roe?" Cole peaks his head in. "There's five bedrooms just on this floor alone!"

"I really like it here, Cole," I say to him. "It feels very comfortable."

"I like it here, too."

"Can we make an offer?" I ask excitedly.

"Don't you want to wait?"

"No," I say, shaking my head. "I feel it in my heart. I think this is where we should be."

"She's a Muggle, though," Cole says. "I don't have any identification—"

"Start throwing numbers around," I say. "She seems like the type of woman who is swayed by money. Don't they get some sort of a cut from whatever the house gets?"

"I have no idea," Cole says with a shrug.

From outside I hear the sound of a car door slamming and turn towards the window. I hurry over and look outside to see a silver car parked outside and two gray-haired people making their way up the path towards the door.

"Oh, no!" I groan. "I think the Plimptons are here! Quick go downstairs and make an offer. More than what they're asking for!"

"Okay. You distract them."

"Who?"

"The Plimptons! Come on, keep up!"

We race down the stairs just as the doorbell rings.

"Excuse me, ma'am?" Cole calls, just as she stands to go towards the door. She turns back to him. "I'd like to put in an offer!"

"Wonderful! Let me just get the—"

"I'll give you more than asking price," Cole says. "Name your price."

She widens her eyes. "Well, that's very generous, Mr. Plimpton."

"I've got the door," I say, a sweet smile plastered on my face. "Why don't you two talk over numbers in the kitchen?"

"Alright, then," the woman says, linking arms with Cole. "Now, my name is Miranda Porter. Do you mind if I smoke?" she asks as they walk into the kitchen.

I turn back towards the door and hurry over to it, arranging my hair in the least threatening manner I can do. I open the door just in time to hear the man say, "It's much too large, Marjorie! How am I supposed to climb all those stairs?"

"Walter, this was your idea!" the woman snaps back.

"Hello, can I help you?" I ask, the sweet smile still decorating my face.

"Yes, we're the Plimptons. We had a four o'clock appointment with Mrs. Porter," Walter says.

I give him a sympathetic look. "Hi. I'm Roe Potter-Malfoy, Mrs. Porter's three o'clock. My husband and I have actually decided to make an offer on the house."

"Oh," Marjorie says, peering into the house. "Well, alright then." She smiles brightly down at me. "Well, tell Mrs. Porter that we've stopped by and to give us a call."

"Yes, sure thing. I'll do that," I say.

I watch them walk away and back into their tiny, silver car. They speed off and around the corner. That was way too easy.

I close the door over and turn back to the empty living room. We'll certainly have to buy more furniture, but I think it'll be really nice here.

I peek into the kitchen and see Cole and Mrs. Porter filling out various forms. Cole seems a bit confused as to how to use a Muggle pen and stares at it for a second before experimentally bringing it down to the paper and signing his name.

I go to the stairs and sit down on the fourth one to look all around our new house. I can't believe we just bought a house. I feel like a grownup or something!

After another twenty minutes Cole finally comes to look for me. The second he sees me he gives me a relieved look.

"Okay. We're all set."

"Everything's okay?" I ask.

"Yup. I had to tell her we weren't actually the Plimptons. She got a bit ruffled until I added more money onto the asking price and offered to get her hair tinted, which was actually her idea, and not all that legal."

"But we're getting the house?"

He gives me a broad smile. "Yup, we're getting the house!"

I stand up and, seeing as I'm on the fourth step, bring my lips across air to kiss him. He smiles into my kiss before pulling back.

"So does this make up for the baby?"

"Cole," I say with a sigh.

"I'm joking!" he says, laughing. "Jeez, you can joke all morning about it and the second I do it…" He breaks off as I kiss him again.

"Where's Mrs. Porter?"

"In the kitchen calling her office. She has the funniest little thing she talks into! Apparently someone on the other side also has one. It's much handier than a fireplace, I'll tell you that much."

I smile brightly at him. "When do we move in?"

"About forty days," he says. "Which gives us plenty of time to say goodbye to the tent."

"I will miss it," I say. "We've had some memories in it."

"We have," he says.

"We conceived the baby in it," I say.

"Which reminds me," he says.

"We need to talk," I finish for him. "Yes, we do."

I hug him close to me and breathe in his scent. He always smells so nice. He's always smelled nice, actually, if I think about it. Like Cole. I couldn't describe it. Just nice.

"Let's go," he says.

We go into the kitchen and say our goodbyes to Mrs. Porter, and promise to meet her for lunch sometime next week to "hammer out the details" in her words. She says she'll give us a call, to which I say don't bother, we don't have a phone. She gives us a perplexed look, but as we've just financed a family trip for her, not to mention her hair to be tinted, she doesn't press the point.

And then, as we watch Mrs. Porter drive away, we turn to view our house from the outside in all its grand presence.

"It's going to be good here," Cole says. "I can feel it."

"I feel it, too," I reply.

Cole kisses the back of my head.

OoOoOo

A/N The story, sadly, is drawing to an end. I think I may break it at an even 30 chapters, but do not hold me to my word.

Also, I do not know if anyone has actually ever wondered this, but as it just occurred to me, I feel I must say it. In case anyone is actually wondering, I do read all the reviews and I do take everything everyone says to heart. I do listen to your advice and your wants and I try to incorporate them someway into the story (as long as it doesn't compromise the outline). And if you have any questions feel free to ask them and I will try and answer them, as I did last chapter with a description of Cole. I can not believe 22 chapters and not a single mention of his physical appearance!

Okay, enough of my drabble. Review!!


	24. Chapter 24

I was exhausted when we finally got home

I was exhausted when we finally got home. I could tell Cole was, too. Neither of us was in the mood for a talk, but I felt it was best to talk about it at some point. It was eventually going to become a topic of conversation for most of the people we talked to on a daily basis.

"We'll have to buy a bigger bed," is what Cole said to me when we got into bed tonight. He had gotten under to covers and closed his eyes, pretending to fall fast asleep, though I knew otherwise. His bullshit never went over well with me.

"You're not sleeping," I informed him, standing beside the bed and gazing down at his turned head. He didn't stir, however, when I said this. So now I am staring down at him, anger coursing through me. "I know you're not sleeping. Cole August Malfoy!" I hiss at him, shaking his shoulder. "You wake up right now."

"What?" he snaps, turning to me. "Roe, I was sleeping!"

"You were not," I snarl. "Do not avoid this conversation, Cole."

"Roe, honest to Merlin, I fell asleep!"

I narrow my eyes at him, but let it slide, nonetheless.

"We need to talk," I say. "About the baby."

Cole sits up and rubs his eyes wearily. "Do you want to wait until tomorrow morning, when I'm well rested?"

"No, Cole. We put it off today and I think we need to have this conversation right now. There are things that we both need to say to each other and decisions to be made. I want to get some things off of my chest."

"Okay. Get some things off your chest. Please feel free to start with your shirt." The corners of his mouth twitch in a smile.

I ignore him and sit down on the bed, facing him. He watches me intently, obviously interested (at least for the moment) to hear what I have to say. I clear my throat to speak, but realize I've made the big speech for nothing. I didn't really have anything planned.

"Right…erm, well, okay." I clear my throat again. "I want to reiterate—"

"That's a big word coming from you," Cole interjects.

"Don't butt in, Cole!" I snap and shake my head. "Anyways, insult aside, I want to repeat myself when I say that I love you and I do not blame you for what happened. It isn't your fault in the slightest."

He makes a noise of protest and I sigh heavily. What on Earth can I do to prove that I do not blame him, and that I am not angry for anything that has happened? Why does he insist on punishing himself?

"Cole! Why do you want me to be mad at you?" I snap.

"I don't!"

"Then why do you keep giving me puppy dog eyes?"

"Puppy dog eyes?" he cries. "What exactly are those?" I demonstrate for him and he looks a bit offended. "Please tell me that isn't what I've been doing!"

"It has!"

"Well I look mentally handicapped! I should be seeing a doctor if I'm giving you a look that resembles anything like that!"

"Can we please get back to—"

"Are you sure it doesn't look anything like this?" He gives me what I've come to known as his horny face.

"No, Cole. That's your horny face," I say.

"My what?" he cries.

"Your horny face!" I say. "That's how I know you're turned on…well, one of the ways. Your penis also tells me. Quite frequently, actually."

"Well, I've certainly never given you the look you've just demonstrated. And, in case you're wondering, if you ever give me that face again, I'll take you to a doctor. It looks like you're having a stroke!"

"Can we get back to our conversation?" I ask impatiently. "We should be talking about the baby and all we're talking about is you're stupid horny face."

"My horny face isn't that stupid," Cole says, wounded. "You've seen my horny face hundreds of times! If it was so stupid—"

"All right, fine!" I bellow. "I love your horny face. It is the reason for my being and without it I would be a dried up old hag." I cock my head to the side. "Happy?"

"Not particularly."

I collapse against the bed, completely drained of all my emotional and physical strength. Cole can be very draining when he gets in these types of mood. It usually occurs when he can smell a fight or a particular conversation he'd rather not have. He waits, quite patiently, for me to miss-speak, and then jumps all over it. He won't let anything drop until I'm so tired of his voice that I give in and refuse to speak or listen to him.

"I know what you're doing, and it isn't working," I inform him angrily. "We're going to talk about this if we have to stay up all night." I sit up again and Cole gives me a look before opening his mouth. I instantly put my hand over it. "No. Cole Malfoy if you say one more word before you're spoken to, I guarantee you that you and I will never have sex again. Am I being clear? We will have one conversation and that is about the joyous wonder of life inside of my freaking womb."

"Fine," he mumbles. His lips move against my hand and I take it away. "Fine. Sorry. Talk." He raises his eyebrows and waits for me to speak.

"Cole, I don't know any other way to say it, to get you to understand that I am not angry with you. You're intent was not to get me pregnant. It was bad timing and poor judgment, which we're all guilty of. Please do not worry about it anymore."

"It's just…" He breaks off and I see some color come to his cheeks.

"You can tell me, Cole."

"You're going to bring it up," he mumbles, his face turned away from me.

"Huh? What do you mean?"

Cole turns to look at me and his eyes are pleading. "Don't take this the wrong way," he says, "but I know you, and I think you know you. You can't honestly tell me that when you're eight months pregnant and you're feet are swollen and you're all bloated that you aren't going to blame me for it."

"I wo—"

"Yes, you will. I would blame you if you got me pregnant," Cole says.

"Love, we'd have a whole handful of other problems if I got you pregnant," I say, my lips quirking. He doesn't smile and I sigh. "Cole, don't worry about it. When I'm big, fat and bloated I'm probably going to be saying awful stuff. Who knows? Maybe I'll be a happy, content pregnant lady." He snorts and I glower over at him. "I will make a concentrated effort to not be mean to you or bring it up."

Cole's hand edges over to comforter to cover mine and I look up at him and my heart swells. I feel so much love for him at this one moment that I do not know if I could ever love him more than I do now.

"I love you," I say.

"You say that now," he replies.

"I'll always love you," I say, quirking an eyebrow, "no matter what I say later."

Cole pulls me into a hug and we fall back onto the bed to rest our heads on the pillows. I have to sit up and throw my hair up above my head, lest I lean on it, but then I turn into Cole and wrap a leg around him.

"I don't think we're ready to be parents," Cole says quietly some time later.

"No shit Sherlock," I reply. "We are not the slightest bit prepared for anything that is about to happen. We'll have to grow up, I guess."

"This sucks. Well, not the baby. The baby doesn't suck. He's going to be great!"

"How do you know it's a he?" I ask.

"A feeling I have," Cole replies.

I roll my eyes. "Oh, and what else is this feeling telling you?"

"Nothing much," he replies. "Just that I'm going to have a boy."

"And if you have a girl?" I ask.

"We'll just have to throw her out," he says.

"There better be a joking smile on your face," I say sleepily against his chest. "I hope we have a girl."

"No, the boy has to come first," Cole says.

"Why?"

"Because then it doesn't make sense!"

"It makes sense fine," I reply. "Elizabeth came first in my family."

"A fine example," he says.

"I thought you loved my family," I accuse.

"I do, it's just—I just want the boy to come first!"

"This isn't some sort of a macho thing, is it?" I ask critically. "Girl's are so much better! They love their daddies! I love my father!"

"Girls are fine. I want a gaggle of girls…as long as we have the boy first."

I sit up and look down at him. "A gaggle?"

"Listen, we have the boy who is kind of like the protector of the family."

"And what are you? The friendly neighbor?"

"Are you going to listen to me, or are you just going to mock me the entire time?" he snaps, glaring at me.

"Sorry," I mumble. "Go on."

"I was thinking about it today when we were walking around. I thought that it would be cool to have a boy first. I'm sure I would be happy if it were a girl, though."

He lays back down beside me, seemingly content with what he has said and closes his eyes. I wait for his breathing to settle before saying, "We'll have to name it."

"What?" he asks.

"We have to give the baby a name."

"Oh, crap!" Cole cries. "This is already a lot of work. Maybe we should let it choose its own name? I've always wanted to do that, you know, change my name."

"To what?"

"Well, when I was younger it was Horatio."

I begin to giggle wildly until I see that he is looking quite offended. No matter how much I try, though, I can not stop laughing. It isn't that absurd of me to laugh, either. He doesn't look like a Horatio. I run my hand through his dark hair, but he continues to pout.

"You should go back to blond," I comment.

"No, I like my dark hair," he protests.

When we were fifteen and in our Fifth Year, Peeves dropped ink balloons all over the library. Demi and I were sitting on the one side that didn't get affected, but Cole's whole table of friends got completely covered. The dark ink tainted the color of his hair and turned it from its usual white blond to a dark brown.

He told me that I apparently complimented him on it, so he keeps it dark and hasn't taken the potion to turn it back to blond. I'm sure it isn't only because of me. He must see how wonderfully it brings out his eyes.

"Well, what if we have a blond child?" I ask. "People will think I've strayed!"

"No they won't," Cole replies. He kisses my lips. "I promise."

"If you say so, Horatio," I reply. He pouts again. "I want to change my name, too!"

"To what?" he asks.

I think a moment. "Annie Princess Sparklebright."

He starts to laugh, but I act just as offended as he did to me and he quickly stops, giving me an appeasing look that I've come to like.

"Demi owled me while we were out," I say to him. "She got me an appointment at her Healer's office."

"For when?"

"Next Tuesday. Noon sharp."

"Well, have fun," Cole says.

"You're coming, too!" I snap.  
"I hate the doctors!" he complains.

"Cole!"

"Oh, alright, fine. I'll go because I am a big, strong, strapping man."

OoOoOo

As soon as we walked into the office Cole tensed. He glanced around at all the pregnant witches and turned quite green. Especially once he eyed some of moving diagrams making their way around the sitting room.

"I don't like it here," he whispers to me as I sit, chewing my nails.

"Don't worry, Cole."

"And you're sure we have to go?" Cole asks, twisting his hands nervously.

"Yes, Cole. This is a check-up. I want to know how the baby is doing." I sit back in my seat and relax, my legs jutting out across the carpet.

"They aren't going to ask us questions, are they?" Cole asks nervously.

"I would assume so," I reply dully. I reach across him to grab a magazine off the table next to him. "Oh, damn. I've already read this Witch Weekly."

"What kinds of questions?"

"Routine questions," I reply, eyeing an article about that new Quidditch player I hate. She always gives me attitude whenever I see her.

"Like?"

"My age, my medical history, how big your thing is—"

"What?" Cole cries. "Why would she want to know that?"

I turn to him seriously. "Well, because if it's too big, they'll have to trim it down."

"What?" Cole hisses, looking generally horrified.

"So you won't poke the baby in the head when we do it," I say, a small smile threatening to show on my face. I drop my eyes back down to Alicia DeWitt, and sure enough she rolls her eyes at me and flips her hair. _Yeah, keep flipping, bitch, _I think savagely as I turn to page.

"I want to go," Cole hisses in my ear. "I don't want them to trim down my—"

"I was kidding, Cole."

"Why do you always have to kid? You know I'm nervous! You know I didn't want to come to this in the first place. I don't want to watch someone else look at your private bits."

"You need to get over your fear of Healers," I say angrily. "They aren't bad people. They heal. It's in their name!"

"I don't trust them, that's all," he replies, folding his arms. "They always look at me with this weird look in their eyes."

"Like a wolf?"

"No, like…Oh, hello, sarcastic voice. Nice to see you've come to speak with me. Tell my so-called wife I enjoy her abandonment."

"Will do," I say.

"Roe?"

Cole jumps and I role my eyes as a Healer stands in front of the open door, a chart in her hand. She gives me a warm smile as Cole and I stand.

We follow her down a long hallway until we reach an exam room. It has a wall of herbs and different pre-brewed potions. They are all labeled in clear, precise handwriting.

I go to sit on the bed, but the Healer catches my arm and leads me to a scale. I glance back at Cole before stepping on. I can't remember if I'm ever truthful in my weight or not. It's no matter, though, as he is staring up at something on the ceiling with a horrified look on his face.

"If you could just step on…"

"Oh, yes, sorry."

I step onto the scale and hesitantly look at my weight. I am surprised and delighted to see that I haven't gained any weight at all! In fact, it seems I've lost some! This has to be the most kickass pregnancy ever.

"Hmm…"

"Mrs. Malfoy, do you remember your weight before you knew you were pregnant?"

"Um," I say, glancing back over my shoulder at Cole. "Add a three to that and that's what I weighed."

She gives me a perplexed look. "You've lost weight, then?" she asks.

"I guess so." I shrug.

"Alright…" she scratches her quill along the floating parchment and motions for me to lie down on the bed/table.

I get comfortable and give Cole a timid smile as the Healer begins to check me out. Cole doesn't return my smile, for he still looks highly uncomfortable.

"Have you been feeling any lightheadedness, or dizziness?" the Healer asks.

"Yes, both," I say.

"Hmm…"

She comes to stand next to me and feels along my neck, up to under my chin and then under my ears.

"Okay, lay back," she says and I do so. She lifts up my shirt and feels along my stomach. I stare up at the ceiling and am startled to see pictures of moving, pooping, puking babies above me. No wonder Cole looked so upset. "And you've been feeling nauseous?"

"Yes," I say.

She presses down hard on my stomach and I want to ask if that is safe for the baby, when she asks me the most peculiar question. "And you took a pregnancy test?"

I sit up.

"Yes. Three, actually."

"They all came back positive?"

"Yes."

"I'm going to have you take another one, alright? This is one is a little different. I'm going to stick this needle into your arm—" Cole whimpers from next to me. Despite the nervous feeling in my stomach from the Healer's strange actions, I turn to Cole and roll my eyes, before directing my attention back on the Healer. "We'll draw some blood and get a more definitive answer."

"I'm confused," I say. "Aren't I pregnant? I took three tests—"

"Were you close to the time when you would have had your period?" she asks me.

"I…I don't know…"

"Sometimes the hormones in a woman's body will trigger a false positive. The mass-company brewed tests do come back with wrong answers sometimes. That's why you come see us, so there is no concern of a false positive."

"A…false—"

"But, let's make sure. We don't want to make a mountain out of a molehill." She smiles, but it's a bit sad. I extend my shaking arm and turn to Cole, who looks just as confused as I do. I don't feel the prick of the needle, as my eyes are locked with Cole's.

Awful thoughts begin to run through my head, though I try to push them away. This can't be happening. In a minute she is going to tell me that I'm worrying over nothing, that she was wrong about what she said a minute ago. I didn't have a false positive.

"We'll just let this set. In the meantime, I'm going run some more tests," she says, eyeing the drying blood in the vile. "Better to be sure it's a negative before a baby pops out!"

When the door closes over I turn to Cole. I open my mouth to speak, but he beats me to it. "Don't worry yet."

"The odds are with us," I say.

"Right." He has a weird look on his face that I try to decipher.

We sit in silence until the door opens again and the Healer returns.

"Well, Mrs. Malfoy, I have good news and bad news."

"Okay," I reply. "Give me the bad news first." That way the good news will cheer me up.

She sighs heavily. "You aren't pregnant, but the good news is you've just gotten over a pretty nasty stomach bug."

I instantly feel cold. Goosebumps erupt along my arms and chest and even up my neck to my cheeks. Her news, this bad news, was not what I expected. I thought maybe it would be twins.

"Oh," is all I can say.

"But, she took three tests," Cole says. I jerk out of my thoughts to look at him. He's giving the Healer a hard, calculating look. He is trying to make sense of the situation.

The Healer sighs again. "High levels of stress can cause a change in the body's hormones," she says. "Were you under any kind of stress over the last two months?"

James.

"Yes," I reply. "My brother was staying with us. He's very annoying."

"Well…erm, that could be a cause. As I said before those home pregnancy tests are not always as accurate as we would like. It is very simple to incorrectly follow the directions and get a botched result. They are not a hundred percent." She sees my hopeful expression. "We are, though."

"So…she isn't pregnant?" Cole repeats.

"I'm afraid not," the Healer replies.

I turn to look at Cole and see the same look from a moment ago and finally realize what it is. Relief, warm, glorious relief is splayed across his face so baldly that I'm surprised I didn't see it right away.

"Well, thank you," I say, taking my eyes off Cole. "I'm sorry to have wasted your time."  
"Not a problem at all," she replies. "I do, however, have some booklets and charts on pregnancy for you to take home. Just in case you two decide to start a family in the coming months."

Cole snorts. "I don't think those will be necessary," he says.

"Just…I'll take them," I say reaching out to them. The glossy packets are warm to the touch and I turn to hand them to Cole. "Don't be so rude," I snap as I toss them into his lap, under his outstretched hand. I wish they were heavier, harder, so that when they thudded against him they really hurt him.

We walk down the warm London air in virtual silence. I have been lost in my thoughts and have no interest on cluing Cole in any time soon. Especially after we walked out of the hospital and he raised his arms in the air and shouted, "Thank you, Merlin, I'm free!"

"Are you mad at me?" he asks finally.

"Why would I be mad at you?" I ask coldly, stepping around a discarded soda cup that is just strewn across the ground, directly in front of a garbage bin.

"I don't know," Cole says. "You haven't said anything to me since we left the doctors office."

"I'm just thinking, Cole," I say furiously. "I just found out that there isn't a baby inside of me. Forgive me for trying to take a moment and digress."

"You should be relieved!" he says.

"What?" I ask, turning to him.

"Roe, come on! We so were not ready to be parents! We're just kids! Think of this as a blessing in disguise!" He eyes me. "We're only nineteen," he says. "Weren't you telling me just last month that you didn't even want kids?"

"Well, yes, but—"

"We would have fucked that child up so much."

"I guess."

He puts his arm around me and pulls me close to him.

"We'll have them eventually. Not now."

"Right." But I'm not comforted.

We walk in silence again.

We arrive home and Cole wants to have a celebratory drink. He pulls open all the cabinets and frowns to see we've got nothing alcoholic.

"This won't do," he says, shaking his head. "You can drink again. Let me go pick something up." He gives me a big smile and kisses me. "Merlin, I love you," he says. "Just give me fifteen minutes and I'll be back."

"Alright," I say. I give him a small smile, but it evaporates as soon as he leaves. I turn to gaze around at the empty space we're living in. My bottom lip begins to shake and I sit down, hard, on the kitchen chair. I place my face into my hands and let out a sob. It vibrates through my whole body again and again as tears spring forward. I have never cried like this, never felt pain like this in my entire life.

I sit at the table for maybe ten minutes. By the time I am able to compose myself I realize Cole will be returning soon. I slowly make my way into the bathroom and turn on the faucet. I hear the water hit the smooth, white porcelain as I stare at my reflection in the mirror. My skin is blotchy and my eyes are bloodshot. But nothing compares to what I am feeling on the inside.

I didn't think it was possible to mourn something that never was. There was never any baby inside my stomach. There was never anything in there at all. There was never a baby, yet I fell in love with it anyways. Fresh tears prick my eyes as I wash water over my face.

My mind told my body to prepare to be filled, to prepare for the weight of childbirth, a baby. And now, instead, I have to remind it to feel empty again. I feel cold and empty, a frail shell of what I was just three hours ago.

"Roe? I'm back!"

I wipe the last of my tears and glance in the mirror to see that I acceptable. I don't want Cole to know how I feel. I don't want to pressure him into thinking I want a baby now. We would have loved our happy mistake of a baby. But to actually plan for one at this time in our lives? Foolish!

I walk into the living room and Cole's face splits into a wide grin that I reluctantly return. I feel distant from him, though. We are not one, as always, but two different people. I am the one crying in the bathroom, shoulders shaking, body heaving, tears flowing. I am the one mourning a child that never was. I am the one feeling all the pain and devastation of realizing that you wanted something so badly you can't imagine life without it, only to have it taken away. And Cole is the one shouting in the streets. He is the one who dashes out to buy firewhiskey so I can drink again. He is the one who instantly forgets about the baby that never was.

And, just like that, as I sip my firewhiskey and listen to Cole talk about all the things we can do now that I am not pregnant, I see the line divide right through us.

I put on a brave face for the rest of the day as Cole insists on going for a walk, though I protest. He kisses my neck and then nuzzles it until I relent, desperate for some peace and quiet. I walk along the path near the tent, a fraction behind Cole. I look at the back of his head in wonder.

He has let his hair grow a bit longer. It must be long enough to almost pull into a pony tail, I assume. He runs his hand through it once, as though sensing my stare.

I wonder if our children will have his hair or mine…but have to stop thinking about it almost immediately. I know it had only been a week that I was under the pregnancy impression, but that was all it took. Actually, it only took seconds, really. As soon as I saw that false blue potion I knew I wanted the baby. And it's too hard to think that I won't be having it now.

After our walk we made dinner and then went to bed nice and early. Cole could sense the distance between us, but didn't address it. He tried to stroke my arm once or twice, but then I deliberately rolled over away from him.

And, for the first time in our marriage, we purposely slept with our backs to each other.

A/N. I know, I Know. A bit depressing. Don't worry, it gets better. Have faith in me, please.


	25. Chapter 25

_One month later. Kind of._

"Come on, Cole! We're going to be late!" I call as I hurry to grab my watch. I put it on and half turn to see the bathroom door is still shut. I sigh and walk to my mirror to pull my hair up into a pony tail. "Cole! What in the world are you doing in there?"

We are going to James and Alice's fake wedding today. This is for the family that was rudely not invited to the first wedding.

The door opens and Cole comes out looking a bit offended. He gestures to his shirt while brushing his teeth and giving me glaring stares.

"Hurry up," is all I say to him as I go back to the bedroom and glance at myself in the mirror one last time. I look nice, I believe. Slimming dress to show off the figure I am not going to lose, nice shoes that I can walk in because my ankles will not be bloated, etc. I am clearly trying to think of all the good things about not being pregnant. I did not want to loll around and be depressed for ages, so I cheered up.

And Cole was right. Having a baby right now would have been a nice change, but we aren't ready for one yet.

Along those lines, we also had to buy out of our lease on the house and give it to the new couple who had wanted it. Instead, we bought an even smaller house in the country. It has a nice cottagy feel that I fell in love with while Cole felt claustrophobic.

"I can't…" Cole attempts to say whilst gesturing at the ends of his shirt. "Will you?"

"Huh?" I ask, turning as I fumble to put an earring in. "What do you need?"

"This!" He waves his arm at me and I frown.

"What do you need?"

"I can't…"

"Fucking verbalize, Cole!" I shout.

"I can't think of the damn name, Roe!" he shoots back. "Fucking excuse me!"

We stare at each other for a moment and revel in what happens when passive aggressive behavior builds up in one's body for a while and then suddenly explodes.

We have sort of been fighting for the weeks. We had a big blow out last week when it all came out. It went a little like this:

"What is your problem with me?" Him.

"I want a baby now." Me.

"I don't." Him.

"And there's our problem," I said softly.

"I don't know why you're suddenly obsessed with having a baby."

"Because I fell in love with it."

"It wasn't even there!"

"It doesn't matter," I replied furiously. "I fell in love with the idea of having a baby. I want to have a baby with you now. If not now then sometime in the next coming months. I want you to promise me that we'll start trying for a baby."

Cole stared at me for a second. "Roe, be reasonable."

"I am being reasonable. This is what I want."

"Yeah, now."

"What?"

"This is what you want now. Last month it was no babies, this month it is babies, what is next month going to be like? I don't think you realize just how fickle you are, Roe. You flop from one idea to the other with such ease that I have to fight to keep up with it and I live with you everyday. One day you hate raspberries and then the next they're all you eat. Two months ago you wanted tattoos, this month you don't. What are you going to do in two months when you no longer want a baby and you're pregnant? That is something you can't just push away and pretend you've hated it all along."

"You're mocking me," I said softly. I looked at him with an absolutely defeated feeling in my stomach. "We're talking about something serious and you're mocking me."

"I'm being truthful."

"You never care about my feelings."

"Don't be stupid."

"I'm not stupid," I replied.

"Everything I do is about you. All I try to do in life is make you happy and sometimes I feel as though it isn't enough. I feel like no matter what I do you will find the one thing I did wrong and blow it up so everything I do right is completely forgotten."

"I do not!"

"Yes you do." He shifted uncomfortably. "I don't want to talk about this anymore."

"Well, I do."

"Fine. You want an example? How about the fact that I stepped up when you said you were pregnant. I bought you the house of your dreams even though it isn't anything like I wanted. I made arrangements with you. I rubbed your feet and held your hair as you puked. I comforted you when you had random bouts of terror. I was there for you. But Merlin forbid I feel a bit of relief, right? Merlin forbid I don't feel as bad as you do that we had a false positive pregnancy. In case you've forgotten, it wasn't a miscarriage. You weren't even pregnant to begin with."

"So I can't feel bad about it?"

"You can and you have. You've also been busy blaming me for the way you're feeling. I'm sorry that you want a baby so badly now…but I don't. The plain and simple truth is that I don't want kids now or in the near future. We had plans, Roe. We had things we wanted to do before babies. Do you really want to shelve those to have kids?"

"Yes," I said. "I don't want to wait forever."

"We won't wait forever," Cole said. "All I'm asking from you is five years."

"Five years?" I asked incredulously.

"Yes."

There is a beat of silence.

"I don't know if I can give you that."

Another beat of silence.

"Then what are we going to do?" Cole asks.

"I don't know."

Well, we didn't speak to each other for another day. I finally broke down after he slept on the couch and refused to acknowledge me.

"Are you going to mad at me for wanting a baby?" I had asked.

"Roe…can't you see reason?" he pleaded.

All it took was for me to look at his desperate face for me to cave in slightly. He looked so utterly defeated and deflated that I didn't think I could put him through much more.

"I love you, Roe. I'm not trying to hurt us. I want us to be together forever. That is why I want to wait before we have babies."

And, for the first time, I really heard him the way he wanted to be heard. For the first time I listened to his reasoning and it really resonated with me.

"Alright. I'm sorry." And we kissed and then made protected love and we made up.

And to tell the truth I felt rather…good about this decision. I still want a baby like nothing else in life…but I can wait. For Cole, who means more to me than anyone (even Demi), I can wait.

"Do you need help with your cufflinks?" I ask kindly.

"Yes, please," he replies.

"Come here."

He comes forward and I quickly stick the cufflink through the small hole and spin his sleeve around until it is straight. I then do it to the other one.

"Aren't you going to be hot?" I ask as I gaze at his outfit. "You know this is outside, right?"

Cole looks down critically. "I don't know what else to—"

"Hold on," I reply and walk over to our dressers. "Come here."

Cole comes forward and I pull out three of his shirt and eye them each critically while holding them up to his body. I finally throw two down and hold up the one in my hand.

"This one is much better."

"Are you sure?" he asks, eying it critically.

"Yes," I reply. "You'll look lovely in it."

"But, it's…"

"What?"

"Purple," he replies.

"So?"

He gives me a look. "It's purple," he says again.

"So what?"

"I don't wear purple."

"You have a purple shirt."

"That you bought for me," he reminds me. "Other than that…I don't wear purple."

"It will look lovely with your skin," I say.

"Stop saying lovely," Cole snaps, hesitantly taking the shirt from me. He looks at the one that fell on the floor and picks it up. "This one seems better."

"Fine," I reply. "Here." I take off his cufflinks, watch as he takes off his current shirt and then find myself gazing at his shoulders. I am so weirdly and indefinably obsessed with his shoulders. I love how they look and the small spattering of freckles he has on them. I love his shoulders almost as much as I love his butt.

Before I realize I'm doing it, I kiss his right shoulder and lean my head on it and then wrap him in an embrace. We stay like this for only seconds before I release him and kiss his shoulder again.

"What are you doing?" he asks curiously.

"I can't help myself," I reply in between kisses. I nuzzle his chest and then plant a kiss where my cheek was just seconds before. "I just love you."

Cole's hands come down to rest on my shoulders and I feel his cheek rest on the top of my head.

Merlin, I love this man.

OoOoOo

"What are you drinking?" Elizabeth asks me as she comes to sit next to me. Cole and I arrived at the party a while ago. He ducked into the house just a while ago for the bathroom.

"Butterbeer," I reply.

"Looks good," she responds.

"Yeah? Really good? Good enough to steal and shag behind my back?" I ask, a quirk to my lips. Elizabeth turns sharply, but when she sees that I am kidding her expression softens. I now joke about Michael's infidelity, just for shits and giggles.

"Oh, I need to be liquored up for that type of interaction," she says, adjusting the baby on her shoulder.

I am just thinking longingly of how nice it would be to have a baby in my womb when Violet suddenly comes to attention, focuses all her energy on me, and projectile vomits on me.

There I sat, stunned as can be as vomit dripped down my face and onto my lap. I had closed my eyes and mouth and I dare not open either one of them.

"Oh my goodness, Roe!" Elizabeth cries. "Don't move. Hold on!"

I hear the baby start to cry as I desperately wipe the foulness from my face. I expect Elizabeth to, I don't know, come back and help me wipe some of her daughter's gunk off of my face. All I hear from her is, "Oh, no, Violet, don't cry!"

I screech through a closed mouth.

"Okay, Roe! Hold on."

A warm cloth wipes away all of the vomit and when I open my eyes it is to see Elizabeth watching me carefully. Violet is now dozing in her lap as though nothing has happened, as though I have not just been scarred for life!

"Are you alright?" she asks.

"No, I am not alright!" I wail. "I have partly digested baby food in my hair! Aren't you going to do something?"

"Like what?" Elizabeth snaps. "Oh, yes, of course." She glances down at Violet. "Bad baby. Go to your room and don't come out until you can control your vomiting." She looks back up at me. "I think I'm much too hard on her."

I realize I can do one of two things. I can let it slide or I can start yelling at her for something I know she can not control. It is then that I am forcibly reminded of all the other times that we've fought.

Some fights we had were rather minor. We would shout at each other and leave it at that, but there were some rare fights which got rather violent.

In fact, one fight comes to mind. It happened when I was maybe thirteen. It was during the summer and I remember that Mum and Dad and James were home with us. We were fighting over something and the next thing I knew, she had pushed me. I pushed her back and then she pushed me again and I stumbled onto the coffee table. Then she started shouting and Mum and Dad and James came running into the room.

"What are you two doing?" Mum had shouted angrily.

"Shh!" James had snapped at her. He rushed forward and pushed the coffee table out from the middle of us. "Let's just see where this goes, eh?" He turned to me. "Aim for her bony knees, Roe!"

Well, when I leaped into the air so did Elizabeth. Dad caught us both, but our heads knocked together and Elizabeth's foot accidentally hit James in the face. The three of us started screaming in pain as Mum cried out in utter exhaustion and Dad completely freaked out. It was one of the only times he got really angry at us.

"Alright, everyone just shut the hell up!" he bellowed. He moved over to the couch and let Elizabeth roll out of his grip while still holding tight onto me. "Sit," he barked at me and sat me in a chair. "You two, stop fighting," he snapped, pointing at me and Elizabeth. "You," he snapped, pointing at James, "stop encouraging them. And you," he turned towards Mum, "come with me to get something to drink. Something strong."

I think of this now as Elizabeth gives me a slightly filthy look as though I would dare suggest she do something about the vomiting her daughter did just seconds previously.

"It's fine," I reply, running my hand through my hair and feeling wet vomit in it. "I'm just going to go wash my face."

I place my drink on the table and stand shakily. A drip of vomit rolls down my cheek and I fight the urge to grimace as I watch Elizabeth's critical face. I head into the house and then suddenly rush up the stairs and burst into the bathroom without knocking.

"Roe!"

"Oh, I am so—" I break off when I see it's Cole. "Oh, it's you." I shut the door over and head towards the sink and turn it on.

"Get out!" he snaps.

"The baby vomited on me!" I reply, scrubbing into my hair.

"I'm trying to pee!"

"Then pee," I reply indifferently.

"I can't with you standing there."

"I'm not listening," I say, soaping up my hands. "And I couldn't hear you if I was."

"You have boundary issues," he snaps.

"_You_ have boundary issues," I retort. "It isn't as though I've never met you before. You're my husband! If you can't pee in front of me who can you pee in front of?"

"I can't pee in front of anyone!"

"In the time that you've taken to cry about this you could have peed already!"

"You are so…" he trails off as I look away and continue to wash my face. A second later I hear him shift and then zip up his pants. The toilet flushes and then he hovers in back of me. I finish and turn off the faucet and then wipe my hands, face and hair.

We are at the door, with me rushing Cole out so we don't miss cake, when I say, "You aren't going to wash your hands?"

"You were just…" Cole snarls and then goes back to wash them.

"You don't wash your hands?"

"I do wash my hands," he snaps, "but you're pushing me out the door!"

"We can't miss cake!" I snap.

"God forbid you miss a meal," Cole snaps.

"You're being rude."

"You're being annoying!"

"Do you see this?" I cry, gesturing at my wet hair. "That was covered in baby vomit!"

"See why we shouldn't have babies?" Cole asks sarcastically.

"Yes, I do, actually," I say.

He gives me a weird look as we make our way back to the party that is just about to get cake. After I've had my third piece and Cole gives me a look as I reach for a fourth, everyone breaks off for the final dance.

It is then that Mum says, "Come say goodbye to your brother. He wants to leave." I turn and see that Mum has the baby in her hands.

"Alright," I stand.

"Oh, darling, what are you and Cole doing tomorrow?" Mum asks.

"I don't think anything. Why do you ask?"

"Would you do me and your father a giant favor?"

"Um…yes, sure," I say. There really is no polite way of saying no.

"Would you watch Violet for us?"

"What! Why? Where are her parents going to be?"

"Both Michael and Elizabeth have meetings in the morning. And your father has to be in work early and I promised your grandmother I would take her into London."

"Take the baby with you," I say.

"Roe, I can't take the baby out into the city!"

"She isn't a diamond ring that's going to get stolen, Mum."

"Listen," Mum leans in. "I promised Elizabeth before I knew that something was going to come up."

"What came up? Grandma would love to take Violet with you. Look, she's right over there, ask her—"

"Your father and I are going to be taking a line dancing class tomorrow," Mum snaps. "That is why I need you to take the baby."

I gape at her in horror. "What?"

She shifts Violet. "As you know our twenty-second anniversary is coming up in four days—" I know that now. I kind of forgot—" and, well, Dad owed me. It's perfect because everyone will think Dad's at work and I'm in London."  
"Why didn't you tell this to Elizabeth?"

"Because it isn't a very good or respectable excuse!"

"Well, Cole and I were going to be doing the same thing tomorrow."

Mum glowers at me and then fixes her attention down at Cole's head.

"Cole, dear," Mum says. Cole glances up.

"What are you doing?" I breathe. "Don't you dare—"

"Would you and Roe be a dear and watch your niece tomorrow? I promised Elizabeth, but I didn't realize that Harry was going into meetings all day tomorrow or that I was taking my mother to an appointment in London."

I am about to say that we can't, when Cole blurts out, "That would be lovely."

I whirl around in surprise. "It would?" I ask.

"Yes. Sure." He smiles at my mother and then at the baby.

"Great!" She beams at him. "Well, why don't you take her while we say goodbye to James?"

"Oh, er…" Cole awkwardly accepts Violet as though she were a porcelain bomb. She seems absolutely tiny compared to him. She nearly fits completely in his two hands put together.

"Come now, Roe." Mum takes my arm and leads me down the yard. "You don't know how much this means to me, Roe. Your father and I do appreciate this—"

"Stop saying that!" I say. "Let's just pretend this isn't happening."

"Right. Okay. Oh, and don't tell Elizabeth."

"Why?"

"Well…dear, erm…She didn't think you were the best babysitter."

"She what?" I cry, stopping. "Why not?"

"I don't know," Mum replies, pulling me forward. "Something about vomit? Does that make any sense?"

"No."

We get to the front of the house, near the front of the tent where everyone's dancing and I see James and Alice laughing with Elizabeth and Michael. As James sees me coming he breaks away from them and comes to stand in front of me and Mum.

"Before I go let's just have a dance together," James says. He grabs my hand and leads me out onto the dance floor, despite my protests.

"I'm really not in the mood James," I reply a bit sulkily.

"Well, I wanted to say something to you." He twirls me around and we awkwardly bump into one another again. "I want to thank you."

"For what?" I ask.

"For your advice."

"What advice?"

"Your Alice advice," he says, a quirk to his lips. "I listened to what you said and everything worked out just the way you said it would." He smiles at me. "So, thank you."

"Oh," is all I say.

"And you were also right."

"Right?"

"When you love someone you don't let anything get in the way of that. You put aside all your apprehensions and all you're selfishness because you know it's worth it in the end." He turns to look at Alice who is holding her stomach and talking with her mother. "And believe me, it was worth it. I wouldn't change anything. It's all perfect now." He gives me another look. "Because of you."

"James…I can't take credit—"

"You're the only one I ever talked to about it." He smiles. "I trusted your advice and look where I ended up. Thank you. Cole's pretty lucky to have you."

"James?" Alice is suddenly at his side and touches his shoulder gently. "We should go. We want to be there by midnight or then we'll miss an entire—"

"I'm coming." He steps back from me, pauses, then gives me a giant hug. I accept it without protest and then one from Alice. And then the two of them leave on their second honeymoon.

I convince Cole to leave shortly after that. Once the bride and groom were gone there wasn't much else to do except sit and stare at the other couples dancing. The hardest thing I had to do was pull Cole away from the baby. He kept rocking her back and forth until I got dizzy just looking at him.

"Cole, we should probably get going," I say. "We'll have a pretty long day tomorrow."

"Okay," he says, not moving.

"Cole."

"Uh-huh."

"Darling," I place a hand on his shoulder and he turns to look at me. "We'll have all day tomorrow."

"Right." He carefully adjusts her and stands. "Where's Elizabeth?"

We find my darling older sister and hand her the baby.

"Goodbye," I reply to both Elizabeth and Michael. I kiss Elizabeth, but both Cole, Michael and I keep our respectful distances. It is more for Cole's sake than my sake. I have finally come to peace with Michael. Cole, though, will never come to peace with Michael.

OoOoOo

The next morning comes much too abruptly. It seemed only seconds previous to being woken up that Cole I were getting into bed and then laying awake for a bit to talk before falling fast asleep.

But, when I do wake up in the morning, it is to my mother hovering over our bed, baby in hand.

"Roe, dear, I don't mean to barge in—"

"Mum!" I hiss, leaping from bed. "What are you doing here?" I turn back to check that Cole is properly covered.

"I'm dropping Violet off," Mum replies. "And before you even say it, I know I shouldn't have just walked in, but you weren't answering when I flooed or when I was knocking!"

"It's eight in the morning, Mum," I say.

"I know, dear," she replies. "And I'm sorry, but…"

"It's alright," I reply. "Let me have Violet."

"And, again, thank you, Roe."

"Mum, it's alright."

She kisses my head.

I didn't tell my parents or siblings that we thought were pregnant. We honestly didn't have much time before we found out we weren't.

"Have a good day. If you need us here is the card to the dance hall. We should be back home around three."

"Did you tell Dad that I knew you guys were going dancing?" I ask curiously.

"No. And don't you dare ever mention this."

"This wasn't his idea, I take it?"

"No. This was my present to me from him, though it was from me. He just paid for it and signed the card."

"But, Mum…line dancing? Really?"

"Well, it's all types of dancing, really."

"Like what?"

"I don't know, just all types," Mum snaps.

"I can't believe Dad agreed to this."

"Yes, well, when you love someone it doesn't matter. This is no different than the time I went camping with him in those awful mountains for a weekend! No magic, we didn't even bring our wands!" She looks furious just thinking about it. "Anyways," she brightens and kisses me and then the baby. "Goodbye, love. Here's her bag, Roe. And the instructions are in there for feeding."

"Thanks. Have fun, Mum."

"I will."

"Say bye, Violet," I say, though she is dozing on my chest.

OoOoOo

The rest of the day goes by in relative calm. Violet does cry quite a bit and gave me one hell of a headache, but that was to be expected. The only thing of mention would probably have to be what happened when it was time for Violet's feeding.

"Alright…" I said to myself as Cole walked Violet around the small interior as she cooed and sometimes made fussy noises. "Where are the bottles?"

There were no bottles. Instead what Elizabeth had left for my mother to feed Violet with, what I was supposed to feed Violet with, was a pair of boobs. It looked like they were attached to a bra, only instead of cups there were boobs. They had nipples and everything.

"Hey, Cole," I call. "Do you want to feed Violet?"

"Sure," he replies.

"Promise?" I ask.

"Yup."

"Here you go." I walk over to him.

"Where's the bottle?"

"Right here." I hold up the boobs.

"What are those?"

"Fake boobs that hold milk," I say. I smirk at them. "Here you go."

"Roe…You can't expect me to—"

"Oh, but I do," I say, smirking still. "Put them on."

"Roe!"

"Don't be embarrassed, Cole!"

"Then you do it," he retorts.

"You promised."

We have a no-blink stand-off for a moment before he snatches the boobs, hands the baby over to me and stares at the bra with boobies.

"This is absolutely…" he hisses to himself as he shoves his arms through the holes. "It doesn't fit properly," he complains.

"Wait," I say. I place Violet in her cradle and walk around Cole to hook the bra links. I then walk around to the front of him. I immediately burst into uncontrollable giggles. "Oh, Cole!" I cry.

"Stop it. Just…hand me the baby."

"Wait." I dash into the kitchen and root around in the cabinets and drawers. I finally find what I'm looking for and rush back to him. "Smile." He glances up in horror just as I snap the perfect picture of him. The Polaroid quickly develops as Cole gives me a disbelieving glare.

"Don't you dare show that to anyone."

"Oh, I won't," I say, smirking. "Every once in a while when you're being cross with me I'll just take this out and it will make me feel so much better."

"You know, if you had to wear a…a…a fake penis, or something, I wouldn't make fun of you!"

"A fake penis?" I repeat. "Well, no you wouldn't make fun of me. That would just be a reflection on you."

"How so?"

"It just means you like it up the butt," I say.

"Okay, okay." Cole seems visibly disturbed by this conversation. "This is not a conversation we should even be having, let alone anywhere near the baby. Poor thing is going to be scarred." He glares at me.

"You know, it's hard to feel bad or nervous when you're mad at me when you've got these big giant boobs hanging from your chest."

"I could say the same thing," Cole retorts and picks up Violet to go sit on the couch as I say, "Aw, you think my boobs are huge?"

But, as Cole sits there and nurses Violet, I start to feel differently. Though it still looks absolutely hilarious and a bit odd, I find my heart giving an unknown tug. There is a coil in the pit of my stomach that springs to attention at the sight of him like this. The fact that he would do anything for a baby, let alone someone else's baby—his arch nemesis's baby, says something about the deep down inside of Cole, doesn't it? Isn't this entire situation telling me that I have found quite possibly the best man I will ever meet?

When Cole finishes he places her back in the cradle and immediately rips off the boobs and hands them to me.

"We never speak of this," he says and looks down in the cradle. I quickly agree and watch Cole, who is in turn watching Violet.

"What is she doing?" I ask him, hovering over the cradle.

"Sleeping," he replies.

"Good," I say softly, tugging his arm. "Let's leave her alone. I don't want to wake her again."

Cole hesitates before leaving the side of the cradle to follow me into our bedroom area. I plop down on the bed and hold my pounding head in my hands.

"You were right," I say.

"Huh?" Cole asks.

"We aren't ready for a baby," I reply. "After just one day with Violet I don't think I'll be wanting children in the near future." I sigh happily thinking of all the quiet nights we'll be having.

Cole comes to sit next to where I'm laying. I then begin to elaborate on all the things Elizabeth and Michael will have to do with a baby that we won't.

"She'll have to breastfeed," I say. "I saw her doing it the other day and it looked like it really hurt her. Oh, and they are up almost every single night until at least four or five in the morning just waiting for Violet to fall asleep, only to be woken an hour later."

I go on for another fifteen minutes before I slowly realize that Cole has stayed silent this entire time. I turn towards him and I see that he's staring straight ahead at the cradle in the other room. I slowly sit up.

"What's that face?" I ask.

"Huh?" He suddenly snaps to attention. "I'm sorry. What?"

"What is that look on your face?" I ask.

"What look?"

"The look you get whenever I mention a baby," I snap.

"I don't know what you—"

"Violet. See! That look!"

"I can't see my face, Roe! I have no idea what you think I look like."

"Like you want something," I snap, getting onto my knees and placing a hand on my hip. I raise an eyebrow at him. "I thought you weren't ready for babies. I thought you wanted to wait for five years. I thought you had a five year plan before babies."

"I don't want babies and I still have a plan…" he trails off and I see his eyes dart back to the cradle. "It's just…"

"What?" I ask.

"I don't know now!" he says.

We stare at each other in silence again.

I am about to say something to him when my parents pop in, without knocking, and scare the living crap out of Cole and I.

"How was everything?" Mum asks.

"Fine." I hurry to the baby and hand her to my mother. "Oh, and Mum…Why don't you let Dad do the feeding tonight before Elizabeth picks Violet up."

"Why?"

"Trust me."

As soon as Mum and Dad leave I round on Cole to see him hesitantly leaning on the pole just before he would step into the living room.

"Okay, talk to me," I say softly and take his arm and lead him back towards the bed. He sinks down onto it first and I stand in front of him.

"Are we right to wait?" he asks. "I know it might seem like—"

"Do you want a baby now?" I interrupt.

"I don't know." Cole sighs. "I think so. I just…I don't know."

"Be sure."

A fluttery, nervous feeling was swirling around in my stomach. I had no idea if I was excited or nervous or what.

"I think maybe now I do want a baby."

"Maybe?"

Cole is silent and I don't press him to speak. I know he is thinking harder than he's ever thought before.

"I think maybe we should try for a baby. I've been thinking about it for a while. Right after our fight I felt…weird. As though I had spoken wrong, too quick, maybe."

"I understand. We don't have to jump into anything. I want a baby, Cole, but I want you more."

"Let's try."

"So…we're trying?" I ask.

"I guess," Cole says.

"Okay then." I sit back into the pillows and begin to chew on my thumb nail. After a second I feel Cole's gaze on me. "Right now?" I ask after I turned to see his hopeful expression.

"You don't want to right now?" he says.

"I mean…" I struggle for the words. "I don't know now!"

"Now you don't know?" he snaps.

"I don't know!"

"Well, I don't know either!" he replies.

"Great! So neither of us knows and we have a really big decision to make!"

"Let's try once," Cole says. "Just once, no pressure. It hardly ever happens on the first try."

I think of this. It seems reasonable. I think of the time Mum told me it took her and Dad five months to conceive me. Maybe in five months time the two of us will have a definite answer.

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Okay."

"Okay."

We sit in silence. It is a bit tense.

"You should probably kiss me," I say to him.

"Right." He bends over to kiss me, but it isn't really romantic. It feels a bit forced.

"This isn't right."

"No, no it isn't," Cole says with a sigh. "I think we're putting way too much pressure on this."

"Yes. I think so, too."

"Okay, how about this? We just shag first, with protection and then when we do it for the second time we don't have any protection."

"What if we get too tired after the first time?"

"When do we ever?"

"What if I try out something new tonight and it makes you sleepy?"

"When have you ever done that?"

"Maybe I was going to do it tonight."

"Wouldn't you know if you were going to do something?"

"Maybe I just decided."

"Why would you do that if we're trying to have a baby?"

"Because you know how I get," I reply.

"This is so stupid," Cole informs me. "Fine. We don't try tonight."

"Okay."

There is silence.

"Foreplay!" I say suddenly.

"What about it?" Cole asks.

"We'll do foreplay. You go down on me, I go down on you."

"Okay, but last time I checked that doesn't make a baby. If it does we'd have about a million kids." Cole has a bit of an oral fixation.

"But it'll get us in the mood."

"True."  
"And then from there we can see where it leads us. There won't be any pressure once we've had our first go."

"Who goes first?"

"You," I reply.

"Why me?"

"Why not you?" I snap.

"Okay, okay," Cole says.

We undress and then I begin to kiss Cole as gently and kindly as I can despite the nagging voice in the back of my head that keeps bugging me about what we're supposed to do. It is the same voice that nagged me the entire time I lost my virginity and made me constantly lose my concentration.

I turn Cole's head to the side and, judging by the tighter grip on my hips, I know he can tell exactly where I'm about to start kissing. I'm sure I already mentioned this spot, but I'm sure I didn't really say how sensitive it was. In fact, one time after we had a rather nasty fight that made us late for a lunch date with Demi and Frank, I used it against him.

Demi and Frank were talking to us, as they could tell we were angry with each other and were trying to fill the silences, when Demi said something about my hair and Cole made a rather awful comment (he apologized for it later). I turned to him angrily, zoned in on that little spot and instantly attacked it with my lips, all the while Demi and Frank took little or no notice of this. Cole, however, instantly tensed up and tried to push me off of him, but, like a psychopath, I managed to keep my lips onto his neck until I did the unthinkable.

I stopped kissing there after a second, but I could tell I had done just enough damage…for the time being. I waited until Demi and Frank got up from the table to go pay the bill before I started kissing the same spot on Cole's neck.

He said, "Roe, I mean it. Sto—" I could hear the strain in his voice and the almost desperation lingering somewhere in the back of his tone, and I took no notice of it. I continued kissing his neck and then, just before Demi and Frank came back, I placed my hand in his lap and it was all over. He groaned and gripped onto my hand tightly and I knew I had done wrong. It was a while before he forgave me.

So I kiss there for a while before making my way further south. The entire time I just try to think, not of a baby, or of baby vomit, but of how happy it could potentially make us. And then, because I wasn't really paying attention to Cole, I snap back to attention on that.

I don't mind doing this to Cole because he is always so appreciative and thankful that he never makes me feel as though I have to do this. And I love the way he looks at me before, during and after, and the noises he makes. They drive me absolutely wild.

When it is finally my turn I am, as always, nearly dizzy with excitement. This used to be the most dreaded part of sex for me, but slowly became my second favorite thing about it.

As Cole finally settles in between my thighs and my head falls back, preparing for what is about to come, I think back to the first time he ever did this to me. He admitted he had never done it before shortly before he actually did it. That made me feel slightly better. At least he would never know if something weird happened while he was down there. He would think it was the norm.

I had finally worked up the courage to let him do it. The first time he tried had been rather embarrassing. We were kissing and fooling around and his kisses had gotten lower and lower and when I finally realized just what he was intending on doing, I completely freaked.

"Cole!" I had cried, but I don't think he heard my horrified tone. So I kicked him in the face. I didn't realize I could have broken something on his face, but it wouldn't have mattered either way. The only thing I cared about was keeping his face away from where I never wanted him to see.

After that we were both too embarrassed for him to try that again. It wasn't until he finally worked up enough courage to try and enough patience to keep me calm while he did it, that he actually did it.

The second time he tried to do it was the first time it actually happened for me. I don't know if the thought ever crossed Michael's head, but it certainly had crossed through my mind at least once or twice. I never pictured a specific head down there, just what it would feel like.

"Don't kick me," Cole had said as he finally got my knickers off and awkwardly placed them down next to me. I didn't answer, frankly, because I wasn't listening. My eyes were clenched shut in embarrassment and my head was tilted towards the ceiling. A part of me couldn't believe I had actually allowed it to get this far. We had done so many things together and were officially in love and dating and whatnot, but I could not get over the embarrassment of being in this position. I wanted to either cover up or have Cole close his eyes the entire time.

"Are you okay?" he had asked.

"Mmhmm," I hummed, not opening my eyes.

"Okay. Here it goes." I did open my eyes when I heard the nervous tinge in his voice.

"Are _you_ okay?" I asked.

"Me? Oh, yeah. I'm fine." He swallowed. "I've never done this before."

"What?" I slammed my thighs closed. "You've…never…"

"Is that a problem?"

"No," I said, feeling better. "Nope." I sighed. "This isn't going to hurt, is it?"

"Um…no," Cole replied.

"Okay."

I could tell he was just as nervous about this as I was. He pulled my thighs apart and I felt the blush return to my cheeks. I let out a shaky breath when he actually started.

I don't know what I expected: fireworks, alarms, bells, sirens to go off…something. At first I felt nothing. It was the weirdest feeling in the entire world.

There I was, flat on my back, staring up at my ceiling as Cole fumbled around. It was a rather awkward situation.

When I didn't make any noises Cole asked, "Am I doing alright? How does it feel?"

I thought of what I would have wanted to hear when I did the same thing to Cole and I replied, "Bloody fantastic." I didn't mention that it was bloody fucking weird and I would probably pass next time he offered. Well, I would have if he didn't happen to accidentally brush against a certain spot.

I was just about to fake an orgasm when he accidentally brushed against that tiny, fantastic little nerve I have. I let out a shout and my head shot up to stare down at him. He looked up at me in excitement before lowering his head back to that spot again.

Soon it went from being the weirdest, most awkward thing I had ever done, to being the most fantastic. I soon no longer cared that I was flailing around or grunting or swearing or just making weird sounds. It didn't matter if I felt foolish because it felt too good to care.

After that little incident I was still a bit too embarrassed to ask for him to do that again, but luckily he seemed to want to do it enough that I never had to ask.

Now, in between sighs and little moans I turn my head to the side and happen to glance over at the clock. I frown as I see the time and try, despite other thoughts clouding my mind, to think of when we started this. I know I couldn't have been doing him longer than ten minutes.

I pick up my head to glance down at his head before I drop my head again. Is it rude to interrupt him when he's concentrating?

If that clock is correct and my memory is correct, then he's been down there for about twenty minutes. Normally, I wouldn't complain, but tonight I think he may be stalling.

I lick my lips and try to speak. Generally and usually when he does this I just lay or sit or, in rare cases, stand completely still and nearly lifeless.

"Cole," I say. He either doesn't hear me or thinks that I'm simply saying his name, so I say it again. "Cole." Again there is nothing. "Cole!"

My louder tone is what he seems to take as encouragement for he continues a bit faster and I am momentarily paralyzed. I fall back against the pillows before remembering that I was going to scold him. Of all nights to go so slowly and so deliberately…

I lose my concentration again and it takes another minute before I get enough strength to tug on his hair. But yet again, he doesn't think this is anything but encouragement and continues on.

"Cole!" I snap and give his hair and almighty yank.

"Ouch!" he cries, holding onto the spot I had just pulled. "Was I hurting you?"

"No, it isn't that," I say.

"Oh…er, did you finish already?"

"Already?" I snap. "You've been down there for at least twenty minutes. You were stalling!"

"Oh for the love of Merlin, I was not," he replies. "Excuse me for trying to make it last to give you to most pleasure poss—Alright, a bit." He cracks under my look. "I've just been thinking."

"Just now?"

"Yes."

"Congratulations on the weirdest use of multi-tasking," I snap.

"We'd be okay, wouldn't we?"

I sit up, pulling myself out from under his arms. As comfortable as I am with him now, it isn't the ideal position to be having important conversations. Plus, I'd always think that we made our final decision to have our first child with my vagina shoved in his face.

"I think we would be okay," I reply. "I think if I love you as much as I love you and I love the baby as much as people say I'd love the baby, then…I think we'd be fine." I look at him. "Unless you don't think we'd be fine."

"If you think we'll be fine then I think we'll be fine," he replies.

We simply stare at each other for a second before he pulls on my legs and drags me down to the edge of the bed where he was kneeling.

"If you'll excuse me, I was right in the middle of something," he says, kissing at my naval.

"Right, right. By all means con—" I break off with a breathy sigh and close my eyes. This time he doesn't seem to stall and instantly zones in on the one place that has me suddenly twisting and shouting and basically going absolutely batty whilst he pins down my hips with his hands.

As soon as it is over and as soon as I realize that I've come out of my semi-coma, I clench firmly onto his shoulders, his lovely, lovely shoulders and pull him up to lay on top of me. The glorious feeling of his weight always comforts me. Even when I'm angry at him all I want to do all the time is have him lay on top of me.

"Okay, are you ready?" I ask breathlessly.

There is a pause and then, "Yes."

And so, we purposely shagged without protection for the first time. It didn't feel much different and it did take a bit longer than it usually did, which I think was due to both of us knowing this could potentially make a baby.

But when it was over, I looked at Cole and I felt so much undeniable love for him that I knew it really didn't matter, it couldn't matter. Baby or no baby, I had him and he was really all I needed.

"I love you," I say to him.

"And I love you."

"If we decide not to have babies…" I begin cautiously. He picks up his head to look at me curiously. "I just want you to know that I'll still be happy with you."

"Thank you," he says.

"Oh, no, thank you," I reply, sliding to lay next to him. "I'm absolutely exhausted."

"Well, maybe we should talk about this, I mean—"

"Shh," I whisper, placing a finger over his lips as my eyes droop shut. "No speaky," I mumble sleepily. "Just…"

OoOoOo

Cole and I work up the courage to make love without protection four times that month. By the beginning of August we were doing it at least twice a week. And then, one blissful day, I woke up, made breakfast for both Cole and I, and promptly ran into the bathroom to puke.

A/N I am trying to find the delicate balance where Roe/Cole married life can still seem rather real and life-like, but also to remain funny. I hope I'm not doing a shitty job.


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N alert: I am going to be doing a series of flashbacks for the rest of the story. It is Roe's actual thoughts from whatever time it is in her flashback. I hope this isn't too confusing. They center on Roe and Cole's relationship prior to chapter one, and Roe's relationship with her family prior to chapter 1. I want as much back story into this before I finish it. I hope no one minds. :) This chapter is mostly Roe and Cole's relationship.**

_I'm walking down the hall on my way to Potions when he calls out my name. I had to make a quick bathroom break before class and told Demi I'd meet her in class. _

_He calls my name again. By the time his voice reaches my ears I am blushing. My hands clench on the books in my hands and clutch it to my chest further. How is it that all he has to do is say my name before I am hot all over? How is it all it takes from him is one look and I'm suddenly more horny than I've ever been in my entire life? How is it all I want to do is very naughty things to him, yet I can barely work up the courage to even speak to him, let alone spit out nasty retorts? As of late they've been coming out very, very lame._

"_Hey! Wait up!" he cries. "You walk fast for such a small person."_

"_What do you want?" I ask, quickening my pace. Did he just compliment me? "I don't have time to talk. I'm going to be late to class."_

"_So we'll be late together." _

"_As comforting as that is, no thanks," I say, rounding the corner. Oh, Merlin I would love to be late with him. I would love to skip class with him and go up to my room (or his room, it really doesn't matter) and slowly undress each other as—_

"_You've got quite the attitude for a girl whose skirt is tucked into her knickers."_

_I let out a yelp and drop my books, my hands going to the back of my skirt where I see that he's right. I blush even deeper as I yank it out and right my skirt again._

"_You let me walk down the hall like that?" I snarl at him, avoiding his eye as I pick up my books and my bag. _

"_I couldn't resist," he says and then smirks at me. _

_I start up again. I guess it's true when people say you can't die of embarrassment, because I should surely be dead by now, what with Cole Malfoy seeing my knickers and all. And they weren't even nice knickers! They were the stupid, plain white ones. Granny panties, as Demi calls them. If I could go back in time I'd put on nice, silk ones…A thong maybe…Wait…wouldn't that have been worse?_

_What the bloody hell am I saying? I need to get away from him. _

"_You're an arse," I snap as we get down to the dungeons. _

"_Quite possibly," he says, "but can you blame me?"_

"_Yes, and I will!" _

"_Okay, okay…I'm sorry. Alright? I'm sorry." My anger falters as I see that he is telling the truth, he is sorry._

_I don't say anything; I simply sniff indignantly at him as the final bell rings. I slide into my stool just as Professor Slughorn turns around to begin class._

"_Did you have to run?" _

"_Huh?" I ask, turning to Demi._

"_Did you have to run?" she repeats._

"_No, why?"_

"_You're red and sweaty."_

"_I'm sweaty?" I ask in horror. I wonder if Cole noticed…?_

_No! Who cares if Cole saw you? You don't like him! You do not like Cole Malfoy._

_No, I'm in love with Cole Malfoy._

_Shit._

"_Okay…" Demi says as we begin the lesson. "Go grab the bottle that looks exactly like this bottle and take out three squiggly things."_

_I roll my eyes at the way Demi is speaking to me, but slide of the stool to fetch them for her anyways. I am at the cabinet when he comes and stands next to me again. I try and fight the urge to turn around. All my self control is going into taking three green squiggly things from the foggy bottle. _

"_Do you need help?"_

"_No," I snap, holding my breath as I search for the bottle._

"_What are you looking for?" I am silent. "Maybe I can help."_

"_No thank you," I say calmly. "I've got it under control."_

_Our hands touch as we both reach for the tall bottle in the back of the shelf. It is like a jolt of electricity shot from my fingertips all the way down to my knickers. For the briefest of seconds I think of snatching it back, but his skin is so smooth and gentle that my hand stays exactly where it is. _

_I suck in a deep breath and look up at him, seeing him look down at me with what I can only assume was an identical expression. _

"_Roe…" he says._

"_Hey! Roe! Hurry up!" Demi snaps. I instantly feel her presence to my left and we snatch our hands away from each other. She glowers at Cole as I shake three green squiggly things into her hand. "Hurry up. Malfoy." She acknowledges Cole as though he were a piece of chewed gum on the bottom of her shoe after she stepped in dog poo._

"_Lupin," he replies, his voice sounds as though it contains a smirk, which I also think Demi figured, for she left in a huff. I can't tell. I've buried my head in the cupboard to hide my blush. "She's like a harpy."_

"_Hey!" I say, coming out and defending Demi. It's a knee-jerk reaction. "She's just moody."_

"_Harpies are moody, too."_

"_So are girls on their periods." I smile as he cringes._

_I am begin walk away back to my seat when Cole says, "Just for the record, you have very nice knickers." I pause and, with my back to Cole, close my eyes in embarrassment, before continuing back to my seat. _

_As I sit down Demi says, "What were you and Malfoy doing up there?"_

"_Just…talking," I answer honestly. Bordering on flirting, but still only talking. _

"_Oh. Talking," she replies. _

_Her tone causes me to turn to her and watch her carefully. I can not decide if she means it just as she said, Oh, talking, or if she meant it in a sarcastic, suggestive way. _

"_Yes," I say._

"_Hand me that oily stuff," she goes on. "Thank you." She never takes her eyes off the potion and she doesn't mention Cole for the rest of class. _

_I am sitting in my seat waiting for the bell to ring when I resort to my all time favorite hobby: staring at Cole. I couldn't help it at first. My eyes immediately snapped to where he sat. Maybe one day I could work up the courage to say something that wasn't awful when he says something nice to me. Maybe someday I could make myself want better. But, for now, I shall simply stare at him longingly._

"_You're drooling," Demi snaps. "What are you thinking of?"_

"_Something sweet," I half whisper._

OoOoOo

**Month One.**

"It's positive," I say to Cole.

"Let me see it." I hand it to him and he stares down at it, a frown on his features. He turns his eyes up to me and I see he is thinking.

"But last time it was a bust, so I'll make an appointment with a Mediwitch."

"Okay. Good." He places the little vial back on the bathroom sink and lets out a deep breath. "Okay, then. I'm hungry. Do you want something?"

"Um, no, but Cole—"

"How about some chicken?"

"No!" I snap, the mere thought of a chicken causing my stomach to churn. If I had my way then chickens would disappear off the face of the earth. "Let's talk about this," I say.

"Oh. Alright." Cole hesitates. "Let's talk."

"This is scary."

"Yes it is."

"But we're okay, right?"

"We're okay," he confirms.

I smile widely at him and he timidly returns my smile. I go to him and rest my cheek against his chest. And, like always, his arms wrap around me and he drops a kiss on my head. I smile into his chest, feeling as though I may just burst from excitement.

"Let me take another test," I say, breaking away from his embrace after a second. "I want to make sure. Because this time I know there is no stomach flu going around!"

I prance back into the bathroom, Cole close behind me. He still seems rather odd about the entire thing, but I do not question it. He has told me repeatedly that this is what he wants. Granted, most of the time he just happened to be inside of me when I was asking, but still. His words still counted.

I push Cole out of the bathroom so I can pee in peace. I dump my urine into the little vile with the waiting potion. I suck in my breath and exhale excitedly when it instantly turns a bright, vibrant blue.

I open the door again.

"Two out of two," I say, twisting my hands a bit. "I think we may be pregnant. I feel as though we're pregnant."

"I'm just…waiting," Cole responds.

"For what?"

"The official answer." He stuffs his hands in his pocket. "I don't want to get our hopes up again, that's all."

"Well, we'll go tomorrow and see for sure. It's going to be a positive, Cole. I can really feel it this time."

OoOoOo

**Month Four.**

"Huh," I say.

"What?" Cole asks, poking his head around the corner. He is standing in the adjacent bathroom from our new bedroom.

Let me just say how much I am in love with this house. It has three bedrooms, three bathrooms, a living room, a dining room, an office, a porch and kitchen…and that's it. It is so cozy and homey that I hate to leave it even for a couple of minutes.

Cole and I chose the biggest bedroom for our room. It is upstairs along with the other two bedrooms and one bathroom. It was certainly one of the reasons why I wanted this house.

In the soft light from our two lamps the room just has such a romantic feeling that I am always at ease, especially when Cole is close by.

"What?" Cole repeats. He is standing in the door way looking at me curiously.

"I can't zip my pants!" I say in a horrified tone. "They won't…zip!" I grunt.

"Let me see." Cole comes to me and takes a hold of the zipper. With strength I certainly don't have, he manages to pull the zipper up as far as it would go and then, with a grunt of his own, pulled the button through the small hole.

I instantly couldn't breathe, but I didn't want Cole to think his efforts had gone wasted. I gave him a tense smile and tried to waddle towards me closet.

"Maybe I'll wear a dress," I said with some difficulty. I hurry into the closet and attempt to unbutton my pants. It takes me a minute before I can get the button out of the small hole. It then looks as though I explode out of my pants and the zipper instantly rips open and my itty bitty stomach bump pops out.

Demi was dead jealous that I started showing already. It isn't even really that much. If you didn't know I was pregnant you wouldn't even be able to tell. And what I mean by showing is that my boobs have gotten huge, my pants have gotten tighter and it looks as though I've eaten way too many sweets.

Mum predicts that I'm going to simply pop. She says it can occasionally happen at this time. I really hope I don't pop much more. I can no longer fit into my jeans, which sucks. Also, I'm not very large to begin with and it is already starting to take its toll. I have stretch marks in the oddest of places, like behind my knees for example, and it is getting harder and harder to work up the courage to be naked in front of Cole anymore.

He, for the most part, is absolutely in love with my body at the moment. He says he enjoys me being "fuller" which Demi helpfully translated and means he likes my big boobs. I had deduced as much, as he was always suggesting lower cut tops or no tops whenever we went out together.

"Wear this dress," Cole says, handing one to me. "I like that dress."

I glance at it and then put it back on the rack in my closet. "Cole!" I give him an outraged look. "That dress is only for you for private."

"Then let's stay in private," he suggests. He comes behind me and nuzzles my neck enticingly, but I refuse to be swayed. He has gotten into an awful habit of sexually swaying all my thoughts and keeping me in bed with him for far too long.

"No," I say and swat him away from me. "I haven't been out with my friends in ages! You can't keep me cooped up in here like your sexual prisoner," I say.

"You aren't much of a sexual prisoner," Cole says with a pout. "You're pretty enthusiastic about almost everything."

"Hmph," I say. "Almost being the operative word."

"What does that mean?"

"I'm still a bit disturbed about the one role I was asked to play a week ago," I remind him with a slight smirk.

He instantly turns red and points an accusatory finger at me. "I thought we agreed that that never, ever left the bedroom!"

"We're in the bedroom!" I say.

"No, we're in the closet."

"In the bedroom."

"Just don't mention it, Roe," Cole snaps and stalks out of the closet, all thoughts of my cleavage gone from his mind. He is so easy to distract sometimes. Really, all you have to do is embarrass him and he immediately wants to be out of your sight for a while.

I survey my clothes in slight panic. I don't know what I'm going to do if I can't find anything appropriate to wear. Maybe I will have to wear that dress I bought for myself for Cole.

"Does this make me look—" I stop when I realize Cole is no longer in the bedroom. I sigh angrily and yank the stretchy skirt up my legs. I have to let it rest below my belly button. Now, for a top…

I choose another stretchy material which is really the only forgiving things I own. Anything with buttons or tight material is no longer an option. I'm going to have to go shopping. I don't need maternity clothes yet, as I don't really have much of a bump yet. Mum says most women don't start showing until at least five months, but that I've shown a bit earlier and not to worry. Again, I shudder at the thought of popping.

I step out of the closet and over to the full length mirror I made Cole buy me. First and foremost it is to track the progression of this so-called popping. It also comes in very handy when I need to see how fat or gross I look in a certain outfit.

I survey myself with critical eyes. I am wearing all black because it helps to hide the fact that I am pregnant. I am wearing a black stretchy skirt that falls below my knees. I have a black tank top on as well. I turn to the side before turning back to face the mirror. I frown in thought and then go to my dresser. I take off a necklace that was gifted to me from Cole when our pregnancy was confirmed. It seems to take some of the attention away from my boobs, which don't fit in anything now.

I sigh and muss my hair up a bit before giving an angry growl and running a brush through it once more. It lays flat against my head against and flows lazily down my back.

Once it does I turn to the side again to examine my stomach. Right now I just look rather disproportionate. I grab my boobs and realize with wide eyes that they are larger than a handful. I drop them mournfully.

"You know you look beautiful, don't you?"

I let out a strangled cry and turn wildly to glare at Cole.

"How long have you been standing there?" I accuse.

He seems amused. "A moment." I already know what is coming next. "But, don't stop. Continue what you were doing. I know I was certainly enjoying it."

I roll my eyes and turn back to the mirror. "Just like a man," I mumble. I try to stay angry with him, but I turn back to him just as quickly and ask, "I really look fine?"

He nods. "Yup."

"Okay."

"Beautiful, even."

"Thank you, Cole."

"Sexy."

"Oh for heaven's—" Cole comes and kisses me and, despite knowing his intentions, I instantly return his kisses. I am almost so befuddled by his kisses that I almost fall into bed with him. "Cole!" I pull away as I land awkwardly on his lap. "I _have_ to go out!"

"No you don't," he says with a pout. "You can stay here with me. I'll make you some hot chocolate—"

"It's ninety degrees out."

"Alright, some ice lemonade. Doesn't that sound nice?"

"Nice and tempting, but I'm still going out." He gives me his seducing face and I fight the pull of it. I kiss him one last time for good measure and stand. "Why don't you see what Sebastian is doing? Invite him over!"

"He's hardly a substitute for my lovely and unbelievably sexy—"

"I'm not moving to Siberia!" I snap. "I'm going to Demi's house and then we're going out to dinner. I'll be back by nine, my love." I kiss his forehead. "Be a dear and walk a woman to the fireplace."

Cole walks behind me and I constantly have to swat his hand away from my behind the entire way down the stairs. At first it was rather liberating the way Cole was still attracted to me despite my pregnancy, but now…

Well, before Cole could control himself. Even if he was at his horniest he could usually maintain some semblance of normalcy and calm. Now, though, he is so attracted to my breasts and so attracted to me by association, that I am constantly fighting off knee-shaking kisses and gentle touches that have me unraveling almost immediately. His sudden out of control attraction for me, coupled with my new hormones, has us going at it rather frequently. And let's face it, Cole has had power over me from day one. All he has to do is kiss me a certain way and I'm nearly as ready and horny as he is. I've basically got the sex drive of a sixteen year old boy.

When we get to the fireplace I give him one last kiss and wrap my arms around him. He smells so nice and so comforting that I do feel rather bad about parting with him. His mere presence always gives me a fuzzy feeling.

"I love you," I say to him.

"I love you," he replies. "Be safe."

"I will," I promise. "You keep yourself pleasantly occupied for the four hours I'll be gone." He pouts again. "And I'll make it up to you."

His lips give a slight quirk and he raises an eyebrow. "How?"

I sigh as though I'm seriously thinking it over. "Hmm…Oh, I don't know, maybe have your first born child in five months?"

Cole considers this and then he, too, gives a theatrical sigh. "Well…I _guess_ that'll be alright."

I beam at him. He is so adorable and lovely sometimes. I really can't even imagine what my life would be like without him.

"I love you," I repeat.

"And I love you."

OoOoOo

"_Mr. Malfoy!" McGonagall's shrill voice echoes through the hall of the classroom. Everyone turns to look at Cole and Sebastian. "Seeing as you and Mr. Zabini can not remain quiet I'll split you up."_

_Fuck._

_I instantly glance at the seat to my right which is vacant. Of all fucking days for Demi to contract the flu, she picked today. And, of course, the other seat next to me is vacant because Frank and Demi can't keep their faces off of each other even when one of them has the flu and one of them doesn't. Three guesses to who had the flu first. Frank. Stupid Valentine's Day with its flu-filled kisses!_

_Please be Zabini, please be Zabini, I internally chant. I can handle him. He's gorgeous, but he doesn't literally get my knickers in a twist. He doesn't know exactly what to say that has my cheeks erupting in embarrassment. He doesn't want to date me!_

"_Mr. Malfoy, go and sit by Miss Potter."_

_My body literally slumps with defeat and I let out a soft growl of annoyance._

_I don't see why I even bother._

_Cole turns to me with a victorious look, as though it were his intent all along to get both Demi and Frank sick, and to talk on end for thirty minutes before McGonagall flipped out and split him and Sebastian up. Knowing him, it was his intent the entire time. _

_Cole slides into the seat next to me and flips his gorgeous brown hair towards me. I am instantly enveloped in the sweetest, softest smell I have ever had the pleasure of inhaling. With a tinge to my cheeks I fix all of my attention and energy on the girl in front of me._

"_Hello, Potter."_

"_Malfoy," I reply tensly. _

"_I guess we'll be working together today."_

"_Yup. Just for today."_

"_Alright, everyone look to the person next to you. Meet your partner for the week."_

_I give McGonagall a look, but she, of course, doesn't seem to notice any. How can she do this to me? She was young once…I think. Maybe she just suddenly appeared one day ninety and old and bitter and MEAN. Who knows? All I know is that she purposely tries to get me to crack, or to break down sobbing and beg for mercy. Why else would she place my biggest, almost transparent crush right next to me and then make me work with him all week?_

"_I hope you know what you're doing," Cole says softly in my ear._

_The hairs on the back of my arm stand up and goosebumps erupt on my skin. I pray to all the gods in the world that he takes no notice as I fix him with the nastiest look I can muster._

"_Excuse me?" I snap._

"_I have no idea what I'm doing with these spells, so I just hope you do."_

"_So I'm supposed to do all the work?" I ask._

"_No, of course not. I'll help…some."_

"_Great. Of all the people in the entire classroom, I get placed with you," I snap._

_Cole gives me an affronted look. "You're not exactly Merlin reborn," he retorts._

"_Excuse me?" I snap. _

"_You aren't the smartest witch in this classroom. Stop acting like I'm sucking up all your talent or something, because believe me it'd be a short sip."_

_I glare at him. "Like you weren't pleased beyond belief when you were placed with me? Who are you kidding?" I hiss at him. I realize this is probably far below the belt, but I could not think of anything else to say. He was partly right. _

_Cole, for the first time ever, seemed absolutely mortified. I have never before mentioned his crush on me. I've never used it against him. I briefly wondered if I had done something unforgivable. Perhaps he'd punch me?_

_But then he snapped back, cheeks blushing terribly and replied, "Same to you."_

"_Ugh! As if!"_

"_You call me conceited?" he snaps. "Listen to you! I'd rather be with Zabini right now. At least he can properly wave a wand without poking himself in the eye!"_

"_That was one time in First Year!" I cry. "And if you recall I was trying to show you how to properly do a spell you were doing wrong!"_

"_Before or after you poked yourself in the eye with your wand?" he retorts._

"_You know what?"_

"_What?"_

"_You know what?"_

"_What?"_

"_You know what?"_

"_What?" Cole cries, his voice attracting the attention of those around us. _

"_You're bloody stupid. That's what."_

"_Ah, thank you. I believe the First Year who you stole the retort from would like it back," Cole says, waving it off._

"_No, I mean it," I reply. _

"_I bet you do."_

"_How am I supposed to work out these spells with you? You can barely pronounce them!"_

"_And you can barely act them out with stabbing something!"_

"_For the last time that was FIRST YEAR!" I bellow._

_Everyone has now decided that they'd rather watch us fight then work on their spells. Though we were being quite loud, we hadn't managed to attract the attention of McGonagall way at the front who was writing our homework on the black board. _

"_I don't have to sit here and fight with you! I am far too mature for this!" I turn my attention to the blackboard. _

_Cole is quiet for a second before he says, "You know who is always mature?"_

"_Who?" I say jerkily as I try to concentrate on the spell I am working._

"_Grandmothers," Cole says. _

"_Okay," I say and roll my eyes at his oddness._

"_Speaking of grandmothers," Cole says, his voice softening ever-so-slightly._

"_Yes?" I ask._

"_Those were some nice granny panties you were wearing the other day."_

_My spell misfires and shoot from my wand directly above McGonagall's head. She lets out a cry of surprise and whirls around. _

"_Miss Potter! If you can not control that wand then I will!"_

_I do not answer, as my eyes are locked on Cole's. I stutter for a response._

"_It was laundry day," I say lamely. _

"_Um hmm," he replies, his eyes fixed on the board. _

_I turn back to the board as my insides shrivel with embarrassment. It is then that I wheel on him and snap, "I may have granny panties—" I realize just how loud I said that as everyone turns to look at me. "—erm…" I trail off and my shoulders slump in defeat until everyone looks away from me again. Cole is smirking in amusement. "I may have granny panties," I hiss at him, "but you're a pervert for remembering them!"_

"_Believe me. As enticing as the thought of your bum may be to the many boys in the castle, the sight of them in those oversized knickers is not there by choice. It's like it's been branded into my skull."_

"_You are…You're such a…"_

"_Wait, would you like me to supply you with an insult? I know it may not be up to par with what you usually come up with, but…let's see…"_

"_Shut up." I fix my attention back on McGonagall._

"_No, really. What were you going to say?"_

"_I'm not listening," I sing-song._

"_It couldn't be about my dashingly good looks, which I know you've admired, could it?" My insides start to twist again. They always start to twist when he alludes to the fact that he knows I think he's bloody good looking. I pray nightly and daily that that is as far as it goes in his head. I hope he doesn't know I constantly picture him shirtless, or (in extremely rare and horny circumstances) pantless. I really hope he just thinks I am like all the other girls who think he has a pretty face. _

"_Hmm…" Cole says, leaning further in. I tighten my grip onto the table with such force that my knuckles turn white. _

_Again, he is always getting under my skin. As much as I would love to rip his clothes from his body and shag him within in inch of both our lives, I could bloody fucking kill him at the same time. He knows exactly what to say and what to do that will get me angry within seconds. He never has to try. _

_And it is there in those moments that I sometimes forget he has the bigger crush on me, and not the other way around. Cole's crush is somewhat rumored between the people we know. He has made it somewhat blatantly obvious from a certain point in Third Year. I personally can not see what he sees in me, but to each his own._

_One reason why I think it is a bit bearable is that Michael seems to take no notice over it. Cole has never come up to me while I am with Michael, but Demi has mentioned it in front of him and Michael doesn't even seem to care. Maybe he thinks I am so happy and comfortable with him that I wouldn't stray…I wouldn't, but the temptation is so great sometimes…_

"_And I know for a fact that it couldn't do with my kiss, which I know you liked very, very, very, _very_ much." With every very I felt myself breathing harder and harder until I turn to him. My cheeks have never been redder, I have never in my entire life been more embarrassed. And there was Cole, a full, I-win smirk on his face._

_It is dead silent between the two of us for a minute._

"_You bloody fucking imbecile!" I shout, standing and hitting him with my roll of parchment. "How dare…You stupid son of a—" Each word is punctuated with a slap of parchment against his arms, face or body. _

"_Miss Potter!"_

_In my haste to get him to shut the fuck up, I forgot exactly where I was. So, there I was, standing in the middle of my Transfiguration class beating the crap out of my crush with whom I had a passionate kiss with not two months ago behind my boyfriend's back. It was a rather twisted position. _

"_You do not use this classroom as your personal boxing session!" McGonagall screams. "Detention. Tonight. Eight o'clock." I was still breathing deeply when she suddenly cries, "You, too, Mr. Malfoy!"_

_Cole gives me a satisfied smirk as I sink back onto my chair. He leans in very close to me and says, "Well, I guess I can rest assured that it wasn't about this kiss."_

"_Oh, bugger off," I snap and shove his face. He tumbles off his chair onto the floor and we get another nights detention._

OoOoOo

**Month Five**

"I'm having a boy," Demi announces over breakfast. I whip around so fast I nearly lose an eye. Stupid fucking ornamental elastic. That's the last time I am swayed by a salesgirl!

"A boy?" I repeat.

She nods and beams happily. "We found out last month. I positively couldn't wait. Frank wanted to find out, but I wanted to wait. It's better this way, though. At least now I know what I want to buy for…Oh, Merlin, not you, too!"

"I'm sorry," I mumble, wiping a tear away from my eye. "It's just…A boy, Demi! Congratulations!" I wrap her into a hug.

"Why does everyone but me feel the need to cry over this?" she asks. "I'm becoming quite worried."

"Why?"

"I don't cry."

"I've seen you cry," I say.

"I haven't shed a real tear since the day you made me feel like shit in your bathroom."

"What?" I snap. "When did I…Oh. Okay, well, there isn't anything to worry about. You're just not a very emotional person."

Demi thinks this over. "But I am. I get happy quite a bit and I cry…sometimes. But as soon as I tell anyone I'm having a boy they get all weepy and emotional and I sit there awkwardly and stare at them."

"You'll get emotional," I say with confidence.

"I hope so. I don't want to be a cold mother. My mother wasn't cold…No mother I have ever met was cold."

"You won't be cold," I say.

"But I can be mean," she protests. I can see this will be a slight debate between the two of us.

"You're not—"

"No, Roe…I can be mean." She raises her eyebrows for emphasis. "Like I do stuff that I know will piss Frank off just for the joy of hearing him get upset."

"Well, my dear little sociopath, that doesn't mean you're going to be a cold mother," I say.

"But, what if—"

"You have never been mean to me," I tell her. "Never once in our entire friendship did I ever feel like I hated you. You have been the warmest, most considerate friend for almost nineteen years. So, do not worry about how you feel now. It will change dramatically once the baby gets here."

She seems eased by this and says, "What about you?"

"I'm going to be a great mother!" I say a bit defensively.

"No, dummy," she says, rolling her eyes. "I know that!" She rolls her eyes again. "Do you want to know the sex of the baby? It is really useful, you know. Every yellow outfit I looked at or received was just so wrong. I needed to know if I was having a boy or a girl."

"Well," I say carefully, "Cole and I decided we wanted to wait to find out. There aren't many surprises left in life—"

"Yes there are," she says dismissively.

I roll my eyes. "Be that as it may," I say, "we've decided not to know."

That isn't exactly true. Cole decided we didn't want to know. Well, Cole won the decision not to know. I swear I will never play rock paper scissor shoot with him ever again! He always wins!

Demi raises her eyes and says in a sing-song voice, "It's better if you know."

I think about this as I get home. I watch Cole going about his business, seemingly oblivious to my inner thoughts. He is slowly painting the nursery a creamy yellow color. His wand zaps this way and that before he decides to do it himself.

"These blasted wands never put enough paint in the right spots," he says over his shoulder.

"Cole…" I say timidly.

"Hmm?" he asks.

"Do you like that color for the walls?"

He bends upright and glances from it to me and then back again. Not for the first time he seems a bit cautious about how to speak and just what to say.

"Didn't we agree on this color? Do you…Do you want a different color for the walls?"

"Maybe," I say, trying to find the best way to spring this on him. "What about…blue…or pink?"

"Well, we'd need to know the sex of the baby for that and…" He narrows his eyes at me. He instantly becomes defensive. "You said I won and it was my decision not to know. You said you didn't want to know, either."

"I know I did," I say, chewing thoughtfully on my lip. "But now…"

"But now what?" he asks.

"But now I want to know," I reply. "Is it really that big of a deal?"

"Yes."

"Is it?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

Cole seems stumped for a proper answer. He glares at me as he tries to come up with a proper response. Finally he says, "Because, Roe."

"Because why?"

"Because I won!"

"That's stupid!" I snap. "Fine, let's do it again."

"No!" Cole snaps back. "I won fair and square."

"Come on, one more time." I hold out my hand. "Come on."

"No."

"Scared?"

"Are you kidding me with this right now?"  
"Come on, Cole! Be a man and put your hand out."

"You need to calm down."

"Do it, Cole!" I cry.

"Fine." Cole switches the paintbrush in his hand to the other and holds out his hand. "On the count of three. One, two, three—"

I put down paper as he puts down scissors.

"Damn it!" I cry. "Two out of three."

"No. I won. Again."

"Two out of three!"

"Fine," Cole says warily. "One, two, three—"

I put my hand out at four and still manage to lose.

"God DAMN IT!" I bellow furiously. "This game is stupid. Let's do something else. I know! We'll have a pie eating contest."

Cole gives me an incredulous look. "Seriously?"

"What?"

"You are like a black hole with food right now."

"I am not!"

"I watched you inhale an entire pizza the other night. Not a small, not a medium, but a large." He raises an eyebrow. "A pie would be no small task for you."

I stare at him in outrage before spitting, "I don't have to ask you for your permission, you know."

"Excuse me?"

"I was giving you a chance to voice your opinion. I can go to the Healer's office any time I want and find out what I'm having."

"Oh no you won't!" Cole threatens.

"Well, maybe I will. And maybe I'll just come home one day and _accidentally_ blurt out that we're having a boy! Or maybe I'll _accidentally_ leave out a couple of pink booties."

"You wouldn't dare!"

"Wouldn't I?" I ask, arching an eyebrow and flouncing from the room.

Would I?

Now in the privacy of our bedroom I feel slightly less confident and slightly more guilty. It wouldn't be entirely fair to find out if Cole didn't also want to. I can't do that to Cole. Also, he seemed pretty miffed at me.

I can't find out the sex of the baby.

Unless he wants to, too.

Which means…

I don't even have to move before Cole comes storming into the bedroom. It seems in the forty-five seconds we've been apart he has had the time to work up a plausible argument.

"Rosemary Ginevra Malfoy—" I wince at the use of my full name. "I swear on everything holy that if you go to the doctor's appointment against what we decided and without my consent—"

"I know, Cole," I say in a small voice.

"I—What?"

"You're right," I say with a sigh. "That would be unfair of me."

"Oh. Er, right. Yes, yes it would be unfair." He seems a bit put off as though he were looking forward to yelling. "Okay, then."

"Come here." I hold out my arms and he timidly comes forward. I think he was expecting a full blown fight, and to find me relenting so quickly and easily has definitely scared him. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Cole says gruffly.

I stand up on my tip-toes and give him a kiss. Once we break apart I give him a broad smile and say, "Go sit down on the bed."

"Why?"

"Just do it," I say in a whisper. "You'll like it."

Cole sits down on the bed all the while giving me a rather nervous look. He isn't dumb, and he knows me pretty well now. I think he might have the tiniest inkling as to where this is going.

I walk over to him and then, before he has a chance to react, I sit down fully and completely in his lap. His hand immediately come to my hips to lift me up again, but I start stroking one hand against his neck…very close to that one little spot.

I trail kisses along his jaw line until I reach near his ear. By the time I get there he is protesting.

"Roe…I don't know if this is such a great idea."

At least he doesn't know my true reasoning behind it. His hands are trying to pick up my hips, though with some of the baby weight it has gotten harder, so I zero in on his spot. If I do it just right I can get him to become slightly immobile.

I kiss and kiss and kiss until his hands stop trying to pick up my hips and fall limply at our sides. I smirk against his neck and continue doing this for a bit before I experimentally rock my hips forward. His eyes fall shut and a small sound escapes his lips.

_Got ya._

"You know," I whisper in his ear.

"Hmm?" he says distractedly.

"We could easily pick out baby names if we knew what we were having," I say in the same soft voice. Best not to jostle him too much from this romantic session.

When he doesn't say anything I try again. "And we wouldn't have to keep calling it 'It' or 'The baby' or 'them.'" I suck harder and he bucks against me. "You know?"

He nods against my face. I feel a delighted swoop in my stomach.

"So it's decided?" I say and begin to pull his shirt over his head. It falls behind my and I instantly trail my fingers up his sides as my mouth goes back to his neck. I continue there for a few seconds before saying, "We'll go to the Healer tomorrow and see what we're having?"

"Huh?"

"Yes or no," I say quickly.

"Roe!"

I am suddenly lifted into the air and set right on my feet. I glance up at Cole's flushed face and feel a stab of annoyance.

"I wasn't done," I snap at him.

"Oh, I know what you're doing!" he cries. His hand goes to his neck which I've been abusing for about twelve minutes and he gives me an outraged look. "I wish I never told you about this damn spot!"

"You didn't," I say. "I found it all on my own, thank you."

The day I found it all I did was kiss his neck in exactly the right place and happen to cup him through his jeans a couple of times before he started bucking around and got all shifty and embarrassed. It gave me a thrill then (and still does) to know he has a spot that makes him go absolutely bonkers.

"Stop using it against me!"

"I can't help how sensitive it is, Cole," I say. "So you don't want me to kiss your neck?" I arch an eyebrow. "You never want me to kiss you there?"

The only time Cole ever wants me to kiss him there is when we're alone in a house with no where to be in the next few hours. All of our best sex has started with fifteen minutes of just making out; he kissing my neck, me kissing his.

"I do," Cole says in an embarrassed voice. "It's just…" He throws me a filthy look. "You fight dirty."

"Why thank you," I say. "Oh, alright, I'm sorry. Come here."

"I don't think so," Cole says, holding up his hands in defense. "I'm not falling for that trick again in the near future."

"Oh, don't be stupid, Cole." When he still doesn't move I go to him and wrap him into a hug. "I'm sorry."

"Okay."

"Forgive me?"

"Forgiven."

I kiss his chest and feel him leading us back to the bed. Hmm…maybe I still can get my way. I have to play this very carefully, though. Cole is already on to me. I might have to do something else…

He does let me kiss him there again. I am just doing a slight victory dance when he pulls back from me.

"What are you doing?" I ask.

"Well," Cole says. "You've voiced all of your reasons for finding out, but I haven't gotten to voice my reasons for waiting." He bunches my skirt up around my hips and slides my knickers down my legs.

"Hey, no fa—" The rest of my words expire with a puff as I inhale sharply. My head falls back against the pillows.

I lose at everything!

_OoOoOo_

_It happened again. I can not believe it happened again. I had gone four long months without a single internal mention or remembrance of them and then, quite suddenly, they're back. All it took was one look at him and suddenly I'm dream-fucking Cole Malfoy again. _

_Believe me when I said that the first time it happened I was more than horrified. As it was I was barely fifteen and in my Fourth Year. The dream itself wasn't really a sex dream, but it was the one that let my inner thoughts clue me in to what I had feared all along: I was in love with Cole Malfoy._

_The first dream was simple. He was standing in the Great Hall all by himself and I was on the other side of him. We stared at each other, presumably waiting for the other to make the first move. I guess my dream-self cracked first, because a moment later I was walking towards him. Butterflies went rampant in my stomach as I got close enough to reach out and touch him._

"_What are you doing?" Dream-Cole asked. _

"_I don't know," Dream-me replied. I went forward further and wrapped my arms around him and nuzzled my face against his chest. A second later my hands trailed down his ribs and then under his plain t-shirt. When my fingertips touched his bare skin he let out a groan and I awoke with a shout. _

_It was the first time in my entire life that I had an orgasm. And the dream wasn't even anything that special._

_It was nearly unbearable to see him after that. I was sure he must have known not only what I had dreamed, but what I had done milliseconds after the dream. I was sure he was in my head seeing me replay the dream over and over and over again and I was sure he could feel my knickers dampen with each thought of it._

_I was so ashamed and so freaked out that I didn't say anything to anyone and I pretended it had never, ever happened. Though, on the rare occasions when I had the dorm all to myself, I had to be very creative in how I spent my time, lest I do not so lady like things all the while thinking of Cole Malfoy. _

_I only dreamt about Cole Malfoy one last time before school let out, though this one did not give me naughty feelings. This one wasn't that bad. We were simply standing together, holding hands. When I awoke the next morning, I could still feel the warmth of his hand on mine. _

_Then in October of my Fifth Year they started again. And, seeing as I happened to have matured slightly in my knowledge of sex, thanks to Demi and Frank, my dreams had been more vivid. And bloody fucking naughty. Well, sometimes they weren't, and those were the worst. The absolutely normal dreams freaked me out more than the sex dreams. I had made a believable, hypothetical situation and presented it to Demi: Is it weird for a girl to think sexually of a man who makes fun of her sometimes? She told me that no, it wasn't. She said lots of people did it. However, when I asked her if it was okay to have an orgasm after having a dream where said person simply ran his hands through my hair, she gave me a rather odd look. I was so freaked out and embarrassed that I blurted out, "That's the same look I gave Bree Harris!" I have never been sure if Demi believed me or not. _

_Speaking of the dream with the hair…Well, let me just tell you that I had been so afraid to fall asleep that I was up very, very late. It drove Demi bonkers because I wouldn't say why I won't fall asleep, yet I try and keep her up with me nightly. _

"_No, you crazy bastard!" she finally yelled and promptly fell back asleep. _

_So I was forced to stay up until three in the morning, petrified of what would play out from behind my closed eyes. It wasn't even the dreams themselves that freaked me out, just how I reacted to them. It shouldn't be normal for a fifteen year old girl to get excited over some hair…is it?_

_The dream I had the other month was by far one of the best…well, then that would be the worst…wouldn't it? Oh, bugger it. In this dream I had my knickers around my ankles and was kissing Cole's neck furiously as his hand was buried in between my legs. _

_When I woke up that morning I had to…well, take care of myself and then I, as always, dashed into the bathroom for a cold shower. When I got out I padded over to the mirrors to look at myself clearly. As I stood there and took in the sight of my still flushed cheeks I said out loud, "You're in love with Cole Malfoy."_

_And I haven't had a dream since._

_OoOoOo_

**Month Six**

Cole shuffled the deck and pulled out a card. He glanced down at it. "This is for a boy. Adam."

"No."

"No as well."

I picked a card. "This is also for a boy. Hank."

"No."

"Nope."

"Girl. Delilah."

"No."

"Fine." Cole always gets moody when I reject one of his names.

"Boy. Liam."

"Um…no."

"Same."

"Girl again. Charlotte."

"Yes."

Cole looks up at me surprised. "Really?"

"I like that name."

"Ok. You pick."

I take a card out from my deck. "Reb…ecca." I look up at him with an incredulous glare. "Why is this name in here?"

"I don't know."

"You wrote it. This is your handwriting!"

"I just like the name, Roe!"

"Do you know what this name means to me?" I ask.

"What?"

"Swallows."

"You think of birds when you think of the name Rebecca?"

"No, you prat! I think of Rebecca Swallows!"

"Well, I wasn't! I just like the name!"

"Fine. I want Michael put in."

"That is entirely different." Cole's face hardens.

"How so?" I ask.

"Because Rebecca didn't torment you all through Hogwarts."

"Michael didn't torment you!"

"He was with you, wasn't he?"

"Fine. No to Rebecca."

"Ok." Cole glances down at a card in his hand. "Linus."

"Erm…maybe."

"Ok."

"Girl. Sophie."

"Yes."

"Yes."

We do this for another hour before we run out of cards. Cole surveys his neat little piles and my haphazard mess with wary eyes.

"Well," he says. "We have at least a hundred nos, eight yeses and twenty…eight maybes."

"Ok. Let's narrow it down with the yeses and maybes," I suggest. "What are the maybes?"

"Linus, Chloe, Zoe, Iris—"

"Wait! Put Iris in the yes pile," I say. "I like that name. Put Sophie in the maybe pile."

"Ok…" I hand it to Cole and he does so.

"What are the yeses again?"

"Charlotte, Iris, August—" He glances up. "That was a yes?"

"Yes." I see his surprised look. "It's a lovely name, Cole."

"I know. It's my middle name."

"I know that," I say. "I might want to name the baby after you, you know if you don't make such a big deal about it…" He beams at me. "Continue."

"Eden, Wyatt, Aidan, Connor and Atticus."

"Right…Tell me why that last one is in there?"

"It is after my mother's father who I was very, very close to."

"OK." I sigh. "This was tiring. I like all the yeses and almost all of the maybes. Get Lola out of there."

"A please is not out of the question," Cole snaps.

"You know please is implied," I return. I glance down at my stomach. "Why can't this baby be of any help? I was at least hoping it would start moving if I mentioned a certain name we liked."

"Did it?"

"Nope. I thought maybe around Charlotte, but that was just gas."

"Lovely."

"Ok. So for girls we like…" I ignore his comment.

"Charlotte, Iris and Eden."

"Ok." I say the names in my head over and over. "I do like those. And for boys…"

"Wyatt, Aidan, Connor and Atticus."

"And August! Don't be bashful."

"I forgot that one." Cole waves his wand and mumbles a spell and all my cards suddenly jump into neat little piles. "Here. I'll throw out all the nos."

"Thanks."

I sit back and stare at the cards that are flipped upright with names on them. Again, this would all be so simple if Cole wasn't such a prat and would just let us find out what exactly we were having. Then we could throw out some of the boy names or some of the girl names.

"Are you sure you don't want to know?" I call to him.

"Yes." He returns and sits down across from me. "Are you sure about August?"

"Yes, Cole! It has special meaning to me."

"What is that?"

"Besides being your middle name, it also pays tribute to the first time we were…together."

"We did that in June."

"Right. But think back. The August Ball was canceled for August because of some bullshit in the Ministry. So, instead they pushed it up to June and included the opening of the new wing in the hospital. And they called it…"

"The June/August Ball," Cole finishes for me.

"If they hadn't of canceled the August Ball and decided to merge it with the hospital opening then we never would have gotten together."

Cole sighs. "Well…I guess…It's just…"

"What?"

"I was named after my great-uncle August."

"Uh-huh."

"He was kind of a tyrant. Banned from eighteen countries. Bounties on his head, that kind of thing."

"Oh." I glance down at the name doubtfully. "Well…"

"But if you really want to name our child that…"

I glance up at Cole. "We can raise him to be gentle. And we won't travel with him."

"Ok." Cole places the card back in the yes pile.

I wince.

"What?" Cole asks, concerned.

"Baby on the move." I hold out my hand and place Cole's large hand on the spot where the baby is now kicking somewhat violently. It usually lets me know when it is hungry. As always Cole's face erupts into a wide grin. I grip his hand tightly and he kisses my forehead.

"I like August," he says.

"With our luck we'll have all girls," I say. I, personally, would not mind all boys. In fact, I'd much rather have all boys than all girls.

"I don't think I'd mind that much," Cole says and kisses me again. "I bet they'd be as pretty as you are. And they'd be popular and all the boys would love them…"

"Boys. Definitely boys."

"Oh yeah."

_OoOoOo_

"_Who is she, anyways?"_

"_Who?"_

"_Her." I didn't realize how viciously I spit out the word until I heard Demi speak again._

"_Whoa. Who? Calm down!" Demi followed my eyes towards a girl Cole was kissing. "Um…I think her name is Becca…Rebecca."_

"_Rebecca," I say slowly. _

"_Yeah. Get this, Rebecca Swallows."_

"_She does what?" I cry._

"_Huh?" Demi asks and then rolls her eyes. "No, you prat. It's her last name!"_

"_Her last name is Swallows?" I ask._

"_Yup."_

_I internally fumed to myself. What a stupid fucking girl with a stupid fucking last name. Why did she have to be all over Cole? _

_Fucking arse, again with the blushing? Why can't my cheeks control themselves? They were able to survive embarrassing sex dreams with Cole, but they can hardly survive the mere sight or mention of him?_

"_Why do you care, anyways?"_

"_Huh?" I ask. _

"_Why do you care who he's kissing? Isn't it better that he isn't trailing after you every fifteen seconds?" Demi raised an eyebrow. "Well? Isn't it?"_

"_For the love of Merlin, Demi!" I reply. "Let a girl swallow."_

"_Here here," Frank pipes in and we both glare at him._

"_Yes, congratulations, Frank, you've made a sexual innuendo," Demi snaps. "Now shut up." He does so willingly, his only thought on our conversation stated._

"_I was just wondering," I start, my voice shaking slightly, "because I wanted to know who the poor girl was who was having his mouth all over her." And why she wasn't me._

"_Oh." Demi glances back over at them. "Well. Her name is Rebecca and she's in Fourth Year."_

_FOURTH YEAR? _

_I internally fume. How dare he date someone so young, so childish! She couldn't be more than fourteen years old and he was basically having his way with her right there in front of all of us. Doesn't he have any decency? What kind of a sick person is he? Where are his morals?_

_The person to my left nudges me. "Pass the salt."_

_I do so and turn to Michael with a fleeting look before concentrating on Cole again. It is so easy to concentrate on Cole because Michael and I hardly talk anymore. If anything he has gotten so down right weird that I can barely stand to be near him. He's hot and cold with me way too much._

_For example, one moment he's actually quite gentle and rather sweet with me and then the next minute he doesn't want to talk to me. And really, I know I can be a hypocrite at times, but…_

_If I were to break up with Michael just for the off chance that Cole would still want me there is always that chance that I did something wrong. Maybe Michael is just going through a phase? Maybe he'll get his head out of his arse and realize that I'm a catch, okay? I may not be the prettiest girl in the entire world and my boobs aren't that great and Demi's told me I don't have much of an ass, but I'm sweet. And I have a hell of a lot of patience with Michael. _

_Michael was sweet when we first got together. And then it all suddenly went to piss! Almost instantly he became slightly distant. We started dating October of my Fourth Year. And even those first months I don't think you could call it dating._

_We never had an official first date, now that I think about it. He just talked to me a lot. A part of me liked it because at first I was able to hang out more with my siblings, until we all realized we didn't like each other very much and Elizabeth stopped sitting with us. _

_Then one summer break before my Fifth Year it was like BAM! Michael was no longer as sweet and gentle as he once was. He would look at me with these big, awful, mournful eyes and I'd say, "What?" and he'd say, "Nothing." And I'd say, "What, Michael?" and again he'd say, "Nothing."_

_I've always thought he wanted to tell me something, but it was probably something stupid. I turn to him now to see he is scribbling away on a letter. I want to lean over and see what it says, but last time I did it he pushed me and I fell over backwards onto the floor. Like I really give a rat's ass what he's writing. I don't know why he has to be so secretive! He never really speaks to me anymore. If he's so unhappy than he should just break up with me!_

_Though, the same could be said for me. _

_But I'm in a different position. I know that now. I want Cole, but Cole only wants me because he can't have me. Demi described the inner workings of Cole's brain over Christmas break, right after our little kiss, which I DID NOT mention to Demi. _

"_You see," she had said, "Malfoy only bugs you and goes after you because he knows you've got a boyfriend. He enjoys the buildup of what may be, but doesn't want the actual you. In the unlikely event that he were to get you I'm almost sure he'd not want you anymore."_

_I trust Demi and so I believe her. It actually makes sense._

_So, as I have nothing better to look forward to, I stay with Michael. At least I've been with Michael long enough to know him…kind of. Even though we've been going through a weird patch for…hmm…well, about a year or so, I know things will even out. They have to even out…don't they?_

_It isn't even as though we're dating anymore, not really. We've stopped kissing. Quite abruptly, actually. I got a good night's kiss one night and then when I went for my morning one he pushed me away. That was about…seven or eight months ago. _

_And let me tell you…I'm a woman with needs! I can't help it or myself!_

_The other day Michael and I were sitting in the Common Room all by ourselves. He was doing homework and I was just looking at him. Before I could really understand what I was doing I reached across, picked up his hand and placed it on my chest. _

_He turned to look at me and said, "What are you doing?"_

"_That is my boob."_

"_I know that. Why am I touching it?"_

"_Because you can," I said. _

_This seemed to upset him and he dropped his hand immediately as though he were ashamed. I burned red with embarrassment. _

"_Why won't you kiss me?" I asked._

"_What are you talking about?"_

"_Why don't you kiss me?"_

"_I kiss you."_

"_No you don't!" I accused._

"_Yes, I do, Rose—" He broke off when I leaned across my arm rest to kiss him. His lips were stiff against mine. "Stop it!" he broke away and gently pushed me back onto my seat. "Merlin, it's like kissing my sis—" he broke off in his mumbling and went back to his work. _

"_If you aren't going to kiss me or touch my boob then I think we should break up," I said into his silence. _

_Slowly, he turned to look at me and something had flashed into his eyes. _

"_You want to break up? You really want to break up with me?"_

_When he laid it out in front of me like that I was unsure._

"_No, Michael, I don't, but—" But I did…_

"_Oh." He turned back to his work. _

_As I gaze at him now I once again begin to wonder if he is gay. Don't teenage boys generally want to touch their girlfriend's boobs? Some of the Muggle boys don't want to on a more religious note, but Michael isn't religious! And he doesn't mind me touching him occasionally and only if he is in a drunken oblivion. I wish he'd just say he was gay already!_

"_Ew, look at them go!" Demi says next to me. I turn to look at her._

"_Who?"_

"_Malfoy and that slutty little Fourth Year."_

_I whip around to see that they are, indeed, going at it. _

"_Why are you looking at them?" I ask desperately, a sinking sensation in my stomach._

"_Hey, you started it!" Demi pauses. "Look at her! She totally just licked his face!"_

"_Stop—"_

"_That reminds me…I'm craving ice cream…" Her eyes search the table for it._

OoOoOo

**Month Seven**

Demi is in labor!

Cole and I were woken at about six this morning with the news. It is now very late in the evening, almost near the next day.

"I feel bad for the baby," Cole says, taking a sip of his tea.

"What? Why?" I ask, perplexed.

"You've met Demi, correct?"

"Yes," I say, having no clue where this is going.

"She doesn't have a compassionate bone in her entire body!" he says, fixing me with a look. "It's going to cry once and she's going to send it away."

"That isn't true," I say, fighting hard not to smile. "Demi will be a wonderful mother."

"Would you like to wager on it?" Cole asks.

"How in the world do we do that?" I ask.

"Easy. When it turns seventeen if it seems like a happy, well adjusted child, then you win. If it doesn't then I win."

"Win what?" I cry.

"Anything you want."

"Seventeen years from now? Gee. What are my choices?" I turn away from his smile to think about it. It takes a minute for me to choose something plausible. "Okay. If I win I want foot massages every night for a month."

"And if I win?" he asks.

"I have no idea. You pick."

"Easy. Sex."

"Wow. Didn't see that one coming," I say, rolling my eyes and smiling at him. "Fine. Sex."

"Everyday for a month, too," Cole says.

I turn to him in surprise. "You can't be serious!"

"Why not? You get foot massages!"

"We'll have children!" I say. "There is no way I am having sex with you every single day!"

"You never know. You might not know how you feel," Cole replies.

"I guess I'll have to wait," I reply.

"So you think there's a chance I might win," Cole says, smirking at me.

I turn my head and sniff at him. "I have said no such thing. Oh, by the way, we should probably write this down. You know how forgetful I am lately."

"There you are! We've been looking all over for you!"

Cole and I turn to see Frank hurrying towards us and I feel an awful swoop in my stomach at the panicked look on his face. His face is completely white, his eyes wide with shock and I've never seen a more startled or dreading face.

"What's the matter? Is something the matter?" I ask quickly, attempting to stand.

"She's…it's coming!" he says. "He's coming."

"He is?" I cry. "Now?"

"Yes. A Healer just went to fetch another Healer for the delivery. She's going to start pushing now. Come upstairs with us."

Frank and Cole hurry only a few feet off when I cry out Cole's name. "I can't…stand," I grunt, trying to hoist myself from my slightly reclined position. I try and push my massive stomach out of the way in vain. It's quite stuck to me.

"Here, let me help," Cole says. He pulls my chair back from the table and holds firmly onto my arms. Keeping my back straight, he pulls me into the air and onto my feet. "That's getting harder everytime. You keep getting heavier…I mean, lovelier."

"Did you say heavier?" I ask crossly. "There's a baby inside of here. It isn't as though I've put on all this weight for my own benefit!"

"I know you haven't," Cole says quickly. "Don't take it the wrong way, either. I just meant that with the baby getting bigger you've been getting heavier."

"You didn't want some scrawny, limp baby did you?" I ask. He shakes his head no.

"Then don't complain about how heavy I am!"

"Roe, I never complain about how heavy you are. It doesn't bother me."

"I should bloody hope not!" I say. "I'd like to see you get pregnant and carry this baby to full term. It hasn't been easy, you know."

"I know, Roe. I sleep right next to you, remember?"

"Yeah. That's all we do lately. Sleep."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Hey, guys?" Frank's head comes around the corner. "I've asked the baby and he said he'd rather not wait for you two to keep fighting. So you can finish up now and miss his birth, or finish up later and come watch the miracle of life."

"He called me fat," I say, poking a thumb at Cole.

"You are fat," Frank says.

"That isn't polite!" I accuse. "Coming from a new father—" I start suddenly. "Demi's pushing right now! Cole, help my heavy arse up the stairs!"

We get to the top of the stairs to see an exhausted Demi, with sweat plastering her hair against her forehead. She gives me a look as I come in.

"Never again," she insists. "I can't do this ever again." She shakes her head for emphasis and says, through clenched teeth, "This actually hurts a million times worse than you prepare yourself for."

I feel a nervous rippling in my stomach. "Oh?" I ask thickly.

"It's almost over. The worst is over. We've seen the worse." She snaps her head to glare at the Healer's back. "Right?"

"Pardon, dear?" The kind looking Healer turns around, eyebrows raised.

"The bad part's over, right?"

"Once the baby is out, yes, dear."

"How much longer?"

There is a pop and a new Healer arrives, bright eyed.

"How are we all today?" she asks excitedly. "You must be the one having the baby," she says to Demi, who in turn glares at her. "Let's just see what we've got her—"  
"I've got to push!" Demi cries. "I've got the feeling to push. I want to PUSH!"

"Alright, darling. Just give me one second over here and then I think maybe it might be time."

"Maybe? Oh, no, you don't understand! I have to push. I have to push. I HAVE TO PUSH."

"Doctor," I say timidly. "Maybe you should let her push."

But as soon as she does start pushing, I really wish she would stop.

I stare at it hanging out of Demi and feel myself get rather sick to my stomach. I can not believe that my best friend since birth has a baby, her baby, hanging half out of her vagina. It is, quite simply, the grossest thing I have ever seen in my entire life. In fact, I think I am quite confident to say that I am scarred.

"How does it look?" Demi grunts.

I plaster on a fake smile. "Beautiful! You can see the head!"

"You can?" she says. "What does it look like?"

"Erm…well, rather bald. And red."

"The baby has red hair?"

"No. There's a lot of blood."

"Oh, gross!"

"You're not the one staring at it," I reply.

"Mrs. Longbottom! I'm going to need you to focus on what's happening here," the Healer snaps.

Demi continues to push. Her face is red and sweaty and nasty. She hasn't looked more strained or lovely in her entire life. There is something so glowy about her that I become quite jealous, despite the shouts of pain she's in.

"I. Am. Never. Doing. This. Again."

"One last push."

"No. Just ya—AH!"

With a slight pop, Demi and Frank's beautiful baby slides out and into the waiting hands of the Healer. There is an immediate onslaught of noise, none louder than the baby crying. His little face is scrunched up, his fists balled up in fury.

"It's a boy!"

"Oh my God, Demi! Demi you had a baby! Demi! Demi?" I turn to look at her, but she is staring at the baby, eyes wide and silent.

And then, to my surprise, Demi, who had always been so strong and the epitome of power and strength, burst into tears. Not small tears that can be wiped away with the brush of a hand. No, Demi burst into sobs. Huge, loud sobs that echoed in the small room.

It got even worse when the baby was placed on her chest. She cried even harder. Harder than I've ever seen her cry. I'm crying, too, but I blame it on the hormones. Of course, I blame it on the little baby that is currently screaming at the top of his lungs.

Demi strokes his hair, despite the awful gunk all over him. She turns to Frank, her eyes wide as though she can't quite believe this is what came out of her. And then they kiss and I immediately feel as though Cole and I are intruding on something quite special.

"What are you going to name him?" I ask as I kiss Demi's forehead.

Demi turns to Frank and before he can open his mouth she says, "Francis."

Frank seems generally surprised by this. "Really?" he asks.

Demi nods emphatically. She hastily wipes her eyes. "Yes, Frank. I love you."

"Demi, I'm going to go get your parents," I say. Remus couldn't stomach more than five minutes of the birth before he had to excuse himself. Tonks said he was exactly the same way during Demi's birth, but she made him stay in there for that one.

As I close the door over to the bedroom I take a rather queasy and ill looking Cole downstairs for some cool air. I meet Tonks and Remus in the kitchen and tell them what happen. They hug each other and kiss tenderly before hurrying up the stairs.

Once alone I turn to Cole with raised eyebrows.

"Well," I say.

"Well."

"Maybe they can knock me out for the birth."

"Me too."

"Let's let the Lupin/Longbottom family have their rest," I suggest.

"Okay."

As Cole goes forward I grab his hand and squeeze it encouragingly.

_OoOoOo_

_I finally convinced Demi to come with me to the library to study for finals with me. It was no easy effort, let me tell you that. She was more than content to study in the stuffy Common Room._

_So, on a rather warm Saturday morning, we entered the library and were horridly surprised to see it filled to the brim with people._

"_What in the…" I curse. "What are all these people doing?" I ask crossly. "And so early? It's nine in the morning!"_

"_Yup, and I'm awake," Demi snaps. She glances around for a table. "Look, there's one over there."_

_We begin to walk over to it and then both of us freeze. _

"_Nope."_

"_This is just great."_

_Demi deliberates and then says, "Listen, I'm up at nine on a Saturday. We'll just go sit with them and we'll study for a little and then we'll go and—"_

"_Wait, we can't study. There aren't enough seats. Where is Frank going to sit?" I ask._

"_He's on the Quidditch pitch with his friends."_

"_Oh, alright…Wait! What friends? We're his friends."_

"_He has other friends," Demi says. _

"_He has other friends?" I nearly cry._

_Demi shrugs. "I guess so. So, let's go…" She begins to tug me over there when I dig my heels into the carpet._

"_No, Demi! Let's just…"_

"_What is the matter with you?" Demi asks. _

_I can't tell her. "Nothing."_

_So, we head over to the only table with two open seats. As we get directly in front of it Demi clears her throat._

"_Do you mind if we sit here?" She spits the words out with great difficulty._

_Sebastian Zabini and Cole Malfoy both snap their heads up at the same time. They are sitting next to each other, shoulders touching. Cole's eyes lock on mine._

"_Oh, erm…Yes! Of course!" Cole instantly swipes his things off the table leaving an empty spot. He turns to Zabini and then nudges him with a glare. With a roll of his eyes, Zabini, too, clears a spot for us. _

_Demi and I both sit down to awkward silence. I instantly look down at my notes so I don't have the distraction of Cole's stare on my mind. I can feel his eyes on the top of my head, which already make it hard to concentrate. _

_After a half an hour, Demi stands and announces she's running to the loo. I give her a desperate look and she says she'll be back in just a moment. As soon as she's gone the tension seems to multiply. _

_I'm almost a hundred percent positive that Zabini has at least some idea of how Cole feels about me. Most of our year does, but…I also wonder if maybe Cole is more open with his friend than I am with mine. _

_And then I am suddenly gripped with fear and embarrassment. My palms start to sweat. What if Cole told Zabini about the kiss in December? What if Zabini knows about it? It's already bad enough Zabini might know every little thing Cole has ever thought about me. _

_I start tapping my quill against my parchment nervously. I would have gone with Demi, but I needed to insure our seats were saved. Cole would probably have saved them for us, but then it also would have seemed like I couldn't stand to be with him without Demi. I can't, but he doesn't need to know that. At least we have Zabini as a bumper._

"_Well…if you don't mind, I'm going to also use the bathroom," Zabini announces, standing. "I'll be back in a moment. You two kids play nice."_

_I blush in embarrassment and, with a quick look at Cole's face, see he has done the exact same thing. Our eyes meet for only a second before I drop them back to my notes. My entire body has erupted in heat and I know it is no longer any use looking at my notes._

_I turn my head to the side and let my hair spread over my arm and the table. I chance a glance at Cole and see that he is staring at it. As soon as he sees me looking, though, he drops his gaze. I can tell he's embarrassed. _

_And suddenly, I want to talk to him, to actually have a normal conversation that doesn't involve us antagonizing each other. I want to talk to him like normal teenagers. _

"_Erm…what are you studying?" I ask._

_Cole glances up at me in surprise. He fumbles for a response, caught so off guard at my polite conversation starter. "Um…Transfiguration."_

"_Oh." I chew on my bottom lip. "Potions." I gesture at my notes._

"_Ah."_

_We sit in silence for a minute. I glance down at my watch and see that Demi has been gone fifteen minutes. _

"_I'm sorry about you and Michael." _

_I suddenly snap back to attention._

"_Are you?" I ask._

_I didn't intend for it to be mean, but I think perhaps Cole thinks so, for he drops his gaze and instantly starts twirling his quill around nervously. _

"_Well, thank you," I say hurriedly. "I appreciate that. I, er…I also liked the roses." Oh, for the love of Merlin. Why did I have to mention those roses? Because. The smile on Cole's face is absolutely worth it._

"_Oh. You're welcome." He gives me a timid smile and I shyly return it. "You know…" he begins, but abruptly stops._

"_What?" I ask after a second._

"_Nothing." _

"_What?" I ask again._

"_Forget about it."_

"_No. Really, what?"_

"_I don't want to say."_

_My heart begins to beat wildly. "Why?" I ask him. _

"_Because, you're just going to make fun of me…" He looks absolutely mortified this time._

"_I won't," I insist. _

_Cole mumbles something I don't catch._

"_I didn't hear you," I say in a soft, encouraging voice._

_Cole sucks in a deep breath, glances quickly up at me before dropping his gaze again and says, "I'd never cheat on you." He glances up at me._

_I open and close my mouth a few times and Cole drops his gaze again. I think he takes my silence as yet another refusal. _

_Sucking in a deep breath, I ever-so-slowly slide my hand across the table to where his is sitting. I slide my small hand over his large hand. _

"_I know you wouldn't, Cole," I say softly. It is the first time I have ever called him by his first name. I gave his hand a squeeze. "I'm just…"_

"_I understand," he says. _

_We are silent for a second before I say, "You're not doing that spell right."_

"_Yes I am."_

"_No you're not."_

"_Yes I am!"_

"_No you're not!_

"_Right, like I'd listen to you! You can barely wield a wand properly!"_

"_I swear to Merlin if you bring up that incident one more fucking time!" I threaten in a near yell. _

_So, when our best friends found us again, it was to our usual bickering. Though, they didn't know how half hearted it was at best. I know I was actually thinking Cole's words over in my head seriously. _

OoOoOo

**Month Nine.**

At first Cole didn't seem to mind, liked it even. I think what he liked the most was my new cleavage. He would give any excuse to grab at them. I didn't mind much, it was a relief that he didn't think it was disgusting.

Then the shit hit the pan, or whatever that Muggle phrase is.

As soon as my stomach completely exploded and popped out, Cole backed off completely. He made all types of excuses for not wanting to do it.

Tonight as I got into bed I made sure to snuggle close to him and stroke his chest, trying to get a proper reaction from him. Instead of him coming at me like usual he simply kissed my cheek and rolled over.

I watched the back of his head for over a minute before snapping.

"Cole," I purr, sliding close to him, my giant stomach pressing into his back. "What are you doing?"

"Sleeping," he answers.

"How about we do something different tonight?" I ask, my hand attempting to slide under the waistband of his trousers.

He catches it and gently pushes it away before saying, "Not tonight…Er, I have a headache." The uncomfortable and embarrassed tone in his voice in turn causes me to blush. I repulse him!

"Cole!" I cry.

"Hmm?" He peers at me over his shoulder. "Something the matter?"

"Why won't you touch me?"

He turns to look at me bashfully. "I have touched you."

"Not in over three months!" I fume. "Do you think I'm disgusting or something?"

"Of course not!" He sits up. "Never!"

"Well then why won't you even kiss me?"

"I ki—"

"Not properly," I snap. "You peck at most if I'm lucky."

He frowns and then says softly, "That's our baby in there." He places his hand on my stomach. "We made that baby."

"Yes, and unless you forget, the same thing I am suggesting we do now is how the baby got in there."

"Doesn't it make you feel uncomfortable?" he asks.

"Huh?"

"Having sex when the baby is right there!" He swallows thickly.

"But…the baby doesn't know," I reply.

"I do," he says uncomfortably. "And you're so big…it's just…"

"I'm nine months pregnant," I tell him. "Of course I'm huge!"

"That's another thing!" he says suddenly. "The baby must be coming down from wherever it's been these nine months…What if we jostle it too much? Or give it shaking baby whats-it?" He licks his lips. "Or, and do not laugh, what if we poke it in the head?"

I immediately bite the inside of my cheek to stop a smile from spreading across my lips.

"We won't," I insist.

"Roe…"

"Cole." I say his name firmly and coldly. "I am forty-five pounds over my fat weight. I have what feels like a ten pound baby sitting on my bladder and every other organ down there. I'm always hot. I always have to pee. I'm starving. My ankles and feet are swollen and they ache like nothing else. I have tremendous heartburn and for some reason I am always thirsty. Sex is the one thing that will get our baby out of my body before I reach in and rip it out myself. If you love me at all, even a tiny smidge, you will shag my properly and jumpstart this labor before I go absolutely insane." I grab his shoulders. "I am no longer asking and pleading with you. You, as my husband, have to do this. I am telling you to do this. We took vows and you promised to love me in sickness and in health."

"That doesn't really apply—"

"Cole!"

"Fine! Come here."

Within seconds I have him out of his pants and inching into me so slowly and perfectly that I feel as though I could cry. The stomach does cause some problems, but not any extreme problems. Well, at least for me.

We are at a wonderful pace when I feel the familiar feeling growing inside of me that I missed so dearly. I chant Cole's name over and over, so loud that, with a smirk on his face, he says, "Shh! Neighboring countries can hear you!"

"Shut up! You're ruining…" I mumble distractedly as I arch into him.

"Woah! See?" Cole backs away so quickly that for a moment I do not even realize he is gone.

"What the hell—"

"It punched me! It was clearly telling me to cut it out."

"No, no, no!" I say furiously. "You've felt the baby kick all the time, Cole! Trust me, the baby doesn't care!"

"Can we do it another way…?"

"Like?" I ask.

"Any other way?"

"Fine."

But even as we do it another way I can tell Cole isn't all that comfortable, or enthusiastic. He picked a spot on the ceiling and stared at it.

"Roe…I can't do it this way, either," he says after a few minutes.

"Why? It's my quadruple chin, isn't it?" I moan sadly. "I can't hel—"

"No…you're just…crushing me. Slightly," he says. "You're amazingly gorgeous…but when you rest all your weight on me…"

"Not for anything, Cole, but I was kind of in the middle of something when you stopped me before, and now you're doing it again. As of this point I don't care if I have to stand on my head while you do it from behind. I just want you to shag me properly, like I've shagged you all this time without complaint."

"Huh," he says.

"What? What's that 'huh' supposed to mean?" I ask.

"You complain loads of times," he says. "That's all."

"This isn't the time to be fighting!" I say quickly, hurrying to avoid a fight. "I'm asking you to do me a favor as your wife."

"Okay. Roll back over. Maybe the baby fell asleep."

When I was finished, and I took my damn time, let me tell you, I rolled off the bed and slammed into our itty bitty bathroom. I washed up as much I could without physically getting into the tub, because then I would need Cole's help getting out.

When I open the door it is only to see Cole sitting on the bed, looking directly at me as though waiting for me to come out. I sniff and raise my head before stomping across the room to the vanity.

I, channeling my mother from so far away, grab my wand and begin zapping things clean.

"Are you mad?" Cole asks.

I turn slightly to see him standing against the wall looking at me nervously.

"No. Do I look mad?" I spit.

"Er…yeah," he replies after a seconds pause.

I wheel around. "You better hope this baby is a boy, Cole," I bark. "Because if you're never going to touch me again then you're sure as hell gonna need it to carry on the family name."

"I do want to touch you!" he complains. "You're just…"

"Fat?"

"What if it remembers that I was sticking my thing into your thing? What if it hates us because of it?"

I place a hand on my hip and wait for his stupidity to reveal itself to him. When he raises an eyebrow as though to repeat the question, I say, "You idiot, it can't remember what we were doing. It won't remember anything until at least two years!"

Cole sighs. "Sex induces labor."

"Exactly, which you obviously don't want to do." I wait for him to complain, but he doesn't. "You don't want the baby yet?"

"Are we ready?"

"Yes."

"Are we?"

"Yes."

"Really ready?"

"As ready as any of us can be."

"But how do you know?" He looks desperate.

"I don't know," I say carefully. "My instincts are telling me that the baby is going to be alright. I have to believe that everything is going to be okay. We're going to be great parents."

"We're too young."

"Well, we should have discussed this nine months ago when you said, 'Okay, all set' but seeing as we didn't, we just have to go with the flow. If we weren't meant to have the baby then we wouldn't."

"And you're not scared?"

"I'm petrified! I think what if it hates us or something?"

"Exactly!"

"But then I remember that we're going to be great. The baby won't hate us. It will love us because we will be here for them when they really need us, and so, one day when we're old and senile, it will take care of us in our time of need. I'm not fearless or stupid. I know it is going to be hard and awful for a while, but…I can't wait to meet the baby I've been toting around for nine months. I'm more excited."

I take a deep sigh. "But you're right. Let's wait for me to be induced."

"We don't want to rush the baby…"

"Right." I shrug and give him a small smile.

Cole eyes me for a moment before saying, "If you really want to…then when we can do it again."

My eyes well up with tears. "My ankles are so swollen!"

"I know…I'm sorry. Come on."

We are settling back into bed when Cole asks, "Does this really work?"

"Huh?" I ask, too busy yanking my shirt over my head.

"Sex," he repeats. "Does it make the baby come?"

"Yes," I reply.

"Ok…here goes nothing."

But the baby doesn't come that night, or the next night, or the next night.

The baby doesn't come for an entire week afterwards.

"It's official," I say to Cole as he washes a dish and places it in the drying rack. Cole likes to do things the Muggle way now. Well, some things. Other things he likes to do the magic way.

"What's official?" he asks me.

"The baby hates me."

"Already? Nice job."

"I'm serious."

"Well our child hating you is a serious thing," Cole replies.

"Are you going to listen?"

"Yes."

"He or she won't come out because he or she hates me and wants me to suffer." I nod. "There is no other reason why this baby is literally clinging onto the walls of my uterus."

"Has it ever occurred to you that maybe the baby loves you so much that it wants to stay inside of you for as long as possible?"

"That isn't why."

"Right, because obviously our baby already hates you. That's the more plausible explanation."

"It's more plausible than our baby being so in love with me that it wants to stay in there forever." I am suddenly gripped by a sudden, blinding fear. "Oh no! What if you're right? What if it stays inside of me for years? What if when I finally do give birth it's to a six year old? What if it kills me?"

"They take the baby out of you before it becomes a child, Roe. They won't even let you go past ten months."

"What if they can't get it out of me?" I ask, beginning to sweat. "Then what?"

Cole seems generally stumped. "They will get it out of you."

"If they can't?"

"They will."

"But what if they can't?" I repeat.

"Roe, there is no question of whether they can or can't. They can. They always can."

"What if I'm that rare case that they can't?"

"Well, then, I imagine you'll explode."

I burst into tears, the absolute horror of exploding overwhelming me.

"I don't want to ex-ex-explode!" I sob.

"It was a joke, Roe! No one wants to explode!"

"I hate you! Don't make jokes!"

"Come here," he says holding out his hands.

"No," I sob, shaking my head. "You're me-mean!" I back away from him. "You're supposed to comfort me and all you're doing is making j-j-j-jokes!" The word 'joke' stuck in the back of my throat as another sob came out. "I'd like to see you do this!"

"Oh, Roe, I'm sorry! I'm just trying to get you to lighten up!"

"I have an eight pound baby inside of me! I can't be light," I snarl. I angrily wipe tears from my eyes. "This isn't fair! Demi got her baby two weeks _early_! Here I am, two weeks late."

"Roe, you can't compare yourself to Demi. Everyone is different."

"I know that, Dr. Cole," I snap. I'm still involuntarily sniffling. "I'm just so uncomfortable and you think I'm gross and I just want the baby out of me!"

"I don't think you're gross! I think you're gorgeous!"

"You wouldn't even shag me up until a week ago! I practically had to tie your hands to the headboard to get you to do it."

Cole gives me a look. "Listen, let me draw you a bath."

"No," I say grumpily.

"Please?"

"Oh, alright."

"It'll help relax you."

I give a sniff. "I highly doubt that. I haven't felt relaxed in three months!"

In the past month everything has just gotten so much worse. The baby has dropped, which everyone says is a good sign. It would have been a better sign if it dropped right out into my waiting hands, but whatever.

Plus, my back has been cramping for the past two days and I haven't properly slept in two months.

"Come sit in the bath." Cole is suddenly behind me. He gently leads me up the stairs and helps me into the bath. "I'll be in the office. Call me when you're ready to come out."

"Ok."

I settle into the warm water.

"Roe?"

My eyes snap open and I look around the bathroom blearily. Standing in front of me is Cole. He seems relieved that I've woken up.

"I knew you'd be relaxed," he says.

"How long have I been in here?" I ask. I notice the water has cooled.

"About an hour."

I yawn. "The water is cold."

"Let me help you out."

He helps me stand and then helps me step out of the tub. I instantly begin to shiver and he quickly places a warm, fluffy bath towel around my body.

We are half way back to the bedroom when I feel an awful need to pee. A second later, warm fluid runs down my legs and onto the floor. Cole and I both stop, me from the sensation and he from the sound. We both glance down at it and then back up at each other at the same time.

"I guess I should get back in the tub," I say stupidly.

"No! Roe…Your water broke!"

"Oh. Ok." I think about this. "Let me get dressed."

It isn't until the first contraction hits me that I finally realize that I'm in labor. And, no matter how much I wanted it just two hours ago, I am suddenly gripped with brand new fear.

A/N There you have it. More coming soon. Oh, and in case anyone was wondering, I _do_ know what they're having. **:)**


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N: FYI I am planning both a prequel and a bit of a sequel. I am also toying with the idea of doing maybe an extended one shot from Cole's point of view. Feedback on this would be lovely. I will repost this at the bottom as a reminder. I would really like honest reviews about it so I know whether or not I'm wasting my time. I won't update or post again until I get enough feedback.**

**And I know some of you don't like the flashbacks, and I'm sorry. I want to give enough back story before I end this story. I hope you at least take the time to read them. **

"Just…get comfortable and I'm going to call a Healer."

That is what Cole said to me before hurrying out of the room, down the stairs and into the living room. I immediately tried to do as he said, but nothing felt comfortable. I sat in bed, then I lay down in bed. I tried on both my sides before getting up and sitting against the headboard again. When that didn't work, I got up from the bed and started walking around the room, yet I still felt uncomfortable.

I grabbed a pillow off the bed and threw it on the floor. I then lowered myself to the ground, put my feet up on the wall and scooted down until my butt was touching the wall. Only then did I feel some pressure go away. It seemed the reverse pull of gravity was helping some.

"What are you doing?"

"Hmm?" I ask in between deep intakes and outtakes of air.

"Come up on the bed and get comfortable," Cole says, coming into the room with a few objects in his hands. He dumps them on the bed and then comes to stand over me. "The Healer said to get comfortable and lay in bed."

"I'm comfortable here," I say softly.

"Let me help you up," Cole insists. He crouches down next to me and places his hand on my shoulder. "Roe, come up."

"I'm comfortable," I say in my soft voice. "Let me lie."

"You can't possibly be as comfortable as you would be in the bed, Roe!"

"But I am."

Cole sighs.

"Two Healers are waiting for our call back. Have you decided where exactly you want to have the baby? We can still make it to the hospital."

"No," I say. "Right here, like this, is fine."

"You can't have the baby upside down," Cole says.

"We can try."

"Roe. Be serious. Here or there."

"Here." Cole begins to walk away and I stop him. "Demi and Frank…my parents…family."

"All called," he insists. "Demi and Frank will be here within the hour. Your sister was out, but I'm going to send an owl. James and Alice promised to come. And, of course, our parents are coming."

"Both of our parents?" I ask his retreating back. "Well this is going to be interesting," I mutter to myself.

While Cole is downstairs making arrangements with a Healer, I try and breathe evenly. Not too fast, yet not too slowly. I am also trying to keep a calm, quiet atmosphere for the baby to come into. No need for screaming and yelling.

Cole returns. "My parents are here."

"Great." I let out my breath with a hiss. A contraction ripples through my body and I clench onto my stomach.

"Can you please get into bed?" Cole pleads. "I don't feel comfortable watching you like this." His big eyes are filled with concern. "Please let me help you."

"Okay."

He comes from behind me, crouches down and, linking his arms under my arms, gently pulls me down the wall until I am nearly sitting in his lap. He then slowly stands, pulling me with him. Once I am upright, he leads me to the bed, which he has turned down and straightened out.

"Can I get you anything?" he asks.

"No." I clench my eyes closed and let out a shaky breath.

"What's the matter?"

"Contraction," I murmur. When it is gone I open my eyes again and let him help me into the bed. The comforter is folded down at the bottom. The pillows are all fluffed and puffy. My heads rests against one of them.

"Did you really just have a contraction?" he asks excitedly.

"I've been having contractions," I say.

"Why haven't I known?"

I shrug. "I'm trying to stay quiet."

"Oh."

Both Cole and I turn when we hear voices from downstairs.

"Should I bring people up to see you? Would that be okay?"

I nod hurriedly. "Yes, that's fine," I say.

Cole hurries down the stairs to fetch his parents. I must say the Malfoys were a bit taken aback by the news that we were pregnant. They were happy, of course, simply surprised. Especially Pansy.

"Pregnant?" she had spluttered and then turned to Draco. "I'm only forty-two!"

Draco had given her a look and turned to us with a smile. "Congratulations."

"Oh, of course, congratulations," Pansy said hurriedly. "It's wonderful news." She paused. "I just…oh dear." She then knocked back a bottle of wine. She was happy, though.

My parents accepted the news differently.

"You, two?" is what Mum said with a sigh before breaking into a smile. "Well, the more the merrier I always say." No she doesn't.

She kissed both Cole and I and turned to Dad, who seemed a bit confused.

"Was this planned?" he asked.

"Dad!" I snapped.

"What? I can't ask a simple question?" he asked.

"Yes it was planned."

Both Mum and Dad stopped and turned to us. "Really?" Dad asked.

"Yes."

"_Really_?" Mum said.

"Yes." I glared at them. "Be happy for us."

"We're ecstatic for you, Roe," Mum said, "we just never thought you'd be the baby type."

"What is that supposed to mean?" I snapped.

"You told me you hated children and never wanted them," Dad said. "As I recall at least five times."

"Well, I changed my mind," I retorted huffily. I didn't dare look at Cole. I knew that had been one of his arguments on why not to have a baby. "I love children."

"Then we're delighted for you," Mum said.

I lay in bed now and feel yet another contraction rip through my body. I still manage to keep my mouth shut and not cry out. Maybe this won't be so bad. It can't possibly get much worse than this, could it?

I close my eyes.

OoOoOo

_Mum had taken Elizabeth to Stella's for the day and then she was going out with grandma. That was fine, except it left me alone with my father and brother, which was not fine._

_James seemed in a rather unruly mood and kept picking on me. It only got worse once Dad and I got into a spat._

"_Can I get my ears pierced?" I ask._

"_Absolutely not."_

"_But, Dad!" I cry. _

"_Dad!" James mimicked in a high voice that doesn't even sound like me._

_I wheel around to glare swiftly at James before turning back the hallway where Dad has just left. "Dad!"_

"_Dad!" James mimics again. _

"_Stop it!"_

"_Stop it!" Mimic._

"_Dad, make him stop!"_

"_Dad, make him stop!"_

"_STOP IT!"_

"_STOP IT!"_

_I clench my fists at my side and say through gritted teeth, "Dad, make him STOP!"_

"_Dad, make him—"_

_With a war cry I launched all ninety-two pounds of myself through the air towards James. He turns at my sound and catches me neatly in his arms before he topples over the coffee table and lands with an awkward thud half on the couch half on the floor. _

_I instantly starts hitting him with my bony fists, desperate for him to stop mimicking my. It makes me want to commit a murder. His murder._

"_Stop it, stop it, stop it!"_

_James starts laughing, my punches going almost unnoticed against him. He tries to lift me but I tug hard on his hair. _

"_Ouch!" he cries and slaps my hand._

"_Ow!" I pinch his arm and he returns it. _

_Soon it is a flurry of punches, kicks and pinches on my part, while he tries to push me off of him. James, as being the only boy in a house of sisters, was taught and brought up never to return a hit or a punch, no matter how uncalled for it was. So, as I punch his arm and slap at his head, I can see he is desperately trying to keep from snapping and punching me square in the face. _

"_Get off of me you little troll! OW!" My elbow connects with his ribs. "And eat something! You look like a starving orphan!" _

"_I hate—" My cry is broken off when his hand comes and rests clear over my face. Now all my attention is getting his clammy hand off of my face because I have no idea where it has been. _

"_Haha—Roe!" He snatches his hand away in disgust when I lick it, though I am also disgusted. He wipes his hand on my shirt as I spit over my shoulder. "Gross!"_

"_Speak for yourself!" I cry, running my tongue along my sleeve. The wooly feeling is mountains better than hand sweat and only Merlin knows what else. "And now I have herpes."_

"_Get off of me!"_

_I am now reminded of my task at hand and hit him square in the face with my open palm. His eyes cloud over angrily as I see his self control working wonders. As much as I know he would simply love to, he doesn't have it in him to actually hit me back. I bet right now he wishes I was a brother and not a sister. _

_He pushes me and I almost stumble back but manage to get one kick in, which just so happens to land right on his crotch. I immediately wince as his face gets really red. _

"_Okay, children…" I am suddenly hoisted into the air by the back of my pants like a two year old and then an arm comes around my waist to hold me more firmly. "What are you two doing to each other in here?"_

"_He was mimicking me!" I wail, pointing at James accusingly. I know I'm going to end up being in more trouble for all the hitting and kicking and ball crushing. It is so unfair! _

"_She kicked me in the balls!" James bellows furiously._

"_Roe!" I am put down to face Dad. He is in turn standing, quite calmly, folding his arms and waiting for me with a patient face. "Did you kick him in the balls?"_

"_I didn't mean to," I say quickly. "He pushed me off of him."_

"_After she launched herself across the room at me like a flying monkey," James snaps as he gets to his feet unsteadily. He gives me a death glare and I know I've crossed the line. I think this will be the first time James hits me back. _

"_Apologize, Roe."_

_I turn to my dad in outrage. "He started it!"_

"_Apologize."_

"_But, it wasn't my fault!"_

"_Just apologize!"_

"_But—"_

"_Rosemary Potter I am telling you to apologize to your brother." Dad's suddenly firm voice causes me to wince. "Do it."_

_I turn back to James. "Sorry I hit you in your barely there balls."_

_James lunges forward and I think perhaps he'll get a hit in, but Dad suddenly pushes me through the doorway of the kitchen and blocks the entrance with his body. He places a firm hand on James's chest. _

"_Okay, then, time for a break. Go play outside, Roe."_

_Again, I give Dad a look of outrage. "I'm thirteen years old!"_

"_Just, go, Roe."_

_Dad has led James to the couch by this time and turns back to me with wary eyes. James gives me a satisfied smirk and sticks his tongue out at me. I try to tell Dad, but he moves his hands forward and lets me know I am to follow him into the kitchen. I do so and give him an equally wary look. _

"_Go play outside, Roe, and let James cool down."_

"_What am I supposed to do outside?" I ask._

"_Erm…here, play with this."_

_He places a big, shiny green apple in my hand. I stare down at it and then back up at him with a slightly confused expression upon my furrowed brows._

"_This…This is an apple, Dad."_

"_Play catch."_

"_With who?"_

_Dad starts pushing me towards the door. He opens it and pushes me into the hot summer sunlight. _

"_You can't just push me outside with an apple! I'm not a horse."_

"_Stay outside for one hour. Er…that is your punishment." Dad closes the door and locks it as I let out a string of curses he pretends he doesn't hear. I bang on the door, but he gives me a stern look and shoos me away. _

"_But it's hot out!" I cry. "And I'm thirsty!"_

_I turn around and glance around our backyard. What am I supposed to do outside for one whole hour? I head towards the shed, wondering briefly if Dad forgot to lock it. I pull at the doors, ignoring the Muggle lock around the two handles. When that proves to be no use, I wheel around and glare up at the house. _

_I slink around the back of the house and over towards my window. I see my open window and desperately want to be inside. A bug zooms by my head, an annoying buzzing fills my ear and I give a wail of discomfort. _

_With an angry sigh I place a foot on the odd little trellis Mum bought a while back. It holds my foot enough and I experimentally begin to climb it. With victory soaring in my stomach, I make my way to the slanted roof and hoist myself up. I then clumsily tumble into my bedroom, still careful not to make much noise against the floor. I then write a note to Demi to tell her I'm being kept outside like a dog with fleas. _

_For fifteen minutes I stay up in my room doodling on paper, and doing a bit of homework. Not too much, though. Merlin forbid I live up to any expectations. _

_It is then that I hear, from outside, "Roe? Roe?"_

_My stomach plummets onto the floor. I had forty-five more minutes before the earliest time he would come looking for me! Fuck almighty, I should have known he'd cave in and feel bad! I stick my head out of the window and see Dad walking down towards the lake. Maybe I can manage my way out of the bedroom and down the roof and then down the trellis and onto the grass before he realizes I'm not outside. _

_I climb through the window and onto the roof. I make the mistake of glancing over it to see how far down the drop is. It's pretty far…and it looks like it will definitely hurt if I fall…Oh, dear. _

_I sit down on the hot roofing and nearly cry out as it burns my bare legs. Son of a mother fucker! I bellow furiously inside my head as I turn onto my stomach. I slide down until my feet are hanging off. I then try to swing them against the house so that I can place my foot against something to climb down._

_I am hanging from the roof by just my hands by now, contemplating on whether I should just drop or call for help, when there is a tap on my shoulder. I turn slightly to see two feet dangling off a broom._

"_What are you doing?"_

"_Oh, er, hi, Dad. Just…hanging out."_

_Dad grabs me around the middle of my stomach and scoots down so I can sit on the broom with him. We then land as gracefully as he can manage. _

"_Stay," he barks at me as he goes to put the broom back in its rightful place. I simmer even further on the lawn as I wait for him to return. When he does so, he doesn't begin screaming, like I expect. Instead he says, in a tense voice, "In."_

_When Dad gets really furious, as I suspect he is now, he ceases to speak in complete sentences. Instead it is always: Stop. No. In. Out. Sit. Stand. Come. Stay. _

_He points to the kitchen chair and I sit down, anticipating his next move. I've never really, really been screamed at by Dad. None of us has. James and I have come pretty close, but I am now fearing I am about to get a verbal lashing. _

"_You realize I'm upset, right?" he asks me._

"_Yes," I say in a low voice. _

"_You know why I'm upset, right?"_

"_Yes," I say. _

"_You know what you were doing was wrong, don't you?"_

"_Yes, Daddy."_

"_You understand that climbing on and off the roof like that means you up your chances of slipping and falling and dying."_

"_Yes."_

"_You understand you could have fallen and died and your mother would have been very upset with me, right?"_

"_Yes."_

"_You understand that I don't want you to die."_

"_Yes."_

"_You also understand that you are not to attack your brother and kick him in his man parts no matter how much he antagonizes you. If he can't hit back then it isn't a fair fight."_

"_Okay."_

"_Good." Dad seems a bit put out that this went completely his way without any fighting on my part. "Well, then…We don't mention this to your mother."_

"_Okay!" I can't help the excitement and grin that fills my voice and face. Gosh, I for sure was going to be grounded if Mum found out. _

_In our house Mum is bad cop and Dad is good cop. Very rarely do the roles ever get reversed, which is a good thing. Because it ends up being mean, scary, absolutely beside himself with rage bad cap along with Mum's bad cop against one of us. Mum doesn't do good cop. She only has one mood: bad cop. _

"_I'm not grounded?" I ask, delighted._

"_No." Dad gives me a firm look and my smile slips off my face and I shrink back against the chair. "But heed my words Rosemary."_

_I cringe at the use of my name and nod dolefully. _

"_Okay, then. Go…keep yourself occupied. And don't make any more trouble."_

_I walk through the hall towards the stairs and pass a still livid looking James. I keep walking, confident he wouldn't do anything to me. I nearly jump out of my skin when I feel his hand on my back._

"_What are you doing?" I cry, wheeling around._

_James is giving me an odd look. "I was going to snap your bra," he says._

_I blush. "Oh." I turn to keep walking._

"_It's two o'clock in the afternoon," he says as I keep walking. "Why aren't you wearing one?"_

"_None of your business!" I snap._

_Suddenly James is in front of me looking absolutely delighted. "Do you not need one yet?" he asks me, an eyebrow raised. _

_I feel my face heat up even further and try to ignore his words. It really isn't any of his business if I need a bra or not. He has eyes. _

"_Shut up."_

_This, however, just seems to delight him further. "What's the matter, Roe? Touchy? Sensitive?"_

_I glower over at him. "No."_

"_Though, it probably is a good thing. You wouldn't wear shoes if you didn't have feet, would you?"_

"_You wear a cup when you play Quidditch, don't you?"_

"_Hey! Do I hear bickering?" Dad asks from the kitchen. I hear him rustle the newspaper. "Stop it, Roe!"_

"_He started it!" I wail._

"_He started it!" James mimics. _

"_Dad!" _

"_Dad!" James mimics._

"_Ugh!" I cry. _

_Well, the gist of the story is, I punched James in the nose, broke it, got screamed at for forty-five minutes until my Mum came home with Elizabeth. That is when literal hell broke loose. Mum went ballistic and threatened all sorts of bodily harm that I was kind of interested in seeing how it would happen. I got grounded for the rest of the summer and James got to smirk at me the entire time. _

OoOoOo

"Hello, Roe, how are you darling?" Mrs. Malfoy hurries into the room with a big bunch of flowers in her hands. "I brought you these to put a little color into the room. It's also nice to have some fragrance." She also hopes we'll name the baby after a plant.

"Thank you, Pansy," I say with a gracious smile. "They're gorgeous."

"Yes, well…" She eyes the bouquet. "I've got a little bit of everything in here. Roses, violets, lilies, lavender, _pansies_." She smiles. "Everything."

I keep smiling. "Thank you."

"Cole tells me you aren't speaking during your birth."

"I'm speaking," I say. "I just haven't been screaming."

"Are you sure you're in labor?"

"Quite."

"Well, when I was giving birth to Cole it felt as though he were trying to drag my uterus out with him. It was a rather gross birth, come to think of it. Draco nearly fainted."

"Oh." I cringe. "That's nice."

"I'm sure yours will be fine."

"Hey, is everything all right?" Cole comes back in. "Are you still in a lot of pain? No noise yet?" He gives me a grin.

"Nope. No noise."

I managed to stay rather quiet until about fourteen hours in. It was at that point that it felt as though my uterus was about to explode. I finally cried out when it felt nearly unbearable. Cole looked rather relieved that I was making noise at all.

He had been almost sulking the corner for a while before I asked him what the problem was. He informed me that I was leaving him out of the process. When I asked him if he wanted to contract for a bit and give me a break, he got even more offended. He insisted that I let him pamper me and help me and basically just hover over me asking stupid questions. So, I let him.

"Does that hurt?"

"Can I get you anything?"

"Are you having a contraction?"

"What does that feel like?"  
"Do you want some lemonade?"

"Do you want another pillow?"

"How much longer do you think?"

"Did you know you've been in labor for eleven hours?"

"It can't hurt that but if you haven't made much noise, right?"

"Smile!"

Alright, that last one wasn't a question, but when he whipped out the camera to take my picture I very nearly lost it. I had to turn to the side to keep my emotions in check. This is Cole, you love Cole. You are having Cole's baby. He is excited.

It was fourteen hours into the labor when I finally let out a scream, and continued to scream for the next two hours.

My parents finally showed up. Mum came running into the room and burst into tears as soon as she saw me.

"Are you alright? Are you hurting? Want me to rub your back? Can I get you anything? Oh, dear, are you sure you're alright?"

"I'm fine, Mum," I assured her.

Now our parents are awkwardly hovering on the other side of the room. I guess I've neglected to say just _how_ awkward it can get between the four of them. Very.

Our fathers do not speak to one another unless it is in very clipped, quick tones. They don't ask questions of one another and seem content on just standing there saying nothing. Our mothers do not help matters.

I mean, alright, I know they all weren't the best of mates back in school, but who really is, you know? And yes, I know that Draco was on the other side of the War for much of it and he didn't really flip back onto our side until near the end, but still. This was their grandchild coming into the world. Whether they liked it or not, they would have to share it.

Mum seems to understand at least that much. She knows that the Malfoys are dead excited for this baby. Especially after I told her that they are only children themselves with an only child. They will have no other grandchildren. They rely on Cole alone to provide them with babies. And, seeing as Cole picked me to be the person he wants to spend eternity with, I will be the one to have his babies. Thus, my parents will be a packaged deal. She gets that, for which I am grateful.

I clench onto the sheets and fist them furiously as I make my first noise of the evening.

"Oh, my—Ouch!" I finally scream. "Ow!"

Cole seemed delighted by this outburst and quickly comes to me. "Where does it hurt?"

"My uterus," I say through clenched teeth. "Where is Demi?"

Cole shrugs nervously. "They said they were on their way an hour ago."

"They were supposed to be here fifteen hours ago! What's keeping them?"

"They are trying to find Francis a sitter, Roe."

"He's a blob! Put him on the floor and I bet he'll stay there."

"Wonderful words from an impending mother."

"Shut up, you!" I snap at him. "Stop making jokes. No one thinks you're funny."

"Your brother thinks I'm funny."

"I don't."

Speaking of my brother…He has a newborn baby as well, and he managed to show right up with Alice. They had their own son, James, a few months back. And, like I expected, James is a rather laid back father. He even joked that if we ever needed to, we could use baby James as a quaffle. Alice wasn't amused.

"Listen, Roe…Try and rest your eyes," Cole suggests. "I'll owl them again."

I exhale loudly. "Okay."

OoOoOo

_Mum and Dad left to celebrate their nineteenth wedding anniversary. Mum insisted she simply couldn't wait for her twentieth and that they should go away for this year, not next year. Even though everyone knows Mum will convince Dad to go away next year as well. He is such a pushover when it comes to her. All she ever has to do is ask. _

_James and Elizabeth managed to convince Mum and Dad that we didn't need to go to Aunt Hermione's and Uncle Ron's. We could stay here on our own. _

"_Mum! I'm eighteen years old!" Elizabeth cried. "Why don't you trust me?"_

"_I trust you!" Mum interjected immediately. _

"_Please don't send us away or ask anyone here. James and I are legally adults! We don't need anyone watching over every move."_

_James did. _

"_Well…" Mum turned to Dad cautiously. They started murmuring in low voices like we couldn't hear them. "I guess it would be alright…It'll only be for three days."_

_Dad eyed us each in turn, lingering more on James and I than Elizabeth. He turned back to Mum. "Fine."_

"_Fine." Mum gave us each a look. "But so help me Merlin if one thing goes wrong…"_

"_It won't!" We all said together._

"_I don't even want the fire alarm to go off!"_

"_Okay." We all said in unison. _

"_Fine."_

_They left this morning. _

_James had a girl here fifteen minutes after they left. They were currently up in his room doing things I would not like to think about. Every once in a while there will be an odd thump from above my head. _

"_What is he doing to that poor girl?" Elizabeth mutters to herself, glancing up from her homework. There are weird, keening noises coming from his date. There is suddenly a crash. "You don't think they're fighting, do you?"_

_I shrug. "Maybe that's what they like. Violent sex." I think about it. "I don't like that."_

_Elizabeth is suddenly so alert and her eyes are so wide that I shrink back against the couch. _

"_What?" I ask._

"_You and Michael…you've had sex, then?"_

"_What?" I cry. "Oh, God, no! No! Not at all. Not even close!"_

"_Oh." Her body slumps with relaxation. "Good." She seems literally bogged down with relief and I am a bit puzzled._

"_Why would you care?"_

"_Because!" She seems startled. "You're my baby sister, Roe! And you are way too young to be thinking about sex."_

_I don't tell her about the sex dreams. I also don't tell her about how all I ever seem to think about is Cole Malfoy's penis inside of me. Best to keep these things to myself. _

"_I don't want to have sex now."_

"_Well, good."_

"_Merlin, you sound like Dad."_

_Having Dad ask me if I was having sex was one of the worst things to ever happen to me in my entire life. It was so out of the blue, and so random that I was literally shocked to my core._

_It was just the two of us in the house. Elizabeth had dashed out of the house early in the morning, saying she was meeting Stella for a day at the beach. James was who the hell cares where, and Mum was with grandma. I was busy doing some of my Transfiguration homework and Dad was doing his report. We were in an easy, comfortable silence when an owl suddenly flitted into the window. _

_Dad took the letter, glanced down at it and handed it to me. "From Michael," he said. _

_I glanced down at it and read it. "Oh." I sighed angrily and folded it back up. "He has to cancel our date for this afternoon."_

"_I'm sorry."_

"_Something came up."_

_Something had been coming up for about two months every time I wanted to see him. Ever since his Coming Out Ball he had been so distant from me, so unwilling to make the effort to see me. _

"_Where were you two going?"_

"_Just to his house," I said._

"_Were his parents going to be there?"_

_I shrugged. "I don't know."_

"_Are his parents always there?"_

_I shrugged again. "They are sometimes."_

"_So sometimes you are alone in his house without his parents?"_

"_Like once or twice. Why?"_

"_No reason." Dad immediately went back to his report. _

_I went back to my homework and was almost done when Dad tapped my hand._

"_Yeah?"_

"_You know about protection, right?"_

"_From?"_

_Dad seemed to struggle for a bit. "Erm…semen."_

_I had to shake my head a bit to really understand what it was that just came out of his mouth. I blinked rapidly. _

"_Please tell me you're talking about men out at sea!"_

"_Roe."_

"_DAD!" I cried angrily. _

"_Well, I'm sorry! I didn't know how else to ask!"_

"_Ask what?"_

"_Are you…Are you and Michael having…Are you two doing…?"_

"_Oh my God. Oh no."_

"_Are you two having sex?"_

"_This isn't happening."_

"_Please don't make this embarrassing, Rosemary."_

"_Fine. You go back in time and make this conversation never happen!"_

"_Listen, just answer me honestly. I won't be angry and I won't even tell your mother if that's what you want. Because if you are, which I promise I won't be mad about, you need to be careful."_

"_Stop talking!"_

"_Roe."_

"_Aw, Merlin, Dad!"_

_He looked at me desperately. "I just want you to feel like you can trust me."_

"_I can trust you. I do trust you."_

"_I want you to confide in me."_

"_I do confide in you," I said. "But I don't confide in anyone about this kind of stuff."_

_Dad exhaled. "So you are."_

"_What? No! No!"_

"_So you're not, then?"_

"_No! Of course I'm not, Dad! I'm only sixteen!"_

_Dad looked so utterly relieved that even though I was furious at him, I could have simply kissed him. He gave me a smile._

"_And I'm not planning on it," I said, elaborating. "Not for a very long time. And especially not with Michael."_

_Dad positively beamed. _

_Elizabeth, though, was now scowling. _

"_I just love you, Roe. I don't want you to get hurt."_

OoOoOo

When I woke up my room was filled to the brim with people. There were my parents, his parents, my brother, his wife, his baby. Then there was my sister Elizabeth, Michael and Violet. Demi and Frank and Francis were in the other corner. There were three Healers looking over papers and muttering to themselves. And everyone was staring right at me.

"What?" I ask.

"You're nine centimeters," one Healer says. "I expect you'll be pushing in about an hour."

"Oh."

Cole and I sit and talk softly and I, though birth is impending, I feel fine now.

But fifteen minutes later I start feeling pressure. Way too much pressure for my liking.

"Cole, I don't know what's happening."

I made everyone except Cole get out of my room. I did not want anyone near me when they spread my legs, except Cole of course. Heaven knows he's seen me in that position hundreds of times.

"What's the matter?" he asks hurriedly.

"I feel pressure."

"She feels pressure," Cole tells the Healer.

She came around and then, without really asking, stuck her fingers down there to examine me. That was another thing no one ever bothered to mention to me: prepare to lose your humility. Because trust me, more people have seen my vagina today, than in my entire life.

"She's ready to push," the Healer says.

"I'm ready to push?" I splutter. "But I had an hour!"

They do not listen as they get me into position.

OoOoOo

"_Where do babies come from, Daddy?"_

_We were sitting eating dinner when the question suddenly popped in my head. I admit now that I was terribly naïve as a child. There were no aunts and uncles having babies after me, I had been the last. And my only friend was Demi, and she was an only child. I had never thought to ask that question until that night._

_Thinking back to it now, perhaps I knew that asking my father would deliver the best results. I can clearly remember how he had paused, his fork hovering from his mouth to gape at me. _

"_Daddy?"_

"_Harry, she asked you a question," Mum said, nudging Dad when he still didn't answer me. He turned to her desperately and she gave him a look. _

"_You tell her," he murmured. _

"_What did we agree?" Mum snapped, her smile still upon her face and her eyes locked on Dad's. Her tone was imploring. "Whoever she asked was going to be the one who was going to tell. I told Elizabeth and James."_

_Dad sighed and turned back to me, my brow was furrowed. I briefly wondered if I had done something wrong. I didn't know why they were acting as though it was such a bad thing. _

"_Well, you see," Dad said. He cleared his throat and then adjusted his tie. He hadn't quite gotten undressed from work before dinner started. "When a man and a woman love each other very much, they get together and have a baby." He seemed pleased with that answer. _

"_How?" I asked. _

_Again, Dad gaped at me. _

"_Hmm?"_

"_How do they have a baby?"_

_And again, Dad turned to Mum with a desperate look. She gave him a rather stern look and he immediately turned back to me. Even at the ripe age of eight, nine next month, I could see that he was quite flustered and red in the face. _

"_Well, they…er…" Dad took a deep gulp of his drink before he said, "The Daddy plants a seed inside of the Mommy."_

"_Oh." I contemplated this and Dad looked quite relieved. "How does he get the seed inside of the Mommy?"_

"_He sticks his penis inside of her vagina." James, who had remained quiet while Dad bulldozed his way through an explanation, suddenly spoke out as my eyes widened in horror. _

"_James!" Mum and Dad both cried. _

"_What?" James replied. "It's the truth."_

_I was now seriously thinking this over in my head._

"_Gross!" I cried. "That's how you make a baby?" A sudden thought gripped me and I whipped around to glare at Dad. "You did that to Mum?"_

"_Oh my God," Mum muttered, turning bright red. _

_Dad seemed utterly horrified at my accusation. He gave Mum a fleeting, I-told-you-so look. Mum glared at him with narrowed eyes before she turned back to me. _

"_Well, Roe," she started, "that's how the Daddy plants the seed in the Mommy."_

"_You let him do that to you?" I snapped at her. I was offended for her. "Do you actually like that?" _

_Mum turned even redder and looked as though she wanted the Earth to open up and swallow her whole. The table waited for her reply._

"_That's how the baby gets in there, Roe," Elizabeth offered when Mum simply started at me, wide-eyed and silent. "It's called sex."_

"_Elizabeth!" Mum and Dad cried. _

"_Well it is!" Elizabeth said. _

"_How do you know that word?" Dad snapped._

"_Stella's mum told me all about it when she had Stella's baby brother last fall." Elizabeth glowered at them. "And I'm not stupid."_

_Apparently I should have just asked Elizabeth. _

"_Her Mum also said it's a natural thing to happen between two people who are in love," Elizabeth continued. _

"_Well I never want to do it," I snapped. I folded my arms in a huff. "I think it sounds absolutely disgusting."_

_Dad looked relieved._

"_Also—"_

"_Alright, everyone's dismissed!" Mum snapped. "Out, out, out!" _

_We all got up and filed out. I chanced one glance over my shoulder to see Mum with her elbows on the table, head in her hands while Dad was slumped down in his chair looking defeated. And I felt the inkling of a smile come onto my face._

OoOoOo

And so I start to push. I can feel everything. It is the weirdest feeling in the entire world, and I feel so lucky to be experiencing it.

"I see the head," a Healer says with a smile.

"Really?" I ask.

Cole hurries to the other side to look at it. His eyes bug out and he gives me a rather stunned look.

"Roe, how on Earth are you doing this?" he asks.

"Why?" I grunt.

"The head is huge."

"Don't tell me that!" I cry.

"But it's so…I mean it's unbelievable!"

"Shoulders are out. One more big push!"

"Cole!" I extend my hand and he instantly comes back up to my side and holds my hand tightly.

"Almost there, Roe," he says encouragingly in my ear. "You're almost there. Just one more push and it'll be out."

"Okay." I suck in a deep breath and then I push one last time. The pain is almost unbearable and my only thought is not to experience the magic of birth, but to get that baby the fuck out of me.

And as I feel the last seconds of my pregnancy expel out of my body I think briefly about how much I'll miss it.

OoOoOo

_When I was seven years old I walked in on my parents having sex. _

_I had a nightmare, which Elizabeth completely slept through. I was so frightened by it that I didn't really want Elizabeth's comfort, I wanted my mother's. _

_So, I threw the covers off of me and hurried out of my room and down the hall. I didn't even think to knock, for I figured my parents were fast asleep. I expected to see my parents fast asleep. _

_What I didn't expect to see was my mother looking as though she were sitting upright in the bed. I stopped, and before I could call out her name, she seemed to move a bit and I heard an odd noise come from the both of them. It didn't look like Mum had a shirt on._

"_What are you doing?" _

_Mum whipped her head around and then suddenly Dad sat up and they both stared at me for a split second before they reacted. Mum jumped off of Dad, taking the sheet with her. He scrambled off the bed and hurried into the bathroom. _

"_What's the matter, Roe?" Mum came to me and bent down to peer at me with warm, concerned eyes. She smoothed back my hair and her eyes raked over my body, searching for fresh wounds or cuts. "Are you hurt? Did you have a nightmare?"_

_I nodded weakly. "I had a nightmare," I said. _

_Mum nodded along with me and kissed the top of my head. "About what?"_

"_I don't remember," I said. _

_Dad came out of the bathroom at this time. He had on a pair of shorts as he reached for his glasses and put them on._

"_Everything alright?" he asked._

"_Just a nightmare," Mum said. They exchanged a look. "Come on, Roe; let's get you back to bed."_

_She walked me down the hall and into my shared bedroom. The sheet around her made a swishy sound as we walked. She tucked me in and smoothed down my hair again before she kissed my forehead. _

"_Think only happy thoughts. There's nothing that wants to hurt you," she said in her soft, soothing voice. It instantly put me at ease. _

"_What were you two doing?" I asked sleepily. _

"_Um, your father and I were…playing a game."_

"_A game? What kind of game?"_

"_A special game that only married people play."_

"_You have to be naked for this game?"_

"_Yes…well, no. Sometimes. Not always…usually, though. That's why only married people play this game."_

"_Why?" _

"_Because, this game is very special and when you finally do play this game, you should be married…and older. Decades older, for Daddy's sake."_

"_Oh. Okay."_

"_Goodnight, my darling Roe," she whispered and kissed me one more time. She got to her feet, hand clenched firmly around her sheet, and went to Elizabeth's bed. She pulled the blanket up around her chin and then kissed her head as well. She then turned off the light, gave me one last smile, and closed the door over._

_When I asked Demi about "the game" the next morning while she was over, she giggled. _

"_What?" I asked._

"_My parents play that game, too."_

"_They do?" I asked._

"_All the time!" she assured me._

_It made me feel somewhat better, like my parents weren't freaks or something._

OoOoOo

"It's a boy!"

I let out the deep breath I didn't know I had been holding and collapse back against the pillows as there is a sudden onslaught of noise. I close my eyes briefly as I wait and wait. I open my eyes, probably in fear, but then I stop.

He starts crying.

The moment I heard that awful, desperate crying coming from the baby, _my_ baby, I knew I would never hear anything so absolutely beautiful in my entire life.

Cole is smoothing down my hair and smiling and jumping around and whooping for joy. He kisses me on the mouth and then goes to look at the baby before reporting back to me.

"Ten fingers and toes. And a penis! He's got a penis!" He raises his hands above his head in victory. "He's gorgeous, Roe! Oh my God, you should see him. And he's big."

"Nine pounds, twelve ounces," the Healer says.

Cole whirls around to give me a look of complete awe before turning back to the baby that is being cleaned and wrapped in a diaper.

"Is he okay?" I croak, asking Cole.

"Yes! He's more than okay." Cole comes to me and kisses me enthusiastically. His mouth seems to be permanently fixed in a smile. "He's…Oh, Merlin, he's _perfect_, Roe! I'm so proud of you!"

I laugh, though I am exhausted.

"Here you go, Mrs. Malfoy."

The Healer hands him to me. He is a big baby, though I already knew that. He has stopped crying now, but he is terribly alert. As soon as I look into his eyes I feel all the air knock out of my lungs. He is staring at me so intently, and then he gives a small sigh as though to say, "Well, here I am."

The Healers have cleaned him for us. I thought I would have minded the blood and the gunk, but all that seems to matter is him. He is resting against my chest and looking up at me.

"Cole," I say, turning to him. "Oh my God, Cole."

Cole kneels down next to the bed and is now face to face with the baby. The baby's face is turned right to Cole and Cole inches forward and pressed his nose against the baby's nose.

"Does he have a name?" the Healer asks.

Cole and I glance at each other. We finally decided on Cole's name, Atticus.

"Yes, Att—"

"August," Cole interrupts me.

I give him a bewildered look. "But I thought—"

"No. I want to name him August." He smiles at me and then kisses me. "He is such an August."

I turn to the Healer. "His name is August Cole Malfoy." I smile at Cole and then kiss Cole's nose. I hold the back of the August's head and tilt him up to look at us. "Your nose," I comment.

"Your hair."

"Whose eyes are those?"

Even in the very early stages of his life, they were light. Cole and I both had dark eyes. In my opinion, they seemed to be turning a silver color, like all the other men in the Malfoy family. Except Cole of course. He was the spitting image of his father with a few color changes. Brown hair instead of white-blonde, blue eyes instead of silver.

I place August back against my chest and let out another sigh. The baby is now looking at Cole with serious, drooping eyes.

"Shall I go get your family?"

I give a tired nod and stroke the peach fuzz on the baby's head.

OoOoOo

_I slept over Demi's the night before. Her parents had gone to her grandmother's on an overnight visit. They allowed her to stay home by herself only if I stayed with her. My parents agreed, as long as I agreed not to invite Michael over. I agreed. _

_Demi's parents obviously didn't think to make Demi promise the same thing about Frank, though, because he was there when I got there. _

"_What are you guys doing?" I asked.  
"Sipping firewhiskey. Do you want some?" Demi asked._

_The rest of the night passed by in a hazy blur until there was only black._

_It didn't even occur to me that Demi might have had an ulterior motive. _

_When I woke up in the morning it was to a searing headache. I grabbed at my head and sat up to look blearily around the room. It felt like there was fur on my tongue._

_I turned to see that I had been fast asleep in the living room._

"_Demi?" I stood up on uneven feet and inched forward towards the kitchen. I could barely make out Demi's head from her sitting position at the table._

"_Yeah?" She turned around and smiled broadly when she saw me. "Have some of this. It takes the bite away."_

_I instantly took the cup from her downed it in one large gulp. A moment later my head started to clear._

"_Do me a favor," I said._

"_Hmm?"_

"_Never tell me what was in that."_

"_Okay." She laughed._

"_Where's Frank?"_

_A weird look came on her face and she said, "Home."_

"_What's that look?" I asked. _

"_What look?"_

"_That look."_

_She shrugged. A small, shy smile came on her lips. "I don't know what you mean."_

"_Demi…"_

_She gave me a look. "Oh, alright, but don't tell Frank I told you."_

"_Told me what?" I demanded. _

"_Frank and I did it last night," she informed me._

_It took a full minute to sink in. "What?" I cried. I sat down hard on the kitchen chair next to her. She had my full attention._

"_Shh!" She glared at me. "Don't be a spazz."_

"_You had sex?" I hissed at her. "Last night?"_

_She nodded with a smile. "Yup."_

"_While I was here?"_

"_We waited until after you passed out, Roe."_

"_Well, thanks a lot," I snapped sarcastically. _

"_Why are you mad?"_

"_Why didn't you tell me you were planning on shagging Frank?"_

"_I didn't know I was going to until we actually started doing it." She got a dreamy look on her face. _

"_Tell me everything," I demanded. _

"_What do you want to know?"_

"_Did it hurt?"_

"_Like hell."_

"_Um…I don't know what to ask. Just give me a full play by play."_

"_Okay." She took a sip of orange juice. "We started our usual kissing and then I kind of just let my hand drift further south."_

"_And…?" I said when she stopped talking. _

"_Jeez, Roe! And I cupped him and told him that I was ready when he was ready. And…well, you know Frank."_

"_He was ready," I said for her._

"_Yes. He asked me if I was ready tonight. I said that I was and we…did it."_

"_Where?" _

"_My bedroom."_

"_And it really hurts?" I asked again._

_She nodded with a sympathetic smile. "But…I don't know…I liked it."_

"_Like what parts? Ooh! Was it messy? How long does it last?"_

"_It was very messy, my favorite sheets will have to be thrown out. It lasted about…Three minutes tops. And my favorite part…" She suddenly broke into a wide grin. "His face."_

"_What about his face?"_

"_No, it's too embarrassing."_

"_Demi, it's me!"_

"_Okay, but so help me Roe. If you ever repeat what I am telling you to anyone else on Earth I will kill you."_

"_Cross my heart," I said. _

"_My favorite part was the look on his face when he…" She sucked in a deep breath. "Came."_

"_Oh, gross!"_

"_It wasn't," she said. "It was adorable and infatuating all at once. I completely forgot that I was very uncomfortable and that his hand was holding down my hair making it feel as though I were pinned down to the bed. I completely forgot that I wasn't anywhere near close to what he was feeling or that it happened way too fast for my liking. Because his face was just…perfect. Blissful."_

"_You didn't…finish?"_

"_Nope." She shook her head. "He had a little trouble finding the right spot. He also…"_

"_What?" How could this possibly get more awkward?_

"_You and Michael have never done anything to bring about an orgasm, right?"_

_I shook my head no._

"_Oh."_

"_Why?"_

"_Well…he…He yelled out bull's-eye when he came."_

"_Bull's-eye?"_

_She nodded. "Yeah. Is that weird?"_

"_I don't know…Did he think there was a dart board inside of your vagina?"_

_She snorted._

_The fireplace suddenly erupted in emerald green and Frank stepped out. He wiped soot off of his shirt and glanced up at us._

"_Demi—Oh, hey, Roe—Demi, I think I left my watch here. I can't find it at my house."_

"_Okay, I'll go look for it upstairs, you check down here." She placed her cup down, gave him a really wide, content smile, and headed up the stairs._

_As soon as the silence settled in around us I felt a wild urge to burst into laughter. As I watched Frank look under pillows on the couch I kept thinking back to what Demi said. _

"_Hey, Roe, have you seen my—What?"_

"_Huh?"_

"_Why are you looking at me like that?"_

"_Like what?"_

"_Weird."_

_I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from smiling as I shrugged. "I don't know what you're talking about," I said gruffly. I shrugged and raised my eyebrows at him. _

_He narrowed his eyes at me and promptly went back to looking around the living room. _

"_Oh, here. Found it."_

"_Bull's-eye!" I said before I could stop myself. I instantly snapped my mouth shut and looked at him wide eyed._

"_Wh…What did you say?"_

"_Me? Nothing."_

"_You said—"_

"_Boise. You know. Boise…Ida…What is that state called in America? Oh, yes, Idaho." I started giggling wildly. "Idaho? No, you da hoe! Get it?"_

"_Frank it isn't up here." Demi came back down the stairs and stopped short when she saw me with my hand firmly over my mouth while Frank seemed rooted to the spot. He was all red in the face. "What's going on?"_

"_Nothing." I suppressed a snort._

_Demi gave me an absolute death glare. _

"_Well…erm…I'm going to get going. We're going into London for the day, my family is." Frank kept his eyes firmly planted on the ground._

"_Right, you told me," Demi said. She gave him a desperate, I'm-sorry look._

"_Okay…Bye." He gave Demi a peck on the cheek. He turned towards me and blushed even redder before getting into the fireplace and going home._

"_I'm sorry, Demi, it slipped," I said immediately._

"_What slipped?" she asked angrily. I hung my head. "What did you say? Oh, Roe, please tell me you didn't happen to mention what I told you about what he said? Roe? Roe!"_

"_Bull's-eye," I said mournfully._

"_Oh, no!" she cried._

"_I'm sorry, Demi!"_

"_You are so thoughtless! He must be humiliated!"_

"_Well, ya! He said bull's-eye when he came."_

"_You don't need to bring it up, Roe!"_

"_It slipped, Demi!"_

"_I am so angry at you!"_

"_All I can say is I'm sorry!"_

"_I keep all of your secrets, Roe!"_

"_You do not!"_

"_Excuse me?"_

"_You told Frank when I got my period!"_

"_You started bleeding all over the library chairs! I didn't need to give him actual confirmation. He has two sisters. He knew what was going on and we were fourteen!"_

"_You told him about my cut outs of male body parts!"_

"_That was you!" Demi cried loudly. She gestures wildly at me. "Like last week!"_

"_Fine! You keep all my secrets. I'm an awful friend." I sat down on the couch in a huff and crossed my arms. I turned my face away from her._

"_Like that is really going to work on me!" she snapped, her voice rising. "I've known you since birth. You get no sympathy from me."_

"_Fine. When I have sex I'll tell you all the embarrassing stuff and you can bring it up to whomever it is I'm with at the time!"_

_I did and she did._

OoOoOo

There is silence in the room except for the odd chattering of the Healers who are cleaning up the room and patching me up. I take no notice of this. Instead, I stare at the baby on my chest.

The Healers put him in a nice little nappy for us and it crinkles a bit as I adjust him so that I can look at his face again. He seems to be dozing peacefully now and I admire his ability to sleep through all my crying.

I can't seem to stop. It's as if everything I ever wanted, even everything I didn't know I wanted, was sitting right in front of me and I had no idea what to do with it.

I love Cole, but this is different. This baby is part of me in a way Cole isn't part of me. And this love I feel for the baby is so much different than the love I feel for Cole. I love Cole because he's an amazing person. He's sweet and generous and patient and he loves me unconditionally, which in turn makes me have unrelenting love for him. But the love I feel for August right now is just so different. There is no doubt in my mind that I could ever hate this baby. He is so perfect.

"Hi, August," I whisper, stroking his cheek with his hand.

I glance up briefly when I hear sudden cheering coming from the living room and I know our family has been told that I've had a boy. I feel another smile tugging on my lips despite my exhaustion.

As exhaustion further clouds my mind I take a moment to actually treasure this last moment with him. These first few moments of his life are slowly slipping away and he is no longer just mine. I now have to share him, and I don't really mind that.

There is a knock on the door.

"Can we come in?" Cole asks.

I nod and wipe the last few tears off of my face. "Of course."

The door opens wide and everyone piles into the room in a bit of a hurry. Once they see the baby they all begin talking in excited, yet hushed voices. August is then passed from family member, to family member.

Cole comes to my bed and I scoot over so I he can sit next to me, despite his protests that he doesn't want me to move too much. I insist, and he slides into bed next to me. He puts an arm around me and I rest my head against his chest.

"He's gorgeous, Roe," Mum says to me. She kisses my head and I smile at her. "You make beautiful babies."

"Thank you," I reply.

An hour later everyone could see that I was fighting tooth and nail to stay awake. I hadn't slept in nearly two days and the pain of childbirth was still lingering throughout my body.

"Well…we'll let you three rest," Mum says. The grandparents were the last to go.

I get a kiss from everyone and they head towards the door. Just as they are leaving I hear Mum say, "Would you two like to come for lunch?"

"Yes, thank you, that would be lovely."

Cole and I look at each other with raised eyebrows and I laugh a bit as the door closes over.

"I love you, Cole. Thank you."

"I love you, too, Roe. Why are you thanking me?"

"For giving me the baby," I reply.

He beams at me. "Well, I guess I could thank you, as well." He kisses me. "Get some rest. The Healer says you should be sleeping when August is sleeping."

"Okay," I reply.

I watch Cole take August and sit in the corner chair with him. He smiles over at me and then places August on his chest. The baby looks so small compared to Cole. I watch them for as long as I can before my eye lids begin to droop and I drift into sleep.

I'm up an hour later to feed, and then asleep for another hour, then up to feed again.

I won't even go into breastfeeding right now. I'm more content with the knowledge that August is happy.

OoOoOo

_Mum and Dad went out for the day and took Elizabeth. For making Head Girl they were taking her into Diagon Alley and Muggle London to spoil her rotten. I don't see what the big deal is, though. I could be Head Girl. Though, I didn't make Prefect (thank Merlin), so that may pose a bit of a problem._

_Mum literally had a box of kittens when Elizabeth got her letter yesterday morning. I thought she was having a bit of a seizure, what with all of the jumping around and screaming. She then flooed Dad and pulled him out of a meeting!_

_Can you believe that? She pulled him out of a bleeding meeting, just to tell him Elizabeth gets the same badge she's gotten the previous two years, just with HG, instead of P on it! And Dad wasn't even mad he got pulled out. He was happy. _

_When Mum pulled Dad out of a meeting for me, let me tell you it didn't result in a shopping spree in London. Oh, no! The incident caused Dad to suppress his rage so much one of our kitchen cabinets exploded. _

_My parents and Perfect Head Girl Elizabeth were gone when I woke this morning. I was quite relieved. I was going absolutely crazy what with all her prancing around and flitting her shopping spree right under my nose all day yesterday. She kept acting as though I were jealous. I am bloody fucking jealous, but that dumb bitch doesn't need to know that._

_Around one this afternoon, after I had gone to the lake for a bit of a swim and then some sunbathing, I came back into the house. I noticed quite suddenly that James had been most unceremoniously quiet. _

_I glanced around the living room and then the kitchen and noticed he wasn't in there. With a sigh, I made my way upstairs. I got to his bedroom and timidly knocked on the door._

"_Just a sec!" he called and I felt a stab of annoyance as, What now? floated through my mind. The door opened and James's face appeared in the crack. "Yeah?"_

"_What are you doing?" I asked._

"_Nothing." He coughs slightly and I get a whiff of pot._

"_Are you…Are you smoking pot in here?" I demanded._

_James sighed and opened the door further. I now see David sitting on the bed, guiltily trying to conceal James's stash._

"_Busted," James said, walking back towards the bed. "Shut the door, Roe."_

_I don't think James expected me to come into his room before I shut the door, for he raised his eyebrows at me._

"_Mum'll raise fucking hell if she catches you, James."_

"_She isn't going to catch me," he said. "She's too busy fawning over our dear Elizabeth." He brought the joint to his mouth and inhaled deeply before exhaling. A cloudy sense of calm came over his face. "Want some?"_

"_What?" I snapped, my voice cracking._

_He gestured with the joint. "Do. You. Want. Some."_

"_It's good stuff," David piped in._

_I looked at the joint doubtfully, as well as James and David. _

"_Roe? Last chance."_

"_Fine." I edged forward and hesitantly took the joint from my brother. He looked at me expectantly and I slowly brought it to my mouth. I placed it in between my lips and inhaled. _

_I wasn't expecting the onslaught of smoke and began coughing. James simply smirked at me and went about making a new joint for himself. _

_I spent the rest of the day getting absolutely stoned with my brother and his stupid friend David. I'm glad I did it with James. Because even though he was pretty far gone himself, he still kept a watchful and almost protective eye on me the whole day to make sure I was fine._

_Five o'clock came as a shock to the three of us. _

"_James? Roe? We're home!"_

"_Oh, shit!" James hopped up and started pushing everything on the bed into a small wooden box. David rushed to help him. I, however, crumpled over in a hysterical laughing mess._

"_We're going to be so grounded," I hissed through my laughter._

"_Shut up, Roe!" James snapped. "Hand me that, will you?"_

"_Guys! Come down. We brought dinner."_

"_Dinner!" I suddenly perked up. "Oh, Merlin, I love dinner!" I stood uneasily. "God I'm hungry."_

_I opened his door before he could stop me and bounded down the stairs. I stumbled down the last three and burst into hysterical laughter._

"_Whoops!"_

_I made my way into the kitchen just as James came in behind me. I stopped dead._

_There, sitting on the kitchen counter, was the most perfect cake I have ever seen in my entire life. It was like a baker woke up that morning and decided to make the cake just with me in mind. My stomach suddenly felt empty, as though I had never eaten in my entire life. _

"_Hey, guys, how was London?" James asked. He tried to grab at my arm, but I evaded him and inched towards the cake. I heard the front door shut and knew David must have escaped._

"_Fine, we had such a wonderful—" Mum stopped when I suddenly started shoving cake into my mouth at a frantic speed. "Roe! That cake was for Elizabeth!" Mum and Dad were both staring at us with wide-eyes._

"_It's sooooo good!" I said through a mouthful of vanilla cake and strawberry frosting._

_Mum looked from me to James, from me to James, from me to James. Her narrowed eyes suddenly widened in shock and fury.  
She made an odd choking noise and then, "You're both grounded!" she cried. _

"_What? Why?" James protested._

"_You know why!" Mum bellowed. She came to the counter and closed the lid over the cake as I hurriedly wiped the frosting off of my mouth and then into my mouth. "Harry, they're both _high_," Mum hissed as she passed Dad and threw the cake in the trash._

_Dad gave each of us a bewildered look and Elizabeth merely looked annoyed. _

_I found the situation absolutely hysterical and promptly burst into laughter. I laughed so hard that I doubled over and grabbed my sides. I could feel my throat strain and my face become red as I wheezed out more and more laughter. _

"_Harry, take her upstairs!" Mum snapped. "And you!" She pointed a finger at James. "How _dare_ you corrupt your little sister!"_

"_How _dare_ I?" James retorted angrily, imitating Mum's high voice when she got angry. Mum swelled up with fury. Had I not been high as a kite I would have shrunk back in fear, but seeing as I was high, I burst into more laughter. "She was all game for it!"_

"_Go to your room. You are grounded!"_

"_For how long?"_

"_Forever!" Mum screeched._

_That was the last I heard as Dad dragged my laughing ass up the stairs. He dumped me on my bed and I scrambled into a sitting position. I looked up at him with my best sad eyes._

"_Dad, I'm sorry." I hiccupped. "I really am."_

_Dad simply shook his head and gave me another bewildered look. He opened his mouth to speak, but Mum was suddenly in my doorway. She glared furiously at me._

"_You are grounded!" she cried at me. "Ground-_ED_!"_

"_I'm sorry!" I wail._

"_You have not even begun to know the meaning of sorry!" Mum screamed furiously. "No Demi, no Diagon Alley, no Michael, no _NOTHING_!" Mum pointed a finger at me. "And no food."_

"_What?" I cried, stifling laughter._

"_You heard me. No food."_

"_I can't eat anymore?" I asked, and burst into immediate laughter._

"_Laugh all you want, Roe. You are not allowed out of this room until I come up here and get you. Is that understood?"_

_I nod, biting onto my lip to stop the laughter._

"_Harry, get Goliath."_

"_Huh?"_

"_Put Goliath in his cage," Mum hissed at Dad. _

"_Oh." Dad got my owl and put him in his cage. He locked it and came to stand next to Mum again with the cage in his hand._

"_Harry, do you want to add anything?" Mum asked._

"_What you did was very wrong, Rosemary. We are very disappointed in you." Dad paused. "Erm…And I'm canceling your subscription to Teen Witch." I gave him a look of outrage._

_Mum gave Dad a look of pure delight in turn and turned back to me. "That's it. Good night, Rosemary." She stepped aside and Dad went out first. Just before she left Mum said, "Enjoy the munchies" before she slammed my door shut so hard the pictures on the wall rattled._

_I didn't quite know what she meant until twenty minutes later when I became so hungry I could have eaten my pillowcase. I tried to leave, but my door was locked shut. I ended up eating some owl food and falling asleep hungry and ashamed._

_The next morning was no better. James was woken at the ass crack of dawn to help Dad do some yard work the Muggle way. I got to sleep in a bit, but then I was summoned to the kitchen where Mum went on and on and on about the pot._

"_It was just once, Mum!" I cried._

"_I don't care, Rosemary!"_

"_Like you've never done it!" I snapped. _

_I expected her to say, "Absolutely not!" but what she said was, "That doesn't matter!"_

"_Wait a minute! You've done it?" I snapped._

_Mum looked flustered. "We did it a million years ago."_

"_You and DAD did it?" I cried._

"_We were kids."_

"_I'm a kid!"_

"_You're my kid and I'm punishing you as I see fit!"_

"_How can you punish me for something you yourself did? That's hypocritical!" _

_Mum struggled for a response before she shouted, "Do as I say, not as I do!"_

_Our sentence was reduced from two months to a month from Mum, and to a week from Dad. Apparently James had gotten much better leverage outside from him._

OoOoOo

Cole absolutely adores the baby, and seems to adore me a million times more because I was the one who had the baby. I have never really seen him act this way, as though he absolutely idolized me. Even when we were kids and he had a crush on me, he still managed to function fairly well.

Now, though…Holy hell.

I was woken this morning to breakfast in bed, a first for me. Cole had put all my favorites on there. He had also gone outside to pick a flower and stick it a bit haphazardly in a small vase.

"Good morning, Roe," he says happily, kissing me firmly. "Did you rest well enough?"

"Yeah," I say with a yawn. "A bit."

"Can I get you anything else?"

"No, this is wonderful, Cole. Thank you."

"Are you sure, it wouldn't be a problem."

"No, I'm fine."

"Another pillow maybe? Or, oh, did I forget the syrup? Let me just run down and—"

"Cole!" I give him a concerned look. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing."

"Why are you so jumpy?"

"I just want you to be comfortable," he says. He suddenly looks bashful. "I mean, you just gave birth three days ago!"

We both, not on our own accord, glance quickly at the bassinet in the corner where August is sleeping peacefully.

"I know I did. I can still feel the effects of it. Why are you acting as though I'm an invalid?"

"I don't know," he says. "My dad said I should keep you as comfortable and in as high spirits as I can. I want you to be happy."

"I'm very happy," I reply. "So don't worry about that. Come sit with me. Eat with me." I glance down at everything. "With our fingers, apparently."

"Oh, shit! Hold on, I'll be—"

I grab his arm. "I was kidding, Cole. I eat with my fingers anyways."

He sighs heavily and finally sits down next to me on the bed. I beam over at him and pick apart my French toast with my fingers. I dip it in some maple syrup and pop it into my mouth.

"Are you sure you wouldn't be happy with a fork?"

"Positive," I say, licking my fingers clean. "Want some?"

"No, that's o—" I shove a piece of toast into his mouth and he begrudgingly eating it. I smile happily at him. "Juice?"

"Yes, please."

Cole pours some from me as I go back to breakfast. I turn and offer him some bacon from my extended fingers and he takes it now without a fight. I smile broadly at him again.

Last night I briefly wondered, as the baby screamed nonstop and I tried to breastfeed and Cole tried to make himself useful, if I would always be happy. Naturally, I was thinking this at one of the darkest times of the baby's early life. I know I don't think like that at all, but it struck me.

I was up all the way to August's next, more peaceful, feeding. I managed to get through it without waking Cole for some sort of help whether it be physical or emotional.

I wondered if this life is what I really wanted for myself. I had never imagined a life out of Hogwarts, unless it involved Demi and I in an all-girl rock band, though neither of us can sing or play an instrument. I wondered if this life would always make me happy. I wondered if I would always love my husband. I know I love him now, but I needed to know I'd love him forever.

But I know now, in the deepest caverns of my heart, that I can love him forever. As long as he keeps looking at me as he's doing now, with a grin on his face and adoration in his eyes.

I pull his head down and rub my nose on his until he smiles even bigger and then kiss him. He kisses back.

"I love you," we say at the same time and then we laugh. We laugh and we laugh and we laugh until we wake the baby and he starts to cry.

"I've got him," Cole says.

"I didn't know you grew boobs for breastfeeding," I comment.

"Well, that's what these are for," Cole says and opens his bedside table drawer and pulls out the fake boobs with straps.

I give him an amused look. "You'd wear those for me?"

"Well, sure, if you want," Cole says. "I'd do anything for you."

I feel a delightful swoop in my stomach and beam at him. "Thank you, Cole. I'll do it, though. Put those embarrassing things away."

He makes a deal of acting as though he isn't relieved I would be breastfeeding, and instantly puts the boobs back in the drawer.

"You know, I can safely say that will be the only time I won't be upset that you've got a pair of boobs on the side," I say, gently picking August up and heading over to the chair. Cole cleans up the remains of breakfast.

About twenty or so minutes later August is all done for now. I put my feet firmly on the floor, holding firmly onto the baby's head and stand.

Cole comes back into the room. "Done already?" he asks.

I nod and feel the smooth skin of the baby against my cheek. "Hold him a second, will you?" I ask kindly. Cole instantly opens his arms to accept the baby. I take that time to adjust my knickers and my pants. "Holy hell, that was a hell of a wedgie."

"Motherhood has done nothing to increase your feminine side, I see," Cole quips as he places the sleeping baby's head on his chest.

I give Cole a look, but he beckons me forward and I move towards him until he wraps his arms around me. The added balance of my body against his body, keeps August safely pinned between us. Cole starts to sway as though dancing and starts humming a lullaby his mum used to sing to him.

I press my cheek against Cole's cheek and find myself face-to-face with our baby and smile for the millionth time that day. It feels so natural to smile this much now.

And right there, in that very moment, I knew I would never be happier anywhere else. I knew this was it, this is where my happiness would always be, pressing against my husband with our baby in between us.

OoOoOo

_We just got back from dropping Elizabeth and James off at the station for their first day of Hogwarts. I was nearly hysterical the entire time saying goodbye to them. So much so that Dad finally picked me up and let me rest my head on his shoulder. _

"_It isn't fair!" I wailed the whole way home. _

"_You'll get to go in two years, Roe!" Mum said, turning around from the front seat. "It's not that long away!"_

_It wasn't so much that they were going to school and I wasn't, it was that they were gone. Every last one of them was gone. All seven of my cousins and my brother and sister were gone. I was going to be the only one at family gatherings and at holidays. This was a total bust._

"_It is too long away!" I bellowed. "Why couldn't you have had me sooner?"_

_Mum turned back around and let me carry on with my continued hissy-fit. The fact that they didn't even turn back after another five minutes only caused to infuriate me more. Dad finally had to say, "Rosemary, if you try to open that door one more time and throw yourself onto the pavement, I'm going to kill you." I quieted down._

_I cried silently until we pulled into our driveway. Then I became hysterical again. This was absolutely my worst nightmare realized. I had never in my life been without the presence of my siblings. How was I to cope when it was just me or just my parents?_

"_Come on." Mum opened the door and reached into the car. She pulled me out by my ankles and then by under the arms. She managed to lift me onto her hip and let me rest my head on her shoulder. "You're getting way too big for me to be doing this," she said as she walked me into the house. _

_I didn't say anything, as I was too young to be offended by any weight remarks. I simply let my mother smooth my hair and kiss my forehead as she collapsed into the couch, still firmly clenched onto me. _

_She turned me around so my legs were still horizontally along the couch and my head was still on her shoulder. _

"_I remember when your uncle Ron left for school," she said to me in her soft voice. Mum had a voice, probably still does, that just instantly put us at ease. It didn't matter if the world was ending and the house was exploding, with her talking the way she did, we would have remained calm. _

"_Yeah?" I asked, perking up._

"_He had been the last to go before me." Mum glanced down at me. "First was Bill, but I was still a baby, I didn't even know it then. I was only two when he left. Then was Charlie, but I was still too young to really notice his absence. I finally noticed it when Percy left. Then when the twins left the house got absolutely silent. It was nice." She smoothed my hair down. "But when Ron left…that was the worst." She wiped a tear away from my cheek. "We were closest, seeing as we're only fifteen months apart. And when he left it was just me in that big house. Dad was always gone, but I was used to that. It was just me and my mother." She glanced down at me. "I was just as upset as you were, until I realized the perks to being the only in the house."_

"_Yeah?" I asked. "Like what?"_

"_Well, there was no more sharing and fighting over toys. There was no more fighting for my parent's attention. There was no more worrying that I would have to wake up at the crack of dawn just to get a hot shower." She smiled again. "The best part was that when my father came home, I had him all to myself."_

_I thought of Dad. When he came home I usually had to fight over perfect Elizabeth who Dad was always so proud of her for something, and James who had messed up something that Dad needed to immediately fix. By the time he got to me he was exhausted. _

"_My Dad would come home and Mum would make us dinner. Then he'd sit with me by the fire and he'd tell me stories, or he'd show me funny little Muggle trinkets he picked up at work. He would let Mum rest and would look after me for the rest of the night until bed. By the time June rolled around I was wishing I were four years younger than Ron and not one. I cherished that year alone with my parents and I miss it even now. You're lucky you've got two years."_

_Mum let me think about this and continued to stroke my hair. And think about it I did. Would it really be so bad without James and Elizabeth? I wouldn't fight for attention at all, especially during the day from Mum. _

_I sniffed one last time and wiped my tears. I sat up and turned to Mum with a wide grin. "Okay, I'm better," I told her._

"_Good."_

_Mum and Dad tried to keep me in high spirits for the rest of the week. But, when I refused to do my schoolwork, simply because it was earlier than we had ever started before, Mum snapped._

"_Fine. You go to your room."_

"_Okay," I said, delighted._

"_I'm getting your father."_

_And my smile faltered. I waited up in the room for a quarter of an hour when I heard, "Rosemary, come down here, please."_

_I headed for the door, stopped at my mirror and practiced my said, sorry face, and then slowly treaded down the stairs. There, standing near the kitchen table were both my parents. I cringed when I saw my dad. I knew he was young, and so was my mother. I know that they had Elizabeth and James at twenty and twenty-one, and me at twenty-two and twenty-three. And sometimes I forgot that they were still very young themselves. Dad was only thirty-two. _

_Even though by then I knew he wasn't the bad guy, and he probably wasn't going to get too to mad, I was still scared of him. We all knew he was capable of becoming furious. We all knew he was capable of punishing us, he just chose not to. And it was easy to see why we were frightened, he killed a _Dark Lord_ after all._

"_Why won't you do your school work?" Dad demanded._

"_I'm sorry." I hung my head and stuck out my bottom lip._

_There was silence and I looked up. Both Mum and Dad were giving me amused looks and I faltered._

"_She takes after you, you know," Dad informed Mum._

"_Theatrically, yes," Mum said, "but I can't take any credit for her work ethic. That is all you." Dad smiled at her and turned back to me._

"_Roe, listen to your mother. If she wants to start now, you're starting now." Dad gave me a stern look. "Just do it and get it over with."_

_I sighed warily. "Fine."_

"_Good."_

_And I obeyed her for the rest of the year, simply because Dad said so._

OoOoOo

"Cole, we're going to be late!" I cry. I hop around as I pull on a sandal and yank my hair out of the messy ponytail it was in. "Cole! Do you have the baby?"

"I'm changing him!" Cole replies.

"You are?" I hurry into the nursery to see that, indeed, Cole is in the midst of changing the baby. "Wow. And no prompting on my part, either."

Cole turns to me and picks the baby up to also face me. "I'm growing. Besides, it's an odd form of bonding for the two of us. Isn't it August?"

I laugh despite myself and say, "Are you all ready to go?"

"Yup." He hands me the baby and steps back so I can survey what it is he's wearing. "Do I look family portrait ready?"

"Yes you do."

As in typical fashion, we have a family portrait the third of June every year. It is a good way to see who has grown and who has put on weight while at school. We have the same photographer every year come to the Burrow for the shots. This year, though, we had to push it back until July 23, as I was too pregnant and grumpy to do it June 3. Plus, August made his appearance on June 26.

Usually Mum and Dad have to threaten us with bodily harm to get us three Potter kids to stand next to each other for this picture.

"Come on. We're going to be late."

Cole follows me into the living room and I grab August's baby blanket from the couch. I wrap the baby tightly and safely and then let him rest against my chest. I still get absolutely petrified to floo with him. I don't want him to knock his head.

But, as usual everything goes smoothly and I gracefully step out of the fireplace and into the living room of my grandmother's house.

"You're late," Elizabeth comments as soon as she sees me. It isn't in a mean way, just her usual observations.

"You've had a newborn! You know what it can be like."

"Hmm," Elizabeth murmurs. She then smiles at me. "I like the way you're wearing your hair." She then walks into the kitchen and announces, "They're here."

"We aren't that late, are we?" Cole asks. He has suddenly appeared behind me with a crack.

"No! There's bound to be someone else who isn't here…"

But no, we're the last. Usually my cousin Chloe is the last one there, but today she is here before us.

"Alright, let's get the whole family first," Colin Creevey, the photographer says. He bunches us all up. "Everyone smile!"

There, standing in the bright sunlight, the whole Weasley family, plus spouses, significant others and children, stood for our family portrait. As per usual, the Lupins were invited. They are basically family.

Bill and Fleur were there with Chloe and Jean-Pierre, her husband. Charlie and Rachel, Emily and Peter, her husband. Percy, Penelope, Paige and Nathan. Fred, Angelina, Jane, George, Alicia and Rebecca, plus her boyfriend Daniel. Then there was Ron, Hermione, John and Annie, John's girlfriend Melissa and Annie's boyfriend Todd. The Lupins: Remus, Tonks, Demi, Frank and baby Francis.

And then us Potter's. Mum, Dad, Elizabeth, Michael, Violet, James, Alice, baby James, me, Cole, and August.

We all took a few group shots together.

Then it was time to break up into our smaller families. It is always nice to get all these pictures back. We grumble about it when we're doing it, but I am truly grateful for the memories.

"Smile Potters!" We do and there is a crack and a flash. "Alright, Roe and Cole. You come with the baby. We'll do you guys first. Are you ready for your first family portrait?"

Perhaps it is with the birth of August that I realize just how special this truly is. This isn't just a family portrait, this will be _my_ family's portrait.

"Yes."

Cole stands behind me and I feel a comforting hand on my hip. I look up to smile at him, dimly aware of the flashbulbs, and then turn back to smile at the camera.

"Okay, now James and Alice!"

We break down into smaller groups until, "Alright, now just the siblings."

The rest of the family has finished their group photos and is now outside the house either eating or chatting, waiting for us to finish up before we all sit down to a group lunch.

The three of us come together and, like always, I stand in the middle of them. Usually we are all fighting and snapping at each other, but not this time. We come together without a fight, and we stand together without a fight.

"Okay, now how about just the Potter sisters?"

Elizabeth and I come together somewhat stiffly, but then I wrap my arms around her and kiss her cheek as the flashbulb goes off.

I think back to all of our drama and the fighting and how much we hated each other and I smiled.

She places her arms around me and we stand cheek-to-cheek and smile at the camera.

"Come back in, James!" Elizabeth calls.

He hurries back in and wraps his arms around me, who is still in the middle.

No matter how much we fought, no matter how much we hated each other in the past, it was different. Perhaps other people would have looked back at it with bewildered looks and horrified expressions, but not us. That was just how we had to be to become as close as we are now. We didn't know any better, we were simply growing up Potter.

A/N:

Read and Review.

P.S. I do really need the feedback!!


	28. Chapter 28

**Epilogue Part 1:**

**August Cole Malfoy**

_Dad always used to say that funerals were a time for reflection…I guess I didn't really realize it until now._

OoOoOo

Let me tell you the thing about having sisters. First off, everything is your fault. No matter what happens or who it happens to, it always comes back to you. It doesn't matter if a sister has a PMS-breakdown and hurls a vase at my head, it's my fault. I probably provoked her. Secondly, keep your mouth shut. No matter what the sister is saying, never directly reply to her. Do not speak after she's spoken without at least a fifteen second silence, lest she not be "done" and cause a fight that ends up being your fault. And thirdly, just don't even bother. Soon they will be the greatest resource when it comes to getting inside the head of a woman, but until that time comes, just don't even bother.

Of course, over the fifteen years I have lived with sisters, I have indeed learned all of this the hard way. Dad insists there is no other way. Either you don't learn it at all, or you learn it the hard way. It's the only way to get it to stick.

I don't hate all of my sisters, mind you. However, there are times when I am almost sure that, if it were legal, I would have murdered at least two of them by now. Especially the oldest one, who is two years younger than me. She gets on my nerves like nothing else in the entire world.

People always assume that if you have brothers then you fight and wrestle and tackle each other. Let me tell you, sisters aren't much different than having brothers. They fight and they hit and they tackle. The only difference? I'm not allowed to hit back. I've got some war wounds only soldiers have. Yes, the joy of sisters.

OoOoOo

_We all met at Aunt Elizabeth's house this morning. She had a wonderful spread of crackers and cheese and fruit and pastries waiting for everyone. Her eyes brimmed with tears as she grasped my mother's hands._

"_How are you?"_

"_Alright," Mum replied. "You?"_

"_Okay," Aunt Elizabeth said._

_I walk over to the mantle where Iris is standing with a glass in her hand. I nudge her shoulder as I walk around to face her. She glances up at me with a small smile._

"_Funerals suck," she says weakly and takes another sip of her glass._

"_They're not meant to be fun," I remind her. She gives a soft laugh. "What are you drinking? Orange…"_

"_Orange juice and vodka," she replies._

"_It's nine in the morning," I say._

"_I need to take the edge off," she replies, another gulp making its way down her throat. "This is going to be hard, you know." She gives me a dirty look._

"_Do you often get drunk so early in the morning?" I ask._

"_Hell no," she replies. "It's better if you get drunk the night before and stay drunk."_

"_Cheers," I say and clink my glass with hers. She gives me a wider smile, her shoulders slowly lowering themselves to relax._

_Suddenly, there is a presence to my right and her left. We both turn to see Charlotte holding a glass in one hand. She heaves a giant sigh before resting her head on Iris's shoulder. Iris cocks her head to the side so it rests on top of Charlotte's head. They stay like that for a moment and I gaze at them, wonderingly. Not for the first time I wonder what it would have been like if I had maybe just one brother. I wonder if we would have been as close and Iris and Charlotte were. _

_Music starts behind us and we know that we are about to start the funeral procession moving. I see Charlotte and Iris visibly swallow. Iris knocks back the rest of her drink and places it on the mantel. She takes Charlotte's hand. _

"_Merlin this is intense," Charlotte says as we start walking. "I could die for a cig."_

"_You don't need a cig," Iris snaps. _

"_Where's Annabelle?" I ask, walking beside Iris._

"_Over there. Go get her, will you?" Iris asks._

_I nod and walk a few yards a head of them to Annabelle. I tap her on the shoulder and she turns to me. She gives me a small smile. _

"_Come walk with us," I say and take her hand. _

_I didn't get a brother, but I did get Annabelle in the way of a sibling companion. Though she's much younger than me, I've been able to talk to her from a very young age. Iris and Charlotte got each other. I got Annabelle._

OoOoOo

Mum and Dad never came right out and said it or anything, but let's face it. Little Annabelle is an accident. Word has it she was conceived right after Aunt Elizabeth came to pick us up for the weekend. It seems to fit in perfectly around the time Mum started getting sick. I was, by that time, old enough to realize what was going on and why Mum seemed so upset with Dad.

"You told me you had it done!" she shouted angrily through their closed over, but not all the way, door. She was gesturing wildly and then pointed directly at something. "This tells me otherwise!"

"I'm sorry!" he snapped. "But when I got in there and heard exactly what needed to be done…I couldn't. I just couldn't!"

"Well that's just great!" she snapped. "Thanks a lot, Cole!"

"Come on, Roe! It's a—"

"So help me, Cole, if you say blessing one more fucking time!" Mum shouted angrily. "You are not the one giving birth to it and then breastfeeding it! I wanted to get back to work! I wanted to do something with my life! Think of the kids!"

"It's a baby not a flesh eating virus! They'll all survive!"

I remember when Mum started getting big and had that gigantic baby bump. I'm not going to lie, I was pretty offended by it. It was like there was an alien or something inside of her stomach. I thought it was the grossest thing ever. Mum was always trying to get me to touch her stomach and the only time I did, something, it later turned out to be Annabelle, punched my hand off of the stomach.

Of course, there was the horrific incident where I actually saw Mum's bare stomach. Had I been any older it probably would have scarred me from sex for life. I knew where babies came from and I wanted absolutely no part of that.

Then, of course, there was the actual birth. Thank Merlin I wasn't actually in the room when Annabelle made her entrance. I was there for maybe an hour and a half before Aunt Elizabeth ushered us into the waiting room with her family. I can still hear Mum screaming sometimes, and believe me, it still terrifies me.

We went back inside the room to meet the new baby and I finally saw what had been growing inside of Mum.

"Guys, this is Annabelle," Mum said in a soft, tired voice.

"Annabelle?" Charlotte asked. She wrinkled her nose slightly. She was a bitch, even back then. "Annabelle what?"

"Fiona," Mum replied. "Annabelle Fiona Malfoy…Why? You don't like the name?" She turned to Dad worriedly.

"Roe." He held up his hand and shook his head. "It's a lovely name and she's seven."

We all sat in the chair to wait our turn to hold her. I will also admit that I was pretty bummed that there was yet another girl in the house. Even at age nine, I had come to realize that Charlotte was going to be a handful and Iris was going to help her out as much as humanly possible. I was scared that this tiny, slumbering baby would turn into an all out monster, just as Charlotte had.

When Dad handed Annabelle over to me and instructed me to "carefully hold her head, just like that" and I finally got a good look at her, I'll confess, I wasn't as offended. She had curly blonde hair and a cute face. After a moment, she opened her eyes and for a split second she and I stared at each other in silence. My eyes must have been wide as saucers, because Dad hurried over to see what the problem was and then he too looked down at her, wide eyed.

"Roe, she's got your Dad's eyes!" Dad said.

"Huh?" Mum looked up. She was busy braiding Iris's hair properly.

"She's got your Dad's eyes," Dad repeated.

"Really?"

"Oh, yeah," Dad said. "Let's show Mum." He picked her up and tilted her towards Mum.

She gasped. "Holy crap!"

To this day Annabelle has the brightest green eyes we've ever seen. Everyone was sure that they had been charmed or something, but, really, they're naturally like that. They're part of what makes her her. Without those big green eyes and that out of control hair…well, she'd look just like Charlotte or Iris, and I will have none of that, thank you very much.

There were only three things that could calm Annabelle down within seconds: Mum's breasts, Dad's voice and me. We figured this out pretty early. She would stop crying when presented with any of these three (well, I guess four) things.

I usually volunteered to rock her to sleep while Mum finished up some things around the house or Mum and Dad wanted a few minutes to sit down and rest for half a second. Then, there would be times when she would want her bottle, after Mum's breasts had stopped soothing her.

Charlotte and Iris would help, of course, but they were far more interested in dressing her up in funny outfits. Annabelle was, to them, a real life babydoll to play with. I feared for her safety and for much of my time at home I would keep a watchful eye over her.

It was when she entered her toddler years that I realized her true potential at being a fun human being. She wobbled around, unsteady on her feet as a drunk man, and would laugh at any face I possibly made at her. If I went out for the day, she was always waiting for me when I got home with a huge smile. Sometimes she would scream like I was a famous pop star and she was the loving groupie.

Annabelle became my own person confidant. I would tell her things I had never even told Frank or my father. At the time I was still only eleven, so it was nothing too bad. It was mostly about my recent crush on Sandra Harvey or how I had stayed up past bedtime to listen to the Quidditch game on the two-way radio. And Annabelle listened and kept my secrets. Even when I started getting older, and she was still rather young, I let her in on my secrets. To the best of my knowledge, it went no where. She knew better than to tell Charlotte or Iris because she had sensed a different relationship I had with them then with her.

I will always remember Annabelle as a baby. I can still sometimes remember what she smelled like when she was a baby and I can remember changing her diaper and teaching her to walk and talk. All of that is fresh in my mind when I look over at her. Charlotte, however, has always been two years behind me, no matter what. I can fight with her without feeling guilty. I can't do that with Annabelle, not that she's ever given me anything to fight with her about.

OoOoOo

_I'm twenty six years old and believe me, being the older brother never goes away. When I'm at home it always feels as though I have to be on my best behavior, lest I screw up in front of my "impressionable" sisters. Mind you, they're twenty-four, twenty-two and just about seventeen. Basically, they're all of age, but I still have to watch myself._

_The path towards the burial site is a bit long. Charlotte walks in complete silence until she steps in a puddle that seems to be filled with mud. _

"_Fucking arse!" she snaps. "These were new shoes!" She leans onto Iris and twists around to get a look at them. They are quickly staining a deep brown, as are her stockings. Annabelle and I stop as well, mostly to see what Charlotte's going to do._

"_Just wipe it off," I say. "They funeral isn't going to stop for your shoe."_

_She glares over at me. "It's not just any shoe! It's a…"_

"_Mark Sparks," we all say together._

"_We know," I say. "It's satin with a heel. It's a shoe. Let's go."_

"_Guys, come on!" Dad snaps. "What's the hold up?"_

"_Daddy, look at my shoe!" Charlotte practically wails. "It's ruined."_

_As always, Dad looks torn between amusement and actual concern for what Charlotte is going through. As a man he realizes that crying over a shoe is rather silly, but as a father he truly cares that it is making Charlotte so distraught._

"_Charlotte, sweetheart, you gotta keep moving!" Dad grabs her elbow and begins leading her away._

"_But, Daddy!" Charlotte says desperately._

"_Come on. I'll buy you another pair."_

"_They went out of style!" Charlotte snaps._

"_Oh for the love of Merlin's baggy shorts!" I cry. I reach into my pocket, extract my wand and aim it at her shoes. The mud blasts off, as does some of the satin, leaving a scorch mark._

_She sucks in air as though to start screaming as Dad says, "Actually, August will buy you two new pairs. Thanks for offering, August!" Dad gives me a wary look before saying, "Pick up the pace, you four." He then turns back and hurries after Mum and the others._

"_You little…" Charlotte fumes angrily and starts walking again. "Not only are you buying me two new pairs of shoes, but you're taking me out to lunch as well!"_

_I make a face at the back of her head and Annabelle snorts. When Charlotte whips around to glare at the two of us, we both hide it until she turns away again. Annabelle shakes her head as we continue to walk down the muddy path. Charlotte whimpers the entire way._

"_Oh, August, I forgot to tell you!" Iris says suddenly, turning to me. "You'll never guess who just started working in my division, in my very own office!"_

"_Who?" I say._

"_Melinda Carter!"_

"The_ Melinda Carter?" Charlotte asks._

"_Who's Melinda Carter?" Annabelle asks._

"_No one," I say quickly._

"_She popped August's cherry," Charlotte says. "Well, actually, you popped hers, I guess I should say."_

_Iris snorts and I feel a blush come onto my cheeks. I glare over at Charlotte and avoid Annabelle's embarrassed look and focus my attention on the path ahead of us. My mind begins to drift elsewhere, though…_

OoOoOo

My most embarrassing moment was, and still is, come to think of it, the morning of my seventeenth birthday.

The night prior I had my birthday party in the backyard of our house with a bunch of people from school, under a canopy Dad had set up. There were drinks and refreshments (some snuck-in alcohol, which Dad ignored) and music. Everyone was having fun and enjoying themselves.

She had been leaning up against one of the tables talking with a few other girls in our grade. Almost as though she could feel my eyes on her, she turned her head slightly and caught my eye. I instantly blushed and looked down at my cup.

"Melinda's coming over here," Frank hissed in my ear.

"What? Why?" I hissed back.

"I have no idea," he replied. "Be cool." He snatched my cup, currently distracting me from Melinda, and hurried away, leaving me out in the open.

Melinda walked up to me and cleared her throat ever-so-slightly, trying to grab my attention. I had been staring at the ground as though a hole would open up that I could jump through. Why Melinda made me feel this way, I have no idea. We've known each other since first year and she isn't the first girl that I've had a crush on. She's been the only girl, however, who has made me feel like a prepubescent school boy whenever she came near, though.

"Hey August," she said softly. She tilted her head down to catch my eye and then straightened out when I did. She gave me a bright smile. "Happy Birthday."

"It's not my birthday," I blurted out. "I mean…" I blushed when she gave me a bewildered look.

"I thought this was your birthday party," she said.

"It is," I said hurriedly. "I just meant it's not my birthday yet. Tomorrow. Well, actually, in four minutes."

Her face softened and she smiled at me again. "I was going to say…" she said with a laugh. "I'd want my gift back."

"You didn't have to get my anything," I said quickly.

"It's custom."

"Right."

There was a moment of silence as she surveyed me with what looked like stifled amusement.

"Can I ask you something?" she asked, coming somewhat closer.

"Yeah. Sure."

"I've known you since First Year," she said.

"Uh huh."

"I see you around the castle all the time with your friends. You guys are always laughing and talking. I've seen you tell your friends jokes and have conversations with them." She started moving closer to me. "Why is it whenever I come near you you can't seem to talk anymore?" She was so close at that point that I could smell her shampoo.

"I-I don't know," I muttered.

"Is it because you don't like me?" She cocked her head to the side slightly. "Do you not like me, August?"

"No," I said. "I mean! I do like you. A lot."

"Alright then," she whispered. She got, if possible, even closer. "Hey, August?"

"Huh?"

"Happy birthday." She suddenly closed the distance between us and kissed me. In the hum of background noise, I heard my watch beep, indicating midnight. The kiss felt like everything I would have possibly wanted it to feel. I clenched onto her as tightly and gently as I could as she pressed her body onto mine.

When the guests started to leave and I still couldn't pull my face off of hers, she did it for me.

"I should go," she said. "It's getting late."

"Okay. You can use our fireplace." I wiped my mouth on my hand and tried to control my breathing. I didn't want to sound like a winded hippogriff, but feared I did.

"I left my purse in your room," she whispered in my ear.

I frowned at her and said, "Oh, okay. Let's go get it."

We crept into the house and I closed the back door behind us. The house was completely dark and still. The last thing I would want is for my mother or father to wake up. I took her by the crook of her elbow and led her up the back stairs. They came out just near my bedroom door.

I opened the door and then quickly shut it behind me. I flicked on the light and scanned the room for a purse. I moved away from the door to look on my desk and the other side of my bed.

"Hey, Melinda," I whispered, "are you sure you left your purse in here?"

"I didn't bring a purse," she whispered.

I turned around to see her hesitantly sitting on my bed. She looked at me with wide, doleful eyes before giving me a shy smile and patting the bed. I stood still for a moment before I regained some motor and verbal skills.

"Melinda…" I said softly.

I came to stand in front of her. She glanced up at me with a small smile before her hands crawled up my shirt, pulling me down on top of her. Her lips found mine and she kissed me softly and eagerly. I reached blindly for the light switch and turned the light off.

"I don't usually do this," Melinda hissed as she tugged my shirt off. "I've just liked you for so long…You have no idea."

"It's alright," I said hurriedly, shimmying my pants off. "I believe you."

I won't go into great deal about what happened in the next hour and a half, partly because it's personal and partly, because I'm a little embarrassed. It was my first time and her first time and a half, as she told me. I knew everything I was supposed to do, and tried to do it to her liking. I heard a great deal of moaning, so I know she was enjoying herself.

After it was all said and done, I slumped over onto my back, panting like all hell and thinking about how I couldn't wait to tell Frank all about this in the morning. I felt Melinda give me a kiss on the cheek.

"Where's your bathroom?" she whispered in my ear.

I warily pointed at the door next to my dresser and she smiled at me before getting up and walking into the bathroom. I watched her go before looking up at the ceiling in disbelief. I kept running the words "I just got shagged" in my head over and over again.

Melinda slipped back into bed and kissed my cheek again. I turned to her and she gave me her wonderfully cute, bashful smile.

"Happy birthday, August," she said softly.

I smiled at her. When she went to move I said, "Do you want to stay the night?"

"Will that be alright?" she asked worriedly. "What if your…" I silenced her with a kiss.

"I'll set the alarm."

"Okay." She smiled brightly.

I leaned over and turned the dials to my alarm until it read 6:00. I then turned back in bed and turned towards Melinda.

"Goodnight," I whispered.

"Hey!" she said, placing a hand on my chest. "I'm not done with you yet." She quirked an eyebrow and then moved on top of me.

The next morning when the alarm went off, I, by instinct, immediately hit it and promptly fell back asleep. The next time I woke, though, it was for good.

My door burst open and my eyes immediately opened. I sat up in bed and saw my mother picking up my scattered clothes and throwing them into a basket that was propped on her hip. I turned back to the slumbering Melinda and quickly threw the blanket over her head.

"Mum, what are you doing?" I snapped. I could feel a damp layer of sweat suddenly break out on my forehead.

Mum whirled around. "Oh, darling, I'm sorry! Did I wake you?" She gave me a sympathetic look. "Happy Birthday, love!"

She went to move closer to me and, upon realizing I was completely naked under my sheet, I shouted, "Get out!"

Mum jumped and gave me an affronted look. "Excuse me for trying to get some housework done!" she snapped. "If it were up to you people we'd all live in our own filth." She bent down and picked up a sock. "Oh, thanks, by the way, for cleaning up after your party last night."

"Yeah, I'll get to that later. Just…please get out."

"What is the matter with you?" Mum snapped. Her eyes suddenly widened. "Were you having…um, _personal_ time?"

"What?" I snapped. Realization dawned on me. "No!" I shouted. "You woke me up, that's all! Just get out!"

"Fine! My goodness!" Mum bent down and when she came back up, she had a light blue bra hanging off her index finger. She raised her eyebrow at me. "August…Is this…"

"It's mine," I said before I could stop myself.

Mum gave me a baffled look. "This is yours?"

"I like the feeling of it on!"

I figured if I could just get Mum to think I was some sort of freak and leave before she caught Melinda then everything would still be okay. As it was, Mum was looking at me as though I had gone mad.

"I thought this was Charlotte's!" Mum said.

That would have been a better excuse. I had mentally blocked out the images of Charlotte's breasts or undergarments because they made me feel rather ill.

"I borrowed it," I said, realizing I couldn't backpedal.

Mum looked confused beyond belief. "What the hell, August? What is the matter with you? Are you high, or something? You could have just said so!"

"Mum, I'm not high!" I cried.

"What's going on?" a muffled voice asks. A light blond began to emerge from beneath the sheets, but I placed my hand firmly on her head and shoved it back down under.

"August…August, who is that?" Mum hissed.

"No one!" I cried.

"August, cut it out!" Melinda growled. She sat up, her eyes fixed on me. "What is the matter with…" She turned her head to my mother. Her cheeks turned bright red. "Oh. Hi."

"Oh, thank Merlin!" Mum cried. She placed her hand on her forehead, glanced up at the ceiling and shook her head. "For a second, August, I thought this was yours or that you were really stealing your sister's knickers." Mum put the basket down on the ground. "Hi, I'm August's Mum, Roe. You are…?" Mum said warmly, smiling.

"Melinda," Melinda murmured.

"Melinda. Hi. Alright…well, I'll leave you two alone. Breakfast's on the table in an hour…Melinda, you're more than welcome to join us!" Mum picked up the basket and started to leave. Before she did, however, she mouthed, "She's pretty!" at me, before closing the door over.

I collapsed back against the pillows in embarrassment.

"So that was your Mum," Melinda said.

"Yeah. That was my Mum."

"She seems nice."

"She is," I replied.

"I should get going."

"Yeah."

She gets out of bed and dressed in record speed.

"Where's my bra?" she asked.

"Oh. Um. My mother has it."

"Right…I'll see you at school?" She turned towards me and, like always, I became mesmerized by her giant brown eyes.

"Yes," I reply.

"Okay." She gave me a shy smile. "Good."

She bent down and kissed me as a parting gift and then said, "Can you walk me down to your fireplace?"

"Oh! Right. Yes, okay."

I got up and got dressed, mindful of Melinda's eyes on me as I did so. I swallowed through a lump in my throat and tried to calmly pull on some clothes. My hands shook slightly when I felt Melinda drop a kiss onto my shoulder. I turned to her.

"I wish you didn't have to go. Are you free tonight?"

She nodded with a happy smile. "Yeah."

"Good." I kissed her firmly and then took her hand. "I want to say firstly, I apologize in advance for my family. Secondly, I'm sorry for anything that happens within the next four minutes."

"Okay." Melinda looked worried.

I open my bedroom door and lead her down the stairs by her hand. The sounds from the kitchen immediately hit my ears and I cringed. I wished we could have done this without everyone's interference.

"Oh, good morning!"

Melinda and I stop dead and turn to see Dad walking through the living room towards the kitchen. He is holding a glass of orange juice and the morning paper in his hand. When he saw us he came to a stop.

"Are you leaving?" he asked.

"Yes, she's just…"

"Cole? Who are you talking to?" I heard Mum call from the kitchen.

"August," Dad replied. "And…I'm sorry, what is your name?"

"Melinda," Melinda mumbled. She was blushing terribly. "Melinda Hobbs."

"August and Melinda," Dad replied.

Mum suddenly appeared from the kitchen and wiped her hands on her shorts. She gave Melinda a warm, inviting smile and said, "Are you staying for breakfast? I'm making pancakes!"

"No, Mum she has to…"

"I'd love to," Melinda cut me off.

"Great!" Mum gave her a delighted smile and then turned to me. "Go wake your sisters, will you?"

Not wanting to leave Melinda alone in the kitchen with my parents I said, "Make Belle do it."

"Your sister is…Oh fuck!" Mum turned around and hurried into the kitchen. "Oh, Annabelle! Well, that's… fine. Just go wash your hands." There was a brief pause. "Why are there chocolate handprints on the walls, Annabelle? You don't know? Look, they're a perfect match!"

"Excuse me," Dad said and hurried into the kitchen. "Holy crap, Annabelle, you work fast."

Melinda and I walked into the kitchen to see Annabelle washing her hands at the sink and Mum and Dad marveling at how she could have gotten chocolate handprints on almost everything in less then a minute. Mum took out her wand and started zapping the walls clean. After a second they sparkled a warm, buttery yellow color. She turned back to Annabelle with a wary shake of the head.

"I'll specify. Please get the chocolate in the muffin trays next time." Mum brings her hand to Annabelle's cheek and rubs some chocolate off. "Go wake Iris and Charlotte, please?"

"Okay." Annabelle hopped off her stool and walked around the island. She stopped dead in front of me and Melinda. "Who are you?" she asked politely.

"Melinda," Melinda replied.

"She's August's friend," Mum said.

"You're here early!" Annabelle said with a smile.

"They had a sleepover," Mum said, coming behind Annabelle to give her a nudge towards the stairs.

"Oh." Annabelle scrutinized us for a moment longer before hurrying in the direction of the stairs.

I turned my attention back to my parents who were acting as though they didn't know what Melinda and I did last night, in my bed, in their house. I would have preferred if they yelled and screamed at me instead of this either complete denial or acceptance.

"The laundry basket is on the floor in the living room, if you want your bra," I breathed in Melinda's ear. I noticed she kept her arms crossed firmly in front of her. "The bathroom is just past the living room, that way."

"Thanks," she whispered and quickly disappeared.

As soon as she was gone, I fixed my attention on my parents. Dad was reading the paper like always while Mum was busy zapping batter onto the simmering pan on the stove. There wasn't even an awkward air around them, as there was with me.

"Don't you guys want to say anything to me?" I asked.

Dad looked up from his paper and said, "Like what?"

"Like that I'm an awful son for doing what I did in your house while you were home?"

Mum and Dad exchanged a look.

"August, darling, you had sex. It was bound to happen. I'm glad you did it here, where it's safe, and not some…coat closet or something." Mum gave me a warm, understanding look.

"Who has sex in coat closets?" I snapped moodily.

"Excuse me," Mum snapped. "Not all of us have the convenience of a bed!"

"What's that supposed to mean?" I cried.

"Nothing," Dad said hurriedly. "Nothing." He gave Mum a look and then turned back to me. "Are you being safe?"

I opened my mouth and then closed it again. I couldn't remember if we had been safe or not. I tried to think back to when it was actually happening, and her knickers had been rolled off and…Oh, bugger, I really couldn't…

"Yes," I said, suddenly remembering. "We did."

"You better," Mum replied. She gave me a look. "I will not be a thirty-six year old grandmother!" She shook her head, as though to rid herself of the thought. "The thought makes me ill."

I could hear the toilet flush from the bathroom and said quickly, "Could you guys stop being so…I don't know, cool, about this?"

"What?" Dad asked.

"You're freaking Melinda out! What kind of mother invites the girl she just caught in her son's bed to breakfast?"

"A good mother, that's who!" Mum retorted. "So, I'm being to cool about this whole thing, is that it?"  
I nod. "Last year I catch you and Frank drinking firewhiskey and flipping through pornos and I'm overreacting when I ground you. This year I catch you with a girl in your bed and I try to be understanding and now I'm not reacting enough." Mum shook her head and placed a hand on her hip. "What would you like me to do, August?"

"I don't know…" I said desperately. "I'm just embarrassed." I felt my cheeks flare with color at even saying that, but I had to let them understand. No matter how understanding they were being, it was still humiliating.

Mum softened again. "I don't want to embarrass you!" she said desperately. "I just don't want you to feel uncomfortable! You know you can talk to us about anything. We just want you to…You're right. She doesn't have to come to breakfast. I'm sorry…" Mum broke off as Melinda came back into the room. Mum whipped around and went back to the stove and Dad immediately dropped his gaze back to the paper and my parents pretended that we hadn't been talking at all.

A second later, Annabelle returned, followed by Iris and Charlotte. Both my older sisters stopped dead when they caught sight of Melinda standing in the middle of the kitchen. Thankfully, Melinda had done into the bathroom to run her fingers through her hair and wash her face. There was no longer smudged lipstick and mascara on her face. There were no longer random tufts of hair sticking up everywhere looking exactly like sex hair.

Charlotte and Iris exchanged a look before they turned back to me. Charlotte quirked an eyebrow and continued into the kitchen. She kissed Dad good morning and poured herself a glass of orange juice before returning her gaze to me and Melinda.

Annabelle came over to Melinda and grabbed her hand. "Will you sit next to me?" she asked, leading Melinda over to the table.

"Oh…um, yes. Sure." Melinda awkwardly perched herself on the chair next to Annabelle. She gave me a pleading look and I hurried over to the empty seat next to her and sat down. I poured her a glass of orange juice while we waited for food.

Dad got up to assist Mum, leaving my sisters, Melinda and I in an unbearably awkward silence. I cleared my throat before taking a large gulp of orange juice, just as Annabelle said, "Where are your pajamas, Melinda?"

I choked on my orange juice, and before I could answer, Iris asked, "Why Annabelle?"

"Mum said she slept over with August," Annabelle replied as she buttered a piece of toast.

Charlotte snorted into her orange juice and quickly averted her eyes elsewhere. I finally regained control of my throat and said, "Alright. Enough. Just be quiet."

Annabelle gave me an offended look. Believe me, it is very hard to offend a seven and a half year old, but I seemed to have mastered the art of it. Annabelle hated when I talked to her the way I talked to Charlotte or Iris.

The older girls and I could fight with each other and not actually hurt each other's feelings. However, I had to carefully choose my words with Annabelle very carefully. She had yet to master the art of hurling back an insult and anything I said could be taken literally.

I still remember the one time I made her cry. It nearly broke my heart I felt so bad about it. It was never my attention to make her cry, but the words were out of my mouth before I could stop them. If it had been Charlotte, then she would have hurled something back at me and we would have begun a pretty promising fight.

Mum came up to the table now and placed a platter of pancakes on the table. She then placed the syrup next to the platter. She walks over to her seat as Dad placed a plate of bacon next to the pancakes.

"Nudge, pass the syrup, will you?" Dad asked as he helped Mum load her plate.

Charlotte passed him the syrup.

We all have weird nicknames. I'm Brother because for longest time Annabelle couldn't actually pronounce my name correctly. As hard as she tried it usually came out "Aunust" or "Sausage" or "Office." She could, however, say "Brover" pretty well, and that eventually morphed into Brother and now, I go by August or Brother.

Charlotte got the nickname Nudge because, according to Mum, she never kicked while inside the womb. She would politely nudge. Before they knew whether she was going to be a boy or a girl, they simply called her Nudge. It stuck long after she was born.

Iris is Baby because for a period of 5 years she was the baby of the family. When Mum and Dad tried to take away the nickname because Annabelle had been born, Iris went into an almighty fit. She refused to come if they called her by Iris. Mum and Dad relented and she remained Baby because, let's face it, she is one. Well, she can be. She's more levelheaded now.

Annabelle is simply Belle. Sometimes Dad will call her Little One, but other than that she is simply Belle.

We all ate in somewhat silence. The only person who really talked freely and without any insecurity was Annabelle because she had no idea what is going on. Iris and Charlotte were deliberately not looking at me or at each other. Mum and Dad kept exchanging looks that clearly hinted they figured out this wasn't the best idea. Melinda was pushing her cut up pancake around the plate, stopping only to take a quick bite. She seemed content with not letting any attention be directed onto her.

After fifteen minutes, Mum got up tugging Dad up by the shirt and began to clean up. Iris offered to play tea party with Annabelle. The only occupants at the table were now Charlotte, Melinda and I. I tried to motion for Charlotte to go away, but she wasn't even paying attention to me. She was sipping her orange juice and flipping through a magazine.

"I should get going," Melinda whispered.

"Yeah. Alright."

I stand and walk her to the fireplace. She waivers for a second before placing a kiss on my lips. I look into her eyes for a second before I notice Mum and Dad watching from the kitchen. I give them a look and they quickly disappear around the corner again.

"I'll owl you later about tomorrow," I promised.

She smiled broadly at me. "Okay."

"Can you do me a huge favor?" I asked suddenly, as she prepared to throw the powder in the fireplace.

"Sure, what?"

"Can you not mention this? Like, to anyone."

"Believe me, this is going in a little box in my head and I am never visiting it ever again." She gave me another smile. "Don't worry about it. Your family is…nice."

The green flames engulfed her and she disappeared. I turned on my heel and made my way back into the kitchen. I tossed a glare over to Mum and Dad, who were zapping dishes clean.

"Well, that was awful!" I snapped.

"It was fine," Mum replied. "We didn't embarrass you! No one even said anything!"

"Why would you invite her to breakfast?"

"You invited her to breakfast?" Charlotte asked. "Why? You should have let her scamper out of here with her tail tucked between her legs like she wanted to."

"Yeah. Right." I then frowned and glared over at Charlotte. "Mind your own business. This doesn't concern you."

"Perhaps it doesn't," she said, standing and gathering her glass and magazine. "But, shall I remind you that we do share a wall." She paused as she walked by me and placed a hand on my shoulder. "A courtesy Silencing Spell would be appreciated next time." She patted my shoulder and flounced out of the room as I felt a hot sting of embarrassment.

I've never lived that little incident down. Even nine years later.

OoOoOo

"_So," Iris says, giving a still giggling Charlotte a look, "do you want me to parlay a message to her? You know, let her know that you still think about her?"_

"_Do you still think about her?" Annabelle asks suddenly._

_I choose my words carefully. "Sure. I mean, not everyday. Sometimes I'll think about her."_

"_Why did you lose contact with her?"_

_I shrug. "We graduated and wanted different things. You go different places then some of your classmates. I wanted to travel."_

_I felt restless after graduation. Mum and Dad allowed me to take the year off and travel as much as I wanted. I stopped in from time to time, but mostly, I went around the globe living out of just my backpack. When I returned it seemed as though everyone had fallen into a routine with their jobs. Horrified, I tried to find my own place._

"_What did Melinda want?"_

_I glance down at Annabelle in confusion._

"_Why are you so interested?"_

_She shrugs. "I don't know." She chews on her thumb. "Didn't you love her?"_

_I shrug this time. "I was young. It doesn't usually work that way. Young love doesn't work that way, I should say. It's useless."_

"_It did with Mum and Dad," she says._

"_They're freaks."_

"_And grandma and grandpa."_

"_That was different. There was a war going on."_

_Annabelle seems distressed by my answers. My older brother senses are going off, but I know better than to pry. She'll tell me when she's ready. I can tell, though, that there is something dancing around her mind. She wants to ask me or tell me something. _

"_What are you two talking about?" Charlotte asks, turning around to glance back at us._

"_Melinda," Annabelle replies._

_Charlotte raises her eyebrows at me. "Reminiscing, then?"_

"_No. Not really," I reply. _

_When Charlotte turns around again, Annabelle tugs on my coat sleeve. I turned to her with a quirked eyebrow._

"_What did Melinda want?"_

"_Marriage. A house. Babies, I suppose," I say. _

"_You don't want that?"_

"_I don't know. Maybe eventually. I don't know if I'd be any good at that."_

"_Sure you would! Wouldn't he?" Annabelle asks Iris, who happened to glance back at us._

"_Huh?"_

"_Wouldn't August be a good father?"_

_Iris snorts. "Yeah. Sure he would."_

"_I think you would," Annabelle says._

"_He used to babysit you, you know," Charlotte says. _

"_I remember," Annabelle says. Our eyes meet and I know she is instantly thinking back to the first time I ever babysat her._

OoOoOo

The first time my parents let me babysit, I fucked up big time. After all the begging and whining and complaining that I was, at this time, fourteen years old, they finally gave in.

"Alright," Mum said. "Your father and I are going into Diagon Alley to go shopping," Mum said. "We will be gone for no more than two hours." She studied me with a firm look in her eyes. "You have to watch your sisters!"

"I will!" I insisted.

"You have to keep an eye on them at all times!"

"I will!" I implored.

"You have to literally take Annabelle by the hand and not let go until we come home!"

"I…Mum, I won't do that. Listen, go do your shopping! We'll be fine! It's two hours!"

"I know that," she snapped. "If it were just you it would be one thing…But you've got to be mindful of Annabelle! She's still only five!"

"Mum, I promise I won't take my eyes off of her!" I said

Mum exhaled deeply. "Alright then."

They left, leaving me with all types of threats to what would happen to me if something went wrong. For example, if the house blew up then I would have to do dishes by myself for a month. It made no sense, but I got the gist of where they were going this. I would be in deep shit.

As soon as they left, Iris and Charlotte returned to their bedroom. They were deeply entrenched in a game of house and couldn't be bothered to play with Annabelle. So, being the good big brother I was, I offered to let her watch me do my homework.

"Can I go play outside?" she asked after ten minutes.

"No. Mum said I have to keep my eye on you," I said.

"But I'm bored! Do homework outside!" She gave me puppy-dog eyes and tucked her upper lip under her lower lip. "Pease, Brother?"

"I'll tell you what," I said, caving under her stare. "You go get a head start and I'll just finish this paper. I'll be out to play in ten minutes."

"Thank you!" She gave me a kiss on the cheek and literally ran from the table and out the back door. I watched her go before returning to my paper.

It took a bit longer than ten minutes and before I knew it, thirty minutes had passed by. Charlotte came into the kitchen looking for water and said, "Where's Belle?"

"Huh?" I said, glancing up from my paper.

"Where's Belle?" Charlotte repeated.

"She's…" I glanced out the window, but didn't see her right away. I stood up from the table and walked over to the back windows. My eyes searched the backyard, but I still didn't see her. "She should be…" I felt a nervous knot form in my stomach as I went to the backdoor and flung it open.

"You're supposed to be watching her!" Charlotte snapped.

"Shut up!" I snapped. "Annabelle! Annabelle!" I frantically looked around the yard, but I didn't see her still. A lump appeared in my throat to coincide with the nervous knot.

I ran down the yard a bit and then around the corner. I stopped dead. There, in front of me, sitting in the pool playing with some of her pool toys, was Annabelle. She was emerged almost up to her chin. I could make out her soaked clothes through the water.

I exhaled sharply. I don't know how long I had held my breath and just stood there, staring at Annabelle as she sat in the water. If she had gone in any further…If she had been any stupider or if I hadn't started screaming…

"Annabelle! Get out of the water!" I shouted furiously. "Get out right now!"

She gave me a bewildered look and waded out of the water and back onto the cement surrounding the pool. Her eyes were wide as saucers as she saw me near hyperventilation. I quickly ran to her, afraid she'd turn around, jump back in and drown before I could get to her.

I grabbed her arm with an almighty yank and brought her back into the house, Charlotte hot on my heels. We were both breathing hard as we looked down at Annabelle's still dry head.

"What is the matter with you?" I demanded furiously. "Do you know you could have been killed? You could have drown!" I shouted.

"I got hot!" she cried. Her bottom lip started to quiver and she was gazing up at me with those green eyes. I now know why Dad never got mad at her. She had the ability to make you feel bad when she was doing something wrong. And the look she was giving me right now…Well, I found myself faltering.

"Merlin, Belle!" Charlotte said. "Do you know what Mum would have thought if she came back and you were dead? Do you know how sad that would have made everyone?" She held out her hand. "Let's go get changed."

I glanced at Annabelle's outfit and saw that she hadn't even taken her shoes off. Her white sneakers, her white socks, her purple shorts and her lilac shirt were all drenched from the water. It made my skin crawl when I looked and saw the very base of the nape of her hair was wet. I didn't know it then, but the what-ifs? of that afternoon would haunt me for another five years, until Annabelle learned to swim on her own.

Charlotte grunted as she picked Annabelle up. She waddled over to the stairs and then up them. I heard Charlotte's soft voice until the reached the top of the stairs and went in the direction of Annabelle's room.

I sat down on the kitchen chair with a plop. My heart was still beating a mile a minute. I couldn't even think straight. All I could think about was how I could have almost lost my sister.

A while later, after I had drunk about eight glasses of water to calm myself down, Charlotte came stomping back into the room. She eyed me with one furious look before she snapped, "Your Quidditch gloves."

"What?" I asked.

"I want your Quidditch gloves in exchange for my silence."

We both knew how easy I was getting off.

"Okay."

"Go talk to her. She thinks you hate her."

"I don't hate her…"

"Then go explain that to her yourself. She's sobbing into her pillow."

I sighed and walked past Charlotte. "Thanks."

"Don't touch me," she snapped when I went to hug her. "Gosh, you're so weird!" She stomped further into the kitchen and I went up to talk to Annabelle.

Sure enough, she was sitting on her bed crying when I went in to talk to her. I did the best I could to ensure that she knew I wasn't angry with her, I was simply scared for what might have happened. She sniffled that she understood.

When Mum and Dad got home Dad asked, "So, how was it? You think you might want to…"  
"No!" I cut him off immediately. He jumped and gave me a bewildered look. "No. Mum's right. It's too much responsibility. Maybe when Annabelle is older."

"What…?"

"Nothing." I gave him what I hoped was a reassuring smile and said, "I just realized how much work it could be."

"If you want to talk about it," Dad said.

I sighed. "I found her in the pool."

"You found…" Dad broke off. "Belle?" I nodded and he cursed under his breath. "Is she…?"

"Fine. She's fine." I looked down at my shoes. "I caught her before she could go under. I only let her out of my sight for ten minutes."

Dad nodded. "That's all it takes."

"Don't tell Mum," I pleaded.

"Uh, duh," Dad snapped, giving me a look. "You don't tell your mother, either."

"Am I in trouble?"

"You made a mistake," Dad said. "And you look damn scared…so, no. We'll try this again some other time."

"Okay."

"Don't worry about it, August."

I must have still looked pretty upset about it, because he took me by the shoulder and led me into the living room. He sat me down on the couch and then sat down on the coffee table in front of me. He then looked me square in the eyes and said, "We all make mistakes like these. Sometimes everything is fine and no one gets hurt and sometimes people do get hurt. We all do it."

"Even you?"

Dad nodded. "Even me."

"Who?"

"You."

"What happened?"

"You must have been about three," Dad began. "I took you into Diagon Alley for the afternoon. I stopped at an ice cream vendor and took my eyes off of you for half a second and when I turned back…you were gone. It took me forty-five minutes to find you. By that time I was near panic."

"Where was I?"

"In the pet store." Dad shook his head. "I can't even describe the relief I felt when I found you. It was like being confronted with your worst fear and then watching it disappear without harming anyone." He laughed. "I never told Mum. She thought we took the long way home."

I smile at him. "Thanks."

"Welcome."

"What are you two talking about?" Mum asked, coming into the room from the kitchen. She had some bags hanging from her arm.

"Sex," Dad answered promptly. I give Dad a horrified look.

"Oh." Mum nods. "About time, Cole! I thought I was going to have to do it!" She gives me a smile. "How did it go?"

"Fine," I said.

"Good!" Mum looked generally pleased. "Glad to hear it. Dinner in an hour."

"Okay."

She walked up the stairs and Dad stood up. He looked pretty pleased with himself and began to leave. He stopped however, and turned back to me.

"Do I need to have the sex talk with you?"

"No."

"You know you just stick it in…Well, that's not true. Actually, there's a whole system before that…"

"Dad, please don't," I said.

"Another time, then," Dad said.

"Like in fifteen years."

"Hopefully you'll be shagging long before then," Dad replied before exiting the living room.

I let out a deep breath just as Charlotte came into the living room, headed for the stairs. She stopped when she saw me. "Don't forget our deal," she said.

"What deal?" I asked, standing up.

"Your gloves for my silence."

"Actually, I've changed my mind. You can't have my gloves."

She gave me a look of disbelief. "I'll tell," she snapped.

"Too late. I already did," I said. I gave her a bright smile as she glared angrily at me. "Too bad, you lose." And with that I shoved her out of the way and headed up the stairs. I heard her let out a scream of fury before I made it to my door and closed it over.

Truth be told, I probably should have just given her the gloves. After that, she never let me get the best of her ever again.

OoOoOo

_We all came to a stop around a large tree that had been planted for the first grandchild's birth. There was a high priestess already waiting for us. Her long, white gown flutters in the breeze that suddenly comes floating through the leaves and air._

_I gaze around at the heads of various family members and take a moment to take in the sheer number of us._

_Family parties are busy things, let me tell you. Everyone shows up, bringing with them loads of children and aunts and uncles and sometimes animals. _

_Perhaps I should quickly delve into the family dynamic. I try to explain to people just how huge my family is, to no avail. You must actually witness it to realize the exact volume of people. I'll do my best to describe it, though._

_The last time we were all together was three months ago was for Charlotte's wedding. Who would want to marry her, I have no idea. She really is like a screaming, raging bitch almost all of the time. At least to me she is. _

_We never really got out of that teenage fighting stage. Most of the time we can get along, but there have been a few times where I have had to put her in a chokehold to get her to calm down. My arms still bear the scratch marks to prove it._

_And, at said wedding, Charlotte and Iris actually got into a fist fight! According to Belle, who witnessed the entire thing, and even got a few punches flung her way, it escalated from a stupid fight over a ripped dress. I've always said I never got women, but I particularly don't get my sisters. A ripped dress could be fixed with the wave of the hand! Had we been mortals it would have been different! That I could see getting into a fight about._

_Well, in my family there's Mum and Dad, who have each just turned forty-five. I myself just turned twenty-six. Charlotte turns twenty-four in November, Iris turned twenty-two in February and Annabelle will turn seventeen at the end of August._

_Mum's older sister Elizabeth had four kids. Violet is a year older than me at twenty-seven, Michael and Jude (twins) are a year younger than me at twenty-five and Grace is twenty-three. They live pretty close to us and are generally at our house for Sunday breakfast. _

_Mum's older brother James had the most children out of the three of them. Mum always used to say that James would repeatedly tell her that he never wanted to marry, and he never wanted kids. However, that apparently changed when he met Aunt Alice. He had seven children. James is the oldest and my age. Harry is a year younger than him. Then there's the twins, Meredith and Winnie, who are twenty-three. Emily is twenty-one, Mary is nineteen and Kate is seventeen, Annabelle's age._

_In Mum's family alone there are fifteen grandchildren…out of three people came fifteen grandchildren. When and if I have kids I'm having one and hoping it turns into a well adjusted human being. If not, then it can live with me and its mother and take care of us as we get older. I believe it is a win-win situation. _

_I will guess I have to mention the Longbottoms who are at our house almost every day. Well, at least one of them is. _

_Frank and Demi, who are my godparents, also had seven children. They had Frank Jr., who is my age. Then they had Rose, who is Charlotte's age. Then the twins Neville and Andromeda two years later. Two years later they had Stella. Then came Augusta two years after that. Two years later came their last child, a son, Remus. _

_It gets pretty hectic, let me tell you! Even at a funeral there is a constant hum of chatter._

_The eulogy begins and I hear three sniffles coming in the direction of my sisters. Always prepared, I extract three tissues and hand one to each of them. Three grateful smiles direct at me. I place my arm over Annabelle's shoulder and pull her into a one-armed hug._

_I then happen to glance over and see Mum and Dad standing near one another, hugging._

_Mum and Dad fought like nothing else on the planet. Sometimes it would seem as though the walls were rattling with their fury for one another. The only thing they ever agreed on was to disagree on almost everything. They loved to piss the other off as though it were sport._

_And yet, underneath that, I realized that they truly loved each other in a really rare way. It was the only way that allowed them to talk to one another in such a manner and still remain married. I always wondered if perhaps one of them would one day snap and kill the other, but they never did._

_Dad always had the utmost respect for Mum, and she for him. He treated her like a princess and cared for with such compassion and love that I often wondered if I would ever be able to do it._

_It was from this that caused me to push Melinda away almost immediately following graduation. It was abrupt even for me and I saw it coming. I didn't know what else to do. In my mind, she had to go…_

_I let out a heavy sigh and turn my head towards Annabelle, Iris and Charlotte. They are standing next to each other, holding each other's hands. I move a bit closer and nudge Charlotte's hand with my own hand. She looks at me out of the corner of her eye and takes my hand. She gives me a comforting squeeze. _

_Yes, funerals are a time for reflection._

_As everyone starts the long walk back to Aunt Elizabeth's house for brunch, I hurry to catch up with Iris. "What time do you start your lunch breaks?" I ask._

"_Around one." She gives me a bemused look. "Why?"_

_I shrug indifferently. "I just thought I'd stop by tomorrow."_

"_To see me?"_

"_Now, why the hell would I do that?" I ask, giving her a cheeky smile. _

_Iris returns my smile. "Her office is second from the left."_

"_I have no idea what you're talking about," I say, feigning innocence. I catch sight of Annabelle walking up the path with our mother. "I'll see you at Aunt Elizabeth's?"_

"_Yeah. I just need to find Charlotte. Where the hell did she disappear to?"_

_I hurry to Annabelle. "Mum, let me borrow Belle," I say, grabbing her by the shoulder._

"_Alright, but don't dawdle."_

"_Okay."_

_Mum walks away in search of Dad and I stare down at Annabelle. She's giving me a questioning look and I say, "Don't give up on young love. It prevails." I give her a kiss on the cheek and we walk back up to the house is comfortable silence._

A/N: After much, much, much, much writer's block, I finally got out as much as I wanted to say. In case it isn't clear there will be four parts of the epilogue, all told in the Malfoy children's perspectives as they come together for a funeral. Whose funeral it is will not be revealed until the end.

As is my style, the chapters will get longer and filled with more detail. I have everything carefully planned in my head, so while it may seem like there isn't much of August in the plot, there will be once I introduce each of the characters in their own chapters.

I'm very excited about this, so please try to keep any negative comments productive. Telling me you do not like what I wrote doesn't help me grow as a writer. I try to please everyone, but alas, at the end of the day it is my project. I do listen to everything everyone says, though, you must believe me. You guys have all been so wonderful and I do this as much for you as for me. I want everyone to enjoy this…

That being said, I am currently ten pages deep into a Cole POV one or two shot piece. Not sure how I'm going to take it…but it's coming along. I will try to have that up soon. I hope to have the three other chapters of this up soon. I'm a little rusty so my apologies if it shows…

I hope you enjoyed it. Please review with any feedback, good or bad. I read them all!! :)


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